Ass Dan
King Koopa
Curious about extra lines
Have you seen me?
Posts: 12,259
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Post by Ass Dan on Mar 27, 2007 11:16:18 GMT -5
COMING SOON:
THE BARCLAYS™ UNOFFICIAL TRIOS TOURNAMENT Toomi Bischoff v/o: I'm Toomi Bischoff, and I do not support this tounament!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 27, 2007 16:21:04 GMT -5
*The camera fades in. A rather familiar vehicle sinisterly rolls into the park streets of Sesame Place. The car is a deep green, and inside are none other than TJT--with Jack Jupiter, of course. All are wearing sunglasses, and are in rather fine street clothes. Thunder is in the drivers' seat, with Terina next to him, and Jason in the back with Jack.*
Thunder: Now, after everything we suffered, we managed to wriggle out of that match with the Hart Foundation. Lucky us. My only beef is how that Aaron Chamblis guy managed to convince us to buy him out of things too. Damn indies tours. But since he was willing to tune this baby for a week, I couldn't refuse. So, this is the place Toomi Bischoff sent us to? Sesame Place?
Jason: What the fu--
Terina: Shhh! There's kids here. Sure, they're annoying little snots, but don't go swearing in front of them--it's just something you don't do.
Jason: Not my fault, if I didn't have my cousin sitting next to me for the whole ride...
Jack: Hey Jason, did you hear about the graphics improvements they're putting into the--
Jason: Oh dear lord, SHUT UP! That's it Jack, you're switching with Terina. Only Jim would be able to tolerate someone like you?
Thunder: Why? Because I'm laid back? Heh, that doesn't mean I'm listening to--
Terina: Fine, Jason, sit next to Jim. I'll sit next to Jack.
Jason, Jack and Thunder: WHAT?!
Terina: Well it's the only--
*An attendant comes up to them.*
Attendant: Excuse me, you're going to have to get out of the automobile. They're......not allowed.....in the par--
*Thunder whips out a paper and drops his shades, cracking a smile.*
Thunder: Good enough for ya?
*The attendent reads allowed.*
Attendant: "I, Robert Thunder hereby pay the authorization fees to entitle my son, James Thunder--
Thunder: JIMMY Thunder. Forget what my dad says...
Attendant: --and his colleagues, Jason Jupiter, Jack Jupiter, and Terina Barenson to drive and manuever the Ja"--er, just...."Thunder's custom-built green Jaguar XJ convertible around the premises of the park."
Well my mistake. Enjoy your time...
Thunder: "That's better."
*He lifts his shades up, the four inside smile, and Terina switches places with a rather angry Jason. Jack immediately becomes uneasy, and Jim hits the gas.*
Jason: Alright! Now just to figure out who's doing what in the Trios tournament!
*Talking between them can be heard as they drive through, alarming many a child and parent as the acamera fades out.*
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Post by brokenrose on Mar 27, 2007 17:55:47 GMT -5
*The EWT crowd is pumped for the next match. But then they realize that the two referees in the ring aren't for a huge match... Rather, one of them is “Dangerous” Danny Davis.* Finkel: Currently in the ring... From Toronto, Ontario... “Dangerous” Danny Davis! * The crowd cheers as the opening riff for “Rose” by Anna Tsuchiva begins.* *From out of crowd, comes the Broken Rose of EWT. Her head is heavily bandaged and she's walking while using crowd members for balance. It appears that her right knee has suffered so much damage from the PPV that it quickly becomes apparent that she should not be in the ring for at least a week or two. But it is doubtful that anyone could actually steel themselves enough to tell her so.* Finkel: And his opponent, now residing in Osaka, Japan... Weighting in at 142 lbs.... BR Juri Sadamoto! *She climbs over the barricade (with security and crowd assistance) and pulls herself into the ring by the bottom rope. She doesn't dare try her little routine of stretching her arms behind her back. The referee calls for the start of the match. Her music ends and the bell rings. Davis openly mocks BR's leg and then grows a bit of courage.* Davis: That's why broads should only be valets! *In a flash, Juri's right fist slams into Davis' chin. The sheer force drives him up into the air slightly before he lands to his back out cold. The referee could disqualify her for such actions, but he wants to live just a wee bit longer. Juri hops on one leg over to his downed body and places her injured leg on him.* BR: If you could, sir? *The referee nods and goes for the count.* 1! 2! 3! Finkel: And your winner, by.... Knockout & Pinfall... BR JURI SADAMOTO! *Juri looks straight into the camera, quickly flicks her head from left to right. She then winks and kisses to the camera. The camera fades, but before she flashes a sly grin down at Davis.*
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ape
Unicron
Aunt Blabby Tells All.
bea wants all you sweathogs to take a look at what a REAL man is supposed to look like
Posts: 3,223
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Post by ape on Mar 27, 2007 18:19:50 GMT -5
*we come back from commercial to see the rougeau bros. in the ring with dorf. dorf is looking to the isleway for his tag partner, but nobody shows. the rougeaus take advantage and blindside dorf with a pair of double axhandles followed by a pair of knees to the midsection. the send dorf off the ropes with a double irish whip, but dorf ducks underneath and comes back with a double clothesline. he glances to the isleway to double check for his partner. after seeing nobody, he quickly gets to his feet and awaits the rougeaus. jacques rougeau charges dorf and is met with a backbody drop to the outside. raymond rougeau swings for a punch, but dorf ducks underneath and catches raymond with an atomic drop. dorf mocks raymond selling of the atomic drop and locks on a headlock.
after a few seconds, raymond shoves dorf into the ropes, where jacques is waiting with a knee to dorf's kidney. raymond follows it yup by strutting over to dorf and hits a spinning back kick to dorf's gut. he then holds dorf in place as jacques rougaeu scales the top rope and hits a big double axhandle.
he goes for the cover. 1....2.....kickout. raymond rougeau continues the attack on dorf with some stomps as jacques rougeau walks through the ropes to scale the turnbuckles once again, but a hand reaches up from under the ring apron and pulls him down and out of the view of the audience. a loud scream is heard, which causes raymond to stop his attack on dorf and realize that his partner is missing.
raymond slides to the outside to look for his partner and a hand reaches out to grab his leg. a shocked raymond immediately begins stomping at the hand. he then grabs the hand and drags the man out from under the ring. the man turns out to be jacques rougeau, who appears to be barely conscience and has been horribly, horribly bloodied.
in the ring, dorf is getting to his feet and slowly walks over to the ropes to witness what happened to jacques...and behind him, psychoapeguy slithers into the ring with jacques rougeau's blood splattered all over him. he has a shard of broken glass in his hand and a sadistic smile on his face. he stands up....bounces off the ropes and charges. dorf hears the footsteps and turns around, attempting a lariat, but ape ducks under and does a suicide dive at raymond rougeau. he picks raymond up on the outside and hits a piledriver. he then looks over at a shocked dorf and gives him a peace sign.
ape picks raymond up and shoves him into the ring. he follows him in. dorf slowly backs away, but ape quickly walks up to dorf and gives him a hug, followed by a noogie. he then picks up dorf's arm and forces a high-five. ape love goes and grabs raymond, picks him up and plants him with the tree hugger. ape then runs over to the referee and puts his hands over the ref's eyes. he looks back at dorf and motions at raymond who is sprawled out on the mat. a puzzled dorf, slowly picks up raymond and hooks both of his arms. in an almost hyper fashion, ape nods his head in approval. dorf lifts raymond up and plants him down with the dorf-o-matic and goes for the cover.
ape pulls his hands away from the referee's eyes and after being yelled at for a few seconds, the referee notices dorf going for the pinfall and he jumps over to give the count. 1.....2......3.
before dorf can get up, ape runs and gives dorf a soccer kick to the side of the face. ape chuckles to himself as dorf gets to his feet. an angry dorf lunges at ape, who quickly slides out of the ring. he walks up the isleway to the back and dorf stands in the ring screaming for ape to get back there. ape instead just waves at dorf, wipes the blood off of his face, and threatens to wipe it on a few fans before he disappears through the entranceway.*
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Post by The Bad Man on Mar 27, 2007 18:52:29 GMT -5
We return to the ring to find the Killer Bees already waiting for there opponents, as they wait the lights dim to a murky orange and the organ music of Praeludium in D Minor by Johann Pachelbel can be heard the fans try to boo over the music
ANNOUNCER: There opponents all the way from Bad Axe, Michigan and weghing in at a combined total of 831lbs ... Big and Bad!!
Out from the backstage area walks the immense team of Big and Bad. Mr. Bad waddles along like a duck that ate far too much bread and then got hit with a rake. Mr. Bad follows his bloated partner not showing much emotion underneath his dark sunglasses. They enter the ring under a chorus of jeers and boos.
The Bell Rings
Mr. Big starts of on his team and Brian Blair starts off for the Killer Bees. Brain rushes froward to tie up with Big but gets thrown away like a child across the ring. Mr. Big casually removes his sunglasses and places them in his top shirt pocket and then turns his attention to his opponent who is running towards him again. Mr. Big takes a swing at the fast moving Brian Blair but he ducks the hammer like fist of Mr. Big and peppers his chest with body shots. These have little effect on Mr. Big, who grabs both of Blair's hand in his and then proceeds to crush them. Brian Blair hops around in pain as Mr. Big compresses the mans fists within his, then in a show of strength Big lifts Brain Blair up off his feet. Brian Blair howls in pain and then stops as Mr. Big slams him into the mat. Mr. Big shakes his head and tags out to Mr. Bad.
The crowd begins to chant 'Bad is Ugly' loudly
Mr. Bad either ignores or does not care about the chanting fans as he watches Brain Blair struggle to his own corner. Mr. Bad grabs Brain Blair by the head and raises him up to his feet before proceeding to knee him repeatedly. Brian Blair's nose is busted open from the savage assault as Mr. Bad throws him into the Killer bees corner. Jim Brunzel tags himself in as Mr. Bad charges forward and avalanches Brian in the corner, 400 plus pounds squashing Brian Blair flat. Jim Brunzel hops through the ropes and starts to attack Mr. Bad with a few rights and then tries to hit an armdrag ... a mistake as Mr. Bad is far too heavy, blocks the move and usuing his weight leverage judo slams him into the canvas into a cover ...
1,2,3 ...
Jim Brunzel barely gets his foot on the ropes at the last minute. Mr. Bad not too bothered about the rope break gets up and drags Brunzel to the corner of Big and Bad. Mr. Big tags in and grabs Brunzel by the throat as he enters the ring. Mr. Bad goes and fetches Brain Blair and also grabs him by the throat. Both giants are now in the centre of the ring ... Simultaneous chokeslams!! ... Mr. Big covers ...
1,2,3.
Bell Rings
ANNOUNCER: Your winners Big and Bad!
The biggest team in the EWT today leave the ring having decimated the Killer Bees effortlessly. The crowd is not happy and boo them as they go.
(cut to advert break)
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Post by Tha Kid Joker on Mar 27, 2007 20:18:21 GMT -5
Fade back into the EWT arena, which is buzzing with hyped up fans. A few moments of silence pass, before the familiar Italian-esque intro of Eminem's "Square Dance" begins to play, sending the fans into a frenzy! A few moments go by before Cassinova walks out to huge fan reaction, and he seems a bit perplexed by the cheers that he receives. Nonetheless, he stops at the top of the ramp and holds his newly won Ox-Division title up high for all to see, before strutting down to the ring.Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the EWT Ox-Division Championship! Introducing first, he hails from Los Angeles, California! Weighing in at 225 lbs... he is the EWT Ox-Division Champion... Cassinova! Cassinova slides into the ring and hands all of his accessories to the referee. He gazes at his title (that he sterilized the day he won it) and kisses it before handing it to the referee as well. He then hops up and down, stretching and awaiting his opponent.Announcer: And introducing his opponent. From Honolulu, Hawaii... weighing in at 235 lbs... Ricky 'The Dragon' Steamboat! Ricky Steamboat's music begins to play, and the crowd pops once again for the legend. A long while goes by as they await his arrival... No Steamboat. His music shuts off, and everyone looks at the stage in confusion.Announcer: Uh... Ricky 'The Dragon' Steamboat! His music starts up once more, and this time even longer goes by. Still no Steamboat. Cassinova walks to the ropes closest to the ramp with a quizzical look, gazing at the stage. Once everyone realizes that he isn't coming, Ricky's theme stops once more, and a few seconds pass before the lights suddenly go out. Camera bulbs flash everywhere, attempting to illuminate the building, but to no avail. After several seconds, the room is indeed illuminated as the ToomiTron suddenly flickers to life. Cassinova maintains his confused face as he sees his opponent for tonight on the screen before him, and the camera switches to full view of the ToomiTron for the fans at home...
As we see Ricky the Dragon Steamboat walking backstage, presumably heading to the ring for his Ox Division Title shot against the new champion... somebody steps in front of him, glaring right down at his face. As the camera zooms in, we can see it's a... guy in a skunk suit? Steamboat slowly backs up, only to back right into another person, this one wearing a wolf suit? He looks back, then to the front... as now a bear and a... kangaroo... more odd suited fellows surround from the sides. The sound of soft footsteps are heard, as approaching from behind is.... Crauswell. The human gryphon walks up, glaring right at Ricky... nearly shattered beak pressed right up against his face as he growls silently... reaching over and patting one of these other... furries on the head as he stays nearly completely still.Crauswell: Robbed... I was robbed! A fluke... a false victory... that's all Cassinova gained. That the only way he STOLE IT! He took from me my most prized possession... and in that fact, he SPIT in the face of every furry around the world. All of my close friends... my mate... and every innocent child destined to end up like one of us... YOU HUMILIATED US ALL! First you tried to steal my precious belt... and failed! Then you decided to target my beloved suit... my wonderful feathered armor. Then... using that very same attire, you made a joke out of me... A DAMN JOKE! Like I was a pathetic sideshow in this world. Well I am not... I assure you, that I am not even close to a joke. Especially since... I have a rematch clause. Yes, it's not over between us Cassinova. Not by a long shot. I still have one more opportunity to take back what's mine... one that I will succeed in. Crauswell reaches over, gently brushing over Steamboat's head... as he looks on with a very quizzical look.Crauswell: But you see... I've learned something. Yes, I may rely mostly on instinct, but that doesn't make me a fool. You see... The reason you won is because you had the advantage. You had been playing your mind games and you'd succeeded at rattling me. A very impressive effort... but a fruitless one. You see, at the very same time... that was how I won the belt in the first place myself. You'll remember the man known as Koda Kazar... Rock Lee... whatever his name was, it didn't matter! I stalked him, watched his every move, then I ambushed him! By the time I faced him at Symphony Destruction... and BROUGHT HIM TO HIS KNEES! I shattered his damn leg... just to get my hands on that belt. Sure... he managed to return and try to take it from me less then a month later, but I crushed him again. I had the advantage... because I had already put the fear in his very soul. The furry slowly walks around... circling Ricky still as he looks him over, the man now starting to look quite horrified at this very bizarre sight before him.Crauswell: Next there was a young man named Spyke Johanson. A pathetic little bug... who thought he could take my belt. I silenced him immediately, beat him to within an inch of his miserable life, and put the fear in him! I had him beaten in that Scaffold tables Match... until you interfered! You caught me off guard, but I didn't go down without a fight. Only a week or so later, I had already plotted to destroy you like the miserable little man you were. A confident, arrogant, cocky, self obsessed fool! I destroyed someone just like that.... Chance Confidence. I ripped him to shreds... nearly destroyed him, then made him take himself out of a match just to beat me! THAT WAS ALL HE COULD DO! It still wasn't enough to silence me. Crauswell continues walking, gently rubbing the wolf guy's chest, as he looks up... patting his plastic muzzle, then turning his eye back on Steamboat.Crauswell: Or if you want to see true dominance... and the reason why you could never have possibly beaten me by anything other than a fluke... the fact I destroyed Theo Rumm in my debut match. The fact... that I destroyed everyone of my miserable opponents thereafter... the fact that my first loss was only caused by dishonesty. Up until then... I had put the fear in everyone of my opponents. Crauswell now turns to directly face the camera... arms folded behind his back as he gazes back.Crauswell: Cassinova... I'm going to put the fear in you... I'm going to take back my belt. And if you want to be deceitful... if you want to be conniving, well then... I guess I'm going to have to play dirty too. You see, in my rematch clause... in my contract... I have the choice of facing whoever beats me for that title in any type of match that I want... if I choose to do so. Seeing that you like to make fun of furries... fun of my family... well, you just earned yourself a war against each and every last one of us. You see.... I'm not the only wrestling furry in this world... I have plenty of friends outside the EWT that are just begging to help me rip you to pieces! There four fellows for example... Crauswell walks over, patting the bear guy's chest.Crauswell: Maultolov Grimpaws... Outside Championship League. Child Hood Friend of mine... He walks over, patting the kangaroo now.Crauswell: Boundin Bobby Jones... met him at a convention a few times, imported straight from Aussie League Grappling. He walks over again... now rubbing the wolf's chest.Crauswell: Rabido ... basically a past room-mate. Highland Power Wrestling The gryphon finally walks over to the skunk... hugging this guy and rubbing against his head.Crauswell: And last... but certainly not least, my mate and current lover, the fellow I simply call... Brandon. From my former domain of wrestling... Endless Aggression Federation. The four simply all look at Crauswell... as he simply lets go of his apparent mate, nodding. The four immediately rush Steamboat, beating the living hell out of him! Steamboat screams out in agony, as he squirms around wildly, Crauswell folding his arms as he looks down... glaring at the helpless man. The four simply pummel the living hell out of him with bare... paws it would seem. As Ricky begs for mercy, the four hoist him up to his feet, as Crauswell walks over, grabbing him by the throat and charging forward, slamming him into the damn wall with a Beak Buster! The force of this move literally makes a huge gapping hole, which Ricky now lays inside... in a pool of his own blood. Crauswell leans down, dipping a digit in this blood, ripping off Steamboat's shirt, then painting the same "Extinct" that he had on Crash weeks earlier. He slowly rises up, lifting Steamboat with him... showing his chest off to the screen... before dropping him to the ground.Crauswell: Cassinova... you will learn a deep brutal lesson... and you will learn it, because I am invoking my rematch at the crappiest stage of them all... CRAPMANIA!!! So write out that will... say goodbye to your friends if you have any... and prepare for me to not only end your pathetic Ox Division run before it begins... but at the same time END YOUR MISERABLE CAREER!!! You will be DEVOURED!!! The screen quickly cuts off without delay. The camera cuts back to the arena and the lights turn back on, showing Cassinova visibly uncomfortable in the ring. He finally shakes his head and puts his hands over his ears in frustration, before the referee makes a decision and tells the announcer something.Announcer: Uh... ladies and gentlemen, due to inability to participate in this match, Ricky Steamboat must therefore forfeit. Thus, the winner of this match by default, and STILL EWT Ox-Division Champion... Cassinova! "Square Dance" once again plays as the referee raises Cassinova's arm and hands him his belt. Cass immediately snatches his arm away in anger, grabs his belongings, and slides out of the ring. He slings the title over his shoulder and heads to the back, just as the crowd begins to boo at the fact that they won't get to see him wrestle tonight. Just as Cass reaches the top of the ramp, he stops and takes a long, deep breath... before shaking his head and slowly exiting through the curtain.FADE TO COMMERCIAL
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Post by raftshack on Mar 27, 2007 20:24:41 GMT -5
Demolition's Excellent theme starts up as the two members stomp at from the back, looking menacing and angry as per usual as the bell sounds for this upcoming match. They immediately started heading down towards the ring.
Announcer: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, at a combined weight of 583 pounds, Ax and Smash... Demolition!
Demolition stomps angrily down to the ring, as they quickly hop up and enter the ring, the two simply waiting in the ring as they await their opponents. They don't have to wait long as Mooninites starts up, the lasers going off again as the arena grows nice and dark... as the usual spotlight starts circling the ring, Soon enough, a puff of smoke pops up, as the team known as Raft-Shack enters the ring, in their usual twisted way.
Announcer: And their opponents, from Foreign Alien Island, at a combined weight of 399 pounds, Zeleke and Faboon... Team Raft Shack!
The two step from side to side a bit, heads bobbing as Demolition wastes no time, charging... only for both men to drop down into a back handspring to avoid, as Ax and Smash stop themselves just shy of going outside the ring. Zel and Fab immediately leap up and hit stereo dropkicks, sending both men to the outside of the ring! Ax and Smash quick rise to their feet, just in time to meet a pair of baseball slides to the face, sending them stumbling back as Zeleke goes nuts, cheering loudly for himself... jumping up and down wildly as Fab simply reaches over, slapping him aside the cheek, still looking outside at Demolition. He then grabs Zel by the legs, Sling-shotting him over the ropes into a Cross body right into Smash! He goes back down as Fab meanwhile springs off the rope rope, leaping off and snapping off a Hurracanrana on Ax! The two look quite annoyed, back up as Zel slowly gets back to his feet, Fab meanwhile grabbing Smash and chucking him into the ring, as he follows. He lifts him up, hitting some quick knife edge chops, sending Smash stumbling back a bit, then leaping up for an Enziguri. Smash catches him by the leg, turning it into a back drop suplex! Fab groans, slowly rising to his feet, only to receive some axe handles to the spine as he hunched over, flattening him into the mat again. Smash then follows up with some stomps focusing on the area, before yanking him up, scooping him right into a bodyslam. He drops for a cover. 1...2 Faboon kicks out. Ax and Zeleke have headed over to their own sides of the ring now, as Smash hoists Fab back up, dragging him over and tagging Ax. He holds him in a Full Nelson as Smash nails a Polish Hammer to the face! Fab groans, slumping slightly, Ax pulling him away, delivering some toe kicks to the chest, hoisting him up for a powerbomb, but Fab slips out, charging full speed and tagging in Zeleke!
Zel vaults over the ropes, charging full speed, catching Ax in the face with a spinning wheel kick! He groans, dropping to the mat as Zel cackles madly, not even turning as he leaps up, hitting Smash with a Gamengiri, Smash dropping off the apron now, clutching the back of his head. Ax is quickly back up, as Zel pumps his arms in a muscular fashion, posing then walking over... attempting to... and failing to military press the Demolition Member. Ax does nothing, simply watching the pathetic sight, then pushing Zel back. Fab slaps a hand over his face as he watches as Zel pops back to his feet, shrugs, then turns into a Double Clothesline from Smash and Ax, who just tagged out. Zeleke groans, as they wait for him to rise, now hitting a series of alternating axe handles to the back, Zel helpless to stop them, as Smash hoists Zeleke to his feet, both men hoisting him right into a Double Vertical Suplex! Zeleke grasps at the back a bit as both men deliver a stomping fury, until the referee breaks it up. Smash doesn't care too much, as he pulls Zeleke up by the arm, pulling him into a short arm clothesline, before pulling him back up to both feet, then right into a second clothesline! Zeleke does a full flip as he lands on his face! Smash quickly goes for the cover. 1....2.... Zeleke kicks out. Smash hmmmms, walking back over to tag in Ax, who nods. Smash grabs Zeleke, looking for a Backbreaker, but he counters desperately, a strong elbow to the side of the head, then whipping him right into Ax before he can dive off to complete the Decapitation Elbow! Ax groans, falling to the mat as Smash recovers, grabbing Zeleke by the leg, holding him still so he can't tag out. Zeleke hops to a Vertical base, then delivers an Enziguri to the head! Smash groans, releasing his grip as Zeleke crawls full speed, diving and tagging in Faboon!
Fab hops over the top rope, charging and nailing Smash with a Calf Kick as he recovers, taking him back down. Ax charges, right into a Drop Toe Hold. Fab then hops up, delivering a double leg drop right across the back of the neck! Ax groans, grasping slightly at the area, as Smash is back up, Fab delivering a jumping neckbreaker to him! Smash goes down again as Fab pops up, snapping his fingers a few time, then charging to nail Ax as he rises with a Dropkick to the knee! Ax groans, as Zel enters the ring, getting Monkey Flipped immediately by Fab, as he goes flying, taking Ax down again! He rolls out of the ring as Zeleke is back up, as Fab sets Smash up into the bottom rope, flinging him throat first to set him atop. He grins, as he backs up, along with Zel, as they Dial That Phone, cracking Smash in the face with the stereo Tiger Feint Kicks! He rolls back along the ropes, clutching his face as Zeleke charges over, taking him down with a Shining Wizard before he can recover! He quickly lifts him up, pointing to his tag partner, who Ascends the Top Turnbuckle, Zeleke snapping off his Dizzy Spinneroo Driver, spiking Smash into the mat, just in time to meet a Crashing Helicopter Crunch from Faboon! Smash groans, as Zeleke meanwhile charges to the outside as Ax he rises, taking him down with an over the top rope flip while Faboon covers. 1....2....
3!!!
And with that, this quick little bout is over.
Announcer: Here are your winners... Team Raft Shack!
The crowd cheers happily as Zeleke and Faboon look at each other flashing a thumbs up, before immediately switching to a completely serious face, grabbing a microphone from the ring announcer.
Faboon: But seriously folks... we're here to let the world know of a terrible plight in the world of worlds. You see... there are a few endangerered species out there in this little burg... and they must be unendangered... or I smack you!
Zeleke nods.
Zeleke: That is the most rightness you've ever said... yes folks, without our help, there two ugly little beasts might not live through the next ice age... or at least till the end of the coming month cycle. For you see... GOD OF SCREENS, SHOW OUR FOOTAGE!!!
The Toomitron lights up... showing a picture of both Mr Big and Mr. Bad. Mr Big has been labeled as a big smelly skyscraper of horridness.... while Mr. Bad is known apparently as a pudgy paperweight of heavy-ness. The crowd cheers at this as Zeleke and Faboon look on in shock at the Toomitron.
Faboon: The fear I had... is even more worse than originally thought! These poor fellows look absolutely horrible! They must be sick... or ill...
Zeleke: Or unhealthy?!
Faboon pokes Zeleke's nose then nods.
Faboon: Yep... also that. But you see folks... we have a solution! A PROBLEM SOLVING OF EPIC PROPORTION!!! We have a friend who knows all about the health making and I think that I can get in touch with them just in time for this incoming Trios of Tournaments... an event that will help us to soothe these poor savage beasts and put them out of their much pain causing cries for help.
Zeleke: Awesomeness of the highest calibur! But pray tell... who is this pal that we are going to recruit... is he of attractiveness?
Faboon smacks Zeleke with the microphone shaking his head.
Faboon: Maybe not... maybe. But I will mostly assure you that he will definitely help us put these poor fellows to their well well deserved rest... especially when we hit them alot in the chest!
Zeleke: Awwww... I wanted to hit them alot in the armpit...
Faboon: SCREW YOU!!!
Zeleke reaches into his tights, pulling out a ziploc baggy... then pulling out of that, a slightly smooshed PB and J sandwich! he gobbles it instantly, then goes running wildly out of the ring, not stopping until he's all the way backstage. Faboon grins, following him as he Egyptian walks his way to follow... as the crowd just kinda stares at this odd goings on, but not minding at all.
We then fade to next segment
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Mar 27, 2007 21:24:08 GMT -5
*We're at the Sesame Place ampitheatre, where a slew of families of all ages are gathered around for a supposed Sesame Street Live show. However, "High Voltage (Footsoldier Remix)" plays, and the crowd boos at the Cidal Squad as they walk from behind the curtain of the stage, Mike Ragnal walking out first with the EWT World Heavyweight Championship around his waist, with a mic in hand.*
MIKE: And there it is. Proof that no matter what I do, you people, you FANS, don't appreciate me! Do you know what I did this past Sunday? I dethroned the WORST man to ever wear this belt around his waist. I BEAT Merc, and I did it without Duke or Doe by my side. But hey, they had their reason. After all, Minipax, Rated X and a caboodle of others got involved in the match. But that doesn't matter to me, because whos' the one wearing the strap? Mike Ragnal, THAT'S who!
*The audience boos them, and the camera turns for a second to look at a child wearing Mike's old red shirt. The camera then shifts back to the Squad.*
MIKE: Do I have to remind you who was putting on five star classics while Merc was lusting over Trish? Who was making the tag team division watchable while he went on to play cowboy? Do I?! I shouldn't have to! Because like I've done with the Tag Team Championship, like I did with the Tri-State title...this title is going to be worth looking at around my waist. And I'm going to start that...with my first match against Joe One! Now, this match is going to take place withing the next week, so don't get your hopes up for that being your Crapamania main event!
*More boos.*
MIKE: SHADDAP! I've said my piece. Duke...you know what to do.
*Mike hands the mic to Duke, and the crowd eggs on him before he even speaks.*
Duke: The Cidal Squad has...at last...become the GOLD STANDARD in EWT. In our ranks, we have the holder of the most prestigous belt in all of professional wrestling...The EWT World Belt. But I didn't come out here for sloppy BJ's. I came out here to make a challenge for Crap-a-mania. Y'see, even though I am indeed happy for Mike's win, I still have a bad taste in my mouth because I wasn't booked.
But I will make sure that that will never happen again! So, I make the challenge now. The Cidal Squad already has the best singles worker in the company in Mike, but now we want to prove our dominance in other faccets of this business. So any team, 2 men, trios, whatever,come out if you think you can hang with the Cidal Squad!
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,412
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Mar 28, 2007 0:01:52 GMT -5
A-MER-I-CA!!
The ampitheatre goes dark, causing the Cidal Squad to be barely visible. Fireworks erupt, causing little starts to fall down. Two men walk out, one noticably shorter than the other, but seems to be in control.
A-MER-I-CA!!
The lights go uo, revealing The Thug KoneXion, Chrstian Starr and Matthew Riot. The tw stnad on top of a trash can, while sounds can be heard coming out.
Voice: GET OFF MY HOUSE!!!
Starr: Shut up ya Grouch!! Now, The Cidal Squad, was it? Any relation to Matt Sydal? No? Alright, well anyway, me and Matthew were on our way to get a picture with Big Bird when we overheard you laying down an open challenge. Well, since we have nothing to do, and you sure as hell aren't doing anything, what say we have ourselves a good old fashion brawl? That is, if you two aren't scared of someone with as much STARR power as myslef and a man who's a one-man RIOT squad. So, when you've decided on whether or not you accept, meet us at Big Bird's place. You can't miss it, it's a big old nest in the center of the park.
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B.A.
Grimlock
Posts: 13,335
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Post by B.A. on Mar 28, 2007 12:03:36 GMT -5
Eddie: I'm not facing the Hulkster..nope, no no no...you know why? Because..he doesn't deserve me.
Crowd: booooooooooooooo
Eddie: I've had my run and obviously I'm not cut out to be a good champ. Cause you see, toomi wants to run the show..he wants his precious suckups to go ahead and be champions, well you know what I say? Let them be. Let them be champions, let them do and be what they obviously are good at and that's kissing ass. He wants me to face you Hogan?
Eddie: NOPE. Screw this, screw your ref screw you hulk and if any fans don't like it, screw them..i'm outta here.
*Ref tries to stop Eddie, but Eddie turns around and looks at the ref before punching him in the face sending him flying*
Eddie: OOps, looks like there is no ref.......YOU DON'T PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME!!!!!!
*he looks to the crowd and leaves the ring, as he makes his way up the aisle Hulks music starts*
Hogan comes out as the crowd goes crazy. He looks down the aisle and points at Eddie, as the camera looks at Eddie's face. Eddie wants Hogan dead, he waits until Hogan gets to the ring and punches him, but Hogan blocks it and punches him back and again. He throws Eddie in the ring and tears of his shirt as the crowd goes crazy. He irish whips Eddie into the ropes and gives him a big boot...Eddie is on his back on the canvas as Hulk goes to the crowd to do his trademark taunt to hear the crowd. He points at Omega on the ground, runs to the ropes but Eddie is not out of it yet as he rolls out the ring..
Crowd: You Suck! You Suck!!!
Eddie is holding the back of his head as he waves off facing Hogan in the ring. Hogan's music starts and he goes to the ropes taunting to the fans as they go nuts.
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Mar 28, 2007 14:04:28 GMT -5
(Cut to the inside of an office at Sesame Place where sitting behind a table (left to right) are The Daryl Dragon, PsyToni Tennille, and King Ultimo Choculon. Standing in front of the table is one of the Cruel Connection. Above the doorway is a sign that says "Ultimo Dragon +1 Tryouts". It's already been a long day, evidenced by UC slouching in his chair and drumming his fingers, but Tennille and Dragon are just as peppy as ever."
UC: "So anyway, Mr. Connection, thanks for your interest in joining our little thing here. Don't call us all, we'll call you."
(Cruel Connection turns and walks out the door.)
UC: "Like hell we'll call you! Jeebus H *BEEP!*, was that guy a load!"
Tennille: "I liked him!"
UC: "You liked every single guy that we've interviewed!"
Tennille: "Well, yes, but I think this Connection fellow was rather keen"
UC: "His mask was on crooked."
Tennille: "All the kids wear their hats crooked. He was just keeping up with the times."
UC: "We've had 47 applicants and they've all been losers! I swear we should just slap a Halloween mask on a tackling dummy and call it good."
Tennille: "It's been done."
UC: (lets out a huge groan) "Fertheluvva.................NEXT!"
(The door opens and in walks ROH huggie bear and charisma vortex Roderick Strong.)
UC: "And you are?"
Strong: (in a flat monotone) "Roderick. Roderick Strong."
UC: (cocks an eyebrow) "You're last name is Strong?"
Tennille: "Wow! With a name like that I be you're REALLY strong!"
UC: "Right. So anyway, skippy. What makes you think you can be a member of Ultimo Dragon +1?"
Strong: (voice flatter than a piece of paper) "I was in one of the greatest stables of all time, Generation Next. I was tag champion with Austin Aries. And I know about 27 different ways to apply a backbreaker."
Tennille: "Wow! 27!"
UC: "Mmmm-hmmm. Great. Couldn't help but notice that it's a little painful to listen to you talk, Roddy. Your voice is like the constant droning of some piece of assembly line machinery. In case you haven't noticed our group here is known for being charismatic. We're charismatic as *BEEP!* That's why the people love us. Not because we came up with 200 different ways to give somebody a back rake. Come back when you learn some knock knock jokes or something."
Tennille: "Hold on! Let's give him a chance! Mr. Strong, I love that name, we're going to give you a chance to show us that you can be charismatic!"
Strong: (like Jake Lloyd in Phantom Menace) "Oh boy."
UC: (leaning over to Tennille) "Don't encourage him."
Tennille: (to UC) "You hush! (back to Strong). Ok! Give me............happy!"
(Strong stares blankly.)
Tennille: "Sad!"
(same)
Tennille: "Angry!"
(ditto)
Tennille: "Surprised!"
(no change)
Tennille: "Flirtatious!"
(same as it ever was)
UC: "Constipated!"
Tennille: "Ultimo!"
UC: "Sorry...........Anyway, there's the door, Roddy. When you turn the handle and push, the door opens. Then you go through it and keep right on walking. Have a nice day."
(Roderick leaves the room and the two confer as Daryl plays air keyboard on the table.)
UC: "Don't say it."
Tennille: "I liked him!"
UC: "Good gravy..................NEXT!"
(The lights go out in the room and some heavy distorted breathing are heard. The Ultimo Dragon Three look around baffled as gothic techno music blares and a ring of fire opens up on the floor. A dark figure rises up from out of the fire catching the attention of the three and the lights come back up as the music turns off and the fire goes out.)
New guy: "Greetings! I am The Count! I love to count things!"
(The UD3 look at each other with "WTF?" expressions on their faces.)
UC: "I guess we should have seen this coming."
Tennille: "Well hello there, Mr. Count. It's a pleasure to meet you. So, why would you like to joint our trios team?"
The Count: "It's very simple, my dear! A trios team needs three people! One! Two! Three! Ah! Ah! Ah!"
UC: "He's got a point there."
Tennille: "I suppose he does. Well, Mr. Count. We'll let you know our decision after we interview the rest of the applicants."
The Count: "One! You have one more applicant! I counted!"
UC: "Wow, he's good!"
(The flames and techno goth music come back on and The Count sinks into the floor, laughing the whole way. The room goes back to normal and the UD3 confer.)
UC: "I liked him!"
Tennille: "You did? That's a first! But we still have one more person to interview. Let's see if he can top that!"
UC: "NEXT!"
(The next person who comes through the door is the newcomer to the EWT Voltigeur. The UD3 all sit back in surprise at the size of him.)
UC: "Well now. You're a big 'un."
Tennille: "What's your name?
Voltigeur: "My real name is Klarr van Coheein, but I seldom go by that name. I prefer to be known as Voltigeur."
Tennille: "I see. So why would you like to join our trios team?"
Voltigeur: "Times are troubling in the world, and the tainting force of evil is spreading. I ask to sign on with you, and aid you in your attempt to usurp dominance from the grasp of those who do no good!"
(The UD3 do a simultanious slow nod at Voltigeur.)
UC: "Huddle!"
(The UD3 all gather around each other as Voltigeur stands in the background looking rather intense.)
UC: "What do you think of this guy?"
Tennille: "I like him! I think he'll fit in nicely!"
UC: "I dunno. He's a little creepy."
Tennille: "He'll be fine! Besides we can use some muscle on the team!"
UC: "True, true. I'm sure he can bust some skulls, but can we trust him?"
Tennille: "How can you not trust a face like that?"
(All three look up at Voltigeur, who's got an expression that can only be described as "troubling" and go back to their huddle.)
UC: "Well...............he does seem to be on the level. But I still prefer the purple vampire. Dragon. What do you think?"
Daryl: "Who do you call your headwear is backed up? Hat-O-Rooter!"
UC: "I guess when you put it like that.............."
(The UD3 turn back to Voltigeur and tell him the good news.)
UC: "Congratulations, Voldemort. You're now an official member of Ultimo Dragon +1. Anything you'd like to say?"
Voltigeur: "That, your highness, is Voltigeur. But I am most deeply honored to be your guardian and ward in the tournament. Thank you, and I shall put forth my greatest effort!"
(With that Voltigeur nods and exits the room.)
UC: "That was different."
Tennille: "Oh come on! He's clearly the best person for the job!"
UC: "Yeah, yeah. But if he starts sacrificing chickens or something I'm calling The Count!"
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Post by Virus aka Captain No-Nuts on Mar 28, 2007 14:32:24 GMT -5
(We fade into Sesame Place to see Lillian Garcia ready to announce the next match-up. Superstar Billy Graham's theme music plays over the speakers as the crowd pops for the WWE Hall of Famer.)
Lillian: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL! Introducing first, from Paradise Valley, Arizona, he stands at 6'4" tall and weighs in at 275 pounds, he is a WWE Hall of Famer... the "SUPERSTAR"... BILLY! GRAHAM!
(Graham gets into the ring and begins to stretch out, waving to the fans as the familiar "PREPARE TO BE INFECTED!" blasts over the audio system and fades into Purify.)
Lillian: And his opponent, hailing from Lewiston, Idaho, he weighs in at 290 pounds and stands 6 feet 10 inches tall... VIRUS!
(The crowd bursts into "THANK YOU VIRUS! *clap, clap, clap clap clap*" chants, still appreciative of his interruption of Oceanic's tirade at Dead Man Walking. Virus bows to the crowd before delivering his ramp slap to set off his pyro, and then makes his way into the ring. He offers his hand out to Graham, who accepts as the referee calls for the bell.)
DING DING DING!
The two men waste no time in tying up. After a brief struggle, it is blatantly clear that neither man has the advantage yet, and the tie-up ends in a breakaway as Graham sizes up Virus and vice versa. The two charge in for another tie-up, or so Virus thinks, but he didn't anticipate Graham coming in with a HUGE shoulderblock! Virus loses balance and falls down to the mat, immediately getting back up... only to eat ANOTHER shoulderblock, and ANOTHER! Graham is really building up a head of steam as he stamps his feet and digs in for a LARIATOOOOOOOOOOOOO--HHHHMYGODWHATTAMANEUVER! Virus gets back up to his feet and ducks under the lariat, bouncing off the ropes and hitting a flying cross-body on the Superstar! Quick pin...
1... no, kickout! Graham kicks out almost before Referee Lee gets a count off, and both men return to their feet, winded after the burst of activity. The crowd is positively electric at the brisk pace of the match so far, and cheers as the men shake hands again for a nice series of moves. The two charge each other again, but this time Virus pulls a new trick out of the bag, shooting low and taking Graham down in a double-leg takedown! Virus then gets on top of the WWE hall of famer and starts hitting mounted punches!
1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7 punches! Graham doesn't seem to be too fazed, however, as he manages to roll Virus over and start hitting punches of his own!
1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8 shots from Graham before Virus rolls back over him and hits a few more shots in before Graham throws Virus off! Virus is feeling the momentum as the Superstar gets back up to his feet just in time to see Virus hit a standing dropkick! Both men are down, but not for long as Virus nips up and starts pacing around the ring, roaring with adrenaline! He stands directly behind Graham, signaling for the Infection... Graham gets up.... Virus goes to turn Graham around...
... and eats a massive European uppercut! Graham turns around as Virus staggers backwards, holding his jaw. Graham smirks and goes in for the kill, hitting a few wicked haymakers on Virus before Irish whipping him into the ropes and hitting a TILT-O-WHIRL BACKBREAKER! Virus writhes in pain as Graham continues to stomp away on Virus's back, obviously setting up for the bear hug.
Graham finally breaks off the mudhole stomping and lets Virus return to his feet slowly, where Graham wastes no time in cinching in THE BEAR HUG! Even though he's half a foot shorter then Virus, Graham manages to apply some serious pressure to the back of Virus, and Virus screams out in pain. Virus regains his senses, however, boxing the Superstar around the ears, which loosens the grip of Graham, and another box to the ears breaks it entirely. Virus bounces off the ropes and hits a flying lariat, rolling through with the momentum as Graham hits the mat and bounces right back up.
The crowd begins to chant "THIS IS AWESOME!" as the two men once again find themselves standing across from each other, sizing their opponent up for the next move. This time, however, Virus has a clear advantage as he hits a vicious kick directly to the Superstar's solar plexus! Virus wastes no time in applying the front chancery, and as he lifts the Superstar up into the air, the crowd leans forward, trying to tell if Virus is going to hit the sit-down powerbomb or toss Graham into the Diamond Cutter like he did to Dusty Katzenberger...
... Virus spins around for a second before SLAMMING GRAHAM DOWN WITH THE SIT-DOWN POWERBOMB! The crowd roars in appreciation for the return of the Infection as the referee makes the count.
1! ... 2! ... 3!
DING DING DING!
("Purify" plays over the loudspeakers as Virus untangles himself from the body of Superstar Billy Graham. He gets his hand raised by the referee, then helps Graham back up to his feet, where the two shake hands again. Graham limps to the back as Virus asks for a microphone.)
Virus: Cut the music! ("Purify" stops.) Now... as you all saw, last Sunday at Dead Man Walking, I came out to this very ring... even though we weren't in Sesame Place... (Virus gestures at the various residents of Sesame Place scattered throughout the crowd)... and finally called Oceanic out. Apparently what I said and did struck a chord, because as far as I'm aware, Oceanic has turned tail and run away and has not shown up here in Sesame Place yet.
But somehow... I get the feeling she's watching this right now. So all I've got to say is this... Oceanic... you can't run forever. You're going to have to come back sometime to defend that Tri-State title. And when you do... I'll be waiting. Because I'm not done with you yet.
And if you don't believe that... you had better PREPARE... to BE... INFECTED!
(The crowd pops as Virus returns to the backstage area, "Purify" once again playing over the loudspeakers as we fade to commercial.)
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,412
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Mar 28, 2007 18:00:51 GMT -5
The Bolsheviks are standing in the ring, getting a bit of a nostalgic pop from the parents who are treating the little bastards to the park. "Forgive me Father.... For I shall sin.... Against those who have caused me harm..... and to those who are looking to harm me.... Please keep my spot in heaven.... safe" "The Day My Faith Died" plays as the fans give a nie pop. After about 10 seconds, Mike Corral walks out, looking like this instead of his usual self. Mike looks out to the crowd as Marcus Saxton comes out to cheers from the crowd. Mike snaps out of his funk and rushes towards the ring, with Saxton following close behind. Mike dives into the ring and heads straight for Volkoff as Saxton heads for Zhukoff. DING DING DING The math is officially underway, with Corral attacking Volkoff with elbows to the temple. Corral gets off as Volkoff ecovers, and runs full steam before kicking Volkoff in the head like a soccer ball. Volkoff rolls out of the ring, a trail of blood following him. Meanwhile, Saxton is showing no signs of ring rust, trading punches with Zhukoff. Zhukoff grabs a right and twirls Saxton around before hitting a reverse cutter. Saxton goes down as Zhukoff gets up, and gets LEVELED with a big boot from Corral that nearly knoks his teeth out. Corral picks Zhukoff up and hoists him for what seems to be the F-U. Saxton runs toward Corral and hits a running neckbreaker as Corral hits a Samoan Drop. Zhukoff is out like a light as Corral gets up to cheers from the crowd. Both men go to the top before hitting the X-Plosion. Saxton makes the pin as Corral prevents Volkoff from entering. 1.. 2.. 3.. DING DING DING Saxton gets up, smiling as the fans cheer for the duo. Corral just stares solemnly before exiting the ring along with Saxton, showing no emotion.
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Post by The Bad Man on Mar 28, 2007 19:25:56 GMT -5
We go backstage at the Sesame Place EWT Arena and find Mr. Big is on the phone in a darkened room of the arena. Wearing his dark sunglasses and a smart suit some might be fooled into thinking Mr. Big was a decent man, of course though we know that he is a human monster ... he appears to be in discussion with someone. In the distance we can hear the clanking of chains on the cold hard floor along with the horrible sound of Mr. Bads laughter.
MR. BIG (on the phone): Your telling me he can't do it? ... there's no way? ... damm he would have been perfect ... Big, Bad and Bigger ... all because he is lacking a proper visa ... very well ... good bye ...
Mr. Big clicks his phone shut and crosses a name off a list he is holding.
*Giant Haystacks[/i]*
At this moment we can see Oscar's worm Slimey wriggling across the table next to Mr. Big. Before anyone can so much as say 'Hi-De-Ho Kermit the Frog Here' Mr. Bigs immense fist comes crashing down on Slimey crushing it into nothingness, The crowd boos with anger.
MR. BIG: Dammed insect ridden rooms in this place!
Mr. Big goes back to his list
MR. BIG: Let's see who's left .... Good evening Mr. Bad.
Mr. Bad has just walked on screen, Mr. Big hasn't looked at him but can obviously tell he is there by his sheer horrific presence.
MR. BAD (Raspy Gurgling Voice): I found him ... flheh flheh fleh ... Will he be the one? ...
Mr. Big looks up from his writings and takes a visible step back from the as yet unseen person Mr. Bad has found. Big composes himself, places his pencil in a groove on Mr. Bad's head and addreses his bowling ball shaped grotesque of a partner
MR. BIG: Hmmm ... I would only want are opponents to suffer this misfortune if the penultimate man on my list is unavailable.
There is a knock on the door and in walks ... The Great Khali!
MR. BIG: Glad you could come Mr. Khali ... now then I have been recommended you by some of my former associates ...
MR. BAD (Raspy Gurgling Voice): ... You shouldn't speak to him .. he isn't Bad enough for you!!
Mr. Big tries to ignore Mr. Bad's concerns
KHALI: YEAAASSH!
MR. BIG: Now I have heard of your fights with tigers, your domination of wwe superstars .. but Mr. Khali for you to join our three man team all you need do is defeat ...
Mr. Big points off screen ... Khali looks to where he is pointing
MR. BIG: Him!
KHALI: IVE WANTASHHH COMPETISHHHTIONON!!
Khali strides off screen and the sounds of a fight can be heard, Mr. Bad giggles like a chimp attached to a fire cracker as he watches. Mr. Big simply turns his head half-interested to watch. The fight grows in noise as the sounds of things being smashed, thrown, a growl and crushed can be heard. Suddenly The Great Khali stumbles back into view a bloody mess all across his body, he looks confused before charging back off screen again.
MR. BIG: hmmmm
As the final sounds of a great fight can be heard, The Great Khali comes flying across the room, landing in a heap of boxes out cold his chest ripped to shreds and his face oozing with gore. Mr. Big crosses The great Khali off the list. Mr. Bad is delighted his fat heaving in satisfaction.
MR. BIG: You are sadistic Mr. Bad. But Brilliant.
MR. BAD: flheh .. flheh .. flheh .. thank you ...
Mr. Bad pulls on a chain that is lying on the ground and into view comes there third man in the trios tournament ... the crowd can be hear to gasp in shock!
MR. BIG: A fine addition to our team ... we shall now be known as BIG, BAD & BEAR!
There third team mate is Terrible Ted, The Wrestling Bear!! ... As Mr. Big & Mr. Bad laugh sadisticly, Terrible Ted stands on his hind legs and roars loudly bearing his teeth which are covered in blood from his fight with The Great Khali. The EWT fans are startled into shocked silence as we fade out.
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Post by raftshack on Mar 28, 2007 20:07:24 GMT -5
Almost immediately after... a large wooden crate is seen being loaded out of a truck... as Zeleke and Faboon, disguised in false mustaches and trench-coats, are seen waiting... looking around in anticipation. A truck is heard driving away as Zeleke drops a pocket TV... apparently having watched the last segment.
Zeleke: Oh no bro... they gots a wild animal yo!!!
Faboon looks over and nods.
Faboon: Oh really... well it's okay, because our secret weapon... will lead us to much victory! More victory then we can spend in months!
Zeleke: May I spend it on disco balls?!
Faboon giggles, shaking his head... as he reaches down, thrusting a crowbar into Zeleke's arms.
Faboon: Now... YOU MUST PRY!!!
Zeleke quickly nods, reaching over to open the box... only for it to suddenly get punched right through by a fist! The thing inside keeps punching, kicking, and pushing... eventually breaking the thing as standing before the two is their Trio's Partner...
The Canceler. Except he's wearing a lime green tank top, matching sweatpants, headband, and has grown out his hair alot... the beard still intact though as he looks down. He's also slimmed down a bit, dropping at least one hundred pounds, but looking as muscular as ever... just not as immobile.
Canceler: Finally... THE CANCELER HAS COME BACK... TO THE EWT! If only for a little while to promote my Yoga Studio. Now then, I came here from Russia... this way since ya dolts couldn't afford a plane ticket.
Zeleke: I'm am sorry... I had to buy butter... lots of butter!
Canceler: Ugh... butter is beyond unhealthy. I gave that up awhile ago. I switched to margarine awhile ago. Haven't gone back since.
Faboon: The counterfeit butter?! BLASPHEMY!!!
Canceler lets out a big belly laugh, slapping Zeleke on the back so hard, he falls over.
Canceler: So... shall we get going... I have to do some pre match stretches... and also, there's that whole Stables Title thing.
Faboon: Absolutely you behemoth of behemoths!
Zeleke gets back up.
Zeleke: To the Raft Shack Habitat!
Canceler easily lifts both guys onto his shoulders noddings and then starts jogging towards the EWT Arena, as we quickly cut to the next segment.
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Bedlam LadyD
Samurai Cop
Is a WSX Cupcake. BOOOOOOOM!!
Posts: 2,452
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Post by Bedlam LadyD on Mar 28, 2007 20:36:37 GMT -5
Having finished her review of former matches between former females and current women of EWT, Synthy had reached a conclusion. The women of this federation were bad ass, brutal, and quite kick ass. She was going to enjoy herself here. Her fist clenches around the Pepsi in her hand, turning her knuckles a ghostly white. She was leaning against the side of the aforementioned product's machines, carefully tucked away in a dark section of a lightly crowded hallway. She was really just relaxing, hoping for an opportunity....... Speak of the Harlot. What was this chick's name again? The noticeable toga that came into view not three seconds later reminded her of the name. Pisa Pisa. With a look of ill intent on her face and a piece of pizza cheese hanging from her lower lip. "This place, like, totally freaking disgusts me. No decent pizza anywhere. WHO THE HELL DOESN'T HAVE DECENT PIZZA?" "My god woman, just go down the street and get some. No need to complain.." "No. Bitch please, I joined this thing thinking I'd get all like, the free pizza I wanted. Not having to pay for anything is what I do best." "Then how the hell do you manage in life?" "Weird chick in the dark, can't you tell? My body does all the paying I need to do." Pisa Pisa didn't realize her mistake even after sunglassed-Synthy stepped out from the shadows. "Harlot is an appropriate term for you then. Women like you....are a cause of my misery. All throughout High School....I felt the shun of people's hearts....because they flocked to utter whores like you.You didn't love yourself....so you stole love from others. You should be punished for being the girl that was the original cause...of homely girl's broken hearts." Synthy put the Pepsi down. Before Pisa even realized what had happened, her head was being thrown plasticated face first into the Pepsi machine. "Darling Diva of Pizza toppings everywhere.....I hope you realize...I don't care." As the chick started crying at her busted nose. Synthy shook her head. "Weak women.....gross." Walking over to the buffet table, she grabbed a salad bowl. The poor green leaves winded up in a dazed Pisa's face. "Waib'll.....the obers........hear bis." Synthy shrugged, picked up her Pepsi, and walked on. "What are they gonna do? Pretty me to death?"
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Post by brokenrose on Mar 28, 2007 21:55:58 GMT -5
*The camera pans backstage as Harlot Hunt contestant Flora has a mic.*
Flora: HEY! I'm Flora! Joe, are you watching?! I thought if you saw me here you would come from out of your undisclosed location!
*BR walks by, holding the wall for support. Flora, in a desperate attempt to bring more attention to herself, waves at Juri to get her attention.*
Flora: Hey, um... Judy was it?!
BR: ...What do you want?
Flora: I WANT JOE! DO YOU KNOW WHERE HE IS?!
BR: Are you supposed to be some sort of interviewer?
Flora: Um, yes... I am! Do you know where Joe is?!
BR: ....no.
Flora: Hey, do you think if I pretend to be a good interviewer... Do you think that Joe will molest me?
BR: ...How....how old are you?
Flora: Okay, then I'll do it!
*She shoves the mic into Juri's face.*
Flora: How are you feeling after the end of your match with Terina, where you lost?!
BR: How am I? My leg is shot.. My forehead had to be stitched back together after being busted open, the hard way. And to add to all of that, I lost my submission match to Terina. How am I? I'm GREAT! This is what I came to EWT for! A challenge!
Flora: What?! Aren't you mad at Terina?!
BR: For what? For beating me, for all intensive purposes, fairly? No, not all. That night, she was the better wrestler and for that I applaud her. That being said, I can't see it happening again.
Flora: What do you think of Oce-
BR: Oh yes, I knew that would come up. Simply put, I don't get her message. She calls me a tramp while showing up to DMW in an evening gown that most low class women of the evening wouldn't even wear. Let alone in public! And what's even more confusing, she allows herself to be stripped on LIVE television. Wow, good point Oceanic... Yes, I not the ideal view of a woman is supposed to be. I don't concern myself with my appearance, nor do I act very lady like. But then, if I did, I probably wouldn't be here in the first place. But at least I can say that I still have my dignity and haven't exposed myself to the world like you. Call me as many names as you want, your actions prove you to be more trashy than I ever will be. And if you have a problem with that, I'm right here, Oceanic. Say the word, and I will make your waist ten gold pounds lighter.
Flora: Ten pounds.... What are you talking abo-
BR: Hey, look Raggy Joe is over there...
Flora: WHAT?! JOE?! JOE WHERE ARE YOU?!
*Flora runs quickly away, dropping the mic for Juri to pick up and use by herself.*
BR: Now that school girl hentai hour is over...
*She moves into full view.*
BR: I have somethings that I need to say. First, I'm sicken by EWT Management's idea of pushing such a deplorable contest known as Harlot Hunt. The quicker this garbage and the trash-
*Juri looks at the direction that Flora went in.*
BR: Involved stop making a joke of MY profession, the better. That being said... I must voice my opinion of the newest female talent to EWT, Synthy Eris.
*Juri pauses. Her straight laced face moves to a bit of a grin.*
BR: Welcome to the club, Girlie! It's been a long time and we never really were close on the indy scene, but in this female talent desert that is EWT; I find a great ally against eye candy in you. Now with this new concept of a Trios Tournament being put on by the King of Sin himself, I can't help but think one thing... There's a distinct lack of the female talent that EWT has to offer in it. That's why, I've decided to create a team of women. To prove that once and for all, there is no weaker sex.
*Flora walks back into view, teary eyed.*
Flora: Joe wasn't there...
BR: ...
*The camera fades.*
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Ass Dan
King Koopa
Curious about extra lines
Have you seen me?
Posts: 12,259
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Post by Ass Dan on Mar 28, 2007 22:11:04 GMT -5
The lights dim a little as some light percussion plays. With the word ‘Shout’, two blue explosions form a ‘V’ shape on top of the ToomiTron. The crowds boos are deafening as all six members of Minipax take to the stage. Jack Jupiter is seen wearing the new Minipax t-shirt: a navy background with the Ingsoc flag on the front and the Three Slogans on the back. Joe One takes the mic.
One: I know what all you proles are thinking, and I have an explanation for my actions. For those of you without proper telescreens, I delivered an elbow to the stomach of Mrs. Corral. As she was pregnant at the time, many have asked me: why did I do such a thing? Well, my associates at Minitrue gave me this mission after discovering a startling fact about the child I was trying to abort.
You see, this child was conceived….via sexcrime!
The audience is slightly confused, yet slightly agape.
One: In other words, the fetus was not created by goodsex practice, but rather via…receiving Mr. Corral in a rather uncomfortable place.
Jack: Like the back of a Volkswagen?
Joe One turns to Jack Jupiter. One looks to the sky, then to the ground, then to the sky again. He then continues.
One: As a functioning member of the Party, it was my duty to follow the will of BB and the will of the Party. If that fetus is still alive, then only hate will evolve from it.
One starts to pace.
One: You see, a sexcrime occurs when two willing persons engage in certain activities similar to that of goodsex, but without the intention of conceiving a child. These two people will be more infatuated with one another as a result of these actions. However, with their infatuation among one another, others, including BB, become less infatuating. This decrease of infatuation can lead to secrets being held against the will of those the secret involves, and this could result in endless pain and suffering.
One stands back at the front of the group.
One: What I did merely made sure that those who have any remote shot of do disservice to our beloved BB were made an example of and vehemently punished. As far as Minipax and I see it, I am innocent of any crime.
The audience boos Joe One.
One: Since that has been cleared, let us move on to other business. I would like to give gloryvic to TJT, for defeating two groups of non-associates.
One hands the mic to Jason Jupiter.
Jupiter: Yes, yet ANOTHER victory for the upcoming, the rising stars, the hottest team in EWT! Above all others, those fools who actually get the idea they can contend with us.
Thunder: Well of course, man. We've got power, and we've got technique.
Terina: People think "How can they get past those determined Wrestle Posse members, and those savages known as the Draugr?!"
Thunder: The answer isn't so hard to figure out. I mean, really. So we don't have unending tenacity and bloodlust, but we've got finesse. Style!
Jack: Style!
TJT look about for a moment, hoping that blurt will blow over.
Jupiter: And style is exactly what our opponents lack! What's the difference between Ghost-corpse and Wraith-face?
Terina: Why, I have no idea. Hair?
Jupiter: In that case, they should dye their hair pink, black and white. They can call themselves Los--
Thunder: NOT LISTENING TO THAT NAME! NUH-UH!
Jupiter: Er, Strawberry, Chocolate and Vanilla.
Terina: Delicious maybe, but where’s the depth?
Jupiter: So while team palette-change is on one side, we've got the Jobber Posse. Have they defeated us yet?
Thunder and Terina shake their heads in disagreement, whereas Jack just looks around.
Thunder: Exactly. Quite simply put, we are the best tag team this side of the galaxy.
Terina: We can make peace with the Wrestle Posse--after all, they haven't fouled us after the PPV. Before maybe, afterwards no. Boys, it's time to move onto bigger and better things. I defeated Juri, and she took it like a woman should! She was beaten, but she admitted it! Unlike most of the people here in the audience--
The audience boos.
Terina: --who think they are ALWAYS right. We can blame people like you for tragedies. Nuclear weapons, the bubonic plague, even the stock market crash in 1928! And those annoying fads that never die! I'm sick of it!
Thunder: AND THAT'S WHY YOU PEOPLE BETTER SHOW US SOME RESPECT! WE'RE NOT ONLY THE BEST TAG TEAM IN EWT, BUT ALSO WE'RE THE SWORN SOLDIERS OF MINIPAX!
Terina: Ironic, isn't it. We have to fight for peace. But that's okay. Jim, Jason--
Jack: Whatabout me? I won my match too!
Joe One turns to Jack Jupiter.
One: I won the match. You were just there to make the pinfall.
Jack: But that’s not the REAL Jack Jupiter!
Terina: That's nice, Jack. Anyways...
Jupiter: If you moronic fans give a damn about the records, you'll realize that the Thunder/Jupiter side of TJT has not lost a match by pinfall or submission in EWT yet!
Thunder: And people who win as much as us deserve a little something for being so nice as to care and put on a show for you--and WIN!
Terina: I don't care what my men have to go through, but they want a tag title shot.
Thunder and Jupiter crack their necks and knuckles.
Terina: They are, far and awaaaay the best team here. And what do they have to show for it? Material goods?
Thunder and Jupiter show off their new leather jackets debuted last night, all their jewelry and sunglasses.
Terina: They've got that. They've got injuries?
Thunder and Jupiter point to the parts of their bodies injured at Dead Man Walking.
Terina: Nothing too serious. But it hurts.
Thunder and Jupiter exaggerate the pain of their damage, with faked winces and grunts, and start to frown cheaply with no titles.
Terina: Alas, nothing around those empty waists of theirs. That madman and the ESM--that's exasperated straight man, for those entire incompetent inbreeds out there--get the belts with little contendership. This is the year of Minipax--and thusly, the year of TJT!
All of the three members of TJT-proper begin to boil in anger.
Thunder: And I swear, that we, TJT...
Jupiter: Will eventually get the tag titles, whether you like it or not!
Thunder and Jupiter immediately lighten up, and Terina flashes a smile and giggles.
Terina: Now over to you, our great Number 1 Contender for the EWT Championship, Mister One.
The audience continues to boo as One takes the mic back.
One: Thank you. But at Dead Man walking, not only was I victorious, not only was TJT victorious, but so was our Regent, Mr. Indigo.
Joe hands the microphone to the Toolshed Champion.
Indigo: It seems as though lately a lot of proles want to use me as their steeping stone to immortality in EWT. Well I have messages for Redface Rodgers, and Singapore Caine: When you step into the ring with Christopher Indigo, resistance is irrelevant. You both have tried to take away my legacy…
Indigo looks at Toolshed Title.
Indigo:…but clearly you can't accept the fact you've let glory slip from your grasp. Your one-track minds feed you the same ducktalk over and over: "You'll get him next time." There won't be a next time, for either of you. The both of you will never have a three second wall between you and this title again. The both of you will fade into obscurity, just the way Spyke Johannson did. Just the way Marcus "Stylez" Saxton did. I leave you with what I have said in doubleplus hope the ducktalk you cling to for life, for feeling, is let go of, and your eyes open to this image.
Indigo raises his Toolshed Title victoriously.
Indigo:This is the image that will last forever! Now, as for Rated X, you have not escaped the path of unexistance, you will feel peace be brought, even if it's running out of your skulls...
One snatches the mic back.
One: Hold on for a second, Mr. Indigo.
Indigo looks furious.
One: The Ministry of Peace is not about losing your cool. Nothing in the Ministry of Peace is about losing.
Jack Jupiter laughs at that line, but gets a punch in the gut from his brother.
One: You know, we can talk all night about our past victories, but let's look to the future. It seems that Mr. Ragnal wants to waste as little time as possible to lose his title. Well, he'll be in.....
Suddenly, the arena goes black, and ‘No Quarter’ by Led Zeppelin plays over the PA system. Out walk Andy Duke, Jonathan Doe, and the new EWT World Heavyweight Champion, Mike Ragnal. They step in the ring.
Duke: Hey guys. "Insecticidal" Andy Duke here, and although it may sound cliché, I have something to suggest to you. Instead of fighting each other, and tearing EWT apart and getting no where, why don't we, Minipax and the Cidal Squad, the two most dominant factions in EWT, join forces and rule EWT with an Iron Fist?
The audience is agape at the suggestion. One raises one of his eyebrows in surprise.
Duke: What do you say to that?
Joe One walks back and forth, contemplating the situation. He whispers something to Christopher Indigo, and Indigo whispers something back. One faces the Cidal Squad.
One: Minipax shall not compromise its personal goals with anarchists.
The audience cheers, strangely, for One’s unwavering answer.
Duke: Than you leave us no other choice...
Suddenly, Duke throws a punch to One, and all hell breaks loose. Eventually, the numbers game catches up to the Cidal Squad, with One locking in the Dragon Sleeper on Andy Duke, Christopher Indigo and Jack Jupiter mounting punches on Jonathon Doe, and TJT giving double-team moves on Mike Ragnal. Suddenly, Rated X and Marcus Saxton run out to the ring to join in the action. Corral starts to give a beatdown on One, Saxton hits uppercut after uppercut on Indigo, and Michaels hits clothesline after clothesline on the remaining members. The Cidal Squad regain ground and a clusterf*** breaks out. About 30 members of security rush in to try to break up the action as we…
*CUT TO COMMERCIAL*
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Bedlam LadyD
Samurai Cop
Is a WSX Cupcake. BOOOOOOOM!!
Posts: 2,452
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Post by Bedlam LadyD on Mar 28, 2007 22:20:37 GMT -5
*Camera closes in on Synthy Eris, whom is now standing back over the fallen Harlot, essentially just to show off a little*
"Juri Sadamoto. I heard what you had to say. I thank you for the appreciated welcome. I realize the most we ever really had to say to each other on the Indies was a mere 'Hi'. But I must agree with you on most of your accounts. These Harlots.....they are a mockery of us. It sickens and saddens me that we must be held in contest with the plastic Barbies. I hope the rest of these ...bugs are listening as you are. I'm hunting them down. I've taken out the trash with Phibian....and I've busted pieces of Pisa behind me. I'm a Hunter. They are the Hunted..... but I must trek away from the talk of such despicable creatures. Otherwise I may gagomit. Vile. To state my original intent of this broadcast, Juri! You....uttermost....Complete Heartbroken Badass! The smile that nears the surface when I watch your matches....the elegance of your talent....if you'll let me... I would like to be a part of your team. It was open-ended in your promo...and with such little talent pool to choose from...but in case I may have misinterpreted, I am asking you if I can join. It'd be an utmost honor. Broken Rose, we can show the EWT once and for all....honor and talent have no gender. I'd like to extend my hand as an honorary friend, of Juri Sadamoto."
With those words, she tipped her sunglasses in salute, and gave a final hard kick to Pisa Pisa.
End Camera shot*
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Mar 28, 2007 23:55:12 GMT -5
*In Sesame Place by Ernie's Waterworks, The six EWT Harlots are dancing around, once again for no reason. Anne seems to be prefectly fine after he run in with Synthy, although Pisa doesn't seem much better, wearing a plastic mask over her face. Ten feet away from them is Joe Ragnal, an envelope in hand.*
JOE: Hey, folks. Welcome back to the EWT Harlot Hunt. Now, I have with me here, thankfully, the first elimination.
*Joe rips open the envelope, and takes out a piece of paper from inside. He reads it, and sighs.*
JOE: Dammit, it's not Flora. But at least one of you nuisances are leaving. Anita...?
*Anita looks up in shock.*
JOE: You're gone. But since you'll be leaving, we thought we'd do you a favor and clean you up. Boys?
*Two men in hazmat suits that read "Has Matt?" on them each grab Anita by the arms, and throw her into the water. As she gargles the water and flops around thanks to the water, the girls just cheer for no reason.*
JOE: Alright, that's leaves us with five girls remaining. Ladies, get your best bikinis on, because your first competition'll be coming up at the Ampitheater here in Sesame Place.
*The girls cheer on more, as Anne Phibian pets Dwayne in excitement, while Flora jumps up and down like a giddy school girl as we fade to the next segment.*
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