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Post by respectmeordye3 on Feb 27, 2006 12:09:36 GMT -5
Limey is walking down the hall when a small sign standing on the floor ahead of him catches his eye and he pauses to read it.
It says the following.
"IF YOUR NAME IS LIMEY, STOP AND LOOK TO YOUR LEFT!" Limey looks to his left and sees a flight of stairs leading to the floor above.At the top of the stairs stands a grinning Mitchell Brell--"Wait here you jockass, I owe you a whooping!"
Now he's curious. He waits, and hears the thumping of running feet from the floor above suddenly Mitchell Brell appears at the top of the stairs again but this time he's in motion-he takes a running leap off the top stair and flies through the air down straight towards Limey.
For a second it looks as though the surprise attack might work--Limey is too shocked at the spectacle to have time to move out of the way.
Then it happens.
halfway down Brell comes face to face with a low hanging ceiling beam,like a VW Rabbit in a head on collison with a semi-truck--and the beam is the semi-truck.
Brell lets out a pained screech as he gets clotheslined by the beam and plummets straight down onto the flight of stairs and then continues his decent rolling down the stairs the rest of the way, letting out yelps and grunts of pain as he goes.
finally he hits the landing at Limey's feet-all bloodied, his glasses busted yet again, and smacks into the small sign hard enough that it tips over and lands on his face causing him one last bit of pain.
Limey smirks "Oh boy, you sure taught me a lesson--I'll never mess with you again,that's for sure!" he says in a sarcastic tone of voice.
"You sure as hell better have done as I told you Brell or I do as I threatened" he says stepping over Brell's nearly unconcious body and walking away down the hall....
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Lily-Rose
Mike the Goon
Rockin' All Night.
Posts: 42
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Post by Lily-Rose on Feb 27, 2006 12:11:59 GMT -5
*Moniqua is backstage cursing out in Italian, holding FruFru in her arms, as she passes by Tanya, who's standing against the wall smiling to herself.*
TANYA: *with sarcasm* Quite the trip for the Happiest Place on Earth, wouldn't you say?
MONIQUA: You! How DARE you force me into the ring with a disgusting rat like yourself? I am not meant to wrestle in such barbaric matter!
TANYA: Well, if that's the case, then maybe now you'll see the true meaning of a 'hooded rat'.
*Tanya blows a kiss and giggles.*
TANYA: Ciao.
*Tanya heads off for her match. Moniqua just stands there staring a hole into Tanya, then continues to curse around.*
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Lily-Rose
Mike the Goon
Rockin' All Night.
Posts: 42
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Post by Lily-Rose on Feb 27, 2006 14:53:51 GMT -5
LILLIAN: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Making her way to the ring first...SABLE!
*Cat roar, whip, music. Sable comes out, walks down to the ring, and does some kind of silly dance.*
LILLIAN: and the opponent...from Snootsville, Connecticut...the Blazing Inferno, Tanya FLAIRE!
*The opening riff of Spit plays as Tanya heads out to the crowd's cheers. She slides into the ring, and gets on the second turnbuckle, pointing to the fans whenever "Spit!" is yelled in the song. Tanya steps down and grabs a mic from the ring.*
TANYA: Ladies and gentlemen, this is my opponent. Sable!
*The crowd gives off a large amount of boos to Sable.*
TANYA: Sable was one of the many pieces of eye candy in the Attitude era of WWE. She would storm around the ring in almost next to nothing, goign so far as to one time handpaint her breasts.
*More boos*
TANYA: Heck, she's even posed for Playboy...not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES. And Sable? As good as all of that sounds...that just makes you a s***!
*Sable looks shocked at all this, and grabs the mic from Tanya.*
SABLE: How dare you?! What gives you any right to call me a slut?! If I'm mistaken, you used to be-
TANYA: What I used to be and what you still are to this day are two completely different things!
*The crowd cheers this on*
TANYA: Heck, you were a former WWE Women's champion! The LEAST you could have done was show some moral values! But it's too late for that now, isn't it?
*Tanya drops the mic and runs at Sable, knocking her down with a flying shoulderblock. Tanya then runs at the ropes for a Lionsault, but Sable rolls out of the way. Sable gets up and charges at Tanya, but Tanya takes her down with an STF. Sable grabs the ropes, and Tanya lets go at three. Tanya picks Sable up and hits her with a Burning Wheel Drop.Tanya goes for the pin.*
1!2!3!
*The bell rings, and Tanya takes to the mic again.*
TANYA: Moniqua, this is what happens when you mouth off, and don't have the skill to back it up with! So get ready to feel the burn!
*With that being her best catch phrase at the moment, Tanya drops the mic and heads to the back as "Spit" plays.
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Post by Oceanic on Feb 27, 2006 22:29:25 GMT -5
Sum Guy: "Hi! I'm Sum Guy and I sleep in a tub of tartar sauce. I'm here with the brand new GND champion Oceanic, who has her hands full this Sunday against not one, but TWO, very dangerous contenders for the belt. Former champion Carla O. Woe and the Lady Spectacular Holly Vaughn. So O, this could be your toughest challenge to date. How do you plan to come out on top of this one?"
Oceanic: "It won't be easy, that's for sure. I already know how tough Carla is, and when I faced Holly at Girl's Night Out she had already gone through two opponents so she wasn't at full capacity. And even then she still had a lot of fight in her. Facing both at the same time will be very difficult, but if it wasn't then I wouldn't bother with the match at all."
Sum Guy: "As you know, Carla is a big supporter of the Honor Code. She believes, like you, that each match should be about skill and talent. Holly, on the other hand, is not above using under handed tactics. In fact she can be down right cruel and sadistic when she wants to be. What kind of tricks do you think she'll have up her sleeve?"
Oceanic: "It doesn't matter. If Holly doesn't want to play by the Honor Code, that's her deal. But don't expect me to cower from her during the match and just fork my belt over to her. I worked hard to win this title and nobody like Holly will take it from me. She can pull all the tricks she wants but that won't stop me from putting the boots to her."
Sum Guy: "But......you don't wear boots."
Oceanic: "Figure of speech. My point is that I have a lot of respect for Carla. She is the best pure athlete I have ever faced in the ring. She knows what the GND division is all about. I am honored to know someone like her. Holly, on the other hand, I have no respect for. She thinks that she can do whatever she wants just because she's involved in some fanatical cult. Easy answers for a simple mind, I'm afraid. Holly, and Chrysta for that manner, need to be educated in the Honor Code, and I think I'll make a fine teacher."
Sum Guy: "Wow! I think we have the makings for a show stealer this Sunday at Freek Show. Oceanic defends her belt against Carla O Woe and Holly Vaughn! Don't miss it! I'm Sum Guy and someone stole my Mickey Mouse watch!"
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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on Feb 28, 2006 0:02:29 GMT -5
*Cut back to ringside*
Ring Announcer: The following non-title contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from the great state of Texas, weighing in at 305 lbs., he is the EWT Tri-State Champion, The Outlaw Chris James!
*The Outlaw walks out with title in hand. He draws many boos from fans. Then "Sexy Guy" hits*
Oh oh Bret...
RA: And his opponent, being accompanied by Cherry, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, weighing in at 232 lbs., the Heartbreak Hitman Bret Michaels!
*HBH walks out with Cherry by his side as usual. Fans are heckling them. He threatens to smack one fan across the face, but keeps on moving. He gets in the ring and poses with Cherry. The Outlaw looks unimpressed*
The bell rings to start the match. HBH and Outlaw circle the ring. They lock up. Outlaw shoves HBH away. HBH looks a bit shocked, but gets back to his feet. They lock up. Outlaw applies a headlock. HBH whips him to the ropes and knocked down by a shoulder block. Outlaw runs to the ropes and leaps over HBH to get to the other side. HBH leapfrogs Outlaw as he runs back to the ropes. HBH attempts a hip toss, but Outlaw reverses into his own hip toss. Outlaw then takes HBH down with a couple of clotheslines. HBH crawls to the corner to get himself up. Outlaw stays on him with a series of punches. He whips HBH to the opposite corner. HBH stumbles forward and into a running slam. Outlaw covers him.
1... 2...
HBH kicks out. Outlaw picks him up and performs a delayed vertical suplex. He then takes HBH back into the corner and chokes him. The ref starts a 5 count, with Outlaw breaking the choke after 4. He whips HBH to the opposite corner. He runs at him for a splash, but HBH moves out of the way, leaving Outlaw to hit the turnbuckle. HBH takes advantage by ramming Outlaw shoulder first into the ringpost. Next he stomps a mudhole in him. HBH runs at him and hits a dropkick. Then he does a mahistral cradle for a pin.
1... 2...
Outlaw kicks out. HBH picks him up and hits an uppercut followed by a double arm DDT. Next he drops a knee on the head and smashes Outlaw's knee into the mat. HBH gets him to his feet and hits a backbreaker. After that he does a Russian leg sweep. He climbs to the second rope and hits a diving elbow. He then does a standing moonsault for good measure and covers Outlaw.
1... 2...
Outlaw kicks out again. HBH performs a snapmare followed by a pullover neckbreaker. He then slaps on a dragon sleeper. There are mixed reactions from fans as they don't know who to cheer for. Cherry is at ringside cheering HBH on. Outlaw is fighting it, desperately trying to get out of it. All of a sudden he gets up and turns the sleeper into a Northern Lights Suplex pin.
1... 2...
HBH kicks out. Outlaw runs at him and is met with a spinning heel kick. HBH picks him up and hits a slingshot suplex. He does some posing, which draws very loud boos from fans. He climbs to the top rope. He jumps off for a senton bomb, but Outlaw moves at the last second, causing HBH to hit the canvas. The ref starts the 10 count.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
Both men are now back up. Outlaw blocks a punch from HBH and throws one of his own. He blocks another and hits HBH with another punch. This exchange continues until Outlaw attacks with a series of punches and kicks. He whips HBH to the ropes and hits a back body drop. He picks up HBH and gives him the Snake Eyes followed by a flying lariat. He runs to the ropes and hits a leg drop. He pins HBH.
1... 2...
HBH gets the shoulder up. Outlaw picks him up for a press slam, but HBH gets a thumb in the eye. He capitalizes with a swinging neckbreaker. He climbs to the top rope and connects with an elbow drop. HBH motions that he's going to put Outlaw away. He sets up for the Sharpshooter, but Outlaw kicks him away. He catapults HBH into the turnbuckle. HBH stumbles into a fallaway slam. Outlaw picks him up and attempts to whip him into the ropes, but HBH reverses it with a whip of his own. When Outlaw gets to the ropes, Cherry grabs his leg. Outlaw turns around and yells at her. Meanwhile, HBH comes from behind and rolls Outlaw up for a pin. He's grabbing the tights.
1... 2...
3! *Bell rings*
RA: Here is your winner, the Heartbreak Hitman Bret Michaels!
*HBH rolls out of the ring and gets Cherry. They celebrate on their way up the ramp. Outlaw meanwhile looks pissed off. He points to HBH and mouths off "We're not finished"*
*Cut to a commercial*
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Post by chanceconfidence on Feb 28, 2006 1:41:48 GMT -5
School's out for the Summer starts up as Chance Confidence makes his way out to the ring and down the ramp.
Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall... currently approaching the ring, from England, weighing in at 240 pounds... Chance Confidence!!!
Chance twirls around a bit as he gets his mixed reaction. He walks over the audience... snatching one of those pairs of Mickey Mouses ear off some fat lard ass... and putting them on... then changing his mind and tossing them into the crowd... as he then quickly enters the ring... does his flip... handstand.... hops down and takes the microphone.
Chance: Hello to all of you... there... don't yo feel all special now, Mr. Chance.... Confidence just acknowledged you exist!
The crowd boos... except for the dumbasses who cheer.
Chance: You know... before I start... I have to apologize for you people not getting to witness the finesse and grace of me kicking some poor saps ass in the ring... but you can all blame Mr. Slave for that... oh I mean A-Bomb. Well if he's a bomb... he must've been one of those duds.
Chance smirks, tossing the microphone into the air, and catching it... for no reason but to show off.
Chance: But A-Blob... I guess I can't blame you for locking me in a room... because you know... you can tell that if you ever did get into the ring with me... I'd beat your sorry ass so badly... you'd need a tampon to stop all the bleeding!
The crowd pops as Chance smirks.
Chance: Oh and... I'm not done yet. Eddie Omega... how's every little thing? Congratulations for making it so far in the tournament... I mean... well except for the last round. That was luck... I'm sure. Just remember... WE still have a score to settle... and I guarantee we will settle it, without a draw this time.
The crowd cheers again.
Chance: Finally... let's see... Buzz Lightyear... Tom Sawyer... Tom Lightyear... whatever your stupid ass name is... come on out here so you can get your sorry self beaten silly by... CHANCE... CONFIDENCE!!!
Chance tosses the mike to the announcer... who drops it. He quickly picks it back up as here comes the opponent.
Announcer: And from St Petersburg Florida, weighing in at 230 pounds... Buzz Sawyer!!!
Sawyer gets a nice nostalgic pop, quickly entering the ring and looking at Chance.... who delicately removes his robe, folds it up all nice and neat and tosses it somewhere on the outside. The bell rings and Chance goes into action, locking up with Buzz. The two struggle to gain the upper hand... until Chance goes behind Sawyer, lifting him up and slamming his face to the mat. He smirks and gets to his feet... leaping up and coming down with an high elbow drop attempt, but Adams rolls out of the way. He gets to his feet as Chance hits the mat hard, sitting up... Buzz leaping up now and going for a dropkick to the face. connecting and sending Chance to the mat as he goes for the quick cover. 1..... Easy kick out by Chance.
Sawyer doesn't look too surprised by this, but lifts Chance to his feet, attempting a snap suplex... but Chance counters, hitting him with one of his own, slamming him into the mat. He does his first nip up of the match and yawns... grabbing Sawyer and hoisting him to his feet and into a normal suplex... into a cover of his own. 1....2.. Sawyer kicks out. Chance gets to his feet... stomping a few times at Sawyer's chest... then going for a moonsault splash... but again Sawyer instinctively rolls out the way. Chance hits the mat hard. He groans... quickly getting to his feet, turning around... charging forward for a crossbody, but Chance catches him and goes for a modified Fallaway Slam... tossing Sawyer... then rolling from off the ground right onto him for a pin. 1....2.....
Sawyer kicks out again. Chance groans... once again rising up... then nailing Sawyer as he sits up with a rolling neckbreaker... taking him right back down. He lays back a bit... using Sawyer as a human pillow... yawns... and gets some boos. He sits up... dusts himself off... then goes the flipping leg drop... but Sawyer once again rolls out of the way. Chance hits the mat hard... as Sawyer slowly rises to his feet... stalking Chance... and as he gets up, takes him down with a nice DDT and into a cover. 1....2....
But Chance gets the shoulder up. Sawyer groans... a bit frustrated. He lifts Chance to his feet... grabbing him and going to ram him right into the turnbuckle. But Chance stops himself with his foot... elbowing his way out... Buzz breaking his grip... as Chance immediately leaps up to the top of the turnbuckle, then back off... with a high clothesline... ALA Shelton Benjamin. Sawyer is caught off guard... getting taken down and out as Chance quickly hooks the leg for the cover. 1.....2....
Chance... nut unusually breaks his own cover... nips up.. takes a deep breath... and waits for Sawyer to get to his feet. Of course, Buzz is too dazed from the clothesline to see Chance and then... it's too late. A kick to the sternum and the Confidence breaker. Buzz is laid out as Chance then rushes forward... hopping onto and off the turnbuckle and into the Confidence Booster...
You've gotta be kidding! Sawyer out of pure desperation probably gets his knees up... taking the wind out of Chance's sails and sending him rolling to the mat... groaning in pain. The referee starts to count them out.
1.....
2.....
3.....
4.....
5.....
6.....
7.....
8.....
But before the 9, Chance and Sawyer are both up. The two size each other up... then Chance nails a chop... Sawyer counters with a punch.... chop.... punch... chop... punch... until finally Chance starts to take control... hitting vicious knife edge chop after even more vicious knife edge chop... sending Sawyer reeling back into the turnbuckle. Chance smirks... then on instinct charges forward and nails the Super Amazing Totally Awesome Better Than You Flipping Stinger Splash of his... and connects. Sawyer groans... holding his chest as Chance then grabs him... lifts him up and nails an Osaka Street Cutter. He takes another few breathes, then leaps up again... for another Confidence Booster... and this time he gets all of it. 1.....2......
3! This match is history.
Announcer: Here is your winner... Chance Confidence!!!
Chance slowly gets to his feet... exiting the ring and heading backstage as we fade to commercial.
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Feb 28, 2006 7:23:20 GMT -5
*Spaz is standing out teh front of Pirates of The Carribean.*
S: The semi fiansl are here & Spaz is still around. Fate has decided it's my time. Gasoline, you are one hell of a wrestler, a superstar in your own right. But when the time comes I will put you down for a three count, just like Maelstrom, just like Flex. Then I will be one step closer to my fate. Becoming EWT World Heavyweight Champion. Believe the Hype!
*The crowd queded up for Pirates start to chant something*
Crowd: Spaz = Champion! Spaz = Champion!
*The camera pans across the crowd as we cut to a promo for Freek Show.*
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Post by Banned Member on Feb 28, 2006 12:01:43 GMT -5
*Outlaw is shown sputtering as he walks though Main Street Disney, and is stopped by Sum Guy.*
SG: I'm Sum Guy, and I want to rock Tinkle Bells world!
OL: Say what now?
SG: Um nothing. Now Outlaw with all the recent controversy around you,and KPW,and you losing a non title match to Brett Michaels, and the fact that Toom has even said you be stripped of your title if you show up on KPW TV saying anything about EWT. What is going through your head. at *Outlaw rubs the back of his neck,and than looks at Sum Guy*
OL: Well first things first if Toom doesn't want EWT to reach higher levels thats fine, and I will respect that.
SG:And what about Brett
OL: Lets see the fact that he couldn't beat me fairly sums it all up pretty much. Hell that damn S*** of his had to grab my leg, and he had to pull on my trunks. It's kinda sad really cause I thought Brett was above those kind of cheap antics.
*Outlaw rubs his eyes*
Ol: At Freek Show though there will be no escape. Brett I promise you this. I will make you famous when I electrocute your a** in front of all of Disney Land!
*A kid bumps into Outlaw*
Kid: Hey your Woody from Toy.....
OL: No I am......
*The kid starts to tear up*
OL: Awww geeeezzz want an autograph kid?
*The kid perks up, and Outlaw signs the kids hat.*
SG: Wow that was really nic.........
*Outlaw grabs Sum Guy by the collar.*
OL: You tell any one that I did that,and I'll I'lll......
*Outlaw lets go*
OL: What the hell is the matter with me! That damn lose to Brett has messed with my head. I gotta go, and make some phone calls excuse me Sum Guy.
*Outlaw walks off leaving a confused Sum Guy standing alone.*
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Post by Gasoline: Gen. Tech Member on Feb 28, 2006 14:37:07 GMT -5
*Cut to California Adventure*
Mean Gene: I'm Mean Gene Okerlund, and joining me right now is "Big Daddy" Gasoline. Gas, you've had an impressive run so far in the #1 contender's tournament. You will be facing none other than Spaz in the semifinals. What are your thoughts?
Gas: It's like I said a few weeks back. I'm not stopping until I get to the EWT Heavweight title. I've made it this far and I'm not about to quit now. As far as Spaz goes, he's a heck of a competitor and I think he'll make a great champion someday. But that someday won't be this Sunday at Freek Show. *looks at camera* Spaz, you may be one of the greatest technical wrestlers of all time, but right now you're in the wrong place at the wrong time. The Gas-powered monster is plowing through the competition to get to the EWT title. I've already done it with Booker T, Bret Micheals, and A-Bomb. And you, Spaz, will have to be an unfortunate victim on my hit list.
MG: Strong words from the one they call Gasoline. Now let's send it back to ringside.
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Post by HMARK Center on Mar 1, 2006 1:51:56 GMT -5
<We are shown clips of a match in front of the Matterhorn attraction in Disneyland’s Magic Kingdom, as HitmanMark takes on DDP in an exhibition match.>
<Clips include Hmark locking DDP in with the Crucifixion submission and turning it around into a pin attempt. Another clip shows Hmark going for the double-jump moonsault, only to have DDP jump up and push him out of the ring, and into the crowd, where…HE IS CAUGHT BY JAY AND SILENT BOB!>
Jay: Jersey representin’, snootchie-bootchies! <Silent Bob holds up a “Clerks 2: Coming 2006!” sign>
<Cut to the finish of the match: DDP attempts to hit the Diamond Cutter out of the corner, but Hmark slips out, kick to the gut, and hit’s the Dragon’s Wings…but instead of going for the pin, he keeps the arms butterflied, floats over DDP, and locks in Cattle Mutilation! The crowd screams “TAP!”, and gets their wish in a matter of seconds. As Hmark gets his hand raised in victory, the cameras fade out…>
<…and fade in to a closeup of Hmark’s face. He sits in a dark place; his face, somewhat illuminated by a light on the camera, nevertheless sporadically becomes veiled in shadow, then exposed to light, then shadow once more. Colors also flash around him, but a pattern can not be deciphered. There are sounds: voices, music, noises…but all is too jumbled, too close together to sound like anything coherent, or human, for that matter.>
Hmark: And so it goes. Days, hours, minutes, seconds. As I sit here, I sit knowing that I’m about to go into perhaps the least predictable gimmick match in wrestling history, captaining a team that I’m not even sure can work as a well-oiled unit. That said, I can take solace in the fact that Trik Turner faces that exact same problem.
See, I know what goals my partners have going into this match. Bret Michaels, a man I teamed with in the first great match in the history of our board, the Board Games, 4 Latino Boardsmen Order vs. the nBo, the match so intense, fueled by so much hatred and resentment, that it single-handedly destroyed the board it was held on, and is now known as “The Night EZ-Board Went Down”…well, things have changed since then. We’ve come a long way. But I can tell his sights are set on regaining EWT gold, specifically the Tri-State title. In that respect, he knows he’s got Outlaw to focus on in this one.
<Hmark’s hair is suddenly blown back by a gust of wind; it lasts only a couple of seconds, and his face doesn’t change expression despite it.>
And the Nyrds…really, what needs to be said? Everyone saw for themselves what Joel and Mike endured at the hands of Ultimo and the Virgin. To say vengeance is on their minds…understatement of the century. Hell hath no fury like a Nyrd hazed.
But that leaves me. I didn’t ask to be captain of this team, although I accept the honor willingly. And I don’t have qualms with most of my opposition; granted, I’d love to see the Nyrds get their hands on those model boys as much as the next fan, but, really…is it my war to fight?
<lowers head and eyes a little bit> But then we come to Trik Turner. I said this before: Turner, costing me the EWT World Title, and causing me to fall on the back of my head from the top of a fifteen foot ladder at Toomi’s House Party isn’t specifically what angered me, nasty and painful though it might have been. I mean, hell, I’m a three time EWT World Champion; I love that belt, and still think of it as my own, but it’s not like the world didn't already know that I was worthy of it. Rather, what almost hurt me inside was that I knew Turner had been watching me for a long time. I knew that he likely modeled some of his style off of guys like me, like DSR, like mprox, the old Founding Fathers of the EWT; and I would have taken no greater joy than in being able to help make him a star by bringing out the best in him in the ring.
But that wasn’t good enough for Trik. He wanted a war at Magic, and he got one; one he couldn’t handle. He put up a hell of a fight, but he simply wasn’t ready yet. And now…now he’s gone off the deep end.
Once again, Trik, it’s not you costing me my spot in the #1 Contender’s tourny that has me upset; it’s what’s happened to you since Magic; the Gathering. I’ve said it before: being a vet, helping new blood ascend to the top is the closest thing you can feel to being a big brother, hell, a father in this business. I wanted that for you, Trik. I helped do that for Moxie and countless others, and all I wanted was to see you reach that next level, a level you’re perfectly capable of attaining.
<Another gust of wind. The colors are swirling now, and the sounds grow louder, more confusing.>
If anything, Trik, I’m disappointed. Not as much in you…as in myself. I’ve failed you, kid. I don’t know what caused you to snap like this, to emulate me like this, but it has to stop. You have all this talent, wasting away as your own mind does the very same, and I can't help but feel that I might at least be partly to blame. But Trik, if the only way to “cure” you is to strap you into that chair, and pull the lever…then it’s something I’ll have to do.
This isn’t about vengeance, Trik. This is about making things right. And, come Sunday, come Freek Show, things will be set right. The Nyrds WILL have their revenge, HBH will come that much closer to his shot at the gold, and I will do my damndest to save this kid from himself.
The Chamber of Horrors approaches, gentlemen. Days, hours, minutes, seconds. I might have a team with two tech geeks and a self-obsessed egotist…but we’re not just willing to fight; we must fight. The question is, gentlemen…are you willing to take the plunge? You’re apocalyspe is at hand, and the Chamber is Armageddon, the battleground. That’s not just the truth, gentlemen. It’s Gospel.
<Another HUGE gust of wind as it seems like Hmark is free falling; however, he lands, and a huge SPLASHing sound is heard, as a spray of water flies, soaking the camera lense in the process. Voices are now heard clearly.>
Mike Hodgson: WOOOO! You were right, Hmark, Splash Mountain is AWESOME when you throw your arms up!
Joel Nelson: This has been the best. day. EVER! Let’s ride again!
Mike: No! We’ve gotta get across the park to Space Mountain before the lines get huge!
Joel: But I wanted to hit up the Tomorrowland Speedway, dangit! Come on, Cap’n, tell him we’re riding the cars on the track!
Hmark: <covers face, sighs> Just a few more days…just a few more days…
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DQorDie
Bubba Ho-Tep
Believe in yourself & ROCK N ROLL!!!
Posts: 635
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Post by DQorDie on Mar 1, 2006 2:01:52 GMT -5
Somewhere in the nether regions of the EWT Locker Rooms there is utter silence in the PsychaDeli camp as Paraslice’s door is locked shut. In the “living room” area is Ol’ King Cold Cuts propped up in a Lazee Boy Chair, still in his full body cast from the Paul Podanski Power Press to the concrete, watching reruns of Sanford & Son. Also in the room is Senor Splash & Delicious Dick Slater sitting side by side watching along. The volume on the TV is turned down low, but all can still hear Redd Foxx’s classic catchlines. Senor Splash scratches his mask increasingly as something seems wrong.
Delicious Dick: *whispering*Hey, what’s the matter?
Senor Splash: *whispering* Ugh, I tink I got lice from one of dose Mickey de Mouse hats. Not only do rats infest my kitchen y case, but now they have ruined mi mascara! *scratches his head & a patch of his mask falls off with some of his hair!* Aye caramba!
DD: *whispering* Tell me about it. Mrs. P looks like she’s about to pop! Looks like she’s got Thanksgiving suppa ready with two birds in the oven with all the trimmin’s!
SS: *whispering* Si, but what about Paraslice? He’s been giving me de heebee jeebees. Ever since he won dat tool belt y Wilson’s accident he hasn’t been the same.
Fred Sanford on the TV: Hey Ester, how bout I rub yo face in some cookie dough & make gorilla cookies?
Aunt Ester on the TV: You fish-eyed foul!
DD: *chuckling & still whispering* Yeah! Ever since the Salami Swami has been getting him into that transcendental meat mediation hoo-haw he’s been making us turn our TV down & whispering all the time. And for what? So he can merge with interdimensional meat on the pastramanal plane? Pffft.
SS: *whispering* Si, I liked it better when his obsession with his family y meat wasn’t so intense....especially when he let me como de moldy meat that we threw out.
DD: *whispering* Yeah, & when he let me beat the meat & let me soak my feet in the onion soup before we put it out. Man.....
Out bursting from Paraslice’s room comes Paraslice completely buck naked....except for a pair of balony underwear.
Paraslice: WILSON HAS SENT ME A VISION!!!!
SS: ?Por que? Wilson is dying in Detroit!
Paraslice: HE TOLD ME........MEAT MUST LEARN HOW TO HUNT!!!!!
DD: Now wait a second, boss. Meat must learn how to hunt? What kind of crap is that?
Paraslice: HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO YOUR WORLD HUSKYWEIGHT VICE PRESIDENT IN SUCH A MANNER!!!!!!!
Splash & Dick: Vice President?!?!?!
Paraslice: YES!!!! VICE PRESIDENT.....DICK CHUTNEY! NOW!!!! WE MUST INITIATE OUR PLAN!!!! Prepare my skin hat & meat robe....NOW!!!!
Druid chanting can be heard as Delicious Dick & Splash scatter to get Paraslice’s meat robe & skin hat.
We now move back to the arena as Maxx Payne is already in the ring ready for action & his chance at leathery gold. We go to the ring announcer in the middle of the ring as the bell is rung to get everyone’s attention.
Ring Announcer: This match is scheduled for one fall to be contested under Toolshed Division Rules & it IS for the EWT Toolshed Championship!!! Currently in the ring from Parts Unknown....He is.....MAXX PAAAAAYNE!!!!
Payne gives the Devil horns to his adoring fans as there is silence amongst the park patrons/EWT fans.
“White Room” by Creme begins playing building up to the rockin’ part. Maxx Payne focuses on the entryway for his opponent. The announcer continues to make the announcement as we wait for Paraslice.
RA: And his oppo.....
Loud gunshots are heard as Maxx Payne falls to the mat in agony. What the hell could have caused this? WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON!??!?!?!?!
IT WAS PARASLICE!!!!
Paraslice is now in the camera’s view holding a pellet gun wearing a disgusting yet ridiculous looking meat robe & skin mat fashioned to look like a pope hat! What could all of this mean?!?!?
Paraslice knocks down the ref who calls for the bell. Paraslice lays one foot down on Payne holding up his gun & the EWT Toolshed Division as the ref makes the count!
Referee: 1! 2! 3!! RING IT!!!
RA: *bell rings* The winner of this match & STILL EWT Toolshed Champioooon..........PARASLICE!!!!
Immediately Maxx Payne is aided by EMTs as EWT officials & the PsychaDeli themselves grab the gun away from Slice as he is quickly ushered off. The camera closes in on him as he is being carried away.
Paraslice: MEAT WILL RUE THE DAY PODANSKI!!! MEAT WILL RUE THE DAY!!!!!!
Immediately we are ushered to a commercial for A-Bomb Brillo Pads.
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Post by Virus aka Captain No-Nuts on Mar 1, 2006 3:12:57 GMT -5
Lillian: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is a #1 Contender's Tournament Semi-Final match!
JR: Well, our next match up should be a barn-burner, King! Two of the biggest men in the EWT today go head to head for a shot at advancing to the Triple Threat final, where the winner will face Limey at Freek Show for the EWT heavyweight championship!
King: You said it JR, I hope these guys don't break our ring with all that weight!
(Mr. Big's theme music begins to play, and the crowd boos as Mr. Big begins to make his way down to the ring.)
Lillian: Introducing first, he is over 7 feet tall and weighs in at 400 pounds... MR... BIG!
(Big gets into the ring, and Curly Long makes a show of swinging around the large mallet from earlier. He loses control of the mallet and goes into a large spin, then stumbles out of the ring as the crowd laughs at the VLB's misfortune.)
JR: That mallet may be too much for Curly Long to handle, King!
King: Yeah, if that happens during the match he might hit his own man!
(Heaven's a Lie blasts onto the PA system as Virus makes his way down to the ring.)
Lillian: And his opponent, he weighs in at 322 pounds, he is the man they call VIRUS!
(Virus gets a running jump onto the apron, then springs over the top rope.)
JR: Virus is going to have to emphasize his athletic ability here if he wants to beat Mr. Big! He can't outmuscle Mr. Big like he can most other opponents, King!
(King goes to respond, but then Pomp and Circumstance begins to play. Principal Pain comes out from under the CrapTron to massive boos, and Virus turns to look at the unwanted disturbance. Pain has a clipboard in his hands and is looking ready to take notes on the match.)
King: What business does Pain have out here?
JR: This is the second week in a row Pain has observed Virus's matches... what does Pain want with him?
(Virus stares questioningly at Pain, but in his confusion has forgotten about Mr. Big. Big taps Virus on the shoulder, and Virus turns back around into a giant knife-edge chop. The crowd "WOO!"s as the referee calls for the bell.)
DING DING DING!
Big drags Virus back to the center of the ring, then sizes Virus up for another chop. Big goes for another knife edge, but Virus ducks and hits a massive chop of his own, milking another "WOO!" from the audience. Big is relatively unfazed, however, and hits another knife-edge. Virus stumbles back, then hits another knife-edge of his own.
JR: A battle of chops to start this one off... Virus doesn't want to take too many of those frying-pan like hands of Mr. Big to the chest, though!
Virus has the upper-hand, and begins to ruthlessly and quickly knife-edge Mr. Big repeatedly. The crowd "WOO!"s to each chop, and finally Mr. Big is up against the rope. Curly is distraught, but Mr. Big boots Virus in the stomach and starts chopping Virus back across the ring. Virus can't keep up, and finally it's Virus with his back against the proverbial wall. Mr. Big turns to Curly at the opposite side of the ring, and Curly smiles maliciously and begins making a show of "warming up" the mallet.
JR: Oh no, this isn't good! Long getting that mallet ready!
King: This is it, JR! Virus is going to get clocked!
Curly closes his eyes as Mr. Big grabs Virus and begins to whip him back across the ring... There's a slight pause and then a massive gasp from the audience as....
... CURLY CLOCKS MR. BIG RIGHT IN THE FOREHEAD WITH THE MALLET! Virus had managed to reverse the Irish Whip and drop toe hold Big onto the middle rope! Big's large frame leans on the middle rope. Big is out cold, and Curly Long is frantically trying to revive him! Virus smirks to the crowd, making a point to not look at the still-note-taking Pain, then bounces off the ropes and baseball slides into Big's back! Big rolls out of the ring and lands right on Curly Long! The referee begins to count...
1!...
2!...
Virus looks like he's about to go outside and drag Big back into the ring, but thinks better of it, tapping his forehead smartly and turning back to the center of the ring.
JR: Smart move by Virus here... Big doesn't look to be getting up any time soon, so why waste your energy trying to drag him back into the ring? Just take the countout victory and get ready for the finals!
3!...
4!...
Curly is still struggling, a pair of midget arms flailing uselessly and trying to get the gigantic weight off of him.
5!...
The crowd is laughing openly at the former GM's plight, as he finally manages to get one leg free. Curly begins to tug with all his might at the other leg.
6!...
Curly is free, and starts trying to wake Big up. Big's not going anywhere, and Virus begins to smoke an imaginary cigar in the ring.
7!....
Big is starting to stir slowly, but it may be too late to do anything now...
8!...
Big's on one knee, and Curly is egging him on enthusiastically, tugging with all his might at the big man's cufflink.
9!...
But it's not to be, as Big falls back over and squashes Curly Long again. We can hear muffled cursing from the former EWT GM as the referee raises his hands one final time...
10!
DING DING DING!
Lillian: Here is your winner, by countout, VIRUS!
(Virus, still not looking at Principal Pain, plays to the crowd, making belt motions with his hands. Ring technicians aid Curly Long in getting the massive body of Mr. Big off of his midget frame, and Principal Pain claps sardonically.)
JR: Mr. Big's strategy misfires spectacularly and Virus advances to the finals by a count-out victory. But even with all of these things looking up for Virus, the looming question of Principal Pain's continued monitoring has got to be weighing heavily on Virus, King!
King: Regardless of whether or not Virus wins this tournament, I think the answer to that question waits for us at Freek Show, JR!
(We fade to commercial as Virus finally spares a confused and slightly annoyed glance at Principal Pain.)
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Doomrider
Hank Scorpio
I wanna bang Marla.
Posts: 6,058
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Post by Doomrider on Mar 1, 2006 13:37:33 GMT -5
-=Scene=- Team 3D is waiting in the ring as their music begins to simmer. “Sex Machine” by the U.S. Bombs begins to play over the PA System as Julio Gagcia announces Senor Splash and “Delicious” Dick make their way to the ring. They’re in their usual attire…and…as usual…are grossing out the fans that are close enough to get a look or smell of them. They make their way into the ring and go immediately into it with the Du…Team 3D. Splash and Brother Ray are duking it out while Dick and Brother Devon lock up. Dick irish whips Devon into the ropes and hits him with a lariat that would make Stan Hansen proud. Meanwhile Senor Splash has just climbed the turnbuckle over Brother Ray and is wailing on his head. For once, Bend Over and Say AHHHHH look like a real tag team! Dick picked up Devon and has him in the opposite turnbuckle. Splash and Dick signals to whip Team 3D into each other as the crowd is going nuts. As soon as Ray and Devon hit each other, the lights go out! Some very generic patriotic music begins to play. The lights return with Team 3D nowhere to be found and a mysterious luchador with a steel chair. The man is wearing a nice suit with an American flag tie and a red, white, and blue mask. His mask cuts off around the forehead so you can see his perfect TV anchorman haircut. Senor Splash eyes up the other luchador, falls back in shock, and rolls back out of the ring as if he’s seen a ghost! The mystery luchador clock Slater with the steel chair. He pummels The now bleeding Slater in the stomach with the end of the chair. Slater lays there helpless as this mystery man keeps pummeling him. Senor Splash is on the ramp way shuddering and sweating in fright. The man finally kicks Slater out of the ring and asks for a microphone. Julio Gagcia hands it to him as the patriotic music dies down.
-=Mystery Man=- Look at you Splash…you’re pathetic! You’re still the groveling mess I remember when I left for Harvard all those years ago! Mother was right! You may have been her favorite, but I was the one that was going places and doing things with my life! Get in this ring and great your brother with open arms!
-=Scene=- Senor Splash, too afraid to confront his brother, heads for the hills. He stumbles up the ramp way and backstage. Splash’s so far unnamed brother laughs into the microphone and signals for the crowd to simmer.
-=Mystery Man=- I’m sorry, I’m sorry…where are my manners. Ladies and gentlemen…I am Senor Sensible…Senor Splash’s older brother. I’m sure none of you have heard of me because Splash is embarrassed to mention me. It tends to make him feel pretty low. You see, we lived in the Midwest growing up. While Splash was behind the monkey bars in seventh grade getting drunk on Tequila and high on paint thinner…I was studying. I read possibly the greatest book ever written…the Bible…as well as the memoirs of some of our greatest leaders such as Ronald Reagan and George Bush Sr. I studied through high school and received a full scholarship to Harvard where I studied political science and several foreign languages. I graduated and went on to become governor from the great Republican state of Missouri! While Senor Splash was bedding with promiscuous women and alcohol, I laid down with my lord, Jesus Christ and the glorious Republican party! And I know…since all of you in here and supporters of this great country…want me to utilize the powers of the Lord to rid the world of this alcoholic sack of liberal waste! Soon all of you will witness the end of Senor Splash! Now before I go, I’d like all of you to bow your heads and pray for my strength…my power…and may the lord guide me to victory…as well as guide our fearless leader…George W. Bush…to victory and making more excellent choices for this prosperous, wealthy, strong-willed United States of Busi.…America! Remember America…it’s the SENSIBLE thing to do!
-=Scene=- With that, Senor Sensible places the microphone down on the mat. He rises again and waves at the crowd with big smiles as he receives an Titanic sized shipload of heel heat. From the crowd. He gets out of the ring and continues to wave up the ramp way as we fade to a Maelstrom Shower Cap commercial.
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,391
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Mar 1, 2006 14:48:00 GMT -5
Cut to the Disney Land EWT Arena where Tom Zenk is already in the ring.
"Stairway To Heaven" blast throughout the arena as Scott Andrews comes out with the Reverand Slick.
Lillian Garcia: And his opponent, from the island of Hokkaido in Japan, being accompanied by the Reverand Slick, "The Risen Devil" Scott Andrews!
Zenk jumps Andrews at the bell, hitting him with an Axe Bomber and pummeling him in the corner. Andrews responds with a vicious punch to the head that knocks him down. Zenk quickly gets back up, but is met with a brutal Mafia Kick to the head. Zenk is busted open right now but manages to get back up and dodges an Axe Kick and rolls up Andrews!
1...
2.......Kick out. Andrews gets back up as the "Z" man climbs the turnbuckle, getting ready to jump. Zenk goes for the crossbody that Randy Orton used when he barely started in the WWE, but Andrews catches him in mid-air and hits the Last Call. Zenk is bleeding profusely now, and Andrews mercifully signals for the end. Andrews grabs Zenk and tosses him in the air, and catches him with a thunderous powerbomb. Andrews then locks in the Kokina Clutch and Zenk passes out.
Lillian Garcia: Here is your winner, Scott Andrews!
Andrews lets go of the hold, looking at Zenk. He merely holds up one finger, then leves the ring with Slick.
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,391
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Mar 1, 2006 18:29:34 GMT -5
Cut to Bolt Bacana getting ready for his match when...
"I need to talk to you Bolt."
Bolt turns around and sees a figure that the camera can't show.
"What the hell do you want?"
"What used to be. C'mon, don't tell me you don't miss those days."
B:"I do, but that's the past. I'm a champion now. And what about you?"
Mysterious Man: "You know what's up with me. Look, I need help. So can I count on you or not?"
B:" I'll think about it. But remember, no guarentees."
Bolt leaves as we here the mysterious man's voice.
"I'll make sure of it."
-Who could that be?-
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,391
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Mar 1, 2006 18:54:41 GMT -5
Howard Finkel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the OX Division Championship!
Broken Wings plays as Crauswell comes out
Fink: First, making his way to the ring, weighing in at 272 Pounds. He is Crauswell!
Jesus Walks hits as Bolt Bacana comes out to a hyooge pop.
Fink: And his opponent, from Chicago, IL, weighing in at 242 lbs. He is the current OX Division Champion, Bolt! Bacana!
-Match Starts- Both men stare each other down across the ring. Bolt is next to the right hand side ropes with Crauswell against the left hand side ropes. Both men lock up and Bolt gets locked in a headlock by Crauswell. Crauswell wrenches down on the neck of Bolt as Bolt desperately tries to throw Crauswell off of him. Bolt then throws Crauswell to the far side ropes. Crauswell then ducks a Bolt clothesline attempt and hits the near side ropes. Crauswell then grabs the left arm of Bolt and goes to irish whip him to the far side ropes but pulls him back and gets him in the headlock once again. After somemore struggling from Bolt he just about musters the strength to lift Crauswell and drop him with a Belly to Back suplex! Both men slowly gets back to a verticle suplex and Crauswell attempts to nail Bolt with a right hand hook but Bolt blocks him with his forearm and kicks him in the gut. Bolt then spikes Crauswell on his head with a devistating suplex!!! Bolt then quickly covers Crauswell 1...
2...
thr NO! Crauswell kicks out and Bolt drags Crauswell to his feet. Bolt then throws Crauswell over the near side top rope and Crauswell hits the floor. Crauswell slowly gets to his feet as Bolt climbs the near right hand side turnbuckle. Bolt then flies off the top rope and hits a SSP Hurricanrana on Crauswell knocking him to the concrete.
Later in this Title Match Bolt still has Crauswell out on the floor and the referee is being leniant with Count Out's as Bolt slams Crauswell back first into the railing. DEAMON COHLN comes out and stands by ringside, observing the match. Bolt then lifts Crauswell back to his feet and whips him towards the near left hand side steel post but Crauswell counters and sends Bolt face first into the steel post! Crauswell gets Bolt to his feet and throws him into the ring. Crauswell then levels Bolt with an elbow drop across the neck and covers him
1...
2...
thr NO! Bolt kicks out! Crauswell then gets Bolt in the near left hand corner and starts to slam his knee into the gut of Bolt several times. Crauswell then lifts Bolt up in a front face lock and drops him on the near left hand top turnbuckle. Crauswell then climbs up to the top rope with Bolt and both men are sent crashing to the canvas as Crauswell nails Boltt with a superplex! Crauswell slowly crawls over to Botl and gets his right arm across the chest. The referee counts the pinfall
1...
2...
thr NO! Bolt kicks out! Crauswell pulls Bolt up to his feet and whips him to the far side ropes. Crauswell then puts his head down for a backdrop but Bolt counters and slams Crauswell face first into his knee. Crauswell springs to a verticle position and manages to duck a clothesline and locks in the Cross Face Gryphon Wing!!! Bolt realizes the move he's in and tries desperately treis to get out, trying to reach the ropes. Crauswell applies pressure even more as Bolt screams in pain. Bolt is still struggling, and manages to connect with a hard righht elbow right to the ribs, followed by three more, breaking the hold. Bolt is trying to get up as Crauswell sneaks up behind him, signaling for the end. Bolt turns around and gets hit with the Beak Buste-NO! Bolt locked in From Dusk Till Dawn! Dusk Till Dawn locked in!!! Crauswell tries to get out, but Bolot takes him down and keeps him grounded until Crauswell taps out as Deamon leaves, smirking.
Fink: Here is your winner, Bolt! Bacana!
Bolt gets to his feet, grabbing his OX Title and raises it high in the air. Bolt then asks for a microphone.
" Now....A-Bomb!... Stieve Richards!.......Virus!... This title.....will stay with the new champ.....Bolt!.....Bacana! And I dare you....to try....and take...MY TITLE AWAY FROM ME!"
"Jesus Walks" hits as Bolt Bacana exits the ring to cheers.
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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on Mar 1, 2006 20:35:52 GMT -5
*Cut to the Haunted Mansion*
Coach: Joining me right now is the Heartbreak Hitman Bret Michaels, who of course is accompanied by the lovely "Sensational" Cherry. Bret, word is going around that The Outlaw Chris James is not happy with the end of the match you two had earlier---
HBH: You know what? He can cry all he wants, but it still won't change a thing. I told everyone that was going to prove that I was the better man, and that's exactly what I did. And since I beat him, I guess that would make me the #1 contender for the Tri-State title, wouldn't it? But I'll worry about that after Freek Show, when I win the Chamber of Horrors match. And since I'm here Coach, I would like to take this time to announce a big event happening soon.
Coach: Now I know when you say something big is going to happen, you usually deliver. So what's the even going to be.
HBH: Coach, it's going to be an event of epic proportions. It's something that hasn't happened in quite some. Coming soon, right here at Disneyland, it will be the return of The Heartbreak Hotel!
Coach: Wow, that IS big! I for one can't wait for The Heartbreak Hotel's return. Now let's send things back to ringside.
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Post by Joel, Mike, Currently...? on Mar 1, 2006 22:34:41 GMT -5
"Born to Be Wild" hits, and Cactus Jack walks out, and Mikey Whipwreck follows behind him, not looking very excited about it. Mikey actually tries to escape at one point, but Cactus catches him and drags him down to the ring.
It's all about the Pentiums, baby...
Joel and Mike hip hop their way out to their expected pop, and then stand on either side at the top of the stage, and do the Too Cool "Come on Down" move, and HMark begins to walk down. He looks at either Nyrd, shakes his head, and begins to follow them down, not happy about being there himself. Joel and Mike add a new element to their entrance today, as they both travel to corners opposite eachother, and slingshot-roll into the ring. But the dancing part, that's been a part of it for a long time. Mike steps to the middle of the ring, and hits the Windmill, and gets back up the throw up the Nyrd signal with Joel. Mike turns around to be Cactus Clotheslined by Cactus Jack over the ropes. Joel then takes out Mikey with a spinning heel kick, and they roll out of the ring underneath the ropes. HMark isn't clear on what he should do about it, so he takes a seat at ringside.
Mike is whipped over the guard rails by Cactus, but before he can follow him in, Mike hilo's back over the rail and takes Jack down with him. They roll around on the ground, and finally, Mike gets to his feet. He climbs up to the apron, but Cactus grabs him by the foot, and yanks him down. Mike slams into the apron on the way down. Jack then russian leg sweeps Mike into the rails, and throws him over. He follows him in. Meanwhile, Joel is ducking punches from Mikey left and right. Finally, Joel blocks a punch, and leaps up to enziguri him. Mikey catches himself on the rails, and Joel hops up to the apron. Joel moonsaults back, but Mikey moves, and Joel lands on the rails. Mikey pushes him into the crowd, and follows him in. Joel is busy trying to hold his ribs, so Mikey gets brave and begins to unleash punches on Joel.
Mike has managed to fight back, as he and Cactus trade punches through the crowd. Mike and Cactus reach a wall, and up above is a balcony. Mike boots Cactus in the stomach, and steps up onto his back. He reaches up for the balcony, and begins to climb. Fans actually reach down and help him up. Once up to the edge of the balcony, Mike jumps back down, in a PHOENIX SPLASH, and lands on Jack crossbody style. Joel is beginning to get over his ribs, as he and Mikey battle for a while. Mikey eventually whips Joel into a row of chairs, sending them all scattering across the floor, and Joel holding back onto his injured ribs again. Mike grabs a chair, and waits for Joel to get up, and raises it above his head. Joel drops down and drop toe holds Mikey. Mikey falls forward, and slams his head into the chair. Joel gets up, and it grabbed by the Handsome Boy Modeling School!
Chocula and Billy grabs Joel, and drag him through the crowd, and to the rails. They both lift Joel up, and drop him across the rails on his injured ribs. They push him off the rails, and jump over with him. They roll him into the ring, and, unaware that HMark is entering the ring behind them, begin to pummel the hell out of Joel. Finally, through the crowds raising cheers, they turn around, and see HMark, ready to strike.
They both run at HMark, and HMark answers by reversing Chocula's punch with an armbar, and kicks Billy's leg out from under him. Before Billy can retaliate to help out Chcula, Mike slingshots in and lands a DDT on him in one fluid motion. Mike helps Joel to his feet, and before they can celebrate or anything, Trik Turner runs out, and HMark releases his armbar, and gets up to face him. They both begin to brawl, and HMark tackles Turner through the ropes, and they continue their battle at ringside. Billy and Chocula head out of the ring to help their comrade, and Joel follows them to fight alongside HMark. Mike is on his feet, and he leans on the ropes, watching the battle at ringside. As soon as he gets the slightest hint that his friends (HMark is his friend?) he runs to the opposite ropes, and comes back to hit a no-hands hilo over the top, toppling over the large brawl. A huge chant of HOLY S***, HOLY S*** begins, and security is finally brought in to break things up.
Billy, Chocula, HMark, and Trik are forced to the back, and the Nyrds are told to get back in the ring. Mikey is rolling back into the ring, and the Nyrds roll in to meet him. They quickly hit the Revenge of the Nyrds on him. They cover him, but Cactus Jack breaks up the pin at two. Jack hits a double arm DDT on Mike, but Joel breaks it up before they reach three. Joel and Mike both boot Cactus Jack in the stomach, and each both grab an arm, and do some kind of Double Arm DDT variation. Joel rolls Cactus over, but Mikey breaks up the count at two. Joel takes him out with a short hurricanrana, and he and Mike do a quick "you go this way, I'll go that way" routine, with Mike going after Cactus, and Joel going after Mikey.
Mike hurricanranas Cactus over the top, much like Cactus took Mike over the top to begin to match. They ignite a brawl at ringside, and Joel takes care of Mikey on the inside. Joel hits the Bravestarr Clash on Mikey, and the ref counts to three, ending the match. Mike slips back in, and they dance to celebrate, but then Joel calls for a mic.
Joel: Handsome Boys...don't think you won't be getting away with flushing my head like that, because you sure as hell won't be. Because we've got plans for you, oh yes. Hell hath no fury like a Nyrd hazed.
Joel throws down the mic, and Mike picks it up as Joel walks off.
Mike: Uh, nothing reall to add to that, but KNOCK 'IM OUT THE BOX LUKE, KNOCK 'IM OUT, KNOCK 'IM OUT THE BOX LUKE, KNOCK 'IM
Joel grabs Mike, and drags him out of the ring, and they make their way to the back, and YOU my friends make your way to a commercial.
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Deamon Cohln
Don Corleone
AND THAT'S THE GODDAMN TRUTH!
Posts: 1,962
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Post by Deamon Cohln on Mar 1, 2006 23:48:40 GMT -5
*The Cohlns and Heather Eastman are standing backstage as Sum Guy gets ready ton interview them. He doesn’t seem scared this time. It must be due to the important questions he has this week.*
Sum Guy: Hi! I’m Sum Guy and I have lettuce in my pants! *All the heels stare at him* What?
Heather: Is this what EWT is like?
Deamon: Pretty much.
Sum Guy: Anyway, My first question if for Sever, what do you think about Scott Andrews and his new manager Reverend Slick?
Sever: *grabs the mic from Sum* You won’t be needing this. I’m gonna talk straight to this piece of crap. Scott. You think you can attack me after a match and beat me. No, you have to do more than that. You have to either knock me out or kill me. I am the new Hardcore Legend. You are just some guy claiming he is a “Rising Devil” and hangs around some phony man of the cloth. I am legit, you are just some fake, fraud, lousy clone of a wrestler. That’s why you don’t stand a chance in this Flaming Tables match. Why? Because most likely the other type of flaming not intended in the stipulation. You wan to mess with me, even with your little clique, you can not win. And now, Jacola with a last word. *hands mic to Jacola*
Jacola: umm…….pudding?
Deamon:*grabs the mic* Did you hit your head? Anyway, your next question is about this little fight between groups huh? *Sum nods* Yeah, well have a few things to say about this, EN you want to lead this little group into combat with my elite *looks at Jacola* well, mostly elite, group of troops? We will destroy you in just a few matches, including the Tables match and our little scuffle at Freek Show. I will end up beating you and go on to better things. Speaking of which, you wanna know why I was out in Bolt Bacana’s title match huh? *Sum nods again* Well, I’m just going to say that I’m just sizing up the competition. You do know after I’m done with EN here I’m coming after that title Bolt. You know I am and you’re scared about it. And that’s the goddamn truth. Take him out Jacola.
Sum: What? *Jacola boots Sum* AHHH!!
Jacola: Don’t bleed, it makes you look weak.
*The Cohlns exit leaving Sum in a bloody heap.*
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Mar 2, 2006 3:30:03 GMT -5
Bobby Cruiz: The following contest is scheduled for 1 fall & is a Semi-Final match of the No.1 Contender’s Tournament!
*Party Starter hits & Spaz appears he is looking confident & he slaps hands with the fans as he heads to the ring. He even gives his Spaz = Ratings shirt to a kid in the front row.*
BC: Introducing first, from Sydney, Australia, weighing in at 216 lbs he is Spaz!
*Spaz rolls into the ring & puts his game face on. Gasoline’s music hits & the big guy comes out to a good pop.*
BC: And his opponent, standing 6’ 11” & weighing in at 323 lbs he is Gasoline!
*Gas heads to the ring & rolls in he looks all business. The two men shake hands & the ref calls for the bell. They lock up & Gas overpowers Spaz, he grabs his arm & whips him off the ropes & hits a big clothesline. Spaz’s heads bounces hard off the mat. Gas tries a cover.*
1 2 NO!
*Spaz kicks out. Gas pulls him to his feet & nails a Sidewalk Slam. Spaz is reeling & he rolls out of the ring. He takes a deep breath & rolls back in. Gas wants to press his advantage & he whips Spaz off the ropes again. Spaz ducks the clothesline this time & is able to hit a Neckbreaker on Gas. Spaz is quick to try & lock on the Sydney Cloverleaf but Gas is able to kick Spaz away. Spaz then climbs to the top & nails a Leg Drop across Gas’ throat. He tries a cover.*
1 2 NO!
*Gas powers out. Spaz tries to lift Gas to his feet but Gas fights out with an elbow to Spaz’s gut. He then stands & chokeslams Spaz! Gas hooks the leg.*
1 2 ROPEBREAK!!
*Spaz is able to get his foot up. Gas stands & pulls a lifeless Spaz to his feet. Spaz is playing possum & out of nowhere he hits a Down Under DDT! Spaz then heads to the corner & leaps off looking for a Shooting Star Press but Gas gets his knee up & it catches Spaz in the gut. Spaz reels from the impact & Gas slowly gets to his feet. He lifts Spaz to his feet he then nails him with a Backbreaker. Spaz is screaming in pain & Gas tries a cover.*
1 2 NO!
*Somehow Spaz is able to kick out. He is not in good shape as Gas pulls him to his feet. Gas nails Spaz with another Backbreaker. This time Gas doesn’t go for the cover. He picks Spaz up off the ground & looks to nail him with the Jackknife Powerbomb! But Spaz punches Gas in the head a few times & then is able to hit a Tornado DDT! Both men are down & the ref starts a 10 count.*
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
*Spaz is up & he pulls Gas to his feet. Spaz hits a German Suplex, followed by a 2nd & a 3rd. Spaz gets up & he is confident now. He lifts Gas to his feet & tries to whip him off the ropes but Gas is too strong, he hits Spaz with a Shortarm Clothesline. Gas is still dazed & isn’t able to capitalise he drops to the mat as well & the ref starts another 10 count.*
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
*Both men are up & trading blows, Gas sends Spaz reeling with a big right hand. Gas then kicks Spaz in the gut looking for the Jackknife again. But Spaz is blocking Gas’ attempts to lift him. Gas then settles for clubbing blows to Spaz’s back sending Spaz down to the mat. Gas signals he has had enough & he lifts Spaz up. He tries to set him up for the Jackknife but Spaz is playing possum & he elbows Gas in the face. Gas lets go & gives Spaz just enough of an opening to nail Gas with The Shockwave out of nowhere! Spaz is feeling the effects of the beating & he takes some time to hook the leg.*
1 2 3!
BC: Here is your winner Spaz!
*Party Starter hits & Spaz rises, he then helps Gas to his feet & the two men shake hands. Gas rolls out of the ring & heads to the back. The ref raises Spaz’s hand in victory as we cut to commercial.*
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