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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on Aug 24, 2005 14:55:58 GMT -5
*HBH sees the invitation for the Royal Pain in the Ass Rumble, puts his name in there, and walks off*
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ape
Unicron
Aunt Blabby Tells All.
bea wants all you sweathogs to take a look at what a REAL man is supposed to look like
Posts: 3,223
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Post by ape on Aug 24, 2005 18:29:23 GMT -5
*the camera fades into what looks to be a sewer...it's very grimey and dark. ape is standing there with a female doll in his hands. the doll looks as if it's been in an attic for a while, as some of the paint has chipped off her face, and an eye is missing. ape is gently running his hands through what is left of the doll's hair. after a few moments, he looks up into the camera.*
....oceanic.....you're a sweet young girl.....i was sweet once....i was loved.....people actually loved me....my mommy, who abandoned me....she came back to her son....it was all because i was the ewt world heavyweight champion....i was a winner....hehe....and now...i'm a loser.....the people hate me.....my mommy left me again....hehe and now i have a little girl.....threatening to hurt me.....you know how to stop a heart?....hehe that's fine....i lost my heart a long time ago....hehe...it's very easy to lose it....when you deal with the hatred i've had to deal with.....and now...i'd like to share that hatred with you....and everybody else......it's adorable....that you think you can stop me....
*psychoapeguy slowly raises the doll above his head and looks the doll in the eye....then in an instant, lowers the doll, clamps his teeth around it's skull and rips the head off of the doll. he then spits the head off to the side and hugs the remaining part of the doll close to his heart.*
.....nobody......nobody can stop me now....i don't care if i'm a loser....i don't care if i'm a winner....i don't care if you kill me.....hehe....or if i kill you....all i want to do....is to do what my mommy taught me....to share.....share my hatred....share my pain......let me share it with you, oceanic.....let me use you as an example.....let me show mr. bischoff....what he has in store for him....when i finally get my hands around his cocky little neck.....let me show him....be a good.....little girl.....hehe....
*psychoapeguy quietly laughs to himself. after a few moments he begins to shreak and scream. the sounds echo off the walls as the ape quickly drops down into the fetal position, hugging the headless doll closely. he begins to quietly mumble to himself as the camera fades to black.*
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Post by Chrysta on Aug 24, 2005 19:13:48 GMT -5
*Chrysta is walking backstage,examining the Arena.She then notices the Rumble contract,and decides to sign it.After she signs,she looks to the side expressing nothing.*
Chrysta:It won't matter much to me.Whether I win or lose,it will still be a hollow victory...
*Chrysta walks off.Fade to black*
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Post by Moxie loves Natalie on Aug 24, 2005 20:50:40 GMT -5
<The Bass licks of Megadeth's "Peace Sells" begin over the loudspeaker, and with some loud Fireworks, "The Peacebringer" Carl Guerrero makes his way out to the ring. He's not wearing his normal white suit this time, but some tights-shorts and his wrestling gear.
He makes his way into the ring, his hands behind his back, not shaking hands with the fans.
Carl is handed the Microphone from the Fink, and is given some time.>
CG: Well, Well, Well... Greetings and Buen Dia, EWT Arena! "The Peacebringer" has a desperate need to talk to you all about what happened last week. Por Favor, roll the footage.
<Footage airs of Simon Dean pinning Carl with Carl screaming to pin him.
The fans boo in disgust, expecting a high caliber match between both light heavyweights>
CG: Calmate, Calmate mi Amigos! My friends... You, and several superstars, notgoingtomentionanynamesmikeragnal in the back must be asking "Why, Carl, Why?" Well, to be honest, I needed to show to all the rabid as all heck wrestlers in the back, that no matter what, it's okay to be on your back. I mean, ask Mia!
<The fans scorn at Carl for giving a potshot on Mia>
But seriously Amigos, I did that so you could understand that it takes time to create Peace. And, that I'm creating Peace for you... the fans!
<The fans boo loudly again>
Don't take it the wrong way, I won't be a buzzkill!
<The crowd starts to chant "Buzz--Kill..... Buzz---Kill....">
Oh amigos, relax. I'm here representing you! In a world of Masters of Elemental Disaster, Oversensitive Ice Queens, and an Arsehole who thinks he's the greatest thing since.... since... the Treaty of Versailles! I'm only here to present a promise. A promise that no matter what, I will bring peace to the EWT. In ANY way, I need to.
Now, let's have that dissident... no..... betrayer.... no..... renegade! Yeah, Renegade come out!"
<Carl puts the mic down, and stands in his corner, awaiting the entrance of Renegade.
The Fink announces the Renegade, but alas, no Renegade.
Carl grabs the microphone...>
CG: What the crap is this!? Where's the Renegade?!
<The cameras in the back are shown on the Toomi-tron... and they show the Renegade laid out, with blood coming from the back of his head.>
CG: What a Travesty! It looks like Renegade was taken out in the back! Oh, how horrible....
<Carl kinda smirks>
CG: One more... for the Good guy! Looks like peace is upheld for another day! That mi Amigos, is great! Now, remember... Goodwill and Good Day!
<Carl drops the mic and rolls out of the ring, and walks to the back, a smile on his face, as we fade to black.>
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Aug 24, 2005 21:04:07 GMT -5
*The Ragnals are watching on,once again in shock.*
MIKE:I.DON'T.BELIEVE THIS!
JOE:Easy,bro.
MIKE:NO!This guy had to have beaten the Renegade up to avoid wrestling.He MUST have!
LINDA:There's no way that-
MIKE:He had to have.
JOE:Chill!Toomi said if he doesn't wrestle,he'll be kicked out of here.
MIKE:Well,you know what?SCREW THAT!
*Mike heads out of the locker room.*
MIKE:C'mon,Joe.We're gonna take our match,and we're also gonna address the Carl situation.
JOE:Hey,wait,forgetting something?
*Joe tosses Mike a pair of short tights and boots.For a minute,Mike smiles.*
MIKE:Oh,you sunnuvab****!
*Mike and Joe high five.Fade to black.*
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Aug 24, 2005 21:35:37 GMT -5
LILLIAN:The following contest is scheduled for one fall.Making their way to the ring...The New Age Outlaws!
RD:OH,YOU DIDN'T KNOW?YO ASS BETTER CAAAAAALL SOMEBODAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
*Road Dogg and Billy Gunn enter and make their way to the ring.Even a minute after they're in the ring,their music continues playing.*
LILLIAN:And their opponents,from Scranton,PA...'Joe Dogg' Joe James and 'Mast'ass' Mike Gunn...The New Age RAGNALS!
*Mike and Joe enter dressed up as the Outlaws and head to the ring.Joe takes the mic from Lillian.*
JOE:Ladies and gentlemen,boys and girls,children of all ages...EWT proudly brings to you it's soon to be Tag Team champions of the WOOOOOOOOORLD!The Joe Dogg and Mast'ass...the NEW!AGE!RAGNALS!
MIKE:I wanna go over a certain EWT star with all of you.Toomi told me that if Carl doesn't wrestle his next match,he's out of EWT.Well,you know what,Toomi?Let him stay!Because I want to teach Carl there a certain lesson-that if you want to fight for peace,you need to FIGHT!
*crowd cheers*
MIKE:And if you ain't down with the New Age Outlaws,I got four words for ya-THAT"S the Shocking Truth!
*The NAO attacks NAR until the ref separates Joe and Gunn and puts them in their respective corners.Mike tosses RD into a corner and charges at him.RD blocks with a shoulder and hits Mike with a Russian Leg Sweep.He lands a few elbow drops on Mike and then tosses him into the Ragnals' corner.Joe blind tags Mike,which the ref sees,and RD clotheslines Mike.Mike falls and Joe goes to the top ropes and hits RD with a flying Bulldog.He attempts a pin.*
1!
*RD kicks out and reverses with a roll-up pin.*
1!2!
*Joe rolls out.Joe attempts a headlock,but RD elbows him and releases the lock.RD tags Gunn in and Gunn lands the FameAsser on Joe.He goes for the pin.*
1!2!
*Mike breaks up the pin.RD then goes for Mike and clotheslines him out,and then attempts a double suplex with Gunn on Joe.Instead,Joe reverses and suplexes both of them.He heads to the tope ropes and lands the Cloudbreaker on Gunn.He goes for the pin.*
1!2!3!
*the bell rings.Mike gets in the ring and raises Joe's arms in victory.Faint plays as the Ragnals head out of the arena.*
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Post by Banned Member on Aug 24, 2005 23:53:49 GMT -5
*The African Drumbeats sound,and out walks Kamala with Kim Chee. The fans for some reason are silent as Kamala makes his way into the ring.*
*The Lights go dim,and instead of Step UP blaring over the PA. A New Dawn starts up. Merc,and Mia step out,and pyro goes off as Merc,and Mia do a little taunt up on top of the ramp,and than continue their power walk to the ring to a mixed reaction from the crowd.*
*Merc looks over at Kamala as the ref signals for the bell. Merc offers his hand to Kamala. Kamala looks toward the fans for support,but gets nothing. Kamala goes to shake Merc's hand,but Merc punches him in the face knocking Kamala back. Merc than follows that up with a kick to the gut,and a suplex. Merc than walks over to the fallen Kamala,and crouches,and lays several hay makers into the head of Kamala. Merc waits for Kamala to get up. Kamala gets up only to get a German suplex. Merc climbs the top rope ,and drops a flying knee into the head of Kamala. Merc picks up Kamala,and body slams him to the mat. Kim Chee decides at that moment to jump on the mat,and protest the match, but Chee only ends up getting a chair in the back courtesy of Mia. Merc looks over,and gives Mia a quick grin, but that was as Kamala needed as when Merc turns his attention back to Kamala. Merc is met with a chop to the throat knocking Merc down. Kamala quickly rolls Merc so Merc is face down on the mat,and Kamala bounces off the ropes,and splashes Merc. Kamala does this one more time,and splashes Merc again,and goes for the pin,but looks confused as the ref doesn't count,but yells for him to turn Merc over. Kamala gets off Merc to chase the ref around. As Kamala is chasing the ref around Mia runs over,and slips Merc a pair of brass kunks,and jumps on the apron distracting the ref,and Kamala who seems to be amazed with Mia's beauty. Merc taps Kamala on the back,and when Kamala turns,and looks at Merc. Merc punches Kamala in the head,and Kamala stands there dazed. Merc kicks Kamala in the gut,and hits a standing Payoff for the 3 count.*
*Merc slides outside the ring,and grabs a chair,and the mic. Merc slides back in the ring just as Kamala is getting up. Merc hits Kamala over the head with the chair,and Kamala slumps to the mat.*
Merc: It seems to me that lately I've been a joke to certain wrestlers here in the EWT. Well let me ask you guys this who has a shot at the Tri State Title? No its not that Malastupid. No its not Craprok or Leach Berg. I look around,and these guys see me as a joke. I'll tell you what a joke is these Stable titles. I bet their made of chocolate,and the other day I swear I saw a midget,and a big guy holding him backstage. What the hell is with that? Now you may have noticed that my name was the first on the Pain in The Ass Rumble. That is because I know I will go in that Rumble,and I will win it. I will prove that my name is not a joking matter, Now Billy I haven't forgotten about you. When the day of our match comes I guarantee I will be taking that Tri State title, and that you will bleed!
*A New Dawn starts over the Pa,and Merc,and Mia head to the back*
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Post by DSR on Aug 24, 2005 23:56:19 GMT -5
*DSR is seen backstage.
DSR: Awwwwww, poor Spaz. Believe me, kid, there was nothing I wanted more than to put you in your place a second time. But, I'm sorry to say, our boss, Toomi Bischoff, had something else in mind. I guess it just wasn't in the cards for ya, Spaz, but I wish you luck in all your future endeavors. By, the way, I find it funny that you choose to bring up your "destiny" at every given opportunity. You may think it's your destiny to defeat me and take my World Heavyweight Title, but there's something you have to remember about destiny: IT DOESN'T EXIST! Ya can't count on destiny, but you can always count on yourself. And I count on myself to beat you again if you're ever lucky enough to get your rematch.
Now then, it seems somebody I never heard of has decided to make idle threats in my direction. Dorf, pal, you want to talk about my last two PPV matches? You claim my World Title reign has sucked? Let me tell you a few things. First, I can only carry Abomb's worthless ass so far. If the man had any talent, he could have really done something in that ring, but I guess an effort from the "Ghetto Nightmare" is just too much to ask. And as for my last defense, against Spaz...it's so hard to get the audience behind someone who shows no personality. I did what I could for poor little Spaz, but he dropped the ball. And Dorf, if you somehow manage to win the Rumble, I'll drop you. And I'll drop anyone else that thinks they can hang with the best pure wrestler in the EWT. Because every entrant in the Rumble should know by now...that I'm BETTER than them.
*End scene.
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Maelstrom
AC Slater
The Tide Will Turn!
Posts: 236
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Post by Maelstrom on Aug 25, 2005 4:49:37 GMT -5
*Backstage and we are near the match board with Terri Runnels and Maelstrom*
Terri Runnels: Hi everyone, I'm here with one of the top contenders for the Tri-State Title Maelstrom!
Maelstrom: Hey Terri . .
Terri Runnels: Hi, Now lets get down to it . .
Maelstrom: You move fast Terri . . . well my aquarium is down that. .
Terri Runnels: No I mean lets get down to your current EWT situation.
Maelstrom: . . . sure I'll show you the current situation . .
*Crowd Laughs, Terri gives a little smile as she continues the interview*
Terri Runnels: . . First you have entered the Pain in the Ass Royal Rumble . . now why would you want to enter such a dangerous match?
Maelstrom: Dangerous? . . . the only Dangerous thing in the Rumble will be me . . . as I'll throw the rest of the entrants back into the sea . . . Big, Small, Freak or Fool nothing will stop the tide crashing down on them!
*Crowd chants for Maelstrom*
Terri: . . .Well the other contenders seem to have other ideas about who will win. Merc, Psychoapeguy, the Balance of Power even Oceanic. While the man that you will challenge if you win, the current EWT world Champion DSR has nothing but contempt for everyone in the rumble . .
*Crowd Boos ferociously on the mention of DSR*
Maelstrom: . . . That may be what you have heard Terri, but the reality is the sea is getting rough the clouds are darkening and when the Tide turns there time runs out . . . Merc you may like burying people but come the Rumble I'm going to make sure you drown! . . . Now DSR . . . our hero, our savior, our champion . . . you may claim to be a lot of things . . . but Better than me . . . *laughs* . . . suffice to say when I win the Rumble, the Tide will wash away the evil that contaminates the waters of the EWT . .
*Crowd Cheers*
Terri: . . . and Billy? . .
*Crowd Boos Billy*
Maelstrom: Ah yes . . my little Virgin friend . . . you say you have something for me . . . and your right you do have something for me . . . you have your Tri-State Title . . . I'll look forward to taking it from you . . . and I'm sure the fans will look forward to me taking it from you . . . because . . . The Tide Will Turn!!
*A Maelstrom chant can be heard. Maelstrom is about to walk off when Chief Jay Strongbow in full costume of his native American ancestors walks up to the interview*
Chief Jay Strongbow: HOW!
Maelstrom: Hey, Didn't I send you to hospital last week?
Chief Jay Strongbow: No . . that was Tatanka . . I am Chief Jay Strongbow . . and I will Chop you down to size for your actions last week . . water demon . .
*Chief Jay Strongbow performs a war dance before he leaves*
Maelstrom: . . Water Demon? . . . not today Chief . . not today . . .
*Maelstrom disappears in a cloud of smoke . . the fire alarm sprinklers go off . . . drenching Terri*
Terri: . . Thanks . . . back to you guys at ringside . .
(cut to commercial)
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Aug 25, 2005 5:37:33 GMT -5
*Seek & Destroy By Metallica hits & Sting appears to a good pop.*
RA: From Venice Beach, CA, weighing in at 252 lbs, Sting!!
*Party Starter hits & Spaz makes his way to the ring to a big pop as usual.*
*Both men face off & shake hands as the bell rings. They stare at each other for a second before locking up, Sting gains the advantage & hits Spaz with a snap suplex. Spaz gets up quickly & grabs Sting hitting a snap suplex of his own. Sting gets to a vertical base & the two lock up again. Spaz gets the upper hand & hits a Nothern Lights Driver.*
1 2 NO!
*Sting kicks out. Both men are back to their feet & Spaz charges at sting knocking him down with a shoulder block. Spaz grabs his legs & locks on a Sydney Cloverleaf. Sting is squealing in pain as Spaz applies the pressure. Sting fights his way to the bottom rope & grabs it forcing Spaz to break the hold. Sting pulls himself to a vertical base. Spaz grabs him & lfits him up for The Shockwave but Sting counters with a DDT.*
1 2 NO!
*Spaz kicks out. Sting picks Spaz up & whips him into the corner, he runs over & hits a big Stinger Splash.*
1 2 ROPEBREAK!
*Spaz gets a foot up on the ropes Sting pulls Spaz back to his feet but Spaz pushes Sting off & and he bounces back off the ropes Spaz hits him with a Shelton Benjamin style Powerslam into a pin.*
1 2 NO!
*Sting kicks out again but he is in the middle of the ring as Spaz locks on the Sydney Cloverleaf for a second time. This time Sting is too far from the ropes & after about 30 seconds he is forced to tap.*
RA: Your winner by submission Spaz!!
*As Spaz's music plays, Sting rises & shakes Spaz's hand. The crowd give both a good ovation as we cut to commercial.*
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Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
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Post by Curly Long on Aug 25, 2005 5:55:41 GMT -5
(back from commercial)
*We are at ringside with your hosts J.R and Jesse 'The Body' Ventura*
Gorilla Monsoon: Hello everybody and have we got a some great matches coming up . . Everyones favorite 'Hillbilly' Uncle Elmer takes on one quarter of the Stable Champions Curly Long . . . Chief Jay Strongbow takes on the Malevolent Maelstrom in an Indian Strap Match . . Ox Champion David Adams will be up against Matt Hardy . . . Rob Van Dam will be in action against A-Bomb . . . Kerwin White will take on the Tri-State champion Billy 'the Virgin' Ubermark . . . and our main event will see the current EWT champion DSR and his Sexy Translator take on Edge and Lita in mixed tag action . . . all this and so much more and I can't wait . . Jesse . .
Jesse Ventura: . . Thats right Gorilla. . lots of great matches are coming up . . and don't forget the Tag Titles will be on the line in a Scaffold Tables match . . . but first I want to talk about Curly Long . . he's a fine athlete , in fact a gem here in the EWT . .
Gorilla: A gem? . . . you have got to be kidding . . . the only thing Curly Long resembles is a rotten apple . . . he's bad to the core . .
Jesse: . .Say what you like Gorilla he wasn't MCW champion for nothing . . . . I'm sure we'll see some good honest wrestling from the true showstopper Curly Long . .
Gorilla Monsoon: You can't be serious . . .Curly Long is one of the most sneaky and conniving individuals in the EWT . . . and I'm sure the Balance of Power will stick there nose in his match as well . .
Jesse Ventura: Well all I can say Gorilla is watch this space . . . now I believe Sean Mooney has some words for us from the Balance of Power . .
*The camera cuts to Sean Mooney who is standing in front of the EWT logo with the Balance of Power, noticeable in his absence is Mr. Big as Curly Long is sitting on Epidemiks shoulders instead*
Sean Mooney: Thanks Jesse . . I'm here with the Balance of Power . . . and the first question must be to Curly . . . where is Mr. Big?
Curly: Let me tell you . . . and the little people out there that when you talk to me or the rest of the B.O.P you show some respect . . we are stable champions after all! . .
Sean Mooney: . . yes . . Cur . . I mean . . Mr.Long . .
Curly: Good . . now unfortunately Mr. Big had some seafood last night . . . and is in no shape to help me out tonight . . . . but he'll be back don't you worry about it . . .
Sean Mooney: so this has nothing to do with the recent reports coming from Little Elmer's Orphanage?
Curly: Reports? . . . what reports . . the building burnt to the ground . . .
Sean Mooney: But . . a very tall black man was seen at the Orphanage the night of the inferno . . . and the new reports suggest that a much shorter man was there as well . . and . .
Pza: Hey Mooney what does this have to do with his match?
Sean Mooney: I'm just trying to get the details . .
Curly: Shut it, Pygmy boy!
Sean Mooney: ok . . well you have a match against Uncle Elmer . . toni . .
Curly : what did I just say . . . we are not talking about the incident I was involved with . . I mean . . er . . . the tragedy at the Orphanage . . .
Sean Mooney: . . actually . . what I meant is that your match is against the 'Hillbilly' Uncle Elmer . .
Curly: oh . . . well just like last week . . . I will be victorious again . . . I'm a multiple MCW Champ no freakin' Hillbilly is going to stop me . . . I should be facing a credible challenge like the Stinger . .
*Pza whispers something to Curly*
Curly: What! . . . Sting is here! . . . and he's just faced that 3 time loser Spaz! . . . dammit . . . That should have been me . . . they must have mixed the names up . . . I'm the top dog here . . . dammit! . .
*As Curly curses and beats up an unfortunate stagehand who was walking past, Sean Mooney wraps the interview up*
Sean Mooney: . . . well fans . . thats all from me . . . as . .
Curly: . . hey . . Mooney! . .
Sean Mooney: yes?
The Balance of Power: F*** the Fans!
*The Balance of Power walks off trying to reassure Curly about the match board*
Sean Mooney: Looks like tension is brewing backstage . . . Back to you guys at ringside . .
(cut to commercial)
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Post by viscera on Aug 25, 2005 15:05:26 GMT -5
The following Contest is scheduled for one fall!!! Introducing first... weighing in at 275 pounds, The Ultimate Warrior!!!
Warrior runs out to the ring with a microhone and slides into the ring, looking around at the crowd.
Warrior: Tonight, I'm facing Paul Padoonsi... no Paul Padonkis.... no wait... Paul Destrucity! Yeah that's it... and I'm going to beat him from coat to post with my might legs of destrucity and my arms of destrucity and my... head of destrucity... and my butt of destrucity! Because... Queering don't make the world work! Pauling Podansking don't make the world work either! So I'm going to bleat up Pal Poodanski because that's the bottom line... cause the Ultimate Warrior said so... if you smell what the Ultimate Warrior is cookin... because he is the Ultimate Warrior and he is that damn good... so have I nice Warrior... or Warrior will get the destrucity... DAMN!!!
The crowd just stares gap-jawed at Warrior's speech. Suddenly Paul's Theme Hits and he runs out to the ring.
Announcer: And his opponent... weighing in at 312 pounds.... Paul Poodan... I mean Paul Podanski!!!
Paul slowly walks up to the ring... eying Ultimate Warrior and quickly sliding in as the bell rings to start the match. Warrior starts the match off by taking Paul down with a clothesline, Paul getting right back up and hitting warrior with a clothesline of his own. Warrior quickly gets to his feet as well, both of them unfazed by each others attacks.Warrior quickly begans to pound away with some stiffs shots to the face, Paul quickly retaliating with some shots of his own. Soon Paul catches one of Warrior's Punches and turns it into an armbreaker. Warrior groans as he's lifted up and slammed down for a back body drop into a cover
1....
But Warrior quickly kicks out and gets back to his feet. Paul proceeds to pound the living crap out of him with lefts and rights, eventually lifting him up for the Appauler, but Warrior drops down and counters with a Clothesline to Paul's back. Paul groans a bit in pain as Warrior hits another clothesline, taking him down to the mat. He goes for a cover
1....
But this time Paul kicks out, Warrior can't believe it. He immediately signals for his finisher, as Paul get's up, takes him down with The Warrior Press... then runs back bouncing off the ropes, going for the Warrior Splash and nails it. Into a cover
1....2....
NO! Paul kicks out somehow. Warrior can't believe it. He immediately walks over and starts arguing with the referee, as Paul get's to his feet. He waits for Warrior to turn around, and as soon he does, lifts him up the Paulerbomb... spinning once, twice, three times, four times, five times. SIX TIMES and slamming him down hard to the mat. Paul quickly goes for a cover.
1....2....3!
Announcer: here is your winner... Paul Podanski!!!
Paul gets a nice pop as he picks Warrior back up and throws him out of the ring, playing to the crowd a bit, then rolling out of the ring and heading backstage...
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DQorDie
Bubba Ho-Tep
Believe in yourself & ROCK N ROLL!!!
Posts: 635
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Post by DQorDie on Aug 25, 2005 16:15:55 GMT -5
Back from commercial as we see a limo pull up
Micheal Cole: A limo has got pulled up in front of the EWT Arena ladies & gentleman. WHO could it be?
Out from the door pops out "Superstar" Billy Graham waddling from his car due to his massive belly.
MC: "Superstar" Billy Graham! This is incredible. The WWE Hall of Fame legend is here.
"Superstar" Billy Graham: Yes it is! And who are you?
MC: Huh?
SBG: Huh?
MC: You're kidding me? You don't know who I am?
SBG: No, I'm sorry. You see I wasn't thinking about doing a posing or wrestling comeback....least of all in a dump like this. It seems I had a clause in my WWE contract for one more match. What a bitch right?
MC: You don't know who I am? I'm a top WWE announcer & I'm going to crippling one of the EWT's most worthless stars & you don't know who I am....I AM MICHEAL COLE DAMMIT!!!!
SBG: Oooooh Cole.....Haha I heard you....You like to wear women's clothing & you're gonna get your ass handed to you at the Rumble. Am I right? Or am I thinking of another Cole?
MC: Ugh, ENOUGH.....Let's get back to the interview "Superstar"........BELLY Graham.
SBG: *shocked looked but gets right into it* Listen daddy I may have been eating philly cheesesteaks & have been asking for seconds on the cake, BUT there's NO WAY I'm coming out of tonight's match as a loser because Flex Magnificent. You may have been crippling some great contenders left & right, but when you're in the ring tonight you're going against the MAIN EVENTER, THE TREND SETTER, that don't get no better. And that's "Superstar" *gets in Cole's grill* BILLY Graham. Ya got that Cole-ina!
Superstar shoves Cole to the ground. Cole hits the ground with a girlish scream. Graham walks away as Cole looks on in wonderment.
Cut to the next segment.
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Post by dorf on Aug 25, 2005 19:02:44 GMT -5
Finkel: This match is scheduled for one-fall! It is for the #1 contendership of the EWT Ox Division Title! *'Poor and Weird' by The Briefs play* Coming down to the ring, weighing in at 240 pounds, from Portland Oregon, he is the current 'Gene Rayburn' Memorial Champion. I give you ULTIMO CHOCULA!
*Chocula comes out underneath the CrapTron and arrives looking more confident than ever as he has a chance to become the number one contender for the Ox Division Title. He walks down the ramp and enters the ring fine. Ultimo Chocula motions to the crowd that he will win the number one contendership*
Finkel: *'It's Dorf's Time' by Da Radicalz play* Coming down to the ring, weighing in at 268 pounds, from Filthadelphia Pencilvania, a former EWT Ox Division Champion, I give you DORF!
*Dorf comes out underneath the CrapTron to a cult-like cheer as the cheers have increased more than last week (thanks to that shoot interview about the entry of the Royal Pain in the Ass Rumble). Dorf walks down the ramp and enters the ring fine.*
*The two have a cold, dry stare at each other as the referee rings the bell. They lock up as the fans are starting to go wild as this is going to be a classic. Dorf pulls Chocula to the one corner and holds him at the turnbuckles, while the referee is yelling....*
Referee: 1....2....3....4..
*Dorf uses his strength to get around Chocula before the referee counted to five. Dorf immediately did a strong right hand to Chocula at the corner and posed for some heel heat which is getting less and less each week now. Dorf runs to the corner to almost a spear-like move, but Chocula ducks out of the way at the last second making Dorf hit the post shoulder first.*
*As soon as Dorf turns around holding pressure at his shoulder, Chocula runs at Dorf and applies a Superkick to him and goes down easily. Chocula goes right to the top rope and does a Backwards Moonsault to Dorf. Chocula attempts to pin*
1..................................2...........................
*Dorf kicks out. Chocula looks upset in the referee, knowing that was a close 3 count. He then went up to the top rope and it looks like he's signaling another finisher of his, the Earth-Clutch. He executes the top-rope splash part perfectly, but Dorf moves out of the way just in time to miss the Earth-shattering finisher. The referee counts both men down on the mat.*
1...2...3...4...5...6..
*Dorf and Chocula get up around the same time. Dorf has the advantage as he goes up to him and gives him a right hand. After a few seconds, Chocula goes up to Dorf and gives him a right hand of his own. Dorf replies back with another right and before Chocula could retaliate, Dorf sets Chocula up with his set-up move, the Dorf Bottom. Jim Hoss is going nuts now.*
Hoss: DORF BOTTOM! DORF BOTTOM! DORF BOTTOM! DORF BOTTOM! (and so on.)
*Dorf is wobbling a little bit from the aftershock of that Moonsault he had taken earlier. He made Chocula stand up and set up for the Dorf-plex. Dorf holds the choke onto Chocula and as Dorf was about to put Chocula into the suplex portion of the move, Chocula countered into THE SUGAR FIX! Both competitors are down. The referee counts some more.*
Referee: 1...2...3...4..
*Chocula is up as Dorf is still down. He runs to one side of the ropes as the referee is checking on Dorf to see if he is okay. Inadvertently out of nowhere, as Chocula went to the ropes, Joe Ragnal appears and slams Chocula so hard with a viscious chair shot that Chocula went down in an instant. The referee saw none of this (due to him checking on Dorf) as Ragnal disappers underneath the ring, but leaves the chair outside the ring. Dorf gets up slowly and takes Chocula to the corner. Dorf climbs up to the second turnbuckle and then delievers a Dorf Driver to Chocula. Dorf covers.*
Referee: 1............................2.................................3!
Winner: by pinfall and the number one contender of the EWT Ox Division Title, DORF!
*After Dorf's hand was raised, David Adams makes a surprise attack on Dorf and whails Dorf with a nasty chair shot to his head. Adams dropped the chair down near the corner of the ring and has a devilish smile on his face. He takes Dorf there and puts him on the top rope. Adams goes to the top rope and locks Dorf into a piledriver-esque move to perform THE CROWNING ACHIEVEMENT ON TOP OF THE STEEL CHAIR! Dorf's cranium started to bleed as Adams left to a smile on his face. After the EMTs came down to the ring to take 'care' of Dorf, the camera fades for a commercial.*
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Post by whoopdeedoo on Aug 25, 2005 19:04:26 GMT -5
[Ride the Lightning hits and WDD slides into the ring. The ring posts shoot flames, and Kane strides down to the ring and faces WDD]
WDD and Kane lock up, Kane tosses WDD across the ring. Kane picks up WDD and tosses him into the turnbuckle, the force causing WDD to fall down, clutching his chest. Kane picks up WDD and sidewalk slams him. He grabs WDD's neck, when suddenly a voice reverberates over the arena.
Undertaker: Kane....
Kane: [Lets go of WDD] What the f***?
Undertaker: Kane...
Kane: Can someone PLEASE tell me what's going on here?
[Suddenly, Paul Bearer walks down to the ring, holding an urn]
PB: OOOOOOOH YEEEESSSS!!!
Kane: Ohhh, no.....
PB: Kane, you know why I am here.
Kane: Not really.
PB: Of course you do. You remember that WWE is planning on writing a kayfabed biography, right.
Kane: Oh yeah...
PB: Well, we're here to educate the fans here on the major points of Kane's life. You all remember that Kane was the one that burned down the house that supposedly killed his family, but Undertaker and I survived. Also, you lost your ability to speak.
Kane: But wait, wasn't it Undertaker that burned it down? Or was it you? And I'm TALKING RIGHT NOW! What is going on?!
PB: Who cares! Anyway, you got carted off to an insane asylum, where you spent the rest of your days, until you escaped and joined the WWE.
[Hurricane's theme hits and Hurricane walks down to the ring]
PB: What are you doing here?
UT: Hurricane.....
PB: ENOUGH!
UT: OK........
Hurricane: Remember me Kane? We spoke to each other, and became friends. Then we won the tag team titles!
Kane: Wait, I spoke to you? I thought I couldn't speak!
Hurricane: Well, that-
[Triple H's theme hits and HHH walks down to the entrance ramp]
Hurricane: Hey, what are you doing here?
[Triple H pedigrees Hurricane and pins him]
PB: What was that for?
HHH: Felt like it. Anyway, KANE, YOU ARE A MURDERER!
Kane: Now what?!
HHH: Don't you remember your girlfriend, Katie Vick?!
Kane: What girlfriend? I was in an insane asylum!
HHH: No you weren't.
Kane: OK, fine, but I was scarred in a fire, how could I have gotten a girlfriend?
HHH: Search me.
Kane: [Holds his head] Oh, my head.
HHH: Anyway, you were in a car accident with Katie, and Katie was killed. You later raped her corpse. I have a videotape.
[Shows Katie Vick funeral tape again]
Kane: Oh Jesus...[Vomits]
HHH: After that, I defeated you for the World Heavyweight Title, and then I beat you again, and you had to remove your mask where you showed your hideous face for all to see.
Kane: Actually, my face isn't that horrible to look at-
[Suddenly Lita appears]
Kane: Oh, now what?
Lita: Hello dear. Don't you remember that time you were stalking me? Then you married me against my will.
Snitsky: Then I killed your baby. [Spots someone in the crowd] Oh...my....god....LOOK AT THOSE FEET!!! [Dashes into the crowd giggling]
Edge: Then I stole Lita from you, who had by then loved you.
Kane: Why?
Edge: Because-
[Suddenly Matt Hardy dives out of the crowd and takes out Edge. HHH picks up Matt and Pedigrees him, then the Conman appears out of nowhere and pins Edge and Matt. HHH Pedigrees the Conman, only to be struck by lightning via the Undertaker. Conman gets up, but gets hit on the head with the urn by Paul Bearer]
Kane: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! OH JESUS MY HEAD! [Kane passes out]
[WDD crawls over and pins Kane]
Winner via brain failure-WDD
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DQorDie
Bubba Ho-Tep
Believe in yourself & ROCK N ROLL!!!
Posts: 635
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Post by DQorDie on Aug 25, 2005 20:31:31 GMT -5
The bell rings as the camera is focused on the Fink
Howard Finkel: This match is a special SUPER POSEDOWN CHALLENGE MATCH![/i] It is also scheduled for one fall with a 20 minute time limit.
The Magnificent Choir is in place as they burst into "Hallelujah!" Flex's ring girls come parading out the curtain & part as soon as Mr. Magnificent as well as Dr. Frederic Delavier make their way out. They both stop as Flex is back in his purple rhinestone robe from last week following him this week now in a glass case is the Jesse The Body Award for 2005. He looks around to check out the fans disapproval of yet another Flex Magnificent Super Posedown Challenge.
The Fink: Coming down the aisle at this time Hailing from Nuremberg, Germany with a weight of 330 lbs. of pure muscle with arms in length of 30 inches, waist 38", legs 24" & at a height of 6'7" he is the undefeated WBF Champion, the Scammy Award Winning, Olympic Gold Medalist, & recently crowned Jesse The Body Award winner for 2005 ......He is the Genetic Superman.........FLEX..................MAAAAAAAAAAGNIIIIIIIIIIFICEEEEEEEEEEENT!!!!!!!!!!![/i]
Flex enters the ring & jumps up & down & pulls on the ropes to warm up as we go to our next introduction
The Fink: And his opponent..............
The intrsumental version of "Jesus Christ Superstar" fills the arena as the fans rise in appluase to their feet.
The Fink: Approaching ringside hailing from Paradise Valley, Arizona. Weighing in at 340 lbs. He is the former WWWF World Heavyweight Champion & Hall of Famer. He is SUPERSTAR! BILLY! GRAHAAAAAMM!!!
Graham exits out the curtain waddling to the ring slapping all the fans hands in his tie die robe with "Superstar" printed on the back in rhinestone with some designs.
Gorilla Monsoon: This could be a big mistake for the Superstar. He originally left the World Wrestling Federation due to career ending hip surgery as well as having a liver transplant some years ago.
Jesse "The Body" Ventura: You're right, Gorilla. Frankly the "Superstar" is more like a "fading star." He's seen his better days & what the hell is he thinking trying to prove himself with that belly of his that he's dragging to ringside! This is a slap in the face to top competitors such as his opponent tonight & may I say quite the magnificent opponent....Especially after his winning the COVETED 2005 Jesse The Body Award!
GM: Give me a break the man is contractually obligated to fight tonight!
JV: I might not be giving you a break, but Flex Magnificent will surely break something of Billy's! Hahahaha.
Both men are now in the ring & are ready to pose. The referee in charge for tonight, nWo referee Nick Patrick. wearing the ski mask, has the mic in his hand to explain the rules since after Flex's bikini match with Kurt Angle & last week's Super Posedown Challenge no one has offered to do the honors.
nWo referee Nick Patrick: *in his gruff voice* Listen guys. Tonight's SUPER POSEDOWN CHALLENGE will be decided by the fans....because frankly this competition is just too sick for everybody in the back.
Both men shrug & agree.
nWoNP: First off we have FLEX MAGNIFICENT!! Show 'em what yo mama gave ya.
Flex moves to center ring as Dr. Delavier removes his robe to display Flex's once again overly greased body that has such a galre fans in the first row are forced to wear sunglasses. Billy starts complaining about the grease so nWo referee Nick Patrick hands Flex a towel & makes his wipe some of it off.
After that interruption Flex is back in posing mood as the posing muzak begins & he gives the audience the poses that made "The Flying Dutchman" Berry De May fall to his knees & cry like a child during their WBF Championship match. The fans boo as loud as they can. They are completely merciless to Flex. Flex is becoming agrivated with the response yet continues his posedown. He completes as the fans boo even louder. The camera begins to pan on fans holding up saying "Flex Crapnificent" & "He Has No Neck!"
nWoNP: *as though he were reading from a cue card* Thank you Flex, the fans seem to have enjoyed it. And now everyone put your hands together for "Superstaaar" Billy Graham!
Billy Graham grabs the mic.
"Superstar" Billy Graham: Hey Magnificent! I know I may not be the sheik of physique like you are daddy, but even though this match is a required by my contract I guarantee I am going to give you your first defeat in a posedown competition! *the fans erupt as Flex's face gets red as he looks around & then stares down Graham* And Flexy when I get through whupping your ass in posing I'm gonna hit ya with my new move that I call the "Belly to Billy Suplex" *Graham being humble about his physique shows a smile to the fans* & it's gonna be 1--2--3 as I revele in vic-tor-ee! Haha. Hit my music!
The instrumental version of "Jesus Christ Superstar" hits as Billy disrobes down to his swimmin' trunks (no g-string sorry folks) to a surprising roar from the fans showing respect to this legend of the ring REGARDLESS of his physique. Billy hits a few trademark poses & finishes off by pumping the ol' fist as respect for the fans appreciation. nWo referee Nick Patrick has the mic now.
nWoNP: And the winner is.....By unanimous decision.....FLEX MAGNIFICENT!!!!!!!!!!
The fans are livid at the result of the contest as they believed Billy Graham had it won!
GM: The fans are livid at these turn of events. "Superstar" Billy Graham should have won if it weren't for that crooked nWo referee Nick Patrick! There is no justice here in the EWT!
JV: Hahaha I don't know about you Monsoon, but it was a fair fight. Graham definitely had plenty of points in the handicap area hahaha.
GM: Would you please stop!
nWo referee Nick Patrick raises Flex Magnificents hand as the recorded version of "Hallelujah!" plays over the PA. Graham is visibly angry & turns nWo referee Nick Patrick around & blasts him with a Superstar right hand. Flex turns around & receives one & then another & then another.
GM: The Superstar is coming back with lefts & rights to the mush of Flex Magnificent! Whatta comeback, Jess!
The bell rings to start the match as Graham backs Flex into the ropes with the ARTHRITIS CLAW HOLD!!! Graham than whips Flex into the ropes. Flex whips back & runs right into the massive gut of "Superstar" Billy Graham as if it was a brick wall & falls flat on his back! Graham picks him up by the hair & signals to the fans for the Belly-to-Billy Suplex!!!. He connects & tries to bring him over & finalls hits in, but Billy is hurting in a bad way!
GM: Oh no! The impact of the moves must've aggitated some battle wounds on the Superstar!
JV: More like Civil War wounds. The guy is over a 100 years old. What do you expect, Monsoon? For him to be on top like he was in the 70's?
Billy is really hurting bad & it's obvious on his face. He slightly rolls around the ring as Flex quickly gets to his feet & lifts up Graham. Graham is in such pain he can barely get up on his own strength as Flex does most of the work.
As soon as Graham is up Flex tries to whip him into the ropes but Graham falls right back down in agony. Flex starts holding his stomach pointing & laughing at the fallen Superstar.
GM: He's having a field day isn't he! Adding insult to injury.
Flex getting right back to work lifts Graham up in body slam formation & despoits Graham right on his knee for a backbreaker! The fans "OOOOOoooooo" at the impact Flex put into it. Flex walks around the ring flexing to his heart's content as Graham in now quivering in pain.
Flex is back at it with various stomps to Grahams liver that was transplanted a few years ago. Now Graham is in a world of hurt as Flex refuses to stop. Blood is start to seep out of the area as EMTS start rushing to ringside to aid Graham.
One by one as each EMT steps in Flex conks the out with clotheslines & double axehandles directly to the face. There is now a sea of 3 EMTS out cold on the mat along with Graham.
Graham makes eye contact with Flex as Flex moves in on his prey. Graham shakes his head for Flex to stop, but Flex will not have any of this as he picks Graham back up & shoves him into a corner. Flex gets in his face & says....
Flex Magnificent: Wutt are you trying do do old man?! Huh? You tried do make me look like uh fool before NOW WHO IS DA FOOL?! Do you know wutt I do do people who try do embarass me? Huh?!?!?!?!?! People like LIMEY! HUH?! LIKE LIMEY!!!! DAT IS YOU!!!! YOU ARE LIMEY!!!!
Graham while holding his sore spot flips Flex the bird as Flex in a rampage bludgeons him to unconsciousness with his fist.Graham is covered in a sea of red.
GM: OH MY GOD! What brutality on the behalf of Flex Magnificent!!! I can't believe it!!!
As Graham is lying on the mat Flex has gone into ROID ZERO! As he has gone beyond his breaking point. He deadlifts Graham & does an impressive feat in lifting up an unconscious Graham up for the STACKED SUPER SLAM!!!! (AKA the Gorilla Press Slam)
GM: THERE IS NOW NO DOUBT IN MY MIND THAT THIS MAN IS ON STEROIDS! IF HIS LOOKS DIDN'T GIVE IT AWAY THIS CERTAINLY DOES!!!!!!!
Flex gives out a mighty roar as he throws Graham right into a set of turnbuckles leaving him in a crumpled heap. The fans are completely in shock. The camera focuses on a young fan crying his 6 year old heart out for the Superstar.
Flex then drags the Superstar to the middle of the ring & flips him over & locks in the Flex Capacitor!!! nWo referee being the jerk that he is raises Grahams hand up once & walks over to the side of the ring & yells to the bell ringer & the Fink, "1!" He goes back & does the same thing, but this time yells, "2!" He goes back again & finally says, "3!!!!" & calls for the bell
The Fink: The winner of this contest as a result of submission......FLEEEEEEEEEEXXXXXXXX!!!!!!!!!!! MAGNIFICEEEEEEEEEEENT!!!!!
The bell continues to be rung while Flex holds on the Flex Capacitor until......
Out of nowhere from the PA starts playing "Sexy Guy"
Flex releases the hold & is more pissed than before. He gets up & turns around to see the Heartbreak Hitmen at the entranceway with a mic holding on to his EWT World Tag Team Title with Gasoline & Rosa in tow
Heartbreak Hitman: Hey uuuh...Flex....Is that your name? Well whatever....Anyway....Congrats on beating up that decreped old man. I'm suuuuuure it was a battle of epic proportions, but I'm here for a different reason. *Camera focuses on Flex moving towards the ropes where the entrance is* It seems my partner Limey *Flex is in a tivy* just isn't living up to my expectations & well I just wasn't expecting to carry a whole team to the titles. You know it's a lot of work & let me put it this way.....I'm tired of it. He leaves me to take a vacation? Are you kidding me? He barely wrestles in our matches & now he needs some time off? Uh uh. If he's running with the Hitman he better put up or shut up even if I have to make him do it myself. And that is just what I intend to do.*the fans boo the Hitman for his comments towards the fan favorite Limey* Because you see.......I had a talk with Toomi after you signed up for the Rumble & we decided I should show Limey what a real wrestler is like. And since he obviously can't beat a guy who cripples already crippled old men than I sure as hell can! *Flex starts spitting at the mouth & shaking the ropes* So next week me against you, Muscles Malone. Let's do it. So double up on the steroids & put on some bigger swimmin' trunks next week cuz I had enough of seeing your "small package" each week & Limey when you come back & see this get you're pad & pencil ready because you're about to see excellence in action!
"Sexy Guy" hits as HBH & his entourage leave the entrance way.
The camera is back on Flex in the ring who is now calmed down by Dr. Delavier. He has a big smile on his face & starts laughing hysterically all the while "Superstar" Billy Graham is being attended to by new EMTs who rushed through the guard rails while HBH was talking.
GM: Can you believe all the arrogance that will be in the ring next week! We got two prima donnas who are so full of themselves it's coming out their ears!
JV: Give me a break, Monsoon. Regardless of what HBH says we're gonna see two titans battle it out for ring supremecy next week. It's gonna be a great match! I can't wait!
GM: Meanwhile "Superstar" Billy Graham must be in a world of pain yet pleased at the same time that his WWE contract is finally filled. I can't believe the damage he has sustained. Can Flex Magnificent be stopped? I just hope no matter who it is HBH, Limey, or anyone else may God be on their side.
JV: Listen to you trying to make God of all people play favorites.
GM: We'll be right back fans right after this word for EWT Action Figures!
JV: Where's my action figure, Monsoon?
GM: In the scrap heap with the rest of them. We'll be right back, folks.
Fade to commercial.
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Post by Y2Jericho on Aug 25, 2005 21:22:57 GMT -5
Life to Lifeless goes throughout the arena as Matt Rage sprints to the ring into a flurry of punches by his opponent Arn Anderson. Arn then continues to work on the back of Rage until Rage slides out of the ring to get a breather. Rage grabs Arn's legs and pulls him out of the ring. Matt Rage then proceeds to irish whip Arn into the barrier. Rage rolls into the ring and back out to break the 10 count. Anderson is then picked up by Matt and thrown into the ring post as his skull bounces off of it. Rage pushes Anderson back into the ring and clibs to the top rope. Rage dives off the top and hits a Frog Splash onto Arn. Rage then puts a one legged boston crab on Arn. After 30 seconds or so Rage picks up Anderson and hooks his arms for a Fury DropRage then stops and looks at the ropes. He moves over to the ropes and climbs them. With Rage and Arn on the top rope Rage dives off and hits a Super Fury Drop. Rage's back is in pain from the fall as hes moves over for the pin.
1........2...........3!
Rage then picks up a mic and insults Arn about his age and how it wasnt even a challenge to pin him. Rage looks like he's going to beat down Arn even more but he tosses the mic at Anderson. Arn looks at Rage puzzled until Matt Rage is in the back.
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ape
Unicron
Aunt Blabby Tells All.
bea wants all you sweathogs to take a look at what a REAL man is supposed to look like
Posts: 3,223
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Post by ape on Aug 25, 2005 21:47:14 GMT -5
*sika and psychoapeguy lock up. ape breaks the lock-up and hits a headbutt on sika. sika smiles at ape and headbutts him in return. ape smiles back at sika and once again headbutts him. the two continue to return headbutts a few times until ape cuts sika off with a knee to the midsection. he then runs off the ropes and hits a swinging neckbreaker on him. almost as if it was instictive, ape reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pair of scissors...he begins to walk towards sika, but the referee sees it and kicks the scissors out of ape's hand.
ape looks over at the referee with an angry look on his face. the official threatens psychoapeguy with a dq...the ape doesn't pay attention to the warnings and clotheslines the referee hard to the mat. he then slaps a mandible claw on him and screams out with joy.
sika gets to his feet and attacks ape. he irish whips ape off the ropes. ape ducks underneath a clothesline from sika, bounces off the opposite ropes and nails a diving clothesline of his own onto sika. ape quickly runs over to the scissors, and as sika gets to his feet, psychoapeguy quickly grinds the scissors into his forehead. sika screams out in agony.
after a few moments, afa appears from nowhere. ape sees afa coming and quickly side-steps afa's attack and grabs him around the neck from behind, placing the scissor blade underneath afa's chin. ape mumbles a few threats to afa, then kicks a low blow on him. ape then pounces on sika once again, sadistically digging his fingers into the scissor wound, trying to pull back the layers of flesh he cut through. the referee wakes up and calls for the dq as officials flood from the back and drag psychoapeguy from the ringside area.*
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Post by viscera on Aug 25, 2005 22:46:23 GMT -5
Suddenly the Toomitron lights up again and Pain and Canceler are sitting in their office... Pain has his reading glasses on and is wearing his suit again. Canceelr is just standing behind him, glaring at the screen with a mean look on his face. Pain has a clipboard with a copy of the PITAR sign up list so far.
Pain: Hello my pupils... today before our match with the Legion of Dunces, I am going to address everyone here in the EWT in that... PITAR and why they have no chance at defeating the P.T.A. namely myself, in the rumble. I'm afraid I will be walking out of that ring in a few weeks... with the number one contendor's spot... and the rest of you... well, you'll just be back to curtain pulling.
The crowd boos quiet loudly at the mention of this.
Pain: Now let's start with the person who first signed up for the PIATR shall we? Hmmmm The Mercenary and Mistress Mia. First of all... what exactly is a MERCENARY doing wrestling in the first place? I'd think you were taking contracts and failing miserably at each job you have. And Mia... oh what a terrible name. I sincerely doubt either of you will be a threat. Let's move on...
The crowd boo's again.
Pain: And who's next? Oh no. There's a threat. I mean, I don't think I can beat this person. Oh wait... that's my name. My mistake. Let's move on.
More crowd booing.
Hmmmm Psychoape. So basically, you are a hairy primate... who has mental issues and the intelligence of a gnat? Please. You don't scare me... you couldn't scare a child you incompetent boob!
More booing...
Pain: Oh who's next... oh it's Oceanic. The woman with the Chyna syndrome. Oh by the way, thanks for allowing me the pleasure of participating in a SHAMPOO BOTTLE ON A POLE MATCH! My dear woman, you signed your death warrant the minute you entered the rumble. Perhaps you should pull out while you still can.
More booing...
Hmmm... next we have Flex Magnificent. Oh just wonderful. A musclehead... not even you can match the physique of my... large friend here. Isn't that right Canceler?
The Canceler grunts and nods... punching a massive hole in the wall behind him.
Pain: Moving on. We have Spaz. The fan favorite. The big enchilada. You already had your oppurtunity at the title... you certainly don't deserve another. I mean, spare the world from watching you stumble about inside the ring. I've got a title you can go for next anyway. Perhaps the... Girl's Next Door championship?
The crowd explodes with boos... Pain ignoring it again.
Pain: Maelstrom... Maelstrom... Maelstrom. You say that you'll take us out with the current? You think that you'll drown your opponents? My friend... the only thing water related will be you... going down the drain...
More boos... of course.
Pain: Who's next. Paul Podanski... I won't even waste words on you. Moving on. Next we have... Billy " The Virgin " Ubermark. Hmmm... a hormone crazed man... who just happens to wrestle? I must admit I respect him a bit, but to me, he's just another student in need of a suspension.
More boos... there's a pattern here apparently
Pain: WDD... Who?! Walrus Del Dango? Watermelon Dingleberry Doc? I don't even know or care... who this is.He's just another target... and like the rest, one that will be eliminated,
More boos...
Pain: And next we have... Dave Davies. Hmmm... a respectable young man. I've seen him in the ring, quiet vicious, very skilled, just like myself. But here's the difference. You will lose... and I will win.
More Boos... of course
Pain: And next we have... Dorf. The guy who talks to CHEESE of all things. How this man ever became a champion is beyond me. He'll be eliminated just like the rest. And moving on.
More boos... duh.
Pain: Next we have Mike, Joe, and Linda... The Raggles. No I'm mistaken. The Ragnals. Not like it matters... just three more pathetic EWT stars to be crushed by myself. You think your the dominant ones in the EWT hmm? Well, I'll gladly disprove your beliefs when we meet.
More boos...
Pain: Botchberg and Curtrok... Two big men. Two powerful men. Two... worthless... men.
Boo boo boo...
Pain: Mad Matt Rage... next!
The crowd gets a " Who is that? " look
Pain: Ultimo Chocula. Oh now there's another respectable fellow. A former champion... hosted his own reality series... though I didn't really approve of the subject. But again... he's just another elimination to help me towards my goal of victory and the EWT Championship.
More boos.
Pain: And here we have... Micheal Cole?! Oh... thats very humorous. I don't think I can beat him. Oh the horror... an announcer... hold me! Ha! Cole is just a pathetic thin man who will be almost... no challenge. No wait... he will be exactly NO CHALLENGE.
The crowd boos again...
Pain: Theo Rumm. A name who shares a last name with an alcoholic beverage. Well Theodore... be prepared for a very painful beating at the hands of myself.
More crowd boos...
Pain: And now... The Balance of Power. Pizza... Destroyer... Epidemic... and Curly Long. Another respectable group of opponents. If they weren't in their own stable, perhaps I'd invite them to join the P.T.A. Or maybe I wouldn't. Nontheless, they will also be destroyed... and the Balance will be Unbalanced...
The crowd slightly cheers, but mostly boos.
Pain: Mean Gene Okerlund... Pass... Hmmm Les E Biase. I'm not exactly sure why a manager of sorts would enter the rumble, but no matter. Your money won't save you from the wrath of the P.T.A...
More crowd boos.
Pain: The Heartbreak Hitman Bret Micheals. One half of the Tag team Champions. A title that they won't be holding for long... at least, once I'm done with them.
More boos...
Pain: Chrysta the ice Queen? Who in the world is that? No matter... she'll be eliminated as well.
Crowd is still booing... and getting louder...
Pain: And that's it. Our " opponents " for the PIATR... well boys and girls, you will all be annhilated... by the P.T.A. And who knows... afterwards, you might learn... a lesson.
The Canceler kicks the screen and the Toomitron shuts off again...
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Aug 25, 2005 22:59:43 GMT -5
(Backstage Ultimo Chocula is trashing the place. He's tossing anything he can get his hands on and breaking anything in his path as he shouts obscenities at the top of his lungs. Reluctantly, Summ Guy tries to get a word with him.)
SG: "Hello, I'm Summ Guy and I really don't want to be here right now. Umm..Ultimo? You ok?"
(UC throws an entire pot of coffee at Summ Guy's head knocking him down and spilling coffee all over the place. UC grabs the mic off the floor and vents.)
UC: "Do I look ok to you, ya festering herpe?! Do I look FINE?! What the $%#@ do I have to do around here to get a fair shake? Every time, EVERY MUTHA&%$#ING TIME, I get a contenders match or a title shot some loser has to come in and interfere?! Why?! I should be the OX Division champion four times over right now! But I'm not! Because I keep getting screwed out every mutha*&%$ing time! I'm sick of it! You hear me?! I'm tired of this (*%#! Well guess what, Punchy! This time is the last time! Joe Raggle has just signed his mutha*^%$ing death warrant! You wanted me? You got it, you snot nosed invertebrate! I'm coming after you and when I get my hooks into your scrawny hide I'm not stopping until I hear something break! I ain't lyin' either! Raggle, I hope you enjoyed your brief stay here in the EWT! Cuz once I see your zit speckled face you are a ^%$#ing grease spot! Chocula over and out, peons!"
(UC throws the mic down and continues his path of destruction down the hallway. Summ Guy groggily gets up covered in decaf.)
SG: "There you have it. I'm Summ Guy and I'm lucky to be alive right now."
(Summ Guy passes out.)
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