Make a newz item!

[Thynny Fat Ass]

Since there's a lot of speculation about roster cuts and who's in the doghouse as of late, I'd like to add my own..

There are actually TWO Sin Caras, the real one who is on TV, and the other one, who does house shows, and is played by Christopher Daniels.

[Altabane]

Cody Rhodes isn't impressing Vince so he's going to be fired on Friday.

Cody Rhodes is so wonderful, but Vince is a meany face, so he'll never get a good push ever.

Cody Rhodes is the greatest thing on the planet, but Vince a big jerky jerk face and poor Cody will probably end up a hobo.

[JCBaggee]

CM Punk has finally renewed his contract, signing a landmark 25 year deal with the WWE. Punk refused a raise, instead putting into the contract that he would receive 6 world title shots, and specifically a lengthy, 6+ month feud with his friend and idol, Mark Henry.

[dapperdanman]

After Christian's WHC win at Extreme Rules, he was congradulated by Vince backstage. Upon leaving the impromptu meeting, he farted, thus gaining heat with Vince and losing the title 2 days later to Randy Orton and his amazing thighs.

[Thynny Fat Ass]

R-Truth was scheduled to win at Capitol Punishment, but he got Vince and the WWE into trademark infringement hot water when he shouted "Shazam," (a registered trademark of DC Comics) at a recent Raw. As punishement, a half-assed "soda" ending was written at the last minute.

[unoriginalalex]

Daniel Bryan is expected to make a heel turn later this year, with the backstory that he finally bought a TV and was able to see everything that was wrong with the world, and he was inspired to do more wrong than any of the 'villians' on TV.

[N E O G E O B O Y S]

According to some wrestlers, Zack Ryder was punished last monday because Vince caught him singing along with a radio the song Whatever from the musical group Our Lady Peace

This put Vince on a very bad mood because he was afraid that the benoit ghost will return to storm his company, so he decided to cancel the planned push that Ryder will receive that monday on his hometown. Originally, it was planned than Cena will be in a beatdown from R-Truth and the New Nexus until Zack Ryder making the save, which will later build to a passing the torch moment at Summerslam between Ryder and Cena, that will culminate at Wrestlemania between Ryder anc Punk for the WWE Title. But now the plan is to had Cena defend his belt against the Miz at Summerslam

Is expected to see Zack Ryder fired within the next months

[Deleted]

Sheamus and Daniel Bryan are reported to have gotten Hogan level tans over the weekend.

[turkeysandwich]

Triple H has been literally licking his chops to get back in the ring. During every production meeting, Triple H is said to come to every meeting with a list of about 60 current superstars that he has yet to "bury." Triple H is said to mention that only two good things have happened on Raw this year: His staredown with The Undertaker and the time he Pedigree'd Sheamus through a table. Whenever a current superstar is mentioned in a meeting, Triple H is said to leap upon to table, rip his shirt off, and exclaim, "I need to bury him!!! Because I am The Game!!" It is a different road agents job each week on Raw or at PPVs to make sure that Triple H is locked inside a windowless room at whatever arena they are at, if he is not confined, his uncontrollable urge to bury people kicks in and he will run to ring and Pedigree whoever is in the ring at that time.

[Y2M]

According to insider reports, the Evan Bourne - Jack Swagger bout at last night's PPV was an unscheduled filler match. The World Heavyweight Championship match was expected to run at least another ten more minutes, but Randy Orton had told the referee that he would end the match earlier due to his Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Orton had been in constant pain last night, which explains why he was often stumbling around the ring. Vince told Orton before the match that if he wanted to end the match early, he could do so, since he didn't want Orton to 'sacrifice those amazing thighs'.

[Turd Ferguson]

Curt Hennig is actually not dead, and is living comfortably in Nunavut under the name "Michael McGillicutty," rooming with Elvis and Tupac, who are named, "Husky Harris" and "Kaval" respectively.

This is only known to a select few people, so when the time came to book Joe Hennig, they used a tongue-in-cheek reference to his father's alias.

[I *still* ✡ Johnny]

Rumours abound that Vince is granting pushes based on legs. He refuses to let Christian win the WHC until he starts wearing trunks, and he hates Zack Ryder's legs so much he can't stand him on TV.

[Stab Sword]

Vince McMahon will now listen to anything a couple hundred geeks on the Internet complain about.

The list includes

Pushing Zack Ryder

Giving CM Punk all the titles

Demoting John Cena to jobber status

Making Jim Ross the lead announcer

and having Daniel Bryan beat Randy Orton for the next fifteen years

[Bo Rida]

Vince McMahon has repeatedly asked Sheamus to get a tan as he doesn’t believe that his pale skin looks good on HD TVs, Vince then told a long story about wrestler’s tans in years gone by and how it played a huge part in Hulk Hogan's success.

Vince was furious when Sheamus replied “I’m ginger! No way am I going to have orange skin fella, my head would like like lobster” and was written out as punishment.

Zack Ryder continues to work on his tan…

[championsucka]

Vince McMahon has issued an edict that if, during an interview, any employee refers to the word "Wrestling" then they will be forced to watch Brodus Clay perform the first act of "Julius Ceasar" by William Shakespeare with finger puppets. They will then have to spend the next three weeks jobbing on Superstars to Hornswoggle.

[rrm15]

CM Punk, Christian, Daniel Bryan, and Zack Ryder are expected to form a faction called the Impact Warrior Clan soon. They will feud with John Cena on the basis of him "being pushed too hard", "burying everyone", and "not having enough workrate." The WWE fans will boo, but will have no idea what the f*** they're talking about.

They'll also commentate Sin Cara's matches pointing out his minor mistakes and complaining that he should have gone to Florida first.

[Zaq "That Guy" Buzzkill]

An inside source has confirmed that Randy Orton's thighs are not amazing. It is now expected that the entire wrestling industry will collapse within six months after this revelation.

["Gentleman" AJ Powell]

Daniel Bryan has Heat with Triple H, as Hunter likes to walk around backstage with steaks tied to his feet to keep them cool. When Bryan asked him if he'd stop, H reportedly said "I'll stop when you're a 13 time World Champ and This. Damn. Good uh!" He then pedigree'd Bryan through a catering table & stuffed Slim Jims into his mouth. Expect to see Bryan gone by Friday.

[breakdownthewalls]

There's nuclear heat right now on John Cena. As you know, Vince is not happy with the reactions Ryder has been getting. Upon finding out that Ryder has shown up in various backstage segments with Cena, Vince reportedly "flipped the hell out" and began to rant and rave that Cena was the reason these fans were cheering Ryder, and that "I'll be damned if I let a WRESTLER like Cena dictate what the fans want".

In a related story, there's thermonuclear heat on The Big O for similar reasons; Vince is furious that he has shown up on Ryder's youtube show multiple times and even appeared to be cheering him on during Superstars. No news yet as to when Vince will realize The Big O is not signed to the WWE.

[Deleted]

The word making the rounds backstage is that the reason that Max Moon isn't brought up on WWE TV is because he slept with Stephanie. This has been rumored for years, but some evidence is now pointing in that direction as Husky Harris approached Vince about possibly working the Max Moon gimmick and Vince went ballistic and immediately changed the Raw script from Husky winning the World Championship from Cena to being punted in the head by Orton and written out of all future storylines.

Stephanie is rumored to have said that she liked Max because he was ribbed for her pleasure.