Limey
Unicron
It's been awhile.
Posts: 3,062
|
Post by Limey on Sept 13, 2007 12:24:06 GMT -5
*"Round And Round" by Ratt hits. The crowd look to the entrance ramp...and see Carla O Woe come out to her new music, decked in a stylish green Fallen Angel-style Indie coat with a black and green diamond pattern! She is holding her back, pained by the previous match, but still manages to make it to the ring, smiling due to both being part of a fantastic welcome back match, and a splendid exit for the Ragnals. She enters the ring, and throws up the horns to a huge pop, before calling for the microphone...*
Carla: (opens her mouth to speak, but the crowd is chanting "GND!" too loudly, so Carla holds up her hand to hush the crowd) Yes...GND...which reminds me, congrats to the new GND Champ! You did well...and soon it would be an honour to face you...title match or nay...but before I do...many of you have been wondering just what exactly I've been planning since I've announced my return...and let me tell you, some of you will love this, some of you will hate this...but ALL of you...will be shocked. I can't describe it admirably myself...so check out this video package. It'll explain everything...
*The Toomi-Tron comes to life as the lights dim. It shows blackness at first...*
Announcer: Because once a year...is never enough.
THE HARLOT HUNT 2007.5: BIKINI CONTESTS ARE FOR WUSSIES!!!
SEVEN CONTESTANTS WILL ENTER! THEY WILL GO THROUGH SIX STAGES OF HELL IN ORDER TO PROVE WHO HAS WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE IT IN EWT'S GND DIVISION!
STEP ONE: THE INTRODUCTIONS. SEVEN REMAIN.
STEP TWO: UNLEASH YOUR FINISHER. SIX REMAIN.
STEP THREE: THE TRACY SMOTHERS DANCE OFF. FIVE REMAIN.
STEP FOUR: THE OBSTACLE COURSE: FOUR REMAIN.
STEP FIVE: HARM THE HARLOT (verbally). THREE REMAIN.
AND FINALLY, THE LAST TWO STANDING WILL DUKE IT OUT AMONGST THEMSELVES, WITH THE VICTOR GAINING $250,000, AND A FULL EWT CONTRACT!
IMMUNITY WILL BE GIVEN TO THE VICTORS FROM STEPS TWO TO FOUR. FROM THEN ON IN, THEY'RE WORKING ON APPEAL ALONE.
THE HARLOT HUNT 2007.5...THIS ONE PROMISES TO BE BETTER!
*We return to the ring. Carla is standing there, smiling.*
Carla: Yes indeed! The Harlot Hunt returns...and don't worry...this time we've selected only the greatest and most efficient female wrestlers the world has known...no more posing, no more stupid pun names...sorry, Joe...these women would kick your ass, and look absolutely fabulous doing it!! The seven have already been chosen...and they're coming to EWT, but ONLY ONE can win the big one!
*Carla leaves the ring, throwing up the horns as the crowd is flabbergasted.*
|
|
|
Post by teamireland on Sept 13, 2007 17:47:34 GMT -5
*The familiar opening strains of Dropkick Murphys' "I'm Shipping Up To Boston" emanate through the EWT Arena as the crowd direct their attention to the Toomi/Dorftron. Team Ireland emerge from underneath the giant screen & finally have a reason to celebrate. Coach O'Hare waves his trademark Tricolour wrapped hurley like a madman as Aidan & Sean join him, flanking him at either side. Sean begins to point back to the entrance tunnel as "The Celtic Giant" Shane Malone emerges all, are dressed casually with Team Ireland shirts on, bar O'Hare, clad in a black & green shellsuit. Malone makes the "title belt" gesture around his waist & lets out a gutteral roar. The Irish quartet continue down the ramp, pausing as their trademark Green, White & Gold pyro explodes at the top of the ramp. At that point, O'Hare raises the Hurley as high as he can, while spreading the flag for all to see. His three proteges enter the ring as O'Hare stands on the apron taking one long, smirking look out to the crowd. He finally steps in the ring & orders to be given a microphone. The music fades out as O'Hare begins to talk. Before he can even start, the audience pelts him with boos.*
O'Hare: And FINALLY, we are back on our way to glory! Sing it with me lads!
*Aidan & Sean lean in to O'Hare's mic & all three loudly sing...*
Aidan, Sean & O'Hare: OOOOOOOOOLAAAAAAY, OLE-OLE-OLE, OOOOOOLAAAAY, OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
*The crowd boos some more.*
O'Hare: And here I thought you'd be pleased that one of the belts is going to be staying AWAY from those Minipax gyets for the forseeable future! We're doing you people a favour! Soon, you'll finally have Toolshed Champion with some credibility. Not some madman who thinks he's a knight from an era long past! Let me tell you, when that knight faces this Giant *He slaps Shane on the chest* unlike those fairy tales Voltigeur believes in the Giant WILL walk away victorious! There were five others in that Scaffold Match & each one of them went plummeting through the tables below, leaving ONE man standing tall! The NEXT EWT Toolshed Champion, "The Celtic Giant", SHANE MALONE!
*More vociferous boos.*
O'Hare: And there's one other thing I want to address. Dorf, you think you can go around & CANCEL our match, our chance to get back those tag-team titles, & there will be NO ramifications? You, son, have made enemies of Team Ireland for life! Maybe you wanted to protect a few of your mates from a kicking from my lads here or something, but those are OUR Tag-Team Titles & come the next PPV... We'll be getting them back! TJT, we appreciate you keeping them warm for us & all lads, but youse are minor league! Certainly nothing compared to the longest reigning & GREATEST EWT World Tag-Team Champions ever!
*More boos.*
O'Hare: [To Audience]Oh, like youse all LOVE TJT, right?! The point is, it's ALL going our way! The Tag-Team titles are coming home again! The Toolshed Title will be in our camp! And, just maybe, I can avoid Dr. Anemone (or at least get her to put a wig on). Liam, Mahavir Abha, you can go to hell! We've bigger fish to fry & victory parties to plan!
*Aidan, Sean & O'Hare sing again.*
Aidan, Sean & O'Hare: OOOOOOOOOLAAAAAAY, OLE-OLE-OLE, OOOOOOLAAAAY, OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
*O'Hare waves the Tricolour aloft as Malone stands in the background with his arms crossed. Aidan & Sean stand on the ropes & point to themselves, making "title belt" gestures to the boos of the fans.*
<**CUT AWAY FOR ADVERTS**>
|
|
|
Post by radicalbuttercup on Sept 13, 2007 19:02:43 GMT -5
~A very cheerful field full of multi-colored daises erupts into a storm of pink cherry blossoms which swirl about and cover the landscape. A gaggle of dancing reindeer, standing up right on two feet, shimmy their way across the magically colored field~
Reindeers: CRAZY CRAZY RAINBOW STAR!
~The reindeer all sing in strange broken English of the high pitched variety. Amongst the daises a figure sits upwards with a sleepy expression. Madison the Clown Girl looks about her peculiar surroundings with a few flowers sticking out of her hair~
Madison: ........Muh? Is this real?
Reindeers: YES!
Madison: ......Neat-o torpedo!
~She springs out of the flowers and is wearing a long, light blue night gown. The harlequin spins in place to take in all the trippy sights. A great big 'ol cheerful sun sits in the sky swaying back and forth~
Reindeers: GND title! All for you!
~The reigning champion sprouts out of the ground~
Synthy: NUH. MUH BELT.
~Madison grabs a hold of Synthy and hurls her into the sun which promptly gobbles her up. Madi scoops up the belt, which is flashing with neon lights and wraps it around her waist. She strikes a victorious pose~
Madison: AH HAH HA!
~A large stripy circus tent emerges from the ground, towering into the heavens~
Reindeers: Your own circus! All for you!
Madison: .....Let's dance!
~Everything and anything in the area breaks out into dance~
Everyone: Merry, merry go round! Funky, funny playground!
~The imaginary world slowly begins to melt away as we drift back to reality. Madison is now shown sitting in a locker room, eyes closed with a wide smile. She's sporting a mean black eye and one of her arms are in a sling. Her daydreaming (or psychotic interlude) comes to abrupt halt as a cane strikes her on the top of the head~
Madison: Ooow..!!
~She rubs away at the rainbow colored mess she calls hair and turns her vision upwards to see Draugr leader Ghost Face standing in front of her. He has his own set of injures as bandages cover various parts of his body, no doubt from his crash through a flaming table~
Ghost Face: ..Are you paying attention?
~Madison slumps downward in her seat with a frown~
Madison: ......The reindeer said it was real.
~Again the cane meets the top of her head~
Madison: OOW! Ok, ok! I'm payin' attention!
Ghost Face: ..You were supposed to capture the GND title. That was to be our first claw that we dug into this federation. Even with our help you couldn't accomplish it.
Madison: But you lost your m.......
~A pair of narrowing, yellow eyes pipe her down~
Ghost Face: I didn't lose anything. When one door closes, another opens. If you weren't too busy having one of your little mid-day fantasies, you would have seen Corpse, Wraith and myself and our associates take out two legends. Oceanic and Maelstrom. Two names that are instantly recognized and respected. While groups like Minipax are busy squabbling amongst themselves and worshipping has been false idols..
~Madison can't help but snicker~
Madison: Minipax sounds like a girl hygiene product.
Ghost Face: And while The Cidal Squad are too preoccupied coming up with more insipid nicknames..
Madison: Clownacidal! Bunnyacidal! Ghostacidal!
~Ghost Face lowers down so that he's staring eye to with Madison and for the first time, his voice raises above it's usual hissed whisper~
Ghost Face: SHUT. UP.
~Madison lowers her head so that her hair hides most of her face~
Ghost Face: ..While they all do that..we're making the right "friends"..and making an impact. Fear..is power. And very soon..everyone's going to be checking their closets before they go to sleep..just to make sure we aren't hiding in them.
Madison: .......Can't I at least go back to my old wrasslin' clothes? This stuff is so drab.
~She tugs at her black and gray colored attire while peeking upwards~
Ghost Face: ..No. And what the hell was Die Shiguya doing interfering in your match?
Madison: I 'unno. I can't even pronounce his name and you just said it!
~The jack 'o lantern on the tip of Ghost Face's cane is pressed against the clown's nose~
Ghost Face: ..If your lying to me..we will pick your bones clean like a vulture feasting upon carrion..
Madison: I'm.......not sure what that last word means but ya got it, Mistah G. ....But...you promised me I'd win that title....and ya didn't say anything about losin' my best friend.....
Ghost Face: ..Do you know how pathetic you sound? You don't have any friends. We're the only family you have. And if you don't start responding more favorably to our gospel..we'll just have to help you..the same way we did Karma..
~Madison shakes her head back and forth with a nervous smile~
Madison: Nuh-uh! I'm shippin' up! Shapin up! Whatever ya gotta say! I'm aaaaaaaaaall ears!
Ghost Face: ..I thought as much. The next time we get you an opportunity..try not to be such an abysmal failure..
~Ghost Face takes his leave of the locker room and turns the light off as he vacates, leaving Madison in the darkness. A heavy sigh escapes from her~
Madison: ......His motivational policy is the pits. Even the people in the nut home were nicer than him. ....'Least I got three din-din's there too....
~A pink, fuzzy hand belonging to the world's only professional wrestling rabbit rests on her shoulder~
Madison: .....Tell me about it, Mr. Bunny.....
|
|
|
Post by Marcus "Stylez" Saxton on Sept 13, 2007 19:11:36 GMT -5
As we come back from the Adverts, we see local EWT Trainee Pelle London standing in the ring, mike in hand.
Pelle: Ladies and gentlemen of the EWT, allow me to introduce greatness. Allow me to introduce to you, a man that has gone through personal strife in his life, yet continues to be better than every single one of you. Ladies and gentlemen, retards of the world, let me introduce to you, Pelle Lo-
Pelle is cut off as a familiar sound is being played over the loudspeakers. The infamous Godzilla intro is playing before making a fluid transition into "The Champ Is Here" by Jadakiss. As Pelle looks around in confusion, a black man in a Delirious mask slides into the ring, lifts Pelle up in a Torture Rack position, and brings him down hard with a stiff as hell DDT. THe maksed man grabs the microphone before speaking.
Man: THE CHAMP IS HERE!!!
The masked man lifts his mask to reveal Marcus "Stylez" Saxton!! Saxton has a smug look on his face as he looks as the body of Pelle London. Saxton grabs London by the hair and lifts him up before hitting the 187 (F-U to Eye of the Hurricane). Saxton just smiles more before leaving the ring, mask in hand.
|
|
|
Post by crauswell on Sept 14, 2007 9:16:40 GMT -5
We cut to the backstage area, as a rather unusual sight is visible, the sight of a familiar furry sitting back up against a wall, looking down at a familiar something clutched in his grip, that same black stuff horse, as he seems to be gazing vacantly at it, rocking back and forth a bit in place, resting a palm over his forehead as he does so, seeming to be in thought.
Crauswell: What does he want.... what do you want... why didn't he let me exterminate that miserable giant?! WHY DIDN'T HE LET ME DO WHAT I SET OUT TO DO!!! I had that.... Mystery quaking in fear, helpless to escape my wrath, and I was ready to tear him to shreds. Then... then you showed up! You... you bastard!
He quickly pulls the stuffed horse right up to his masked face, now full of angered rage, as he clutches the thing tighter.
Crauswell: YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO SHOW UP! I've no quarrel with you, I've elected to stay away from you, so you wouldn't be caught in my path of destruction. Yet, you follow me everywhere now... you stalk me in my mind, you lurk in my every thought, and you just keep pushing me closer and closer off the brink of insanity. Why exactly... what have I ever done to you? I was your ally at one time yes, but once I joined the Cidal Squad, I threw that all aside. Why do you keep trying to bring about your own miserable decimation.... do you want me to destroy you? DO YOU WANT ME TO DESTROY YOU?!
Crauswell starts panting heavily, as if he's in frustration, grabbing the horse by it's neck and wrapping his hands around, squeezing and simulating a choking motion, but quickly stopping himself, dropping the plush thing in his lap, as he gazes down at the floor, continuing to rock in place.
Crauswell: I must give you justified warning... don't get involved with me. Do not get involved with the Cidal Squad... it'll only end badly for the both of us. You will lose your career.... and I will lose my friend...
The furry slowly rises up, into the view of the seldom seen thin member of the EWT family, Lean Gene Cummerbund, whose pratically snickering at this odd conversation. Craus instantly turns to him and charges, grabbing him by the skull and driving him face first into the nearest wall, then pressing him against it, beating the living hell out of this spectator, as Gene yelps in pain, trying to squirm free from this mauling, to no avail, Craus soon taking him down to the floor, continuing to pummel and brutalize the man, as a group of EWT workers immediately run over, yanking the crazed costumed man off, who easily breaks out of their grip, grabbing that horse once again, then looking down at the now bloody Lean Gene.
Crauswell: STAY OUT OF MY BUSINESS!!!!
He immediately runs off, presumably to the Cidal Squad lockerroom, as we zoom in on Gene's motionless body.
We quickly fade out.
|
|
Sigma: Current SRW Champ!
Dennis Stamp
Writes about wrestling, does videos about game shows, helps transpeople, loves baseball etc.
Posts: 4,525
|
Post by Sigma: Current SRW Champ! on Sept 14, 2007 12:15:34 GMT -5
(Sigma is sitting backstage, his face still bloodied from the vicious Team Ireland attack on the scaffold. He sits there with a sick, sadistic look on his face. However, that look immediately turns to anger after hearing Coach O'Hare spout off about Malone's "victory")
Sigma: So, just because it took all four of you to put me down to the tables below proves that you can beat Voltiguer to capture that prestigious EWT Toolshed Championship title. What you did in the scaffold match only solidified one thing. You four are the most pathetic examples of humankind to ever exist on this planet. It took Aiden, Sean, Shane, and not to mention your precious Hurley, Coach O'hare. My theory about Team Ireland stands as this. If you meet up with all of them at one time, then they are strong. If you single out each member of that insidious troupe, then they will all fall down like a house of cards. So, consider this a warning Team Ireland. If you so try to cross me again, you would have started a gigantic unholy war that you know full well what will happen to you pathetic examples of manhood.
(Lights dim and Sigma brings up a projector with Pictures of Team Ireland inside)
Let's look at the members of Team Ireland right now.
(A picture of Sean McCann appears)
Sean McCann: You claim that you are the supposed "Don Juan" of Team Ireland. However, from what your past exploits have told me, "Don Juan" is as effective in bed as a blind and drunk pilot is to an Boeing 747 Jet. You have no idea what to do and how to use your abilities that you were born with. Yet, there are other stories that when you were with women, you were actually with an effeminate man. "Don Juan" you claim you say you are? You're more like Don Quixote or Don Adams than Don Juan.
(Sean's picture disappears, Aiden Donnelly's appears)
Aiden Donnelly: The proud captain of this team. You pride yourself on being the leader of an elite team. I'm shocked that you would still think that after the 4 month losing streak you had a while ago in important matches. When the lights were on bright, you were like Cody Carlson to the Houston Oilers in the Early 1990s. You have to resort to dirty tactics and foul play in order to win your titles. I can honestly say that you have no shot in the world if you didn't have O'hare to guide you. If O'hare wasn't there, then you would be struggling to actually win a match in the EWT. You would one step below Iron Mike Sharpe.
(Aiden's picture goes, and now Shane Malone's appears)
"The Celtic Giant" Shane Malone: A giant indeed. You already have felt what I am capable of in the scaffold match. And needless to say, I have felt your strength. Unfortunately for you, I also have the IQ of Thomas Alva Edison, while you would be completely lost in a hallway if you didn't have a map handy. Once your strength goes away, you're completely useless. I know how to take care of big men like yourself, it's academic when we meet again. You won't be able to last. And finally...
(Shane Malone's goes, Coach O'hare arrives)
The supposed leader of Team Ireland, Coach O'hare: Since you couldn't actually make it in the world of professional wrestling as an actual wrestler, you turned to being a manager and waving that blasted Hurley around thinking that you are one tough brawler. But alas, without that Hurley, you would be running away scared like the Irish chicken that you are. You're useless and pathetic. You couldn't last in the ring against me or anybody I put up against you and you know it.
(lights turn back on)
So there you have it. Four supposed geniuses of wrestling just proved to be utter incompetents. Don't ever cross me again. Otherwise you will feel my Gods Wrath. And the end result will see you getting on the next plane back to Ireland. You spend the rest of your days sucking boiled potatoes and Guinness through straws. May the lord be with you. For I am the judge, jury and executioner in this world. And never, and I mean never forget that.
|
|
|
Post by Mystery on Sept 14, 2007 13:09:10 GMT -5
*Todd Grisham is backstage with the returning Mystery.*
Todd: Todd Grisham here with an EWT Exclusive. And it's an exclusive because Mystery requested me for some reason. Mystery, why did you do that?
Mystery: Because, that other guy even scares me. I wipe my own ass? Wha?
Todd: True, but you are known for weird comments as well. All in all you're just another brick in the wall? What are you getting at?
Mystery: It's simple at what I am getting at. There is a wall in front of me. I see every brick as I see it. And they prevent me from going through the wall. I have tried to move on, move past that wall. But somehow, I get drawn back in every time. EWT follows me, I do not follow them.
Todd: What does that mean?
Mystery: Did I ask EWT to show up at Disney Land while I was on vacation? No. Did I ask dorf to call me & try to bring me back? No. I keep getting dragged back here time & time again. And now that wall is in front of me. In order to get to where I need, that wall must come down.
I have been lookin' for freedom I have been lookin' so long I have been lookin' for freedom still the search goes on I've been lookin' for freedom since I left my home town I've been lookin' for freedom still it can't be found
I paid a lotta dues, had plenty to lose travelling across the land worked on a farm, got some muscle in my arm but still I'm not a self-made man I'll be on the run for many years to come I'll be searching door to door but, given some time, some day I'm gonna find the freedom I've been searching for
*Mystery walks off while Todd Grisham has a strange look on his face.*
Todd: And she says Sum Guy is strange. Even I don't understand what she just said....
*Mystery jumps back in frame & applies a mandible claw on Grisham, shoving down to the floor.*
Mystery: Don't mock me, don't mock me, DON'T MOCK ME!!!
|
|
Limey
Unicron
It's been awhile.
Posts: 3,062
|
Post by Limey on Sept 14, 2007 14:05:10 GMT -5
*”Round and Round” by Ratt hits, and Carla O Woe makes her way out, decked in shades and carrying a clipboard. Carla makes her way to the centre of the ring, and throws up the horns to an appreciative crowd. She then takes a microphone from Tony Chimel. The crowd cheer in anticipation.*
Carla: Ladies and gentlemen…are you ready for the Harlot Hunt 2007.5??
*The crowd cheer for this, having a feeling that Carla can just about make this work.*
Carla: Now…you all know me, and you all know what the seven Harlots have to do in order to become a fully fledged EWT GND wrestler, $250,000 richer! So…with no further ado…I present to you the first contestant, from Gramercy, New York…she describes herself as a “hardcore member”, and models herself on no-one, proclaiming herself as a trendsetter, the first of her kind…SWEET SISTAH G!!!!!
*The voice of a smooth radio DJ speaks over the PA before the music can hit.*
DJ: Alright, boppers…to all those real live muthas who think they can flex muscle to Sweet Sistah G…here’s a little hit with them in mind…
*”Nowhere To Run” by Arnold McCuller plays over the PA as Sweet Sistah G makes her entrance, decked in a purple bodysuit, gold boots, a long mink coat, mirror shades and a large purple Fedora. She is carrying a cane with a sparkling diamond top, and is accompanied by several topless men in pinstripe dress pants and bowties, one of whom looking suspiciously like Jimmy Jacobs. She appears in every aspect to be a female pimp, although not adapting the mannerisms of a mamasan. She strides confidently to the ring, stopping just short of the ring, raising a hand and clicking her fingers. Two of her “fellas” immediately run forward to make a step for her. G steps up to the apron, and waits for two more “fellas” to hops up to the apron, take her an arm each, and lift her over the ropes. G twirls her cane around her head, before raising a hand to appeal to the crowd. The crowd is not quite sure what to make of Sweet Sistah G, and neither is Carla.*
Carla: Soo….um….would you mind telling us a little about…
*G puts a finger to Carla’s lips, and takes the microphone.*
SSG: CAN YOU COUNT, SUCKAS?? THREE REASONS WHY YOU NEED SWEET SISTAH G HERE IN EWT!!! Reason the first…I can see a lot of stunned ladies in the audience tonight with their jaws on the floor, checking out what I have to offer them…my fellas...are your fellas. Providing I don’t got beef, providing you play nice with my merchandise…let me tell you…when I bring my finest wares to EWT, wives will leave husbands, girlfriends will leave boyfriends, hell, BOYFRIENDS will leave boyfriends, because what I have can do anything your twisted minds desire, and you WILL be satisfied with the fees, I can tell you that!!! Reason the second…my in-ring abilities are second to NONE in the GND Division, I can seek like a tigress and strike like a cobra!!! You’d spend more time on your back than one of my fellas!! Reason the third…I have the potential, the charisma, the all-around shining X-Factor to put EWT on the map! Millions would want to tune in to see YOUR NEW favorite wrestler take apart any sucka who wants to tangle with me…I promise you right now!! EWT…will be G’s Spot!!!!
*The crowd cheers at this, Carla, stunned, takes the mic back.*
Carla: Offensive…AND marketable! We’re off to a strong start with Sweet Sistah G here in the Harlot Hunt! Our next competitor…hails from “the village of Squadila” and models herself on Bull Nakano, Megumi Kudo, Monster Ripper and Amazing Kong…please give a warm welcome to Mighty Kiki!!!!
*”Godzilla” by Blue Oyster Cult hits as a rather large woman dressed in a large black double-strapped singlet enters. She is wearing an executioner-type mask that covers her entire head. She heads to the ring, occasionally shooting glances at the crowd.*
Carla: Alrighty…now, first question, I’m not quite sure where the “village of Squadila” is…and I mean continent-wise here…where exactly is it specifically that you hail from?
*Carla offers the mic to Kiki.*
Kiki: GRRRRRRRRFFFFQUTYYUIDDSSSPHAAXVGFRRLLLGJJ#@$%!!!!
*Kiki suddenly kicks one of Sweet Sistah G’s fellas in the gut before nailing him with a Tigerbomb, suddenly running the ropes and hitting a senton drop onto him.*
SSG: Damn…Franklin, you just got JACKED!!!
Carla: Now…I don’t mean to pry, but is he alright?
SSG: Nah, won’t be the first time a 350lb culture-shocked women landed on him butt-first and won’t be the last. Give him a coupla hours.
Carla: You’re just full of these, aren’t you? Anyway, MIGHTY KIKI, EVERYBODY!!!
*The crowd is stunned into silence by Kiki, who is screaming indecipherably in the ring.*
Carla: Alright, now. Our next Harlot is from The Otacon…she is influenced by wrestlers such as Sharkboy, Battle Kat, Zebra Kid and Jushin Liger…ladies and gentlemen…CAT GIRL!!!!
*”Yatta!” by Happatai hits as Cat Girl makes her way out. Cat Girl is clearly American, but trying desperately to be Japanese. She is wearing a white wrestling costume decorated with so many tassels she puts the Macho Man to shame. On the top of her head she is sporting cat ears, on her limbs furry wrist and ankle bands, and around her neck a red choker complete with bell. She dances out to her music and makes her way to the ring, before sliding in and jumping about the place happy to be there.*
Carla: …um…
Cat Girl: (grabbing the mic) OH MY GOD, so KAWAII to be here in EWT!!! KONNICHIWA, MINA!!!!! My name is CATTU GIRURA!!!! I promise to be SUPER SPECIAL HAPPY to everyone I meet! I’m so lucky to be here! IT’S TOO KAWAII, DESU!!!!
*Kiki turns aside to Sweet Sistah G and points back at Cat Girl, completely freaked.*
Kiki: Skkkwafedge??
*SSG shrugs at this. Carla approaches Cat Girl again.*
Carla: Um…are you sure you’re alright? Do you have ADD or something? I mean, you make Christy Hemme look like RVD in comparison.
Cat Girl: (taken back) ADD?? WHO TOLD YOU?? Well…if I wanted to be honest…there are many, many waruii doctors who try to make me take yucky pills, but I hit them with my SUPER CHIDORI KATANA TWIURUITO NO JUTSU!! Super Senshi NEVER EVER listen to anybody who stands in the way of GREAT JUSTICE!!
*Cat Girl throws up the peace sign, holding the other hand like a cat and standing up on one leg. It is an interesting pose to say the least.*
Carla: Well…you’re enthusiastic…that should leave you at some advantage later. Anyways, our next Harlot is from Hokkaido, Japan…she is influenced by no-one, as she is “above all the vulgar masses and would never sink so low to as to imitate their modus vivendi”…ladies and gentlemen…HARUKA!!!
*”Music for the funeral of Queen Mary” is piped through the PA as Haruka makes her way out, wheeling a cello behind her. She is wearing a smart dress shirt and tight but thin leather pants. She poses at the top of the ramp before shrugging off the crowd, disgusted by those at the front row. As she makes her way to the apron, she gently lifts her cello up over the top rope before coming in. She has a very cold look which she shoots to the crowd.*
Haruka: I am a child prodigy…a legendary cellist destined for great things, but still the vulgar masses would rather listen to their pop music, their childish rap music and their cochlea-shattering heavy metal…I intend to right all the wrongs in this world by bringing class to EWT with my fantastic grasp on classical music…EWT…had better prepare for some Strada-Violence!
Carla: Impressive…but you look awfully familiar…
Haruka: I assure you, this is the first time you have seen me…
Carla: Weren’t you in the first Harlot Hunt?
Haruka: (nervous) I assure you, I have no idea what you are talking about…
Carla: Yeah, you got knocked out first round!
Haruka: (getting defensive) Miss Woe, I did not come here to be slandered…furthermore, I have never heard of this…”Uchida” as you so eloquently put it…
Carla: I never mentioned Uchida. You jumped to that conclusion all by yourself.
Haruka: Miss Woe, I am NOT Uchida!! For one thing…Uchida played violin…I…play the cello…so you see? Completely different!! Shameful that you could not see the difference!!!
Carla: Whatever. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt its that history repeats itself. So, if you’ve finished your introduction…
*Haruka reluctantly waits in line with the other Harlots. Cat Girl approaches Haruka, psyched.*
Cat Girl: EEEEEE!!! A REAL-LIFE JAPANESE GIRL!!! I’M JAPANESE TOO!!! Would you like to share my POCKY with me??
*Cat Girl offers some Pocky to Haruka. Haruka stares blankly at Cat Girl before swatting away the Pocky with her Cello bow. Cat Girl looks thoroughly dejected by this.*
Carla: Alright, our next Harlot hails from Beverly Hills, California, and models herself on “whatever’s in style”…I think she may have misunderstood the question there. Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for AMBER ASHLEIGH!
*”The Anthem” by Good Charlotte hits as Amber Ashleigh makes her way out. She is dressed in a denim skirt with a stylish jacked and knee-high boots, definitely not wrestling attire. Her hair is blonde, and highlighted. She is holding a Venti half-caf mocha latte in one hand and a cell phone in the other, talking to whomever is on the other end as she makes her way down to the ring. She enters, still talking.*
Carla: So, Amber, can you tell us…
Amber: ExCUSE me!! I’m, like, on the phone!! Can’t you just hold everything for me?
Carla: …you’re in the middle of….
Amber: No, you listen up, missy! I’m, like, the most perfect princess in Beverly Hills, and, like, my daddy will sue you for every penny you have if you even HINT of making me, like, upset and stuff! I, like, totally had to push back a manicure so I could be here, so you should totally be on your knees thanking me!! I don’t have to do anything for you, or for any of these stupid middle-class morons watching me right now! Oh, and I shouldn’t even, like, have to go through this process, I mean, like, all Tiffany had to do, and she is like, totally copying me in every, like, way by the way, was show up and let that Mr. Dorf hire her just like that, I mean, I’M the perfect princess and I should always have my way because if I don’t my throat closes up and I get all nauseous and if that happens you will TOTALLY get sued for….
Carla: Alright then…go back to your phone conversation, just stop talking, it’s giving me a migraine…
*Amber walks back into the line of Harlots. Haruka is watching with great interest.*
Haruka: Miss Ashleigh…we seem to share the same attitude towards the vulgar masses…I have a little proposal for you if you would listen…
Amber: (looks at Haruka before hanging up) I’m, like, interested…
*The two start talking quietly to each other as Carla gets on the mic again.*
Carla: We’re down to two more Harlots, everyone! Lets meet them…first we have…from Bensonhurst, New York…she models herself on Victoria, Nora Greenwald, Ivory and Trish Stratus...MARIE RICCIONI!!!!
*”Girls On Film” hits as Marie Riccioni makes her way out. She is dressed in a brown overcoat that covers a gaudy red sports top/ biker short combination. Her hair is brown and very curly. She has a camera around her neck that looks like an antique, and she takes picture after picture of the crowd rapidly on her way to the ring. She hops up to the apron, and holds her camera out in front of her, taking a picture of herself and all in the ring as she does so. She then jumps over the ropes and appeals to the crowd.*
Carla: Well now, you look like the most suited to the wrestling environment so far…what’s your story?
Marie: (heavy New York accent) Ah…Carla, it’s nuttin’ short of fantastic to finally be face-ta-face with yez. You gotta great look, girl! That’s why at every event you’ve been at, I’ve been there to capture the perfect moment! I collect dese moments, I sell dem to all of your pro-wrestling magazines, and I keep the negatives to decorate my house…lemme tell ya…it’s an honor and a privilege to be in the same ring with you…and when I become an EWT superstar…it’ll be an honor to be part of the pictures that capture the moment…the shots that sell the whole promotion.
Carla: Cool introduction! Let’s hear it for Marie Riccioni, everyone!!
*The crowd pop as Marie makes her way back in line.*
Amber: So, like, ever take a picture of ME back in Beverly Hills? I’d sell, like, a million copies of any magazine if someone took the right picture…
Marie: Eh, sorry, but I don’t take pictures of just ANYONE, y’know…
*Amber looks incensed beyond belief at this, but Haruka calms her down, and holds onto her to stop her from jumping Marie.*
Carla: Our final guest…is from Toluca, Mexico…she is inspired by the heroes of her childhood…ladies and gentlemen…REINA MALVADA!!!!
*”Misirlou” hits, and Reina Malvada makes her way out! She is a luchadore, wearing a blue and gold mask with black hair flowing down the back of it, her costume blue and gold with a blue and white cape. She is wearing white boots. She gets down on one knee and prays at the entranceway before rising, making the sign of the Holy Trinity, and rushing to the ring, sliding in, and then charging to the middle rope on the opposite side of the ring, appealing to the crowd! Carla is stunned, and goes over to interview Reina.*
Carla: So, you are obviously a colorful character here…we don’t see too many female luchadores, and it’s a pity. Tell us a little more about yourself, Reina.
*Reina takes the microphone, and speaks into it, nearly breathless to be there in EWT.*
Reina: ¡Lucho... para el dios, para mi país, para todos mis héroes, y para todos mis admiradores!
Carla: Great! What do you plan on doing here in EWT?
Reina: ¡Continuaré luchando... porque quisiera que mis antepasados fueran orgullosos de mí!
Carla: Fantastic! Reina Malvada, everyone!!!
*Reina appeals to the crowd before standing back in line.*
Carla: Well, there you have it…seven kick-ass Harlots…but only one Girl Next Door can be crowned…ladies and gentlemen, the voting starts now. VOTE for who you want eliminated now, and the rest of them will go on to show…just what their finisher will be. So, who will go and who will stay…YOU decide!!!
*The Harlots pose in the ring as we fade to the next segment…*
|
|
|
Post by Koda, Master Crunchyroller on Sept 14, 2007 14:37:53 GMT -5
We fade in to Koda Kazar standing in the middle of the ring, his theme song still playing. Koda has a mic in his hand.
Koda: Cut the music. Cut the music! CUT THE GOD DAMN MUSIC!
Koda's music finally fades away.
Koda: That's better. God damn, I swear no one listens any more. So, at The Skies the Limit II, I was defeated by Exner, a hard fought match, however I can't shake something.....Exner! You are too damn soft!
At first I couldn't believe it when Job Bher told me that you took several pauses at perfect openings for you. I decided to check for myself...I saw the replay of the match over and over, and one thing is obvious. Exner, you're a vagina! You didn't have to hold back damn it!
If you took those opportunities that you had, maybe the match would've ended faster, and your win would've looked more impressive. Instead, you BARELY beat me, not that impressive, especially considering my condition going into the match.
If you're not going to take me seriously, then I'm going to have to become serious myself. Job, I'm sorry man, I know I promised me and you would be teaming up until we claimed the tag belts, but sorry bro, until I've taken care of this ass clown wannabe thinking he is The Question or Rorschach, the Fanboy Otaku Gamers are on hold.
I'm issuing a challenge to you, Exner! If you have the balls to face me again, I want a rematch with you! At the next PPV, me and you, one on one yet again. I won't leave this ring until you accept, you God damn wimp ass son of a b**** coward!
We fade to Exner, alone, backstage.
Exner:Koda, you call me soft, stupid, scared. Oh my friend, if you only knew. I am not the one who is scared. Exner is the personification of fear. Everything that makes you pause, clutch your chest, wipe your brow, is just an extension of me.
(Exner takes a long pause)
Exner: When you try to fall asleep, I am the branch scraping on your window, keeping you awake. I am the creaky floorboard, making you wonder just what type of ghoulies and nasties are capering around in your parlor.
(another pause)
Exner:The following morning, after a night of paranoia and insomnia, when you finally wake up out of the pit known as your quarters, I am the feeling that makes you take a double take once you walk by your bathroom mirror.
(another pause)
Exner: When you are eating, I am the morsel of unchewed round roast and potato that gets lodged in your trachea, slowly causing you to turn blue.
(another pause)
Exner: When you make your entrance to the ring, I am that second voice in the back of your head, making you ask if they really like you or if you're just a flavor of the month.
(yet another pause)
Exner: And finally Koda, when the lights fade and the overture begins to echo through the arena and the crowd falls silent with fear and wonderment, I am the hairs on the back of your neck.
*fade to black*
|
|
Rated X
Tommy Wiseau
The following post has been RATED X
Posts: 60
|
Post by Rated X on Sept 14, 2007 22:43:18 GMT -5
We fade into the Rated X locker room, where Jesse Nunez & Mike Corral are consoling Chad Michaels.
Chad: It's all my fault. If I held held on to Moxie stronger, if I had positioned him higher, he would still be here right now instead of in a hospital.
Mike: Chad, it wasn't your fault man. What happened to Moxie was an accident, plain and simple. Things like that happen.
Chad: *looking up* He has a broken neck because of me.
Jesse: It was not your fault man. You, Cass, & Moxie planned that spot a hundred times, and each time it was perfect. There are times when you just slip up.
Chad: *looking at Jesse now* And you put them out of wrestling.
Mike gets pissed and throws a chair at the door, getting Chad's attention.
Mike: LISTEN TO ME!!! What happened between you, Mox, & Cass was a botched move. Botches happen in wrestling. I've botched moves before, and it has seriously injured both me and my opponent. I've nearly died because of a missed move ehre and there. But you know what? I get up, I dust myself off, and I continue doing what I love to do. I LOVE wrestling Chad, and I know you do too. Just because you messed up a move does not mean you need to quit.
Chad: I wasn't gonna-
Mike: Don't bulls*** me Chad, I knoww hat you were thinking. I've been in that exact same place too. I thought I would have to find a new job after I messed up a move and tore my opponent's ACL. But I stuck it out, I recovered, and I'm still here. So ask yourself Chad: Do you still have the passion that you did when I met you? Do you still want to continue doing what you love? Do you still want to wrestle?
Mike gets up and leave as Jesse turns to Chad.
Jesse: Well, it was a good match. Except for the whole botch and all.
Chad: Shut up Jesse.
|
|
|
Post by bollywood on Sept 15, 2007 9:52:32 GMT -5
EWT ARENA – PARKING LOT
*The thudding sound of a head banging against steel echoes throughout the car park as a mentally disturbed and distraught Liam O’Neill is shown seated on the ground with his back against a dumpster. He rocks his head back and forward, showing little ill affect as it smacks against the bin behind him. His breathing is rapid and sounds more like a hiss while he holds his head. Clearly, his expatriation from Team Ireland and his increasingly declining mental state as left the once promising athlete an unstable shell of his former self. His orange locks fall over his face as he mumbles to himself.*
Liam: “I’m alone… they all left me… left me alone, they did. Not a soul left… no one here… all gone… deserted… exiled… banished… banished me, they did. Coach left… Aidan left… Shane left… Sean left… no one to go to… no one to turn to… alone… I’m all alone.”
*Lost in his incoherent ramblings, Liam fail to notice the approaching figures of a familiar couple of East Indian descent. One is male and dressed in stylish clothing and designer sunglasses while the other is female and is dressed in… very little. Seeing the troubled Liam, the man creeps up and throws himself before Liam’s field of vision.*
Mahavir Abha: “SURPRISE!!!”
*The sudden burst snaps Liam out of his trance and invokes a startled scream from the young Irishman, who promptly scurries away from the dumpster and to the nearest and darkest corner of the car lot. It isn’t long before he realizes that the ones who surprised him were no other than the Bollywood Big Shot Mahavir Abha and his girlfriend, the exotic and erotic Jasmyne.*
Mahavir: (laughing) “Ah, that was fun! Fun time surprising people! Much fun, yes?”
*Liam slowly returns to his feet, his posture slouched slightly and his head twitching while he fixes his glare on Mahavir and Jasmyne.*
Liam: “Y-y-y-y-you…”
*As Liam steps out of the darkness, Mahavir recognizes who his “surprise victim” is.*
Mahavir: “HE---------Y!!! It’s the psycho Irish guy from that team in green! Liam’s your name, yes? The one who pops the pills? You remember me? Remember Mahavir, yes? The big star from Mumbai. Guru of glitz and glamour! Oh and you remember Jasmyne, yes? Ha-ha! Jasmyne! Say hello again to the dangerous psycho Irish guy.”
Jasmyne: (sultry voice) “Hello again, dangerous psycho Irish guy.”
*She licks her lips and gives Liam a wink. With a grin, Mahavir points back at Jasmyne while looking at Liam.*
Mahavir: “Like what you see, yes?”
Liam: (slowly approaching) “You…”
Mahavir: “Yes. Me: Mahavir. She: Jasmyne. Like what you see, yes? Everyone does. You’re weird. Funny weird, though. Not the bad weird.”
*Suddenly Liam grabs Mahavir by the collar of his shirt and slams him back first into the dumpster.*
Liam: “YOU DID THIS!!!”
Mahavir: “Okay, this not funny weird.”
Liam: “They left me… they left me because of YOU! Coach said I was useless! Useless like you! Didn’t have time to deal with you or my “condition”! It’s your fault! ALL YOUR FAULT!!!”
Mahavir: “H-ha-ha… J-Jasmyne, a little help?”
*Mahavir looks to his girlfriend for assistance, only to find her checking her hair in the reflection of a nearby car window.*
Mahavir: (sighing) “Wow, she’s dumb. Thank goodness for that ass.”
*Mahavir looks back at Liam.*
Mahavir: “So… you say your friends left you, yes?”
*Liam nods his head quickly, breath hissing through his clinched teeth. After a brief pause, Mahavir smiles brightly.*
Mahavir: “Ha-ha! that’s good!”
Liam: (tilting his head to the side, puzzled) “Good? What’s so good about that?”
Mahavir: “We can be friends now! Like that tall black man and that short Asian fellow in those movies with the kung fu and dancing, yes?”
*Liam tightens his grip and gets in close to Mahavir’s face.*
Liam: “What makes you think I want to be your friend?”
Mahavir: “Because I know… your “secret”.”
*With that, Liam’s eyes widen in shock and his grip loosens. Gapped in disbelief, he turns away and begins to rambling to himself again.*
Liam: “No… no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Not good, not good, not good at all. No one can know. They’ll be mad at me, they won’t like. They won’t like it one bit. This is bad, very bad.”
*After adjusting his collar, Mahavir looks to Liam with his usual smile.*
Mahavir: “What are saying? This is good! This very good. Not very bad; very good, yes?”
Liam: “No, no. If they find out, Coach will…”
Mahavir: “Coach? That short fat guy with “Bandit and the Smokey” moustache? Forget him. You have talent, friend. I help you share that talent with all of world to see. Mahavir make you big star, yes? Almost big as Mahavir!”
*Mahavir extends his hand towards Liam, who looks back with uncertainty.*
Liam: “Friends…?”
Mahavir: “Friends.”
*Liam slowly moves his hand towards Mahavir’s. Hesitant at first, he finally meets up with it and the two shake hands. After they break away, Mahavir wraps his arm around Liam’s shoulder and the two begin to walk away.*
Mahavir: “You know, Liam. This is start of beautiful friendship. Jasmyne! You coming?”
*They both look back and see that she still checking herself out in the car window, all the while giving both men a good view of her shapely toned backside. With his trademark grin, Mahavir looks to Liam with his sunglasses lowered to the tip of his nose.*
Mahavir: “Like what you see, yes?”
*Liam exchanges looks from Mahavir to Jasmyne’s backside before looking back at Mahavir with wide smile, nodding rapidly. Mahavir chuckles to himself as he pushes his sunglasses back up and walks away with Liam, leaving Jasmyne behind, who apparently made a new friend herself.*
Jasmyne: (to her reflection in the car window) “Well, hello there sexy girl. What’s your name.”
*She winks at her reflection as the camera fades to black.*
|
|
|
Post by SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman on Sept 15, 2007 15:48:12 GMT -5
« My name is Finlay, and I looove to fight ! »
*Finlay’ s theme song can be heard through the speakers as the Irish fame makes his way to the ring. Of course, he’ s accompagnied by a certain l bastard… *
Announcer : Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall ! Here is the first contestant, hailing from Belfast, Ireland, Wheighing in at 235 lbs and being accompanied at ringside by the World Wrestling Entertainment Cruiserweight Champion Hornswoggle… FIIIINLAAAYYYY !!
*Finlay enters the ring, puts his hurley in a corner and waits for Mysth to appear while Hornswoggle stands at ringside.*
*A few seconds later, « Otherworld » blasts through the speakers and Mysth appears at the end of the ramp, with Ivy clutching his arm. Mysth looks in surprisingly good shape for someone who has faced Ferhago Crow three times and has then been thrown through a table… and in order to celebrate his first match since defeating Crow, Mysth is wearing a brand new attire. He is still stripped to the waist, but his arm gears are different : on his right arm, he has a small elbow pad and his forearm is covered with a black gear made of plastic on the top and of foam rubber and cloth below ( by « below ,» I mean the part of the gear that touches the arm ). The forearm isn’ t totally covered though as the bottom is appearant, only covered by two little leather belts that help tying this gear to the forearm. The elbow pad and the forearm gear touch each other, showing no skin between them, and are immediately followed by a big black fingerless glove. On the left arm, he has a black elbow pad which is slightly bigger than the one on the right arm. There is no forearm gear, though, and there is a fingerless glove that is the same as the one on the right arm, only with a slightly longer sleeve. He has a black leather belt, dark blue tights on the thighs and big black leg guard boots with big black knee pads. His mask is also slightly different. It is dark blue ( exactly like the tights ) with big points that reaches Mysth’ s jaw on both the right and left side and a smaller one on each side. They are talking and a camera approaches them in order to capture what they are saying.*
Ivy : So, you’ re sure you want to restart wrestling now ? I mean, there’ s no rush. You still have some scars from your last match against Crow and TJT threw you through that table… plus, it’ s Finlay you’ re facing, and he isn’ t exactly known for sticking to the rules. Look, he’ s got Hornswoggle with him…
Mysth : Honey, I actually… don’ t feel too bad. I don’ t wanna become rusty or something, and I want to let my future opponents know that if they’ re going to face me, they’ ll have to deal with my tenacity and my stamina. Maybe they’ ll at last think a second time before messing with me after that. And it' s too late to give up now that I am here. And besides, I always like to crush an Irish. *he smirks*
Ivy : You should really get over that Liam O’ Neill thing. You beat him, you showed that you are much better than him and you even drove him insane. Anyway, I’ ve gotta admit that your resistance and your stamina always impressed me. The’ re amazing but sometimes… they’ re a bit scary.
Mysth : Scary ?
Ivy : Well… you tend to be blinded by your fire to wrestle and I think you don’ t realize don’ t, but you’ re taking a lot of risks sometimes… and it really scares me… if something happened to you…
Mysth : …I see what you mean… but relax, honey… I promise you I’ ll take it easy…
Ivy : Yeah… I’ ll be watching that Hornwoggle dude, he’ s always up to some trick.
Announcer : Please welcome the French Connection ! The participant to tonight’ s match-up is from Strasbourg, France, he wheighs 218 lbs and is accompanied at ringside by « Sexually Suggestive » Ivy Rosepine… This is EWT’ s best kept secret, this is the Darkness In The Light, this… is… MYYYYYSTH !!
*Mysth and Ivy separate and Mysth clings on the ropes and faces the crowd as four fireworks explode, one at each corner of the ring. He enters the ring and looks at Ivy at ringside who blows him a kiss as a motivation. Mysth and Finlay prepare themselves for the battle. Meanwhile, Hornswoggle stands next to Ivy, proudly showing his belt around his waist.*
DING DING !
*The match is underway ! Mysth and Finlay run at each other and Mysth strikes the first blow with a series of punches to the face. He then tries for a Tornado DDT, but Finlay resists and grabs Mysth for a Suplex. He then comes near Mysth and wants to pick him up, but Mysth kicks Finlay in the forehead. Mysth quickly gets up and as Finlay is still stumbling, he hits a Dtopkick right in his chest ! Finlay is down and Mysth goes behind his head, applying a Dragon Sleeper ! Finlay us groaning from the pain. Mysth keeps the hold locked in tight and Finlay tries to get out of it as hard as he can. He almost manages to break the hold when Mysth suddenly grabs him by the hair and slams his head on the ground. He then goes on the side of Finlay’ s head, rises his right hand with a smlirk and pulls on his glove. The crowd starts cheering as they know well what this means, and they are right because Mysth applies the Iron Claw ! Finlay can be heard groaning even louder than before. At ringside, « Sexually Suggestive » Ivy Rosepine is looking at his dominating boyfriend with a proud smile on her face, while Hornswoggle is staring at Finlay with a very worried look on his.*
*Finlay eventually manages to get out of the hold and Mysth stares at his right hand with a rather devilish grin. They both get up and Finlay goes for a punch in the face, but Mysth raises his right arm and blocks it, only to get hit with Finlay’ s other arm. Finlay then Irish whips Mysth and hits a Shoulder Block. Finlay picks up Mysth and Irish whips him again, but Mysth counters and hits a Flying Clothesline that takes Finlay down ! At this very moment, Hornswoggle hops into the ring. This is happening behind Mysth’ s back and therefore he doesn’ t see it. Ivy, on the other hand, wastes no time and slides into the ring. Mysth is now picking up Finlay and brings him back on the mat with an Emerald Fusion. Hornswoggle sneaks behind Mysth and when he reaches him, kicks him in the ankle. Mysth grabs his ankle in order to nurse it, but the Little Bastard then kicks his hand, but doesn’ t see Ivy who comes and grabs him, performing a Backdrop on Hornswoggle. She then picks him up and hits him with… a Chokeslam ?? Hornswoggle crashes heavily on the mat. Ivy glares at her boyfriend with a playful smile, to which Mysth replies with a smile of his own, as if they were both thinking about the same thing. Ivy suddenly crouches… and covers Hornswoggle. Mysth slides on the mat and slams it with his right arm three times as if he was a referee counting a pin. After that, he slides out of the ring as Ivy is beaming and he grabs a microphone before getting back into the ring.*
Mysth : And your new WWE Cruiserweight champion… the somptuous « Sexually Suggestive » IVY ROSEPIIIIIIINE !!
*Mysth then takes the WWE Cruiserweight BELT and hands it to Ivy, who looks like she’ s in Heaven. She puts it around her waist and kisses Mysth n the cheek, then starts walking around like a model. After all that the referee, despite looking very amused, asks Ivy to leave the ring and Mysth to continue the match. Ivy obeys to the referee’ s order and slides out of the ring and brings Hornswoggle with her. Mysth then turns around and sees Finlay is slowly making it back to his feet, but Mysth grabs one of his hands, Irish whips him, runs to the ropes and hits the MYSTHICAL CHOKESLAM !! And he covers*
ONE
TWO
THREE !!
Announcer : Here is your winner… The Darkness In The Light, MYSTH !!
*»Otherworld » hits again as Ivy quickly gets back into the ring. She hugs her boyfriend, who then points at her waist to show the WWE Cruiserweight belt, which makes Ivy chuckle. After that, Mysth puts his hands around his girlfriend’ s hips.*
Mysth : *smiling* Are you reassured, my gorgeous Cruiserweight champ ?
*Ivy gives him a deep kiss as an answer.*
Ivy : I loved this match !!
*And after this image of the French couple victorious on the ring, we cut to the next segment.*
|
|
|
Post by raftshack on Sept 16, 2007 9:49:01 GMT -5
We fade in as we see the sight of somebody's lockerroom, as we see the sight of a familiar pink haired fool sleeping upside down like a bat, feet hanging from what looks like a trapeze which just happens to have been installed on the ceiling for the sole purpose of him using it to sleep. Soon after, an alarm goes off, as Zeleke immediately yelps, losing balancing, than landing face first in the floor.
Zeleke: DAMNED GRAVITY.... you'll meet yours soon!
He quickly pushes himself to his feet, shaking his pink haired mess around like a dog would to dry itself off, then walking over, grabbing this alarm clock as it rings.
Zeleke: YOU HAVE CREATED A SLUMBER DISTURBANCE FOR THE LAST TIME BABY!!!
He then charges full speed, chucking the alarm clock right out the locker room door, as it crashes to the outside, Zeleke quickly running over and shutting the door, looking back and forth with shifty eyes, before backing up and walking over to a nearby closet, shoving his head in, getting smacked right in the face and stumbling back, as Faboon steps out of this closet, letting out a loud yawn.
Faboon: Good morrow to thee my festive ferret... what's up with ya?!
Zeleke: I shan't mean to alarm... but I do believe our sleeping has caused us a terrible no showing... THE LIMITED SKIES FORSOOK US AND OUR MATCH!
Faboon looks over and chuckles to himself, then cartwheels past Zeleke, stopping behind him.
Faboon: Imbeseal... I'd have known your brain was lacking in it's rememberance. That match was thusly one to receive cancellation!
Zeleke: Gads?!
Faboon: Affirmitory. It seems... that events went down in the town all around and caused the match plan to drown... AND THAT AIN'T SOUND!
Zeleke: ROUND!!!
Faboon: POUND!!!
Zeleke: FOUND!!!!
Faboon: EVENING GOWN!!!
Zeleke: ... I TOLD YOU THAT WAS AT THE CLEANERATORS!
Faboon shakes his head, then rubs his pale white haired scalp.
Faboon: Hee hee... you need to walk upon the wild side, not LIVE ON IT!
Zeleke: Your jealousy is repuganating. You just wish you too could look like a sultry sow like my own being.
Faboon: THERE IS LITTLE TO NOTHING SULTRY ABOUT YOU YOUNG MAN!!!
Zeleke: ... You have not visited my webby site.
Zeleke grins, as Faboon lets out a bit of a shudder.
Faboon: We will never mind that and we will have never spoke of such a site again! No, for you see, our destiny is commanding that we are preparapared to invoke combat against our duos of demise... and send em all into the drink!
Zeleke: COFFEE?!
Faboon: NOT THAT BEVERAGE! That black juice is full of evility... it'll make them wild with fury! DO YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH SUCH NINCOMPOOPERY?!
Zeleke: ... I'm famished!
Zeleke walks back into the closet, realizing their's nothing edible in there, then running back out.
Faboon: Rations are dry you doof... I THOUGHT THE MEMO EXPLAINED SUCH THINGS!
Zeleke: Memo? I'm allergic to memos...
As if on cue, Sum Guy waltzs over with a stack of pancakes on a plate, stopping near the door way to look at the alarm clock on the floor outside.
Sum: Oh boy... free alarm clock!
Zeleke: THE HUNT BEGINNETH!
Zeleke charges and dives out of the room, as Sum Guy lets out a yelp of pain. The sound of ravenous gulping and chomping is heards as bits of pancake go everywhere, Faboon simply watching with a rather amused smirk on his face, as he moonwalks over to a nearby chair and flops into it.
Faboon: Nothing like starting the morn with a beautiful mauling...
Sum Guy: CANDY! IT HAPPENED AGAIN!!!
We quickly fade to commercial.
|
|
The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
|
Post by The Line on Sept 16, 2007 21:47:05 GMT -5
Alexa King, Jonathan Doe and Andy Duke, in street clothes, walk into the Cidal Squad locker room, turn on the lights, set their bags down on the bench. and see the stuffed animals in disarray on the floor. Duke: Looks like Craus, was here earlier. Well, at least he seems focused. Alexa, in the background, opens her bag and takes out her wrestling gear and places it next to her bag on the bench. She turns her back to the camera and begins to change completely oblivious to Duke and Doe talking in the foreground.Doe: So, you remember our wager from last week? Duke: Of course I do. How could I forget? So...I guess this is the beginning of our “contest”. Doe: Yep, I guess so. Duke: So, good luck. Duke extends his hand. Doe begins to extend his hand but draws it back.Doe: Your not gonna pull a “Ragnal” on me, will you? Duke: Of course not. We’re still a team, remember? Doe: Yeah. Duke: So, good luck? They shake handsDoe: Good luck. Duke: ‘Cause you’re gonna need it! Doe: Yeah, don’t be so sure of that. Alexastill with her back to the camera) Hey babe, can you help for a second? Duke: Sure ( he unhooks her bra). Alexa: Thanks( With her back still to the camera, as to not so "the goods", she begins to change into her wrestling gear). Duke: No problem Doe: So, who you facing tonight? Duke: Cody Rhodes. You? Doe: Johnny…(pulls piece of paper out of his pocket) Punch? Duke: Who? Doe: Exactly. Duke: Well, I’ve got to go out to the ring with ‘lexa. Doe: And I’m gonna try and see who exactly I’m facing tonight. Duke: Ok, see you later. Doe: See ya. Alexa, now completely changed, comes over to Duke, he puts his arm around her waist, and they leave as Doe sits down and begins to tape his wrists.
|
|
The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
|
Post by The Line on Sept 16, 2007 22:31:08 GMT -5
“She is Beautiful” by Andrew W.K. begins to play, and Alexa King and “Insecticidal” Andy Duke come out from the back.
Ring Announcer: Making her way to the ring, from Chewelah, Washington, being accompanied by “The Cidal Squad Captain” “Insecticidal” Andy Duke, she is “The Cidal Squad First Lady” Alexa….KING!!!
The camera pans to Alexa King’s opponent, who is already in the ring.
Ring Announcer: And her opponent, Jennifer….MAE!!!
After a brief description of the rules by the referee and a shaking of hands by both women, the bell rings, and here we go!
Joey Styles: Hello EWT Fans! We have what is scheduled to be a great women’s match tonight between a somewhat newer addition to the GND division Alexa King, and future WWE Diva Jennifer Mae.
Tazz: You’re right there. This has the makings to be a rocket buster, for more than one reason.
Joey: I don’t know if you can say that on TV. Either way, I think this will be a great match, as long as her…partner stays out of it.
Tazz: You won’t find me disagreeing with you partner. This is a one-on-one match, not a handicap match.
Joey: But you have to believe that the reason Duke is out here has gone beyond “moral support”.
Tazz: Eh, I’m inclined to believe you, but I’ll try and give Duke the benefit of the doubt.
Joey: I wish I could, but after what he did last week, I’m just a little bit skeptical. And the saddest thing about the whole thing is that I don’t even think Alexa realizes that Duke interfered.
Tazz: I think you might be right there, Joey.
The match starts with both women locking up in every traditional sense. Alexa throws Jennifer into the ropes with an Irish whip, ducks a charge, and hits Jennifer with a super kick.
Joey: I think Duke has been giving some lessons.
Tazz: I don’t think that’s the only thing he’s giving Alexa
Joey: With each passing comment, your paycheck gets smaller and smaller.
Alexa locks Jennifer in a rear chinlock, but Jennifer is able to stand up thanks to a rally of support by the crowd, and hits Alexa with a jaw breaker. This does not sit very well with Andy Duke, as he begins to get very angry at ringside, audibly cursing, and now removing his shirt, garnering a small reaction from the fan girls. The ref goes towards the ropes and warns Duke that if he even thinks about getting involved, he’ll disqualify Alexa. This makes Duke even more upset, causing an argument to break out between the two.
Joey: Duke better watch what he says, if he gets ejected here, that could, in reality, cause Alexa the match.
Tazz: Right you are Joey.
During this altercation, Jennifer Mae lifts Alexa up from the mat and hits her with an Implant DDT and makes the cover. But the ref is arguing with Duke, thus not seeing the cover. After about 6 or 7 seconds, Jennifer goes over to where the verbal confrontation is taking place, and she begins to get into it with the referee.
Alexa begins to rise from the mat, and sees that Jennifer’s back is turned towards her, but she does not see the referee, because Jennifer is standing so that the referee is in between her and Duke, who is still on the apron. Alexa charges at Jennifer and hits her from behind, who accidentally hit’s the ref with an accidental forearm to the face ,who falls into Duke, thus knocking the referee out. Jennifer is not happy about that, and she takes Alexa and throws her over the top rope.
Duke sees this as his opportunity to make sure Alexa wins, and he comes into the ring behind Jennifer, against her knowledge, when she turns around, she is met with a huge Superkick! Duke’s happens to be a little more powerful than Alexa’s, and Jennifer is knocked out.
Joey: Oh God, not again!
Duke goes to the outside, and picks up Alexa, and gingerly places her underneath the bottom rope. She is able to crawl towards Jennifer and make a weak cover, just as the referee begins to get up.
1
2
3
Joey: I can’t believe it! Andy Duke cheated again on his girlfriend’s behalf! And once again, she is completely oblivious to it all!
Tazz: Hold on to your hat there, Joey. I’m sure things will get sorted out eventually.
Ring Announcer: Here is your winner, by pinfall, Alexa King!
Andy Duke helps Alexa backstage as we fade to commercial.
|
|
Exner
Mike the Goon
Posts: 16
|
Post by Exner on Sept 16, 2007 23:17:50 GMT -5
Generic rock music plays, as KC James comes out to little reaction.
Ring Announcer: Making his way to the ring, from Memphis, Tennessee, weighing in at 240 pounds, KC James.
The Lights fade to black, with only a yellow spotlight on the entrance ramp, as Clint Mansell’s “Summer Overture” begins to play. Exner comes out into the spotlight to a mixed reaction. As he moves down to the ring, the spotlight follows him.
Ring Announcer: And his opponent, from New York, New York, weighing in at 205 pounds, EXNER!
Tazz: This guy gives me the creeps.
Joey Styles: Exner looked very impressive this Tuesday night against Koda at the PPV.
Tazz: He did, but I can’t help to agree with Koda. Exner could have done a lot more harm, but appeared to be soft.
Joey: Well if that interview he gave just a couple of days ago is any indication, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem from here on out.
The bell rings, signaling the start of this match-up between the two, and Exner decides that he doesn’t want this match to take all that long, as he starts the match with a super kick!
Joey: Paul, or in this case KC, is dead! This match might be over already.
Tazz: But knowing Exner, even if the match is ready to end, Exner won’t end it any time soon.
Joey: Looks like you are right!
Exner begins to asecend the top rope. He hits him with a cannonball senton from the from the top rope.
Joey: The Magic Bullet!
The referee begins to yell at Exner, telling him that he should consider ending this match, more or less. Exner looks to be taking that consideration to whatever heart he has. He makes the cover.
1
2
NO! Exner pulls the shoulder off the mat before the 3-count can be made. He picks James up, and throws him into the corner. This can only mean one thing! Exner comes running towards the corner….FEARFUL SYMMETRY! James stumbles around, and Exner hit’s the Second Shooter! But before Exner can go for the cover, the ref signals for the bell to be rang, and talks to the ring announcer.
Ring Announcer: Your winner of this match, due to referee’s decision, EXNER!
Joey Styles: The ref had to stop this match. There was no telling what else would be done to KC James if the match continued.
Tazz: I have to agree with you there, Joey. And even though he won Exner doesn’t seem too happy.
Exner Goes out of the ring and looks under it. He comes back up with a string of barbed-wire, fashioned to make almost a brass-knuckle type weapon. He comes back into the ring, and goes to the 2nd rope. FIST DROP from the 2nd rope! He begins to punch James repeatedly in the face, causing both KC James’s face and Exner’s fist to become bloodied. Additional referees and security come down to the ring to break things up, but Exner leaves on his own accord as “Summer Overture” begins to play.
|
|
The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
|
Post by The Line on Sept 17, 2007 0:23:15 GMT -5
More generic rock music plays, as Cody Rhodes comes out.
Ring Announcer: Making his way to the ring, from Charlotte, North Carolina, weighing in at 232 pounds, CODY RHODES!
“Kashmir” by Led Zeppelin plays over the loud speaker, as the lights fade to the Cidal Squad colors of Red and Black. Fog emits from the center of the ramp, as gold sparks rain from the ceiling to the sides of the ramp (ala Christian). Duke rises through the floor of the center of the ramp, decked out in a gaudy, Ric Flair-esque robe to top off this already grandiose entrance, and makes his way to the ring, with Alexa King at his side.
Ring Announcer: And his opponent, being accompanied by “The Cidal Squad First Lady” Alexa King, from Chewelah, Washington, weighing in at 215 pounds, The Cidal Squad Captain, “Insecticidal” ANDY….DUUUUKE!.
Andy Duke takes off his robe, once again making the fan girls pop, a little to the chagrin of Alexa. Duke gives her a good luck peck on the cheek, and we are ready to start this match!
Joey: Another great match here for you tonight, ladies and gentlemen. And what a treat. Its pretty rare to see Andy Duke out here in a singles match.
Tazz: That it is. And even rarer will be what we’ll see later tonight, and that’s Jonathan Doe in a singles match. I think the dude’s been in maybe two, three singles matches here in EWT.
Joey: I think you’re right. Well, lets hope that Andy Duke remembers how to get it done on his own, at least for his sake.
The match starts off with a basic lock up in the ring. Duke pushes Rhodes back, who does a backwards summersault, stands up, runs, and goes for a headscissor takedown, but Duke is able to counter it with a powerbomb. Duke is having a great start to this match so far.
Tazz: When I watch this match, Joey, I can’t help but think of the classics that Cody’s dad Dusty and Ric Flair used to have back in the old NWA.
Joey: Well, Cody’s got Dusty’s blood running through his veins, and Duke definitely has Ric Flair’s level of cockiness. But until he starts winning World Titles, its unjustified.
Tazz: Well, by those standards, until Cody starts winning belts, the Rhodes name is unjustified as well.
Joey: Well, I wouldn’t go that far.
Duke locks Cody in a single leg Boston crab in the center of the ring, but Cody is able to crawl to the ropes. Duke breaks the hold, and begins to stomp on the back of Cody’s right knee, potentially causing permanent damage to it.
Cody gets up, but his leg buckles underneath him, causing him to go down to one knee. Duke uses this as an opportunity to potentially end this match, and hits Cody with a Shining Wizard! This one way be over. Duke goes for the cover!
1
2
3...NO! Cody kicks out at the last possible moment. For the 2nd time tonight, Duke is livid, and for the 3rd time tonight, the fan girls get excited. Duke goes to the top rope, looking for the 450 splash, but there is no water in the pool, as Duke gets nothing but canvas.
Cody is now in the drivers seat, but as a 1-legged man, his options are really pretty limited. He walks over to Duke, very slowly, and lifts him off the mat. It looks like he’s going to go for a DDT, but Duke counters it in a very innovative way, by kicking him in the front of his right knee, possibly breaking his leg!
Joey: Oh my god! I think I’m going to loose my lunch!
Tazz: That leg has to be broken. If Cody is able to continue, he might even be more hardcore than me!
Duke locks in an Cidal-lock, and Cody has no choice but to tap almost immediately.
Ring Announcer: Here is your winner, by submission, “Insecticidal” ANDY…DUUUUUKE! Alexa King comes into the ring to congratulate her man as medical personal comes into the ring to tend to Cody Rhodes and his leg. Duke puts his face close to a camera, and says.
Duke: That’s one Johnny-boy, that’s one!
|
|
The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
|
Post by The Line on Sept 17, 2007 0:47:01 GMT -5
Andy Duke and Alexa King walk into the locker room, both still in their wrestling gear. The have the following conversation while in an intimate embrace.
Alexa: You did great out there tonight.
Duke: Oh, not nearly as good as you.
Alexa: The thing about that is, I don’t remember much of my match. I remember being hit with the DDT, and then winning. I guess I got knocked out for a while. I’ll have to watch the tape of it sometime or something.
Duke: Uh.. No you won’t. I’ll fill you in on everything.
They begin to kiss, as someone off camera clears their throat. The camera pans to Jonathan Doe, leaning in the corner.
Duke: Holy Jesus! How long have you been there.
Doe: Oh, long enough. Now if you both will excuse me, I have to win a match, and I’ll leave you two to your own…devices.
Doe leaves.
Duke: Dammit! I hate it when he does that! Now, where were we?
Fade out.
|
|
|
Post by Jonathan Doe on Sept 17, 2007 1:11:16 GMT -5
The Coil Remix of “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails begins to play, as the arena lights fade to the signature Cidal red and black, accompanied by the usual fog. Unlike any usual entrance, though, such screen effects as static and flashes of religious iconography are shown. Jonathan Doe finally rises from the stage and makes his way to the ring.
Ring Announcer: Making his way to the ring, from Sin City, weighing 245 pounds, “Sinnercidal” Jonathan Doe!
Tazz: I may have just seen the only entrance creepier than Exner’s.
Joey Styles: This is a different side to Jonathan Doe than we’re used to seeing. Let’s see if it crosses-over to in-ring success.
Ring Announcer: And his opponnent, already in the ring
Jonathan Doe doesn’t wait for the introduction, as he attacks Johnny Punch with a HUGE mafia kick to the face. That might be it! But before Doe can go for a cover, “Kashmir” by Led Zeppelin plays. “The Cidal Squad First Lady” Alexa King and “Insecticidal” Andy Duke, now in their street clothes, come out to the ramp, but only to the ramp.
Joey: What are they doing out here?
Tazz: I don’t know. But what I do know is that you can cut this tension with a knife.
Joey: And you wanna know the crazy thing? These two are stable mates! They’re best friends! But if this continues, that might end.
Tazz: You’re right. If this continues, this friendly rivalry maybe move beyond the point of being friendly.
Jonathan Doe just stares at Duke and King. Johnny Punch see’s this as his chance, and he goes for a school boy rollup!
1
Kick-out at one by Doe! And that only made Doe angry. He begins to lay into Punch with a series of punches, slaps, and chops. Visible welts and bruises are beginning to form on Punch’s head and chest, and this match has only been going on for a few minutes! Doe picks him up for a chokeslam, and hits it! While Punch is on the ground, Doe sets him up for a curb stomp, and hits with a vicious authority.
Tazz: I don’t think I’ve ever seen Doe this focused, or angry before.
Joey: You’re right there. And if he doesn’t go for the win soon. We’re going to see an injury for sure, I can guarantee it. That is, if we haven’t already seen one in this match.
Tazz: Doe needs to go for the pin here. If he continues this assault, EWT officials aren’t going to want to book him any more.
Doe picks Punch of the ground, and positions himself behind him. Looks like he’s going for a…yes! BACKDROP DRIVER! Punch landed right on the top of his head.
Joey: Oh my god!
Tazz: As a man who’s suffered neck injuries before, Johnny Punch will be lucky if he’ll be able to walk after that move.
Joey: Not to take anything away from the severity of that move, but I promise I’ll have a witty name for it by next week.
Doe goes for the cover.
1
2
3
Ring Announcer: Here is your winner by pinfall, “Sinnercidal” Jonathan DOE!
Jonathan Doe stares up the entrance ramp at Duke and King, who both have looks of shock and awe on their faces. Maybe even fear.
Fade to Black.
|
|
Rated X
Tommy Wiseau
The following post has been RATED X
Posts: 60
|
Post by Rated X on Sept 17, 2007 2:47:30 GMT -5
We fade in to see Jesse Nunez, prepring for his match as Sum Guy stands beside him.
Sum: Hello EWT'ers, I'm Sum Guy and I can't see the color purple. Here with me now is the man that will take on the man they call Joe Mama, Jesse Nunez.
Jesse: What you say 'bout my mama?
Sum: Huh?
Jesse: Huh?
Both have a "O.o" look on their face before continuing.
Sum: Jesse, what are your thoughts on taking on Joe in just a couple of minutes.
Jesse: *Really really fast* Oooh yeah baby! J-Nu right here in EWT, in the infamous EWT Arena right here in Arid-Zona. We're back again after a brief "hiatus" and I... actually have a match. That's right people, J-Nu has a match for the first time in a looooooooong time. And even though I have to face Sum's mom..
Sum: What?
Jesse: I'm flying high baby! I've been going from Arid-zona to Chicago to New York to Miami to Chicago again to staying there for a while because I lost a bet and then my luggage got stolen by this one chick..... but nonetheless, Jesse Nunez has finally made it back!! And to that one chick in Chi-Town, I'm comin' fo yo ass chica.
Sum: Sounds kinky.
Jesse: I know huh? Anyways, tonight, I am going to go out there and makes Sum's moms beg for mercy.
Sum: What?
Jesse: And after I'm done, as she's begging for mercy, I'll toss her onto a kid or something.
Sum: Why?
Jesse: Because those little snot rockets think they're soooo great. Man I just wanna punch one in the mouth. But still! Tonight is Jesse Nunez's time to shine, and dammit, I'm gonna f***ing SPARKLE!!! Bling Bling Bit*h's!!
Jesse walks off doing the gangsta walk as Sum turns to the camera.
Sum: What did he say 'bout my momma?
FADE TO THE MATCH
|
|