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Post by Topher is Human on Jul 31, 2010 5:09:49 GMT -5
Hello, My fellow hard working Americans. I am Major America and I have come to the WWCF to fix everything wrong with it and there is alot wrong with it. Now the first thing I got to do is I got to get rid of Ryan Staryshine. Why? Because he's from Australia and we can't have no damn Australians coming over here illegally and having there half-kangaroo childern in our Americans hospitals. That's right I said it , Australians love kangaroos and not in the platonic way. I mean they are physically attracted to Kangaroo and that ain't right. A man should only love another man or another woman ,he should not love a Kangaroo. .Loving a kangaroo is wrong and illegal and god did not create man to make love to kangaroo. It ain't right and it's the work of the devil. Oh and another thing Why the hell can't you people leave the crocodiles alone? Why does everybody in Australia have to wrestle crocodiles? They're just sitting there in the ocean and then you people gotta run up and tackle them. Why? Where is the fun in attacking crocodiles? I don't see it. I see the fun in hunting deer or rabbit or bears or any of that stuff but I don't see any fun in attacking crocodiles. Oh and why am I suppose to feel bad that a sting ray killed your president? I don't care about no Steve Irwin because I'm a damn American and he wasn't my damn president! It's wrong for you people to make me feel bad for not liking Steve Irwin when I'm not even from that third world country you call a home.
Also... Mad? Since I've been here, the one line I've always heard is about how "The Story on Page One" will be in the Obituaries... I probably put it apon myself bu giving myself that title, however as many times as I've heard that... I've always CONTINUED to be The Story on Page One. Look at my resume.
I won my debut match,
My second match was at GookerMania,
Created the Story, the most dominant stable in WWCF
Won the now defunct TromboneWeight Championship,
Competed in the 2008 Match of the Year, vs TromboneMan in the first ever Phantom of the Opera Match
Feud of the Year vs Little Naitch and Seth Drakin
First ever King of WrestleCrap
Former World Champion
Former Tag Team Champion
2010 Sole Survivor...
And the list goes on, and now The Pride and Story are on their way to become the next WWCF Tag Team Champions, even if it's at yours and Whitey's expense... |
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Post by Metalheadbanger Man on Jul 31, 2010 8:52:50 GMT -5
*Headbanger Man is in the rehearsal room, surrounded by bottles, amps, drum kits and HMH merchandise*
Well, its over. We were beaten. No longer WWCF Tag Team Champions, although no matter what Square and Hangman might say, for half a year we held those belts with pride, and defended them with honour. They'd be lucky if they held those belts half as long as we did.
But what now? Where does The Headbanger Man go from here? I've been in the WWCF for over a year now, and I still don't think I've achieved my full potential. I've beaten some of the best in this company, and got zero recognition for it. I mean, I've pinned our current World Champion countless times, and the champion before him too. But still, I'm overlooked in favour of other flash in the pan assholes.
Its time to remedy that. Maybe I need to give up the rock 'n' roll lifestyle - the groupies, the excessive drinking, and maybe I need to channel some of that aggression I used to have back in the day. I need to go back to when I was fighting on the streets of London, surviving on my wits and taking on all comers. Maybe I should stop focusing on image and worrying about what people think of me. Maybe I should start doing something...like this:
*Headbanger Man picks up the bass drum and throws it against the wall. He then proceeds to rip a HMH poster in half, before he pulls out a lighter and sets fire to the rehearsal room. He walks out of the room, and starts walking down the hallway as WWCF staff scramble around behind him*
Yep, I think its time to go into business for myself. If Dave, Viva and Sparks wanna join me, they can. They can do whatever they want, I don't care. Its time to start looking out for #1, and its time to prove that I'm not just a gimmick, not just a joke. I need to climb that ladder, and its gonna start now. I'm sick of watching undeserving idiots rise up the ranks, while I toil here, my efforts amounting to nothing. I'm sick of being held back, sick of all the distractions. Seth Drakin, I know you don't like me very much. Truth be told, I'm not particularly fond of you either. But all I ask is that you start giving me the opportunities I deserve. I've seen people come and go from this place, wrestlers who are all flash and no substance, but I bust my ass every time I go out there, and I don't think you've even acknowledged it once.
Now I'm not sure what the plans are for Battlebowl yet, but I can assure everyone that from here on out, 2010 is gonna be the year that I finally move on to a higher level. I hope you'll all be there to witness it.
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Post by Neo Het Is Evil Dead on Jul 31, 2010 9:49:39 GMT -5
Hello, My fellow hard working Americans. I am Major America and I have come to the WWCF to fix everything wrong with it and there is alot wrong with it. Now the first thing I got to do is I got to get rid of Ryan Staryshine. Why? Because he's from Australia and we can't have no damn Australians coming over here illegally and having there half-kangaroo childern in our Americans hospitals. That's right I said it , Australians love kangaroos and not in the platonic way. I mean they are physically attracted to Kangaroo and that ain't right. A man should only love another man or another woman ,he should not love a Kangaroo. .Loving a kangaroo is wrong and illegal and god did not create man to make love to kangaroo. It ain't right and it's the work of the devil. Oh and another thing Why the hell can't you people leave the crocodiles alone? Why does everybody in Australia have to wrestle crocodiles? They're just sitting there in the ocean and then you people gotta run up and tackle them. Why? Where is the fun in attacking crocodiles? I don't see it. I see the fun in hunting deer or rabbit or bears or any of that stuff but I don't see any fun in attacking crocodiles. Oh and why am I suppose to feel bad that a sting ray killed your president? I don't care about no Steve Irwin because I'm a damn American and he wasn't my damn president! It's wrong for you people to make me feel bad for not liking Steve Irwin when I'm not even from that third world country you call a home.
Also... Mad? Since I've been here, the one line I've always heard is about how "The Story on Page One" will be in the Obituaries... I probably put it apon myself bu giving myself that title, however as many times as I've heard that... I've always CONTINUED to be The Story on Page One. Look at my resume.
I won my debut match,
My second match was at GookerMania,
Created the Story, the most dominant stable in WWCF
Won the now defunct TromboneWeight Championship,
Competed in the 2008 Match of the Year, vs TromboneMan in the first ever Phantom of the Opera Match
Feud of the Year vs Little Naitch and Seth Drakin
First ever King of WrestleCrap
Former World Champion
Former Tag Team Champion
2010 Sole Survivor...
And the list goes on, and now The Pride and Story are on their way to become the next WWCF Tag Team Champions, even if it's at yours and Whitey's expense...Boy?! What do I look like some sort of sissy pansy inbred Russian to you? Because I'm not! I'm a damn American and American's are manly-men and don't you forget it, you little english fairy or I'll punch you so hard in the chest that it'll create a hole in your chest and a bald eagle will fly out of it and sing the national anthem as it rest gently upon your rotting corpse.Now tell me , How does that sound to you freedom hater? |
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Post by Topher is Human on Jul 31, 2010 18:34:50 GMT -5
I am from Australia, the promised land... the land of plenty, the country where people go when they are sick of their country and people like you. Freedom hater? Australia is all about Freedom, boy.
Sure our winters may be hot, and our summers even hotter. But we proud Australians are willing to face the heat, knowing that reward is in the land itself.
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Post by Neo Het Is Evil Dead on Jul 31, 2010 21:15:59 GMT -5
I am from Australia, the promised land... the land of plenty, the country where people go when they are sick of their country and people like you. Freedom hater? Australia is all about Freedom, boy.
Sure our winters may be hot, and our summers even hotter. But we proud Australians are willing to face the heat, knowing that reward is in the land itself. Oh you're an aussie? I should've known I was talking to a felon by the tone of your voice , you kangroo lovin' sack of garbage. Let me ask you a question Mr. ILikeToMateWithAnimalsThatHavePouches , How did australia's war for freedfom go? OH WAIT THAT'S RIGHT AUSTRALIA AIN'T NEVER FOUGHT FOR IT'S OWN FREEDOM BECAUSE YOU'RE A BUNCH OF COWARDS. Oh and while you're sitting there trying to answer that impossible question why don't you name me one great Australian baseball player? OH WAIT THAT'S RIGHT THERE AREN'T ANY BECAUSE THEY ONLY PLAY SISSY SPORTS IN AUSTRALIA. Now why don't you go back to your kangroo wife and kick around the soccer ball with your pansy-a** half kangroo-kid before I shove my hand in your wife's pouch , pull out her intenses , set them on fire and play a rocking guitar solo over the flames as the sweet sweet smell of kangroo meat floats through the air! |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jul 31, 2010 21:17:47 GMT -5
*Walks in wearing a beret, eating a croissant, and sporting a shirt reading "GO FRANCE!"*
If that's the kinda guy this country is turning out now, I proudly pledge my allegiance to France.
...Kthxbai.
*Walks out*
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Post by Neo Het Is Evil Dead on Jul 31, 2010 21:25:55 GMT -5
*Walks in wearing a beret, eating a croissant, and sporting a shirt reading "GO FRANCE!"* If that's the kinda guy this country is turning out now, I proudly pledge my allegiance to France.
...Kthxbai.*Walks out* That's right! Go back to france you giant pansy before I beat you to a bloody pulp for AMERICA , HELL YEAH , AMERICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope you enjoy silly little bike races and women that don't shave. *Major America randomy pulls out a french flag and sets it on fire.* |
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Post by dreamwarrior on Jul 31, 2010 22:21:21 GMT -5
BAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Well, that's all well and good, kid. However, you're the one who will be working for a win, not me. I'm the Champion of Honor! I don't need luck or anything to beat some scrub! But I like the fact that you have ambitions. Maybe someday, you'll be a somebody, but not on this day and not at my expense. But uh, thanks for making me laugh. I needed that. He is right Evil M and you are wrong. I will be somebody at your expense. I will give it my all to beat you. I will use every move i have to beat you cause Evil M, I was made for chasing dreams and come Monday night it will be at your expense. You wont be laughing then you will be like I just got beat by the Dream Warrior so see you on Monday |
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Post by General Adam on Jul 31, 2010 22:32:16 GMT -5
*The general is walking through the WWCF headquarters while carrying a super soaker and some water balloons. He is also naked.*
Shhhh. I'm hunting WWCF executives. Heheheeheehehe.
*Bongo grunts*
SHUT YOUR FACE BONGO! I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING!
*The general sprays anybody that dares gets in his way as he goes floor to floor.*
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jul 31, 2010 22:43:31 GMT -5
Don't count Dream Warrior out. He is way over-due for a win, and I think this week WILL be his week. Now I'm not one to reveal any of my plans, but Evil, you had best be expecting some backlash for that sh*t you pulled at BATB. What goes around comes around, and when it does, it's gonna come HARD. He is right Evil M and you are wrong. I will be somebody at your expense. I will give it my all to beat you. I will use every move i have to beat you cause Evil M, I was made for chasing dreams and come Monday night it will be at your expense. You wont be laughing then you will be like I just got beat by the Dream Warrior so see you on Monday
One, for Honor!
Two, for Yellow Jacket!
And three...
FOR FRANCE!M walks off, only to run into The General and his army. ...Hello.
*Awkward silence*Leaves. |
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Post by General Adam on Jul 31, 2010 22:48:53 GMT -5
He is right Evil M and you are wrong. I will be somebody at your expense. I will give it my all to beat you. I will use every move i have to beat you cause Evil M, I was made for chasing dreams and come Monday night it will be at your expense. You wont be laughing then you will be like I just got beat by the Dream Warrior so see you on Monday
One, for Honor!
Two, for Yellow Jacket!
And three...
FOR FRANCE!M walks off, only to run into The General and his army. ...Hello.
*Awkward silence*Leaves. *Points the super soaker at Evil M.* |
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Johnny B. Decent
Patti Mayonnaise
Had one once
Everybody's Favorite Arizonian.
Posts: 31,207 
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Post by Johnny B. Decent on Aug 1, 2010 0:04:35 GMT -5
*Walks in wearing a beret, eating a croissant, and sporting a shirt reading "GO FRANCE!"* If that's the kinda guy this country is turning out now, I proudly pledge my allegiance to France.
...Kthxbai.*Walks out* |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2010 0:07:58 GMT -5
*Walks in wearing a beret, eating a croissant, and sporting a shirt reading "GO FRANCE!"* If that's the kinda guy this country is turning out now, I proudly pledge my allegiance to France.
...Kthxbai.*Walks out*
I find it funny that you're calling me the washed up loser, though. After all, I'm the one with a title, while you...
Oh that's right. You've been back for a whole year and have nothing to show for it. So next time you want to call someone a washed up loser, I suggest you fling insults at your mirror. |
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Johnny B. Decent
Patti Mayonnaise
Had one once
Everybody's Favorite Arizonian.
Posts: 31,207
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Post by Johnny B. Decent on Aug 1, 2010 0:12:07 GMT -5
How fitting: A pathetic, washed-up loser who used to be tough siding with a country just the same as him.
I find it funny that you're calling me the washed up loser, though. After all, I'm the one with a title, while you...
Oh that's right. You've been back for a whole year and have nothing to show for it. So next time you want to call someone a washed up loser, I suggest you fling insults at your mirror.
And, oh boy, you won Seth's personal title. Allow me to congraulate you. Being the champ of that is one more step above Janitor. Boy, those plastic gold and jewles really hold up a shine, don't they? |
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Post by Neo Het Is Evil Dead on Aug 1, 2010 6:41:10 GMT -5
How fitting: A pathetic, washed-up loser who used to be tough siding with a country just the same as him.
I find it funny that you're calling me the washed up loser, though. After all, I'm the one with a title, while you...
Oh that's right. You've been back for a whole year and have nothing to show for it. So next time you want to call someone a washed up loser, I suggest you fling insults at your mirror.Wow the fact that you think I'm freak makes me think you're a sad sad loser. I mean i'm a PROUD AMERICAN HERO and if you think that makes me a freak then I bet you probably hate Regan and Bush and Patton. What are you some sort of sissy-a** pathetic Noam Chomsky reading socalist? Heh why am I even talking to you? From what I've heard you say you should be put to death for treason. |
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Post by General Adam on Aug 1, 2010 20:58:05 GMT -5
*The General kicks in a random door*
If you don't give me a title shot I swear to god I will empty this super soaker full of hot monkey urine on you!
*Realizes that there is nobody there*
Dammit.
*continues walking around WWCF headquarters*
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Fiddleford H. McGucket
El Dandy
My Mind's been gone for 30-odd years! Can't Break what's already broken!
Posts: 8,748
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Post by Fiddleford H. McGucket on Aug 2, 2010 10:57:23 GMT -5
You know what? I've had it.....Colt, I'm not coming for you I'm too small a fish to swim with the sharks yet.
Major America, you make me SICK! You hide behind the flag and spew hate under the guise of patriotism! You're madder than me! You're nothing but an angry hate-filled little boil, and I intend to lance you. You attack the wonderous nation of France, centre of Art, culture and cuisine. You've disparaged the fine Country/Continent (OOC: Truly not sure on that one) of Australia. A land of true freedom and strong Beer. Hell, American beer is like making love in a canoe! You may claim to be a patriot and love your country, and you very well may, but part of the very freedom you CLAIM to represent is the freedom to disagree with your views.
The point I'm trying to make here is that I challenge you Major. I've wooped a General before, and at least a civilian or two, I think I can take on a Major Nutball.
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Post by Neo Het Is Evil Dead on Aug 2, 2010 11:39:54 GMT -5
I'm sorrry Miss Madness , I didn't know treason was a right all americans had. I thought we put people to death for treason but apparently in your psycho communist world , you're allowed to burn the flag and insult the values of America without having your spine ripped out and shoved down your throat.
Oh and what the hell is centre? I think you mean Center and another thing France is the center of the world for crusine?! Seriously?! They eat *Beelping* frogs and bull scrotums and all sorts of werid disgusting garbage. I mean have you ever had a KFC Double Down? Now that's real fine American cuisine right there.
By the way American beer does suck , you know why? Because beer is for cowards.. Why don't you drink whiskey like a real man and shut the hell up before Major America goes down to that ring and beats you into a coma , tattoo's the American flag on your face while your passed out and drops you in the middle of Canada or whatever socalist hellhole is closest to us.
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Johnny B. Decent
Patti Mayonnaise
Had one once
Everybody's Favorite Arizonian.
Posts: 31,207
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Post by Johnny B. Decent on Aug 2, 2010 23:50:43 GMT -5
*In the back with the WWCF World Hardcore Openweight Title*
Ah, it's a nice belt. Much better around my waist then that pansy.
But, I know, I know: People think I'm not the real Champion. Well, punks, I have a surprise for you. Allow me to introduce a man to you. He's relatively new to the WWCF World and part of a brand new thing. Ladies and Gentlemen, the General Manager of the Committee of the WWCF World Hardcore Openweight Title, Juan S. Friend!
*A TV is turned on, and on a white screen, Amigo with a pair of glasses is shown*
Hello. I am here to inform the WWCF that effective immediately, Smokin' Vokoun has been stripped of the Title by order of WWCF Comossioner Seth Drakin, and the title has been awarded to John S. Amigo as the now-current Champion.
Thank you.
See? I'm the Champion now, and I'm going to defend my new belt next week!
Oh, and Smokin', don't even bother complaning to the management, as it's written and stone and ink now. Maybe if you weren't such a big pussy whining and bitching about BRB then focusing on yourself, the Top brass would have not needed to cancel your shitstorm of a reign.
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smokinvokoun
Dennis Stamp
Daffy's Gonna Kill You
Posts: 4,770
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Post by smokinvokoun on Aug 3, 2010 0:22:47 GMT -5
*In the back with the WWCF World Hardcore Openweight Title*
Ah, it's a nice belt. Much better around my waist then that pansy.
But, I know, I know: People think I'm not the real Champion. Well, punks, I have a surprise for you. Allow me to introduce a man to you. He's relatively new to the WWCF World and part of a brand new thing. Ladies and Gentlemen, the General Manager of the Committee of the WWCF World Hardcore Openweight Title, Juan S. Friend!*A TV is turned on, and on a white screen, Amigo with a pair of glasses is shown*
Hello. I am here to inform the WWCF that effective immediately, Smokin' Vokoun has been stripped of the Title by order of WWCF Comossioner Seth Drakin, and the title has been awarded to John S. Amigo as the now-current Champion.
Thank you.See? I'm the Champion now, and I'm going to defend my new belt next week!
Oh, and Smokin', don't even bother complaning to the management, as it's written and stone and ink now. Maybe if you weren't such a big pussy whining and bitching about BRB then focusing on yourself, the Top brass would have not needed to cancel your s***storm of a reign.
But I have to admitt, you were right about ONE thing....that I guess I worried to much about Boiler Room Brawler....I was vulerable at Botch at the Beach...and I was vulerable last night...THAT WON'T EVER HAPPEN AGAIN!!!! Because Amigo you have unleashed a monster deep inside of me that CAN'T BE STOPPED!!!!! I've never hated a man as much as I hate you....because you took away the only thing that I had....my belt. But you may have taken my belt, but I'm still the Hardcore CHampion, You know, I know THE WWCF GALAXY KNOWS IT DAMN IT!!!!
*He starts to giggle loudly*
And you know Amigo....I'M GONNA GO LOOK FOR YOU!!!! I'M GONNA MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL FOR YOU AND YOUR LOSER GOONS!!!!! I'M GONNA MAKE YOU WISH YOU HAD A TIME MACHINE SO YOU CAN GO BACK IN TIME AND KILL YOUR MOTHER BEFORE YOU WERE EVEN BORN. BECAUSE I'M GONNA KILLLLLLLLLLLLL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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