Bedlam LadyD
Samurai Cop
Is a WSX Cupcake. BOOOOOOOM!!
Posts: 2,452
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Post by Bedlam LadyD on Oct 29, 2007 15:01:04 GMT -5
"4-3-2-1...
4-3-2-1...
1-2-3-Woooo..."* Tiffany, dressed in a fishnet top, denim mini-skirt & thigh length boots, excitedly races out onto the ramp. She can scarcely believe that she's getting a GND title shot so early in her career. This is the biggest opportunity she'll probably ever get! A lot of the crowd is actually cheering for her. Moreso for her pluck & determination than the fact that she's actually any good or anything.* "TG" Toni Garcya: The following contest is scheduled for one fall & it is for the EWT Girl Next Door Championship. Introducing first the challenger, from Los Angeles, California, weighing in at 118lbs... TIIIIIIFFAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYY!!! * At the mention of her name, Tiffany squeals & jumps up & down enthusiastically clapping her hands. She leaps right into a cartwheel down the ramp, successfully completing it this time... She must've been practicing. Tiffany actually seems somewhat confident this time. Perhaps the incentive of the GND title has made her train just that wee bit harder. She reaches the ring & crawls along the ring apron on all fours before sliding in under the bottom rope. Once inside, as usual, she does the splits, to the pleasure of the crowd. Getting back to her feet, Tiffany climbs a turnbuckle & throws her arms in the air. She nearly loses her balance in doing so, but quickly grabs the ropes to right herself & dismounts, waiting for her opponent...* She’s a killer… She’s a keeper… Cut me open.. With Precision… And we’ll finger The incision… Tell me what have I done… To watch you lose.. CONTROL?! “And the EWT Girl Next Door Champion, from Indianapolis, Indiana, weighing in at 144 pounds…Synthy ERIS!” Synthy steps out, full bedecked in metallic-angel-wing print leather vest, and leather pants. Atop her head resides a black and red pinstripe hat with mesh covering coming down on her face. The lights stop flickering and place their permanent purple color as Synthy holds her title up high, pride and cockiness in full force as she makes her way down the ring. She steps onto the arpon and does a single-handed flip before sending a disgusted look toward Tiffany. She throws out her hat, points at Tiffany, and pops her back before the bell rings. * Tiffany & Synthy circle eachother in the ring. Synthy is clearly dreading the match ahead. Tit seems apparent that even the Diva-Killer is worried she won’t get a decent bout from this plasticated moron. Tiffany, however seems more confident than in recent weeks. Tiffany runs at Synthy aiming for a clothesline. But Synthy absorbs the move & Tiff falls on her ass. Synth’s eyebrow raises, and she pops a bubble gum bubble. Tiffany stands up again, dusts herself off & regains her composure. Synthy tries to stifle something between a snicker & a groan. Tiff runs the ropes, aiming for another clothesline, but her foot snags on the bottom rope & Tiff falls flat on her face. The audience laugh derisively at the beautiful idiot. Synthy is not laughing this time. She walks over & extends a hand to help Tiffany up, quite uncharacteristically…but the look behind her eyes says she has something planned. Tiffany refuses, thinking she can get up by herself. Tiff does indeed, get to her feet without any assistance. But it is at this point that Tiff decides to get super-serious! She adopts more of a wrestling stance & challenges Synthy to "Bring it on!" & such. Synthy is letting Tiff know that she REALLY needs to calm down, but Tiff's having none of it. This is the biggest match of her young career & she's going to make the most of it. Tiffany continues to provoke Synthy, finally slapping her across the face. For Synthy, that's it! Like Bill Bixby in "The Incredible Hulk", her expression goes blank & she unleashes her fury on Tiffany. The audience breathes a collective sigh of relief to see Synth hasn‘t lost her edge.* * Synthy unleashes her fury on Tiffany. Battering her with a series of stiff Senshi-like kicks & strikes. Tiffany vainly tries to cover herself & protect her body from a battering, but there's nothing she can do to stem Synthy's onslaught. Synthy finally relents,((almost as if planning something more)) but Tiffany still stands. She seems ready to go again... then she takes a step forward & falls on her face in a Ric Flair fashion. Synthy rolls her eyes :: ) & brings Tiffany to her feet again. She holds Tiffany up by the chin, looking at her as though she were a piece of fine art (which she sort of is, to her plastic surgeon if nobody else). Leaving Tiffany to balance on her own for a second, Synthy rotates a full 360 degrees, looking to knock Tiff out with a spinning Heel Kick, but Tiff couldn't maintain her balance & fell down again before Synthy's kick could connect. Synthy is clearly losing her patience. She drags Tiff back to her feet again & Irish Whips her towards a corner, but Tiff trips over her own feet & falls before she reaches the corner. Synthy slaps a hand against her forehead at Tiffany's clumsiness & tries to make the best of the situation. She sits on Tiffany's back & applies a hold that not even Tiffany can’t botch, the Camel Clutch.* * The referee gets into position to check on Tiffany. He asks if she's giving up. Tiff shakes her head. Syn‘s gum escalates another loud POP as Tiffany groans. The camera zooms in on Tiffany‘s now-sweating tan forehead. This follows up with a close-up to Synthy‘s evil grin. After several more seconds, Syn drops her hold. She swiftly turns around and stomps on the Barbie‘s back before kicking her onto her side, finally getting in touch with the Diva-Killer side she’d semi-suppressed. She mounts Tiffany and lets several strikes fly hard into the face and balloons of Tiffany. The referee gives her a warning- but Synthy shoves him away. The ref gives her another warning, and again Syn shoves him! Now, the ref warns her if she shoves him again, he’s going to disqualify her. Synthy gives him quite the pissed look, before relenting, not wanting to have a loss to Tiffany on her record. But she can’t resist one more sharp kick to the side of the blonde’s head, hit with such force, the blonde goes limp. Synthy picks her up by the bleached tips, glares, and whispers words of caution. “Bimbo, you ever try to take me on again, and you’ll know what real pain is. This is child’s play compared to what I could, SHOULD do to you. Fortunately for you, I have other business to attend. Don’t mess with me. Step into the ring with me again, and I’ll leave you broken. I guarantee it.” Synthy lifts the woman up- and breaks her down with a ring-shaking Synful Intentions.
1
2
3. The fan boys of Tiff boo loudly, but Synthy just shakes her head. None of them matter to her. “And the winner of the match, still the Girl Next Door Champion…Synthy ERIS!”
She holds her Championship high, and smiles. The nightmare grin that Joe Ragnal used to be so afraid of has resurfaced, lacing each person‘s subconscious with poison nightmare fuel. She steps out of the ring, face back to neutral, flashes a peace sign to a little girl waving to her, and places her hat back on her head. Synthy clings very tightly to the belt, and walks to the back.
Boys and a few females cheer when the prone body of Tiffany starts standing, her all-too-flashy white teeth appearing in a blaze of…not-glory. Oh well.
FADE OUT.*
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Limey
Unicron
It's been awhile.
Posts: 3,062
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Post by Limey on Oct 30, 2007 2:40:31 GMT -5
*The lights dim as Howard Finkel takes the microphone, ready to announce the pre-SOTF bout.*
Fink: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest...is a LAST...MAN...STANDING MATCH!!!!! Whomever remains standing after the referee makes a ten count will be declared THE WINNER!!! Introducing first...
*The iconic music that the fans have been brought up to love hits, and The Rock makes his way out to a monster pop.*
Fink: From Miami, Florida, weighing in at 240 pounds...he is the Brahma Bull, The Great One, The People's Champion and the most electrifying man in sports entertainment history...THE ROCK!!!!!!!
*The Rock enters the ring, and climbs to the top rope, raising his hand and smelling the electricity in the ring to a huge pop.*
Fink: Aaaaaaand his opponent...
*"RIP" hits. The crowd pop once more as the arena is bathed in green light....Limey isn't coming out!! We cut to the back, where Carla O Woe is trying to speak to Limey.*
Carla: Limey, you have got to talk sense to her!!! Did I TELL you about that creepy shrine that psycho has?? She is out of her damn mind!!! If you don't say anything, you're going to get hurt, she's going to get hurt, anyone in the way, like me, are going to get hurt!!!
Limey: Carla...I would like nothing better than to talk sense to her...except for one thing, and that's the EWT World Heavyweight Championship! I need to focus on the Megadeth, it's one of the most barbaric match concepts ever drafted here in EWT!!! After it's over, I'll talk to Mystery, I promise you! Until then, I need to focus. Please understand...
*Limey walks off as Carla sighs, not sure what to believe here.*
*We cut back to the arena...Limey makes his way out of the back, throwing up the horns to a huge pop!!! Limey proceeds to make his way down to the ring as the fans pop madly for him!!*
Fink: ...from Liverpool, England...he weighs in at 15 Stone..."The British Brawling Machine", LIMEY!!!!
*Limey enters the ring, and throws the horns up once more as the bell rings.*
*The Rock starts things off with a clothesline attempt, which Limey ducks. The Rock uses this momentum to run the ropes, and come back at Limey, who gets down in preparation for a body drop...Rocky kicks the head of Limey up...Limey transitions this with a Sabin enziguri!!! The Rock falls to the mat as the count begins!
1, 2...
*Rocky takes the leg of Limey and trips him, grabbing at the feet and twisting them around, starting a sharpshooter...Limey grabs The Rock by the head and pulls him down for a Small Package...rolling him all the way over, giving Limey the chance to get to his feet! Limey kicks at the fallen body of the Rock, leaping up into the air for a standing leg drop onto Rocky's neck!!!*
*Rocky scrambles up to his feet as Limey stalks the Great One! The Rock is up, stumbling into Limey, who lifts him up for a spinebuster...no! The People's Champ hits an elbow to the back of the head of Limey, before going over Limey with a float-over DDT!!!*
1, 2, 3...
*Limey gets up to his feet, unaware that the most electrifying man in sports entertainment is on Limey's tail like a hunter! Limey turns...as The Rock proceeds to lay the smackdown on Limey!!! Rock spits on his hand before going for an open-palm slap...Limey ducks this and runs the ropes! Rock turns...as Limey hops to the second rope, coming off 180 degrees for a flying lariat!!!!
1, 2...
*Rocky gets to his feet, only to be hit with a STIFF kick to the chest by Limey!!! Rock clutches at his chest, heading over to the ropes and leaning against them...Limey bulldogs the head of the Rock, effectively gullotining him on the ropes as Limey lands on the outside!!!! Limey appeals to the crowd as Rock bounces off the ropes!! The British Brawling Machine hops up to the apron as Rocky comes back at him! Limey grabs Rocky and lifts him up...Rock puts on the brakes, landing on his feet before hitting a few shots to the gut...Limey gets lifted slightly...but Limey also puts the brakes on...lifting up Rocky and sending him over the ropes as both men crash to the outside!!!*
1, 2, 3, 4, 5...Limey is up, 6, 7...Rock gets to his feet...
*Limey sees that Rocky is recovering, and, although still in pain from the suplex attempt, hops to the apron, and tries to come off with a moonsault...Rock moves out of the way, but Limey lands on his feet...Rock captures the landed Limey and hits a spinebuster!!! Limey arches his back in agony as the Rock appeals to the fans!!! Rock then grabs the head of Limey, and drags him over to the announcers table, taking the monitors and casting them aside before shoving Limey on top of them! Rock climbs the announcer's table and waits for Limey to get to his knees before taking him into the Rock Bottom...NO!!! Limey hits an elbow to the head of the Rock, and throws him off the table!!! Rock lands on his feet, bashing his head on the ring apron slightly, before turning...LIMEY WITH A MISSILE DROPKICK FROM THE TABLE!!!! Rocky is down!!!*
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6...Rock is stirring... 7, 8....
*Rocky is to his feet...but not for long as Limey kicks him in the gut...lifting him up high and nailing the TWIST OF LIME ON THE HARD FLOOR!!!! The referee makes a count!!*
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9...Rocky appears to be out of it... 10!!!!
Winner: "The British Brawling Machine", Limey!!!!
*Limey looks satisfied with the win, but not too much, as he makes his way to the back, throwing up the horns, with so much on his mind...*
Cut to the next segment...
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Sigma: Current SRW Champ!
Dennis Stamp
Writes about wrestling, does videos about game shows, helps transpeople, loves baseball etc.
Posts: 4,525
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Post by Sigma: Current SRW Champ! on Oct 31, 2007 14:45:23 GMT -5
Tony Schiavone: Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a great contest next. Maelstrom will be taking on an enraged Sigma.
Jesse Ventura: Sigma isn’t in a great mood right now, and Maelstrom better watch his step when it comes to him. Sigma has been leaning more towards the technical side of his game instead of the power side. Therefore, Maelstrom better watch himself.
Tony Schiavone: Not only that, he’s also been acting really weird as of late. Sigma seems more focused on Shane Malone and the rest of the time he’s just plain emotionless.
Jesse Ventura: Well, that’s what he has to do in order to get focused, otherwise he’s hesitant and lost.
Tony Schiavone: Ok, we’re all set, and now let’s get to the ring.
(Bell rings)
Gary Michael Capetta: Ladies and gentlemen, our next contest is scheduled for one fall with a 20 minute time limit. Introducing first,
('Apocalypse Please' (variant) by Muse plays, crowd cheers)
From the Aquarium, weighing in at 287 pounds, Maelstrom.
Tony Schiavone: It’s been a while since we’ve last seen Maelstrom.
Jesse Ventura: Yeah, he looks really good and is ready to take out Sigma, albeit one big task that will be.
(Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode plays, crowd boos)
GMC: And his Opponent, from Tacoma Washington. He weighs in tonight at 265 pounds, Sigma.
Tony Schiavone: Look at his face, Jesse. He’s emotionless.
Jesse Ventura: Yup, and he just doesn’t care anymore. He’s now focused on his match with Shane Malone and Voltigeur at Survival of the Fittest. He has to contend with Maelstrom now.
(bell rings)
Tony Schiavone: Ok, bell sounds and we are underway.
Sigma and Maelstrom circle one another before they hook up and do a test of strength. Maelstrom gets the upper hand and shoves Sigma down.
Tony Schiavone: Collar and elbow tie up, they struggle and Maelstrom shoves Sigma down. Impressive by Maelstrom.
Sigma gets back up, the go back to the collar and elbow tie-up, Sigma grabs an arm and wrenches it. He flings Maelstrom into the ropes, ducks an incoming clothesline, does a drop toe hold and goes for a rear head lock.
Tony Schiavone: There’s another tie-up, Sigma going for an armwrench, Irish whip to the ropes, ducks the clothesline, but gets him in a drop toe hold and goes straight to Maelstrom’s head.
Sigma holds on to the rear headlock, but Maelstrom gets up, lifts Sigma up and delivers a suplex. Maelstrom then picks him up, and delivers a hard vertical suplex. While Sigma winces, Maelstrom puts him down for the pin.
Jesse Ventura: Sigma still grabbing on Maelstrom’s head, looks like he knows what he wants to do in this match.
Tony Schiavone: But wait, Jesse. Maelstrom is standing up, and lifts Sigma over his head, and delivers a suplex. Maelstrom, not one to rest on his laurels, picks up Sigma and hes got him up over his head for a strong vertical suplex. Now he’s got him covered.
Ref: 1……..2……..NO!
Jesse Ventura: 1………2…………..Nope, Sigma kicked out. Way too early in this match for that to happen.
Maelstrom picks up Sigma again, but Sigma elbows him in the stomach, irish whips him into the ropes and delivers a standing dropkick. Sigma then goes for the pin.
Tony Schiavone: Maelstrom picks Sigma up, and Sigma counters with an elbow to the mid-section. Sigma, Irish whip into the ropes, and a standing dropkick.
Jesse Ventura: Sigma saw an opening and decided to take it, now he’s got the cover.
Ref: 1……….2………..NO!
Tony Schiavone: And Maelstrom kicks out of that combination. The dropkick nailed him spot on the head, but Maelstrom his a ton of reserve energy.
Jesse Ventura: Yeah, but Sigma has a ton of power also, and a better technical understanding than Maelstrom.
Sigma goes off the ropes for a elbow drop, but misses. Maelstrom decides to pick him up, put his arm behind his back and bodyslam him on the arm.
Tony Schiavone: Sigma, going for the elbow……AND HE MISSED!
Jesse Ventura: Big opening for Maelstrom now, let’s see if he takes advantage of it.
Tony Schiavone: Maelstrom has got Sigma’s right arm, the same arm he used to deliver the elbow drop, puts it behind his back and slams Sigma on his arm.
Sigma: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Maelstrom: Time for you to feel a tidal wave.
Jesse Ventura: Maelstrom doing a little trash-talking while he’s got Sigma down. Showing off his old heel self again is soothing to me.
Maelstrom scales to the top rope. He is waiting for Sigma to get up.
Tony Schiavone: Maelstrom is perched up on top of the turnbuckle. It looks like he’s waiting for Sigma to get up.
Sigma then gets up and Maelstrom delivers a massive Double Axe Handle off the top rope.
Jesse Ventura: And he delivers a huge Double Axe Handle off the top rope. Sigma is looking dazed and confused, a rarity for him.
Tony Schiavone: This doesn’t seem to be normal for Sigma. He is usually dominant, but this time he’s being dominated.
Ref: 1…………2………….NO!
Tony Schiavone: And Sigma kicks out again. Sigma is staying in there.
Maelstrom is looking a bit frustrated. He goes after Sigma, flings him into the turnbuckle. Maelstrom goes for a big splash, and misses entirely. Sigma then turns him around, kicks him in the midsection and delivers an Evenflow DDT.
Tony Schiavone: Maelstrom now picking up Sigma and a BIGGG Irish Whip into the ropes.
Maelstrom: Time for the Tides to change!
Jesse Ventura: Maelstrom sensing the beginning of the end. Going for a big splash, and MISSES!
Tony Schiavone: That’s the break Sigma needs. Sigma turns him around, kick to the mid-section, AND THE EVENFLOW DDT!
Sigma is slow to realize that he’s got him down. After realizing it, he covers Maelstrom rather lacklusterly.
Tony Schiavone: Sigma is spent.
GMC: 10 minutes left in the bout, 10 minutes.
Jesse Ventura: This match is halfway over and Sigma has him covered.
Ref: 1……..2……….NO!
As soon as the Ref started to go down for 3, Maelstrom puts his shoulder up. Sigma rolls out of the ring to get a breather.
Jesse Ventura: Sigma going outside to get a breather. He looks like he needs it.
Sigma then goes back into the ring and is met with a big boot by Maelstrom. Sigma is dazed and then given a massive Neckbreaker by Maelstrom.
Tony Schiavone: Sigma comes back into the ring and MAELSTROM WITH A HUGE BOOT TO THE FACE!!!
Jesse Ventura: All of that rest for nothing. Maelstrom now looks more recovered than Sigma.
Tony Schiavone: True, and Maelstrom has him in a front head lock, and he’s going for the Neckbreaker and drops him. Sigma is looking more haggared by the minute.
Sigma goes down and is holding his neck. Maelstrom decides to cover him.
Ref: 1……….2…………NO!
Tony Schiavone: Sigma barely getting the shoulder up.
Jesse Ventura: Sigma continuing to show Shane Malone and Voltigeur that he won’t go down without a fight.
Maelstrom picks up Sigma, hinting for another neckbreaker, but Sigma grabs Maelstrom’s legs and goes for a Boston Crab.
Tony Schiavone: Maelstrom is looking to do another Neckbreaker. Maelstrom looking to put him away.
Jesse Ventura: Possibly, but Sigma has a hold of his legs and sweeps them out from under him. Sigma is turning him and got him in a Boston Crab.
Sigma has the Boston Crab cinched in. Maelstrom is screaming in pain, but crawling to the ropes to force Sigma to break it.
Tony Schiavone: Sigma has him in the Boston Crab. He’s got the submission hold cinched in tight.
Jesse Ventura: Shouldn’t be too long now, they’ve both been delivering big blows to each other for the past 10 minutes.
Tony Schiavone: Maelstrom is slowly crawling to the ropes.
Jesse Ventura: Yeah, but Sigma’s got that hold locked in. He should be able to hold it in.
Maelstrom finally reaches the ropes and Sigma is forced to break the hold.
Ref: Break it Sigma, break it. 1……2…….3…….4!
Sigma finally breaks the hold and tries to pull Maelstrom from the ropes, but he kicks him away and Sigma goes flying.
Tony Schiavone: Sigma going for Maelstrom again, Maelstrom mule-kicking him off and Sigma goes to the otherside of the ring.
Maelstrom now gets up and decides to end it right here and now. Maelstrom picks up Sigma and decides to go for The Whirlpool.
Tony Schiavone: Maelstrom is now calling for the Whirlpool.
Jesse Ventura: If he hits this, it’s all over.
Maelstrom lifts him up, starts to spin and drops Sigma down, completing the Whirlpool.
Tony Schiavone: The Whirlpool connected.
Ref: 1…………2…………..NO!
Maelstrom gets up with his hand in victory, but the ref tells him that Sigma got his shoulder up just as the hand hit 3.
Tony Schiavone: Maelstrom thought he had this match won, but Sigma gets the shoulder up just before the 3 count.
Jesse Ventura: Sigma has proved to me that he belongs more and more in the upper tier of EWT. I could see him as the World Champion in the next year, and Maelstrom getting his belt back again.
GMC: 5 minutes left in the contest, 5 minutes.
Tony Schiavone: Gary Michael Capetta stating that there is only 5 minutes left in the contest. Sigma and Maelstrom would have to pull out all stops now.
Sigma slowly gets to his feet to see Maelstrom arguing with the Ref. He goes behind Maelstrom and hooks him to get ready for the Sigma Suplex.
Jesse Ventura: Sigma caught him arguing with the Ref. Now Maelstrom is going to pay for it.
Tony Schiavone: He’s got Maelstrom ready for the Sigma Suplex.
Sigma lifts Maelstrom and delivers a picture perfect Sigma Suplex.
Jesse Ventura: He’s got Sigma up, and brings him down to the canvas.
Tony Schiavone: The Sigma Suplex connects, but Sigma is looking completely worn out.
Jesse Ventura: Sigma has been fighting for close to 16 minutes non-stop. He’s been battered, bruised and now he’s only got about 3 minutes left to beat Maelstrom.
Sigma finally covers Maelstrom.
Ref: 1…………2………….ThNO!
Maelstrom’s shoulder barely gets up. Sigma is just tired out of his mind.
Schiavone: Sigma looks completely haggard now.
Sigma gets up, picks up Maelstrom and has his hand around his neck, motioning for a chokeslam.
Tony Schiavone: It looks like Sigma’s going for a chokeslam.
Unfortunately for Sigma, Maelstrom knees him right in the midsection, lets go and Maelstrom grabs his throat.
Jesse Ventura: Knee into the stomach, Sigma lets go and now Maelstrom has Sigma in position for a chokeslam. This could spell the end of Sigm aright tnow.
GMC: 3 Minutes left in the contest. Three Minutes.
Tony Schiavone: 3 minutes left in the contest.
Maelstrom lifts up Sigma and delivers the Chokeslam.
Jesse Ventura: Maelstrom just hit the massive Chokeslam.
Sigma is left laying on the canvas. Maelstrom goes for the cover.
Ref: 1……..2…….No, foot is on the rope.
Tony Schiavone: Pinning combination 1, 2 But Sigma got his foot on the rope just in the nick of time.
Maelstrom looks distraught due to Sigma finding a way to not lose the match. Maelstrom lifts Sigma up, but Sigma nails him with a Small Package.
Tony Schiavone: Maelstrom lifts up Sigma, but Sigma rolled him up into a small package.
Ref: 1……..2……….Kickout.
Maelstrom kicks out of the small package, and decides that enough is enough and goes out full throttle against Sigma.
GMC: 2 minutes left in the time limit, 2 minutes.
With only Two minutes left in the match, Maelstrom decides to lift up Sigma, throw him into the ropes and nails him with another big boot, which propels Sigma to the outside.
Tony Schiavone: Maelstrom throws Sigma into the ropes, and Nails him with yet another big boot.
Jesse Ventura: Yeah, but unlike last time, Sigma is on the outside, and not on the inside.
Ref: 1…………2…………..
Maelstrom decides to go after Sigma, thus breaking the ref’s count.
Jesse Ventura: Now why did Maelstrom break the ref’s count by going after Sigma?
Tony Schiavone: Maybe he wants to actually beat him outright. That seems the reasonable thing to do.
Ref: 1………….2………………3………………4
GMC: 1 minute left in the contest, 1 minute.
Maelstrom picks up Sigma and throws him back into the ring.
Jesse Ventura: Maelstrom threw him back into the ring. He should have left him there, and get the count-out Victory.
Tony Schiavone: Well, maybe he wants to pin Sigma.
Ref: 1…………..2…………..No. Shoulder up.
Tony Schiavone: Sigma gets the shoulder up yet again.
Maelstrom decides to try the Whirlpool again.
Jesse Ventura: Maelstrom is going for the Whirlpool again.
GMC: 30 seconds left.
Tony Schiavone: Only 30 seconds left, and Maelstrom is gambling it all on another Whirlpool.
Maelstrom lifts up Sigma, but Sigma counters into an Evenflow DDT.
Jesse Ventura: And the gamble came up craps as Sigma nailed that Evenflow DDT.
Sigma is laying there dazed, confused and decides to go for the cover.
Ref: 1……2……….NO!
Tony Schiavone: Sigma didn’t get him. The DDT hit perfectly, but Maelstrom won’t give up.
GMC: 15 seconds left, 15 seconds.
Sigma picks up Maelstrom, and motions for another Sigma Suplex.
Tony Schiavone: He’s going for one last score, The Sigma Suplex.
Jesse Ventura: It’s all or nothing now.
Sigma has him ready, but Maelstrom slips out and runs to the ropes.
GMC: 10 seconds
Tony Schiavone: Maelstrom slipped out, and is now charging Sigma.
Maelstrom and Sigma prep for Clotheslines, and both of them hit at the same time and knock both of them out.
GMC 5....4
Jesse Ventura: And both of them collide and they are both out.
GMC: 3…..2……..1……(bell rings)
Tony Schiavone: And there’s the bell, signaling the end of the match. It looks like we got a time limit draw.
GMC: Ladies and gentlemen, the 20 minute time limit has expired. The match is ruled a draw.
Jesse Ventura: Both men have expelled a ton of energy. They have both truly shown to be great wrestlers and will be forces to be reckoned with.
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Post by Hensley on Oct 31, 2007 16:22:07 GMT -5
*Hardcore Hensley is seen bouncing back and forth in his locker room. He does a few combos before Sum Guy waltzes in for the interruption.*
Sum Guy: Mr. Hensley, may I have a word with you?
*Hensley smirks at the remark.*
Hardcore Hensley: Just call me Hensley.
*Sum Guy obliges.*
Sum Guy: Thus far, you've really failed to many any sort of an impact within the EWT ranks. Would you care to elaborate on this?
*Sum Guy braces as though he's about to get run over by a drunk driver. Hensley shakes his head.*
Hardcore Hensley: Well, I don't know what to really tell you except that I haven't been pinned yet, and I haven't submitted to anyone! Of course, I haven't exactly pinned anyone myself, or made anyone tap out, but that's beside the point!
Sum Guy: With your name being left off the card for Survival of the Fittest, you surely have enough time to turn things in the other direction.
*Hensley wags his pointer finger at the interviewer.*
Hardcore Hensley: Very true, my friend. You see, the way I've been handling things hasn't really fallen into my favor. Then again, it hasn't really seemed to backfire too badly against me. Still, as a man, I don't do draws. It's either win or go home for me, and quite frankly, I'm close to home now. Too close!
*Sum Guy nods with approval. He's impressed.*
Sum Guy: Can you give us some insight on what your next move might be?
*Hensley sighs and begins to concentrate. He goes to answer several times, but halts himself abruptly.*
Hardcore Hensley: You know, I think I'm just going to play with what I've been dealt with. I'm big, I'm swift, and I'm game.
*Hensley thinks for another moment then shakes his head delightfully. He seems to be satisfied with himself as does Sum Guy who shows a new look upon the rookie. This one far better than the previous one.*
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Post by Tha Kid Joker on Nov 1, 2007 0:10:40 GMT -5
The camera fades into the EWT arena; the screen showing an inhabited ring. We immediately see Cassinova, standing in the middle of a large group of about a half a dozen security guards. He seems to be in the middle of speaking, and the audio fades in along with the video.
Cassinova: There's not a person in that locker room who deserves a shot at this title! That's why I have these guards: Everyone around here thinks that you can just perform a sneak attack on someone, or kidnap their little sister or something and they'll give you a title shot. Is that how you do business, EWT? Kidnap people? Piss them off? Well, uh, duh. How about I just call the police or come to your house. If you hit me with a chair, I don't want to wait until three Sundays later and put my title on the line. And who the hell is Spectre?
Suddenly, whisperings begin in the audience--it seems a figure has appeared at the entrance ramp. The camera swerves, and a very irritated-looking Synthy (decked out out in her angel-wing print leather vest and zebra-lined pants) is shown in the frame. She lets out an audible groan of disgust and stares at Cass for a long moment before sa-shaying toward him--the look in her eyes becoming more animalistic as the seconds tick by, and the feet between them grow shorter. Eventually, she makes her way into the ring, stepping right in front of the wall of security.
Cassinova: (Cringing as he sees Synthy, before smirking and throwing his arm over the shoulder of one of his security team members.) Well, well... look who finally caught up! (He pats the man on the back.) I'll let these gentlemen handle my light work for me--I'm not done talking yet.
Cass turns away from Synthy and begins to continue talking, as Synthy's smirk grows a little wider. Before long, she plants a solid kick to the 'gentleman' nearest her in the heart! The guard hits the mat with solid thunk, and Cass continues talking as if he doesn't hear the commotion behind him. Assuming Synthy is being man-handled, he smirks and speaks out to the fans who watch the action taking place behind him with intrigue.
Cassinova: But yes, like I was saying. Why should I give anyone a title shot? Let me ask you this: Who around here has done anything to deserve an Ox-Division Title shot? Don't worry, I'll wait.
He crosses his arms and taps his feet, waiting for the crowd to say any names to them. Of course, they're too busy looking at the violence going on in the ring to pay any attention to him. Synthy sends a wink toward a side of the audience before spearing another guard out of the going. With a twisted grin she flips backward and straight-up punches one man in a place that knocks him into Sopranoland--well, would of, had the shot not rendered him unconscious. Synthy snaps her fingers and points to the second to last of the guards, before she sweeps his legs out from underneath and snaps his arm into a position that is rather abnormal for that particular limb. She raises her fist in a victory stance before quickly gesturing the final guard to 'come on..'. This guard seems to be of a Batista-like build. She stares at him for a second, glances at Cassinova, whom is still happily oblivious, looks back toward the guard and hits a rather amazing tornado kick to the guy's solar plexus. The guard drops, and Synthy stands straight up. All is still for a while, and Cass is still waiting for the audience to say a name to him. Finally, after a while of staring at his watch, he looks back up with his point "proven."
Cassinova: Exactly! And I thank you!
He grins, before becoming aware of the silence behind him. He looks a little disappointed that the guards are no longer beating Synthy senseless, but even more disappointed that it took this long to smash her to smitherines. Perhaps they took out extra time to smash her smitherines to smitherines?
Cassinova: (Sighing and looking into the sky.) Finally! That took forever! All right, fellas, now let me get a good look at... (He turns around, staring right into the flaming eyes of Synthy.) ...you.
Synthy smiles, her teeth looking sharp from Cassinova's viewpoint. Her flaming amethsyt eyes are enough to send shivers down any smart man's spine, but this is Cassinova we're talking about. He just looks dumb..founded as to why she's still standing.
Synthy: Hello, Cass.
Staring at her blankly, Cassinova casually lifts his hand and waves with a few blinks following.
Synthy rolls her head around and the various pops that eminate from it sound quite... icky. =\
Synthy: Been awhile since we've..stood face-to-face. And that blank look you're giving me reminds me of why exactly that is.
Cassinova frowns and leans to the side.
Cassinova: Mmm... I can't remember what I had for breakfast. But... I never forget a face, even though I wish I could make an exception in your case. You're Synthy Eris, destroyer of worlds and hater of all things cooler than you. You come to seek revenge on the man who you think screwed over your best, and probably only friend. Well, what your abnormally-colored head fails to realize...
Synthy: ...Is how the bloody blue hell you've managed to make it this far in life with your pretty little face still completely in tack.
Cassinova: ...
...Aw, you called me pretty! ^.^
He throws back on the serious face.
Cassinova: Wait, wait, hold on! You shouldn't even be out here! I'm sick of little imps like you interrupting my talk time! I only get like, five minutes a week to earn my paycheck! Do you know what happens if I don't deliver?! Huh?! Do you know what welfare feels like?! They used to call me Hand-Me-Down Henry in Middle School! And my name isn't even Henry! And where the hell are my security guards?!
Synthy: (Annoyed.) GUH. My God, man, you're a complete moron!
She gestures towards the strewn-out bodyguards. Cassinova covers his mouth as he looks around at the men.
Cassinova: Men... lying on the floor in complete agony... anguish... unbearable pain and trauma... wishing for death, but unfortunately not receiving it... possibly just experiencing the worst few seconds of torture and chaos they have ever felt in their short lives... an assault of both the psycological and physical well-being...
...Did you have sex with them?!
Synthy looks ready to kill him after numerous long, painful tortures. She gives him a disgusted look.
Synthy: Must every insult you hand me have to deal with sex or suicide? It seems apparent there's a subconscious undertone there, Cassinova. You either want to screw me, or kill me.
Cassinova: What? Are you a psychiatrist now? Look, if it helps settle your mind, I am in no way, shape, or form a murderer... and I wouldn't want to see that nasty, beat-up... ughhh... for all the money in the world. When was the last time you've seen action, anyway? I imagine that by now, whatever you currently have in your boy-shorts has spawned cobwebs from years from abandonment and frustration.
Synthy: There you go again. Just because you seem to have the wrestling equivalent to Jenna Jameson's 'exploits' doesn't mean the rest of us are dried-up. Not that it's any of your business, but I prefer to not lay with every man that offers. I kinda prefer... oh, ya' know, some little thing called AFFECTION. Just because I'm not some flaming whore when it comes to my bedroom excursions, does not give you the right to harrass me, jackass.
Realizing what she's talking about, she grits her teeth and pokes him in the chest, HARD.
Synthy: So, in spirit of the mood, just f*** off.
Cassinova stumbles backwards slightly and takes a couple of steps back.
Cassinova: Hey now, language! There are children here, you know! Having the facial hair of a sailor doesn't give you the right to swear like one. And who wants to sleep with a flaming whore? Maybe it's just me, but that seems uncomfortable at best...
Synthy: Point, actually. But you can still shut up about my personal bedroom habits, you dust-brained, he-bimbo.
Cassinova gasps and brings his hand up to his chest, looking genuinely hurt.
Cassinova: I'm appalled at you, Syn! How dare you question my honor? Oh, oh... I get it. Well, perhaps not. If I weren't so sure that you'd rather teach me how to play field hockey than hug me, I'd say your anger towards me is because of a little playground crush you have on ol' Cass! Could I be the last strand of hope for the male population, to keep this uglier-than-thou she-thing from jumping from feminist bi-sexual to scary butch lesbian?
He covers his mouth as if shocked at his own over-dramatic words--holding this position as he waits for her reply. Syn looks to one side very slowly, then to the other. She closes her eyes and seemingly counts to ten.
In actuality, she's chanting 'Kill him when there are no witnesses'...
Synthy: Son of a ... "Playground crush?" If I didn't know you were an 'edger, I'd ask what you were smoking. "PLAYGROUND CRUSH?" On YOU? Mein gott in himmel, Cass. Don't fool yourself into thinking something like that. If you did, I'd damn near be worried you'd start thinking you could jump off a cliff and fly. Actually, I'd cheer... but that is a subject best saved for later.
Syn takes another breath and takes a step closer to Cass, staring up toward him with an eyebrow raised.
Synthy: Butch lesbian? Really? I just LUFF the fact you resort to using that as a credible insult. After all, if a girl isn't attracted to you, she must be a lesbian. Right?
Cassinova: Right.
Synthy: Frick. You frustrate me.
Cassinova: I do my best.
Synthy: Oh, I'm sure you could do much better. After all, someone as... cretin-ish such as you can never fail to fall to downright nerve-grating levels.
Cassinova: ...I'm confused as to why you're out here. Are we just going to talk? Shouldn't we be beating each other to death right about now? It's like when I go to one of those protests in San Francisco where misguided people have no idea what they're talking about. Like, "Should I just choke somebody, or...?"
Synthy smiles. The smile that gave Joe Ragnal nightmares weeks after he first saw it.
Synthy: Violence is always a preferred answer in my book. Wanna' start this right now?
She takes a step back and takes up a 'c'mon!' pose. Cass looks uninterested.
Cassinova: Hm... nah, I think I'll pass. If you want piece of this, either ask one of the suits in management for a match, or get surgery.
He attempts to push past her to get out of the ring. Synthy swiftly sticks out her arm and rearranges herself to be directly beneath Cassinova's chin.
Synthy: You think it'll be that easy? Haven't you run away enough, coward?
Her voice has gone cold, icy. Her eyes are flaming. It's a very creepy mixture.
Cassinova: (Staring into her eyes, frowning.) I'm not a coward, but our business here is done. Perhaps you just don't know when enough is enough? Think back through all of the many, many, many misfortunes in your life. Think about how many of those could've been avoided by you knowing when enough is enough. I know what battles should be fought, and this isn't one of them... now if you'll excuse me...
He attempts to push past her once more. Synthy grits her teeth and instantly pushes him backward once more.
Synthy: You still haven't figured it out, have you, creep?
Cassinova: (Slowly becoming enraged.) Figured out what? What? Tell me what I haven't realized yet! All I know is that I have somewhere to be, and you're keeping me from being there! I have no more business to speak with you--we're done! Through! Finished! You're... dismissed...
He turns and slowly heads for the ropes to the right, shaking his head. Synthy lets out a snarl before grabbing at the back of his shirt and yanking him back hard enough to rip the fabric. She maneuvers herself in front of him with a look of pure condescension.
Synthy: A challenge, jackass. A challenge against you. For the one thing you might actually love.
Cassinova: Right, as if EWT is going to sanction a "Winner Receives Cassinova's Secret Stash of Lindt Chocolate Truffles" match...
Synthy slaps him. No warning, just outright
Synthy: You are a CHAMPION! Even you should realize what I'm talking about!
Cassinova: (Holding the side of his face.) ...You slapped me! And did you rip my shirt?!
Synthy: No, I ironed it. Man, you really are effing OBLIVIOUS.
Cassinova: (Starting to seethe a bit.) ...
Synthy: Aww. Am I starting to piss you off? Good. Maybe you'll actually put up a better fight then I suspected after all. You look like one of those types who'd break a nail and bawl for a week.
Hell, Synthy knows this isn't true, but good gods, does she enjoy seeing his face flash red.
Cassinova: (Burning up inside, he usually never wants to resort to cheap insults that are hurtful for no reason. Sighing, he makes an exception.) ...And you look like one of those types who's had a guy or two that used and made a fool out of her...
Her brief moment of contentness ruined, Synthy steps right up to Cassinova once more. Their two sets of blazing eyes meet, and neither look away.
Synthy: Take it back.
Cassinova: I meant every word.
Synthy: (Her voice now inaudible to the microphone.) You have all of five seconds to get the hell out of my face. I've already started counting.
Cassinova takes a single step back. Slowly, his security begins to climb to the apron and retake the ring, albeit sorely.
Cassinova: Don't do anything stupid. Wouldn't want you to get hurt...
Synthy: Right, like your "security" hurt me last time?
Cassinova snarls his lip as the security enters the ring. He tucks one side of his hair behind his ear, and hooks his free thumb around one of his belt loops.
Cassinova: You know what? I want you to do something to me. I really do. Please, Synthy... (The men form a circle around the two champions.) ...I'm begging you... hurt me. Show all of the nice people in the crowd and watching at home what an angry, pathetic, violent, two-faced, self-centered, self-hyping, overestimated, overrated, classless, bitchy, worthless piece of trash that you are, and prove me right.
Synthy places her hands behind her back, slipping something onto her right hand. She glares directly into Cass' eyes, and without a second thought...
Synthy: ...Okay.
The next few seconds seem to fade by in a blur. Synthy swiftly pulls her arms from behind her back and immediately swings her armed hand forward, making a downward-slashing motion onto the right side of Cass' face. Cassinova yells out and falls to the mat, as security begins to once again attempt to do their job. In an instant, she ducks under the oncoming wave of men and rolls out of the ring, as Cassinova clutches at his stricken and heavily bleeding face. With her gone, the members of the security team turn and check on Cass, whose face is now a bloody mess. He places both hands over his face--both to try and stop himself from bleeding, and hide his now hideous crimson-covered visage.
Meanwhile, the cameras cut to Synthy, who laughs slightly to herself before kissing the now-bloody metal claw that she bought in Japan a couple of months ago. Backing up the ramp, she gets a clear view of the chaos in the ring, as the guards try to keep Cassinova from screaming out about his face and bleeding all over the mat. The camera settles on this image of a smug Synthy, as we...
Fade to commercial.
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Post by India's Most Wanted on Nov 1, 2007 14:02:54 GMT -5
*Bobby Heenan makes his way out to EWT's sold out arena! He motions backstage...and out come Tully Blanchard and Arn Anderson, the Brain Busters!!! They get a mixed reaction from marks and old-school wrestling fans!*
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is a STRETCHER MATCH!!! The rules are to strap your opponent to one of the stretchers and push the stretcher over the indicated line. BOTH athletes have to be over the line for it to count! Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by Bobby "The Brain" Heenan...weighing at a total combined weight of 477 pounds...they are the team of Tully Blanchard and Arn Anderson...the BRAAAAAIN BUSTERS!!!!!
*The Brain Busters enter the ring...but are suddenly jumped by India's Most Wanted upon entering the ring!!! Kuresh Harishandra clubs the back of Tully Blanchard as Jayant Monsoon smashes a Cobra Beer bottle over the head of Arn Anderson! Monsoon then takes the stunned Anderson over his head with the Cobra 0.0%!!! Harishandra is beating down Blanchard hard as Monsoon comes over to join in the beatdown! The "Punjabi Rajah" lifts up Blanchard and holds him in position as the "Wild Tiger" rakes the eyes of Blanchard, before running the ropes and hitting the PAINLESS EXECUTION!!!!*
*IMW then turn their attention to Arn Anderson, who appears to be getting up, pieces of glass in his head...Monsoon picks him up by the head...and then hoists him up on his shoulders...BLACK WIDOWMAKER!!!! Monsoon poses as the crowd boo him mercilessly, chanting "MONSOON SUCKS!". IMW take the Brain Busters to the stretchers on the outside, and strap them to them, taking the stretchers and shoving them over the line to win the match, albiet cheaply.*
Winners: India's Most Wanted.
*Post-match, Harishandra takes the microphone...*
Harishandra: Is THIS the best tag team that EWT has to offer?? Well, let me tell you...I SPIT on these old...washed up has-beens...and I spit on any one of you idiots who chooses to cheer them!!! We demand...a REAL tag team challenge here in EWT!!! Anyone who faces us, faces India's full force!!!
Monsoon: (taking the mic) Yeah!! You can all talk big, but when the dust has settled...it'll be IMW sitting back, drinking Cobra Beer, with EWT's tag division at our feet! SORRY...'bout your bad Karma!!!
*IMW leave the ringside to a mass of boos. Heenan tries to loosen the straps on the stretchers as we fade to a commercial.*
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Indigocrates
Unicron
I got bored. Decided to become a philosopher. Just 'cause.
Posts: 2,953
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Post by Indigocrates on Nov 1, 2007 18:11:52 GMT -5
*As Spike Dudley awaits his opponent, a piano suddenly crashes down onto Spike! The ref goes to check on Spike, and sees a table is in the piano! EMT's, trainers, etc. immediately rush down to the ring as we cut to the next segment.*
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The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
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Post by The Line on Nov 2, 2007 0:34:27 GMT -5
*We are backstage where we see Andy Duke and Alexa King talking.
Duke: So you’re facing Victoria tonight. She’s tough, but you can beat her. Keep that win-streak alive.
Alexa: Yeah...about that
Duke: Can it wait until after the match?
Alexa: Not really… it’s serious.
Duke: Well its going to have to wait because….
*A referee enters.
Duke: Because I’ve got to talk to this guy!
Alexa: About what?
Duke: Just business baby.
Ref: Hey Ms. King. I’ll be refereeing your match tonight. It’ll be a pleasure.
Duke: Babe, can you leave us guys alone.
Alexa: I guess….
*Alexa leaves.
Duke: OK, now that she’s gone, you understand what’s going down.
Ref: The second Alexa goes for a pin, use a fast count. What if she doesn’t go for one?
Duke: You don’t worry about that. I’ve got it under control.
Ref: OK.
Duke: Oh, I almost forgot.(*Duke slips him an envelope). That should be enough.
Ref: Thanks.
Duke: See you out there.
*Alexa comes back in.
Alexa: I think that’s Victoria’s music. We better head out there.
Duke: Oh, s***! OK lets go.
____________________________ *We cut back to the ring, where Victoria is already in the ring. The referee comes running through the curtain, as “She is Beautiful” plays over the PA system. Alexa and Duke come out to the ring.
*With both women in the ring, the referee signals for the beginning of the match. Immediately after the bell rings, Alexa lays down on the ground, and screams “Pin Me!”. Victoria agrees, and goes for the cover.
1
*The referee makes a slow count.
2
*the referee looks with a panicked stare towards Duke, and reluctantly counts 3!
Ring Announcer: Here is your winner, Victoria!
*Alexa gets up immediently, and storms to the back, as Duke tries to chase after her, as he is obviously as confused as we are.
*Cut to Commercial.
_____________________________________
*We cut back to see Alexa open the door of her locker room, and almost slam it in Duke’s face, but he is able to catch it.
Duke: What the hell was that? What just happened?
Alexa: What happened out there? What’s been happening the past few weeks? Jo…Someone showed me the tapes of all those matches!
Duke: Well about that…
Alexa: Don’t try and justify it, as there is nothing you can say to make this right!
Duke: It was just a few matches.
Alexa: But you cheated me in the one thing we have most in common. You betrayed my trust, and if I have no trust, this relationship can’t work.
Duke: C’mon. We can work this out.
Alexa: No we can’t! We have no stability. Ever since I came on the road with you, its like you’re a different man. I barely know you anymore! You were supposed to be the man I was going to marry! Now…I can’t even wear this damn promise ring!
*She takes a ring off her finger and throws it at Duke.
Duke: Alexa…
Alexa: Don’t bother chasing after me, you can’t win this time. If you ever get you act together, you know where to find me. I’ll be in what was supposed to be our home, together.
*Alexa leaves. Duke throws his bag against his locker in a fit of anger, as Doe enters.
Doe: What was that all about?
Duke: Oh, I’m sure someone can…show you the tapes.
Doe: Hey what’s that supposed to mean?
Duke: If I find out you had anything to do with this, you’re…you’re, well, you don’t want to know.
*Duke pushes Doe down to the ground and leaves.
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Limey
Unicron
It's been awhile.
Posts: 3,062
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Post by Limey on Nov 3, 2007 4:31:57 GMT -5
*The familiar opening to Beethoven’s fifth blares over the Toomitron as Awesome Kong makes her entrance. The crowed are awed at her appearance as she leers over the EWT arena.*
Announcer: The following contest is a NO DISQUALIFICATIONS MATCH scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, now residing in Tokyo, Japan…AWESOME KONG!!!!
*Kong enters the ring, and struts confidently around, occasionally staring menacingly at the crowd.*
*”Round and Round” hits, and Carla O Woe makes her way out, decked in her stylish ring gear! She rushes to the ring, and slides in*
Announcer: Her opponent, from Rochester, New…
*Kong stops Carla in her tracks with some heavy stomping, picking Carla up by the hair and hitting a stiff backfist. Carla is stunned by this as Kong takes Carla’s entrance gear, pulling it over Carla’s head and choking her with it!!! Carla tries to fight back, but Kong keeps it applied! Kong then takes Carla…and hits a choke toss, throwing Carla to the other side of the ring!! Carla tries to lift herself up with the aid of the ropes…just as Awesome Kong dashes into her with an avalanche splash!!! Carla stumbles out…and is hit with a hip-toss!! Kong goes for the cover!*
1, 2…
*Carla gets the shoulder up! Kong leers at the ref before turning her attention back to Carla with some stomping…before exiting the ring…and getting a steel chair!!! There’s nothing that the ref can do about it as Kong enters the ring with the chair, lifting it high above her head…and bringing it down onto Carla’s back!!! Carla screams in pain as Kong lifts it again…Carla hits a droptoe hold from her prone position, sending Kong down onto the chair!!! Kong is momentarily shaken, but gets to her feet…Carla is up…and she hits an enziguri…Kong isn’t down!!! Carla runs the ropes before coming off with a leaping lariat…Kong catches her and lays her down with a powerslam!!! Kong then makes the “It’s OVER” sign, and takes Carla by the hair, lifting her up high for the sit-down powerbomb…Carla hits a hurricanrana!!! Kong is down as Carla gets slowly to her feet, running at Kong to hit a somersault leg drop!!! Carla hooks the leg!*
1, 2…
*Kong powers out, shoving Carla right off of her!!! Awesome Kong gets to her feet as Carla tries some forearms…but they’re all shrugged off by Awesome Kong!! Kong hits a bionic elbow to the top of the head of Carla, and then follows up with a short-arm clothesline!!! Kong reaches for the chair, lifting it high above her head…and bringing it right down again!!! Carla is in so much pain as Kong discards the chair, heading over to Carla…*
*IT’S MYSTERY!!! MYSTERY RUSHING DOWN TO RINGSIDE!!!! The masked one enters the ring, and spins Kong around, applying the Mandible Claw!!! Kong is taken back by this, and is being shoved by Mystery, apparantly helping out Carla!!! Kong taken backwards…right into a kneeling Carla, who trips Kong…and instinctively goes for the roll-up!!!*
1, 2, 3!!!
Winner: Carla O Woe!!!
*Kong, ashamed by this, slaps at the mat in frustration before leaving the ring in a rage. Carla gets to her feet, holding at her back…as Mystery extends her hand!!! Mystery wants to make amends with Carla, for the sake of Limey! Carla looks at the extended hand…and then back up at Mystery, demanding why she came in. Carla is unappreciative that Mystery interfered…and she slaps the hand away!!! Carla shouts abuse at Mystery, before leaving the ring, staring back at Mystery. Mystery sports some ambiguous body language…before exiting the ring, and leaving to the back through the crowd…*
*We cut to a commercial.*
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Post by SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman on Nov 3, 2007 9:48:33 GMT -5
*The camera fades into the image of a huge steel cage standing over the ring. It is easily recognizable, it is…* Off-screen voice : THE MEGADETH ! 66.6 tons of unforgiving steel ! *A shot of Chad and Bret Micheals staring at each other in the very first Megadeth is shown.* Off-screen voice : It has always been one of the most brutal type of matches in the history of the EWT… *A footage of Hmark smashing Heiden-Dörf against one of the walls of the cage. Off-screen voice : And has always given us great memories… *A shot of Bret Micheals retaining the Tri-state title, immediately followed by a shot of the Sunshine Squad winning the Tag-Team titles.* Off-screen voice : First it was four men… *Quick shots of Hoss Ninja, « Heartbreaker » Chad Micheals, Dörf and « Heartbreak Hitman » Bret Micheals.* Off-screen voice : Then it was three teams… *Quick shots of the Dörf world Order, Prophecy Reborn and the Sunshine Squad.* Off-screen voice : And now… it is back ! *Sweet Chin Muzac from Bret Micheals on Hoss Ninja.* Off-screen voice : And for the first time… *Prophecy Reborn hits the Double Jump Moosault on Heiden-Dörf.* Off-screen voice : It is SIX men, each one for himself… *Quick flashes of Indigo, Crauswell, Valentine, Mysth, Limey and Joe One. There’ s a pause on One for a few seconds.* Off-screen voice : And for the the first time… *Flashes of matches of all of these wrestler.* Off-screen voice : It is for the EWT Heavyweight Title. *Several seconds of a close-up on the EWT Heavyweight champion belt.* *As soon as the voice has finished this sentence, the screen shows footage of the achievements of the contenders for the upcoming Megadeth. One after another, they appear on screen and give their thoughts on the event, while flashes of their greatest moments are shown in the background, behind them.* Christopher Indigo : The Megadeth, the catalyst in BB's rise to power in EWT, the physical teachings of BB. Ownlife: Those who do not posess an alliance will be the first to fall. Freedom, singularity creates uncertainty, confusion, destruction. Only those who answer to BB will truly know and understand the future, and they know this: Victory for BB is not an event, not an occasion, it is an inevitability. The proles will upsub, whether they be sexcriminals such as Crauswell, thoughtcriminals suchs as Mysth, duckspeakers such as John "The Lion" Valentine, even oldthinkers such as Limey will understand this best after November 4. Crauswell : The Megadeth... one of the most sick, brutal, and demanding matches in the EWT. A match that I shall embrace, master, and conquer in one fell swoop. A match in which I will destroy my opponents and make them scream in helpless agony. A match in which I will break them down one by one, till I am standing alone at the top of their broken mountain of bodies. I go into this match as the biggest threat, because everybody knows what I'm capable of. Look at my accomplishments... Ox Division Champion, destroyed Rock Lee, Decimated Spyke Johanson, defeated the Celtic Giant Shane Malone clean, defended my OX Division title in a gauntlet match and asserted my supremacy and was the first to topple Minipax's own monster, the Midnight Mystery. I am the one to beat... I am the one that will walk out of this match as the EWT Champion and anybody who says otherwise is nothing more than a furry bashing fool! *It ends with a shot of Crauswell choking the everloving life out of said Mystery, as referees try and fail to pull him off, before we switch to John "The Lion" Valentine* JLV: For the third time the Megadeath will descend upon EWT wrestlers. For the third time bodies will be put to the test. But for the first time, EWT World gold is on the line and for the first time, I get to prove that I can run with the big boys. It’s an opportunity of a lifetime. It may feel like I scratched my Pick Six ticket and got this title shot but I will not disappoint. I will make this match my own starting this Sunday. Five other men are going to step into the Lion’s Den Sunday night. They all better pray to god he’ll save ‘em. ‘Cause when you’re in the Lion’s Den, no one can hear you scream. Mysth : Ever since it’ s creation, the Megadeth has been one of the most prestigious matches to which an EWT wrestler could possibly participate. Being in the Megadeth is an honor in itself, but it is an even greater honor to become the new Heavyweight champion in it. I am well aware that most of my opponents have already been champions, but now it is time for a new man to represent the greatest institution in the world of pro wrestling. Joe One and Christopher Indigo already cost me the Toolshed title once, I won’ t let them take the Heavyweight title frome me. I am one of the most popular wrestlers in the entire roster, I am EWT’ s best kept secret and at Survival of the fittest, the secret will be revealed. *After one last shot showing Mysth’ s victory over Ferhago Crow, Limey starts his own promo.* Limey: Joe...your days as champion are numbered. I've had my sights set on proving myself one more time, and nothing's going to get in the way of that! Mysth, John Valentine, Christopher Indigo, Crauswell, I have NOTHING against you guys, I'll gladly shake your hands after the match is over, but from the moment the bell rings until the moment it has rang for the fifth time and my final opponent lies at my feet as I stand over him...I'm not going to back down. Joe...this is what a true champion looks like, this is how a true champion fights!! And at Survival of the Fittest...LIFE will GIVE...YOU...LIMES!!! One: I have been in the Extreme WrestleCrap Threaderation for over a year, and I have yet to lose a match. The Megadeth, while being a challenge, will pose no major problem for me. I, the Nirvana of Violence, will once again demolish the competition, save for Mr. Indigo, who will do the right thing and lay down for me. Gloryvic to BB, gloryvic to the Party, and gloryvic to Minipax. Indigo : At Survival of the Fittest… Crauswell : I will become… Valentine : The new… Mysth : EWT… Limey : Heavyweight… Joe One : Champion. *After a shot of Joe One raising the belt, the off-screen voice restarts.* Off-screen voice : At Survival of the Fittest… *Aurora Bourealis by Dörf on Hoss Ninja.* Off-screen voice : The Megadeth comes back… *A 360° shot of the inside of the cage.* Off-screen voice : Stronger than ever… *Prophecy Reboron throws Smiley Sal head first into the Megadeth structure.* Off-screen voice : More dangerous than ever… *Bret Micheals falls from the top of the cage into a steel table.* Off-screen voice : Christopher Indigo, Crauswell, John « the lion » Valentine, Mysth, Limey… and the EWT Heavyweight champion, Joe One. *Again, a shot of each competitor appears as soon as the voice says their name.* Off-screen voice : In the end, only one man… will stand. *A triple split-screen shot with the Megadeth in the center, surrounded by Bret Micheals’ face on the left and both members of the Sunshine Squad on the right. Then, over a black background, the following message appears :* November 4th
Survival of the Fittest Main event : 6-man Megadeth
Joe One vs Christopher Indigo vs Crauswell vs John "the Lion" Valentine vs Mysth vs Limey
For the EWT Heavyweight title
Only on Pay-Per-View.
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Post by Tha Kid Joker on Nov 4, 2007 1:10:55 GMT -5
After returning from the commercial, the camera focuses in the ring--where a lone microphone lies on the mat. The screen settles on this still object for a few seconds, before cutting to the entrance ramp. The arena lights turn a goldish color as an airy tune plays from the sound system. This, being all too familiar, causes the fans to boo wildly. Following six or so seconds of this, the airy note spins into an intro that leaves the few fans who didn't know who was making an appearance tonight into a booing frenzy as well. The lights twirl as the intro plays, before "Square Dance" begins to play. From within the entrance ramp, slowly, Cassinova walks out into the single spotlight amongst the dark arena. Not stopping to bask in the loud chorus of boos and hisses, he walks right through the light and sulks down the ramp. He slowly climbs into the ring and stands over the microphone, stepping on it lightly with one foot. Shortly after, his music fades out and the lights return to normal. What is immediately noticed about Cass is that his hair is styled very... peculiar tonight. With a lot of it brushed towards the front of his head, it is all but impossible to see his face. Gazing down at the microphone, his frown is hardly visible. Cass takes a while to stare at it, before slowly bending and picking it up. He brings the microphone to his lips and brushes a small bit of the hair away with his hand, so his voice is audible.Cassinova: ( Voice shaky and cracking.) If... I can be serious for a moment... The crowd boos loudly at him, attempting to drown him out. Cassinova scowls and attempts to talk over them, albeit weakly.Cassinova: If I can be serious for a moment... The crowd boos even louder, and even stomp on the floor to create as much noise as possible to get Cass to stop talking. Cassinova grits his teeth and clenches his fists, before letting go of the tension and sighing...Cassinova: ...Make some noise if you love Satan... The clamor continues for about a half second, before there is a dramatic pause, and sudden silence.Cassinova: Thank you. Now, like I was saying... I have a bit of... unfortunate news for all of the people who looked forward to seeing me on Sunday... The audience is still silent. These people do not love Satan.Cassinova: Yes, I know you are all very concerned, and you should be. Hell, if not for my immense mental capacity and deeper understanding of pseudo-psychological stressors and the ways in which they create chaotic atmospheres that the human mind spectrum can not function in efficiently, if at all... I'd've went all " loco" and s***. There is a slight murmur among the very confused audience members, but they quiet down to hear what more the obviously troubled Ox-Division champion has to say.Cassinova: I've managed to keep my sanity in these last few days. I've suffered through many personal losses in my life, but this is by far the biggest... and, I... ( He has to stop for a second as he becomes too choked up. The crowd boos slightly, suspecting that these emotions aren't genuine. Hearing the boos, Cass looks up.) Oh, I'm sorry, did someone just confess their love of the Lucifer? The crowd gives him silence.Cassinova: Didn't think so. But, yes... sadly... ( He takes in a deep breath and tries to choke back the tears.) ...I am too deeply hurt by my loss to compete at Survival of the Fittest. Therefore... Before he has a chance to say anything further, he is drowned out with vicious boos. The audience, outraged that he would pull out of his match in such a cowardly fashion, don't want to hear another word. Cass' voice regains its strength, and he begins to yell over them.Cassinova: Oh, what do you people know about personal loss?! "Ohhh... my dad died!" "Boo-hoo, the homeless shelter in which I live in burned down!" "Aw fiddlesticks, I just witnessed the violent rape of my fiance!" Cry me a river, build a bridge, and get over it! What about me?! What about Cassinova?! Look at me! He brushes back his hair so that his visage can finally be seen. It comes as a shock to most to see a long, deep scar running down the right side of his face. Many are entertained to notice that Cass looks like a real-life version of that Siegfried guy from Soul Calibur. It's 24/7 cosplay! Cass does not seem to share the amusement, and he seethes with an anger unlike he's ever felt before.Cassinova: How do you people expect me to perform like this?! That counterculture slut Synthy Eris tore an entire piece of my flesh off! This is permenant! Permenant! He drops the microphone and places his hands to the sides of his head in frustration and anger. He thinks about living the rest of his life with a facial deformity, and almost has a nervous breakdown. Normally, he ignores the crowds loud boos towards him, but they aren't exactly helping the situation. He squeezes his ears and shakes his head, attempting to keep from hearing the malicious crowd, but can't get the sound out of his head. Ear-drums pulsing, he drops to his knees and growls loudly, growing more distressed by the second. Finally, when he looks like he's at his breaking point...
Filter’s “Welcome to the Fold” booms over the PA system as none other than TJT step out onto the stage, Thunder and Jupiter in their ever-so familiar jeans and polos (and of course, the trenchcoats), and Terina keeping in her usual fashionable garb consisting of a denim skirt and embroidered t-shirt as they rather hurriedly make their way down to the ring. While the fans erupt into boos, none of them hardly seem to care one bit. Each one of them happens to be carrying a microphone. As soon as they reach the ring, Thunder and Jupiter slide in—Terina close behind them—as they rush up to Cassinova and their music breaks off.Thunder: Whooooawhoawhoawhoa! This is most certainly NOT what matches the paramount of perfection. Terina: …this is just sad. Jupiter: Ahem. Cass, my friend... ( He rests an arm on Cass’s shoulder, the Ox-Division champion simply looking down at it in a downcast fashion.) ...you sir, you need to shape up. So, you say you’ve been scarred for life. Cassinova: Don’t…remind…me. You think I want to keep thinking about THIS? ( He points to his face, a tear running down from his left eye as his voice cracks again.) THIS? THIS? My perfect looks have been completely ruined! I’ve been ruined! He nearly bursts into tears, his face turning blood red.Jupiter: No, no you haven’t. Terina: Yeah. Let er…Doctor Jupiter…let you in on a few secrets. *she assuringly smiles* Jupiter: You see, as a scientist in my own right, I think you’d like to know that what you have is…NOT…permanent. Cassinova suddenly seems to look puzzled now as well.Thunder: Cha, hardly anything if you ask me. I’ve seen guys get torn apart limb from limb and come back in nearly perfect shape. Cassinova: But…how?! Look at how deep this is! It’s like part of my entire soul has been torn from me! Jupiter: Hah. What you fail to realize, is that all parts of the human body naturally heal. You Cassinova, you suffered a mere flesh wound. When that hideous, transsexual monstrosity slashed you with that pathetic little thumbtack of hers, she made the mistake of going after a non-muscular area of your face. Most facial muscles are concentrated in the jaw. If she had done that, she could’ve given you a cleft palette, which is also known as a hair lip. Ahem. Cassinova: Wait…what? Jupiter: Yes, it’s more of a semi-permanent wound. You don’t mind that thing staying on your face for say, a month, do you? Cassinova: A…MONTH?! Once again, Cassinova almost breaks down, his face turning blood red again and a frown covering his face once more.Jupiter: It’s really no problem from a medical standpoint. That kind of injury is extremely minor. You know how a papercut goes away in mere days? Cass nods ever so slowly.Jupiter: Yes, well, it’s not a papercut, but--( He drops his shades and closely examines the dark red wound.)--it didn’t get down to the bone, and your dermic layers should heal alright. One thing I recommend, however— Cassinova: What…? Jupiter: Use a medical ointment and disinfectant and that injury will be nearly impossible to see again. You sir, will look beautiful. And I’m saying that in the damndest heterosexual manner of which I possibly can! He smiles and nods, the crowd booing at this revelation, but then Jason goes serious once more.Terina: But you know what? Don’t let that downtime ruin you. We know success. After all, Jimmy and Jason--( She points backwards to her two larger partners in crime.)--are EWT World Tag Team Champions. We’re also some of the wealthiest people you’ll find in this horrible, Godforsaken business. More audience members boo, but all the four in the ring ignore them as though nothing is happening except for that around them; like they are the center of the Universe.Thunder: Yeah brother, you gotta take advantage of this. This is your own personal turning point! Cassinova: I’m…not sure what you mean… Terina: Quite frankly, it means that you need to step things up. Thunder: The world belongs to people like us. Terina: In fact, we’ve proven that we can rule this business too! And so have you. That title, that Ox-Division Championship, is one of the single most prestigious belts in ALL of EWT, do you know that? Cassinova slowly nods, and yet despite all of this he still hardly seems any happier.Terina: Take advantage of this period. Show to everyone here… With one hand, she makes a waving motion around the audience, as they look on.Terina: …what you, Cassinova, EWT Ox-Division Champion and without a doubt a true god of wrestling… …are capable of. Jupiter: Synthy Eris made an attempt on your SOUL. Are you going to give her that feeling of victory? Are you going to make that pecan-brained cretin revel in her moment of triumph over you? Are you, Cassinova, a true champion and a man that has put more women to bed than game copies of Halo 3 have been sold…are you going to lose to what even YOU called a counterculture slut? Are you? Are YOU going to give her that chance? Cassinova: ...Hell no I'm not giving her that chance! I've tamed bigger bitches than Synthy Eris, and if she thinks she's going to get a title shot after doing what she did to me, she's dreaming! Jupiter: Exactly. Don't even bother with her. She's not worth your time. Thunder: Someone can do anything they want to, but you proved to her how immature she was. She failed. She failed on an epic scale. Just like the New Orleans Saints have this year. ( He looks back, winking into the camera.) Terina: I don't think you should give her the shot, Cass. You showed her. You told her she was nothing but spiteful and immature. And SHE herself proved it. Don't let her distract you. Don't let her waste your time. Revenge? Maybe. But this isn't the time. Get her when it means the most to her. Cassinova: Hm... how about late at night when she's watching Showtime? You know, make her miss "The L Word." That should screw with her head... He looks vaguely confused as he speaks, obviously missing the point of this little intervention.Terina: No, no. Cassidy, you're thinking too small here. Something that would ruin her. Jupiter: Forever. Something horrible. Terrible. Abominable. What about that championship she loves so much? Terina: Which is STILL rightfully mine! Jupiter: What if you just happened to be on a drinking binge, and you just happen to stagger into the ring, and the referee just happens to have his back turned, and you just happen to be angry, and you JUST happen to have tiger claws of your own? And, instead of scratching her, you JUST happen to rip into her bone, making her face bleed like a stuck pig and permanently puncturing her skull? Cassinova: I... think... I should not have bought you three that "Masters of Horror" DVD box set. I think we all need to stick to the point here. She is not deserving of a title shot! Hell, the greedy bitch already has a title! As much as I want to humiliate her on Sunday, there are so many other better people I could be humiliating! I have a long list of people to humiliate, and right now, I'm afraid I have to push her to the back. I mean, let's name all of the people that deserve an Ox-Division title shot. You have... erm... uh... He leans to one side and thinks really hard about it.Cassinova: Oh! You have... no, he's dead... Thunder: ( Thinks.) No, he has a permanent hernia... Jupiter: ( Thinks.) No, tried to have sex with--I mean, whoa-ho, can't say that one on TV. Cassinova: ( Staring at Jupiter.) Wow... thanks, alcohol! But, no... Wow. I seriously can't think of a single person who truly deserves a shot at the title. How about... hey! Idea! All three of TJT look confused, but interested.Cassinova: Mhm! ( He turns to the entrance ramp, pointing towards the backstage.) College interns in the trailers, steal some pictures off of Google Image Search and pull them up! I want to see whoever you all believe are the top five potential threats to my Ox-Division title! There's a long pause as he waits for this to happen, in the meantime, he leans on the ropes closest to the ramp, staring at the screen impatiently. Thunder, Jupiter and Terina crowd not too far behind him, Thunder pulling out some form of legally-ambigious cigar and lighting it up in the middle of the ring. Cassinova turns around and prepares to tell him that the cigar can not possibly be good for his health, but is interrupted by the screen illuminating with a large white "5." The five glows, and Cass marvels at the interns' fantastic Flash skillz. After a while of glowing, the five is replaced by a large promo shot of Moxie. The screen cuts back to Cass, as the crowd gives a tremendous roar of approval. Chants of "We want Moxie!" fill the arena, as Cass looks distressed, as if he wasn't prepared for this.Cassinova: ...Move on, please... The photo of Moxie fades out, and a large "4" pops up. This time, the number is blue. It remains on the screen for a while, before turning into a black-and-white photo of Chad Michaels. He too receives a loud pop, but Cass looks genuinely confused at the identity of this mystery man on the screen.Cassinova: Uh... okay. I have no prepared sarcasm for this obviously sexually-confused man, as I have no idea who he is. The "interns", realizing he would not remember Michaels, fade in some words under his picture:"Chad Michaels"Taking no one by surprise, Cass is still confused.Cassinova: Uhm... "Superkick"Cassinova: Oh! Chad Michaels! I remember that guy! I decimated that guy! Oh, geez... me face him again? Well, that'd just be bloody torture to everyone! I would never... ever give this drunken loser the pleasure of stepping in the ring with me again. All that does is waste my time and bring my name value down. In fact, you know what? Cass places the microphone on the turnbuckle and pats his pockets, reaching into them for a while before pulling out a small slip of paper. He smirks and kisses the paper, before grabbing the microphone and heading back to the center of the ring.Thunder: Uh...oh...Cassinova's armed with the power~! Cassinova: Ah, let's see what we have here. ( He slowly unfolds and unrolls the slip of paper, revealing it to be a long, scroll-like papyrus.) I never leave home without it, folks. What I have here is the official, the only, the legendary... "Cassinova's List of Stuff He'd Rather Do Than Face Chad Michaels" He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a pair of reading glasses. Slipping them on, he tosses same hair back and begins to read.Cassinova: Number one! Learn to play the clarinet! Number two! Watch nothing but "The N" for three weeks straight! Number three! Listen to screamo! Number four! Masturbate with broken glass! Number five... Jupiter: ( Under his breath to Terina) Hmmm...this is about as funny as "Dharma and Greg..." Fade to commercial.
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Post by Tha Kid Joker on Nov 4, 2007 1:11:16 GMT -5
Cassinova: Number three hundred and seventy-eight! French kiss a cactus! Number three hundred and seventy-nine! Admit my inferiority to the fine musical stylings of Soulja Boy! Number three hundred and eighty! Die! Number three hundred and eighty-one! Allow my blind great-grandfather to give me a vasectomy with his bare gums! ...He's also dead, people! ...Volume Two! He prepares to pull out another scroll, but TJT--who have been basically rendered unconscious since he started reading--suddenly come to life and jump at him yelling, "No!" Cassinova blinks at them, and smiles slightly.Cassinova: Okay, okay, fine. Maybe another day. ( He folds the paper up and puts it away.) Anyway... next! Terina: Thank God! Cassinova turns around at her, a bit confusedTerina: I mean...thank God...that we're with you! The screen fades out of Chad Michaels pictures and fades into a large "3." This three is a burning fuchsia color. Cassinova buries his face in his hands, murmuring "Jesus Christ..." before looking up, to see a bright picture of Synthy Eris staring right back at him. There are cat calls in the audience, but Cassinova will have none of it.Cassinova: Oh, nuh-uh! Don't give me that! This manly chick shouldn't get any love around here! Hell, most guys would probably rather have sex with me than her! He whips around to TJT in a craze, yelling out "RIGHT?!" This startles them, and they jump slightly and comedically. He repeats himself soon after, to the same effects.
...Thunder: RIGHT! Jupiter: Ehh...uh...I guess... Terina: ( immediately.) I'D HAVE SEX WITH YOU...er...I mean....ummm...better you than her! Thunder and Jupiter agree in a murmur.Cassinova: ( Spinning back towards the entrance ramp, talking to the screen as if it's actually Synthy.) You see! I told you! And, and, and... are you serious? Synthy Eris? A threat? She's even less of a threat than that Michaels fellow! Hell, why are they even considered in my league? Just because they have a combination of seven bronze medals in the "Special" division of the bi-annual Mid-Atlantic Pete Wentz self-mutilation invitational doesn't mean they should be handed title shots left and right. And come on, Synthy's easy to please. Just give the bitch a doggy biscuit and some Nazi paraphernalia and she'll be content. Next! The screen fades into a grey "2", before turning into a picture of Spectre. The crowd gives a mixed reaction for him, and Cassinova scratches the side of his head.Cassinova: Eh, I don't know much about this guy, other than the fact that he creeps me right the f*** out. They give pedos jobs now? My guy looks like he just came out of a comic book, and yet I hear some lames' shouts of "Spectre for World Champion!" Oh, please. More like, "Spectre for Child Porn Collector of the Year!" The screen fades into a big, white "1", the crowd abuzz.Cassinova: And the BIGGEST threat to my Ox-Division title reign iiisss.... TJT all go sorta palish, despite their dark tans, and but Cassinova maintains his cool. The crowd is abuzz, and in awe. Suddenly the screen shows the #1 threat:Cassinova: Jack Jupiter?Silvertide's "Ain't Coming Home" breaks out onto the speakers in roaring volume as Jack Jupiter, dressed in one of the priciest looking, most badass leather trenchcoats--like those of Thunder and Jupiter, just better--gleaming shades, his hair a'la Edge circa 2002 and his abs just as toned...steps out.
Everyone in the ring experiences a jaw drop, frozen in catatonic states.
Thunder's cigar falls straight out of his mouth.
Jupiter's sunglasses collapse from his face.
Terina's flowing hair goes limp.
Cassidy looks as though his soul has flown out of his body mid-thought.
Microphone in hand, Jack Jupiter lifts the stick to his face, spitting out a piece of mint gum as his music fades.Jack: You know what, Cassinova? I don't care if you're my ally. After a much needed vacation, I, the REAL Jack Jupiter, HAVE RETURNED TO EWT, FULL FORCE! Behold, the greatest looking man in EWT! Behold the greatness about you! Behold, that Ox-Dvision Championship slipping from your grasp as you speak, and reaching my mantel. Everyone in the ring is still in shock.Cassinova: ....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! There's no way you're the REAL top threat, are you?! Jack: Maybe I am! Over the PA system, a voice from one of the guys in the back simply states, loudly and clearly:"NOOO." The crowd erupts into laughter.Jack: Awww... Jack's sunglasses shatter, his trenchcoat tears itself into pieces, his greasy hair goes dry, and his abs sag from ripped, to meh.Cassinova: It's no problem, Jack. I mean, everyone wants this title and they'd sell their souls just to get their hands on me. I don't hate you...just come in here, now! I'm still your employer, you know! And after this--( Pointing to the scar/)--I hate to admit it, but maybe your protection is valuable. Jack shrugs, slinking down the ramp and sliding into the ring, taking his place by Cassinova's side as his three other comrades shake hands with him. Well, besides Jason at least. Cass turns to converse with TJT, as slowly, quietly, yet fiercely... a fiery red "1" slowly fades upon the screen. The fans buzz excitedly, and give a thunderous roar as the number turns into a photo. TJT and Jack Jupiter all notice the photo on the screen, and frown before telling Cassinova to turn around. Cass raises an eyebrow and does so swiftly, before being taken by surprise at the image he sees:Cassinova: Woah, woah, woah... there must be some mistake... Juri, a competitor for my title? Come on, let's be serious. I don't want to someday tell Juri and I's first-born son about the time I gave his mother a DDT in the middle of the ring and pinned her. This is just... no. Me and Juri? No. I... haven't even seen Juri for quite some time, and I still love her with all my heart. One day I hope to prove that to her... but yeah, no dice on the "Let's watch Cassinova and Juri Sadamoto destroy each other" thing. I'm still waiting for the day we'll be together in loving peace, not engaged in warfare. Infact, I... think we're about done here, correct? He looks around at his colleagues, who all nod in agreement. The crowd boos loudly at them all, wondering if this was worth their time at all.Cassinova: Correct. Now, I've successfully proven that no one is worthy of challenging for this title... so, I think I'll make my leave. I have another flight to catch. Kiss the rings, bitches. I'm ghos... Before anything more can be said, the familiar sound of Anna Tsuchiya blares through the sound system. A sizable cheer rises from the booing stands yet quells itself in confusion. It isn't the fact that the Broken Rose of EWT entering from the ramp that has them befuddled. Rather it is her attire... A full bodied pink robe and an playful smirk. And what's more concerning, she's not walking normally... Instead, she's sashaying her hips side to side as she walks down the ramp. Halfway down the ramp, she raises her hand to her mouth as a stage crew member offers her a live mic. She rests her playful stare upon Cass while holding her Geisha-like position. She quickly comes to a halt as the hand to her mouth begins to fan her near her exposed neck. With a slight pause she raises the mic to her mouth.Juri: Um... Forgive me for interrupting, Clearwater-kun... Various gaping stares are placed upon the Japanese redhead.Juri: I've been so stupid... Baka Juri! ( She lifts a fist and softly lowers it on her head.) All this time you've tried to show me the truth... That you loved me with all your heart... Yet Baka Juri didn't let it set in. She didn't see it. She wanted to be her own person. But you still tried to show her! You made her wear dresses... You showed her that she was pretty! You even took her to Europe... But she ruined it all! BAKA JURI! She drops another fist and begins to step, slowly, closer to the ring. Cass, seeing this, looks to be pleasantly surprised. He thanks any and whatever God there is for allowing Juri to finally realize that everything he's done so far has been for her... and feeling the need to be alone (among some +60,000 fans...), he politely turns and asks TJT to warm up the limousine. They look from Juri to Cass, then back to Juri, and back to Cass... before shrugging slightly and patting him on the back as the exit the ring. Terina looks Juri over as she departs, and the three EWT stars head up the ramp and disappear to the back, leaving Cassinova and Juri "alone." Cass' heart beats faster as Juri gets closer. He hangs onto every word, tense and eager.Juri: So... you decided to convince her through the only way she knew... The way of the warrior. And... Something finally clicked in Juri's head! She knows that you will never stop your quest to win her heart... Soooo.... She pulls herself up on the apron.Juri: I've thought it overly clearly... And... I've seen the light... ( Gathering an overly stereotypical Asian bimbo accent.) Cassidy, come here... I have something to give you for all of your hard work... She motions playfully for him to come closer to much crowd booing. Cass seems to still berather shocked by the sudden change of heart.Juri: ( Whining.) Come on... Sweetie... I'm waiting... I burn for you... I can't wait to be on my knees for you... She stops, as the boos reach a fever pitch, and offers her lips to Cass. He steps closer, licking his own lips for a second while surveying hers with lustful eyes. Finally getting close enough to kiss, and amongst defeaning boos from the audience, he closes his eyes and slowly leans to lock lips with the one he loves.
Just before he can touch those ruby red painted lips, she opens an eye seeing his eyes closed.Juri: No no no! Eyes open! As he opens his eyes, he sees his angel's arms crossed in front of her chest, her thumbs rubbing the sides of her neck as if working up something from her throat. He steps forth with a classic look of Cassinova confusion, and as he does, Juri rears back and sprays his face with a red liquid! The crowd's intense boos turn to glass-shattering cheers as Cassinova stumbles backwards into the ring. He holds his face and yells out as his eyes burn like they've been maced. He falls to the mat, screaming out and trying to see through the blurriness of his vision.
As Cass blindly stares toward her, Juri opens her mouth to show a blood red grin.Juri: You've ruined my life, Cass, and I was thinking the best way to get back at you... I can't break your heart, as you're too obsessed with me to realize that it will never happen. But, I can hurt you another way... Hurt your very core... I'm going to smack you down from your pedestal! As I said... I have something to give you for all of your hard work.... A match at the Survival of the Fittest... My contract versus... YOUR TITLE! The crowd cheers even louder as an Ox-Division title match has finally been placed for Survival of the Fittest. Cassinova, blind, pained, and tired, lays back on the mat and stares up at the ceiling. His mind races, and as he stares he continues to hear Juri's voice in his ears.Juri: And just to clear things up for your thick head... I burn for your blood! I can't wait to be on my knees for you, as I bury them into your skull with my TIMFA! And... I WILL TAKE YOUR TITLE! She hops off of the apron as "Rose" plays in the background. Dropping the microphone, Juri heads back up the ramp and towards the back. She turns and looks at Cassinova one last time, seeing him wipe some of the Blood Red Mist off of his face and start to make it to his feet. Cass, unable to stand all the way up, sits on his knees and leans on the middle rope closest to the ramp, glaring out with blurry vision at a smiling and content Juri Sadamoto.Fade to commercial.
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TJT
AC Slater
It's fun to be perfect.
Posts: 109
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Post by TJT on Nov 4, 2007 1:41:08 GMT -5
*The camera focuses backstage to an unfamiliar set. There are three table-like podiums, each with two nearby stools behind them. Each stool, sitting beside a well crafted, wooden table, has a well-stitched, purple leather seat cushion and four wide, oak legs supporting the high-set seat. Panning around, it becomes obvious by the luxurious, palace-like set, that this belongs to someone EXTREMELY wealthy. The camera turns around, revealing huge audience stands, many crowd members staring into the camera and yelling incoherent drivel. Panning around these, vast amounts of lighting, audio and camera equipment can be witnessed.*
*Suddenly, Filter’s “Welcome to the Fold” begins to blare over a wide array of speakers. Some fans begin to boo, and many more, genuinely interested in where this insanity is going, start to cheer. The camera pans back to a side panel. Out of a massive door, just having swung open, step the three of TJT. Thunder and Jupiter, in jet black suits with white shirts, and neckties (blue for Thunder and gold for Jupiter) perfectly fashioned around their necks—and the brilliantly polished EWT World Tag Team Titles--step out with Terina (clad in a brilliant, ruby-red dress, heels and gloves) between them. Stepping as though they’ve rehearsed this for months, their teeth brilliant white as they smile, approach a table close to the audience. Three absolutely glorious red leather chairs, padded as though for royalty, are behind this large table, three microphones spread perfectly for whoever is in a chair to speak and their words be heard loudly…and clearly. Upon reaching the table, the three of TJT each sit down.*
Thunder: *clears throat* LADIES AND GENTLEMEN…
Jupiter: Ahem…COMMONERS, OF THE WORLD…
Terina: This is the GREATEST Tag Team in EWT, presenting to you…the very first edition of the aptly—and oddly—named…T…J…
Thunder: TRIIII-VEEEEEEEE—AAAAAAAAAH!
*Their music dies down, and the crowd goes abuzz.*
Jupiter: We decided to phone every team in EWT and provide a huge offer. Three teams were lucky—and, if they DO face us, unlucky—enough to sign aboard this brand-new venture. Due to the early debacle of the Tag Gauntlet not happening, due to a certain team…that will—
Thunder: NOT…
Jupiter: --be named and burned to a proverbial crisp, we have decided to organize THIS and let that be! My brilliant idea, at that! Go figure. In any case, we have three contestant teams. What did they sign up for? We’ll find out, as soon as they arrive! And now for the –lovely- Terina to introduce just who happened to reply in time.
Terina: Introducing first…Team Ireland!
*"I'm Shipping Up To Boston" indicating the arrival of Team Ireland. With them, as always, is Coach O'Hare... why he's accompanying Sean & Aidan to a game show is beyond me, but there ya have it. O'Hare waves his usual Tricolour wrapped hurley & is clad in his usual attire of leather jacket, Team Ireland shirt, flat cap & jeans. Aidan is also clad in a Team Ireland shirt & jeans. Sean wears an unbuttoned white shirt, designer jeans & sunglasses. He lowers his shades a bit & winks at Terina who looks away in disgust. O'Hare whispers to Aidan & Sean before taking a seat in the front row of the audience.*
Aidan: Which show is this again? Is this the "Survey says..." one or where you have to answer in the form of a question?
Sean: Nah, I think it's the one where you're voted off if you're the worst player.
Aidan: Then where's that wizened old ginger bitch?
*O'Hare comes dashing back over to them.*
O'Hare: Erm... What they meant to say is: "YOU WILL NEVER BEAT THE IRISH!"
*[O'Hare slaps both Aidan & Sean on the back of the head in a moment reminiscent of the Three Stooges before returning to his seat.*
Terina: Ahem…well then…introducing secondly…The Guardinals!
*Jupiter pulls out a cassete player that plays the original Land of Confusion, by Genesis, and the fans start cheering as John "The Lion" Valentine, with his misses Amnestria on his arm, and Andy "The Eagle" Davidson, carrying his weapon of choice the snooker cue, appear from the large doors and look like fish out of water. As The Gaurdinals get "greeted" by the hostial tag champs, Davidson grins, whispers something in Valentine's ear which the grin of Davidson infects him too. Davidson steps up to the podium which the cassete player is on and swings the cue knocking the player into the crowd*
Jupiter: Hey, what do you think you’re doing?!
Davidson: You can pay for this set; you can play for a new stereo!
Terina: AHEM, so "Gaurdinals," if that is your real name, tell us something about you two…
Valentine: He's Andy Davidson, I'm John Valentine and she is Amnestria...
Davidson: Two different continents, one big idea...
Amnestria: And that is to become the EWT Tag Team Champions.
*A awkward silence occurs and then TJT burst out in laughter*
Thunder: Good Luck with that.
Terina: Well, we’ll see….and last but not least…Team Raft-Shack!
*The sounds of Apache pump out of the Toomitron as the lights lower, spotlights circling around the arena, lasers shooting off everywhere, and finally a puff of smoke shooting up near the top of the rampway, as the duo that is Raft Shack steps out, both of them looking quite... well,expectedly dressed. Zeleke is wearing a fez atop his head, a monocle, a leather biker's jacket, a pair of overalls, and some rubber boots, Faboon meanwhile wearing a rainbow wig, a plaid vest, a pair of briefs, and some sandals. Almost everybody in the ring gives an unsurprised look at these two's "fashion statements" as they both cackle, waltzing down towards the ring, They both quickly flip into the ring, both landing on their stomach, as they quickly flip back again to their feet, then handstand walking over to the team of TJT, before getting to their feet again. Zeleke reaches into his overall pocket, pulling out a piece of cake, quickly devouring it before everyone's eyes, getting some on the hosts, mainly Terina. The two take their places at their podium before their music fades out.*
Faboon: Beholdest aboutist, this is the chance of chances to win the chance to challenge for the tag titles, what a chance it could present for our almighty assimilation into excellitude!
*Jupiter’s brain nearly melts.*
Zeleke: Perhaps you are correct, this there now unfolds the story on the two that challenged the mouse that roared a lion’s tale of championship! Or otherwise?
Faboon: Otherwise what be it?
Jupiter: Ahem!
Zeleke: That I—
Jupiter: AHEM!
Faboon: Poor creature, cursed with inflammitorium diseases of the lungs, producing the sweet syrup and nectar of breath!
Jupiter: Whatever! And so, now that the teams have all spoken their piece…or peace…or whatever YOU want to call it, let’s take a look at the categories!
*The camera pans to a wall with 3 small screens above rows of covered squares 5 squares thick*
Thunder: Whose Move? If You TJT It, They Will Come! Real-Life Info Everyone Knows! And…Random crap! And remember…every question is worth 100 points!
*canned applause*
Terina: And we start the game with Real-Life Info Everyone Knows!
Jupiter: Question 1: What is your name? *BUZZ!* Aidan: Aidan! Yeah!
Jupiter: Ding ding, 100 points for T.I!
Jupiter: Question 2: Is a grape a fruit or a kind of cheese?
*BUZZ!*
Zeleke: Tricking us... of how silliful of you mongoosers. The humble grapling is simply a product of the mold family!
Jupiter: WRONG!
*BUZZ!*
John Valentine: Ooh, I love wine; there a fruit!
Jupiter: 100 for Guardinals!
Jupiter: Question 3: The second month of the year is….
*BUZZ!*
Davidson: February!
Jupiter: 200 for Guardinals!
Thunder: Question 4: Which of these isn’t a state in the United States? Maryland or Italy?
*BUZZ!*
Sean: Maryland.
Aidan: He said "ISN'T" ya plank!
Sean: But, come on, "Maryland"? It sounds so made up!
Thunder: Wrong, wrong, wrong wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong wrong. You’re wrong…you’re wroooong…you’re wrooooooooong….
Jupiter: WRONG!
*BUZZ!*
Davidson: I love Italy beautiful place, it's Italy.
Thunder: 300 for Guardinals!
Jupiter: Question 5: Apple deals in which of the following as a MAIN Industry—cocaine-based toiler paper or electronics?
*Sean presse the buzzer but Aidan answers while giving Sean a "How dumb are you?" glare*
Aidan: Electronics.
Jupiter: 200 points for Team Ireland!
Thunder: Next Category! What is ZEES? Oh yes, Whose Move is it?
Terina: This finisher in EWT is a Sitout Inverted Powerbomb executed by a certain man weighing over 300 pounds. Who does it?
*BUZZ!*
Davidson: Guess at Mr Bad.
Terina: Incorrect!
Terina: This finisher in EWT is a Sitout Inverted Powerbomb executed by a certain man weighing over 300 pounds. Who does it?
*BUZZ!*
Aidan: Former Toolshed Champion, Voltigeur!
Terina: 300 points for Team Ireland!
Thunder: Some guy decided he thought it’d be funny to do a throat first flapjack onto the top rope, followed by a school boy pin. Who does it?
Zeleke: Oh you stupid seagull... everyone has the knowledge of the answer being one Les E Biase
Thunder: Wrong.
*BUZZ!*
*O'Hare yells from his seat in the crowd.*
O'Hare: It's that Comedian Arsehole! I'm not on steroids! I'M NOT!
Thunder: Can we accept that as an answer?
*DING!*
Thunder: 400 points for Team Ireland!
Thunder: A certain fellow who held a title THAT IS OURS NOW!!!!—does this crazy-ass move where he executes a turnbuckle front-flip Powerbomb. Who’s this guy?
*BUZZ!*
Sean: "In sex, is Sydal" Blandy Puke!
Thunder: …I love you…er I mean…500 POINTS FOR TEAM IRELAND!
Jupiter: The type of guy that can do this move is in SHORT order…heheheheh. He performs an F5…from the top rope. Fantastic, if I do say so myself. Who is he?
Zeleke: I am pondering this... and I have decided upon the answer of the imcomparable Joan Tolo!!!
Jupiter: WRONG!
*BUZZ!*
Davidson: Curley Feckin' Long.
Jupiter: 400 for Guardinals!
Terina: This move is doubly-vicious, and it rhymes with “glomp.”
…
Do I have to say this terrible pun? No clowning around, it is—
Faboon: Ah, a simple delightful query. I know in my heartland the answer is Clo...
Zeleke: *interrupting* Of course! I should've known this... it's alumni of the EWT, the baked good known simpfully as... Flex MAGNIFICENT'S Flex Capacitator!!!
Terina: WHO?
*BUZZ!*
*Aidan looks to be embarassed even answering the question.*
Aidan: The... *ugh* Bwomp! Clown Girl's finisher.
Terina: Correct, and 600 for Team Ireland!
Thunder: Roooooooosebud….er…If you TJT It, They Will Come. No really, someone “came” to us before. People LOVED what we did for that little kid Lawrence Kilumanjaaro over there in Southern Uganda, what with us donating him a new hat and everything. Anyway, these questions are all about TJT.
Thunder: What is the Team’s Logo and Symbol that appears on our gear?
*BUZZ!*
Valentine: A pair of buttocks with "inside here boys" at the logo.
Thunder: You disgust me.
Zeleke: If I were to be correct... I surmise it is a cake frosting upon an antelope!!!
Thunder: *face-palms*
*BUZZ!*
Sean: Those big Egypti...
*Aidan leans in to answer.*
Aidan: Ankhs that vary depending upon the colour of the outfit they appear on.
*He slaps Sean on the back of the head.*
Thunder: THANK YOU. 700 for Team Ireland.
Terina: Jim used to drive a _____ to the stage with us inside, where we would get out and continue our entrance. What was it?
*BUZZ!*
Davidson: A mechanical bull.
Terina: …no.
*BUZZ!*
Sean: A car...
*Aidan facepalms*
Aidan: A Jaguar, you idiot!
Terina: YES! 800 for Team Ireland.
Jupiter: My EXTREMELY pesky and immature cousin follows us around and offers scattered help. Who is he?
*BUZZ!*
Zeleke: Jack Jupiter.
…
Jupiter: What the--?! Damn! You got it. 100 points for Raft-Shack it is!
Terina: What Pay Per View did my team capture their EWT World Tag Team Championships at?
Aidan: What was that one we were supposed to have a match at but didn't?
Sean: [thinks] OLD SCHOOL!
*BUZZ!*
Aidan: Old School! Terina: 900 for Team Ireland!
Thunder: One thing about TJT is our unpinned streak. Never has this team lost a team match by pinfall. What else haven’t we been beaten by?
Davidson:Death...
Valentine: AIDS..
Davidson: Micheal Jackson and his "Jesus Juice"
Valentine: Do we need to go on?
Thunder: I’m not even discussing this one, for sake of kids in the audience! 500 for Guardinals. And now, for the category known as Random Crap. What is it? Buzz when I say “GO!” and you’ll see.
…
GO!
*BUZZ! From Raft-Shack*
Thunder: And your task is…*the camera shifts over to a ping pong table, a man playing against the wall*…Playing ping pong with national Cantonese champion, Xiao Ming Chuan.
*Faboon steps forward, to accept this challenge. He quickly scoops up two paddles in each hand, looking on with fury, or perhaps confusion, as he charges over at the ping pong table set up nearby. The champion tosses up a ball and hits it hard, Faboon not even bother to hit it back, a big grin on his face as he nods satisfyingly. After a few more easy points, he raises his hands in triumph, shaking them before the hosts, who just stare.*
Jupiter: You do realize you're supposed to HIT the balls...
Faboon: Idiocy! Pure unfilterated nincompoopilation!!! The true masters have the knowledge that in the Pong of Ping... hitting the roundish being is blasphemy!!!
Terina: Uh…huh. No points.
Faboon: Moleys of the Holy! victory is quite achieved now!
TJT: ...
…
Thunder: GO!
*BUZZ! From Raft-Shack*
Terina: Your challenge…*the camera pans over to a blackbelt*…Defeating a judo master in 30 seconds.
*Zeleke steps up to the Judo Master, who watches, with a confused look on their face. The pink haired fool charges, then rolls underneath the judo master's legs, who just watches utterly confused. He then pops up behind and does some sort of stupid dance, then slumping to the mat after a single quick kick, as they turn around, dealing with the fool quickly... who flashes a thumbs up before he passes out.*
Terina: No points.
Thunder: GO!
*BUZZ! From Raft-Shack*
Thunder: Sustaining 10 footballs to the groin and remaining standing.
Faboon walks up to accept this task, hands placed on his hips, as he stands ready. From off-screen, some generic-looking guy from Brooklyn starts chucking balls like mad at the groin, each one connecting dead one, Faboon showing no sign of pain it seems, as each balls collides, finally the last one connects, Faboon looking completely emotionless, then a few seconds later, letting out the loudest scream possible, jumping up and down in immense pain.
Faboon: MY LOVE LIFE... IT ENDS THIS EVE!!!
Thunder: Damn! 200 points for Raft-Shack!
…
GO!
*BUZZ! From Raft-Shack*
Jupiter: Singing the HMS Pinnefore in Dutch while standing on the hands.
*Zeleke, having gotten back up, steps forward, easily standing on those hands of his, since he probably does it almost all day, then realizing he doesn't know any Dutch, so he just starts singly very badly, using random words that either don't exist or are not even remotely Dutch. TJT and the other contestants quickly stop him before their ears explode.*
Jupiter: STOP STOP STOP! NOOOWWWW! NO POINTS!
Thunder: Ow…
Ow…
My ears…
GO!
Ow…
*BUZZ! FROM RAFT-SHACK!*
Thunder: Ow. Standing 30 feet in the air on top of a flagpole conveniently located in the studio, over—THERE. *the camera pans over to a flagpole next to the audience.*
*Faboon, still clutching his groin, walks over, quickly climbing up this flagpole, showing no difficulty seeing as, like Zeleke, he is half Spot and half Monkey, quickly standing up atop on one foot, doing very well and showing no signs of falling. TJT begins timing the crazed being, who just stands atop, whistling to himself and thinking a bit, then switching to the other foot, twiddling his thumbs as everyone just looks up, quite amazed.*
Someone: ... Are those guys even human?!
*Faboon then simply slides back down the pole, giggling to himself, then hopping back down, moonwalking back over to the Raft Shackian Podium, Zeleke having decided to take a nap while he was gone, head resting atop said podium.*
Thunder: Well, that’s insane. Raft-Shack scores…300 POINTS~!
That being said, the scores are as follows:
Raft Shack—300.
Guardinals—500!
Team Ireland—900!
Terina: Which means our winner is…
*Boos erupt!*
*Suddenly, scores on the podiums all show up with negative signs on the LED displays.*
Jupiter: Whoops! Sorry, folks! The points in this game were all…NEGATIVE points. WHICH MEANS RAFT-SHACK HAS WON!
*”Apache” picks up over the speakers as the crowd suddenly changes to cheers.*
Thunder: Now, we have work to do, so we can’t stay long. We would like to warn you guys though, that the match for Survival of the Fittest…is a PASSAGE TO RAA MATCH.
What is it? Oh, you’ll see. YOU’LL SEE!
*TJT depart, running away as the three of Team Ireland go ballistic, yelling at them and near to the chase as Raft-Shack breaks out into dancing…and the camera fades out.*
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Post by teamireland on Nov 4, 2007 13:42:02 GMT -5
*"Country Boy" starts playing over the EWT Speakers as Hillbilly Jim makes his way out, doing his usual posing routine & all.*
Toni "The Garc" Garcya: The following contest is a Pig-Pen match, introducing first, from Mu...
*Garcya is cut off as Shane Malone appears at the top of the ramp. He smashes Hillbilly Jim in the back of the head with his forearm then Powerbombs him off the stage into the Pig Pen set up below. The crowd boo angrily. O'Hare comes out shortly behind Malone.*
O'Hare: This is it? Some washed-up relic from the '80s is the competition for the next EWT Toolshed Champion? Are you wise in the head?
*Malone trots on down the ramp, enters the Pig Pen & covers Jim with a foot on the chest.*
1...
2...
3!!!
O'Hare: Your winner & the NEXT EWT Toolshed Champion... "THE CELTIC GIANT"... SHANE MALONE!!! Now, let's see the footage of how Aidan & Sean managed in their match against the Brit & the Scotchy!
*The Dorfitoomitron flicks to a picture of Aidan & Sean leaning against a bar in a pub. Dressed as they were on TJT's "TJTrivia" set.*
O'Hare: Aidan, can you hear us? How did ya do there?
Aidan: *fiddling with an earpiece* Oh, it was fine. Here, you can just ask those lads...
*The camera pans down & we see Dave Taylor & Drew McIntyre laying on the ground in a bloody pool.*
Sean: It was hardly even worth our time showing up. We're outta here. Beer tastes like crap anyway...
*Sean & Aidan leave the bar & we switch back to O'Hare & Malone on the stage.*
O'Hare: Well, there ya have it folks... Another good example that no matter WHERE you come from... YOU WILL NEVER BEAT THE IRISH!
*"I'm Shipping Up To Boston" plays over the speakers as O'Hare & Malone head on back to the locker-room to a chorus of boos.*
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Post by Karvanda on Nov 4, 2007 14:30:54 GMT -5
*With bandages on his back, Voltigeur can be seen sitting in a poorly-lit office, an old leather chair being his means of stance. Writing away on a papyrus scroll resting on an old wooden desk with a quill pen, dark black ink sinking into the paper as he reads it aloud.*
“To: The Order of His Lord Majesty’s Knight’s Hospitalar
My Grand Edict of Opportunity
Dearest wishes to you, my brothers. My task runs itself well; unfortunately I have suffered a setback. A betrayal has temporarily disabled my ruling over one of the artifacts. A so-called “Toolshed Championship” that belongs under grandest stature to a man named ‘Shane Malone.’ Yes, it is my distress that I was unable to retain. However, now I may shift my focus.
My realm has temporarily dissipated, but may come to something better. Something stronger. Something more powerful. As you see, there are other championships. And as I write this to you, I fear that you make react in a most sour a manner. Two champions, from my tier. Two champions with humors that I cannot condone in any heart:
One championship is the Tri-State championship. Commanding over this dominion is the demon that refers to his self as “Ghost Face.” He is much smaller than I, but like a wolf, he controls with his pack to attain victory, his ferocity adding to the equation and making him a formidable foe, indeed. His soul is tainted, if he does indeed possess one. Imbalances require work. But his imbalances are so severe that if I were to try to fix him, consequences could be extraordinarily dangerous.
Ruling the Ox-Division championship, divided by only a few miles as the crow flies, is a wonton by the name of Juri Sadamoto. Whilst she had defeated a foul ravisher, usurping from his what he held dearest above sexual and otherwise carnal acts, she is not of any greater stature, neither physical nor spiritual. She demands to be on the scale of mankind itself. She, who can not embrace her womanhood but must rather take to the scandalous practice of performing in the region of manhood itself. And, as she revels in her newfound victory by celebration, lead apes in Hell, she does not count on the possibilities of one to put her in her place.
When I have found which adversary is more fulfilling for thine self to challenge, I shall announce it upon you, proclaiming my Manifesto in regards to the championship and division I have chosen forth.
Onwards, my brothers, and Godspeed,
Williem van Coheein, Le Voltigeur de Rotterdam”
*fade out*
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Post by Hensley on Nov 4, 2007 15:21:35 GMT -5
*Hardcore Hensley exits his locker room, and bumps directly into Sum Guy again.*
Hensley: Ah, Sum Guy, just the man I was looking for.
Sum Guy: What's on your mind, Hensley?
Hensley: Well, lemme tell you, I watched Survival of the Fittest last night, and the talent just blew me away!
Sum Guy: Really?
Hensley: Yes, all the way from the Cidal Squad encounter, to the Megadeth, the action was intense!
Sum Guy: It was, it was.
Hensley: Indeed.
Sum Guy: So, are you psyched about the New Year?
Hensley: Where do I begin? The New Year, for me, is a place to reset. To start over.
*Sum Guy nods respectively.*
Hensley: The Hardcore Hensley Era is inevitable, EWT. I'm here, I'm a changed man, and I'm game.
*Hensley walks off with a satisfying grin across his face. Sum Guy nods in improvement of the rookie then walks off camera.*
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TJT
AC Slater
It's fun to be perfect.
Posts: 109
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Post by TJT on Nov 4, 2007 22:39:04 GMT -5
*TJT are in their locker room, Thunder and Jupiter watching TV, sitting only about 6 inches apart, their manager laying asleep on her back on top their laps, wrapped in a blanket as they, in their street clothes, look half-asleep as well.*
Thunder: So Jason…we did it.
Jupiter: Yeah. Yeah we did.
Thunder: Why does it not feel as awesome as it should?
Jupiter: Probably because we already celebrated 4 hours ago.
Thunder: Oh yeah! How many glasses of champagne did I polish off?
Jupiter: I lost count around 30.
Thunder: Damn, that much?
Jupiter: THAT much.
Thunder: How am I still awake?
Jupiter: …I have NO idea. Well, there’s a bit of a problem in the aftermath of Survival of the Fittest…
Thunder: Cass losing his Ox-Division title?
Jupiter: To a woman, at that. I just…I just don’t get it! Actually, now that I think of it, TWO problems.
Thunder: So what are the two problems?
Jupiter: …
Thunder: Oh. So what’s problem Number 2?
Jupiter: Well, upon further inspection, Raft-Shack still has #1 Contendership for the tag titles.
Thunder: What?
Jupiter: Slight problem. You see, little signing error on my part, and whatnot.
Thunder: Well, we’ll defeat them again. I mean, not only are we the champions, but we won that match clearly, no problem!
Jupiter: Sorry, but on a logical side, it was actually the lady here *pointing down at the sleeping Terina* that made the save. They ALMOST got us.
Thunder: Beginners’ luck. Hell, we didn’t scout them. So of course they had a bit of an edge! But we got the style tacked down!
Jupiter: Maybe we have. What you must make sure to consider is that our victory was marginal. In my study of wrestling styles, Insanity is very strong versus finesse. They can dodge and duck all day. They won’t go toe-to-toe with us, and they don’t need to. That’s the danger. Big guys we can outsmart. Most traditional teams are doomed against our technical prowess. But we’ve never faced a team like these two ever before!
Thunder: Well what about—
*All of a sudden, Terina begins to mutter something in her sleep, stirring.*
“Fried cheese…no…no…that was Tony…Plow……they were….ehhh…”
Thunder: Ummm…uh-huh.
Jupiter: Do you remember The Vanguard when we were in SWAPW? Same principle. They managed to pin us! That was unheard of! And they did it! You want to know why?
Thunder: They were weird…
Jupiter: That’s the point. I’m going to have to talk this over with the management. This was a contractual fluke. Not supposed to be happening, from what I know.
Thunder: Uh…hey Jason?
Jupiter: What?
Thunder: I just realized that her butt is on my lap.
Jupiter: That’s wonderful, Jim. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to—
Thunder: If something rousing were to—
Jupiter: You mean “arousing?”
Thunder: I think. Well if it happened to me, would that mean that I boinked her?
Jupiter: Eh, technically, perhaps.
Thunder: Hmmm….*closes eyes*
Jupiter: You okay there, Tonto?
Thunder: *to self* Think sexy thoughts…think sexy thoughts…think sexy thoughts…
*Suddenly, the door comes flying open*
Jack: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! JACKY BOY IN DA HOUSE~!
*Terina wakes up, jolting up off of Jim and falling on the floor, slowly getting back up to her feet.*
Thunder: Well, damn… *frowning*
Terina: What the…what’s happening here?!
Jupiter: Must do contractual work. Needing concentration juice.
*Jason ducks into a closet, pulling out his trenchcoat, a briefcase, and a silver flask of Scotch, which he tucks into an inside pocket of the coat as he puts it on.*
Jupiter: I have work to do. Later!
Terina: See ya, Jason!
Jack: Mmm, this lentil soup sure is tasty! I mean….bye Jason…
Thunder: Don’t forget to pick me up some booze!
*He bolts out through the doorway, running off into the darkness, his voice trailing off:*
Jupiter: BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMM….
Terina: Better luck with what?
Thunder: Uh, that Mars Dogtrap I planted.
Terina: A Mars Dogtrap? Is there even such a thing?
Thunder: Sure there is! It’s…just…in my mind! Yeah! Actually it’s just a marigold but NO-ONE IS SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT! DAMMIT, PSYCHE! DAMMIT!
Jack: Did I pick the wrong time to arrive?
Terina: Arrive for what?
Jack: …I’ll get back to you on that one.
Terina: Well you woke me up, and I need sleep. Do you know what I went through today?!
Jack: I came, I saw!
Thunder: Isn’t there more to that song?
Jack: Not to mine! A cha-cha-cha-cha-cha! You know, you should take up a career in the circuit of mud wrestling.
Terina: I didn’t even know what was going on then. I rolled down a hill and was covered in slime.
Jack: Riiiiiiiight!
Terina: Well, I need my sleep. You want to…do me a favor?
Jack: *nodding excitedly* YES YES YES!
Terina: I need a foot massage. I’d normally call a servant but I’m really too tired. I feel like I crashed—
Thunder: Into a sand trap?
Terina: Exactly. Well, at least I won the match, that's what matters. FINALLY she sees just how damned dangerous I am. And I get closer to the #1 Contendership for that sweeeet GND Title! Oh, Jack, massage them really well. Don’t worry though, they don’t smell.
I think.
Jack: Can I lick them?
Terina: …
Get out of this room. NOW.
Jack: Fine, fine, whatever you say!
*Jack rushes out the door*
Terina: AND SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!
*Jack stops dead in his tracks, closing the door behind him.*
Jack: Ms. Nash?
*Back from inside, he hears groans…*
Terina: Uhhh…rub harder…harder…uuuhhhhhh….HARDER…..oooooh yeah. That’s why I love you, Jim.
*Jack’s eyes go googly, an expression of disgust and bewilderment crossing his face. He looks back at the door before walking off.*
Thunder: This is the LAST time I massage anyone’s feet…..eeeh…
*FADE OUT.*
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Post by liontamer12 on Nov 5, 2007 14:01:25 GMT -5
Camera fades in on the stage of the EWT arena. The quiet bustle of crowd noise bursts into loud cheers as “I’m the King of my World” by Saliva explodes from the speakers. John “The Lion” Valentine rushes out of the curtain, Amnestria clutching his left hand. He smirks, looks at Amnestria and struts to the edge of the stage. He performs his signature bow taunt and the crowd gives a loud cheer.
Howard Finkel: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following submission match is scheduled for one fall. On his way to the ring, from Oak Harbor, Washington, weighing in at 225 pounds, being accompanied by Amnestria, JOHN “THE LION” VALENTINE!
The crowd cheers once again at the sound of JLV’s name.
JR: What an ovation for the returning Lion!
King: He’s all rusted up. Cena’s going to smash his brains in.
Smirking, Valentine makes his way down the ramp, slapping the hands of eager fans as he passes. He dives into the ring and stands in the middle, performing a Triple H like taunt, raising his arms high, flexed into the sky, whipping his hair back. The crowd pops once more and the music fades out.
JR: Well folks, we are going to see JLV in action on Heatvelocityimpact for the first time since The Sky’s the Limit II against former WWE Champion, John Cena in a Submission match.
King: My money is on Cena. He’s got that STFU…ouch.
JR: I would have to agree, King. But I’m wondering if JLV can pull this one out of a hat. He fended for himself better than I expected in the Megadeath match yesterday.
That old familiar music hits and the crowd gives a mixed reaction. John Cena bursts from the curtain working the crowd.
Howard Finkel: On his way next, the opponent from West Newbury, Massachusetts, weighing in at 240 pounds, JOHN CENA!
He salutes the crowd and sprints down the ramp, sliding into the ring. “Word Life” taunts fly as he raises his hands, preparing for the match.
JR: There he is, King. Looks like Cena is ready to go.
Just as the fans begin to settle down to watch the match, another song blasts from the speakers.
Howard Finkel: And the second opponent-
JR: Wha?!
Howard Finkel: -from Cocoa Beach, Florida, weighing in at 236 pounds, RICK MARTEL!
Martel steps through the curtain with applause of respect from the crowd. Still very confused at the match.
JR: This is handicap?! Why the hell would this kind of thing happen?!
King: Beautiful!
Rick Martel walks down the ramp, walks up the steps and gets into the ring, he shakes hands with Cena and the begin to stretch and warm up for the match.
JR: Well, I hope Valentine can survive these two men, even if he loses the match.
King: It’s over for Valentine.
Just when all is thought done, "Offbeat Bare Ass" by 311 explodes from the speakers and the crowd jumps to their feet. Jesse Nunez struts from the curtain he smirks and begins down the ramp.
Howard Finkel: And the third opponent, from San Juan, Puerto Rico, weighing in at 214 pounds, JESSE “THE PHOENIX” NUNEZ!
JR: You are kidding me!
King: This is great!
Nunez slides into the ring and all four men square off. Referee Tim White calls for the bell.
DING, DING, DING!
Camera fades to commercial. To be continued...
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Sajoa Moe
Patti Mayonnaise
Did you get that thing I sent ya?
A man without gimmick.
Posts: 39,683
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Post by Sajoa Moe on Nov 5, 2007 16:09:37 GMT -5
A new, unfamiliar song plays on the PA system. It sounds like the song "I Can Tell That We Are Gonna Be Friends" from Napoleon Dynamite, but it has a funky beat to it. All of a sudden, a man comes through the curtain. It's a skinny, wiry black man, dressed in a pimp outfit, but he has puffy orange hair, large glasses, and buck teeth. He's wearing a "Vote for Pedro" T-shirt under his fur coat. He awkwardly struts to the ring, looking around and feeling embarrassed to be in public.Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Approaching the ring, from Funkytown, Idaho, weighing in at 175 pounds...NAPOLEON...DOLEMITE!! The crowd immediately boos the guy with the weird gimmick, who gets in the ring and takes the mic from the ring announcer.ND: Gosh, like shut up! The crowd continues to boo him.ND: Don't you know who I am? I'm a super-fly pimp daddy, whaddaya THINK?! Gaaaw! More booing.ND: Check me out as I bust some awesome moves. ND starts doing the Napoleon Dynamite dance, to booing and chants of "THIS GUY SUCKS!". He continues to dance awkwardly, until..."For Those Who Fight Further" plays as the crowd suddenly erupts into cheers, and MARCUS TRUNK appears through the curtain!Ring Announcer: And his opponent, making his return to EWT...from Detroit, Michigan, weighing in at 305 pounds...MARCUS...TRUNK!! Trunk spreads his arms and roars, then pounds his fists on the stage as a huge white pyro explodes behind him. The explosion scares ND and knocks him on his butt.Trunk enters the ring and grabs the top rope, roaring to the crowd, which chants "TRUNK! TRUNK! TRUNK!". ND sneaks up and hits Trunk from behind as the bell rings.
ND climbs up on Trunk's back and tries to wrap his arms around Trunk's neck, but Trunk easily shakes off the man whom he outweighs by 140 pounds. ND gets up and tries to clothesline Trunk, but Trunk doesn't budge. ND goes off the ropes for another clothesline, but Trunk slams into him with a vicious driving shoulder block, sending ND flying. Trunk picks up ND and whips him to the ropes, tossing him up into the air for a flapjack. But when ND is at the height of the flapjack, Trunk turns him inside out with a nasty lariat!
Trunk bellows to the crowd, which chants "TRUNK! TRUNK! TRUNK!" as he lifts the limp ND to his feet. He whips ND to the ropes, and swings him around, flattening him with the Trunk Buster! Trunk covers.1...2...3! Ring Announcer: Here is your winner...MARCUS TRUNK!! Trunk reaches out of the ring and asks for a microphone.Trunk: E! W! TEEEEEEE!!! The crowd explodes.Trunk: Marcus Trunk is back! And I'm on my own! This is where it all begins again! And when I'm... Trunk is interrupted by chants of "WELCOME BACK! WELCOME BACK!" Trunk smiles and is looking pumped up.Trunk: Thank you! Thank you all! When I'm climbing that ladder and working my way to the top, I know that I'll have the support of each and every one of you! So let's go out there and KICK SOME ASS!! "For Those Who Fight Further" starts up as Trunk drops the mic, raises his arms, and roars to the already riled-up crowd. He walks back up the ramp and through the curtain.
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