Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Mar 26, 2007 8:53:55 GMT -5
*The camera is focused backstage. Standing in a cloud of smoke alternating in colors thanks to some lighting fixtures, is a man. Something about this figure is unfamiliar. He seems to be rather tall, and bearing a sgnificant amount of muscle. Yet, not too much. What he is wearing exactly cannot be determined; only the shadow of his body can be seen. And his face is suppressed by darkness.*
Man: This world is a dark, uninhabitable place. It is not a respectable place anymore.
*Camera changes focus to a number of clips, each changing to whatever he names.*
Man: Familiar violence.....gambling.....drugs.....prostitution.....dark hatred.....perversion, sexual and otherwise.....wreckless abandon.....ignorance.....
*The camera cuts back to him.*
Man: That is not the problem. Nor are those who partake in them. That is not their fault. They have been poisoned; they aren't purposeful trouble..........
But I am.
It is upon that from which I have fallen to a darker level. I grew up in a good family, and in a wrong world, and yet I had the power to resist. I could have resisted if I wanted to. I succumbed to the lust for darkness. The world around us is crumbling. I sought to embrace it......
That was my mistake.
And so I departed, and felt that I must train and purify my state of mind. For 3 years I lived in a monestary, holding my own and feeling my personal peace returning. The monks....they were kind. And they taught me much. But that was not all. I travelled, from one place to another, seeking new things to learn. My mind became purified.
And my way of purification.....combat with all forces that seek not for the greater good. Wearing them down, driving them hard. Past their limits, and making them break. Peace works. But WAR drives the stake into peace.
For my name is Voltigeur, and EWT shall be my home.
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Post by crauswell on Mar 26, 2007 11:00:43 GMT -5
As we fade in from commercial... we cut to a familiar locker-room... as a nearly motionless furry sits in front of the TV in his room, not moving a single inch, as he has a remote in his hand... seemingly nearly lifeless as he gazes back at the screen...
TV: Flip DDT!!! Flip DDT! That's it... Cover him! 1...2....3!!!
Crauswell slowly raises the remote, rewinding once again.
TV: 1...2....3!!!
He does this again...
TV: 1...2...3!!!
and again...
TV: 1...2...3!!!
and again once more...
TV: 1...2...3!!!
Finally he growls angrily, chucking the remote across the room, as it smashes right into the VCR! He rips the now ejected tape out, as it's apparently a copy of Dead Man Walking. In mere seconds he begins stomping the holy hell out of it... reducing the tape to a pile of plastic shards... as he pants heavily... letting out a soft sigh, gazing down as his now empty waist. He sniffles softly, seeming about to cry... a rather pathetic idea, as he walks over to a corner of the room... sitting down on a chair nearby... as he sinks down into it.
Crauswell: At Dead Man Walking... AT THE MOST TRAITOROUS OF EVENTS... by some divine miracle perhaps, Cassinova defeated me. He pinned me to the mat... 1...2...3. He held my shoulders down, he kept me from answering the count, he HUMILIATED ME!!! HE EMBARRASSED EVERY ONE OF US!!!! He... there's no way I can let him get away with this... no way
Suddenly from atop a nearby shelf blows a copy of something... as it settles into Craus's lap. The gryphon suited man slowly reaches down, looking it over... it's a copy of his EWT Contract? He simply nods... reaching over and picking up the phone nearby leaning in, seeming quite a bit more pleased now as he hits the redial button... leaning back now, until eventually the person's he's calling obviously picks up.
Crauswell: Hello there my sweet Fluffy butt... hee, I've been missin ya lots! How's it going? Oh... really? You just became the champion down there... that's awesome news! I wish I could still be champion... no, some idiot stole it from me. I think his name was Cassinova or somethin like that. Yep... another basher. Say... maybe you could do me a favor? I have an idea... that will help me get my dignity back... I just need you to call some of my friends...
Fade to next segment
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Mar 26, 2007 11:30:08 GMT -5
*Toom E Dangerously is walking across the rope bridge of Sesame Place as fans are around the bridge, going crazy at the thought that EWT has come to Sesame Place.* Sunny days, chasing the clouds away. On my way to where the air is sweet. Can you tell me how to get...how to get to EWT? And what a sunny day it is. Think about it. We have a new Heavyweight Champion we could be proud of. It's almost like Merc phoned in that match & hopefully now his whining, sniveling ass is done. He was barely seen prior to his match & I doubt he will be seen again. And maybe now the Academy will do what Merc wants & make him number 1...on the list of Top Losers. But now, onto more important matters. See, we appreciate you fans of EWT. So much, that we have arranged to stay right here in Sesame Place until May 6th. And in typical fashion, we will end our run here in Sesame Place with a BANG!!!! As May 6th, we will return to pay per view for an extravagant event. An event that everybody will truly love. An event that will NEVER grow up. An event of EXTREME magnitude. An event PERFECT for you, the fans. An event of epic proportions. And, as we always say in the industry...4th time's a charm. Crap-a-mania !!!! [/CENTER]
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Mar 26, 2007 13:41:44 GMT -5
Fink: "The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, the team of Paul Roma and Jim Powers, THE YOUNG STALLIONS!"
(Generic butt rock comes on and running down the aisle come the Stallions in their big poofy jackets. They jump into the ring and do a few fists pumps to the thrill of the crowd...)
Fan 1: (to his friend) "Do you want to go for burgers after this?"
Fan 2: "We had burgers last night. Let's get burritos."
Fan 1: "No can do. I got a date tomorrow and I don't need to be laying stink bombs all night."
Fan 2: "You have a date? Since when?"
Fan 1: "A couple days ago. I asked out Susie."
Fan 2: "Susie? As in Susie Derkins? From French class?"
Fan 1: "Yeah."
Fan 2: "Isn't she dating Calvin."
Fan 1: "They broke up."
Fan 2: "Are you sure? Cuz I saw those two walking around town yesterday and they seemed pretty chummy."
Fan 1: "Really? I could have sworn they called it quits a month ago."
Fan 2: "Are you sure she agreed to a "date"? When you asked her out did you say the word "date" or did you just be all vague like you normally are?"
Fan 1: "I'm vague?"
Fan 2: "Yeah, you always say "would you like to go for coffee sometime?" instead of coming right out and asking."
Fan 1: "Going out for coffee is implying that it's a date."
Fan 2: "No it isn't. It's just going out for coffee. A date is more involved than that."
Fan 1: "You mean like dressing up in a monkey suit and going to a restaurant or something?"
Fan 2: "Yeah, something like that. No wonder you haven't had a girlfriend in three years."
Fan 1: "Like you're one to talk. When's the last date you ever had?:
Fan 2: "I had one last week."
Fan 1: "Chatting with that girl in Omaha over IM at three in the morning isn't a date."
Fan 2: "At least I know she's single."
Fan 1: "Are you even sure that she's a she?"
Fan 2: "Yes, I'm sure. She sent me a picture of herself."
Fan 1: "You mean that picture of Brigitte Bardot you have taped to your monitor?"
Fan 2: "That's not Brigitte Bardot!"
Fan 1: "Yes it is! That picture is from the 50's! Why do you think the it's black & white?"
Fan 2: "Because she had it done by a professional photographer and the black & white makes it look more elegant."
Fan 1: "Dude, it's a movie still from "And God Created Woman". I think somebody's messing with you."
Fan 2: "It's not Brigitte Bardot. You're tripping."
Fan 1: "I'm "tripping"? People still say that? "Tripping"? Are you serious?"
Fan 2: "Yes, I'm serious. You're buggin'.
Fan 1: "I'm "buggin'" now. First I was "tripping" now I'm "buggin". Wow. Way to stay with the times. What's next? Show me the money?"
Fan 2: "Dude, shut up."
Fan 1: "Hey, get a load of this one. Don't worry! Be happy!"
Fan 2: "Now you're just being immature."
Fan 1: "Things that make you go.........Hmmmmmmmmmmm?"
Fan 2: "Says the guy who still wears an nWo shirt."
Fan 1: "What? They're still cool."
Fan 2: "No they aren't. That angle got old in 99. Nobody cares about the nWo anymore."
Fan 1: "Some of us still do. You know why?"
Fan 2: "Why?"
Fan 1: "Because it's just................too............(falsetto).............SWEEEEEEEEEEET!"
Fan 2: "I can't believe you just said that. You're giving me crap about saying "tripping" but you just spouted off one of the most worn out catch phrases in recent memory and you're dead serious."
Fan 1: "Great wrestling angles never go out of style. You'll see. They'll be back."
Fan 2: "They've been back like fifteen times, and each time is worse than the last. The nWo isn't coming back."
Fan 1: "Sure they are. You know what Cornette said, right? Every angle has a seven year grace period before it becomes cool again."
Fan 2: "The angle, yes, but not the guys themselves. Do you know how old those guys are now? They're middle aged."
Fan 1: "So's Batista and he's doing pretty good."
Fan 2: "Sure, if you count botched Spinebusters as doing pretty good. I swear you're such a mark sometimes."
Fan 1: "I'm a mark? Why? Because I think Batista is a good champion? Or because I've never heard of some guy in Japan who does nothing but lariats and head drops? Sorry if I'm not as smarky as you are."
Fan 2: "Dude, everybody knows Batista sucks. Right now the Puro stuff is the best wrestling going today."
Fan 1: "So why is it we've never seen any of these guys on TV? How come the WWE hasn't picked up that one guy you like? What's his name? Kempa Koobahoo or something?"
Fan 2: "Kenta Kobashi. It's not that hard."
Fan 1: "Whatever. My point is if these guys are so great why aren't they signed to the E?"
Fan 2: "Because the E sucks! All they hire are roided out bull hunks who only do three moves."
Fan 1: "And the Puro guys don't? Let's see. Chop. Lariat. Head drop. That's three moves. What's the difference?"
Fan 2: "It's totally different."
Fan 1: "How? It's not different at all, except that maybe it's more boring."
Fan 2: "So you need fireworks and plastic divas to enjoy wrestling? Is that it?"
Fan 1: "It doesn't hurt."
Fan 2: "What does that have to do with wrestling? Once you get past the all the glitz and glamor what you're left with is a bunch of hosses who can't go five seconds without botching a basic move."
Fan 1: "If that's the case then why is the E the number one wrestling promotion in the world?"
Fan 2: "You think that has to do with the wrestling? By that logic then you could say Mind Of Mencia is comedy genius because it gets good ratings."
Fan 1: "Well, it is funny."
Fan 2: "If screaming racial slurs at the top of your lungs is funny."
Fan 1: "That's not all he does."
Fan 2: "Right. Every so often he rips off somebody else's jokes."
Fan 1: "Whatever. You just think everybody is just following the crowd because they all like something that's popular."
Fan 2: "That's exactly what's happening. People don't care about quality. They only want to be like everybody else. Why do you think Fall Out Boy is selling all those records? Because it's good music? Hardly! It's a fashion statement."
Fan 1: "You know, people like what they like. Leave it alone. It doesn't make you holier than though because you like some band nobody ever heard of on a label that isn't making any money."
Fan 2: "Oh shut up. You still listen to Third Eye Blind."
(Ummmmm.............ok. That got away from me. I really intended to write up the Ultimo Dragon vs Young Stallions match but this one joke went waaaaaaaaaay to far. I had too much coffee this morning and I'm kind of revved up. The match will be posted later without any lame "Young Stallions are so boring that people have conversations during their matches" jokes. Sorry.)
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Post by SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman on Mar 26, 2007 13:45:04 GMT -5
*Back from commercial, we are now in the EWT arena. "Otherworld" is playing.*
Finkel : Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the first contestant of this match, hailing from Strasbourg, France, wheighing in at 218 lbs... This... is... MYYYYSTH !!
*Mysth high fives the fans in his usual way and gets to the ring, where he spreads his arms and gets a good reaction.*
Finkel : And here comes his opponent. From Samoa, wheighing in at 326 lbs, please welcome... SIIIKAAAAAAAA !!
*Sika enters in the ring as the crowd cheers and looks at Mysth. Both men seem very focused.*
DING DING !
*The match starts ! The two athletes start turning around and Sika tries to punch Mysth, who dodges it and then tries for a Clothesline, dodged by Sika as well. Sika kicks Mysth now, who replies by punching Sika. They exchange blows for a moment until Mysth hits a Powerful Punch that sends Sika on the mat ! Mysth grbs Sika by the hair and gets him to his feet, he gets in position for a Swing Neckbreaker but gets stopped by Sika who elbows him, then gets behind Mysth' s back and performs a Back Suplex ! Sika gets to Mysth and goes for a Sleeper Hold, but Mysth grabs the ropes and the ref asks for a clean break. Both men are up and Sika runs at Mysth, but Mysth dodges the attack and pushes Sika to the ropes and hits a Dropkick ! Mysth gestyres to the crowd, then runs to the ropes, bounces and hits a Shining Wizard right in Sika' s face ! Sika is lying on the ground and Mysth jumps on a turnbuckle, he gets ready and goes for a Moonsault... but Sika rolls to the side and Mysth lands on his belly ! Sika grabs Mysth and headbutts him. Twice. Then, he pulls him to a turnbuckle and smashes Mysth' s head against it ! Mysth is down and Sika gets out of the ring in order to get a steel chair ! He makes his way back to the ring but hasn' time to notice Mysth bouncing on the top rope and hitting the Diving Clothesline ! Sika is hurt but Mysth as well due to this big fall, and Sika is the first one to get up, he grabs Mysth, places him on his shoulders for the Samoan Drop ! but Mysth slides out of the grapple and loads a punch, but they both realise they' re about to be counted-out and they quickly get back into the ring, Sika not forgetting to pick up the chair. The referee tells Sika he doesn' t have the right to bring it into the ring, but Sika threatens him and the ref lets him go. Sika is about to knock Mysth out with the chair, but Mysth kicks Sika in the guts, who drops the chair and Mysth hits a Fame Asser that throws Sika' s face on the chair ! Mysth covers !*
ONE...
TWO...
THREE !!
DING DING DING !!
Finkel : Here' s your winner... MYYYYSTH !!
* "Otherworld hits again" and Mysth rolls Sika out of the ring. Sika finally wakes up and leaves, pointing at Mysth. The ref leaves as well and Mysth lets out a "coward." Then Mysth picks up the chair which remained on the ring, sets it up and asks for a microphone. "Otherworld " fades out.*
{b]Mysth :[/b] Ladies and gentlemen, as you have noticed, lately, some poor no-life has been stalking me during the last weeks... you know, with time, I was kinda worried about those black spots and those water things, I even got a little bit scared...
I thought I was going to face an incredibly powerful and determined ennemy... I was wondering what kind of psycho I would have to wrestle AGAIN... but in the end, the truth got revealed... the man who believes he can put me down is... A FREAKIN PIRATE OF THE CARIBBEAN NERD ?? CAN YOU ONLY BELIVE THE S*** ?!!
I expected a worthy opponent ! Someone who would actually be fun to squash... but all I get is... this... and the fact is... this clown managed to make me suffer, to ruin my matches...
So Scurvy, before I get my hands on you... do yourself, and everyone who likes EWT a favor... just get lost as long as I' m compassionate... or you will... disappear... into the Mysth !
*At this moment, "You Are A Pirate" hits and Scurvy appears at the end of the ramp, holding a microphone. Mysth looks like his nerves are about to run loose...*
Scurvy : Aarrrrrrr !!
*Mysth just can' t take it anymore. He jumps out of the ring and runs after Scurvy. Both men disappear behind the toomitron and we cut to the next segment.*
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Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
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Post by Curly Long on Mar 26, 2007 15:16:03 GMT -5
We come back to EWT and find that next to Toomi's new Sesame street office location a 2nd office has sprung up next to it. Big Bird walks by and looks at the door sign, he then looks at the camera.
BIG BIRD: Hey Kids let's test out our spelling by pronouncing this work on this door.
Big Bird reads the door name
BIG BIRD: C ... U ... R ... L ... Y
Some children run up to Big Bird and join in the alphabet style game
BIG BIRD & CHILDREN: L ... O ... N ... G
BIG BIRD: Now then kids what does that spell?
The kids think for a moment, then one nerdy looking kid with glasses raises a hand
BIG BIRD: Yes Jimmy?
JIMMY: Is it Curly ... erm ... Long?
BIG BIRD: Why yes that is corr ....
The door suddenly bursts open sending the be-speckled kid flying across the street, the rest of the kids run away, some fireworks go off. As the smoke clears a women who looks rather familiar and is carrying a frog runs out of the office half dressed and screaming she is followed by ... Curly Long!!
CURLY LONG: Wait come back missy, I only wanted to show you my toad in the hole trick ... ah dammit. This was so much easier at Last years harlo ...
Curly Longs stops and looks up at the muppet known as Big Bird, taking in the 10ft tall feathered yellow creature
CURLY LONG: Who the bloody hell are you?
BIG BIRD: Oh me? I'm big Bird and I'm ...
CURLY LONG: Your not related to Crauswell are you?
BIG BIRD: What is a Crauswell?
CURLY LONG: Oh don't worry I'm sure he'll take a liking to you ...
Curly Long grins
CURLY LONG: Yeah he'll defiantly take a liking to you .. heh ..
From the left hand side Sum guy appears and brandishes a microphone
SUM GUY: Hello everyone I'm Sum Guy and I can't believe I'm at Sesame Place ... and standing next to Big Bird too ...
BIG BIRD: Hi there.
The pair wave at each other, Curly Long is unimpressed as muppet meets muppet.
SUM GUY: Now I spoke to him .. oh this is so .. exciting ... owwww!
Curly Long kicks Sum Guy in the leg
CURLY LONG: A-hem
SUM GUY: ... and the Midget King of EWT Curly Long ... hang on a minute I thought you were injured after that huge fall on March 4th?
CURLY LONG: Ah yes the fall, well Sum, when Ultimo threw me off that chamber he forgot one thing ...
SUM GUY: What's that?
CURLY LONG: I'm Curly Long the Midget King!
They pause for a minute
SUM GUY: ... and? ...
CURLY LONG: ok so I got lucky and only dislocated my shoulder and now I'm back better and badder then ever!
Sum Guy isn't so sure as he looks around the area of the interview, noticing the new office in Sesame Place. Big Bird meanwhile wanders off towards Oscar the Grouch's trash pile, he seems to be having a competition with Anita Bathe on who has the worst aroma.
SUM GUY: I can see that, how exactly did you manage to get your own office next to Toomis?
CURLY: Oh I know a couple of chaps who helped me out ... but Sum Guy look what I found in the move!
Curly Long reveals several title belts that are resting on a table behind him, he blows some dust off them. They begin to sparkle and do look vaguely familiar.
CURLY: It's the EWT Stable Titles!! ... you know me and Big used to share these with a group known as the Balance of Power ...
SUM GUY: Speaking of Big Curly, .. what do you think of his new partner ...
CURLY LONG (Cuts Sum Guy off as he isn't listening): You know what is also great Sum? ... Toomi has allowed me to host a tournament to crown new stable champions ... now of course there are only three belts .. so only 3 guys per team can compete but it should be a blast ... here's the sign up sheet that is going on my office door and those who want to enter just write you name under the dotted line!
Sum Guy looks skeptical
SUM GUY: Of all the people in the EWT, Toomi allowed you to host a tournament?
CURLY LONG: Sure .. afterall me and Toomi are the best of pals ... Don't forget a certain Scammy I won a while back .. heh ...
Sum goes to speak but Curly is fed up of the conversation and nabs the microphone and then boots Sum Guy off to the side, which unfortunately means he gets trampled underfoot by Snuffleupagus
SUM GUY: AiiiEEE OWW!!
CURLY LONG: Well that was random ... Anyway ... You Ungrateful masses out there are about to witness the greatest tournament that EWT has ever seen ... Yes that's right .. Curly Long Presents The Three Man Stable Trios Tournament!!! ... deadline is April 2nd! ... C'mon down and sign up ...
Curly Long's gleeful enthusiasm can not hide a clearly sinister plan that is forming on his face
CURLY LONG: it's going to be Huge! ....
We fade out on Curly Long's devilish grin
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Mar 26, 2007 15:47:02 GMT -5
(The Ultimo Dragon Three are walking down the hallway of the new digs, checking out the decor.)
UC: "Did anyone notice that there are a lot of counters around here?"
Tennille: "Of course, silly goose! That's where the puppets live!"
(UC and Dragon look over the side for puppets but don't see anything. They continue walking down the hallway when Tennille notices the sign up sheet outside Curly's office.)
Tennille: "Hey guys! Look at this! A volunteer program!"
(UC takes a closer look.)
UC: "Not quite. It appears that our midgety friend is hosting a Trios tournament. Funny, I thought that little dweeb was in traction."
Tennille: "A Trios tournament! How fun! You guys should enter! You'd be quite the hit!"
UC: "Yeah, that's true. But we got one problem. We're only two guys. Granted, we can take out any three slimmies by ourselves but knowing Curly Fries, and I like to think that I do, he'll say we're cheating by being a man down."
Tennille: "How is a two on three disadvantage cheating?"
UC: "From Curly's veiw point he's a man down by himself! Snap!"
Tennille: (in mock dissapointmen) "Now Ultimo. That's not nice!"
UC: "Neither was chucking him off the top of a cage into a table but I still did it! Now then, let's just go ahead and sign up now and worry about the third guy later."
(UC signs "Ultimo Dragon +1" on the sign up sheet.)
UC: "Done and done. Alright Daryl! Me and you and somebody else will be the next Stable Champs! Whattaya think?"
Dragon: "What's the difference between a hat and a pelican? You can fit more in the pelican!"
UC: "That's right!"
(Just then Barry Horowitz walks up to the three.)
Horowitz: "Uh guys? Did you know the Young Stallions are in the ring right now waiting to start your match?"
(UC, Daryl, and Tennille look at each other in surprise, then suddenly take off down the hallway as Horowitz watches the three speed off.)
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Post by SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman on Mar 26, 2007 16:02:00 GMT -5
*We see Mysth on the corridor, carrying the bag with his clothes, about to leave the arena after his match. Suddenly, his mobile phone rings.*
Mysth : Hello ?
*Some noises from the phone we can' t hear well.*
Mysth : Oh it' s you, honey ! What' s up ? *More noises* What ?? You at last got clearance to wrestle again ? That' s great ! I can' t wait to see you here ! The Girl Next Door division really needed a worthy wrestler... When will be your first match ? *even more noises* perfect ! Hey ! I thought we could work something out so that...
*Mysth leaves the arena, the camera stops filming him and we cut to commercials.*
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Post by teamireland on Mar 26, 2007 16:15:49 GMT -5
*An exterior shot of the Team Ireland locker room. Extremely loud shouting can be heard from inside, as well as the sound of glass shattering & lots of metal being punded on. Liam O'Neill is seen running up to the door. He opens it & ducks as a glass bottle narrowly misses him.* Liam: Coach, Coach... O'Hare: WHAT THE F*** DO YOU WANT?! Liam: Didn't you hear about Curly Long's announcement? He's organising a tournament, a trios tournament... If we enter we could have the chance to get some titles back in the Team Ireland camp... *O'Hare's expression changes from one of rage to one of smug glee.* O'Hare: Liam, you've just managed to redeem yourself a wee bit. Here, lad, take this pen go sign us up or get a hould of Curly Long or whatever the hell ya need to do & get us in this thing... NOW! *Liam takes the pen from O'Hare & eagerly races off to sign Team Ireland up for the tourney & win back the respect of his team-mates.* O'Hare: Okay, [adressing Aidan & Sean] you two may have f***ed up, but here's where you can get some points back. You two & big Shane... Sean: You're not entering Liam into this? But he told us about the whole thing... O'Hare: I SAID... you two & big Shane are entering this thing & you have to CRUSH every team that gets in your way! We are the greatest stable in all of EWT & it's about time that all these jokers learned YOU WILL NEVER BEAT THE IRISH!***Cut to next scene***
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,411
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Mar 26, 2007 16:30:45 GMT -5
***DUE TO A SCHEDULING CONFLICT, THE FOLLOWING PROMO WAS ACTUALLY SHOT 1 DAY BEFORE DEAD MAN WALKING. ENJOY***
Fade in on Mike Corral and Chad Michaels, preparing for the big match at DMW. Mike starts using the punching bag, throwing roundhouses and kicks. Chad can be seen lifitng weights, talking while pumping iron.
Chad: Hey Mike, you remember the guy I was going to face at March 4 to see if he was good enough to join?
Mike: Yeah, *CENSORED*. What about him?
Chad: Well, he says he's ready to prove himself.
Mike: What, another missed match?
Chad: F*** you, you already know I had indigestion and couldn't make it.
Mike: Then what's he gonna do?
Chad: Says he'll meet us at the PPV and discuss it.
Mike: He better prove himself. No one is just gonna waltz in without proving they have what it takes.
Chad: Don't worry, he knows what to do. So, how's Jessica?
Mike: Doing fine. She's already picked out a name for the baby: Michael Thomas Corral, Jr.
Chad: Naming the kid after you?
Mike: Yeah, it was her idea. Come on, I know a guy who can help us with our match.
The two finish up and walk out as we fade out.
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Mar 26, 2007 16:48:59 GMT -5
(Back in the ring the Young Stallions are sitting on the mat, bored out of their skull, as they have been sitting there for about an hour and a half waiting for their opponents. Breaking the silence is the urgent call of PsyToni Tennille.)
Tennille: "We're late! Go! Go! Hurry!"
(Suddenly "Love Will Keep Us Together" comes on at about 78rpms and in full sprint the Ultimo Dragon Three barrel down the ramp.)
Tennille: "Hurry! Hurry!"
The Fink: "And their opponents............Look out! Here they come!"
(The Fink gets the hell out of the way as UC and Daryl slide under the ring ropes and catch the Stallions totally off guard with double basement dropkicks. UC has Roma and Daryl has Powers and they simultaniously send the Stallions into the ropes and connect with stereo hurricanranas. Roma stumbles up to his feet only to get clotheslined over the top rope by UC, followed by a Cannonball Run to the outside.)
Tennille: "Hurry! Faster! We got to go!"
(Meanwhile Daryl takes Powers and places him on the top rope and executes a big time Dragonsteiner. Powers nurses his back as he stands up as Daryl picks him up and hits a Running Powerbomb.)
Tennille: "Faster! Hurry up! We're late!"
(Dragon picks Powers up and bodyslams him in the center of the ring as UC climbs up to the top rope and leaps off, connecting with a Knee Sault right in the rib cage. UC hooks the leg.)
1................... 2.................... 3!
The Fink: "Here are your winners........"
Tennille: "Hurry! We got to move! Let's go!"
The Fink: "Ummm..............Ultimo Dragon?"
(As quickly as they came all three exit the ring and run full blast back up the ramp and to the back. The entire match took about 45 seconds and now it's over. The Stallions look around dazed, wondering what the hell just happened as the stunned crowd wonders the same thing.)
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Indigocrates
Unicron
I got bored. Decided to become a philosopher. Just 'cause.
Posts: 2,953
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Post by Indigocrates on Mar 26, 2007 17:00:52 GMT -5
Bam Bam Bigelow’s ECW theme starts over the speakers and the crowd pops huge, and Bam Bam Bigelow comes out.
Penzer: “From Asbury Park, New Jersey, weighing in at 360 pounds, he is BAM BAM BIGELOW!”
Bam Bam enters the ring and awaits his opponent.
Hybrid Sitgmata by Dimmu Borgir plays over the speakers, and the audience’s reaction is now a HUGE contrast as Christopher Indigo comes out, Toolshed Title around his waist, and Ingsoc flag draped over him.
Penzer: “From Calgary, Canada, weighing in at 215 pounds, he is the EWT Toolsehd Champion, CHRITOPHER INDIGO!”
Indigo hands the ref the Toolshed Title and Ingsoc flag, and the bell rings.
DING DIGN DING
Indigo and Bam Bam star heading to the center of the ring to meet, but Bigelow in lightning-fast speed chrages towards Indigo and plows the Champ down to the canvas. Bigelow then leaps in the air and lands a splash on Indigo! Bigelow pins!
1!
2!
KICKOUT!
Bam Bam gets up and hits Indigo with another splash! Bigelow pins once more!
1!
2!
KICKOUT!
Bigelow attempts another splash and pin!
1!
2!
KICKOUT! 2.9!
Bigelow tries another splash and pin combination!
1!
2!
KICKOUT! 2.99!
Bigelow, realizing he’s going to need to up the ante, heads over to the turnbuckle and climbs to the top rope. He leaps off the top for a Wham-Bam-Thank You Ma'am! But Indigo moves out of the way just in time and Bigelow goes crashing and burning into the canvas. Both men are now down...
Once Indigo and Biglelow rise to their feet, Indigo takes Bigelow down with a Koppu Kick. Indigo slowly gets to his feet and stalks the downed Bigelow. Once Bigelow is up, Indigo charges towards Bigelow and attempts a Enzuigiri on Bam Bam, but Bam Bam blocks the attack and Indigo hits the canvas. Indigo springs to his feet, only to be met with an Enzuigiri from Bigelow! Indigo simply collapses in a heap on the canvas. Bigelow hooks the leg!
1!
2!
KICKOUT!
Bigelow simply gets up and shrugs. He runs towards and comes off of the ropes, attempting a running senton splash, but Indigo moves out of the way, and there’s no water in the poll when Bigelow hits the splash onto the canvas. Indigo suddenly rolls up Bigelow!
1!
2!
KICKOUT!
Indigo then stalks Bam Bam as he scrambles to his feet, and lands a Koppu Kick! Bigelow goes down, and Indigo moves to the corner to regain himself. Bigelow, however, rises to his feet, and charges towards Indigo for a running splash! Bigelow leaps in the air, and comes down, but Indigo moves out of the way at the last second, and hits the turnbuckle hard! Indigo rolls up Bigelow!
1!
2!
KICKOUT! 2.9!
Indigo rolls up Bigelow again!
1!
2!
KICKOUT!
Bam Bam breaks out of the pin and both men quickly rise to their feet. Bigelow runs at Indigo attempting a clothesline, but Indigo ducks and counters with a stiff kick to the head of Bigelow! Indigo once agian rolls up Bigelow!
1!
2!
KICKOUT! 2.9!
Both men quickly get to their feet once more and Bam Bam grbas Indigo for a delayed vertical suplex, but Indigo quickly wriggles out and lifts Bam Bam, and hits a Brainbuster! Indigo goes for the roll up!
1!
2!
3!
DING DING DING
Penzer: “Here is your winner, and still EWT Toolshed Champion, CHRISTOPHER INDIGO!”
Indigo is given his title and his hand is raised victoriously by the ref, while Bam Bam lies on the canvas, holding his head in pain with a look of shock on his face, as we cut to commercial.
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Post by Marcus Trunk on Mar 26, 2007 17:10:29 GMT -5
Back from commercial, the EWT Arena is sitting in wait for the next match. But when "Hair of the Dog" by Nazareth starts up, there is a mild stirring, then wild cheers as Marcus Trunk appears through the curtain! He spreads his arms and roars to the delight of the thousands in attendance. Trunk enters the ring and has a microphone in hand. He speaks with a deep bass, as one would expect a large black man to speak (with the exception of Lashley).
Trunk: Rick Raskall! You were always the mouthpiece of the team, but it's about time that MY voice was heard!
The crwod is pumped up for his upcoming promo.
Trunk: I always knew that you thought of yourself as the star of the team, and always hogged the spotlight. I heard the disdain in your voice and saw that look in your eye every time you praised my talent. It was only a matter of time before you turned your back on me and went out on your own. But to do it when we were SO CLOSE to being tag team champions? And after all that, you blame ME for our failures? Who took a Ganso Bomb on the steel floor in the Elimination Chamber? Who got a spike driven into his forehead? Who got a chair stomped onto his chest and damn near bled to death? They practically KILLED me in there! I gave all I had in that match, and yet you accuse me of being the weak link. Rick Raskall, I do my DAMNEST to be the best there is in this company, and the cheers and support of these fans runs through my blood!
Chant of "MAR-CUS TRUNK! MAR-CUS TRUNK!" starts up.
Trunk: Some of you may not know this, but I came from a tough upbringing. I grew up on the mean streets of Detroit, Michigan. I had to fight for everything I had. I got the s*** beat outta me more times than I care to remember. And when I couldn't take the ass-kicking any longer, I trained and worked hard, and built myself into the man you see today. But even then, as I trained and became stronger and tougher, I never forgot who I was. I was not a common street thug. I was a simple man, trying to survive through rough times. And during my youth, there was a man who helped me through those times. A man who helped me fight, who helped me grow strong, and who influenced me to become a wrestler, and I'd like to bring him out right now. His name is Terry Gerin. But you fans might know him best as...RHINO!!
"Gore" starts playing as Rhino appears through the curtain to a big pop. He raises his arms and the pyro goes off, then he rushes down the ramp and into the ring. He climbs to the top rope and yells "WHO'S THE MAN?". Trunk hands him the microphone.
Rhino: Marcus Trunk, I sure am glad as hell to see you!
The crowd pops big.
Rhino: Marcus, as you know, I've recently gone through a similar problem, involving friendship, betrayal, and blindside attacks! I'm talking, of course, about Christian! And seeing you get attacked by Raskall like that reminded me of how Christian turned on me! I just want you to know, Marcus, that you've got a friend in me. And Rick Raskall! If I ever see your ass lurking around here, you can prepare to get hit...with the GOOOORRREE!!! GOOOOORRRREE!!!! GOOOOOORRRRRREE!!!!!
Just then, "Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Can See" starts, as the crowd starts to boo the arrival of Rick Raskall. He is accompanied by his Plebians of Servitude and his servant girls, but of course, he's not riding his golden carriage.
Raskall: There you go again, Marcus. Making up for your weaknesses by surrounding yourself with "friends". Can't you get anything done by yourself?
Trunk: Well, I'm pretty sure I can. As a matter of fact, I seem to recall I took out your Plebes pretty easily last week. Which reminds me: What happened to your golden carriage?
Raskall: Um, there were some malfunctions...Shoddy craftsmanship. I had that guy fired. Rick Raskall doesn't ride in shoddy carriages.
Trunk: Are you sure? Maybe I can refresh your memory as to what really happened.
The ToomiTron plays a recap of last week, when Trunk managed to lift the carriage and toss it to the floor, destroying it.
Trunk: Who's helpless now?!
Raskall: I've grown bored. You bore me. Plebes, clear out my ring. I have important business to take care of.
The Plebes come down the ramp and surround the ring, as the servant girls feed Raskall grapes and wine as he looks on. Trunk and Rhino are standing back-to-back, trying to fend off the Plebes. One of the Plebes enters the ring, but is knocked down by Trunk. The other three Plebes enter the ring and jump on Trunk, but Rhino is there to pull them off. Rhino hits a belly-to-belly suplex on a Plebe, who tumbles out of the ring. Another Plebe comes running at Rhino, who hits the Plebe with a spinebuster. Trunk takes one of the Plebes and hoists him on his shoulders, then slams him down with Trunk Buster #2! The Plebe rolls out of the ring. Meanwhile, Rhino is crouching in the corner, waiting for a Gore! But the first Plebe manages to pull the third Plebe out of the ring, leaving only one Plebe in the ring. The Plebe gets to his feet, realizing that he is trapped. He tries to get away, but Trunk grabs him. Trunk whips the Plebe into the ropes, where he is met with the GORE!!
All the Plebes back away from the ring in pain, as Raskall looks on, rolling his eyes in disappointment. Trunk and Rhino stand tall in the ring as "Hair of the Dog" beings to play.
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Bedlam LadyD
Samurai Cop
Is a WSX Cupcake. BOOOOOOOM!!
Posts: 2,452
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Post by Bedlam LadyD on Mar 26, 2007 17:38:24 GMT -5
((posted a bit late, but it should still flow nicely))
Synthy's sitting closer to the action then her normal Kane-esque distance in the deep backstage. She's hijacked one of the monitors and studying a DVD of Dead Man Walking, specifically the Terina and Juri match. Her elegant fingers are folded carefully beneath her chin, and it's obvious to any who pass by that her look of concentration is solely studious. Well, except the three freaks who suddenly run past her at top speed. "We're late! Go! Go! Hurry!" She watches them whip past her at a pace that would make the Road Runner proud. She turns her eyes back tot the screen after a few seconds of utter confusion. Not too much longer, they go past her again. "Looks like someone's had waay too much Vault.." She thinks. The two female killers on the scene had just gone directly through a table, making Synthy cringe in sympathetic pain.Watching these two on the screen makes her realize she's finally found a Division worthy of her considerable talent and pride. Hell, both those women could probably kill her if they were to fight for too long. She almost smiles. But not quite. Reasons for this being a group of chicks that are talking at the water cooler behind her. Nun Chukku and Anne Phibian. They're discussing, rather, beotching, about some of the other women in the competition. "I just know that little whore is going to try to take my Dwayne away, she's obviously a little tart.." Nun Chukku responds in a manner that Synthy can't interpret. She could make out the words 'naughty, Joe, and' something something, 'Sideways.' What the fahell? Didn't they all just meet? The two continue to chat in a manner that infuriates Synthy. Her mindset is currently tense. She can't stand women that talk about others without truly knowing them first, simply behind their backs like cowards. That, coupled with the fact they were in the Harlot Hunt ((the most despicable type of competition)) made her turn toward them so quickly the metal chair she'd been sitting on toppled across the floor. "You pathetic pieces of plastic. You dare call yourselves women? You're both nothing more then blow-up dolls, looking for a quick score into fame!" She steps menacingly close. Her sunglasses are on and her teeth are bared. "I HATE these types of competitions, and how loosely that term can be used. I don't like it when people go for the quick, easy way." - As she takes another step toward them, Nun Chukku runs, trips over heels, and then scurries away with absolutely no dignity. "One left then. You! Frog-loving freak of nature. Frickin' what the hell? Aren't you a little old to be kissing frogs?" "He's not just a frog! He's my boyfriend, you hag! And I want the money more then fame anyway! So just..shoo!" Synthy's shoulders tighten up, and she pops her neck. "Money? MONEY? You have no place in a wrestling organization. If you want money, go be a porn star. Then again, I'm sure you need a personality to do that." "Ugly old freak!" "Excuse me? I'm twenty-one, younger then you by a year. Ugly is a relative term, and the more you run your mouth, the more I want to close it. Permanently." She whispers this last bit, staring at the air-headed brunette. "Butch. You probably only got into this fake ...thingy anyway so you could touch gir-" She's interrupted by Synthy. To be exact, a well-placed uppercut from Synthy's left hand. Phibian goes down, crumbling but managing to hold onto her frog-boy. "Wimp. That wasn't even my writing hand." She pulls the limp girl up, and throws her into a garbage can. To add insult to injury, she kicks the garbage can down the entrance ramp, with a final shout of "Let's see how long you want to stay here now!" Synthy goes back to her chair, picks it up, and continues watching the PPV on DVD.
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Post by Koda, Master Crunchyroller on Mar 26, 2007 20:51:01 GMT -5
Lillian Garcia and Andre the Giant are standing in the ring.
* "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns 'n Roses begins to play *
Lillian: And his opponent, from None of Your God Damn Business, accompanied to the ring by his Cabinet of Grover Taft, Rutherford Von Bruin, and Calvin McKinley, he is "The President" Koda Kazar!
"The President" strolls to the ring and holds his arms out, as his Cabinet lift him up onto the apron. Rutherford and Calvin hold open the ropes as he gets into the ring, and Grover takes his sunglasses off and places them in his crotch. The Cabinet get out of the ring as Koda and Andre stand face to face. Andre towering over Koda. The ref calls for the bell.
Koda goes to strike Andre with his right hand, but Andre catches his arm. Andre goes to strike Koda with his right hand, but Koda catches his arm. Andre then gives Koda a huge headbutt to his forehead. Koda goes tumbling back, as Andre irish whips him into a corner. Andre then charges at Koda and hits him with a splash in the corner.
As Koda stumbles out of the corner, Andre tosses him with one hand head over heels. Koda tries to charge Andre, but he simply bounces off of Andre. Koda looks at Andre, then chuckles. Andre slaps Koda with his right hand, this sends Koda spinning to the mat.
Andre picks Koda up and gives him a huge bearhug. Andre begins to squeeze the life out of Koda, but Koda quickly licks both of his fingers and shoves them into Andre's ears, giving him a dual wet willy. Andre begins to laugh uncontrollably and drops Koda. Koda takes this chance to bounce off the ropes and hit Andre with a flying forearm smash, but Andre doesn't budge.
Koda then hits Andre with a stiff uppercut, a jumping a forearm smash, a dropsault, and a spinning heel kick, but Andre does not budge at all. Andre goes to grab Koda, but Koda slides between his legs and pops up behind Andre. Koda dropkicks Andre in the back of his knee, and Andre faultered a little bit. Koda then gives Andre another dropkick to his knee, and Andre begins to lower a little.
Koda then bounces off the ropes and gives Andre a dropsault to the back of his knee, then follows up with another dropkick. Andre finally falls to one knee facing the ropes. Koda does a matrix run up the ropes and grabs Andre's head. Koda gives Andre a Matrix Tornado DDT. Koda rolls Andre over and goes for a pin.
One!
Two!
Kickout!
Andre heaves Koda off of him, but accidently throws Koda onto the ref, knocking the ref out. Then, on Koda's signal, Grover and the rest of his Cabinet come into the ring, and Grover hands Koda a steel chair. Koda goes to hit Andre with the chair, but Andre somehow dodges, and Koda ends up hitting Grover! Koda then tries again, but hits Calvin!, Koda tries yet again, but Andre dodges for a third time, and Koda hits Rutherford! All of Koda's Cabinet rolls out of the ring to recover.
Koda turns and hits Andre in the gut with the chair, and then Koda tries to hit Andre with the chair again, but Andre dodges again, and Koda hits the top turnbuckle, sending the chair back into his face. Koda stumbles around, as Andre grabs the chair and hits Koda on the head. The impact crushes the chair. Andre throws the chair out of the ring, as the ref comes to.
Andre lifts Koda up in a two handed choke. The ref begins to count for Andre to let go. Andre then throws Koda into the air, and on the way down, Andre hits Koda with a headbutt to the forehead. Andre goes to grab Koda again, but Koda knees Andre in the groin. Because of Andre's huge mass blocking the ref's view, the ref didn't see the low blow.
Koda then plants Andre with a DDT. Koda then goes up top. He taunts Andre and the crowd, but takes too long, as Andre gets to the middle turnbuckle and sets Koda up for a superplex. Koda kicks off the turnbuckle and floats over Andre. Koda grabs Andre for an Air Force One!
Koda uses Andre's position, weight, and gravity and physics itself to drive Andre's back into the mat. Koda then hooks his right foot on the middle turnbuckle and his left foot on the bottom rope as he leverages Andre into a backslide pin. The ref can't see Koda cheating thanks to Andre's size again. Koda goes for a pin.
One!
Two!
Three!
Lillian: Here is your winner, "The President" Koda Kazar!
Koda quickly rolls out from under Andre, as his Cabinet come into the ring. All of his Cabinet begin kicking Andre, and together, they roll Andre out of the ring with their feet. They all start celebrating together. Grover puts his hand into his pants and pulls out Koda's sunglasses from his crotch and hand them to Koda. Koda takes a big whiff of the glasses and put them on.
Koda and his Cabinet walk to the back where Koda has promised his men a party with blackjack, hookers, and beer.
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Ass Dan
King Koopa
Curious about extra lines
Have you seen me?
Posts: 12,259
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Post by Ass Dan on Mar 26, 2007 22:27:59 GMT -5
We appear by a park bench. Joe One is sitting down, resting his feet. Suddenly, from out of a Trash Can, pops Sum Guy's head. Naturaly, Joe is shocked and disgusted.
Guy: I'm Sum Guy, and I found a balloon in here! I'm here with Joe One, who may have done something illegal, depending on what state you're in. Joe, what....
One: I've told you three-hundred and two times, it's MR. ONE.
Guy: .....Mr. One, what do you have to say about your actions at Dead Man Walking?
One: I take full responcablity to my Belly-to-Belly Suplex and Top-Rope Elbow Drop to Mrs. Corral. I am fully aware of what I did, and I understand the consequences of my actions.
Guy: Well, that's fine and all, but....why?
There is a pause.
One: I'll tell you when I tell everyone else: as soon as I get in the ring. Good day.
Joe One stands up and walks...to another bench, farther away from Sum Guy.
Guy: I'm Sum Guy, and.....I think someone else is in here...
Suddenly, Oscar the Grouch pops his head out.
Oscar: Hey, you're in my house!
Guy: Oscar, you're a real grouch.
Oscar: B****, I LIVE IN A F***ING TRASH CAN! I'm the poorest motherf***er on Sesame Street!
Sum Guy quickly pops out of the trash can as we...
*DO SOMETING ELSE*
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Post by Hulkshi Tanahashi on Mar 26, 2007 23:04:27 GMT -5
*After the commercial break ends, we enter the EWT Arena with the ring covered in a giant tarp.* Sum Guy: Hi, I’m Sum Guy, and I am here at ringside. As you can see the entire ring is covered by a tarp. Why? Apparently, one of EWT’s newest wrestlers has a surprise for everyone. So, here is… “The Comedian” Bobby Riggs. *The Comedian's music plays.* www.youtube.com/watch?v=2a423fqOrpA*The Comedian comes out to the boos from the crowd. He calmly walks down the ramp to the ring with a smile on his face.* Comedian: Hello, Mr. McGee. How are you doing today? Did you find Lou Ferrigno!? Sum Guy: My name is Sum Guy, and I haven’t seen Lou Ferrigno ANYWHERE! Comedian: First off, I told you: I’m not calling you Sum Guy but rather Jack McGee because Sum Guy is a stupid name. Second, the Lou Ferrigno quip was a joke referencing “The Incredible Hulk” TV show, which starred Lou Ferrigno as the Hulk and had a reporter who tried to track down the Hulk, named Jack McGee. Now, are we going to continue to talk about 1970s television or are we going to get to why we’re here? Sum Guy: Okay, why are we here? And, what is up with the ring? Comedian: Well, my constantly berated friend, it seems that the brilliant mind running this fine company, i.e. Toomi Bischoff, has been enjoying what I have been doing since I debuted. Apparently, Toomi was so impressed with me and my antics, shenanigans, and what ever the hell you want to call them that he decided to give me my own interview segment. Sum Guy: NO! Comedian: YES! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I PRESENT TO YOU…BEFORE YOUR VERY EYES…THE LATEST INTERVIEW SEGMENT IN A LONG LINE OF WRESTLING INTERVIEW SEGMENTS…SUCH AS…PIPER’S PIT…CHRIS JERICHO’S HIGHLIGHT REEL…JAKE “THE SNAKE” ROBERT’S SNAKE PIT…BRUTUS “THE BARBER” BEEFCAKE’S BARBER SHOP… Sum Guy, annoyed by the long introduction: Will you get on with it? Comedian, yelling at Sum Guy: WILL SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!? IT’S MY SHOW, AND I WILL INTRODUCE IT HOWEVER I WANT TO!!!! *Sum Guy pulls out a handkerchief and wipes the spit from his face.* Comedian: Now, where was I before I was so rudely interrupted? Sum Guy: Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake’s Barber Shop. Comedian: Right. THE COMEDIAN’S COMEDY CLUB!!!! *The tarp is pulled up to reveal a set in the ring. There are four tables with two chairs to each of them. Each table has glasses filled with clear liquids or brown liquids. There is a small platform in front of the tables and chairs. On the platform is a mic stand with a microphone and two stools. The Comedian and Sum Guy enter the ring. Sum Guy looks around while the Comedian sits on a stool and takes the microphone from the mic stand with his left hand.* Sum Guy, stunned: Good lord! This is elaborate! How much did this cost? Comedian: I don’t know! I’m a comedian, not a banker! Sum Guy: Well, this place looks impressive. Comedian: Thank you. Sum Guy: So, who will be the first guest on the Comedian’s Comedy Club? Comedian: Well, I have decided to let some of the fans here in the arena be guests on the show. Sum Guy: Really!? Well, who will be the lucky ones to come up here? Comedian: You know what, Mr. McGee, I’ll let you decide. Sum Guy: Me!? Comedian, annoyed: Yes, YOU! Sum Guy: Okay. *Sum Guy goes to the outside. He points to a guy in the audience. Security helps him to come to the ring, and Sum Guy accompanies him as he enters the ring.* Comedian: Welcome. Have a seat. *The fan sits on the other stool next to the Comedian. Sum Guy sits down in one of the chairs.* Comedian: So, what is your name son? Fan: Truman Jackson. Comedian: Truman Jackson. So, Truman, how are you doing? Truman: Fine. Comedian: That’s good. So, I have to know: have you been watching me since I came to EWT? Truman: Yeah, I have. Comedian: Good. So, I take it that you have been conversing with the other fans here about me and what I’m all about. Truman: Yeah, I have talked to some people here about you. Comedian: Okay. I’m sure you have talk to your own friends about me as well. Truman: Yes, I have. Comedian: Hell, you probably have even written about me on the internet on some wrestling forum somewhere. Truman: As a matter of fact, I have. Comedian: Great. That’s wonderful. You see, I want to know what the people think about me. I want to if they think I’m a good wrestler and mainly what they think about my comedy act. I want some feedback on my comedic violence. But, I just didn’t want to ask anybody. I am a performer, and I like to do things on grand stage. So, I decided to have some regular Joe, or Truman as the case may by, to come on my show and tell me what the people think about. So, Truman, just what do the fans think about me? Truman: Do you want my honest opinion? Comedian: Yes, I do. I want you to be brutally honest. Tell me, Truman, what the fans think of me? Truman: Well, honestly, they don’t like. Comedian: WHAT THE f***!!!!? *The Comedian jumps up, knocking over his stool and the mic stand. He gets into Truman’s face, but Truman doesn’t flinch.* Comedian: THEY DON’T LIKE ME!!!!? Truman: No, they don’t. Comedian, to the audience: YOU PEOPLE DON’T LIKE ME!!!!? Audience: NO!!!! Truman: Didn’t you hear the boos? Comedian, annoyed: No, Truman, I didn’t hear the boos. Because, before I come out in front of an audience, I go into trance and psyche myself up. In this trance, I don’t hear a thing. And, if I heard the boos, then I wouldn’t be asking you what the people thought of me, DUMBASS. Anyway, just what is it about me that the people don’t like? Is it my wrestling skills? Truman: No, people think you’re a good wrestler. Comedian: It’s my promos, isn’t it? Truman: Well, you haven’t given many promos, and the few that you have were pretty good. Comedian: Then, what is it, TRUMAN? Truman: It’s your comedy act. Comedian: Come again. Truman: It’s your comedy act. People don’t get it. They don’t think it’s funny. In fact, they think it’s crazy. Comedian, staring a hole into Truman: What? Truman: They think it’s crazy. In fact, they think you’re crazy. Comedian, still staring: They think I’m crazy. Truman: Yeah, they do. Comedian: Do you think I’m crazy, Truman? Truman: Well, yeah. I think you are crazy. *The Comedian rubs his right hand over. Then, he hits Truman in the head with the microphone. Truman goes down. And, the Comedian keeps hitting him.* Comedian: DO YOU THINK I’M CRAZY NOW, TRUMAN!!!!? Sum Guy: OH MY GOD!!!! Comedian: DO YOU THINK I’M CRAZY NOW!!!!? Sum Guy, trying to pull the Comedian off of Truman: Oh my God, stop this!? *The Comedian jumps up and faces Sum Guy.” Comedian: DO YOU WANT SOME OF THIS!!!!? Sum Guy, scared shitless: No. *The Comedian grabs a stool and begins to hit Truman with it. Despite this, Truman tries to crawl out of the ring. The Comedian grabs his legs and pulls, but he ends up pulling one of Truman’s legs from his body. It turns out Truman is one-legged. The audience lets out a gasps. Sum Guy’s mouth drops to the floor. The Comedian is dumb-founded and can do nothing but stare at the leg. After a minute or so, he begins to speak again.* Comedian: You’re handicapped. You only have one leg. You…don’t…have…a LEG TO STAND ON!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *The Comedian hits Truman with his prosthetic leg. The crowd begins to boo. Some throw garbage.* Comedian: You are as useful as a ONE-LEGGED MAN IN ASS-KICKING CONTEST!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *The Comedian hits Truman with his leg, again. The boos get louder, and more trash is thrown.* Comedian: Hell, you are ONE-LEGGED MAN IN ASS-KICKING CONTEST!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *The Comedian hits Truman again and again. The boos reach a fever pitch, and there is garbage all of the ring.* Comedian: I wish you had been standing, Truman, so I could have done what Owen Hart did to his brother Bret. You know, KICKED YOUR LEG OUT OF YOUR LEG!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *The Comedian hits Truman with the leg one more time. Then, he throws the leg out into the audience. A portion of the crowd moves away, and the leg hits the floor. The boos deaden, and the ring now looks like a garbage dump. * Comedian: Well, that ends the first edition of the Comedian’s Comedy Club. And, even though you maybe booing me, I know that deep down on the inside you all are laughing you asses off. Or should I say, “laughing you legs off!”? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *The Comedian’s music plays again as he leaves the ring and the crowd boos and throws garbage. Sum Guy goes to the fallen fan as backstage agents and referees come to the ring to attend to Truman.*
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Mar 27, 2007 0:46:04 GMT -5
*As we come back from commercial "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan is standing in the ring holding his 2x4. He is getting a nice nostalgia pop from the crowd when Where's The Party AT hits & Spaz shows himself at the top of the ramp.*
Bobby Cruiz: And his opponent, from Sydney, Australia, weighing in at 216 lbs he is Spaz!
*Spaz climbs in & shakes Duggan's hand. The bell rings & the two men circle each other. Spaz grabs Duggan & whips him across the ring. Spaz then levels him with a dropkick. Duggan stands but Spaz grabs him & nails a Belly To Belly Overhead Suplex. Duggan is slow to stand & Spaz gives him no time to regroup as he comes in swinging with rights & lefts. Duggan swings back, Spaz ducks & grabs Duggan around the waist. He nails a German Suplex bridged.*
1 2 KICKOUT!
*Duggan gets his shoulder off the canvas but he is winded. Spaz jumps up quickly & climbs up the top rope. He waits for Duggan to stand & he plants him with a top rope Bulldog. Spaz then wastes no time in locking on a Sydney Cloverleaf! After a few seconds Duggan is forced to tap out!*
BC: Your winner by Submission Spaz!
*Where's The Party At hits & Spaz starts to celebrate but then Keep On Liftin hits. Spaz stops & turns to see Ratings appear at the top of the ramp mockingly applauding Spaz's victory. Spaz stares down Ratings & he doesn't see Spyke behind him! Spyke grabs Spaz & plants him with a SwedeDT! Spaz is down & looks out. Spyke stands triumphantly over Spaz as Ratings smiles.*
CUT TO COMMERCIAL
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Ratings
Dennis Stamp
Has a box of scraps
"YAY!"
Posts: 4,236
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Post by Ratings on Mar 27, 2007 10:14:08 GMT -5
EWT Arena - Backstage
Sum Guy is standing by with EWT microphone in his hands and grinning like an idiot as always.
SG: "Hi, I'm Sum Guy and I own 8 Nintendo Power Gloves. Joining me now is EWT Superstar, Ratings."
Ratings walks into frame and is booed by the fans watching via Toomitron.
Ratings: "Thanks for having me, Some Guy."
SG: "I'm sorry, the name is Sum Guy."
Ratings: "...That's what I said."
SG: "No you said it like "S-O-M-E" when it is "S-U-M".
Ratings: "Wait... what? What the hell are you talking about?"
SG: "...You know, I'm really not sure. I think we just broke the fourth wall."
Ratings: "Well, that isn't the only thing that is going to be broken."
SG: "Really? What else?"
Ratings: "Your jaw."
With that said, Ratings superkicks Sum in the said area of the face, knocking the fragile reporter out conscious.
Ratings: "Can I get a new microphone person? Marisol, make yourself useful!"
Marisol Kaneshall comes into frame with a microphone. She looks down at the motionless Sum.
Marisol: "Wow! Someone is passed out on the floor. Reminds me of my sorority days except it was a woman and I wasn't copping a feel..."
Marisol trails off when she notices the camera rolling, proceeding for her to go all professional.
Marisol: "This is Marisol Kaneshall; standing by with Ratings. Now Ratings, there was suppose to be a 10-man tag team match at last Sunday's Dead Man Walking. However, that match never took place. Any reason why?"
Ratings: "First and foremost, Marisol, I would like to congratulate "Cassinova" Cassidy Clearwater in becoming the *NEW* EWT Ox Division Champion. As for the pay-per-view match, it really came down to the fact that one participant's obligations--that of Cassinova's--caused a flaw in the booking process that of Extreme Wrestling Threaderation."
Marisol: "I see, so what you are say--"
Ratings: "OKAY, okay, you got me! I took the other members of my team out to Tokyo in my private jet and we spent the night drinking sake and watching Principle Pain lecture the Japanese about their school system."
Marisol: "So... you "no showed" Dead Man Walking?"
Ratings: (chuckles) "Marisol my sexually confused beauty, the way I see it there was already so much talent being presented at the show, our match would have taken the spotlight away from the likes of Mike Ragnal, TJT, the Wrestle Posse and the rest of EWT's finest and brightest superstars."
Marisol: "Really?"
Ratings: "No, I'm just making excuses off the top of my head. Anyways, I talked to Toom E. Dangerously and rest assure, plebian fans of EWT, for the match featuring my Team of wrestling's elite taking on Spaz's lowly band of talentless hacks will occur NEXT WEEK. However due to Cassinova's obligations of being the Ox Division Champion, I have no choice but to remove him from my team and find a suitable replacement; a replacement who will be revealed by match time. So Spaz, you and your fellow wrestling outcasts will fall and Team Ratings... will... rise."
Ratings walks off leaving Marisol looking down at the unconscious Sum.
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Post by xombiehiphop on Mar 27, 2007 10:41:37 GMT -5
-We cut to the backstage area where we find Random Interviewer standing with The Draugr, including the newest member. Ghost Face is sitting on a crate with his dreadlocks swayed in front of his face, passing a sharp knife back and forth between his hands. Wraith is positioned to the side of left, arms folded firmly across his chest. Karma is on the right, seemingly staring off into space, head tilted to the side..-
Random: I'm Random Interviewer and--
Corpse: ...Debt, which is certain to be paid, without question...
-Corpse is seen creeping in front of the camera, rambling to himself, as Random Interviewer turns and watches him cautiously-
Random: ..U-Uh..and I'm here with The Draugr..we've seen you three..t-torturing some poor girl..w-who turns out is Axel of The Wrestle Posse's sister. Y-You abducted her and now..
-Ghost Face cuts Random off by grabbing his wrist, head still lowered. He pushes himself to his feet and slides his hand onto the microphone, still not giving Random the slightest glance. Wraith approaches Random, placing a hand on his chest, shoving him away so the microphone is solely now within his grasp-
Wraith: Rrrr...
-Ghost Face raises the microphone to his mouth, speaking in a hissing whisper-
Ghost Face: ..You call us zombies..but we are the one's who are truly alive. ..You're dead..and you don't even know it yet. She was terrified of what was inside of her..
-He motions to Karma-
Ghost Face: ..But now she's free..but in order to become like her..you must first crawl like a worm..
-Tossing the microphone over his shoulder he shoves the knife into the crate he had sat upon moments ago. He steps forward, walking out of the camera's vision. Wraith follows along behind him, shoving his hands into his trench coat pockets. Karma stares at her palms in wonder for a few moments before letting out a shriek..following the others as a wild look forms in her eyes..-
Corpse: ..The burden of this curse which can never be averted..
-Corpse trails along after the rest, still speaking to himself the entire time.. --------------------- -We cut to the ring where we find The Islanders and Bobby Heenan already in the ring. Bobby Heenan is wearing an athletic jump suit but is doing his best to keep himself well hidden behind his Samoan charges-
JBL: And what the HELL is Bobby Heenan doing in this match?! He's a damn manager for god's sake!
Cole: Well, he does call himself "The Brain". Intelligence can give you an advantage in the ring.
JBL: That's true...but it doesn't if you don't have any physical prowess to back it up! But you wouldn't know about either of those things, would ya, ya little jackass?!
Suppose you were to die tonight. ..What would you say?
-The sounds of Alice In Chain's "We Die Young" begins to play as The Draugr members emerge amongst darkness and fog. All three look a little battered and beaten, still suffering effects from their match at Dead Man Walking. Aside from Karma, who makes a quick and frantic stride to the ring-
Cole: These men took part in one of the wildest matches we've seen in some time and that's very apparent when looking at them.
JBL: And Wraith wasn't even an official participant. ..Eh..what's the weird chick doing in the ring?
-As the bell rings and the lights come on, Karma is seen standing on the apron, gripping the ropes tightly. Ghost Face stands on the outside, Wraith in the ring with Haku, and Corpse beside Karma-
Cole: Apparently, she's going to be taking part in this match. I suppose that would make things a bit more even.
JBL: I wouldn't say that. She might dress like a Nightmare Before Christmas extra but she looks pretty damn fit to me.
-Wraith comes face to face with Haku, both men staring each other down. They begin to trade punches, which eventually breaks down into exchanging chops. With both men's chest's stinging, they get some distance from one another. Haku goes for a Clothesline but Wraith ducks and catches him with a Back Elbow on the rebound. He then boots Haku in the gut and takes him down with a Russian Leg Sweep. Corpse is tagged into the match.
Corpse climbs to the top turnbuckle, waits for Haku to rise to his feet, and then surprises him with a Diving Dropkick. Haku once again wobbles to his feet and Corpse uses his speed advantage to slide between his legs. When Haku spins around he is met with a Drop Sault that stumbles the wild Samoan. Corpse runs the ropes, looking to hit a Crossbody, but Haku catches him and slams him downwards with a Body Slam. Tama is tagged into the match.
Tama wrenches Corpse's arm and shows his flexibility by hitting him with a Savant Kick soon afterwards. Tama hauls Corpse up and whips him into a corner, charging towards him. But Corpse side steps, gets some distance, and nails Tama with a Diving Knee to the face. He then brings Tama out of the corner with a Bulldog. Wraith returns to the match with a tag. Wraith and Corpse complete a Double Team Maneuver on Tama, "The Whiplash", a Flatliner/Enzuguri combination. Seeing this, Haku rushes into the ring and takes down both Draugr members with a Clothesline. He tries to fight them off with punches, but they soon gain the advantage, tossing him to the outside. Tama rushes them, but he suffers the same fate, Back Dropped on top of his partner. Wraith and Corpse meet them outside and begin to brawl..Ghost Face soon joining the fray, swaying the momentum to his team's favor.
Bobby Heenan shouts at The Islanders to get into the ring but he is soon tossed roughly inside by Karma. Bobby tries to beg her off but only receives a boot to the gut for his troubles. She backs him into a corner, ripping off a portion of his jump suit, and lights up his chest with extremely stiff chops. She then proceeds to Powerbomb him right into the turnbuckle, his head bouncing off one of them. Karma gets away from the manager, crouching low to the ground, licking her lips in anticipation for him to get back to his feet. Once he does, his head is nearly removed by a super stiff Lariat, "The Bloody Mary", which looks to have knocked The Weasel slick out..-
JBL: Holy hell! What a Lariat! I think Bobby is OUT! Almost as good as my Clothesline From Hell!
Cole: The future Miss Layfield?
JBL: ...No...
-Karma slides down onto The Brain's stomach, placing her hands on his wrists and gets the 1..2..3. "Get Your Gunn" by Manson begins to play as Karma grins in an almost feral manner. On the outside, Tama has already fallen to the three on two assault, his partner soon to follow as Corpse and Ghost Face whip him towards Wraith who wipes him out with the steel rings steps which he had hoisted above his head. Meanwhile, back in the ring, a black liquid trickles down from Karma's mouth, covering Heenan's unconscious face. She crawls to a corner, wrapping her arms around herself, rocking back and forth. The rest of The Draugr watching on in approval..-
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