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Post by dorf on May 29, 2006 22:25:13 GMT -5
*Dorf is in Toomi Bischoff's office...well patient's office. Dorf scheduled in for a 2:00, but it is now 2:20*
Secretary Stacy: Toomi Bischoff can see you now, Dorf. Third door on the left.
*Dorf enters the office and goes right into the third door on the left. The first door...Goldust & Snitsky are licking the feet off of Melinda McToom, Toomi Bischoff's wife...Snitsky smiles in delight. The second room was empty. Dorf sits in the third room of what appears to be a bed.*
*to himself* Ya know, this looks like a hospital.
*All of a sudden, Toomi Bischoff appears.*
Bischoff: DORF! I see that you came on time...sorry about being late, but ya know how business is.
Dorf: Yeah, I understand. There is one thing that I am worried about and that is why I'm here...did you see me out there with the New Age Outlawz?
Bischoff: Yes.
Dorf: I have one, but very important question...after my outing with them, you booked me in the Main Event of EWTs latest Post Per View, Kingdom of Hurt *crowd cheers*...THE MEGADEATH!
Bischoff: Go on...
Dorf: Why would you do such a thing, since I am at a low point of my career?
Bischoff: Come on...you were upset at the time and in need of help. Since the Ragnals have departed, your rank here in EWT has come up, even with your loss...you showed up and did your job. I want you to be back where you once were, at the top and this match will show what you can do...noises or not.
Also, you have not won the EWT Tri-State title in your career yet...this your BEST chance to get it, Dorf. You have done it all since you've been here by creating the short fame EWT Stable title, you revolutionized the OX Title in the summer of 2005, which gave enough momentum to win the Royal Pain In The Ass Rumble 3. Sure, you lost to DSR at Crap-a-Mania 2, but how many EWT Superstars Main Event in Crap-a-Mania...*Dorf strokes chin with a smirk*? That's what I thought.
This Sunday, you will show us something that you have never done before...because I HAVE a great feeling in you, that you will do the job. If you excel, I will move you up. I know you have a lot of unfinished business to do with a bunch of people.
Dorf: Ya know, you're absolutely right. I've been so paranoid, that I don't really know what's going on and I've got to focus 'outside the box' to get right back up there. HOSS NINJA, this Sunday at Kingdom of Hurt...you WILL FEEL MY WRATH AND ELIMINATE YOU FOR GOOD! HBH...I KNOW WE'VE HAD A GREAT PAST, BUT THIS SUNDAY...IT ENDS AND I WILL BE EWTs NEXT GRAND SLAM CHAMPION. Who's the other competitor, Mr. Bischoff?
Bischoff: I believe it is the "Heartbreaker."
Dorf: Okay...thank you. HEARTBREAKER....I DON'T KNOW YOU AND YOU SEEM VERY NEW....I'VE GOT ONE THING TO SAY TO YOU....GET IN MY PATH AND YOU WILL BE IN...MY...WRATH! TO ALL OF YOU NOW...THIS SUNDAY, KINGDOM OF HURT....HOSS NINJA, HBH, AND HEARTBREAKER WILL GET....THEIR JUST....DO!
*leaves Toomi Bischoff's third office. Bischoff has a smirk on his face. Camera fades to black for commercial.*
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Post by Moxie loves Natalie on May 29, 2006 22:26:27 GMT -5
<The lights fade out as we enter back into the EWT Arena>
Joey Styles: Welcome back to EWT VelocityHeatImpactExtreme, I’m Joey Styles, replacing Jim Ross, and with me, as always is Carl Guerrero.
Carl Guerrero: We’re back with The Rock & Roll Express waiting in the ring for EWT’s very own, Prophecy Reborn.
<Smoke bellows out from underneath the Toomi-Tron, and music begins…>
<Depeche Mode’s “Never let me down again” fades into Marilyn Manson’s “Disposable Teens” as the team of HMark and Moxie walk out from underneath, they raise their hands in the air, with Moxie holding a Microphone>
<The crowd erupts, as Moxie nods and moves his hands to have them keep quiet>
Moxie: Settle down followers… settle down. Ideas come and go, championships come and go, but tonight the Prophecy remains. Kingdom of Hurt is only a few days away, and we aren’t going to be there. But neither is the… What are they called?
<Moxie hands the Mic to HMark>
HMark: The Cuddly Boyz? Cuddly Boy Academy?
<HMark hands it back>
Moxie: Yeah… the Cu… Cu… Cuddly Boyz!
<The crowd laughs>
<HMark grabs the mic for a second>
HMark: Oh mah… nah, to hell with it.
<Moxie chuckles>
Moxie: Handsome Boy Modeling School, I know you don’t have plans for Kingdom of Hurt. Neither do we. Think about it.
<Moxie drops the Microphone, and takes his T-Shirt off, as HMark disrobes. They both run to the ring, as the ref calls for the bell>
JS: Both men running into the ring, I’m getting word now that this match is officially a Texas Tornado match!
CG: That easily works in the favor of the Prophecy Reborn.
JS: Moxie and HMark charge in, and are met with forearms by Gibson and Morton!
CG: Remember Joey, Morton and Gibson are veterans, and have great experience.
JS: That may be true… Moxie and HMark are up to one knee, and reverse the punches, with a few rights and lefts of their own!
<Moxie and HMark assault Gibson and Morton with rights and lefts. They both whip them into the ropes, and methodically, drop them on their face with drop toe holds and then each lock in an STF>
JS: Morton and Gibson had an early lead, but are in trouble now!
<Moxie and HMark, in tandem, drop out of the STF, and assault morton and Gibson with kicks>
JS: Moxie and HMark with the boots to Morton and Gibson, HMark picking up Morton, and tossing him over the rope!
CG: Looks like HMark and Moxie are going to try and isolate Gibson!
<With Ricky Morton thrown out, Moxie and HMark begin to single-handedly decimate Robert Gibson>
JS: Moxie with a few punches to Gibson, Gibson waning around…
<Moxie moves around Gibson as HMark bounces off the ropes…>
JS: Total Elimination!
CG: The Prophecy Reborn with the Total Elimination!
<HMark lifts Gibson back up, and holds him in a bear hug. He sets him down…>
JS: looks like HMark is setting up Gibson for the Necronomicon!
<Moxie climbs the ropes… only to be pushed to the outside by Ricky Morton!>
JS: Oh my God! Morton pushed Moxie to the outside!
<HMark drops Gibson, but is met by a flying clothesline by Morton!>
<Morton lift HMark back up, and bounces him off the ropes, hitting a clothesline, followed by an elbow drop. Morton and Gibson pull HMark up, and meet him with a kick to the gut. They hit him with a double elbow, then a double elbow drop!>
JS: Looks like HMark is in trouble!
<Gibson goes for a pin attempt!>
1…2… Kickout!
<HMark kicks out in time, and Gibson pulls him up. Gibson hits a few elbows to the face, and tosses HMark against the ropes. Gibson attempts a clothesline, and it’s ducked, as HMark returns with a clothesline of his own! Morton jumps HMark afterwards, however, Moxie grabs the foot of Morton, and drags him to the outside. Moxie pulls Morton over towards the Announcer’s table…>
JS: Mox! Get him off the table! Get him away from here!
<Moxie lays Morton out on the Announcer’s Table. He climbs the turnbuckle, to the top rope. Gibson tries to block it, but HMark kicks him in the gut and hits the Dragon’s Wings!>
<Moxie jumps off the top turnbuckle to the outside!>
JS: OH MY GOD! Moxie hits the “Desperate Prayer” 450 Splash to… our table?!
CG: To Ricky Morton!
<Moxie and Morton are out, as HMark is in the ring, he locks in the sharpshooter…>
JS: Gibson is in the middle of the ring, he has nowhere to go!
CG: Taaaaap! Taaaaaaaaaap!!!
<Robert Gibson taps out to the Sharpshooter, as Moxie slides into the ring. The ref calls for the bell>
Announcer: Your winner, The Prophecy… Reborn!
CG: What are they doing?!
<HMark and Moxie celebrate for a minute… but look at Gibson, who is laid out in the center of the ring. Moxie looks at Gibson, then HMark. HMark nods, and with a devilish smile>
<HMark lifts Gibson up, and sets him in a full nelson. Moxie climbs to the top rope. Moxie jumps at Gibson…>
CG: Oh no…
JS: Carl… Moxie with a clothesline on Gibson, as HMark goes back with a release dragon suplex!
CG: They just killed Robert Gibson!
JS: OH MY GOD!
<Moxie and HMark get back up, dust their shoulders off, and devilishly grin. We fade out as HMark points to the camera, and slits his throat, as Moxie folds his arms and nods>
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Post by The Lach is very tired on May 30, 2006 7:20:16 GMT -5
*Personal Jesus hits & Generation Tech head to the ring. They are all dressed in Gen. Tech shirts & they high five the fans on the way to the ring. They get in & grab mics.*
G: There is a PPV coming up this weekend called Kingdom Of Hurt & we have a match against the PTA!
*Crowd boos at the mention of the PTA.*
L: Now seeing as Spaz beat Principal Pain last week we get to decide how we are going to do this thing on Sunday.
*Crowd Cheers.*
Spyke: Now we have thought long & hard about how we wanna beat the PTA & due to the Generation Tech policy we have come up with something that is fair for both teams. I will let the World Champion explain it for you.
Spaz: Thanks, Spyke. The match at Kingdom of Hurt will be a 4 on 4 Elimination Tag Match. So what I hear you say. But this is a match with a twist. It will be an "Old School Rules" match, this means no countouts & no disqualifications. The ring will also be filled with school related weapons, things like chalkboards, school desks, pencil sharpeners, school bags, those wooden globes you find in the classrooms, hell I might even bring a locker or two down from the locker room!
*The crowd cheers as Spaz's is getting very animated at the thought of destroying the PTA.*
L: That's not all though. There is one more twist in the tale. The losing team in the match will never be able to challenge for any title the winning team holds. This means that if we win no PTA member will ever be able to challenge for the EWT title as long as Spaz is champion!
G: And if Limey & I win the Tag titles the PTA will never be able to challenge us for the belts!
*The crowd cheers again.*
Spyke: This has it's dangers though, if the PTA & one of them somehow wins the title from Spaz we can't challenge to win it back.
Spaz: But that's not going to happen. I also have something to say to Maelstrom. I though we were friends, I don't know what your issue is but just know this. Don't stick you nose in where it's not welcome. If you do, you will feel The Shockwave!!
L: And life will give you Limes!
G: Respect, Loyalty, Ability
Spyke: Generation Tech!
*Cut To Promo for Kingdom of Hurt.*
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Post by Oceanic on May 30, 2006 11:08:08 GMT -5
The crowd stirs after the commercial, waiting for the action to start again. Howard Finkel enters the ring and announces the next match...
Fink: "The following contest is a Loser Leaves Town Match. Introducing first, from the City Of Angels, Sarah Sidall!
"What The World Means To You" hits as Sarah comes out from behind the curtain . She runs down to the ring and slides in, jumps on the second turnbuckles and raises both fists to the cheers of the crowd. She jumps off and begins to stretch out, awaiting her opponent.
Fink: "And her opponent, from Kaui Hawaii, Oceanic!"
The lights dim down and the shimmering green effect comes over the stage as "Maritime" plays over the PA. After a pregnant pause Oceanic calmly walks out from the back as the crowd pops for her. She makes her way down the aisle and slowly gets into the ring. She stands in the center of the ring and soaks it all in before running up to the turnbuckles and saluting the fans. The lights come back up and the bell rings for the match to begin.
Sarah and Oceanic meet in the center of the ring as the crowd chants "GND! GND!" They shake hands and then circle each other until locking up with one another. They struggle back and forth with nobody really coming out on top. They break and circle each other agian and lock up. Sarah and Oceanic once again go back and forth until Sarah backs Oceanic up against the buckles. Sarah breaks clean and Oceanic walks out from the corner. They lock up again and this time Oceanic gets the upperhand. She arm drags Sarah over and locks in an arm bar. Sarah gets right back up to a vertical base and sends Oceanic into the ropes. Sarah leap frogs over and hits the ropes herself. Sarah tries for a clothesline but Oceanic catches her arm and sends her back to the mat, locking the arm bar back in. Sarah struggles back up to her feet and knee lifts Oceanic in the stomach, breaking the hold. Sarah sends Oceanic into the ropes and goes for a back body drop. Oceanic flips all the way back over onto her feet and lands behind Sarah. She jumps up onto Sarah's shoulders and rolls her over, locking in another arm bar. Sarah struggles over to the ropes and Oceanic breaks the hold. Oceanic backs up and lets Sarah get ready.
The two lock up again and Oceanic sends Sarah into the ropes. Oceanic chops Sarah down to the mat and Sarah springs back up again. Oceanic goes for another chop but Sarah blocks it and punches Oceanic in the head. Sarah follows up with some more punches and dropkicks Oceanic down to the mat. Sarah waits for Oceanic to stand up and she clotheslines her down to the mat and follows with a jumping elbow drop. Sarah picks Oceanic up and puts her in a side head lock. Oceanic tries to back suplex Sarah over but Sarah flips over onto her feet and rolls Oceanic up.
1............... 2...............
Oceanic kicks out. Sarah sends Oceanic into the ropes and hits her with a spinning back elbow. Sarah hits Oceanic with a back breaker and climbs up to the top rope. Oceanic stands up and Sarah leaps off for a flying clothesline but Oceanic blasts her in the head with a drop kick. Sarah hits the deck and Oceanic is right there on top of her. Oceanic locks in a standing ankle lock on Sarah and she tries to struggle out of it. Sarah tries to kick Oceanic away but Oceanic just grabs her other leg and flips her onto her stomach. Oceanic puts Sarah into a Regal Stretch and ranks on her neck. The referee asks Sarah if she wants to quit but she says no. After a minute or so Sarah begins to unlock Oceanic's hands and tries to escape. Sarah manages to get her head free but Oceanic simply repositions herself so she is at Sarah's head, flips her onto her back, and locks in a Dragon Sleeper. For added effect Oceanic wraps her legs around Sarah's waist and squeezes. Sarah tries to shove Oceanic off but isn't having much luck. She reaches down and tries to force Oceanic's legs from off of her. Sarah finally gets Oceanic to loosen her grip from around her waist and kicks Oceanic in the head. Oceanic lets go and picks Sarah up. Oceanic goes for a power bomb but Sarah reverses into a hurricanrana and hooks the legs.
1........... 2............
Oceanic kicks out. Both stand up and Sarah kicks Oceanic in the stomach and hits her with an X Factor. Sarah uses the break to get her wind back as Oceanic lays on the mat. Sarah stands up and stomps on Oceanic a couple times. Sarah picks her up and sends her into the turnbuckles, then runs in with a shoulder first into Oceanic's stomach. Oceanic doubles over and Sarah picks her up in a powerbomb position, then throws her back first into the buckles. Sarah drags Oceanic out of the corner and goes for the win.
1........... 2...........
Oceanic kicks out. Sarah picks her up and nails her with a swinging neckbreaker. Sarah climbs up on the second buckle and comes down with an elbow drop across Oceanic's chest. Sarah puts Oceanic in a chin lock and wears her down. Sarah leans over as she applies the chin lock as Oceanic tries to get her breath. After a few minutes Oceanic manages to get herself up to her feet but Sarah knees her in the back and nails a reverse DDT. Sarah hooks the leg again and tries to send Oceanic packing.
1.......... 2..........
Oceanic kicks out again. Sarah waits for Oceanic to stand up and takes her down with a clothesline. Sarah picks Oceanic up and backs her into the buckles. Sarah chops her across the chest and sends her into the opposite side and charges in after her. Suddenly Oceanic catches herself on the buckles and appears to sling herself over Sarah but instead traps Sarah's head in her legs. Oceanic then lets go of the ropes and twists herself sending Sarah head first into the second turnbuckle. Sarah recoils and falls on her knees where Oceanic dropkicks her in the back of the head sending Sarah face first into the buckle again. Both women are on the mat as the referee begins the count. He gets up to seven when Sarah gets up. Oceanic rises soon after and Sarah charges in but Oceanic leaps up and takes her down with a leg lariat. Sarah stands up again holding her mouth and Oceanic unloads with a series of knees and elbows that sends Sarah backing up against the turnbuckles. Oceanic sends Sarah into the opposite side. Oceanic begins to charge but Sarah drops down and rolls out of the ring for a breather. Oceanic sees this and leaps off the second ropes and dives outside with a moonsault, taking Sarah down. Oceanic picks Sarah up and throws her back into the ring. Oceanic then gets up on the ring apron and leaps up onto the ropes with a springboard leg drop that connects. She goes for the win.
1......... 2...........
Sarah kicks out. Oceanic springs off the ropes with a Lionsault and follows with a double leg drop across the stomach. Oceanic scoops Sarah up and nails her with a sit down front suplex. Oceanic tries for the win again.
1......... 2.............
Sarah kicks out. Oceanic picks Sarah up and goes Riding The Grape Dragon. She get Sarah up into the Razor's Edge position but Sarah manages to reverse into a sunset flip.
1......... 2............
Oceanic rolls out of it and nails Sarah in the face with a front drop kick while Sarah's in the seated position. Both women stand up and Sarah goes for a punch but Oceanic blocks it. Oceanic kicks Sarah in the stomach and hits her with an ax kick to the back of the head.. She covers.
1........... 2.............
Sarah kicks out. Oceanic body slams Sarah where she wants her and climbs up to the top rope. She leaps off with the Superfly Splash but Sarah rolls out of the way. Oceanic crashes onto the mat and Sarah picks her up immediatly. Sarah nails Oceanic with the Dragon's Flame and covers.
1.............. 2................
Oceanic tries to kick out but her shoulders stay on the mat.
3!
Sarah jumps up with her arms in the air and The Fink announces her as the winner. Sarah jumps up onto the second turnbuckle and celebrates with the cheering crowd. Sarah leaps off the buckles and turns to see Oceanic leaning over in the corner with her head down in her arms. She goes over to Oceanic and pats her on the back, trying to console her. Oceanic and Sarah then exchange a quick hug for sportmans' ship sake. Oceanic raises Sarah's arm and then quickly leaves the ring, head down all the way. Sarah goes back to celebrating with the crowd as we go to commercial.
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Post by crauswell on May 30, 2006 11:40:27 GMT -5
Jake the Snake walks out to ring, getting a huge nostalgia pop. He's carrying one of the snakes in his trusty... snake bag or whatever.
Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, now residing in Pompano Beach, Florida, weighing in at 267 pounds... Jake " The Snake " Roberts!!!
Jake slaps hands with the fans as he walks...rolling inside the ring and pacing about a bit to get warmed up. The referee takes his little bag.
As soon as he does, the huge pyro goes off as Broken Wings starts up... and Crauswell makes his way out to quite a bit of heat.
Announcer: And the opponent... from Parts Unknown, weighing in at 272 pounds... Crauswell!!!
Crauswell heads down to the ring solemnly, climbing inside. He looks across at Roberts... remembering the last time these two faced off... and not looking too pleased to see him again.
The bell rings and Crauswell charges forward, wasting no time, barraging Roberts with vicious forearms, sending him reeling back into the corner of the nearby turnbuckle. He continues this blatant assault, nailing him with some stiff kicks to the chest area, eventually bringing Roberts down to the corner of the turnbuckle. He growls, backing up... and charges forward, SLAMMING a knee right into his skull! Roberts groans... as Crauswell drags him out of the corner, lifting him up and slamming him down with a Sambo Suplex to the mat. He then leaps up and nails a headbutt right to the heart of his opponent, rolling off as Roberts rolls around on the ground in pain.
The Furry gets back to his feet quickly, stalking his " prey " and circling him. Eventually he lifts him up, brings him down across the knee for a backbreaker... lifts him up... and follows with another one! He then lets him down on the ground as he locks in a Dragon Sleeper, wrenching the life out of Roberts who flails around in agony! Crauswell keeps the hold locked on with one hand... as with the other, he chops viciously at the throat of Roberts, keeping him weakened and helpless. Eventually... he breaks the submission himself, hitting a snapmare, only to follow up with more brutal kicks focusing on the spine area now... putting Roberts on his back. The crowd boos as Crauswell crosses his throat, ascending the turnbuckle and leaping off high, TAKING FLIGHT and connecting again with his skull into the spine area! Roberts cringes, rolling around on the mat, favoring his back. This massacre is far from over though.
Crauswell lifts Roberts up by the throat, into a powerbomb, charges towards the nearest turnbuckle and SLAMS him right into the damn thing! Roberts flops to the mat face down, as the furry stomps viciously at the spine area again, softening him up further. Roberts groans, trying to struggle back to his feet, successfully doing so with help from the ropes. But as he's facing his opponent, Crauswell drops down on both knees, delivering a lightning fast throat thrust! Jake stumbles back as Crauswell vaults over him onto the second turnbuckle... grabbing and hoisting Roberts up high with a Hangman's Sleeper!!! He swings Jake around like a human rag doll, hanging limply in his grip as the furry continues to dissect his opponent physically. He drops him to the mat... leaps off for a double stomp across the back, doing further damage, and reaches down, grabbing Roberts by the throat, nailing the Beak Buster. He immediately follows up, dropping to the ground, clinching on the Crossface Gryphon Wing... Jake tapping seconds later. And the bell rings.
Announcer: Here is your winner... Crauswell!!!
The crowd boos as Crauswell isn't done yet it seems... keeping the submission locked on and continuing to drain Roberts of his... well, his life. Eventually the bell rings as referees head down into the ring to try and get Crauswell break the submission. Eventually he does so... standing up and walking over to the announcer, ripping the microphone out of their hands and looking back at the Toomitron.
Crauswell: Chance... you want to challenge me at Kingdom of Hurt? You want to challenge me to a 2 out of 3 fall... FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE match? Well guess what... I accept!!! And I'm going to do FAR Worse things to you than what I just did to that washed up has been in the ring.
The crowd boos angrily.
Crauswell: When we meet in that ring, I will prove my superior Wrestling Skills... I will show you my far greater killer instincts... and I will show you... just how VICIOUS... a furry can be!!! Rest assured... at Kingdom of Hurt... YOU WILL BE DEVOURED!!!
Crauswell throws down the microphone, heading backstage once again as the crowd boos... Roberts barely able to stand back to his feet now as we fade to a commercial.
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Post by Poker Joker on May 30, 2006 12:00:38 GMT -5
(We come back from commercial with a match already in progress. The Rock N Roll Express are going head to head with The Rockers. All four men are in the center of the ring brawling away. But after a while it appears they're not really brawling at all. Turns out that they got their tassles tied up and can't get apart. They form a ball of human and neon and begin to roll over referee Timmy White when...........
Snow............
Static..............
The theme from "The Critic"..............
The picture comes back up to find Billy Ubermark and Ultimo Chocula sitting in their cushy chairs in a old theater. The music fades and on with the show."
Billy: "Hello once again to another edition of your favorite show, The Handsome Boy Modeling School Scouting Report."
UC: "Also known as, Second Place Is The First Loser! Either way you slice it we're still the greatest thing since GG Allin took a dump on Donny Osmond!"
Billy: "Here here! And wouldn't you know it, the reviews are in! That's right! Fresh off the presses are the reviews of our show straight from the horse's mouth! Just in case you didn't think we were legendary before, well, let's see what the critics have to say! Ultimo, whatta you got?"
UC: "I have today's issue of the DC Muckraker where TV critic Lawrence Tsabo says, and this is a quote people, "The Handsome Boy Modeling School Scouting Report is the hottest show in the nation. If you think the episode of 24 where Keifer Sutherland turned into a vampire was something, then buddy, you ain't seen nothin' yet!" Not a bad little peice of journalism, eh?"
Billy: "That's not all! It gets better! Alan Smithee of the LA Blabbermouth says "Billy and Ultimo are the breakout stars of 2006. They're commentary on the tag teams of the day is not only spot on but it's clever, insightful, and laugh out loud hysterical. If there's a more charismatic duo on TV now, then I'd like to see 'em!" Hear that? Charismatic! That's us!"
UC: "And here's one from Milo Bloom of the Bloom Picayune! "Leaving a trail of slime wherever they go........................"
(UC gets a surprised look on his face and looks harder at the paper then over to Billy, who's just as confused as UC is. UC then crumples the paper up and tosses it over his shoulder.)
UC: "Eh, who has the time to read all the glowing praise? This is only a half hour show! So onto bid-ness! Billy, who's on the hit list this week?"
Billy: "What? You don't know?"
UC: (feining confusion) "Why no, Billy! I haven't the foggiest!"
Billy: "It should ring a bell! We only kicked their collective asses from here to Toledo a few days ago!"
UC: (hits himself in the head) "Oh yeah! Now I remember! Silly me!"
Billy: "That's right, ladies and jerks! You're getting twice the bang for your buck! Normally we'd judge the collective two members of a tag team, but this week we're going to be giving you the story on four, that's right, four members of a team. You may know them as Generation Tech, but we refer to them as jobber fodder! Ultimo, what's the story with these losers?"
UC: "It's a very sad one, I'm sorry to say. Contrary to what eternal optimists will tell you, not everyone is destined for greatness. And not only do this week's subjects stink out loud, but they show that mediocrity knows no borders. On with the show!"
(UC points over to the side and makes a popping noise with his mouth as he swivels his chair around to face the screen where he shows those slides of his. He clicks on the first slide and it shows Dick Van Large Marge in his chimney sweep outfit from Mary Poppins.)
UC: "Here we have one of the founding members Jaime during his lean days prior to signing with the EWT. Born and raised in the land that gave us Monty Python, Motorhead, and Keira Knightly, you'd think that Jaime would be a pretty cool cat. Wrongo, King Kongo! Taking after the royal family Jaime lamed it up right from the beginning with his unamusing British antics, none of which could be understood with that blasted accent of his. Meanwhile, on the other side of the planet....."
(*click* the next slide shows a picture of Yahoo Serious)
UC: "He comes from the land down under, and immigration made a big blunder! For some unknown reason, Spud was allowed to enter the country from his native Australia where he had hoped to earn a part as one of the dancers in "Xanadu: The Musical" at the Olivia Newton John Theater in Branson Missouri. After being rejected for having big fat calves, Spud found himself at the EWT recruitment center, mistaking it for a casting agency. I guess some people are confused by the term "enhancement talent". That's two! The third member of our sad little part is................"
(*click* the next slide shows a picture of Bjorn Borg)
UC: "Spyt, the dancing Swede! Now normally I'd take it easy on a fellow Scandanavian, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to make an exception with this one! Spending his off hours writing Ace Of Base fan fiction, Spyt became an easy target for beatings. Let's not forget that he comes from the land of ice and snow......and BLACK *BEEP!*ING METAL! They don't put up with that sissy crap over there! Thrice daily he'd get pounded on! He's lucky they didn't skin him and use if for their album covers. Nevertheless, Spyt found out he could make a living doing what he did best, which was getting the snot kicked out of him. One EWT tryout and a sever lapse in judgement from talent scouts later and he was off and losing! Which brings us to the dead last, and least, member......"
(*click* the next slide shows a picture of Kris Kristopherson from the movie Convoy.)
UC: "Gus! Big, ugly, smelly, hairy, Gus. What an eye sore! As a truck driver delivering feminine hygeine products, Gus made the rounds of every gas station, truck stop, greasy spoon, and drunk tank in America. Living off of a diet of Corn Nuts, cigarettes, crank, and Jim Beam, Gus was living the ultimate red neck life style. That is until his truck exploded.....wait.....excuse me......until his truck "done blowed up" as Gus so eloquently puts it. With his dream dead, Gus decided to hit the mat and fail at that as well."
(*click* the next slide shows the Audio/Visual club of some long forgotten high school circa 1983.)
UC: "As the nights dragged on and the losses mounted, our four heroes would frequently gather and discuss just why they can't catch a break over a hearty meal of stale Hostess Ding Dongs and Squeez-E Cheez, appropriatly called Loser's Lunch. None of the winners like Billy and myself would dare associate with these rejects, so they would sit at the farthest table in the corner of the cafeteria. They were four jokes with no punchline. Things looked bleak. Then one day Jaime got the wild idea that instead of sucking individually, they would suck as a collective! That's using the ol' noggin! At that moment a partnership was born, and they dubbed themselves Generation Blech, which caused Spyt to get so excited he threw his silverware over his head while shouting "Bork! Bork! Bork!"
(*click* the next slide shows Gen Tech as they are today.)
UC: "Now as a unit, the only thing that has changed is that they now have a T-shirt that doesn't sell. It's sad really. You know Billy? They kind of remind me of my first ever opponent when I began my wrestling career years ago."
Billy: "Really? Who was that?"
UC: "He was a severly obese man with horrible hygeine who never won a match his whole career. He had bad breath, he was slimy, he drooled, he was so fat he could barely move. His promos were terrible, it was almost as if he was speaking some bizarre alien language. I beat him in under a minute as his wrestling skill was more than lousy. He was quite pitiful."
Billy: "That's some story. What was his name?"
UC: "Jobber The Hutt!"
(UC looks right into the camera and sports a huge fecal eating grin as a rimshot is heard. The production crew loudly boo from off camera and throw empty soup cans at him. We cut over to a shot of Billy who's holding up a clipboard to try and shield himself from the projectiles.)
Billy: "OK! I guess that means its time to take a look at what Generation Tech looks like in action. Well, that's good because I've got a special treat for everyone, today! I did a little searching, and I found footage of ALL FOUR Generation Tech members in the ring, together.... in a STEEL CAGE MATCH!!
(The camera pulls back to get Ultimo in the picture, as well. He's now looking over at Billy with an excitied look on his face.)
UC: "No way!"
Billy: "Uh-huh!"
UC: "You're joking!"
Billy: "Uh-uh!"
UC: "Is it good?"
(Billy looks over at Chocula. The two give one another knowing glances and then bust out laughing for a couple of seconds.)
Billy: "Are you kidding?! Roll that beautiful bean footage, and lets give the folks a look at Generation Tech."
(Chocula reaches over, grabs a remote controll, and hits play. The footage starts rolling imediately, and the people at home are treated to a clip of a group of monkeys in a cage at the local zoo. There are four monkey, altogether. One is sleeping up in a fake tree, another is eating a piece of fruit, and the other two are walking around the base of the cage. The footage itself is shakey, and sems to be a home video that was shot at the zoo by someone.)
Billy: "Here we are! Generation Tech! As you can see, the four of them have made their way down to the ring, and they're waiting patiently for their opponents in the match. Lets see.... the one eating lunch must be Limey.... um, the slacker up in the tree has to be Spaz.... I'm not sure which of the two on the ground is Gasoline and which one is Spyke... wait a minute.....
(One of the two monkes on the ground suddenly goes over and starts sniffing the other one's ass.)
Billy: "OK! There we go! That one there.... that's Spyke. And the other one must have farted, so that makes him Gasoline. Good! We've got that figured out. Now, lets go on to the next piece of footage."
(The footage cuts to a close-up of one of the monkeys in the cage drinking its own urine while it pees.)
Billy: "As you can see, the wait got to be a little long. Here we see Limey getting a drink before things start up. I wonder if anybody told him that's not Mountain Dew he's squirting out of himself. Oh well. He sure seem to be enjoying it. And, of course, this explains why he always gets that funny grin in the lockerroom when he walks past the urinals. Well, enough of the pre-match crap, lets take a look at the action, itself.
(The footage changes, again. This time, we see two of the monkeys in some kind of a fight. They're sitting on the ground, screaming at one another.)
Billy: "Well, this isn't exactly what I had in mind. This is a scene where Spyke and Spaz got mad at one another. I think Spyke had just botched a bodyslam for the 276th time, and Spaz was asking him if he learned how to wrestle by watching the movie "Backyard Dogs" over and over, again. If you think the argument is bad now, just wait to see what happens next."
(Eventually, one monkey takes a piece of its own feces and flings it at the other one.)
Billy: "You see! That's just not the way to handle arguments between teammates. But that's the way Generation Tech tends to do things. Well, I don't think we're going to get the glimps of Gen-Tech in action from this Steel Cage Match footage, like I thought we would. So, lets go to some other stuff I've got on tape. Here's some footage of Gasoline in a recent match."
(The clips cut to the infamous rape scene from the movie "Deliverance." We see the chubby fisherman as the is asaulted by a hilbilly in the middle of the woods. The hilbilly rips the man's clothes off while continually telling him to "squeal like a pig.")
Billy: "Well, there you see Gasoline, getting... well... you can see it. This match was really a mixed bag for old Gas-Guzzler. I hear he takes the same kind of treatment from Limey in the dressing room."
UC: "OW! Talk about taking one for the team!"
Billy: "No kidding. I guess someone's gotta be on the receiving end in that group, eh? The Greeks used to say that kind of behavior was a "bonding" between men, and would make them better soldiers. Obviously the same isn't true about tag-teams. As proof, here's a clip of Limey and Gasoline together in a handicap match.
(Footage from America's Funniest Videos rolls of a pair of kids in a zoo area with a kangaroo. One of the kids turns around to do something, and the kangaroo jumps up and kicks him in the butt, sending him sprawling to the ground. The other kid starts laughing, but then the kangaroo comes up and kicks him in the stomach sending him flying, as well.)
Billy: "So much for having the advantage, huh? Well, lets take a look at something else. It seems every team has to have their victory celebration, right? Well, here's Generation Tech doing their victory dance after one of the rare occations when they actually DID win!
(We go to home video footage of a group of little girls in ballet class. The three girls are doing their very basic moves, such as twirling around in their pink tu-tus on their tip toes.)
Billy: "And considering that this is their victory dance, perhaps its a good thing that they don't win more often. I should also note that the only reason they won this match was because their opponents, The Triple Threat, missed their flight and couldn't make it to the show in time. But wait! There's only THREE members of Generation Tech, there. I see Limey, and Gasoline, and Spyke.... well, where's Spaz.
(We suddenly go to another bit of footage of some guy training a dancing bear at a county fair. The bear is wearing a tu-tu, and as the guy taps it with a stick, it gets up on its hind legs and starts to act like its dancing.)
Billy: "Ah, there he is!"
UC: "Boy, he's sure got a lot of hair in this video."
Billy: "Yeah, he normally looks like that. I guess they have to shave him before every match. My guess is that he's related to A-Train, but less talented."
UC: "Unbelievable! THAT'S our World Champion?
Billy: "Well... he is for now, until someone like either one of us finally proves him to be the pile of donkey dung that he is, and takes that belt from him to give the E.W.T. a REAL World Champion.
UC: "How'd he ever get the belt in the first place?
Billy: "I'm not sure. But I think what happened is he came down to the ring, and the former champ collapsed into a fit of laughter when he saw Spaz standing there. Spaz then accidently tripped on his own two feet, fell on the champ, and VOILA!.... Your World CHUMP-ion!
UC: "Interesting theory. Mine was just that he went down on someone to get the belt."
Billy: "That's possible, too."
UC: "So, back to the subject at hand.... Would you say that these guys are as bad in the ring as the previous teams we've looked at?
Billy: "As bad, if not worse! Their ring work is terrible. Their technique is sloppy. And worst of all, their most offensive weapon in the ring is their body odor. They're down right pathetic.
UC: "Wow! So, after watching their footage, could you find ANYTHING beneficial about these guys?
Billy: "Actually, I did, and this is for any of our fans out there with bulemia! If you're tired of sticking your fingers down your throat to throw up, then do yourself a favor and pop in a tape filled with Generation Tech matches. You'll be hurling up stuff you ate from three days ago.... garunteed!
UC: "Well, that's cool for anybody with an eating disorder. Unfortunately the rest of us have to barf along with them. OK! Time for grades. Billy?
Billy: "No problem, partner. I gave these guys half-a-star. That's about an eighth of a star for each of them.
UC (suprised): "Boy, you're being generous, today! What put you in such a good mood?"
Billy: "My 'Best of Jenna Jameson' DVD collection came in, today! What can I say? I'm on cloud 9! So what did you give these bums?
UC: "Generation Blech gets a grade of a handful of Hungry Hungry Hippos marbles!"
(UC picks up several marbles and throws them really hard at the picture of the Tech behind him. Marbles ricochet and scatter all over the place.)
Billy: "Good deal! OK! Well, that's our show for today! Join us next week when we pick another pair of losers from the seemingly endless pile that E.W.T. throws at us. Until then this is Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark...."
UC: ".... And Ultimo Chocula reminding you that if you can't be the best, do the world a favor and go kill yourself. Later, Chumps!"
(The studio goes dark and the credits start to role)
CREDITS:
HOSTS: Ultimo Chocula & Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark
PRODUCERS: Ulitmo Chocula & Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark
EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Miss Moniqua & Fru-Fru
CATERING FOR HOSTS PROVIDED BY: A fancy resturant in Beverly Hills that you'll never be able to go to, because it costs $20 just to look at the menu.
ENTERTAINMENT FOR HOSTS PROVIDED BY: Watching tapes of the losers who actually think they can take their tag-team titles.
PROMOTIONAL CONSIDERATION PROVIDED BY THE FOLLOWING:
(Graphic fills the screen that reads "KRYM-TV 9 ACTION NEWS")
*ANNOUNCER*: Why is KRYM-TV 9's Action News the most accurate and timely news broadcast in the tri-state region? Simple! Because our reporters don't just cover the news....
(We cut to a shot of a reporter smashing a store's windows with a baseball bat.)
*ANNOUNCER*: .... they MAKE the news!
(The alarms go off as the glass shatters. As they do so, the reporter hides his bat, picks up a microphone, and starts reporting.)
*REPORTER*: This is Craig Hunter with Action News at "Finstien's Pawn Shop" which has just been hit by a senseless act of vandalism."
(Suddenly, we cut to another clip. This time, we see two guys wearing masks beating up an old man. Soon, the old man falls to the ground, and the two are taking turns kicking him as he pleads for mercy!)
*OLD MAN*: Ugh! No! HELP!
*ANNOUNCER*: Our news team's involvement in what we report helps us to give you the most accurate and in-depth coverage available.
(A quick kick to the head from one assailant knocks the old man out. He now lays limp on the ground. Immedately after making sure he's unconscoius, the masks come off the two individuals. One of them grabs a camera starts shooting as the other one pulls a microphone out of his pocket. )
*REPORTER*: A cruel act of torture took place in Fullstem Park, this evening as an elderly gentleman was assaulted and beaten unconscoius by two unknown attackers.
*ANNOUNCER*: Where ever news happens, you can bet that our team will be there to cover it, and may even be involved!
(We cut to a hostage situation. Four people are hunched up against a wall with their hands behind their heads, obviously being taken prisoner. In front of them is a woman reporter, who is pointing a gun at them as she reports the news.)
*REPORTER*: There is still no word from inside the Union National Bank, where a terrorist has taken four people hostage! The police say....
(A nearby phone suddenly starts ringing/)
*REPORTER*: ....Uh.... Just wait.
(The woman picks up the phone, and starts talking on it while she keeps on eye on the hostages.)
*REPORTER* (into phone): Yeah! ...... Yeah, this is me!...... I'm not ready to make my demands, yet, but we need food delivered!.... Send in a couple of pizzas, and no funny business! Otherwise someone's gonna get hurt!.... Once we get the food, I'll tell you what we want!
(The reporter hangs up the phone, and then turns to the camera to start reporting again.)
*REPORTER*: OK! This just in! Police have made contact with one of the terrorists! They have demanded food for themselves and the hostages, and say that they will give a list of demands out AFTER they have eaten! Also, they have threatened to use violence if police try anything.
(We cut to a shot of police arresting a reporter.)
ANNOUNCER: Its just one more thing that helps to make us the most accurate news crew in the tri-state region!
(The reporter is struggling to keeping reporting the story into his microphone as a policeman wrestles to force him into a squad car. Another nearby officer is reading the reporter his rights.)
*POLICEMAN*: You're under arrest for the murder of Jane Watson and the attempted robbery of the "Conneher's Gas Station," last night! You have the right to remain silent. If you give up that right.....
*REPORTER* (talking while he's being read his rights): Police have just apprehended the suspect in the attempted robbery, last night, that ended in the death of one of the store clerks.....
(The screen quickly goes back to the "KRYM TV-9 ACTION NEWS!" graphic.)
*ANNOUNCER*: For breaking news as it happens, and usually by the people causing it, turn to KRYM TV-9 and the ACTION NEWS team!
(The graphic goes away and we get the darkened stuido where Billy and Chocula just shot their show. They're now gone. The theme song from "The Critic" plays in the background, and after a couple seconds the screen fades to black.)
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Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
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Post by Curly Long on May 30, 2006 12:01:57 GMT -5
Backstage and Curly is in a bad mood, he is kicking over a trash can and is generally not happy. Mr. Big is having a coffee
CURLY: Those bastards, getting a cheap win over me in a singles match!! .. We'll show them Big, like you showed Twisted ... A Hardcore Tornado Tag Match! .. that's more our style! ... c'mon I have to deliver this ....
Curly holds up an envelope, it looks like someone has covered up whoever it was originally for and written Terri on it instead. Curly walks along the corridor and finds Terri by a make-up stand. Mr. Big continues to drink his coffee.
CURLY: Hey there puddin! ... You getting all dolled up for little old me?
Terri turns to Curly with an irrtiated look on her face
TERRI: Not in a million years, Curly .. What do you want?
CURLY: Toomi asked me to give this to you
TERRI: Oh thanks ...
Curly and Mr. Big walk on to there office
Mr. BIG: Didn't Toomi give that envelope to you? ... with your name on it?
CURLY: He sure did, it was for an interview segment at 'Kingdom of Hurt' with a mystery guest, but I have a feeling I don't want to be anywhere near the guest. If my hunch is correct .. c'mon Big, we need to order that Japanese Fighter pilot to help Twisted and American Saint achieve there dreams .. heh.
We fade out tot he next segment
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Post by HMARK Center on May 30, 2006 12:22:43 GMT -5
<Backstage, the PR stands in the lockerroom in street clothes>
HMark: I suppose you realize that we're about due for a HBMS profile on us?
Mox: <deadpan> I can hardly contain myself.
HMark: <scheming> It's obvious that we can't get these boys to put the gold on the line without pushing them to the brink.
Mox: Not exactly fighting champions, those two.
HMark: Clearly.
Mox: So...drastic measures?
HMark: <gives a slight nod, as if mildly considering the idea> ...Hm, yeah, 'drastic' sounds good. But not right away; still a few days before we get to Kingdom of Hurt, and jumping the gun never helped anybody.
Mox: <slightly annoyed> But it's so much fun! Ah, alright, fair enough. But soon.
HMark: Soon.
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Post by Teddy Awesome- Back in Style on May 30, 2006 14:54:56 GMT -5
Finkle: Ladies and Gentlemen, this contest is scheduled for ONE fall…
*”Bird Man” starts playing as Koko B. Ware comes out flapping his arms and dancing about the stage, runs down the ramp and up the ring steps. *
Finkle: From Union City, Tennessee, weighing in at 229 pounds, The Birdman, KOKO B. WARE!
*The crowd gives Koko a quick pop as he sets up for his opponent…*
Finkle: and his opponent…
*Alone starts playing as Theo Rumm runs out full tilt down the ramp. *
Finkle: From Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 221 pounds, THEO RUMM!
*Theo slides into the ring and whips himself up. He runs to the ropes, spins 180 degrees and jumps onto them, giving the crowd a photo opportunity. He jumps back down as the bell rings… *
Running shoulder block by Koko as Rumm is blindsided. Rumm is knocked through the ropes but catches himself with his leg, hooking it around the middle rope, preventing him from landing on his head. Koko attempts to drag him back but gets kicked by Theo’s free leg. Theo twists himself around and lets go of the rope, allowing him to roll out and land on the ground safely. Theo slides back into the ring and is met by a dropkick by Koko. Theo is knocked into the ropes again, but this time he bounces of them and is able to perform a flying elbow to the face of Koko. Theo runs to the other side of the ring and comes back for a running kick, but is caught by Koko, who lariats Rumm to ground for the pin…
1… 2…
Kickout by Theo as he rolls out and jumps up to his feet. He runs after Koko and nails him with a kitchen sink. He then runs to ropes adjacent and does a rolling leg drop onto Koko. Theo goes in for the pin.
1…
Kickout by Koko. Both men sprawl up and get into an arm and collar tie up. Koko wins the struggle and flatlines Theo. He peels Rumm of the ground and sets him up for the Ghostbuster… into the Suplex… wait… Theo’s struggling his way down… he’s done it! Theo Irish whips Koko into the corner so hard that Koko hits the turnbuckle and stumbles back. Theo runs around Koko, steps on the second turnbuckle, jumps onto the top rope and spins off into a crossbody splash. Pin!
1… 2… 3!
*Alone plays as Theo rolls out of the ring and runs backstage.*
Fink: Here is your winner… THEO RUMM!
*Cut to commercial
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Post by Banned Member on May 30, 2006 18:20:03 GMT -5
*Merc is in the locker room*
Merc: You see that Outlaw huh!! You see that!!! The PPV line up includes me!!! The Mercenary will raise, and kick Ra....
*Merc's voice changes*
OL: YOU!!! You can't even hold on to a women. Let alone win a match! I'm the one that will be wrestling that night! Not you!
*Outlaws voice changes*
Merc: That's what you think. You see I want a piece of Ratings as much as you do. I want to gut him like a pig, and make it so he will have to be carried out on a stretcher that night! You see James ol Pal. I signed that contract too. Only when you were not around messing up my head with foolish ideas! I am getting control of myself again, and once this is over I can be rid of you.
*Merc's voice changes*
OL: You sneaky son of a b****! No matter though I reckon there is enough Rating beating to be dealt by both of us, but just allow me to brand him, and hog tie him before you gut him like the pig he is. Now as for you getting control of yourself. It will never happen. Cause I am everything you wanted to be, and you have to hold on to me. Cause without me your nothing, and besides I know your one true weakness Merc ol pal, and all I got to do is say her name, and it sends you crawling to your mommy, and do know what that name is Merc! It's Trish Stratus the one you left, and she became all Lesbo, and it's all cause of you Merc!! It's all cause of you that she is in some hospital bed now! Cause if you wouldn't have left her she be safe, and sound in your arms, and I well... I wouldn't be here! So I really should be thanking you in the long run.
*Outlaws voice changes*
Merc: No!!!! stop make it stop!!!!! Just stop!!! Leave me alone, and get out of my head!!!!!
*Outlaw starts to laugh crazily as we fade to an break for the upcoming ppv.*
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Post by craigkendo on May 31, 2006 8:52:32 GMT -5
*Backstage. Craig Kendo is addressing the camera, a proud look on his face. Tony Chang, wearing his trademark "I'M HARDCORE" t-shirt, is standing beside him, grinning from ear to ear.*
Kendo: It has been awhile...but our time to pay those so-called "Knights" back is upon us. When you face oblivion in the form of the almighty table, Knights...let's just say you will have time to regret ever crossing and humiliating us...First....the one whom has the audacity to refer to himself as "Major". Let it be known that *I* am the only "major" force you need to concern yourself with. And this fact will remain as long as I remain in EWT, keep that in mind...but be aware that it will never save you from wrath...
Chang: And to Maxx Awesome...you might be awesome...but there's something that you're not...(Chang pulls his T-shirt for emphasis) I'M HARDCORE, Maxx...and no matter how "awesome" you can be...you'll never be awesome enough to be HARDCORE like me!
Kendo: My associate is correct, Knights. And I for one await our bout with great anticipation. Underestimate us at your own risk...
*We zoom out to see the Connection standing in front of a table. It appears to be dripping in gasoline.*
Kendo: ...for we are the only "Elite" faction in EWT, Knights...ans WE...are not afraid to go through HELL AND BACK!!!!!
*Chang tosses a Zippo lighter onto the table, and laughs as the table burns. Kendo keeps smiling as we zoom out. The Toomi-Tron suddenly flickers, and the segment ends as the crowd cheers moderately and begins a "WE WANT TABLES!" chant.*
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,391
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on May 31, 2006 10:37:04 GMT -5
We cut backstage to Chad Michaels' locker room, where Jessica and Bolt are there as well.
Bolt: You did it man! The main event for the Tri-State title.
Jessica: I'm so happy for you!
Chad: Yeah. I just got to go through three other men, including our champion, and the belt is mine.
Bolt: But, what is the Megadeath?
Chad: Hell if I know. But once I step in there, it'll be some Heartbreak for those guys, because I'm walking out champ.
Jessica: Who do you got again?
Chad: Let's see. Dorf: A former world champion, winner or the RPITR, OX Champ, blah blah blah. He may be a world's champ, but he'll go down after the Cliff Drop.
Hoss Ninja: His best move is a finger point. A lariat should knock him out.
Which brings us to HBH: A 2-time tag champ, and the current Tri-State Champ. Once it comes down to us two, we'll see who the better man is. Of course, I'll be walking out champ.
Bolt: Seems easy when you say it. Man, it's gonna be packed in Wimberly.
Chad: Where?
Bolt: Wimberly. That's where the PPV is being held.
Chad: The place where Bulldog beat Hitman at SummerSlam '92?
Jessica: The exact same place.
Chad: Awesome. *Looks at watch* Oh crap. We gotta match Bolt.
Bolt: We?
Chad: Yeah. You and I. C'mon man.
Bolt: Alright. Go on ahead, I gotta say something to Jessica.
Chad: Cool. Later.
Bolt: Later man.
Jessica: Bye Chad.
*As Chad leaves, Jessica turns to Bolt.
Jessica: Think he could really do it?
Bolt: It's possible. I've seen him do more than just talk smack.
Jessica: I hope you're right Bolt. Good luck in your match!
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,391
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on May 31, 2006 14:04:12 GMT -5
"Personal Jesus" by Marilyn Manson hits as Roderick Strong and Jack Evans come out to a huge pop. Evans slides under the ropes as Roderick hops into the ring.
Howard Finkel: The following contest is scheduled for one-fall. Alredy in the ring, representing Generation Next, the team of Roderick Strong and Jack Evans!
"Remember The Name" by Fort Minor hits as Chad Michaels and Bolt Bacana come out to a huge "Third Street Warriors" chant.
Fink: And their opponents, from Chicago, IL, and Miami, FL respectively, at a combined weight of 469 lbs., Bolt Bacana and Chad Michaels!
Michaels and Bolt slide into the ring and pose on the turnbuckle as the crowd kepps cheering. Bolt jumps off the turnbuckles and looks at Evans while Michaels looks at Strong. They both extend theeir hands and GenNext accept and shake. Both teams go to their seperate corners as Michaels and Evans start the match.
-----Ding Ding Ding-----
The match starts off with Michaels catching Evans off-guard with a spear. Michaels lands lefts and rights befo getting off. Evans gets back up and the two of them tie up. Evans grabs Michaels in a headlock and tries to apply pressure before Michaels backs him into the ropes and Bolt makes the blind tag. Evans doesn't realize this and gets pushed off by Michaels. Evans runs to the ropes and ducks under as Michaels leapfrogs over him and gets hit with a spinebuster from Bolt. Michaels and Bolt then hit a double lbow drop before Bolt jumps off Michaels' shoulders and hits a picture perfect moonsault.
Bolt takes control of the match now and hits a snap suplex on Evans, landing him on the lower back. Strong comes in a blindsides Bolt with a clothesline, which prompts Michaels to come in as well. Soon, all 4 men are fighting, with Strong and Michaels battling while Evans attacks Bolt. Michaels and Strong continue fighting until Michaels catches Strong with the Lariat From Heaven, knocking Strong to the floor.
Meanwhile, Bolt and Evans are both trading punches. Bolt ducks a punch and kicks Evans in the gut before hitting the Cataract, landing Evans right on the ropes! Bolt backs up a bit before running full force and does a rope flip to the outside, landing on GenNext. Michaels follows suit and does a springboard off the top rope, landing on GenNext and Bolt. All four men are down as the ref starts the count.
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3...
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Michaels gets to his feet and pulls Jack Evans up. Mchaels tosses him into the and rolls him into the ring for a cover.
1...
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Evans kicks out. Michaels picks up Evans and whips him to the ropes, landing an elbow smash. He picks him up again and hits a vertical suplex. He follows that up with a knee drop to the head. He then picks him up and bangs his head on the turnbuckle before stomping a mudhole in him. Next, Michaels pulls Evans out to the middle of the ring and traps him in a leg lock. Evans fights to reach the ropes and eventually does. Michaels breaks the hold and tags in Bolt.
Bolt hops in and delivers a legdrop on Evans' leg. He goes for the cover.
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Evans kicks out. Bolt goes over to pick up Evans and is met with an eye rake. Evans then tags in Strong, who immediately charges at Bolt. However, he is stopped with a drop toe hold. Bolt then drags Strong into the corner and starts chopping and kicking away. He attempts to whip Strong into the opposite corner, but Strong counters with a whip of his own. Bolt counters Strong's charge with a boot, then climbs to the second rope, where he hits a tornado DDT. Bolt goes for the cover.
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Strong kicks out. Bolt picks him up and lands some rights on him before whipping him to the ropes. He sets up for a back body drop, but gets a kick to the head for his troubles. Strong then connects with a clothesline. He picks up Bolt and bodyslams him. Then he gets in a knee drop before covering him.
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Bolt kicks out. Strong dropkicks delivers a dropkick to Bolt's head before tagging in Evans. Evans picks up Bolt and hits a back drop. He then picks him up again and hits a pumphandle slam. Evans then climbs the ropes and lhits the 630 Splash!! He goes for the cover.
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Michaels breaks it up. Evans gets pissed and picks Bolt up and does a snapmare. Then he gets in a chinlock with a knee planted in Bolt's back. Bolt tries to fight it, but appears to be fading. The ref lifts his arm up. It goes down twice. But then Bolt starts coming back to life and elbows his way out of it. He runs to the ropes. Evans attempts a hurricanrana, but Bolt counters it into a powerbomb pin.
1...
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Evans kicks out. Bolt runs to the ropes and attempts to hit a dropkick, but Evans rolls under and lands a strong clothesline on Bolt. He then tags in Strong. Strong picks up Bolt and hits a neckbreaker before delivering a backbreaker. He starts climbing the ropes and attempts a splash, but Bolt rolls out of the way. The ref starts the 10 count.
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Strong is back on his feet. Meanwhile, Bolt is crawling back to his corner to tag in Michaels. Michaels holds his hand out and is about to tag Bolt when Strong pulls him away. Strong picks up Bolt and is met with some stiff rights for his troubles. Bolt starts fighting back and kicks Strong in the gut before catching him with the Pele Kick. Evans runs in to blindside Bolt but gets hit with the Kryptonite Krunch for his troubles. Bolt gets back on track and whips Strong to the ropes and hits a back body drop. He then hits Evans with the Shining Enzuigiri before hitting Strong with one as well. Bolt goes for the cover...
1...
2...
Evans breaks up the count. Michaels has had enough and jumps in the ring. Evans turns around and gets hit with the Sweet Chin Music!! Michaels tosses Evans to the outside as Bolt starts to get up. Bolt dropkicks Strong into the corner and prepares to irish whip Michaels into him when Michaels reverses and Bolt hits a dropsault, knocking Strong down. Bolt then signals for something as Michaels agrees. Bolt goes after Strong when Michaels grabs Bolt and picks him up for a powerslam! Michaels grins as Bolt is in the air and runs towards Strong and hits The Dart! Bolt springs up as Strong starts to get up. Strong is barely up when Bolt kicks him in the gut and signals for the end. Strong is hoisted into the air as Michaels climbs the turnbuckle. Strong then gets clotheslined by Michaels as Bolt drops him in a piledriver!! Bolt goes for the pin as Michaels fends off Evans...
1...
2..
3...!
Fink: Here are your winners, Bolt Bacana and Chad Michaels!!
Michaels and Bolt celebrate in the ring as Evans checks on Strong. Strong gets up and is met by Bolt and Chad. Both men extend their arms to congratulate them on an amazing match. Evans and Strong accept as the crowd cheers even louder. Chad and Bolt celebrate in the ring as we go to a commercial.
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Post by Superior Dragon on May 31, 2006 16:09:21 GMT -5
We cut back to the Suicidal Idolz locker room, where Saint is stretching out and Twizted is relaxing
Saint: Kingdoom of Hurt, huh?
Twiz: Yup, in Wembly Stadium.
Saint: Summerslam '92?
Twiz: Yeah. Bulldog vs. Bret in the main event.
Saint: And now, 14 years later, they'll see something phenomenal.
Twiz: Because we're gonna beat Curly Long and Mr. Big in that Hardcore Tornado Tag Whatever match.
Saint: Yup. And then there's the Megadeath.
Twiz: The F***'s that?
Saint: Hell if I know. But it's the main event.
Twiz: Oh, okay then. Cool.
Saint: Yeah. Hey listen, wanna go see X-Men 3 with me and Sarah?
Twiz: Sure. Still can't believe that Jean comes back to life though. Shouldn't she be dead?
Saint: It's Hollywood. They could probably make Abraham Lincoln alive if they wanted to.
Twiz: Gotta point there. C'mon, I don't wanna wait in those bulls*** lines.
Saint: Cool. Lemme find Sarah and we're gone.
Saint finishes up stretching and goes to look for Sarah as we fade out.
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Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
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Post by Curly Long on Jun 1, 2006 15:50:38 GMT -5
(meanwhile in the ring)
The setup is all too familiar for the EWT crowd, they know that 4 pillars, a coulpe of high stools, a table and two buxom brunettes means only one thing
'Moving on Up' begins to play over the speakers, the crowd boos
that's right it's Curly's colossal Coliseum time. Out comes Mr. Big along with the host of the show Curly Long. they head to the ring under a sea of hate. curly grabs a mike as he enters the ring. Mr. Big meanwhile takes a glass of wine from the prettier of the two girls
CURLY: Welcome to Curly is EWT!! ... and boy is this going to give you fools something to do tonight. Wait a second you people never have anything to do .. haaheehe ...
The crowd starts up a 'VLB' chant
CURLY: Unlike myself and Big, we have a match to prepare for ... well I say prepare it's not like those Suicde twits are going to bother us ...
the corwd ups the tone with a 'Vile Little Bastard' chant, to the surprise of Curly
CURLY: ... and all this time I though you were too dumb to know what it means ...
More booing from the arena
CURLY: enough ... I don't have to listen to you pathetic individuals anymore than those two runts i'll be facing at Kingdom of Hurt ... but I do guartee they will feel pain that sunday night ... ohh Yes! ...
Curly grabs a grape and flicks it into his mouth
CURLY: This week's guest is proof that ANYBODY can get a job in the EWT... and that's not always a good thing. Please welcome ... The Champion of Critters, The master of the monkeys ... Crauswell!!!
The crowd boos immediately as Broken Wings starts up, Crauswell heads down to the ring solemnly, wearing what he always wears. He climbs into the ring, looking at all the lovely women, prancing around with fruit, wine, and such. Mr. Big looks down at the furry, who looks back up... glaring through the mask eyeholes ... as he walks over and looks down at Long.
CURLY: Well hello again there Bird Brain, it's been awhile hasn't it? I'd have thought you'd be too embarrassed after that loss the Midget King and Company dealt to you and the Gooker.
Crauswell doesn't really acknowledge Long's insults.
CRAUSWELL: Mr. Long... I can understand why you once saw me as a weak person. I can understand why you once saw me as a pathetic loser... but after being dealt a devastating loss, I realized that I had become too forgiving. Too weak. Too... helpless. That's why I underwent my transformation... and became a more vicious wrestler than I had ever been. I was TIRED of being so pathetic. And now that I've become more... predator-like, I've never felt so dominating in the ring.
CURLY: Ok then ... Predator like you say ... well there's a difference between being dominating like a lion and being an out-right loony like a ... erm .. Big know any loony animals?
Mr. BIG: ... Lemmings, boss
CURLY: Yeah there kinda crazy ... anyway let's see some clips of Bird Boy in lion-like action recently.
The Curly-tron 45.0 lights up, as it shows clips of him destroying people like Koko B Ware, his recent attack on Jake the Snake Roberts, him demolishing Chance after their tag team match... and also beating him in the singles match. The Curly-tron 45.0 shuts off.
CURLY: Good grief!! ... some one call animal control ... I may get bitten, you don't have some sort of animal disease do you .. ya know like rabies?
Crauswell growls. The crowd starts a 'Bite him!' chant
CRAUSWELL: DAMN IT!... I don't have rabies!
Curly grins as Mr. Big has another glass of wine
CURLY: Whatever... ya could've fooled me Eagle Eyes. So anyway, let's see... how did this whole spat between you and Chance start anyway?
Crauswell paces around Curly pondering this question
CRAUSWELL: Well it was after Freek Show ...
CURLY: Hey I remember that PPV ... Me and Big won the Tag team titles!!
CRAUSWELL: Damm you this is my story!! not yours!! ...I was returning from Disney World, with many wonderful wonderful souveneirs, when he bumps into me... and starts INSULTING me!!!
CURLY Wait... you're saying this whole thing stemmed from him making fun of your lifestyle? Is that it?!
CRAUSWELLl: You don't understand... Confidence is a self obsessed arrogant over-rated prick and I think that it's my duty to finally shut him up once and for all! So he's a former Tri-State Champion... big deal! He held the belts for two weeks if I recall correctly. And he only won it after a sneak attack on the champion...
Curly nods in agreement as Crauswell continues
CURLY: That's for sure ...
CRAUSWELL: Exactly. Why do these people cheer for him anyway? They don't cheer for anyone else as arrogant as he is!
CURLY: Oh sure they do ... they cheer for me ... right fans?
The crowd automatically heckles and boos Curlu almost out the building
CURLY: Ok well maybe they don't .. but it's got to be at least 50:50 with Chance ...
The furry one sighs.
CRAUSWELL: That's not the point. The point is that at Kingdom of Hurt, I am going to beat Confidence within an inch of his life! And afterwards when the match is over, I'll beat him two inches further!!!
The crowd boos, but Crauswell doesn't even acknowledge them doing so.
CRAUSWELL: Because simply put... Chance Confidence... you will be DEVOU...
With that, one of the women smashes a wine bottle right over the skull of Crauswell, sending him down to both knees! the crowd looks shocked, whilst Curly Long looks absolutely confused.
CURLY: Hey lady... what the hell was that for?! That was some damn expensive wine there ... a vintage 1987 I think. Hope you plan on paying me back! .. dont get too upset though, we can sort it out back in my office .. if you know what I mean ...
Curly gives a grin and a wink
The women looks as Long, reaching into her Toga and pulling out some balloons, throwing them out and ripping off the same Toga, revealing Chance Confidence!!! He takes off the wig and throws it in Curly's face. Curly looks absolutely steamed as Chance smirks and simply points behind Long. Curly looks behind himself, to find the Suicidol Idolz springboarding off the ropes with a double missile dropkick, sending Long and Big down to the ground and rolling out of the ring! The Idolz quickly chase after them, all four men going right through the crowd. Chance meanwhile takes a bowl of fruit and then SMASHES the whole thing into pieces right over Crauswell's skull... bringing him down, now sitting on the mat, clutching his skull. Chance sits bounces off the ropes and hits a rolling neck snap, planting Crauswell on the mat, then fluidly continuing to run forwards, climbing atop one of the PILLARS and leaping off with a Confidence Booster, connecting and driving the air right out of Crauswell, who rolls around in pain!!!
The crowd begins a 'Holy S***!' chant at the unprecedented athletic ability of running up a stone pillar!
Chance gets back to his feet, clutching his slightly sore ribs and lifting Crauswell to his feet again, launching him forwards with an overhead belly to belly, causing him to crash right into the STONE PILLAR!!!! The crowd pops as Chance watches the furry laying nearly motionless. He snatches up a microphone and looks right down at the gryphon's face.
CHANCE: Hey Crauswell... devour that!
Chance tosses down the microphone, vaulting out of the ring and walking back up with a victorious smirk. In the stands Curly and Big can still be seen brawling with the Suicide Idolz. Back in the ring and Crauswell has managed to get to his feet somehow, looking absolutely pissed, leaning over the ropes, and yelling obscenities at his opponent for Kingdom of Hurt.
(fade out to video promo for Gneration Tech)
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Post by Banned Member on Jun 1, 2006 17:01:51 GMT -5
*King of King's hits, and as the pyro goes off Merc steps out to a warm reception from the fans. Merc enters the ring, and grabs the mic from the ring announcer.* Merc: At last I'm free of Outlaw!! Free of that evil vindictive son of a b***!!!! You see last night while I was at the bar I bumped into well who else, but Trish!! * The fans cheer loudly at the mention of this.* Merc: So we got to talking, and well she forgave me for being the worlds biggest asshole. So folks I like to welcome back Trish Stratus!! *Trish's music hits, and as she steps out the boos start falling down by the fans. As it is not Trish at all, but Mickie James dressed as Trish. Mickie bounces down to the ring, and Merc holds opens the ropes for her. As Mickie enters the ring. Merc grabs her, and kisses her. As Merc is about to speak again the fans start to chant thats not Trish. Mickie looks around stunned, and yells back "Yes I am".* Merc: So Ratings come the PPV you will be broken in half, and not by the Outlaw, but by me the Me....... * All of a sudden the tron starts up, and standing in a hospital next to a doctor is Ratings, and the fans start to boo loudly at this sight.* Ratings: Well Merc I see you, and Mickie have hooked up. Merc: What do you mean? This is Trish. Ratings: Merc are you still drunk from last night? Merc: When am I sober is what you should be asking. Ratings: Well take a real good look at that woman next to you. Cause we can all clearly see that is Mickie James, and not Trish. For you see Trish is still in this very hospital, and with me is Dr.Whomore, and he will put this in simple terms for all you dumb asses out there. Doctor if you please. DW: Yes to put it flat out Trish will be in this hospital for at least a month or more. Ratings: Thank you. Well Merc what do you say now? *Merc looks at Mickie, and than grabs her.* Merc: WHO PUT YOU UP TO THIS!!! MJ: Ratings he paid me a hefty sum to mess with your mind more than it is. *Merc lets go of Mickie, and slowly backs away.* Merc: Get out of the ring now!!! MJ: I'm sor.... Merc: Now before I do something I will regret. *Mickie gets out of the ring, and runs to the back.* Ratings: Awwwww Merc has gone soft. The old Merc would've destroyed her. Merc: Yes that I would've, but I'm saving all this anger for you Ratings. You Thi.... *Merc's voice changes* OL: Shut up you worthless s***! I the Outlaw will be the one that will unleash my anger on Ratings!! Ratings: Oh joy! It's screwball number two! Tell ya what we will see which one of is the real man come Sunday!!! Chow for now suckers!!! *The tron goes black, and Outlaw/Merc is still in the ring* Outlaw: See Merc your such a loser you don't even know the girl of your dreams from a fake! *Outlaw's voice changes* Merc: DAMN YOU!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!! *Merc runs head first into a turnbuckle, and keeps bashing his head into it. Finally several road agents, and refs come down to bring Merc to the back. All the while Merc is screaming for Outlaw to leave him alone.*
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Post by jester on Jun 1, 2006 18:02:42 GMT -5
^v^The cameras cut from commerical break as the EWT arena goes red and the stage explodes in fire. Kane walks out onto stage and continues down to the ring as his theme plays.^v^
Lilian Garcia: This match is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring weighing in at 326 pounds....KANE!
^v^Kane continues his path to the ring, and reaches the end of the ramp. Kane pulls himself up to the apron via the top rope and steps over the top rope. Kane awaits his opponent inside the ring, adjusting his elbow pads and glove. The lights turn off before flashing blue, pink, purple, yellow, and green. "Paper Tiger" by Dry Kill Logic blares on as Jester makes his way on stage, his wifebeater glowing in the dark. Jester wastes no time by rushing to the ring and ducking Kane's clothesline. Jester slides right back out the other side and, still running, grabs a mic. Jester looks up at Kane, from in front of the announcer tables.^v^
Jester: Hey Kane! Kane! Does this still bother you? You know...MAY 19TH! Does that-
^v^Kane turns red in the face showing just by facial expressions that it indeed does still infuriate him. He slides out of the ring after Jester as Jester beings to run around the ring. Jester slides in and runs straight to the other side as Kane starts to get up on the apron. Jester baseball slides Kane back into the barricade. As Kane stumbles back towards the apron, Jester takes him out with a picture-perfect corkscrew body press. Jester crawls away from Kane and gets to his feet. Jester climbs the barricade and begins to run the length of it towards Kane and goes for a crossbody on the rising Big Red Machine, but Kane easily catches him. Kane tosses him onto his shoulder in a spinebuster posisition, then slams Jester back first off the steel ring post. Jester rolls away clutching his back.^v^
^v^Kane follows and picks up Jester, throat thrusting him against the announcer table. Kane slams Jester's head off the announcer table, and Jester manages to stumble over and slide back into the ring. Kane slides in too, breaking the refs count at 9. Kane stalks over and grabs Jester up by the hair. Kane gets in Jester's face, yelling that he said don't say May 19th. Jester responds by locking Kane's head, jumping, and nailing a sit-out Jawbreaker with authority. Kane doesn't fall, so Jester quickly takes him down with a double leg take down, and yells to the crowd. Jester scores with a double leg-drop to the groin of Kane, taking control of the match once more. Jester stumbles back and falls, leaning on the ropes. Suddenly, Kane sits up! Jester gets a look of shock on his face, and runs past Kane. Kane turns around in enough time to see Jester spins towards him in the air, executing the Whisper in The Wind. Kane sidesteps Jester, and Jester's body jolts with the impact.^v^
^v^Jester crawls to his feet as Kane throws his hand up, calling for the Chokeslam. Jester turns around and Kane chokeslams him all the way to hell. Suddenly, the lights go red and the familiar mask of Kane appears on the titantron. Whispers fill the arena saying "This is only the beginning." Jester slides out of the ring during this. Suddenly the old masked Kane slides into the ring from underneath it and stands behind Kane menacingly. Kane turns around unable to believe it. The old Kane scoops Kane up suddenly and delivers a tombstone piledriver! The Old-School Kane summons the pyros from the four turnbuckles, in typical fashion. He then walks to the back adjusting his glove, and the lights return to normal.^v^
^v^Suddenly Jester crawls back onto the apron! He yells to pump up the crowd and climbs the turnbuckle, facing Kane. Jester leaps off and connects with the Swanton Bomb! Jester rolls over onto Kane as the shocked referee snaps out of it long enough to make the count. Referee: 1!
2!
3!
^v^"Paper Tiger" blares back on as Jester stumbles to his feet in another EWT victory.^v^
Lilian Garcia: Ladies and Gentlemen here is your winner......The Original DareDevil....JESTER COLT JACKAL!!!
"Paper Tiger" blares through the arena. Jester staggers up as Kane rolls from the ring, not even trying to sit up. Jester staggers over and grabs a mic as his theme cuts off.
Jester: Look, I don't know what the hell just happened with the uh...two Kane's, but I won. Me. I beat Kane of all people. And thats just a little taste of what is gonna change in ETW. I'm gonna start kicking some ass around here! And I'm gonna start with a championship, Be it the World Title, the Tri-State Title...Or the vacant...Toolshed Title...
^v^Jester looks like he has an idea as his speech slows down to a halt. Jester finally snaps out of his thoughts to continue.^v^
Jester: Either way, I WILL make some more impacts, and I WILL start kicking some ass around here.
^v^"Paper Tiger" blares back on as Jester drops the mic and rolls from the ring, walking backstage.^v^
(-|3 Fade to another commerical break. (-|3
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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on Jun 1, 2006 18:49:35 GMT -5
*We cut back to ringside. “Sexy Guy” starts playing, and HBH and Cherry walk out to thunderous boos. They pose for a bit in the ring before HBH grabs a mic*
HBH: Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time once again for THE HEARTBREAK HOTEL!
*Pyro goes off*
HBH: You know, it was around this time a year ago that The Heartbreak Hotel made its debut here in EWT. And during that time, there’s been some changes. For instance, I was a tag team champion with a man who I carried to some of the best matches of his career.
*crowd boos as they know who he’s talking about*
HBH: After elevating the status of a certain 7-foot stump and a Latina chick, I traded them for a slice of that good ol’ cherry pie. *looks at Cherry, who is beaming* And perhaps the most important change of all, I have not only become the Tri-State Champion, but I am the greatest Tri-State Champion in EWT history!
*crowd boos loudly*
HBH: But one thing that has remained constant throughout the past year is that The Heartbreak Hotel remains THE most popular show in all of sports-entertainment. It’s the main event of shows, if you will. Speaking of main events, in case you’ve been living in a hole, you already know by now that yours truly, the Heartbreak Hitman Bret Michaels, will be competing in the main event of a PPV in Britain called Kingdom of Hurt. Thanks to our “generous” owner and general manager, I will be defending this title with honor in a Megadeth match against three individuals, who just so happen to be my guests for The Hotel. So please welcome first, a former EWT Heavyweight Champion, DORF!
*“Tearjerker” plays, and Dorf walks out to the ring to mainly boos*
HBH: Ladies and gentlemen, what you see in this ring now is an example of a waste of potential. I mean, look at you. You had all the tools to actually be something here in EWT. Winning the Royal Pain in the Ass Rumble, being in the main event at Crap-a-mania 2, and ultimately winning the EWT title. You had it all right there in the palm of your hand. So what did you do? Bit by bit, you let it all slip away. You had chance after chance to redeem yourself, but you didn’t take ‘em. It’s now gotten to the point where you’ve become paranoid about some Hoss Ninja and you’re hearing voices in your head. You had a chance to be somebody and you blew it. Face it Dorf, you’re a FAILURE!
*Dorf is starting to get angry. Meanwhile the crowd is still booing*
HBH: Don’t boo. Deep down you all know that it’s true. And for you to even be in this match at the PPV is based purely on luck.
*Now furious, Dorf grabs a mic*
Dorf: Bret, I think I speak for everyone in this arena when I say KNOW YER SOUL AND SHUT YER TRAP!
*The crowd cheers this as he has shut HBH up*
Dorf: Now I’ll admit, I’ve had a rough few months since winning the EWT title. I won’t deny that. But I’ll be turning all of that around. And it starts this Sunday, when I take your Tri-State title in the Megadeth.
HBH: *laughing* You’re kidding, right? You actually think you’re going to take this title away from me? What makes you think you have a chance? You can’t even go 10 minutes without going bats*** crazy!
Dorf: OK, so I’m a little paranoid. That’s another thing I’m working on conquering. But I’ll tell you something, Bret. Come this Sunday, you’re going to wish that I’m paranoid when I walk out the NEW Tri-State Champion. I’ll be a Grand Slam Champion, while you and Hoss Ninja get your...JUST...DO!
*There’s a mixed reaction from the crowd there until “Remember The Name” starts up, and Chad Michaels walks out. He gets a big pop from fans as he enters the ring*
Chad: Excuse me for interrupting, but I couldn’t help overhearing. Dorf, you say that you’re going to be walking out of the Megadeth as the new Tri-State Champion? I say you’re sorely mistaken.
HBH: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You think you can just waltz out here on MY show and interrupt MY interview? Who in the blue hell do you think you are?
*Crowd boos*
Chad: Oh, silly me, where are my manners? Allow me to introduce myself. I am the “Heartbreaker” Chad Michaels. You know, the REAL Heartbreaker as well as the NEXT Tri-State Champion.
*Crowd cheers*
HBH: Oh, so you’re the guy who’s been biting my style. Let me tell you something, chum. If you think for one second that you’re taking this title away from me- heck, if both of you think you’re taking this title away from me, you’re in for a world of disappointment. Nobody, not you, *points at Heartbreaker* not you, *points at Dorf* or that Hoss Ninja person will be walking out with this baby. And if I have to lay some Sweet Chin Muzak on each and every one of you to get it through your thick skulls, then so be it.
Chad: Heh, we’ll see about that. You know, Bret, I’ve noticed that you tend to talk a big game. You walk around here like you own the place. You act all arrogant as if your s*** doesn’t stink. You’ve developed this ego as if you’re some kind of important person around here. And while you have backed up what you’ve said in the ring, this time it won’t work. You’ve talked yourself into a hole, Bret. One that you can’t get out of.
Dorf: This Sunday, it’ll be time to put up or shut up. And no matter who wins, one thing will be certain: we will finally shut you up!
*The crowd cheers loudly. Chants of “BREAK THE HITMAN!” start up. Then all of a sudden Hoss Ninja walks out to a mixed reaction. Dorf is starting to show signs of nervousness, but keeps his composure*
HBH: Well, look who’s here! It’s the final participant in the Megadeth, Hoss Ninja! *looks at Dorf, who has now started shaking in his boots* What's the matter there, Dorf? Acting all paranoid again? The PPV's not until Sunday, you know.
Dorf: I hear noises... from YOU! *looks at Hoss Ninja*
HBH: Yeah, whatever. *turns back to Hoss Ninja* So big guy, what do you have to say about all that’s happened so far?
*HBH holds the mic up to Hoss Ninja’s mouth, but Hoss Ninja doesn’t say anything*
HBH: Anything?
*HBH again holds up the mic, but Hoss doesn’t say anything*
HBH: Do you even speak?
*Hoss still says nothing*
Chad: Maybe not, but if he did, he’d probably say that you’re a jackass!
*Fans cheer loudly*
HBH: You think you’re funny, don’t you? No, he’d probably say something along the lines of “You’re a wannabe.”
*Fans start booing loudly*
HBH: Yeah, that’s right. And that’s all you’ll ever be: a wannabe.
Chad: Better that than an egomaniac like you who has a two-bit hooker for a valet.
*Fans pop for this and start chanting “SHE’S A HO!” Cherry is livid and is about to slap Chad, but Chad grabs her arm. Then HBH attacks him from behind. Cherry breaks free and quickly gets out of the ring. Dorf enters the brawl and the three men exchange blows with each other. Hoss Ninja then decides to enter the fray, going after Chad while Dorf and HBH duke it out. After a while, security comes down to break it up. Toom E Dangerously then appears on the stage*
TED: All right, break it up! I will NOT have this happening days before my main event, dammit! From this point on, there will be no contact between ANY of you 4 men until the match happens at the PPV. Got that?
*Toom E then heads backstage. Meanwhile security has the 4 men in separate corners. Then all of a sudden Dorf starts yelling*
Dorf: LET GO OF ME! LET ME GO!
*Dorf is able to break free from the security officers and disappears through the crowd. Hoss Ninja tries to go after him, but security keeps a stranglehold on him*
*Cut to a commercial advertising Kingdom of Hurt on PPV*
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Post by teamireland on Jun 2, 2006 18:08:47 GMT -5
* We hear Amhrán na bhFiann playing as footage airs on the ToomiTron
This time the footage is of the members of Team Ireland sitting in a pub. Coach O'Hare walks into the shot carrying 3 pints of Guinness, while team captain, Aidan Donnelly, walks behind him carrying an additional two pints* O'Hare: Alright lads, drink up. Slainte. * Donelly adresses the camera* Donnelly: Dia Duit, to all you EWT fans out there. We know you're all getting excited about our impending arrival. But don't worry, myself, Coach O'Hare, Sean, Liam & Shane will be there soon enough, probably sooner than you think. Right now we're just taking some time to relax before we get to EWT. And with a few pints in us, haha, we're in a damn good mood for a fight. Team Ireland!Coming Soon!
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Post by pta on Jun 3, 2006 11:38:53 GMT -5
Principal stands before the entire P.T.A., witha solemn look on his face as they all stand in their locker-room, each one looking at each other with a determined expression.
Pain: Hmmm... well it seems that tongith is our last opportunity to crush Generation Pathetech... and I gurantee that if we LOSE at Kingdom of Hurt, somebody here is going to pay the consequences.
The camera slowly pans over the suprisingly calm faces of Omega, Virus, and Canceler.
Omega: Pain... trust us. When we go out there in that ring, with all those weapons in the ring... we are gonna take hold of those chumps and beat them unconcious!
Virus looks over and nods.
Virus: Ever since I joined the P.T.A. I swore that I would would annhilate anyone that stood in our path. If it weren't for Gasoline at Full House, we would have pulled it off too! And tongith at Kingdom of Hurt, we will finish this once and for all...
Canceler looks over and nods... then starts to speak as well!
Canceler: Generation Tech... shall fall. PTA... shall not.
The camera pans back over to Pain, who has a pleased look on his face.
Pain: Exactly... we had the advantage before them... and we will have the advantage this coming night as well. And when we finish with those... deliquents, they'll be begging us... BEGGING US... for mercy. And of course... we will show them none!
The principal smiles a sadistic smile as the four P.T.A. members glance over at each other, each man putting their hands in the middle.
All: At KINGDOM OF HURT... GENERATION TECH SHALL FALL!!!
We fade out to a commercial for Kingdom of Hurt.
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