Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2012 23:37:34 GMT -5
As the topic states, what are your funniest promo lines? Here's some of my favorites.
Bret Hart - "I was screwed by the Boy Toy!!!" (The sad part was that it wasn't supposed to be funny but Bret's whole attitude about it made it priceless)
The Rock - "Now, Bad Ass, you run your mouth about Summerslam. Well, here's the situation. The Rock says this, if the Rock hits you he'll kill you. If he misses, the wind behind the punch will give you pneumonia and you'll die anyway,so the choice is yours jabroni."
Marc Mero - "“You see, Marvelous Marc Mero always wins, a jobber always loses. You are a jabroni. You are a nobody. In fact, you’re not Sal Sincere The Pizza Delivery Boy. Your name is Tom Brandy, and they gave you this stupid gimmick and you did. You should be ashamed of yourself.”
Vader after losing to Kane - "Man, a man usually don't have any excuses. I came here to compete tonight and I got my butt whipped. I've made the biggest mistake of my life. Look at me I'm SO BIG!!!! Maybe it's, maybe Vader time's over. I ain't nothing but a big piece of shit, nothing but a big fat piece of shit!!!!!!"
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Post by xCompackx on Mar 2, 2012 23:57:03 GMT -5
I laughed at "Kung Pao Bitch" ...Yes, really.  |
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Post by Zaq "That Guy" Buzzkill on Mar 3, 2012 0:01:08 GMT -5
"Vickie! You got some 'splaining to dooooooooooooooooo!"
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Post by frogsplash45 on Mar 3, 2012 0:05:49 GMT -5
I laughed at "Kung Pao Bitch" ...Yes, really. I still don't understand the humor in this.  |
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Post by xCompackx on Mar 3, 2012 0:10:43 GMT -5
I laughed at "Kung Pao Bitch" ...Yes, really. I still don't understand the humor in this. Well... I am the same person who thought Grown Ups and Jack and Jill were hilarious. Maybe my comedy levels are a bit low. |
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Post by Brother Nero....Wolfe on Mar 3, 2012 0:42:57 GMT -5
I laughed at "Kung Pao Bitch" ...Yes, really. I still don't understand the humor in this. There is absolutely none. The Rock just has a ridiculous ability to make anything sound badass and hilarious at the same time. His delivery is cartoonish levels of effective. He could start reading "My Immortal"(the fanfic) while cutting a promo and the crowd would still pop. |
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Post by Larryhausen on Mar 3, 2012 1:08:58 GMT -5
CM Punk's list of demands to Vince. Ending with CM PUNK THE MOVIE!!!!!!
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Post by mcmahonfan85 on Mar 3, 2012 1:44:12 GMT -5
In Your House: Break Down
Kevin Kelly: "Mankind, in tonight's cage match it appears Ken Shamrock is looking for blood, and The Rock is looking for glory. What are you looking for?"
Mankind: "Well Kevin Kelly, I'm looking for an end to world hunger, but I don't really expect to have that happen during this match. But I'm going to overlook the stupidity of this question, because I'm used to stupidity all my life! When I broke Jo Jo Millers guns because I wanted them, in retrospect that was probably a stupid thing. When I saw a grown man urinating on an electric fence, I thought that that was a stupid thing. The president of this country sacrificing a nation for a girl that even I would have turned down in high school is probably a stupid thing. But of all the stupid things I've seen in my life, nothing rivals the People's Elbow for sheer stupidity! So if you think that Mankind, in a pay-per-view match inside a steel cage, is going to lay down and sell that abortion, well you're even stupider than I look!"
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Ryanar
Samurai Cop
Posts: 2,429
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Post by Ryanar on Mar 3, 2012 2:07:51 GMT -5
Im not a fan of the rocks cartoon insults but i did laugh when he called John Cena a Homeless Power Ranger.
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Post by thelonewolf527 on Mar 3, 2012 3:30:20 GMT -5
It doesn't matter kid
Yo you should stop, defeat me.
My style's like a swollen penis,
You can't beat me
- John Cena, 2003 Royal Rumble
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Post by johnnybaseball, Mantaur Fan on Mar 3, 2012 5:13:39 GMT -5
I still don't understand the humor in this. Well... I am the same person who thought Grown Ups and Jack and Jill were hilarious. Maybe my comedy levels are a bit low. Just wanted to chime in and say that, although I haven't seen Jack and Jill, I do love me some Grown Ups. Much of the humor comes from the fact that they actually made that movie, which seemed like an excuse for Sandler and crew to get paid and go to a water park. A"maize"ing. |
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Post by Goldash #BLM on Mar 3, 2012 6:28:08 GMT -5
"...and that's why I kicked your leg out of your...leg." -Owen Hart, 1994 Royal Rumble
Can't believe that legendary moment wasn't mentioned in this thread yet!
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Post by Citizen Snips on Mar 3, 2012 6:54:58 GMT -5
"So, Triple H tore his quad. Big deal! I tear my quad all the time. I tore it this morning, I'm here, I'm jumpin' around!"-Kurt Angle
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2012 7:24:57 GMT -5
There are a bunch, but the first one that comes to mind is Jericho's line to Foley sometime in '99:
"The only reason people bought your book was because they were hoping you'd die at the end."
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Post by Zaq "That Guy" Buzzkill on Mar 3, 2012 9:35:14 GMT -5
It doesn't matter kid Yo you should stop, defeat me. My style's like a swollen penis, You can't beat me - John Cena, 2003 Royal Rumble "90 seconds of what the hell did he say? Word to your mother." |
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Post by White Trash Lucha on Mar 3, 2012 9:37:51 GMT -5
A recent one from SmackDown  |
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Post by Goldash #BLM on Mar 3, 2012 9:42:28 GMT -5
There are a bunch, but the first one that comes to mind is Jericho's line to Foley sometime in '99: "The only reason people bought your book was because they were hoping you'd die at the end." Little did "King Wallaby" know that eleven years later, Mick would write an equally amazing prologue to "Undisputed". ;D |
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Post by Dr. Bunsen Honeydew on Mar 3, 2012 10:02:01 GMT -5
Rock to Hurricane: "You ain't NOTHING! 5 foot NOTHING! 100 lbs. of NOTHING! Excuse The Rock one second, he has a phone call KA KOW Hello?It's NOTHING! He says he knows you! *Looks out towards crowd* DON'T LAUGH AT THE ROCK'S JOKES!"
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Post by WinOwensWin on Mar 3, 2012 10:05:25 GMT -5
OMG Kevin Nash WTF Thought He Was Dead LOL
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2012 10:28:32 GMT -5
This all begins and ends with the British Bulldog walking into the Alamodome at the 1997 Royal Rumble.
(To a bunch of fans looking down.) "Who's gonna win the Royal Rumble?! That's right, the British Bulldog is gonna win the Royal Rumble. I have a history in Royal Rumbles, and tonight I'm gonna remake history, the Rumble tonight, this night, BECAUSE I'M BIZARRE!"
(This is up there with the "Genesis of McGillicutty" as far as "so bad they're hilarious" promos.)
Shawn Michaels and his "Freedom Of Speech" promo on Bret Hart: "Freedom Of Speech means that they can cheer, or boo, anybody they want to! Bret, listen to [the fans]. Oh sure, they're cheering me now; but they've booed me before, and you don't see me getting all bent out of shape over it!"
(Yes, he actually said this with a straight face. As if we forgot about Survivor Series 1996, when the MSG crowd just turned on Shawn and started cheering Sid. Even Vince stood up, removed his head-set and peered out into the crowd with a "WTF" look on his face.)
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