Ratings
Dennis Stamp
Has a box of scraps
"YAY!"
Posts: 4,236
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Post by Ratings on May 16, 2006 16:16:22 GMT -5
(EWT ARENA)
SPEAKERS: "Get raw with the fever on the dance floor!"
("Stayin' Alive" by N-Trance plays throughout the arena and the crowd begins to boo when ELITE members, MAXX AWESOME & ERIK MAJORS -- dressed in their wrestling attire and carrying two duffle bags full of unknown contents -- head towards the ring with very serious expressions)
TONY "THE GARC" GARCYA: "The following tag team contest is scheduled for one-fall with a 20-minute time limit. First, making their way to the ring, representing the Elite, weighing in at a total combined weight of 450 pounds; "The Original Thriller" Maxx Awesome and "Semper Fi" Erik Majors: THE BOOGIE KNIGHTS 2K6!"
"THE INTELLECT" NICK RUSS: "Well, here come two men who since their arrival in EWT, have been waging war with the Connection."
JEROME "THE LORD" EAST: "You got that right NR. These two teams have been costing each other matches, ambushing each other and would love nothing more to take the other team out for good."
NICK RUSS: "Well, both Erik and Maxx look all business tonight, but, what's with the duffle bags they carried to the ring? What could possibly be in there?"
JEROME EAST: "I dunno. Eight heads?"
NICK RUSS: "I-I'm sorry, what? Eight heads? Did you just say eight heads?"
JEROME EAST: "Yeah, "8 Heads in a Duffle Bag". It's a Joe Pesci comedy."
NICK RUSS: "Really?"
JEROME EAST: "Yeah."
NICK RUSS: "Well, I loved him in "Casino". Tell me, what's this movie about?"
JEROME EAST: "Well, it stars him and David Spade and..."
NICK RUSS: "Okay, you know what? I just suddenly lost interest. Lets just call the next match."
(ERIK and MAXX set their duffle bags aside and eagerly await the arrival of their opponents. The lights dim and "Ich Will" by Rammstein plays. The crowd is overjoyed at the appearance of CRAIG KENDO and TONY "THE VIPER" CHANG)
GARCYA: "And their opponents... weighing in at a total combined weight of 589 pounds: Craig Kendo and "Viper" Tony Chang; THE CONNECTION!"
(Both KENDO & CHANG discard their entrance accessories and charge towards the ring. The two teams begin trading punches before the REF can even officially start the match. By the time the bell rings, KENDO Irish whips ERIK to the ropes and nails him with a back body drop. MAXX goes for a haymaker to CHANG, but CHANG ducks and catches MAXX with a Tajiri-like kick to the face. KENDO goes to pick up ERIK, but ERIK stuns him with a thumb to the eye and proceeds to throw him out of the ring between the top and middle rope. ERIK turns his attention to CHANG and clubs him in the back. ERIK proceeds to lift CHANG over his head, going for a military press slam, but CHANG is able to escape and locks his opponent into a cobra clutch. The crowd cheers as it appears that CHANG is going for "The Constrictor", but MAXX halts the move with a superkick. CHANG lays motionless in the center of the ring and MAXX takes this opportunity to do the robot. However, he stops dancing once he feels the presence of CRAIG KENDO behind him. MAXX turns around and is shoved by KENDO to the crowd. MAXX backs into a ring corner, where his duffle sits, begging the approaching KENDO for mercy. Completely focused on MAXX, KENDO is blindsided by ERIK MAJORS, yet his attacks appear to have little effect on KENDO. He goes to lift him up for a powerslam, but KENDO clubs him hard in the back and presses him over his head. Meanwhile, MAXX goes into his duffle bag and pulls out a cloth and a bottle of substance. The contents of the bottle is in questioned until the camera zooms in on the label: "CHLOROFORM". MAXX pours the chloroform onto the cloth in his hand. Then with KENDO's back facing him, MAXX sneaks up behind the bigger man and smothers his face with the rag. KENDO drops ERIK and tries to remove MAXX off his back, yet he begins to lose his balance, soon he stops moving and drops to one knee, now fighting to keep conscious. His eyes close and falls forward onto the mat, completely out cold. MAXX stands and motions to ERIK to bring CHANG to him. ERIK follows the smaller man's orders and whips the dazed CHANG to MAXX, chloroform-stained rag ready. Much like he did to KENDO before, MAXX presses the rag onto CHANG's face, and much like his mentor before, CHANG slowly begins to lose consciousness. ERIK makes sure that CHANG is out cold by leveling him with a BURNING LARIAT. The BOOGIE KNIGHTS 2K6 stand, staring down at two incapacitated CONNECTION members. They look each other and with delighted expressions, share a high five before gathering their duffle bags. They stand in the middle of the ring and reach into the bags and pull out... wigs, makeup and women's clothing. The crowd boos as ERIK slips on a curly blonde wig and pink tutu on KENDO, while MAXX applies a red wig with pigtails and yellow polk-a-dot bikini on CHANG. After applying makeup on the two, MAXX brings out a camera and takes pictures of the them, laughing in near hysteria along with ERIK. More than satisfied with their work, the two ELITE members head to the back, leaving the CONNECTION in such a humiliating state)
(FADE OUT)
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Ratings
Dennis Stamp
Has a box of scraps
"YAY!"
Posts: 4,236
|
Post by Ratings on May 16, 2006 17:19:39 GMT -5
(EWT ARENA) (TONIE "THE GARC" GARCYA stands in the center of the ring, mike ready) GARCYA: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall, where if Outlaw Chris James is victorious, his suspension is lifted." (The "4 Horsemen" theme plays throughout the arena) GARCYA: "First making his way to the ring; from the wild west of Texas; weighing in at 305 pounds: "OUTLAW" CHRIS JAMES!!!" (All eyes are on the entrance stage, awaiting for CHRIS JAMES to appear. Seconds go by and yet there is no sight of him. Suddenly, the crowd cheers as CHRIS JAMES is seen amongst the crowd, heading towards the ring dressed in street clothes -- a ripped sleeveless shirt, blue jeans, cowboy boots and taped fist. The ever so lovely MISS HALL is seen following her client through the audience. With intensity in his eyes, CHRIS JAMES hops over the barricade and helps MISS HALL over as well. The two enter the ring, with CHRIS JAMES completely focused on the entrance stage, no doubt waiting for his opponent) (The music fades out and "Keep On Liftin'" by dj nagureo begins to play; the crowd boos loudly almost as if on cue) GARCYA: "And his opponent, from--" ?: (from behind the stage curtain) "Cut the music! Cut my damn music, now!" (The crowd's displeasure grows as RATINGS, armed with a microphone steps onto the stage wearing his casual attire. He is not alone, though, as a dozen men dressed as security guards accompany him. From the stage to the ring, and vice versa, RATINGS & CHRIS JAMES glare at each other, before RATINGS speaks into the microphone) RATINGS: "What. The. Hell. Is. Going. On. HERE!? You're not suppose to be here, Chris! You're suppose to be back home wasting away, even though you should be locked away in the highest, most secured, correctional facility in this country after what you did to me! What is Toom E. Dangerously thinking!? This is punishment!? This is how psychopaths such as yourself are dealt with around here!? A timeout in the corner!? No TV for a week!? No seconds of desserts!? THIS IS TRUE LUNACY!!!" (The crowd begins an "ASS****" chant directed at RATINGS. Though bothered by this, he continues his rant) RATINGS: "Is this the way a person such as I, EWT's "Heir to Greatness", is awarded for all he has done for the company he made famous in the ever so short time he has been here? Putting me in a match with the man who shows nothing but malevolence and disrespect towards me. Well guess what, Outlaw or Mercenary or whatever the hell you want to be called! They say a man is only judged by the company they keep. And in the eyes of an intellect such as myself, anyone associated with you is just as vile and malicious as you; man OR woman. If you think I'm stepping in the ring against you with Miss Hall at ringside, you are greatly, GREATLY mistaken. With that being said, security, escort Miss Hall off the premises immediately!" (Security heads towards the ring and surround CHRIS JAMES & MISS HALL. A reluctant MISS HALL cooperates with the guards and is escorted out of the ring and through the crowd) RATINGS: (to the guards) "Be careful, gentlemen, she's possibly armed. Use force if necessary or if you just feel like it. People who do busy with people like him (Chris James) no doubt have it coming." (The security guards exit with MISS HALL, leaving CHRIS JAMES alone in the ring, his eyes burning with rage beaming at RATINGS, still on the entrance stage) RATINGS: "I now what your thinking, Chris. You're thinking about what kind of torment you are going to put me through once I step foot into that ring. You're thinking about how much you want me to suffer by your bloodstained hands. You're thinking about finishing the job you started last month that lead to your suspension." (The crowd cheers as a sick grin curls upon CHRIS JAMES' face while he nods) RATINGS: "Unfortunately for you, I refuse to fight against you tonight. I'm just a innocent victim who has unable to put his traumatized past behind him. But fear not, criminal. You still have a match and your suspension is still on the line. But what this match needs is a little flavor; some "international" flavor. Consider this an honor for you, Chris James, for tonight you are participating in the "Ratings International Showcase". If you defeat the opponent I have scheduled to face you tonight, then you're back in EWT. However, if you lose, you will never step foot into a EWT wrestling ring again! You go home and never return!" (pause) RATINGS: "Now, your opponent for this evening -- Oh, and Garcya, take notes, this is how a proper introduction is done correctly. Born and raised in the UK, he stands seven-feet and seven inches. That is not a typo, folks; 7'7". He weighs at 423 pounds. He is "The Battle Axe"! Ladies & gentlemen, I give you TITANIC TIM!" (The audience gasps in awe and suddenly CHRIS JAMES doesn't appear so eager to wrestling as he stares at the walking colossus known as TITANIC TIM. Believing he has one upped his nemesis, RATINGS walks down to the ring with TITANIC TIM, smiling as if he has nothing to worry about. Stepping over the top rope, TITANIC TIM stands in the ring, completely focused on CHRIS JAMES. A hesistant CHRIS JAMES stares back, but then turns his attention to RATINGS, who seems to be enjoying himself as he mocks CHRIS JAMES' current situation. Unable to withstand RATINGS' heckling, CHRIS JAMES charges foward going for RATINGS. Showing no interest in fighting CHRIS JAMES, RATINGS quickly retreats to the outside of the ring. Lucky for RATINGS, CHRIS JAMES is unable to pursue as TITANIC TIM stands in his path, blocking any chance of physical harm to RATINGS. Realizing that the only way to get to RATINGS is to pass TITANIC TIM, CHRIS JAMES throws a haymaker to the skull of the big man. The usually powerful strikes of CHRIS JAMES seem to have little effect on TITANIC TIM, who retaliates with a tomahawk chop right to the center of CHRIS JAMES' forehead and knocking him straight to the mat. JAMES finds himself in a daze from the attack and just as he slowly gets back to his feet, he finds himself back on the mat again after TT nails him with a knee to the face. TT lifts JAMES to his feet with incredible ease and pushes him into a ring corner. He follows up with overhead chops to the chest, electing some "WHOOs" from the crowd. TT Irish whips CHRIS JAMES across the ring into another corner, with CHRIS JAMES practically bouncing off the turnbuckles from the force. CHRIS JAMES crawls to the ropes to gather himself, but TT makes his way over to him and presses his foot against his head, as if he was trying to crush it. The REF steps in and breaks up the hold. With the REF distracted with TITANIC TIM, RATINGS gets up close to CHRIS JAMES and shouts, "Come on, Chris! What's wrong, Outlaw? Your job is on the line! Your career is on the line! You piece of garbage! You don't belong HERE!". The insults cease as CHRIS JAMES catches RATINGS off guard and grabs him by the shirt collar. Just as he is about to deck RATINGS, TT steps in and stuns CHRIS JAMES with a kick to the back of the head. RATINGS takes deep breaths and makes sure his shirt isn't damaged while back in the ring, TT brings CHRIS JAMES to his feet. He performs a delayed suplex--holding CHRIS JAMES up in the air for at least a good 10 seconds before falling backwards to the mat. CHRIS JAMES lets out a cry of pain while TT goes for a pin attempt) 1... 2... (CHRIS JAMES is able to get his shoulder up. TT picks him up and shoves him into the ring corner. He thrusts his shoulder into his stomach numerous times before the REF tries to break the two apart, TT, pushes the REF aside and returns to attack, but this enables CHRIS JAMES to seize the opportunity as he kicks TT right in the groin. The bag holds the area just wounded and fall to the ground. CHRIS JAMES scales to the top rope and hits a massive elbow drop onto TT. Cover by CHRIS JAMES) 1... 2... (RATINGS pulls the REF out of the ring before his hand hits the mat for a third and final time. Just as RATINGS is about to gloat, CHRIS JAMES reaches out of the ring and grabs him by the hair. Before any damage can be dished out, a revived TITANIC TIM smashes CHRIS in the back with a forearm. A sinister idea hatches in RATINGS' mind as he goes for a chair and orders TITANIC TIM to hold CHRIS JAMES. With chair in hand, RATINGS slides into the ring; the REF still stunned outside the ring from RATINGS taking him out moments ago. With a sick grin, RATINGS prepares to put CHRIS JAMES away and charges forward, but CHRIS JAMES gets out of the way and it is the skull of TITANIC TIM that RATINGS hits with the chair. RATINGS holds a hand to his forehead in disbelief as he looks on at what he has done. He is clotheslined by CHRIS JAMES over the top rope, sending him outside of the ring. CHRIS JAMES turns to TITANIC TIM, who is still in a stumbling daze from the chair shot. CHRIS JAMES rushes towards his opponent and takes him down with a spear. The REF gets back into the ring just as CHRIS JAMES covers TITANIC TIM) 1... 2... 3!!! *bell ring* (The crowd roars and cheers as CHRIS JAMES stands on the second turnbuckle, his arms raised and a giant grin on his face. CHRIS JAMES is back in EWT. The sound of the 4 Horsemen theme and GARCYA annoucing JAMES as the victor turns RATINGS' skin white and his jaw drops in shock. CHRIS JAMES heads to the back while RATINGS enters the ring, still holding the dented chair he used earlier. CHRIS JAMES looks back at RATINGS and points to him, mouthing the words, "you're next" and disappears behind the stage curtain) (RATINGS is left standing in the ring, where TITANIC TIM slowly gets to his feet. RATINGS lowers his head, his eyes wide, his bottom lip quivering, his hands shaking. His breathing grows faster by the second, and he grinds his teeth, enraged at how his plan fell apart. But it was not his fault; not in his mind anyway. As if he was erupting volcano, RATINGS whirls around and drills TITANIC TIM with the chair in the head for a second time; this time though was completely intentional. "This is your fault! You useless behemoth! YOUR FAULT!" he screams at the unconscious TITANIC TIM. RATINGS tosses the chair aside and heads to the back, furious at what has occured) (FADE OUT) WINNER: "OUTLAW" CHRIS JAMES
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Post by Gasoline: Gen. Tech Member on May 16, 2006 17:47:55 GMT -5
*We see Gasoline walking backstage when he runs into Coach*
Coach: Gasoline, I would just like to have a word with you about what happened toward the end of your match when you were attacked by Virus.
Gas: Virus, what you did out there was the worst mistake you ever made. You've made the Gas-powered monster very angry. And when monsters are angry, they'll attack anything *looks at Coach* and anyone in its path.
*Coach runs off*
Gas: So if I were you Virus, I'd watch my back. Because the next time we meet, I'm dropping a Gas Bomb on you!
*Gasoline walks off as we cut to the next segment*
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Post by curtrok on May 16, 2006 18:25:11 GMT -5
Announcer: The next match is scheduled for one fall, already in the ring, standing to my right weighing in at a plump 298 lbs GOLDBERG! And his opponent hailing from Brooklyn New York, the self proclaimed reigning EWT Full Time Wrestler Champion, CURTROK.
*Curtrok comes out to the ring looking a little bulkier than usual he's wearing his customary black tights and F.T.W T-shirt.*
*The match starts off the two men circle each other Goldberg hits the ropes and BAM a spear! Both men collapse in a heap. The ref administers a 10 count.*
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 ..........
*Curtrok gets to his keens and covers Goldberg.
1 2 3 !!
Announcer: Here is your winner at 48 seconds into the match CURTROK.
*Curtrok takes off his t-shirt to reveal a Steel plate strapped to his chest. Curtrok takes the house mic.*
CR: Bet you didn't see that one coming. Four weeks ago I made my return amid much fan fare. At that time I wrestled Theo Rumm to a time limit finish in a match where I carried him like the dead weight that he is. Three weeks ago I beat Edge, last week Chrstian, and now this big bald sonofabitch is at my mercy!
What do I get for it? Do I move up in the card? No! Do I get a real challenger? No! I get to be a curtian jerker with losers like this. Let me show you exactly what Curtrok does to losers.
*Curtrok slides out of the ring and begins to look under it. He pulls out his patented black baseball bat, and slides back into the ring. Curtrok begins to blugeon Goldberg about the head and ears screaming "This is what I do to losers! 12 security guards and 3 refs have to restrain Curtrok and drag him out of the building.*
Break.
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Queen Rosa
Mike the Goon
All hail the queen!
Posts: 30
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Post by Queen Rosa on May 16, 2006 19:19:45 GMT -5
*Hoss Matthews is backstage with Rosa*
Hoss: I'm being joined now by the lovely Rosa. Rosa, so far you've made it into the semifinals and will be facing your toughest competitor yet, Carla O Woe. What are your thoughts on that?
Rosa: Well Hoss, everyone knows that Carla and I didn't see eye to eye in the past. We had our wars both inside and outside the ring. And I know I said some things that I regret saying now. But now that I've seen the error of my ways, I can honestly say that I'm thrilled to be stepping back into the ring with her. She is one of the premier athletes in the business, and I respect what she's done not just for the GND Divison, but for women's wrestling in general. Carla, I'm willing to put our past differences aside if you are. So let's give the fans what they want: a good, clean, old-fashioned wrestling match. And may the best woman win.
*Rosa heads off toward the ring*
Hoss: All right, let's send things back to ringside!
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Post by The Bad Man on May 16, 2006 20:26:55 GMT -5
(After a brief advert interval we are back at ringside)
The lights dim a little and flicker as 'Ghetto Bird' by Ice Cube plays over the loudspeaker
LILLIAN: The following is the semi-final of the Queen of the Ring Tournament ... introducing first from the hard streets of New York ... she is the 2006 Harlot Hunt winner .. D'Zee!!
On that D'Zee comes out to a chorus of Boos and heads down the aisle, a surly look across her face as she checks her wrist taping and climbs into the ring
JOSH MATTHEWS: Hi everyone, I'm Josh Matthews alongside Tazz for this semi-final of the Queen of the Ring ... and this is certainly going to be one strong match from both competitors .. Tazz how do you see this going down tonight?
TAZZ: I tell ya, Josh. This match is going to be off the hook! I think Miss Geisha may have a tough time as this D'Zee girl is just not freindly to anyone! ... back in the Red Hook District it wasn't a place for the faint hearted, but this D'Zee is just down a few levels more, she's rotten to the core!
back in the ring as 'Ghetto Bird' fades out, Lillian Garcia begins to announce again
LILLIAN: and her opponent ... she hails from Kyoto, Japan ...
The opening strands of 'House of the Rising Sun' by the Animals plays out across the arena
LILLIAN: ... and is accompanied to the ring by her bodyguard Penguin ... she is ... "Miss" Jackie Geisha!
And out comes "Miss" Jackie Geisha in full oriental robes alongside her bodyguard the massive Penguin. The pair head to the ring as the crowd cheers for them. Penguin lowers the ropes for Miss Geisha whilst D'Zee folds her arms as if uninterested in her opponent. Geisha removes her Kimono and prepares to wrestle ... D'Zee coldly stares Geisha down smashing her fists together. Penguin leaves the ring and watches from the floor as Geisha and D'Zee walk toward each other, only a few paces apart in the squared-circle
The Bell Rings
Miss Geisha bows in respect to her opponent, D'Zee doesn't give a crap about such gestures and nails Miss Geisha with a sharp kick to the head sending her back first to the canvas! ... D'Zee follows with some repeated closed fists to the face. The Crowd starts a "D'Zee sucks" chant as Geisha tries to protect herself ... eventually the Referee forces D'Zee off her after a 4 count! ... Miss Geisha gets back to her feet, while D'Zee mockingly beckons her to bow again!
JOSH: D'Zee has started strong Tazz!
TAZZ: True, but I think that D'Zee might be a bit over-confident here after her cheap tactics.
Geisha approaches D'Zee cautiously, D'Zee swings a forearm but its caught by Miss Geish and twists it! ... Geisha follows with an armbar takedown and after a brief struggle manges to get D'Zee's back to the mat in a pinning position.
1,2 ...
D'Zee kicks out but Geisha holds on. Both women get to there feet but Geisha still has D'Zee's arm locked up. D'Zee tries to elbow Geisha off but to no avail as Miss Geisha dodges the attempts and nails a bulldog and then follows with a cover
1,2 ...
D'Zee kicks out and rolls to the ropes. Geisha follows and attempts to grab her but gets a couple of low kicks to the gut instead. D'Zee using this gets to her feet and flings Geisha into the ropes. Geisha comes straight back into a snap powerslam by D'Zee! .. cover ...
1,2 ..
Geisha kicks out! D'Zee annoyed stomps away on Geisha, and then lifts her for a suplex attempt .. but Geisha blocks it and tries for her own ... but D'Zee blocks and smashes her fist into Geisha's ribs, which she then follows up with a nice suplex! ... cover ...
1,2 ...
Geisha kicks out again! ... D'Zee is furious and kicks the ropes in frustration, this gives Geisha the chance to recover and locks in a headlock, D'Zee attemps to backdrop her way out of it but Geisha denies this and rolls D'Zee into a headlock takedown instead. Geisha continues to apply the pressure and modifys the headlock into a sleeper hold! ... D'Zee may be fading ... the referee goes to check .... but D'Zee has managed to get out of it with a poke to the eye! ... Miss Geisha stumbles around holding her eye ... D'Zee hits a reverse DDT and covers ...
1,2,3 ....
No Geisha barely kicked out! ... D'Zee is incensed by this refusal to stay down attitude on Geisha's part. D'Zee goes to the outside and grabs a chair!
JOSH: D'Zee could get disqualified with that, what is she thinking?
TAZZ: Ya' know Josh I just can't figure out how the chair will help!
D'Zee returns to the ring steel chair in hand. She prepares to swing it like a baseball bat with the intent on smashing it over Miss Geisha's head. The referee is frantically telling her not to do it! Penguin gets up on the apron and grabs the chair from D'Zee! ... D'Zee turns and punches the chair into Penguin's face who falls to the floor but remains on his feet! ... Geisha recovered from the reverse DDT rolls up the distracted D'Zee ...
1,2 ...
No! .. D'Zee has reversed into her own pinning manouver! ...she's using the ropes for leverage and is holding the tights! .. the referee counts!
1,2,3!
Bell Rings
LILLIAN: Your winner .... D'Zee!!
D'Zee rolls out the ring up the ramp her hand raised in tainted victory. Back in the ring and Penguin attends to his boss, who is shouting Japanese curses at D'Zee for that display of cheating!
JOSH: What a display of dishonest wrestling by D'Zee! ... I can't believe she has got to the final this way!!
TAZZ: It was a low move, but it has payed off big time!
(As the chords of Ghetto Bird play on accompanied by loud Booing from the audience, we go to a commercial)
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Queen Rosa
Mike the Goon
All hail the queen!
Posts: 30
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Post by Queen Rosa on May 16, 2006 22:10:37 GMT -5
*We cut back to ringside when "It's My Time" starts playing*
Ring Announcer: The following contest is a Queen of the Ring Semifinal Match and is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Miami, Florida, ROSA!
*Rosa walks out to a big pop. She shakes hands with fans on her way down the ramp. She gets in the ring and poses on the turnbuckle. Then "She's Got Issues" hits*
RA: And her opponent, from Rochester, New Hampshire, CARLA O. WOE!
*Carla walks out to another big pop. She throws up the horns and heads toward the ring. She slides in the ring. Rosa walks toward the middle of the ring and offers a handshake. Carla thinks about it for a while and accepts. The crowd cheers for this*
The bell rings to start the match. Rosa and Carla circle the ring. They lock up. Rosa applies a headlock. Carla counters it into a back drop, but Rosa lands on her feet and locks in an arm wrench. Carla climbs to the ropes and jumps down, turning the arm wrench into an armdrag. The fans cheer the standoff. A smile comes across both women's faces.
They lock up again. This time Carla applies a head lock. Rosa whips Carla to the ropes, taking her down with a hip toss. She gets in a quick leg drop. She picks up Carla and hits some kicks and punches. She whips Carla to the ropes again. Carla ducks an attempted clothesline, jumps on the second rope, and takes Rosa down with a cross body. Carla runs to the ropes and hits a flying head scissors. Rosa gets up and is met with a dropsault. She rolls out of the ring to take a breather. But before that can happen, Carla hits a corkscrew dive onto her at ringside. The fans are amazed at what they saw.
Fans: GND! GND! GND!
Carla picks up Rosa and rolls her into the ring for a cover.
1... 2...
Rosa kicks out. Carla picks her up and takes her to the corner. She attacks with some punches and chops. She whips Rosa to the opposite corner. Carla goes for a Stinger Splash, but Rosa moves out of the way. However, Carla lands on the second rope and climbs up. She turns around and dives at Rosa, but Rosa sees it coming and counters with a dropkick. Rosa picks her up and performs a snap suplex. After hitting an Asai moonsault, she covers Carla.
1... 2...
Carla kicks out. Rosa gets her to her feet and hits an STK. She follows up with a flipover splash and a wristlock. Carla is able to get a leg on the ropes, breaking the hold. Rosa goes to pick her up, but Carla counters it into a Northern Lights Suplex pin.
1... 2...
Rosa kicks out. She runs at Carla, but Carla takes her down with a drop toe hold. Carla keeps on the offensive with a Liontamer. In an amazing feat of strength, Rosa pulls herself up and turns it into a hurricanrana. She crawls to the ropes to help herself up. Carla runs at her, but Rosa backdrops her to the outside. Rosa takes a few moments to regain her composure, then runs to the ropes, jumps on the top rope, and hits a dragonrana onto Carla! The fans are really fired up now.
Fans: HOLY S***! HOLY S***! HOLY S***!
Both women get to their feet and start a chopfest, with the crowd WOOOOOOOOing after each chop. Rosa eventually ends it with a kick to the midsection and bangs Carla's head on the side of the ring. Rosa rolls her back into the ring. She hits a springboard leg drop and goes for a pin.
1... 2...
Carla kicks out. Rosa picks her up and hits a snapmare followed by a pullover neckbreaker. Next she slaps on the STF. By this time there are dueling chants of "LET'S GO ROSA!"/"LET'S GO CARLA!" Carla uses all her strength to reach the ropes, but she makes it there, forcing Rosa to break the hold. But Rosa's not quite done yet. She drags Carla out to the middle of the ring and slaps on a figure four. Carla is screaming out in pain. The fans are on the edge of their seats. Eventually Carla is able to turn over, so the pain is now on Rosa. Rosa crawls her way to the ropes. She gets to her feet and picks up Carla. She whips her to the ropes for a back body drop, but Carla counters with a kick to the head. Then she hits Rosa with a running enziguri. The ref starts counting to 10.
1 2 3...Both women are starting to come to 4 5...They're starting to get up 6 7 8...Rosa is now up 9
Carla is also up now. Rosa gives her a hard right. Carla answers back with a hard right of her own. They continue to exchange right hands until Carla gets the advantage. She whips Rosa to the ropes and hits a dropsault. Next comes a couple of armdrags and a swinging neckbreaker. Carla goes for a cover.
1... 2...
Rosa kicks out. Carla stays on the offensive with a few punches. She runs to the ropes and is met with a spinning heel kick from Rosa. Rosa keeps things going by banging Carla's head on the turnbuckle. After a few chops, she whips her to the opposite corner. Rosa runs at her with a handspring elbow attack followed by a facecrusher. She goes for a pin.
1... 2...
Carla kicks out. Rosa picks her up and hits a 3-handle credenza. She climbs to the ropes, but Carla gets up and stops her. Carla now climbs the ropes and hits a hurricanrana. She signals for the Eye Candy and the crowd pops. She climbs the ropes, but Rosa gets up and attacks her from behind. Rosa climbs the ropes from the other side and does a rolling powerbomb. She covers Carla.
1... 2...
CARLA KICKS OUT! Fans are holding their breath awaiting the outcome. Deciding it's time to end this match, Rosa picks Carla up for Northern Lights Driver. But Carla wiggles her way out of it and takes Rosa down with a jumping calf kick. She picks Rosa up and is about to hit the Donhavacow, but Rosa blocks it and hits her with a Capoeira Kick. Rosa drops to her knees, but gets back up. Carla uses the ropes to help herself back up. Rosa runs at her, but Carla back drops her over the top rope. However, Rosa lands on the apron. She lands a punch onto Carla. She jumps up for a springboard dive, but Carla counters with a superkick. This gets an "OHHHHHHHH!" from fans. Carla crawls over and covers Rosa.
1...
2...
ROSA KICKS OUT! Carla can't believe it, and neither can the fans.
Fans: THIS IS AWESOME! *clap clap clapclapclap* THIS IS AWESOME! *clap clap clapclapclap*
Both women get back to their feet. Carla goes for an enziguri, but Rosa catches her leg and spins it around. Then she picks up Carla and hits the Northern Lights Driver. She goes for the cover.
1...
2...
3! *Bell rings*
RA: Here is your winner, ROSA!
*The referee raises Rosa's arm as the crowd cheers loudly. Rosa walks over to Carla and helps her up. Carla asks for a mic*
Carla: Rosa, we may have had our differences in the past...but one thing that hasn't changed is that you're one hell of a competitor. We took each other to the limit, and tonight, you were the better woman. You've come a long way from the days when we first battled. You've grown not only as a wrestler...but also as a person. As bright a future as your career is, tonight it just got that much brighter. So Rosa, I tip my hat to you.
*Carla offers a handshake, which Rosa accepts. The two women raise their arms in the ring. The crowd starts a "ROSA" chant. Carla takes part in the chant as well. Carla eventually exits the ring. She throws up the horns and salutes Rosa one more time before heading backstage. Rosa does a little more celebrating in the ring before sliding out and shaking hands with fans at ringside and heading backstage*
*Cut to a commercial*
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Post by Chrysta on May 17, 2006 4:40:48 GMT -5
*Trish Stratus’s music plays as Ms. White walks out to the arena, the crowd booing her along the way.*
Chimel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the Girl Next Door championship! Making her way first is the challenger, from Montreal, Canada…Ms. WHITE!
*As Ms. White gets into the ring, her music dies down, and “Ice Queen” takes it’s place. Chrysta comes out to many boos as she wears her blue furcoat and the GND title around her waist. She walks down to the ring, and gets inside. As she takes her fur coat and title off, she asks for a microphone.*
Chrysta: My dear Ms. White…I only wish to inform you…despite whatever occurs in the match…despite whatever tactic I may pull in order to keep my Girl Next Door title…I love you.
*Ms. White nods to this, and she and Chrysta walk to the ring center, and hug one another. The bell rings, and the two girls circle around, then lock up in the center. Ms. White is able to get Chrysta into an armbar, but Chrysta is able to reverse into a hammerlock. However, Ms. White grabs the ropes, and Chrysta lets go at three. Chrysta whips Ms. White into the ropes and then hits her with a drop toe-hold to the ground. Chrysta tries to put Ms. White into a Mexican surfboard, but White struggles herself out of it and gets up off the ground, and delivers a hard kick to the back of Chrysta. Ms. White apologizes out loud, but continues as she pummels Chrysta in the face a few times. Ms. White picks Chrysta up and whips her into a corner, and runs at her, but Chrysta elbows Ms. White before she can connect. Chrysta climbs the top rope, and dives off with an axe handle smash. Chrysta climbs the ropes again for the Falling Icicle, but Ms. White is already up, punching at Chrysta several times, and then then steps back a little, runs at Chrysta, and flips over and nails the Stratusphere to Chrysta. Ms. White picks Chrysta up again and whips her into a corner. Ms. White grabs Chrysta into a headlock and goes for the Stratusfaction, but Chrysta is able to maintain her balance and hits a back suplex to Ms. White. Chrysta then climbs the top rope and nails the Falling Icicle. Chrysta goes to pin.*
1!2!3!
*With that, the match is over, and Chrysta is handed her GND title. She helps Ms. White up off the canvas, and helps her up the ramp as they walk backstage*
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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on May 17, 2006 9:51:34 GMT -5
*We're back at ringside as "Violence Fetish" hits*
Ring Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the EWT Tri-State Championship. Introducing the challenger, from Scranton, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 234 lbs., the Innovator of FUN, JOE RAGNAL!
*Joe Ragnal walks out to a big pop. He has his bag of FUN with him. He shakes hands with fans on his way down the ramp. He gets in the ring and poses on the turnbuckle. Then "Sexy Guy" hits*
RA: And his opponent, being accompanied by Sensational Cherry, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, weighing in at 232 lbs., he is the Tri-State Champion, the Heartbreak Hitman BRET MICHAELS!
*HBH walks out with Cherry by his side. Fans are booing loudly, but HBH has a big smile on his face as he has his Tri-State title back. He and Cherry get in the ring and pose, which makes fans boo even louder. HBH hands the title off to Cherry and she exits the ring*
The bell rings to start the match. HBH signals for a test of strength. Joe accepts, but then HBH kicks him in the stomach. HBH holds Joe's head up and gives him a few hard rights. He whips him to the ropes and gives him an elbow. Next he takes Joe to the corner and attacks with punches and chops. Soon Joe takes over and unleashes his own flurry of punches and chops on HBH. HBH stumbles forward into a hurracanrana. Joe then runs at HBH with a Shining Wizard. He covers him.
1... 2...
HBH kicks out. Joe picks him up and hits a back drop. Next he slingshots HBH over the top rope to the outside. Joe gets the crowd riled up. Then he runs to the ropes and flips onto HBH at ringside. He looks under the ring and pulls out a trampoline, which gets a big pop. He sets it up, but before he can use it, HBH attacks him from behind with a double axe handle to the back. HBH then bangs Joe's head on the side of the ring. He attempts to bang his head on the steel steps, but Joe blocks it and bangs HBH's head on the steps instead. Joe follows up with a dropkick. As HBH gets back up, Joe runs, jumps on the trampoline, and takes him down with a spear. Joe rolls HBH back into the ring. He jumps on the trampoline again and this time hits a Swanton Bomb. He covers HBH.
1... 2...
HBH kicks out again. Joe picks him up and is about to whip him to the ropes, but HBH blocks it with a kick and takes Joe down with a DDT. Joe is about to get up when HBH kicks him in the head. HBH then hits him with a running knee strike. He picks Joe up and drops him with a jumping arm breaker. He goes for a cover.
1... 2...
Joe kicks out. HBH grabs his arm and does a spinning arm hold. He takes Joe to the corner and stomps a mudhole in him. Next HBH hangs him upside down in a Tree of Woe. He charges at Joe with a splash. Afterward Joe falls to the mat. HBH runs to the ropes and delivers a knee drop to the head. He picks up Joe and performs a slingshot suplex. He lands a standing moonsault before covering him.
1... 2...
Joe kicks out. HBH picks him up and takes him down with a kneebreaker. Then he applies a reverse leg lock. With the crowd solidly behind him, Joe struggles to reach the ropes. He eventually makes it there, forcing HBH to break the hold. HBH poses in the ring. Cherry looks on in admiration while the fans boo the living hell out of him. He climbs to the second rope. He jumps off for a diving elbow, but Joe moves at the last second. The ref starts counting to 10.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
Both men are now up. They exchange blows at each other until Joe gets the upper hand. He whips HBH to the ropes and hits a back body drop. Next he slingshots HBH into the tunbuckle and follows up with a flying head scissors into a DDT. Joe hits a split-legged moonsault off the top rope and pins HBH.
1... 2...
HBH kicks out. Joe picks him up and rams him into the corner. After he few shoulder thrusts, he charges at him. However, HBH moves and whips Joe into the turnbuckle, with his shoulder hitting the ringpost. HBH rolls him up for a pin, putting his legs on the ropes.
1... 2...
Joe kicks out. HBH picks him and bodyslams him. He climbs to the top rope and connects with an elbow drop. He covers Joe.
1... 2...
Joe kicks out again. Now getting frustrated, HBH decides to finish him off with some Sweet Chin Muzak. But Joe catches his leg. HBH decides to turn it into an enziguri, but misses. Joe dropkicks HBH in the back, sending him toward the ropes on his knees. Joe runs at him for a 619, which gets a huge pop. He then hits HBH with the Styles Clash. He goes for a cover.
1... 2...
HBH kicks out! Joe decided it's time for the Cloudbreaker. He climbs to the top rope, but Cherry comes over to distract him. While this is happening, HBH nails him with a right hand. He climbs the ropes from inside the ring and hits a superplex. He rolls over and lays a hand on Joe for a cover.
1... 2...
Joe kicks out! HBH rolls out of the ring and heads toward Joe's bag of FUN. He pulls out a steel chair. He slides back in the ring and runs toward Joe, but Joe hits a spinning heel kick to the chair, which hits HBH's face and knocks him down. Joe picks up the chair and is about to use it, but the ref comes up from behind and takes the chair away. The fans boo this. While the ref tosses the chair out of the ring, Cherry slides the Tri-State title in the ring toward HBH. Joe picks him up and gets knocked out with a shot to the head. HBH then slides the title out of the ring and slaps on the Sharpshooter. The ref turns around. He notices that Joe is knocked out, so he calls for the bell.
RA: Here is your winner by submission and STILL the EWT Tri-State Champion, the Heartbreak Hitman BRET MICHAELS!
*But HBH is not done just yet. He picks up Joe and hits him with Sweet Chin Muzak. He then grabs a mic*
HBH: Hey Joe, when your brother regains consciousness, tell him he can forget about EVER getting a title shot as long as I'm champion!
*HBH and Cherry celebrate and pose in the ring much to the dismay of fans*
*Cut to a commercial*
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,410
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on May 17, 2006 13:15:52 GMT -5
Mr. Ken Kennedy: The following contest is scheduled for one-fall and has a 45-minute time limit!
"Kennny!"
"Mikey!"
"Nicky"
"Johnny!"
"Mitch!"
"And together, we're..."
"THE SPIRIT SQUAD!!!!"
And out come the Spirit Squad jumping up and down and doing backflips and whatnot. Kennedy is on the mat right now holding his sides from laughing. The Spirit Squad slides into the ring and do more foolish things, even bringing out a trampoline and doing stunts. Kennedy is dying from laughter but regains his composure after three minutes.
Kennedy: First, from, I don't know, their high school I guess, weighing in at a combined weight of 923 lbs., they are, the Spirit Squad!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Spirit Squad!
"Remember The Name" by Fort Minor hits as the entire Third Street Warriors come out to a hyooooge pop.
Kennedy: And their opponents, from Chicago IL, Bolt Bacana! From Minneapolis Minnesota, Jason Maverick! Also from Chicago IL, Jessica! From Hell's Kitchen, New York, Scott Andrews! And finally, now residing in Miami, FL, he is Chad Michaels!!
What?! You were expecting me to do my usual schtick like I did with the Spirit Squad?! Dream on!"
Kennedy gets out of the ring as the Warriors slide in and pose for the crowd on the turnbuckles. The Spirit Squad is talking amongst themselves and Mitch pulls out "spirit straws" to decide who goes first. And it's.........Kenny. The Spirit Squad go to their corner while Kenny awaits his opponent, who turns out to be Jason Maverick.
-----Ding Ding Ding!-----
The match starts off with Kenny trying to bum rush Maverick, but Maverick hops over Kenny and kicks him hard in the back. Maverick grabs Kenny's head and picks him up to a vertical base before slamming him haaard onto the mat ala Saving Grace. Kenny is in pain as Maverick runs to the ropes and hits a Rolling Thunder onto Kenny's ribs. Maverick picks up Kenny and drags him to his corner before bashing his head onto Andrews' boot. Maverick tags Andrews in as Kenny tags Mitch. Andrews calls for a test of strength and Mitch reluctantly agrees. Both men seem to be giving it their all, with Andrews trying to force Mitch down to the mat. Mitch starts to go down as the ref goes into his position to see if Mitch's shoulders will touch the mat. Mitch gets closer and ccloser and is almost touching the mat before giving Andrews a swift kick to the junk, causing Andrews to let go.
Mitch is on the assault now, with a dropkick to the head knocking Andrews down. Mitch tags in Nicky and they both grab hold of Andrews before hitting a double suplex on the big guy. Nicky locks in a sleeper hold as Andrews tries to fight him off. Nicky locks in in thighter and tighter as Andrews seems to be fading. Andrews uses a last ditch effort and runs full speed into the turnbuckles before sandwiching Nicky in between. Andrews is groggy but gets up and picks up Nicky before giving him a Shoryu Kick (Chick Kick). Andrews walks over and tags Michaels in before taking a breather.
Nicky starts to get up but is met almost immediantly with a Shining Wizard. Michaels then taunts the rest of the SS before locking in a Sharpshooter and daring them to save their partner. Nicky is screaming in pain as Michales grabs his head and switches it into a standing Sharpshooter!! Nicky is screaming in pain as the SS rush in to save their partner. The Warriors (save Jessica) run in as well and a huge melee is taking place. Michaels grabs Johnny and kicks him in the gut before hitting the Hart Attack!!! Michaels almost immediantly gets attacked from behind by Mikey as Andrews and Maverick are dealing with Kenny and Mitch.
Nicky seems to have recovered from the standing Sharpshooter as he climbs to the top, prepared to fly. Jessica crotches him on the ropes and connects with forearms before signaling for Bolt to come here. Bolt tosses Johnny out of the ring and runs over to the corner as Jessica whispers something to him. Bolt and Jessica then climb the ropes and get prepared for a double suplex. Johnny gets back in and tries to fight it off before he and Mikey go for a double back suplex on the couple. Chad and Maverick see this and go over and position themselves next to Johnny and Mikey for a back suplex as well. Kenny sees this and treis to hit an Electric Chair-type maneuver, but Andrews goes over there and grabs Kenny in a powerbomb position. The corwd is going wild no as Andrews hits the powerbomb with superhuman strength, causing Kenny, Michaels, Maverick, Johnny, Mikey, Jessica, Bolt, and Nicky down onto the mat!!!
Crowd: THIS IS AWESOME!! (clap clap clap clap clap) THIS IS AWESOME!! (clap clap clap clap clap)
All the competitors are down except for Andrews, who's taking a breather after that superhuman feat. Andrews grabs Nicky (who took the brunt of the Tower Of Doom) and positions for the end. Andrews picks Nicky up for a powerbomb and instead of changing it into a piledriver, he runs and hits the running powerbomb!! Andrews goes for the pin....
1...
2...
3....KICK OUT!!!! Andrews can't believe it as Nicky got the shoulder up. Bolt starts to stir as Jessica is still in pain from the TOD. Michaels makes his way up and grabs a half-consciouss Mitch and signals to Andrews. Andrews grabs Mitch and picks him up for the Musclee Buster as Michaels gets ready fro the fall-front powerbomb, aka the New Millenium!!! Andrews goes for the move when Nicky LOW-BLOWS MICHAELS!!! Meanwhile, Mitch rakes th eyes of Andrews just as he was about to hit the Muscle Buster. Mitch hits a dropkick to the face and rolls up Andrews with a fist full of tights...
1...
2...
3....SAVE BY JESSICA!!!! Mitch goes to confront Jessica, who looks scared to death. Mitch goes to hit her when Sweet Chin Music out of nowhere! Michaels collapses on the mat as Mitch is down and out. Bolt gets up and picks Nicky up and hits the Cataract!! Bolt is still to weak to go for the pin, but Nicky is out of it. Johnny goes to the top rope and prepares to hit the amazing leg-drop, when Jessica pushes him and Johnny crotches himself on the top rope. Jessica climbs the ropes and waves to the crowd before walking on the top and hitting the New School! Johnny is dazed as Bolt picks up Mikey and positions him on the top rope. Michales is up right now and grabs Nicky before giving him stiff forearm shots and placing him next to the turnbuckle. Andrews catches his breath and picks up Mikey before giving him the Shoryu Kick and picking him up once again. Jessica grabs Kenny and kicks him with the gut before hitting a jumping leg drop to the back of the head. Maverick and Mitch are both trading shots until Mitch kicks him int he gut and goes for a suplex. Andrews attacks him from the back and tosses him to the turnbuckle before Irish Whipping Maverick, who hits a dropkick right to Mitch's gut.
Michaels yells "TSW!" as he ascends the turnbuckle. Michaels has Nicky in the Coca Cola Cliff Drop position as Bolt has Johnny in a DDT position. Andrews is on a turnbuckle and has Mikey in an Awesome Bomb position as Maverick has Mitch in a torture rack on the turnbuckle. Jessica picks Kenny up and has him up in the air and drives him down, hitting the Farewell To Arms, just as Michaels hits the Coca Cola Cliff Drop, Bolt hits the Bolt From The Blue, Andrews hits the Devil May Cry, and Maverick hits the Burning Hammer all at the same time, making the ref bounce three feet in tha air. All the Warriors have the pin over the SS....
1....
2....
3........!!!!
Kennedy: Here are your winners, the Third Street Warriors!!!
The Warriors get back up, exhausted but victorious. The crowd starts chanting " This Is Awesome!" as Andrews and Maverick have tears in their eyes, as they know this was thier last match. Andrews and Michaels hug as Maverick and Bolt do the same. Jessica is openly crying as Andrews and Bolt bro-hug as Maverick and Michaels do so as well. The crowd is chating "Thank You Warriors!" as Andrews and Maverick go to the top rope and acknowledge the fans. The Warriors raise each other's hands in victory and stand triumphant in the ring, for the last time.
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Post by Joel, Mike, Currently...? on May 17, 2006 18:41:22 GMT -5
It's all about the Pentiums, baby...
Ladies and Gentlemen, as per usual, it's the Nyrds! Out they come, Joel, Mike, and now Keiko. Mike is fully healed after last week and is rarin' to go, and it shows through his all over the place dance moves. Joel does a usual pop n' lock, and Keiko skip-hops to the beat. Joel and Mike hop up onto the apron, and slingshot-flip into the ring. Keiko gets up on the apron, claps, and points at her boys. Joel drops down to repeat his headspin from last week, but Mike stops him. Mike then hits his Windmill, giving it a bit more luster than usual. Joel and Mike throw up their N's, as Keiko does so as well on the outside. "Pomp and Circumstance" plays, and Principal Pain, followed by his giant-sized partner that is Canceler, make their way out to the boos of all. Pain waves off the boos, and walks down to the ring. Canceler threatens fans who get a little too uppity. Both roll into the ring, and both raise their hands in confidence (not Chance). Canceler heads to their corner, leaving Pain to start, and Joel decides begin as Mike goes to his corner.
Pain goes to lock up with Joel, but Joel drops to the mat and dropkicks Pain in the shin. Pain drops to his knees, and Joel hops up to hit an enziguri. However, Pain catches the kick, and throws his leg away. Joel spins around and hits the enziguri he was looking for. Joel runs to the ropes and lionsaults off the second rope. Pain hops up and dropkicks Joel in the chest as he comes near, and Joel crashes and burns. Pain hooks Joel's leg, but Mike hits a springboard legdrop on Pain to break up the count. Canceler comes in, but Mike spinning back heel kicks him in the stomach, and he bends over. Mike hops up onto Cancelers back, and stands on his feet. Mike then jumps up, and hits a hurricanrana on Canceler, which sends him rolling. Mike gets up to celebrate, and is promptly clotheslined from behind by Principal Pain.
Pain lifts up Mike and hits a German Suplex, and keeps held on for a pin. However, the ref won't count, as Mike isn't the legal man. The legal man hits a reverse hurricanrana on Pain as he argues with the ref, and gets a two count. Joel rushes Pain, who reverses it into a Complete Shot. Pain then locks in an armbar, ripping at his arm for a few. Then Joel spins out of it, and locks Pain in a chancery. Joel knocks up Pain with a few knees to the head, then lets go of the hold, and tags in Mike. Mike springboards in again, and hits a DDT as Pain gets to his feet. Mike does the most technical move anyone has ever seen him do with a half nelson, and rolls Pain over for a pin. Canceler breaks up the count, as Pain rolls over to a nearby corner...
Canceler throws Mike to the outside, and follows him out. They both begin to brawl at ringside, Canceler having the distinct size advantage. Until that is when Joel sails over the ropes with a sommersault corkscrew plancha (the spirit of Aguila LIVES!), taking out everyone.. But what of Principal Pain you ask? As the ref goes to check out the carnage at ringside, Keiko climbs up to the top rope of the corner where Principal Pain had rolled. The crowd rumbles with anticipation. Keiko raises her arms, rears back, hops once, and uses the spring to hit a 630 OFF THE TOP! The crowd explodes, as Keiko rolls to the outside before the ref finds out what happened. Mike and Joel pull Canceler back into the ring, and go to hit a double DDT. But then, Canceler comes back to life, and hits some kind of double northern lights suplex on the Nyrds!
Canceler revives Principal Pain, and Pain goes to the top rope. Pain dizzily wavers around, but then snaps back to reality, and smiles a crude smile. With Canceler, he hits the Expulsion on Mike, which for some reason seems to elicit a pop. When Pain covers Mike for the pinfall, it is revealed the pop wasn't for the Expulsion, but rather that Limey, Spaz, and Gasoline have ran out! Limey hits an Elbow Drop off the top onto Pain, and Spaz takes Canceler out with a spinning kick to the temple. Both PTA and Generation Tech members roll out of the ring and brawl at ringside, and the ref calls for the bell. It's a no contest.
Joel and Mike look at eachother, and give the "What the f***?" arm shrug. They then climb adjacent turnbuckles on the side of the ring where GenTech and PTA are brawling, and hit dual Shooting Star Presses onto the brou-ha-ha. Really, for no apparent reason. The refs finally run out to break everything up, and we have to go to commercial. Dang it.
NEW COMMERCIAL FOR THE VW: A couple drive around in their new VW, and a guy sticks his head out of his car, speaking into a megaphone.
Guy with Megaphone: I JUST LIKE THE CAR. WHY CAN I NOT HAVE A NICE CAR? I MEAN, LOOK AT IT. IT'S F***ING AWESOME. AND ISN'T IT EGOTISTICAL TO NOMINATE YOURSELF AS THE LEAST EGOTISTICAL? AW WHATEVER. ...I JUST LIKE THE CAR. WHY CAN I NOT...
VW. Good God, hubris is annoying.
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Post by vivian on May 17, 2006 20:51:58 GMT -5
Some very childish, simple, but happy music plays as the scene opens upon a room that looks like the bastard child of Pee Wee’s Playhouse and any absurd Nickelodeon show. The camera centers on this huge goofy door that swings open. Out pops Dr. Vivian Anemone. She’s wearing a very skimpy outfit under a large doctor’s lab coat that is purple with huge yellow polka dots on it. Behind her march Smiley Sal and Happy Hal. They each stand on a side of the good Dr. as the camera pans back to a bunch of kids sitting on the floor clapping and cheering for her. The music quiets down and Vivian looks as if she’s trying to say something, but the kids won’t stop yelling and clapping. Happy Hal goes to stomp on one of the kid’s foot. The sound of the thump instantly quiets them.
Dr. Vivian Anemone: Hi boys and girls!
The kids are frightened and silent
Dr. Vivian Anemone: I SAID HELLO BOYS AND GIRLS!
Sal and Hal each take a step towards the kids. Seeing this, they say “Hello Dr. A!” before their four year old necks are turned into dust.
Dr. Vivian Anemone: Much better! I’m very excited today kids. You see, this is the first episode of the Super Happy Imagination Time Show!
Sal strokes his chin, confused by the name of the show. Happy Hal interrupts the good doctor.
Happy Hal: S.H.I.T.S.?
Dr. Vivian Anemone: You watch your mouth mister, or someone’s getting a ride on the not so smiley jumper cables connected to my car battery!
Sal immediately backs up in fear. Vivian obviously has some psychological control over these two.
Dr. Vivian Anemone: Anyway boys and girls, it’s time to learn the word of the day! Sal, if you would?
Sal digs into his trunks and fondles around for an awkwardly long time. A kid in the front row begins to cry. Finally Sal removes a dirty piece of toilet tissue from his tights and hands it to Vivian, who is prepared with a pair of gloves. She looks at the word, smiles, and turns it around to the kids.
Dr. Vivian Anemone: Today’s word is…Oppression! Do any of you know what oppression is?
Voice: I know oppression!
Hal, Sal, and Dr. Vivian manifest a super surprised smile on their faces.
Dr. Vivian Anemone: Uh oh boys and girls…that sounds like our good friend Drifty!
Vivian walks over to a super whacky green and blue pinstriped window and slides it open. A huge sack is slammed on the windowsill followed by a haggard, grizzly middle aged man. He lets out a raspy cough and blows a snot rocket inside the house as all the kids yell “Driftyyyy!” in a burst of happiness.
Dr. Vivian Anemone: Well hello Drifty…you know something about oppression?
Drifty: Know something’? Hell I wrote the book on f^@%$ng oppression! I am a victim of it every day since the MAN seems to think a man with a second grade education shouldn’t be working at the local power plant! Sure I may not be able to write in cursive…sure I may perform sexual favors for illegal substances…sure my house is an old futon box from Caldor…but that doesn’t mean I can’t keep a job! You want oppression…I am oppression!
Dr. Vivian Anemone: Drifty you’re always so grumpy! I think you need a hug!
Drifty: I think I need a few rails…
Dr. Vivian Anemone: Now Drifty…you get out of here before the cops come. You know how they’re always playing hide and seek with you!
Drifty: Yea…hide and seek…right…
Dr. Vivian Anemone: Say goodbye to Drifty kids!
The kids say goodbye to Drifty, but he rests both arms on the windowsill and leans in a little.
Drifty: Hey…any of you kids wanna see a dead body?
Vivian pushes Drifty off of the windowsill and slams it shut.
Dr. Vivian Anemone: Well…wasn’t that fun kids? Anyway, time to talk a bit about Sal and Hal’s new game. You see kids. Smiley Sal and Happy Hal have become a part of the EWT, a wrestling organization. Can you kids say wrestling?
Kids: Rasslin’!
Dr. Vivian Anemone: Ah, I see most of you kids are southern…anyway Smiley Sal and Happy Hal are going to be on your televisions every week now in a ring against some evil, evil men. These guys don’t know how to hug…or maybe their mommies never hugged them.
Smiley Sal: Or maybe their daddies hugged them in that wrong way…
Dr. Vivian Anemone: Exactly…we need to teach these men how to hug, how to laugh, and how to smile! Will you kids help us!
Kids: Yes Dr. A!
Dr. Vivian Anemone: We can do it! Heck…Sal and Hal even helped Shawn Michaels find his smile again!
Happy Hal: Heh…yea…never knew a guy could bleed that much…
Dr. Vivian Anemone: Calm down Hal…we’ll have plenty of…hugs…to dish out in the EWT…but right now it’s time for our final hug…it’s the end of the show. We’ve learned a lot today, but the most important thing, as always, is to smile and love! Group hug!
Sal, Hal, Vivian, and the kids hug as the music plays. Apparently Dr. Vivian’s microphone is still on.
Dr. Vivian Anemone: Sal! Watch your hands!
We fade with the crazy kid music playing and a huge hug for one and all.
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Post by Superior Dragon on May 17, 2006 23:58:19 GMT -5
"Moving On Up" hits as the corwd starts to boo. Curly and Big make their way out and soak up all the boo's from the crowd.
Howard Finkel: The following TAG TEAM contest is scheduled for ONE fall! Coming to the ring, at a combined weight of 538 lbs., The Midget King and Company!!!
Curly and Big enter the ring as Curly smiles at Finkle, still remembering the low-blow. "St. Anger" blasts over the PA system as The Suicidal Idolz enter the arena to a big pop.
Finkel: And therir opponents, from South of Heaven and San Juan, Puerto Rico, at a combined weight on 442 lbs., Twizted. American Saint. The Suicidal Idolz!!
The Idolz enter the ring and pose on the turnbuckles before jumping off and coming face to face with the Midget King and Company.
----Ding Ding Ding!----
The match starts off with Curly and Saint starting the match. Saint merely looks at Curly and says "I'm supposed to fight him?". Curly takes advatage and tackles Saint to the mat and starts punching him. Saint tosses Curly off, but gets tackled again by the Midget King. Saint tosses him off once more and gets to his feet before kicking Curly and knocking him down with a vicious running kick. Saint tosees Curly to the corner and starts punching him in the head before hitting a dropsault, knocking Curly down. Saint then applies the Face Wash and runs to the opposite ropes before runnign back full force with a kick. Saint goes over and tags Twizted, who is eager to get revenge after the Coliseum. Curly is back to a verticl base as Twizted grabs him and hits a suplex. Twizted then rotates his hips and picks Curly up for another suplex when he plants him face first. Twizted then picks Curly up and tosses him to Mr. Big, doing the "come on!" taunt.
Big gets in the ring and stands face to face to Twizted, having a huge height advantage. Twizted shows no fear as he jumps and hits Big with a forearm shot. Twizted runs to the ropes and goes for another forearm when Big hits a belly-to-belly suplex. Twizted is in pain as Big gets up and jumps right down onto Twizted, crushing him with his weight and having the pin...
1...
2...
3....Save by Saint. Big gets up and picks Twizted by the hair before hitting a backbreaker. Twizted is down on the mat as Big smirks at Saint, who is unable to do anything. Big goes for a splash when Twizted somehow manages to roll out of the way. Twizted and Big are down as Twizted crawls over to Saint's corner as Big starts to get up. Twizted is about to tag Saint's hand when Curly comes in and drags Twizted away. Twizted tries kicking him off until Big comes up and steps on his chest. Curly goes back to his corner as Twizted is hoisted high in the air before getting driven down into a gut buster. Twizted tries to get out of the ring but Big grabs his legs and pulls him back, causing Twizted to hit the mat gut first. Big picks Twizted up and goes for the "HFD", but Twizted grabs Big's arm and locks in Fron Dusk Till Dawn!! Big is spinning around, trying to get Twizted off, but Twizted pulls back farther and farther. Big backs up into the Idolz corner and Saint makes the blind tag. Twizted still has the move in as Saint gets in and hits a kick right to Big's guts. Twizted lets go and grabs Big's head as Saint does the same before hitting a Double DDT.
Saint then takes advantage and locks in the Black Magic, choking Big! Curly runs in and kicks Saint in the head, causing the hold to be released. Saint gets back up and bum rushes Big, causing him to stagger. Saint runs to the ropes and bum rushes Big once again. Saint runs to the ropes and goes for a third time when Big picks up the boot. Saint ducks under it and runs to the opposite ropes before hitting a third bum rush and knocks the big man down. Saint then does a crotch chop to Curly before locking in the Camel Clutch!! Curly is dying to get in the ring but Saint is facing him, daring him to come in. Big is starting to turn red when Curly runs into the ring and gets hit with a diving clothesline. Saint picks Curly up in a gorilla press position and goes over to the ropes before tossing Curly right onto the floor. Saint turns around and is met with the "HFD"!!! Big has the pin...
1...
2...
3...Save by Twizted!! Twizted runs to the ropes and hits a running dropkick before running to the opposite ropes. Twizted bounces off the ropes but gets tripped up by Curly. Big then runs to Twizted and clotheslines him over the top rope. Meanwhile, Saint gets up and waits for Big to turn around before hitting a jumping DDT. Saint gets up and signals for the end, which can only mean the Dazzling KillSwitch. Saint grabs Big and pulls him up to a vertical base before hitting several shots to the gut. Saint then grabs Big and starts to go for a suplex. Saint is screaming and tries to pick Big up but can't do it. So, Saint hits a enzuigiri to the back to the head, knocking Big down o the mat. Saint goes for the pin....
1...
2...
3....Save by Curly!! Saint gets pissed and stalks Curly, who is backing up. Curly keeps walking back until he bumps into something hard. Curly turns around and sees Twizted, who starts laying it into him with punches and kicks. Twizted grabs Curly and turns him around before sliding him across the mat and sends him to the mat below. Saint and Twizted look at each other and turn to Big, who is still a little woozy. Saint grabs Big in a DDT position but starts chocking him as Twizted climbs the turnbuckle. Twizted is about to lauch off when Curly shoves him off the turnbuckle to the mat below. Curly climbs the turnbuckle as Saint has his back to him. Curly leaps off and hits s double axe-handle right to the back. Curly then shoves Saint to Big, who immediantly grabs him and hits the "HFD" for the second time. Big is still weak from the assault and can't go for the pin, giving saint time to recouperate from the devastating move. Big gets up and grabs Saint before hitting the World's Strongest Slam!! Big has the pin...
1...
2...
3....BIG GETS HIT IN THE BACK WITH A CHAIR!!! The ref calls for the DQ but Twizted continues his onslaught and whacks Big across the back. Twizted then turns his attention to Curly and runs towards him before hitting a dropkick, knocking Curly down to the floor. Saint is up by now and climbs the ropes as Twizted places the chair right on the back of Big. Saint leaps off and hits a Swanton Bomb right on the chair. The crowd starts chanting "Their HARDCORE!" Twizted and Saint walk out of the ring as Curly gets in and looks at the idolz with hatred in his eyes as we cut to a commercial.
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Post by The Lach is very tired on May 18, 2006 5:21:51 GMT -5
*A video package starts playing on the screen. It shows Spaz training in the gym, lifting weights & working in the ring. The title belt is sitting in prime position on top of a locker.*
Spaz (Voice Over): I am the World Champion but I won't rest on my laurels. If I want to stay champ I have to work harder then ever. There is a bullseye on me now & every man in the EWT wants what I have.
*Spaz is now sitting on the floor staring at the title in his hands, his blood still stains the front.*
S: My blood is on this belt to remind me what it takes to earn the right to call yourself a champion. It takes many hours, days, weeks, months, years of sacrifice. It takes your blood, your sweat, your tears. You have to believe in yourself when nobody else does. It is a hard road but if I had my time over again it is a road I would take again. To be listed among men such as JzBadblood, DSR, A-Bomb, dorf, Variable, Bret Michaels, Moxie & Limey is an honour. An honour I take seriously. So to anyone who thinks they can take this title from me. Come & try it you will have to be very good to triumph over me & Generation Tech.
*CUT TO PROMO FOR PARTY STARTER: THE RISE & RISE OF SPAZ DVD*
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Post by Joel, Mike, Currently...? on May 18, 2006 9:21:52 GMT -5
Sum Guy: Hi I'm Sum Guy, and I haven't a soul anymore. I sold it for five dollars. Standing with me are the ever popular Nyrds, along with their latest valet, Keiko Yakamoto. Boys, and girl, I think the question on everyone's mind is, Keiko, will you go out with me?
Keiko responds by slapping Sum Guy.
Sum Guy: Fair enough. Joel and Mike, you two seem to be on a roll, as you guys continue to gain title shot, and title shot-shots. However, you never seem to pull through in the end. How come you guys suck so bad?
Joel: Uh...
Mike: I don't recall sucking badly, at least not as bad as you did at Bomberman last night.
Sum Guy: I told you! I don't understand the concept of "Video Games". Anyway, you guys still put on impressive clusterf***s of massive proportions, what with all the high-flying and no transition moves. How does it feel to be the biggest spotmonkeys in EWT?
Joel: TNA keeps coming after us.
Mike: It's really annoying.
Sum Guy: Also, Keiko impressed everyone by pulling off the amazing 630. Keiko, any words on that?
Keiko: ...Oro?
Sum Guy: Yes, domo arigato Mr. Roboto. Before we end this sham of an interview, do you people have anything else to say for yourselves?
Joel: The Nyrds are still on the tag title trail!
Mike: We just stop to play Donkey Kong along the way a few times.
Sum Guy: Sure, whatever. This is Sum Guy, saying, honey, why don't you love me anymore?
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Limey
Unicron
It's been awhile.
Posts: 3,062
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Post by Limey on May 18, 2006 13:12:26 GMT -5
*We're backstage. Limey is at a soda machine, looking a little down. Sum Guy appears on-screen.*
SG: I'm Sum Guy and my birthday is TOMORROW!
*Sum gets out a party popper and aims it at Limey, who grabs Sum's wrist, frowns at Sum, and shakes his head slowly.*
SG: Sorry...(Sum puts away the party popper) So, Limey, you took a loss to Moxie, one half of a great tag team in his own right; the Prophecy Reborn. How does it feel to take this loss going into a match against the Handsome Boy Modelling School for the tag team titles?
Limey: Sum...I've faced pretty-boys before. Flex Magnificent, don't forget it. I know that it takes more than airbrushing and hairspray to win matches.
SG: ...but it makes you look so pretty...
Limey: And as far as losing against Moxie goes...I don't feel any shame. Me and Moxie...despite everything I've done to stay at my prime, despite day after day of putting my body through hell, going through the hottest fires to make myself the strongest steel...Moxie and I are STILL...two evenly-matched competitors. For that, I respect the hell out of the guy...but when we meet the next time, I'm NOT going down as easy as I did in our last match. Handsome Boy Modelling School, I know I'm STILL ready for you, and so is "Big Daddy" Gasoline, the true success story of EWT, the break-out star. Sum, he's brutal, he's brimming with talent...and he's a very dangerous man.
SG: Sounds cool! But one more observation...how do you feel about the PTA?
Limey: The PTA...don't think the fued is over, Sum. Because I think I speak for myself and Gas when I say one of the first things we'll do when we beat those stuck-up, snotty snobs for the gold...is show the PTA why we hold them. Respect, Loyalty and ABILITY, Sum! That's what Generation Tech is all about! We'll take on anyone that wants to step up to the challenge, and if anyone else has something to say about it...heh...they'd better just keep in mind...that life WILL...give...them...LIMES!!!
*Limey smiles and walks off. Sum turns to the camera.*
SG: Well, I'm Sum Guy and...(Sum puts on a party hat) I'm counting the hours!! We'll be back after these messages!!
*Fade to commercial.*
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Post by Trik Turner on May 18, 2006 18:23:16 GMT -5
Announcer: This next contest is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring first, here is Golddust.
(Golddust's music hits as he makes his way to the ring. Golddust does his usual when suddenly, he's attacked from behind. Trik grabs Golddust & starts beating on him. Trik tosses him into the ring. Trik slides into the ring himself & yanks the wig off, using the wig to choke out Golddust. Trik tosses the wing to the ground & then lifts up Golddust, throwing him into the ropes. As Golddust bounces back, Trik goes for a highcross bodyblock, but Golddust ducks. Trik crashes down to the mat. Golddust starts giving the boot to Trik. Golddust picks him up & bodyslams him. Golddust drops an elbow on Trik. Golddust lifts up Trik & throws him into the turnbuckle. As Golddust rushes at him, Trik leaps over him & spins with a dropkick. This sends Golddust into the turnbuckle. Trik runs at him again & nails another dropkick. Trik pulls Golddust out, but Golddust applies a testicular claw to Trik. Golddust scoops him up by the throat & the testicles, slamming him down. Golddust picks up Trik again, throwing him back into the corner. Golddust sets up Trik's legs on the ropes & hits him with the Shattered Dreams. Golddust grabs Trik & sets him up, nailing a piledriver. Golddust goes for a cover, but Trik kicks out.)
(Golddust gets back to his feet & lifts up Trik. He sets Trik up in a powerslam, but Trik manages to escape. Trik runs the ropes & rebounds off the second rope with a dropkick. Trik quickly gets to the corner & the top rope, where he leaps off with a corkscrew moonsault. Trik runs the ropes again & nails a baseball slide dropkick to the face of Golddust. Trik grabs Golddust & tries to set him up, but Golddust is to heavy for a Trik Turner. Trik gets frustrated & tries again. No luck again. Trik throws Golddust into the ropes & nails a flying elbow on him. Trik goes for a cover but Golddust gets his foot on the rope. Trik gets to his feet as Golddust barely gets to his feet. Trik kicks Golddust in the midsection then hits an Enziguri. As Golddust staggers to his feet, Trik comes from behind & applies a chickenwing. After a minute or so, Golddust taps out, as Trik is declared the winner. Trik releases the hold & leaves the ring, frustrated at the fact that he couldn't hit the Trik Turner.)
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Post by Poker Joker on May 18, 2006 19:11:03 GMT -5
The scene opens up in one of the E.W.T. Dressing Rooms. Already in the room are Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark and Ultimo Chocula, the E.W.T. Tag-Team Champions, themselves. Billy is sitting in a leather recliner gazing longingly at a Playboy magazine. Draped across his waist are his E.W.T. Tag-Team Title. In one hand is a bottle of juice of some kind. Near by on a leather sofa is Ultimo Chocula, curled up and facing the back of the sofa. He's obviously asleep, and using his Tag-Team Title Belt as a pillow. The scene is somewhat peaceful until Sum Guy arrives with a mic in his hand and a camera man.)
*SUM GUY*: This is Sum Guy, E.W.T. Ace Reporter and Lifeless Schmuck. I've tracked down the E.W.T. Tag-Team Champions, the "Handsome Boys Modeling School," to get their views on the recent developments in the tag-team division.
(Guy walks over to the couch where Billy Ubermark is resting and shoves the microphone in his face.)
*SUM GUY*: Mr. Ubermark, can I speak to you and your partner for a moment?
(Billy puts his magazine down and stares over at Sum Guy, clearly annoyed.)
*BU*: Um.... We've gotta do our show in a few minutes, and we're kinda trying to get some rest here.
*SUM GUY*: Good deal! Then you've got some time! OK. Let's get this interview going.
*BU* (shaking his head): Look, Bone-head. You don't get it....
*SUM GUY* (interrupting Billy): Say, uh, what about your partner, too? Mr. Chocula, will you answer a few questions for me?
(Billy sighs)
*BU*: Here. Lemme check for you.
(Billy and nudges Chocula on the feet.)
*BU*: Hey, partner!
*UC* (stirring slightly): ...Mmph.
*BU*: Hey, man. Wake up.
*UC* (groggily, and still facing the back of the couch): Hmm?.. I'm sleepin'.
*BU*: There's someone here to interview us.
*UC* (sounding slightly interested): Is it Terri?
*BU*: No.
*UC* (still groggy): Then tell 'em to go f*** themselves.
(Chocula starts snoring loudly as he fades back to sleep. Billy looks back over at Sum Guy.)
*BU*: That's a "no."
*SUM GUY*: Are you sure?
*BU* (giving Sum Guy an incredilous look): Trust me on this.
*SUM GUY*: Well, at least you're up for giving me an interview!
*BU*: Well, actually....
*SUM GUY* (cutting Billy off, again): So! You guys have been creating some contraversy with your new series about the other teams in the tag-team divsion. Already the P.T.A. and the Suicidol Idolz have expressed anger of the things you've said about them. What do you have to say about that?
(Billy takes a swig of the bottle of fruit juice he's holding. He makes a sour face after swallowing, and then begins speaking.)
*BU*: Well, what else can I say? Some people just can't handle the truth. And the truth of the matter is that we're simply that much better than every other team in this division. Take a look at what we've done. We beat every team this fed has thrown at us. We plowed through the entire division like the juggernauts we are. We beat three of the so-called best tag-teams in this company to win these belts. And since that time, we've cleaned house over those two fat slobs, Bundy and Studd. We've sent the Young Stallions to the glue factory, where they belong. And we swatted a couple of pesky bees. The facts speak for themselves. We really are THAT superior to every team out there.
*SUM GUY*: But some of the things you say on your program aren't really true! Why would you say them?
(Billy takes another swig of the fruit juice and cringes again.)
*BU*: You see this fruit juice?
*UC*: Yeah.
*BU*: This is genuine grape-papaya-and-pineapple juice directly from the Fiji Islands. To have it produced, packaged, and then shipped here to the States costs about $20 a bottle.
*SUM GUY*: Wow! Is it any good?
(Billy takes another swig, and cringes again.)
*BU*: It tastes like crap!
*SUM GUY* (puzzled): So, why are you drinking it?
*BU* (with a sarcastic smile on his face): Because I can! You see, when you're as good-looking, and as talented, and as out-right superior to everyone else like we are, you can do or say pretty much anything you want. Me and Ultimo Chocula, we're in a class all by ourselves. We living a lifestyle that common shmucks like you can only dream about. If I wanna drop twenty bucks on some dumb fruit punch from Fiji just so I can complain about it, I'll do it. If my partner over here wants to go clubbing all night just so he can steal other men's gilfriends right in front of them, he will. And if we want to go on television and show the whole world just how pathetic the other tag-teams in this division are compared to us, we'll do that, too. If the other teams don't like hearing the truth about themselves, well that's just too damn bad. This just another one of the little perks we get that comes with being #1. And since it looks like we're going to be #1 for a LONG time to come, yet, those guys at the bottom of our mountain might wanna just get used to it.
*SUM GUY*: Well, what are your opinions about the recently-crowned number-one contenders to your Tag-Team Championships.... Generation Tech!
*BU*: Who?
*SUM GUY*: Generation Tech.
*BU*: Oh, you mean the Tootie-Fruity Dummy and his half-wit partner. I'll be blunt with you.... I really could care less.
*SUM GUY*: But they're the top contenders.
*BU*: Exactly! And that's all they're ever gonna be. Being the "top contender" in this division is the same as being "first runner-up" in a beauty contest. You're still only second best, and just like the title of our show says, second place is the first loser.
(Billy gets ready to take another drink of his juice.)
*SUM GUY*: Limey's been in first place before, though. He's a former World Champion.
(Billy stops before he drinks his juice and glares at Sum Guy.)
*BU*: You know what? I remember that! Limey HAS been a World Champion in the past! And do you know HOW I remember that? Because I was involved in the match where he won the World Championship. And the only reason he won that match was because he cheated to eliminate ME! And, of course, nobody called him on it because nobody wanted to see a VIRGIN win the E.W.T. World Championship. Nobody ever seems to think that a VIRGIN would be good enough to hold a championship in this fed.
(Billy puts his drink down and takes his E.W.T. Tag-Team Title Belt off his waist. He holds it up to Sum Guy's face, just an inch away from his nose.)
*BU*: But its pretty obvious who's good enough now, ain't it? Because a couple months removed from that same match, I'm not only STILL one-half of the best damn tag-team the E.W.T. has ever seen, I'm one-half of the most dominant Tag-Team Champions in this company's history. And as for Limey? He's no longer the World Champ. Instead, he's the World Chump, and he's teaming up with another chump to try and take our Tag-Team Titles. But that's not going to happen.
(Billy pulls the belt away from Sum Guy's face as he finishes speaking.)
*SUM GUY*: How do you know that?
*BU* (gives Sum an annoyed look): Because I've seen those guys in the ring. Hell, I was even IN THE RING with one of them. Nothing suggested they were up to our level of competition then, and they're definitely not up to it now. Got any other stupid questions?
*SUM GUY* (oblivious to being insulted): Just one. What tag-team are you guys going to review next on your show?
*BU*: You wanna know?
*SUM GUY* (excited): Yeah!
*BU*: Well, then you're gonna find out.
*SUM GUY*: Really?!!
*BU*: Yeah. When it broadcasts.... just like everybody else. Now, get lost, will ya? That cheap cologne you're wearing is making me nausious.
*SUM GUY* (puzzled): But,... I'm not wearing any cologne.
(Billy gives Guy a strange look. He then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a five dollar bill.)
*BU* (cautiously handing Guy the money): Here. Go out and buy yourself some deoderant. The really strong stuff.
*SUM GUY* (excited): Wow! Thanks, Billy! What should I do with the change?
*BU* (clearly becoming annoyed with Guy's presence): How about buy yourself a life? Now scram.
(Sum Guy looks somewhat hurt as he leaves with his money in hand. The camera stays on Billy Ubermark and Ultimo Chocula, however. As Sum Guy leaves, Billy simply shakes his head. Eventually, he grabs the Playboy magazine off his lap, rolls it up, and uses it to tap Chocula's foot.)
*BU*: Hey! Wake up, pal!
*UC* (mumbling): Hmmmph?
*BU*: C'mon! We got work to do.
*UC* (mumbling): ....Huh? Its ok honey. I'll still respect you in the morning.... Really, I wi.... (snoring).
(Billy shakes his head, again, and stands up with both magazine and title belt in hand.)
*BU*: Jessica Alba is outside asking for you.
*UC* (sounding interested): Hmm?
*BU*: She' wearing a thong bikini and carrying an egg beater.
(Ulitmo Chocula suddenly sits up on the couch.)
*UC*: Hello!!!
*BU* (nodding): Works every time. C'mon. We've got work to do.
*UC*: What? Where's Jessica Alba?!
*BU*: You missed her.
*UC*: AGAIN?!
*BU*: C'mon, let's go. Once we get this done, we can get a couple of drinks at that new gentlemen's club on Eighth Avenue.
*UC*: You mean the one with the topless waitresses?
*BU*: That's the one.
*UC*: I'm in. Let's go.
(Chocula stands up and stretches. Billy reaches onto the couch and picks up Chocula's Tag-Team Title Belt.)
*UC*: Say, were you telling me there was a reporter in here, earlier?
(Billy finishes the rest of his juice and grits his teeth hard after the last swallow.)
*BU*: Yeah. That stupid Sum Guy.
*UC* (rolling his eyes): THAT waste of human flesh? What did he wanna talk about?
*BU*: Nothing special.
*UC*: Oh, really? Like what?
*BU*: Like Limey and Gasoline.
*UC*: Oh, so when you say "nothing special" you really DO MEAN nothing special.
*BU* (chuckling): Pretty much.
*UC* (grinning): Figures. I trust you handled the situation with class.
*BU*: Naturally!
(The two Handsome Boys bust out laughing. After a few seconds, Billy hands Chocula his belt.)
*BU*: Alright! Let's get down to business.
*UC*: I'm on my way, partner!
(Billy and Chocula exit the scene one after another. The camera stays focused on the chair and sofa for a couple moments before fading to black, and the television audience goes to a commercial.)
***COMMERCIAL***
(The intro graphics for the "Maury Provich Show" appear on the screen.)
*ANNOUNCER*: This week on "Maury"......
(Scene changes to a fat woman bawling on Maury's shoulder.)
*FAT WOMAN* (crying hard): How could he do this to me?!
(Scene changes to a shot of a fat man wearing women's clothing and make-up.)
*ANNOUNCER*: Only two weeks after marrying his wife, this man got a sex change....
*MAN IN DRESS* (yelling): IT WASN'T MY FAULT!
*ANNOUNCER*: ...by aliens from another world.
(Scene cuts to Maury Provich talking to two green space creatures with ananea on their heads who are being broadcast on a television screen.)
*MAURY*: How could you do something like this?!
*ALIEN #1*: It was an honest mistake. We usually only do this type of procedure to your Earth cattle.
*ALIEN #2*: To be fair, he does look a lot like a cow.
*MAN IN DRESS*: What?!
*FAT WOMAN*: Actually, honey, I CAN see where they made that mistake.
*MAURY*: You should hit the weight room more often.
*ANNOUNCER*: Can Maury get to the bottom of this mess?
(Cut to another scene in the show with everybody on camera. The man is currently yelling into the t.v. screen that the aliens are being broadcast on while his wife and a security guard hold him back.)
*MAN IN DRESS* (Screaming): YOU RUINED MY LIFE! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!
*Alien #2:* You're actually pretty lucky we stopped the experiment when we did.
*Alien #1:* Yeah. We were going to try and breed you with the clone we made of Elvis Presley.
*MAURY*: And people thought I destroyed Connie Chung's life by marrying her!
*Alien #2*: We still can't figure out what a top-notch reporter like her saw in a two-bit shmuck like yourself.
(Maury Provich gets a hurt look on his face as the camera cuts to a shot of Connie Chung backstage standing on a chair as she hangs a rope with a noose at one end around a ceiling beam. The scene the goes back to the "Maury Provich Show" graphic)
*ANNOUNCER*: NEXT TIME! Only on "MAURY!"
(The sound of audience applause can be heard as the graphic fades away and the screen goes black.)
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Post by The Bad Man on May 19, 2006 6:36:59 GMT -5
We are backstage in the EWT arena with Mean Gene Okerlund who is standing by with D'Zee
MEAN GENE: Hello everyone, I'm here with Queen of the Ring finalist D'Zee ... and the question on everyone's lips is do you think you can be crowned queen?
D'Zee who was pacing, smacks her fists together and grabs a hold of the mike that Mean Gene is using
D'ZEE: You listen good little man! ... there is no doubt in my mind that I am taking that crown back to the streets where it belongs!
MEAN GENE: Well ... that's all very nice but your opponent is Rosa and the last time you two met she won!
D'ZEE: Of course she won Gene, she won because I got disqualified for choking her out! ... but now it's different, now I know a real submission manouver ... so when Rosa steps in that ring with me, she will be tapping to the Ghetto Neck Snap! ....
MEAN GENE: Thank you D'z ....
D'Zee out of nowhere headbutts Mean Gene and takes the mike
D'ZEE: Girl Next Door division get ready! ... your looking at your new Queen! .... D'Zee the Undeniable!!
D'Zee walks off
(cut to commercial)
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Post by Koda, Master Crunchyroller on May 19, 2006 9:16:31 GMT -5
Lillian is standing in the ring with Charlie Haas behind her.
* "Headstrong" by Trapt begins to play *
Lillian: And his opponent, from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, Koda Kazar!
Koda comes charging down to the ring.
Koda and Haas circle each other, getting ready for the match. The ref rings the bell. Koda hits Haas with several thigh kicks and then sweeps Haas' legs. Koda hits Haas with a standing moonsault off of the momentum of the leg sweep. Koda then goes to the second rope and hits Haas with a frontflip elbow drop. Koda goes for a pin.
One...........Two........Kickout!
Haas grabs Koda and kicks him in the gut. Haas hits Koda with a lariat aand then whips Koda into the ropes. On the way back, Haas goes to hit Koda with his Exploder T-Bone, but on the flip, Koda grabs Haas' head in a front headlock and wraps his legs around his abdoman. Koda brings Haas down with an inescapable front headlock!
Haas can barely breathe! His face begins to turn purple, and he passes out. The ref checks Haas' hand.
*Lifts it up*.........*lets it go*.........it drops to the ground, that's it! The match is over! Haas has been choked out!
Lillian: Here is your winner, Koda Kazar!
Koda refuses to let go of Haas' head, choking the life out of him. Koda finally lets go and grabs a mic.
Koda: Bolt! This will be you at the PPV! Take a good look at this!
Koda continues assaulting Haas. Koda attacks a few refs as well.
Koda: Bolt! I will win that title, I will beat you to death!
Koda goes outside of the ring and gets a chair. Koda goes back into the ring and wraps it around Haas' throat. Koda goes to the second rope and jumps onto the chair, crushing Haas' throat. Haas is bleed badly from the mouth and can hardly breathe now. Koda leaves the ring while EMTs are attending to Haas.
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