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Post by "Handsome" Whitey Fats on Jul 21, 2010 18:33:17 GMT -5
And now.....another Reading from the Book of Madness: "Take heed all those that seek to destroy the Prophet or those that assist him for you shall fail. All who commit the Sin of Sanity shall succumb to the Way."
Let it be known....that Pride goeth before the fall and ALL STORIES END. Jazzman, Colt, you've made the mistake of getting on the bad side of my employer and questioning his motives. While I do not pretend to know them, it's my job to ensure his victory. At Botch at the Beach Madness WILL Reign. It's funny, you'd think I'd get sick of all this Pride goeth before the fall crap but I'm not at all. Everytime someone says that I laugh a little bit and realize they must not know the history of the group itself, so how about a history lesson for those who remain blind to the truth of which they attempt to seek. Ahem... a reading from the year one history annals of the WWCF... In the storied history of this company many stables have come and gone. 2 such stables were among the most powerful of their time in The Story and The Pride. The Story, consisting of Colt, Above Average and Evil M took this company to heights most could not imagine with Colt and Average being the first two men from a single stable to hold the world Title and IF titles at the same time. Meanwhile The Pride was they up and coming answer to the story consisting of Jazzman, MOP, and a mysterious and little known figure known as Metylerca. Once the group officially disbanded, Jazzman and MOP went on to become the World and IF champions respectfully and main evented Gookermania 2 against two members of The Story with Jazzman defeating Above Average and MOP defeating Colt. Well, now that that's done with, let's talk about the match Colt and I have next week against Whitey and BRB. Let us first start with the self proclaimed 'wrestling legend' himself Whitey Fats. Now two true stars and legends of this company will prove the world what a shame you are. You wish to compare yourself to the likes of Colt, Amigo, Myself, Naitch... you sir are a fool. you may have gotten one over on Colt, but beware, those who do get one over on him, never get a second chance. The other part of this equation is a man who I feel responsible for putting him in his state right now and that is BRB. I know that you felt the wraith of the new and improved Takin' The A Train and that, combined with the numerous volts you felt in that electric chair and I have made peace with myself for doing what I did and I can't wait to see you in a ring again. But here's what you need to know about yourself BRB, you were one of the most feared men in this company and you wrestled that way every night. I, this company, and our fans want that BRB back again. So in closing let me leaving you men with this. You can say that stories end, you can say that pride will fall, but Colt and I are still standing. On Monday, you'll know the true definition of madness... repeating the same events over and over again expecting a different conclusion, we will leave BATB victorious, bank on it. I'll speak up so you don't miss anything, old timer. There comes a time in every man's life when he has to ask himself if it's worth it. Is it worth you getting pinned by the Wrestling Messiah, 1-2-3 in the middle of the ring, just like I did to your "long term companion" on Monday?
Wrestling Messiah is not a name I chose. It was a name bestowed on me by the fans when they realized I had the class, the composure, and yes, the money, to be the face of this company. The fans write me everyday asking when we'll see you in the main event, Messiah, we are sick of seeing the same four people. We need a man to show us the way, to lead us to a better a life, to bring honor and dignity to this company the way only Daddy Phat Sax can.
Come the Botch, it won't be the beginning of the end. But it might be the end of the beginning.
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Fiddleford H. McGucket
El Dandy
My Mind's been gone for 30-odd years! Can't Break what's already broken!
Posts: 8,748
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Post by Fiddleford H. McGucket on Jul 22, 2010 15:44:55 GMT -5
Greetings from the Way of Madness......I seem to have been remiss in my previous ramblings and warnings. General........I will end you. I will make you wish you had stayed in the Jungles with your hideous Ape-Wife. I will make you renounce the Sin of Sanity and drive you mad with pain. Botch at the Beach will not be your Waterloo, it will be your Cannae. I will not only remain undefeated, I will remove you from the WWCF by force. I am not the same goofy moron that debuted against you 3 short weeks ago.....I'm something more Madness has granted me a clarity to my thoughts that sanity didn't provide. My Book saw to that....guided by Madness I am a being that wishes only to achieve my ends regardless of the consequences. To put in Bluntly.....General, you don't matter to me. When I destroy you body and Mind at Botch at the Beach I'll simply move on to my next conquest. I am unwavering on the Way, you....are simply a stepping stone.
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Post by BoilerRoomBrawler on Jul 22, 2010 20:56:24 GMT -5
And now.....another Reading from the Book of Madness: "Take heed all those that seek to destroy the Prophet or those that assist him for you shall fail. All who commit the Sin of Sanity shall succumb to the Way."
Let it be known....that Pride goeth before the fall and ALL STORIES END. Jazzman, Colt, you've made the mistake of getting on the bad side of my employer and questioning his motives. While I do not pretend to know them, it's my job to ensure his victory. At Botch at the Beach Madness WILL Reign. It's funny, you'd think I'd get sick of all this Pride goeth before the fall crap but I'm not at all. Everytime someone says that I laugh a little bit and realize they must not know the history of the group itself, so how about a history lesson for those who remain blind to the truth of which they attempt to seek. Ahem... a reading from the year one history annals of the WWCF... In the storied history of this company many stables have come and gone. 2 such stables were among the most powerful of their time in The Story and The Pride. The Story, consisting of Colt, Above Average and Evil M took this company to heights most could not imagine with Colt and Average being the first two men from a single stable to hold the world Title and IF titles at the same time. Meanwhile The Pride was they up and coming answer to the story consisting of Jazzman, MOP, and a mysterious and little known figure known as Metylerca. Once the group officially disbanded, Jazzman and MOP went on to become the World and IF champions respectfully and main evented Gookermania 2 against two members of The Story with Jazzman defeating Above Average and MOP defeating Colt. Well, now that that's done with, let's talk about the match Colt and I have next week against Whitey and BRB. Let us first start with the self proclaimed 'wrestling legend' himself Whitey Fats. Now two true stars and legends of this company will prove the world what a shame you are. You wish to compare yourself to the likes of Colt, Amigo, Myself, Naitch... you sir are a fool. you may have gotten one over on Colt, but beware, those who do get one over on him, never get a second chance. The other part of this equation is a man who I feel responsible for putting him in his state right now and that is BRB. I know that you felt the wraith of the new and improved Takin' The A Train and that, combined with the numerous volts you felt in that electric chair and I have made peace with myself for doing what I did and I can't wait to see you in a ring again. But here's what you need to know about yourself BRB, you were one of the most feared men in this company and you wrestled that way every night. I, this company, and our fans want that BRB back again. So in closing let me leaving you men with this. You can say that stories end, you can say that pride will fall, but Colt and I are still standing. On Monday, you'll know the true definition of madness... repeating the same events over and over again expecting a different conclusion, we will leave BATB victorious, bank on it. BRB: I keep hearing that I was really something in that ring. I also keep hearing that you're really something in that ring. I'll tell this company what. I'm going to try to train with as many people as I can to make myself a new man. And Jazzman, win or lose, may I start with you?
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Post by BoilerRoomBrawler on Jul 22, 2010 20:59:05 GMT -5
I would be honored to teach you how to wrestle again... As for the other... The Wrestling Messiah is a lot of things, but slim and trim is not one of them Well, at 250 I'm far from "Slim" but if You'd be willing to submit....erm......convert to the Way of Madness I'd be more than willing to train you. Trust in the truth that comes from my Book of Madness and we'll have you away from dyslexic spelling bees and back in the squared circle comitting atrocities jhust like old times.BRB: You seem to have things figured out in this company, but I'm not sure if you truly have the path that I must take. I've considered it, but I wish to find a better person to help me lose weight.
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Jazzman
King Koopa
Trombone Shorty > Your Favorite Musician
Posts: 11,231
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Post by Jazzman on Jul 22, 2010 21:13:50 GMT -5
It's funny, you'd think I'd get sick of all this Pride goeth before the fall crap but I'm not at all. Everytime someone says that I laugh a little bit and realize they must not know the history of the group itself, so how about a history lesson for those who remain blind to the truth of which they attempt to seek. Ahem... a reading from the year one history annals of the WWCF... In the storied history of this company many stables have come and gone. 2 such stables were among the most powerful of their time in The Story and The Pride. The Story, consisting of Colt, Above Average and Evil M took this company to heights most could not imagine with Colt and Average being the first two men from a single stable to hold the world Title and IF titles at the same time. Meanwhile The Pride was they up and coming answer to the story consisting of Jazzman, MOP, and a mysterious and little known figure known as Metylerca. Once the group officially disbanded, Jazzman and MOP went on to become the World and IF champions respectfully and main evented Gookermania 2 against two members of The Story with Jazzman defeating Above Average and MOP defeating Colt. Well, now that that's done with, let's talk about the match Colt and I have next week against Whitey and BRB. Let us first start with the self proclaimed 'wrestling legend' himself Whitey Fats. Now two true stars and legends of this company will prove the world what a shame you are. You wish to compare yourself to the likes of Colt, Amigo, Myself, Naitch... you sir are a fool. you may have gotten one over on Colt, but beware, those who do get one over on him, never get a second chance. The other part of this equation is a man who I feel responsible for putting him in his state right now and that is BRB. I know that you felt the wraith of the new and improved Takin' The A Train and that, combined with the numerous volts you felt in that electric chair and I have made peace with myself for doing what I did and I can't wait to see you in a ring again. But here's what you need to know about yourself BRB, you were one of the most feared men in this company and you wrestled that way every night. I, this company, and our fans want that BRB back again. So in closing let me leaving you men with this. You can say that stories end, you can say that pride will fall, but Colt and I are still standing. On Monday, you'll know the true definition of madness... repeating the same events over and over again expecting a different conclusion, we will leave BATB victorious, bank on it. BRB: I keep hearing that I was really something in that ring. I also keep hearing that you're really something in that ring. I'll tell this company what. I'm going to try to train with as many people as I can to make myself a new man. And Jazzman, win or lose, may I start with you? ''Look man, you need the help and I still feel like I owe you after what I did. This can work BRB, we can make it happen.
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Dave at the Movies
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
VINTAGE D-DAY DAVE! Always cranking dat thing.
Posts: 18,228
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Post by Dave at the Movies on Jul 23, 2010 1:58:19 GMT -5
(Dave and Alexa Anderson are sitting in a booth at a throwback heavy metal 80s club on the Sunset Strip in Los Angeles. Dave is strumming his guitar.)
You know. Ever since this past Monday I can't stop thinking about how I banged one of my pricey wicked guitars over the head of that good for nothing Square. Sure he has had past success, but you know I never liked the guy. Why? Because a while back when I was still the CEO of WWCF I started an organization called WWCF Corporate. We were the top faction for months. I got Square's partner Starshine to join but of course like the loser he is Square refused. He refused because just like his new partner Hangman he doesn't know how to be a winner. He doesn't know how to be rock star wrestling icons like Headbanger Man and I have become. We have the belts, we have the fame, we have the money. The Human Hate Machines have absolutely nothing but a bad attitude. When Botch at the Beach comes next week Headbanger Man and I are going to show why we are the greatest tag team in WWCF history!!! We've beaten them all. Even the has-beens called The Southwest Connection, Tyfo and Little Naitch.
Our lead singer Viva may be stuck in a rut right now by being treated unfairly by that job stealing phony Drakin, but before we take care of that business we have some Human Hate Machine ass to kick.
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Post by BoilerRoomBrawler on Jul 23, 2010 14:27:02 GMT -5
BRB: I keep hearing that I was really something in that ring. I also keep hearing that you're really something in that ring. I'll tell this company what. I'm going to try to train with as many people as I can to make myself a new man. And Jazzman, win or lose, may I start with you? ''Look man, you need the help and I still feel like I owe you after what I did. This can work BRB, we can make it happen. BRB: All right, that's what I'm talking about! Let's start training after Botch at the Beach this Monday because I want to go in seeing where I stand as a wrestler at the moment. Whitey, don't worry man, I'm still your faithful employee, but I want to be better, and if I'm going to be better then I'll have to learn from the best and I'm starting with Jazzman. This amnesia thing might not be so bad. I think that this is the beginning of a new destiny, a new journey, and at Botch at the Beach, we'll see how the first step looks.
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Square
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Official Ambassador
Grand Poobah of Scavenger Hunts 2011
Square-Because he looks good at all the right angles.
Posts: 18,702
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Post by Square on Jul 23, 2010 14:59:18 GMT -5
(Dave and Alexa Anderson are sitting in a booth at a throwback heavy metal 80s club on the Sunset Strip in Los Angeles. Dave is strumming his guitar.) You know. Ever since this past Monday I can't stop thinking about how I banged one of my pricey wicked guitars over the head of that good for nothing Square. Sure he has had past success, but you know I never liked the guy. Why? Because a while back when I was still the CEO of WWCF I started an organization called WWCF Corporate. We were the top faction for months. I got Square's partner Starshine to join but of course like the loser he is Square refused. He refused because just like his new partner Hangman he doesn't know how to be a winner. He doesn't know how to be rock star wrestling icons like Headbanger Man and I have become. We have the belts, we have the fame, we have the money. The Human Hate Machines have absolutely nothing but a bad attitude. When Botch at the Beach comes next week Headbanger Man and I are going to show why we are the greatest tag team in WWCF history!!! We've beaten them all. Even the has-beens called The Southwest Connection, Tyfo and Little Naitch.
Our lead singer Viva may be stuck in a rut right now by being treated unfairly by that job stealing phony Drakin, but before we take care of that business we have some Human Hate Machine ass to kick. Stop rewriting history, the Revolution of Evolution did join Corporate and if memory serves correct your pal Sam cost the Non American Heroes the tag titles and instead of the titles coming back to the NAH you screwed us over. Do you remember that? Do you also remember how when the SouthWest Connection joined you put the NAH down the totem pole? Do you ALSO remember how when out with a injury not a soul from Coporate got in contact with Mr Often Imitated Never Duplicated?
Headbanger claimed that this is a change of personality from God's Gift to Professional Wrestling, it's not because from day one Square has kicked ass and taken no prisoners and come Botch at the Beach those months of wasted career and lost opportunity will be converted into the biggest ass kicking of your career Davey boy.
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Post by "Handsome" Whitey Fats on Jul 23, 2010 15:16:51 GMT -5
(Dave and Alexa Anderson are sitting in a booth at a throwback heavy metal 80s club on the Sunset Strip in Los Angeles. Dave is strumming his guitar.) You know. Ever since this past Monday I can't stop thinking about how I banged one of my pricey wicked guitars over the head of that good for nothing Square. Sure he has had past success, but you know I never liked the guy. Why? Because a while back when I was still the CEO of WWCF I started an organization called WWCF Corporate. We were the top faction for months. I got Square's partner Starshine to join but of course like the loser he is Square refused. He refused because just like his new partner Hangman he doesn't know how to be a winner. He doesn't know how to be rock star wrestling icons like Headbanger Man and I have become. We have the belts, we have the fame, we have the money. The Human Hate Machines have absolutely nothing but a bad attitude. When Botch at the Beach comes next week Headbanger Man and I are going to show why we are the greatest tag team in WWCF history!!! We've beaten them all. Even the has-beens called The Southwest Connection, Tyfo and Little Naitch.
Our lead singer Viva may be stuck in a rut right now by being treated unfairly by that job stealing phony Drakin, but before we take care of that business we have some Human Hate Machine ass to kick. Stop rewriting history, the Revolution of Evolution did join Corporate and if memory serves correct your pal Sam cost the Non American Heroes the tag titles and instead of the titles coming back to the NAH you screwed us over. Do you remember that? Do you also remember how when the SouthWest Connection joined you put the NAH down the totem pole? Do you ALSO remember how when out with a injury not a soul from Coporate got in contact with Mr Often Imitated Never Duplicated?
Headbanger claimed that this is a change of personality from God's Gift to Professional Wrestling, it's not because from day one Square has kicked ass and taken no prisoners and come Botch at the Beach those months of wasted career and lost opportunity will be converted into the biggest ass kicking of your career Davey boy. How would you like a place in my fine organization?
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Square
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Official Ambassador
Grand Poobah of Scavenger Hunts 2011
Square-Because he looks good at all the right angles.
Posts: 18,702
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Post by Square on Jul 23, 2010 15:51:07 GMT -5
Stop rewriting history, the Revolution of Evolution did join Corporate and if memory serves correct your pal Sam cost the Non American Heroes the tag titles and instead of the titles coming back to the NAH you screwed us over. Do you remember that? Do you also remember how when the SouthWest Connection joined you put the NAH down the totem pole? Do you ALSO remember how when out with a injury not a soul from Coporate got in contact with Mr Often Imitated Never Duplicated?
Headbanger claimed that this is a change of personality from God's Gift to Professional Wrestling, it's not because from day one Square has kicked ass and taken no prisoners and come Botch at the Beach those months of wasted career and lost opportunity will be converted into the biggest ass kicking of your career Davey boy. How would you like a place in my fine organization? Are you serious?
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Post by "Handsome" Whitey Fats on Jul 23, 2010 15:58:14 GMT -5
How would you like a place in my fine organization? Are you serious? We are always looking for superstars here at Whitey, Inc.
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Square
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Official Ambassador
Grand Poobah of Scavenger Hunts 2011
Square-Because he looks good at all the right angles.
Posts: 18,702
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Post by Square on Jul 23, 2010 16:04:20 GMT -5
We are always looking for superstars here at Whitey, Inc. Isn't it called the Human Hate Machine? And, no. Not in a million years. Not for all the tea in China, mainly because The Revolution Of Evolution can buy most of it already.
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Post by "Handsome" Whitey Fats on Jul 23, 2010 17:31:45 GMT -5
We are always looking for superstars here at Whitey, Inc. Isn't it called the Human Hate Machine? And, no. Not in a million years. Not for all the tea in China, mainly because The Revolution Of Evolution can buy most of it already.*chuckles* Boy, you couldn't buy my toilet.
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Square
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Official Ambassador
Grand Poobah of Scavenger Hunts 2011
Square-Because he looks good at all the right angles.
Posts: 18,702
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Post by Square on Jul 23, 2010 17:48:52 GMT -5
Isn't it called the Human Hate Machine? And, no. Not in a million years. Not for all the tea in China, mainly because The Revolution Of Evolution can buy most of it already. *chuckles* Boy, you couldn't buy my toilet. Prostitution pays well does it? Because everyone knows that you both suck and blow. Your nickname shouldn't be Day Phat Sax it should be Dyson Vacuum
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Post by "Handsome" Whitey Fats on Jul 23, 2010 18:09:52 GMT -5
*chuckles* Boy, you couldn't buy my toilet. Prostitution pays well does it? Because everyone knows that you both suck and blow. Your nickname shouldn't be Day Phat Sax it should be Dyson Vacuum A homophobic remark. Classy. Do you remember you have never beaten me in the ring? Yet I have pinned you. 1-2-3 right in the middle of the ring. You're my bitch now.
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Square
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Official Ambassador
Grand Poobah of Scavenger Hunts 2011
Square-Because he looks good at all the right angles.
Posts: 18,702
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Post by Square on Jul 23, 2010 18:15:30 GMT -5
Prostitution pays well does it? Because everyone knows that you both suck and blow. Your nickname shouldn't be Day Phat Sax it should be Dyson Vacuum A homophobic remark. Classy. Do you remember you have never beaten me in the ring? Yet I have pinned you. 1-2-3 right in the middle of the ring. You're my bitch now. No you haven't, your ex-partner has but you nope. People, stop trying to rewrite history it doesn't work
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Post by "Handsome" Whitey Fats on Jul 23, 2010 19:50:57 GMT -5
A homophobic remark. Classy. Do you remember you have never beaten me in the ring? Yet I have pinned you. 1-2-3 right in the middle of the ring. You're my bitch now. No you haven't, your ex-partner has but you nope. People, stop trying to rewrite history it doesn't work Go back and watch the tapes, son. I pinned your ass in front of god and everybody.
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Post by Tyfo on Jul 23, 2010 21:44:04 GMT -5
Since Botch at the Beach takes place on a Beach this Monday, I've been watching Baywatch episodes all week to prepare for my World title match.
How will this help me, I don't know. But damnit, you can't deny The Hoff!
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Post by The Hangman on Jul 23, 2010 22:15:04 GMT -5
(Dave and Alexa Anderson are sitting in a booth at a throwback heavy metal 80s club on the Sunset Strip in Los Angeles. Dave is strumming his guitar.) You know. Ever since this past Monday I can't stop thinking about how I banged one of my pricey wicked guitars over the head of that good for nothing Square. Sure he has had past success, but you know I never liked the guy. Why? Because a while back when I was still the CEO of WWCF I started an organization called WWCF Corporate. We were the top faction for months. I got Square's partner Starshine to join but of course like the loser he is Square refused. He refused because just like his new partner Hangman he doesn't know how to be a winner. He doesn't know how to be rock star wrestling icons like Headbanger Man and I have become. We have the belts, we have the fame, we have the money. The Human Hate Machines have absolutely nothing but a bad attitude. When Botch at the Beach comes next week Headbanger Man and I are going to show why we are the greatest tag team in WWCF history!!! We've beaten them all. Even the has-beens called The Southwest Connection, Tyfo and Little Naitch.
Our lead singer Viva may be stuck in a rut right now by being treated unfairly by that job stealing phony Drakin, but before we take care of that business we have some Human Hate Machine ass to kick.OOC: Sorry for the attack, but it's my first: *As D-Dave and his escort chortle, a strange Waiter passes by. Second later, the Waiter pulls out a Garrote, and starts strangling the crap out of D-Dave. As Alexa screams and runs away, the Waiter is viciously punching D-Dave in the head, as well as continuing to strangle him.
The deranged Waiter then tosses D-Dave through the Café's window, cutting him badly. As everyone in the building runs away in terror, the ever-so-convient Camera pans up to the visage of The Hangman*
*As he kicks D-Dave in the head and ribs*
So, you little bitch, think you would get away with that, huh? Well, I beat you, Square beat whatever the f*** his name was, and then we beat your goons. We are 3-0, and will add another notch!
Oh, and by the way, here's a present:
*Shaves a stripe in D-Dave's hair, then runs way form the incoming Cops*
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Johnny B. Decent
Patti Mayonnaise
Had one once
Everybody's Favorite Arizonian.
Posts: 31,176
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Post by Johnny B. Decent on Jul 23, 2010 22:22:59 GMT -5
Isn't it called the Human Hate Machine? And, no. Not in a million years. Not for all the tea in China, mainly because The Revolution Of Evolution can buy most of it already. *chuckles* Boy, you couldn't buy my toilet. *Ponders for a second*
Hey, aren't you that fat, greasy, sweaty redneck guy that got fired like half a year ago, because some Intern caught you raping Clucky, the WWCF's Chicken mascot and you were pimping out your girlfriend?
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