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Post by Vice honcho room temperature on Dec 1, 2009 11:29:57 GMT -5
When he has kidnapped her? Torture and interrogate, try to woo her, just wait because he knows Mario is after her, wait for the ransom, treat her as a PoW per Nimbus land convention, play Candyland, or something else?
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Post by angryfan on Dec 1, 2009 11:31:27 GMT -5
Well, when you sonsider that all the Kuppa Kids call Peach "Mommy", I think that says a lot, as well as provides disturbing visuals.
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Push R Truth
Patti Mayonnaise
Unique and Special Snowflake, and a pants-less heathen.
Perpetually Constipated
Posts: 39,372
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Post by Push R Truth on Dec 1, 2009 11:41:30 GMT -5
I still think that Mario is the one stealing Peach from Bowser.
It's not like Peach ever resists. She just halfheartedly yells "save me Mario!" just to keep up the ruse.
Her and Bowser probably make German Scat Films in the bowels of an Airship.
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Post by Triple H buried SnS on Dec 1, 2009 11:48:39 GMT -5
Clones her and starts up a mailorder princess company, Princess for Less!
No castle is complete without one!
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Post by taylorandborland on Dec 1, 2009 11:49:29 GMT -5
I hate TV Tropes for the most part, but they had a great theory on what's really going in the SMB games:
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on Dec 1, 2009 12:14:39 GMT -5
At the end of Super Mario Sunshine, we do find out that Princess Peach is not Bowser Jr.'s Mom.
I do know that Bowser does want her to marry him. So I guess originally he tried to woo her to marry him, but now....he really doesnt care how they get married.
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Post by Ash Kingston on Dec 1, 2009 13:03:22 GMT -5
...I now offer a theory I made in early 2008 during a discussion with a friend of mine, presented here with all names changed and edited so it can... ya know... not be smacked down by mods. Revy: By the way, wanna hear my theory on why Bowser kidnaps Zelda? It's quite good. Friend: Oh lord...go ahead Revy: OK, so we all know that Peach is a giant whore. I think the two of them are having an affair behind Mario's back, and Bowser kidnaps her so that she can have his illegitimate bastard offspring. Revy: It explains where the Koopa Kids came from in SMB3/SMW, explains Bowser Jr, and explains why she wears such a big dress. Friend: That doesn't explain why Bowser kidnaps Zelda tho Revy: ... Revy: ****. Revy: I meant Peach. Revy: Goddamn you, brain! Friend: You said Zelda, I demand twisted Bowser/Zelda theory Revy: Oh. Revy: Well, uh...mistaken identity? Revy: Zelda likes giant turtle wang? Friend: lulz Revy: Her alter ego is a nympho who would go so far as to dress like a man to try and get Link, who we all know is really quite could possibly be gay, into the sack? Friend: Friend: Epic
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B.B.M
Hank Scorpio
Scavenger Hunt All-Star
Where did the Lime go?
Posts: 7,404
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Post by B.B.M on Dec 1, 2009 13:06:34 GMT -5
I like the fact people have thought long and hard about this.
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Post by Ash Kingston on Dec 1, 2009 13:14:46 GMT -5
I like the fact people have thought long and hard about this. Hey, when you can think of something better to do on a Friday night than shoot the breeze and theorize about Bowser's devious intentions with Princess Zelda Peach, you let me know!
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B.B.M
Hank Scorpio
Scavenger Hunt All-Star
Where did the Lime go?
Posts: 7,404
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Post by B.B.M on Dec 1, 2009 13:27:12 GMT -5
I like the fact people have thought long and hard about this. Hey, when you can think of something better to do on a Friday night than shoot the breeze and theorize about Bowser's devious intentions with Princess Zelda Peach, you let me know! Drinking
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Grendel
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
But ... why is all the rum gone?
Posts: 17,593
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Post by Grendel on Dec 1, 2009 13:32:42 GMT -5
I thinks he holds her captive and makes her watch him perform his musical one man show of Hamlet, with him playing all the parts.
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livetowin
Dennis Stamp
Just Keep Walkin'
Don't be negatin'!
Posts: 4,430
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Post by livetowin on Dec 1, 2009 14:15:17 GMT -5
Hey, when you can think of something better to do on a Friday night than shoot the breeze and theorize about Bowser's devious intentions with Princess Zelda Peach, you let me know! Drinking Going to catch a movie.
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B.B.M
Hank Scorpio
Scavenger Hunt All-Star
Where did the Lime go?
Posts: 7,404
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Post by B.B.M on Dec 1, 2009 14:18:03 GMT -5
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Bo Rida
Fry's dog Seymour
Pulled one over on everyone. Got away with it, this time.
Posts: 24,162
Member is Online
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Post by Bo Rida on Dec 1, 2009 14:18:28 GMT -5
Peach's cronies receive favourable status within the mushroom kingdom and are afforded more luxuries than Bowser and his minions.
He just wants fair treatment for his people so he kidnaps her so he can negotiate new terms between them, so far she's agreed to allow him and a limited number of allies to compete in sporting events.
Alternatively Bowser's inside story has made it clear that his minions are parasites and sycophants, maybe he just wants somebody he can talk too.
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Post by Avalanche Alvarez on Dec 1, 2009 14:22:26 GMT -5
When he has kidnapped her? Torture and interrogate, try to woo her, just wait because he knows Mario is after her, wait for the ransom, treat her as a PoW per Nimbus land convention, play Candyland, or something else? He shows Peach the "Twillight" website that he built. And she laughs. And he weeps.
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Welfare Willis
Crow T. Robot
Pornomancer 555-BONE FDIC Bonsured
Game Center CX Kacho on!
Posts: 44,259
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Post by Welfare Willis on Dec 1, 2009 14:24:42 GMT -5
Drinking on a bus while watching a movie.
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Post by Pervy Stone Cold on Dec 1, 2009 14:47:21 GMT -5
As a variation on what Shawn Michaels had done, Bowser is "seeing Peachy days."
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Post by Banjo Is Broken on Dec 1, 2009 14:59:00 GMT -5
Part of me says the he wants to eat her, but part of me also says that he secretly wants to be her. I mean come on. Who here hasn't wished they were a princess at one time or another? What? Hey, don't look at me like that!
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Post by Kevin Hamilton on Dec 1, 2009 15:21:29 GMT -5
Makes her wax his shell. Not even in a euphemistic sense, it's probably really hard to reach back there.
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on Dec 1, 2009 15:30:21 GMT -5
I here Peach gives a great....you know. Why do you think Bowser has her in the same helipod as him in Super Mario World, but not sticking half her body out like Bowser does?
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