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Post by Hulk With A Mustache on Jun 28, 2014 22:39:30 GMT -5
*We open on a woman standing in front of a video screen. She has on a black sweater, plaid scarf, long skirt, and Doc Martin’s. Michael Jackson’s “Billy Jean” is playing. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zi_XLOBDo_Y On the screen, we see images of things that happened in 1983, like Michael Jackson, “Return Of The Jedi,” The A-Team, the Eurythmics, and other stuff.
Let me take you back to 1983, when Michael Jackson was still alive. Not only that but he also gave the world the greatest album of all time, Thriller! And, he killed at Motown’s 25th Anniversary special. But, it wasn’t all about Michael. The first Star Wars trilogy came to an end, and we never thought that we’d be looking back on the Ewoks and thinking we had it good. Speaking of Star Wars, Reagan had this cool plan to stop Russian missiles that everyone called Star Wars, but it was more like Missile Command. Chicken nuggets came to Mc-E-Dee’s. Everyone in the world saw the last episode of MASH. There was ZZ Top, U2, the Eurythmics, David Bowie, Talking Heads, The Police, and Huey Lewis on the radio. Matthew Broderick was totally cute in WarGames. John Travolta totally sucked in Staying Alive. The Hitler Diaries were a fake. That E.T. game nearly killed video games. We had V, He-Man, Press Your Luck, and Webster on the TV. And, everyone wondered why that girl kept calling herself Boy George. It was an awesome year. You all forgot that. But, we’re gonna make you remember it. Whether you like it or not. It’s time for you people to um… Choose Breakfast. The Breakfast Pack, coming soon to FAWA.
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Post by bigalbass86 AKA Smokin Vokoun on Jun 29, 2014 0:56:12 GMT -5
Sure....you ran up the entire stairwell of the Sears Tower...sure... I know how to edit too. Watch.*Seth is about to punch something off camera and it shows a piece of cinderblock being broken by a fist. The fist goes back, then we see Seth bringing his fist back and shakes his hand.* See what I mean? Let's toss that Sears Tower crap out the window. But as far as your other training goes, that's nice and all, but there is a reason I don't show my training. It's because I want you not to know what I do so you go into our match unknowing of how I have trained. But you will find out that I have trained for a thug with you when we fight.
Just you wait...
Because it's all starting to become white noise. And I think he puts me to sleep.
THAT should be the new sleeping aide that sweeps the nation, the "Seth Drakin System". Just make someone watch one of his matches and one of his energizing "promos" and BOOM...you're off to dreamland.
I think more and more you talk though....the less confidence you actually have. OH YES, ON THE OUTSIDE YOU BRIM WITH ALL THAT LUSTER......but inside, your scared. Remember...I saw your eyes. They don't lie. They tell me you are reluctant to actually fight me. You see, at least I don't lie to the public, Seth. What you see is what you get with me. Everything you think about me...is probably true. I am a thug. I AM A MONSTER!!!! Gus Richlin and that slut of a girlfriend found that out.
So what I mean, buddy.....is that when I say I'm going to kick your ass....I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR MOTHER F**KING ASS!!!! I don't lie about having a ton of confidence. I don't lie when I say I'm the toughest son of a bitch this company has ever seen. I don't lie that I want to take over the FAWA AND MAKE IT, INTO MY IMAGE!!!! I don't lie about anything, Seth. When I say I'm going to make you bleed...YOU'RE GOING TO BLEED TO DEATH!!!!!! |
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on Jun 29, 2014 16:13:25 GMT -5
Sure....you ran up the entire stairwell of the Sears Tower...sure... I know how to edit too. Watch.*Seth is about to punch something off camera and it shows a piece of cinderblock being broken by a fist. The fist goes back, then we see Seth bringing his fist back and shakes his hand.* See what I mean? Let's toss that Sears Tower crap out the window. But as far as your other training goes, that's nice and all, but there is a reason I don't show my training. It's because I want you not to know what I do so you go into our match unknowing of how I have trained. But you will find out that I have trained for a thug with you when we fight.
Just you wait...
Because it's all starting to become white noise. And I think he puts me to sleep.
THAT should be the new sleeping aide that sweeps the nation, the "Seth Drakin System". Just make someone watch one of his matches and one of his energizing "promos" and BOOM...you're off to dreamland.
I think more and more you talk though....the less confidence you actually have. OH YES, ON THE OUTSIDE YOU BRIM WITH ALL THAT LUSTER......but inside, your scared. Remember...I saw your eyes. They don't lie. They tell me you are reluctant to actually fight me. You see, at least I don't lie to the public, Seth. What you see is what you get with me. Everything you think about me...is probably true. I am a thug. I AM A MONSTER!!!! Gus Richlin and that slut of a girlfriend found that out.
So what I mean, buddy.....is that when I say I'm going to kick your ass....I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR MOTHER F**KING ASS!!!! I don't lie about having a ton of confidence. I don't lie when I say I'm the toughest son of a bitch this company has ever seen. I don't lie that I want to take over the FAWA AND MAKE IT, INTO MY IMAGE!!!! I don't lie about anything, Seth. When I say I'm going to make you bleed...YOU'RE GOING TO BLEED TO DEATH!!!!!!  A terrifying monster at that with all your threats and stuff. |
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Post by Hulk With A Mustache on Jun 29, 2014 16:16:41 GMT -5
*We open on a man standing in front of a video screen. He has on a letterman’s jacket, plain white T-shirt, and jeans. Bruce Springsteen’s “Born In The USA” is playing. www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPhWR4d3FJQ Behind him, the video screen plays images from 1984, like Bruce Springsteen, Cyndi Lauper, the Where’s The Beef? commercial, and Beverly Hills Cop.
Nick Britt: 1984. Bruce Springsteen. Walter Mondale losing. It’s morning in America again. Where’s The Beef? Hulk Hogan, new WWF Champion. Miami Vice. Apple’s Macintosh. Frankie Goes To Hollywood. Night Court. Van Halen before Eddie and David couldn’t stand each other. Ghostbusters. Dick Clark and Ed McMahon. The Marines pulling out of Beirut. Charles In Charge. Beverly Hills Cop. Spinal Tap. Rockwell. Police Academy. Satanic cults. Georgetown. Gremlins. The Karate Kid. The Cars. The Olympics in L.A. Carl Lewis killing it. Mary Lou Retton. L.A. Raiders. Hank Williams Jr. The Oilers. Punky Brewster. The Celtics. Revenge Of The Nerds. The Tigers. Ghostbusters. Red Dawn. WOLVERINES!!!! Bananarama, bodacious babes indeed. Transformers. Care bears. Cyndi Lauper. Purple Rain. Billy Ocean. The Cosby Show. Fred Dryer was Hunter!? Get me the first season of Hunter! Madonna, oh mamma! Freddy Crougar. Johnny Cougar. The Terminator. I’ll be back. Let It Be, Replacements not the Beatles. Berny Goetz. 1984, the movie based on the book. It was an awesome year. And, you all forgot that. But, you won’t forget anymore. We’re gonna make you remember it. Whether you like it or not. So, you better start doing one thing… Choose Breakfast. The Breakfast Pack, coming soon to FAWA.
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Post by bigalbass86 AKA Smokin Vokoun on Jun 29, 2014 16:20:49 GMT -5
Heeeeeeey. Do you know what a typical Seth Drakin match does to people?
And when he opens his mouth....this what his "fans" do.
Ooooh yeah Seth...I can do dumb jokes to.
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Square
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Official Ambassador
Grand Poobah of Scavenger Hunts 2011
Square-Because he looks good at all the right angles.
Posts: 18,702
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Post by Square on Jun 29, 2014 16:51:17 GMT -5
Right, lets get something cleared up. It feels like every few months some FAWA official will come up to me and go "Square, we miss you we need you back in the FAWA ring. The personification of perfection, her Majesty's greatest export, the right angle assisain needs to come home". Home? That's what FAWA is to me? BULLSHIT, FAWA was the company that I gave my blood, my sweat and my tears for YEARS and you know what I got "Square forget that big Interforums title match at Gookermania against your greatest opponent we want you to go carry Gus Richlen to a good match". FAWA can burn for all I care, I've moved on.
When my contract with FAWA finished I nearly retired, I was only 25 I could have moved back to England and got a real job and a normal life but instead Japan Dream Wrestling came and promised to treat me like the star I was, to give me great opportunities to shine and to actually enjoy wrestling. Shane "Square" Hunter and "The Living Nightmare" Kunishige Kamamoto are the GREATEST tag team in the world today, there is not a team in the world that can stand toe to toe with The Beatdown Bandits. We have run through each and every team JDW has put up against us and those tag belts arn't leaving our waists anytime soon.
And now for the first time The Beatdown Bandits are coming to America, Death Pro Wresling, July 5th to take on the Cole Twins. Identical twins, impossible to tell apart. Don't worry, by the time we're done with you the scars and lumps we'll leave in you two will definitely tell you apart. We don't play around boys, we ain't little boys dressed up as bugs we are the real McCoy. We will end you before you've even started boys. But to give you credit, you two are willing to step into the ring with us. None of those cowards from the Frankly Awful Wrestling Atrocity have the balls to.
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Post by Hulk With A Mustache on Jun 29, 2014 17:18:10 GMT -5
*We open on a man standing in front of a video screen. He has on a denim coat, white shirt, blue jeans, biker’s glove, and Doc Martin’s. Dire Straits’ “Money For Nothing” is playing. www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAD6Obi7Cag The video screen is showing images of things that happened in 1985, like the first WrestleMania, We Are The World, Phil Collins, New Coke, and other stuff.*
I’m back for 1985. Another good year. I mean, it gave us WrestleMania. But, it also gave us New Coke. On the other hand, we got Dire Straits, The Smiths, Tom Waits, The Replacements, Don’t Come Around Here No More, and Oh Yeah. But, on the other other hand, there was Phil Collins, The Super Bowl Shuffle, and We Are The World. But, the Chicago Bears and Live Aid were cool. Less cool was the PMRC and that Ryan White kid being hassled for having AIDS. Still, the NES came out. And, Super Mario Bros. was so bad, as in good. But, the Night Stalker killed 14 people, which was bad as in bad. But, we also had Back To The Future, Fletch, The Breakfast Club, Weird Science, The Goonies, Commando, Rambo, and Rocky IV. Though, we also got St. Elmo’s Fire and The Brat Pack. But, there was also Moonlighting and MacGyver. And, Jem and The Golden Girls. Though, that last one doesn’t sound as bad. Rock Hudson dying of AIDS does sound pretty bad. But hey, Pete Rose broke the career hits record. Though, he later tarnished that. But, that doesn’t matter. What does matter was that 1985 was a rad year, despite those creepy Teddy Ruxpin dolls. You people may have forgotten that, but we’ll rectify that. You’re gonna remember 1985. And, you’re gonna do something else… Choose Breakfast. The Breakfast Pack, coming soon to FAWA.
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Gus Richlen: Ruffian
Patti Mayonnaise
Metal Maestro: Co-winner of the FAN Idol Throwdown!
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Posts: 39,300 
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Post by Gus Richlen: Ruffian on Jun 29, 2014 18:38:52 GMT -5
Right, lets get something cleared up. It feels like every few months some FAWA official will come up to me and go "Square, we miss you we need you back in the FAWA ring. The personification of perfection, her Majesty's greatest export, the right angle assisain needs to come home". Home? That's what FAWA is to me? BULLSHIT, FAWA was the company that I gave my blood, my sweat and my tears for YEARS and you know what I got "Square forget that big Interforums title match at Gookermania against your greatest opponent we want you to go carry Gus Richlen to a good match". FAWA can burn for all I care, I've moved on.
When my contract with FAWA finished I nearly retired, I was only 25 I could have moved back to England and got a real job and a normal life but instead Japan Dream Wrestling came and promised to treat me like the star I was, to give me great opportunities to shine and to actually enjoy wrestling. Shane "Square" Hunter and "The Living Nightmare" Kunishige Kamamoto are the GREATEST tag team in the world today, there is not a team in the world that can stand toe to toe with The Beatdown Bandits. We have run through each and every team JDW has put up against us and those tag belts arn't leaving our waists anytime soon.
And now for the first time The Beatdown Bandits are coming to America, Death Pro Wresling, July 5th to take on the Cole Twins. Identical twins, impossible to tell apart. Don't worry, by the time we're done with you the scars and lumps we'll leave in you two will definitely tell you apart. We don't play around boys, we ain't little boys dressed up as bugs we are the real McCoy. We will end you before you've even started boys. But to give you credit, you two are willing to step into the ring with us. None of those cowards from the Frankly Awful Wrestling Atrocity have the balls to.
A LOT more careful. |
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Post by bigalbass86 AKA Smokin Vokoun on Jun 29, 2014 18:56:24 GMT -5
Right, lets get something cleared up. It feels like every few months some FAWA official will come up to me and go "Square, we miss you we need you back in the FAWA ring. The personification of perfection, her Majesty's greatest export, the right angle assisain needs to come home". Home? That's what FAWA is to me? BULLSHIT, FAWA was the company that I gave my blood, my sweat and my tears for YEARS and you know what I got "Square forget that big Interforums title match at Gookermania against your greatest opponent we want you to go carry Gus Richlen to a good match". FAWA can burn for all I care, I've moved on.
When my contract with FAWA finished I nearly retired, I was only 25 I could have moved back to England and got a real job and a normal life but instead Japan Dream Wrestling came and promised to treat me like the star I was, to give me great opportunities to shine and to actually enjoy wrestling. Shane "Square" Hunter and "The Living Nightmare" Kunishige Kamamoto are the GREATEST tag team in the world today, there is not a team in the world that can stand toe to toe with The Beatdown Bandits. We have run through each and every team JDW has put up against us and those tag belts arn't leaving our waists anytime soon.
And now for the first time The Beatdown Bandits are coming to America, Death Pro Wresling, July 5th to take on the Cole Twins. Identical twins, impossible to tell apart. Don't worry, by the time we're done with you the scars and lumps we'll leave in you two will definitely tell you apart. We don't play around boys, we ain't little boys dressed up as bugs we are the real McCoy. We will end you before you've even started boys. But to give you credit, you two are willing to step into the ring with us. None of those cowards from the Frankly Awful Wrestling Atrocity have the balls to. |
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Post by Hulk With A Mustache on Jun 29, 2014 19:50:22 GMT -5
*We open on a woman standing in front of a video screen. She has on an expensive looking pink dress with matching shoes. Madonna’s “Open Your Heart” is playing. www.youtube.com/watch?v=snsTmi9N9Gs The video screen is showing images of things that happened in 1986, like Janet Jackson, the Challenger explosion, Muammar al-Gaddafi, “Tog Gun,” and other stuff.*
Lauren Jamison: Oh my God, you guys! 1986 had a totally bogus beginning with the Challenger explosion. And, you had that Gaddafi guy causing trouble. There was that creepy Captain Midnight highjack, the Chernobyl disaster, Iran-Contra, and that Al Capone’s vault debacle. But, 1986 had like a lot a totally rad stuff as well. Van Halen got a new lead singer. Madonna went blonde! Prince was so sexy, even though I always thought he was gay. Whatever. Janet Jackson tore it up as well. Paul Simon went to Graceland. Bon Jovi got slippery when wet. The Bangles walked like Egyptians. Everybody Wang Chunged tonight. Run-DMC raised hell. See what I like did there. And, there was Top Gun, Ferris Bueller, The Fly, Aliens, Stand By Me, Blue Velvet, and Hoosiers in the theaters. There was Head Of The Class, L.A. Law, Alf, Oprah Winfrey, Designing Women, Pee-Wee’s Playhouse, Double Dare, and Matlock on TV. And, we got FOX. New bitchin’ network! Plus, that soccer guy won the World Cup for Argentina even though he totally used his hand. Mike Tyson knocked everyone out. No wonder they gave him a video game. Speaking of video games, that Zelda one was the bomb. And the Mets beat the Red Sox after they totally blew it in Game 6. It was a totally tubular year. And, you all like forgot that. Not cool, guys. But, don’t worry. We’ll help you remember it. Whether you like it or not. Just remember to like… Choose Breakfast. The Breakfast Pack, coming soon to FAWA.
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on Jun 29, 2014 22:27:21 GMT -5
Right, lets get something cleared up. It feels like every few months some FAWA official will come up to me and go "Square, we miss you we need you back in the FAWA ring. The personification of perfection, her Majesty's greatest export, the right angle assisain needs to come home". Home? That's what FAWA is to me? BULLSHIT, FAWA was the company that I gave my blood, my sweat and my tears for YEARS and you know what I got "Square forget that big Interforums title match at Gookermania against your greatest opponent we want you to go carry Gus Richlen to a good match". FAWA can burn for all I care, I've moved on.
When my contract with FAWA finished I nearly retired, I was only 25 I could have moved back to England and got a real job and a normal life but instead Japan Dream Wrestling came and promised to treat me like the star I was, to give me great opportunities to shine and to actually enjoy wrestling. Shane "Square" Hunter and "The Living Nightmare" Kunishige Kamamoto are the GREATEST tag team in the world today, there is not a team in the world that can stand toe to toe with The Beatdown Bandits. We have run through each and every team JDW has put up against us and those tag belts arn't leaving our waists anytime soon.
And now for the first time The Beatdown Bandits are coming to America, Death Pro Wresling, July 5th to take on the Cole Twins. Identical twins, impossible to tell apart. Don't worry, by the time we're done with you the scars and lumps we'll leave in you two will definitely tell you apart. We don't play around boys, we ain't little boys dressed up as bugs we are the real McCoy. We will end you before you've even started boys. But to give you credit, you two are willing to step into the ring with us. None of those cowards from the Frankly Awful Wrestling Atrocity have the balls to.
And I see you have a partner now. Good for you. I'm glad you finally went back to where you belong. By the way, don't worry about Gus being interested in trying you, I've beaten him enough times (maybe I can give you a few tips) and don't worry about Smokey, he's just hot air and I'll beat his rear end this coming NiteRaw. |
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Post by bigalbass86 AKA Smokin Vokoun on Jun 30, 2014 3:50:41 GMT -5
Right, lets get something cleared up. It feels like every few months some FAWA official will come up to me and go "Square, we miss you we need you back in the FAWA ring. The personification of perfection, her Majesty's greatest export, the right angle assisain needs to come home". Home? That's what FAWA is to me? BULLSHIT, FAWA was the company that I gave my blood, my sweat and my tears for YEARS and you know what I got "Square forget that big Interforums title match at Gookermania against your greatest opponent we want you to go carry Gus Richlen to a good match". FAWA can burn for all I care, I've moved on.
When my contract with FAWA finished I nearly retired, I was only 25 I could have moved back to England and got a real job and a normal life but instead Japan Dream Wrestling came and promised to treat me like the star I was, to give me great opportunities to shine and to actually enjoy wrestling. Shane "Square" Hunter and "The Living Nightmare" Kunishige Kamamoto are the GREATEST tag team in the world today, there is not a team in the world that can stand toe to toe with The Beatdown Bandits. We have run through each and every team JDW has put up against us and those tag belts arn't leaving our waists anytime soon.
And now for the first time The Beatdown Bandits are coming to America, Death Pro Wresling, July 5th to take on the Cole Twins. Identical twins, impossible to tell apart. Don't worry, by the time we're done with you the scars and lumps we'll leave in you two will definitely tell you apart. We don't play around boys, we ain't little boys dressed up as bugs we are the real McCoy. We will end you before you've even started boys. But to give you credit, you two are willing to step into the ring with us. None of those cowards from the Frankly Awful Wrestling Atrocity have the balls to.
And I see you have a partner now. Good for you. I'm glad you finally went back to where you belong. By the way, don't worry about Gus being interested in trying you, I've beaten him enough times (maybe I can give you a few tips) and don't worry about Smokey, he's just hot air and I'll beat his rear end this coming NiteRaw.
But honestly, I probably have more respect for Square than for our "legendary" World Champion. At least Square at the guts to get in the ring with me when I wanted him too. It took me FOUR YEARs to get Seth Drakin into the ring, and he was forced to, because I am the number one contender. At least Square had the balls to tell FAWA to go f**k themselves...just as I did. What do you got Seth? YOU GOT NOTHING!!!!
And really? I'm hot air? Wonderful. "Hot air". "I'll beat his rear end?" Really? Are we in the 1970s? Just another corny "heel" line from our "badass" World Champion. You've got nothing. Just admit you're scared and then I will respect you more. There's nothing wrong with being afraid of a man whose better than you. I'll even spring you a plane ticket so you can fly off to your mother, whose probably living in a trailer park, living in the trailer with two wheels missing. You can go home, suck on your Mom's tit and just hand over the Championship belt. That's all you have to do.
Or...you could just admit that you really are afraid of me. And I know you're response is going to be "I'm not afraid. I'm Seth Drakin, I'm never afraid."
Well that's another spot where you are just being a damn fool. Don't be a fool and hide your feelings from me. Tell me the truth. I'm all ears. |
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Post by Hulk With A Mustache on Jun 30, 2014 11:09:12 GMT -5
*We open on a man standing in front of a video screen. He has on a blue sweater with a plaid shirt underneath, khakis, white socks, and black shoes. The Beastie Boys’ “(You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Party!)” is playing. www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBShN8qT4lk The video screen is playing images of things that happened in 1987, like footage from various stock markets, Oral Roberts, U2, “Raising Arizona,” and other stuff.
Shaun Clark: 1987 was another interesting year. The yuppie culture became popular due to the American economy going on the rise with New York City’s Wall Street being the center. This stock market culture would be satirized in Thomas Woolfe’s The Bonfire Of The Vanities and heavily criticized in Oliver Stone’s Wall Street. President Reagan addressed the American people on the Iran-Contra Affair, acknowledging that his overtures to Iran had 'deteriorated' into an arms-for-hostages deal. He would also challenge Mikhail Gorbachev to tear down the Berlin Wall. Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker’s televangelist careers came to an end after fraud allegations and a sex scandal with Jessica Hahn came to public attention. Gary Hart dropped out of his run for Democratic presidential candidacy after his affair with Donna Rice was revealed after he denied it and dared the media to find evidence of it. Oral Roberts asked for 8 million dollars from his parishioners or else God would "call him home." U2, Whitesnake, The Beastie Boys, Whitney Houston, Midnight Oil, Guns ‘N’ Roses, LL Cool J, Def Leppard, INXS, and George Michael were making the hit music of the year. The popular movies were “Lethal Weapon,” “Predator,” “RoboCop,” “Dirty Dancing,” “The Living Daylights,” “The Lost Boys,” “The Princess Bride,” “Fatal Attraction,” “Moonstruck,” “Raising Arizona.” Star Trek: The Next Generation, Full House, A Different World, Thirtysomething, Duck Tales, and Remote Control came to TV airwaves. Bruce Willis and Cybil Shepard finally had sex on Moonlighting, and promptly killed a lot of interest in the show. And, who could forget Watchmen? 1987 had a lot of memorable events. Though, some people have forgotten the year nonetheless. Have no worries. We are prepared to jog your memories, so to speak. Whether you like it or not. Just remember one thing… Choose Breakfast. The Breakfast Pack, coming soon to FAWA.
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Square
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Official Ambassador
Grand Poobah of Scavenger Hunts 2011
Square-Because he looks good at all the right angles.
Posts: 18,702
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Post by Square on Jun 30, 2014 15:12:08 GMT -5
www.thewrestlingreporter.com Ask the Editor Q. With Shane "Square" Hunter refrencing FAWA for the first time in public since leaving does that show that he and possibly Kamamoto are set to sign with them? A. Highly unlikely. There is a lot of bad blood between Square and FAWA still to this day, his disastrous few months at the helm has not been forgotten by Square and neither has when FAWA needed to press legal action to get Square to wrestle Gus Richlen at Gookermania during his run with The Fallen. Even if they were to put aside this The Beatdown Bandits are one of the biggest draws for JDW, just a few months ago the Bandits vs Kyū Kyohi was main eventing JDW's main tour loop which would have made bank for all involved. Does FAWA's pockets go deep enough to entice them?
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on Jun 30, 2014 16:27:35 GMT -5
Welcome back Square....it's been a while since you were just a pawn for me in The Fallen. But don't feel too bad, Ryan Blood was also a pawn. Sure I gave you guys your limelight just so you could feel important. But truth was....you were never as good and clever as me and I knew that by playing you and him for fools. But that is the past now. I mean, I'm the world champion now and the 3 time world champ at that.
And I see you have a partner now. Good for you. I'm glad you finally went back to where you belong. By the way, don't worry about Gus being interested in trying you, I've beaten him enough times (maybe I can give you a few tips) and don't worry about Smokey, he's just hot air and I'll beat his rear end this coming NiteRaw.
But honestly, I probably have more respect for Square than for our "legendary" World Champion. At least Square at the guts to get in the ring with me when I wanted him too. It took me FOUR YEARs to get Seth Drakin into the ring, and he was forced to, because I am the number one contender. At least Square had the balls to tell FAWA to go f**k themselves...just as I did. What do you got Seth? YOU GOT NOTHING!!!!
And really? I'm hot air? Wonderful. "Hot air". "I'll beat his rear end?" Really? Are we in the 1970s? Just another corny "heel" line from our "badass" World Champion. You've got nothing. Just admit you're scared and then I will respect you more. There's nothing wrong with being afraid of a man whose better than you. I'll even spring you a plane ticket so you can fly off to your mother, whose probably living in a trailer park, living in the trailer with two wheels missing. You can go home, suck on your Mom's tit and just hand over the Championship belt. That's all you have to do.
Or...you could just admit that you really are afraid of me. And I know you're response is going to be "I'm not afraid. I'm Seth Drakin, I'm never afraid."
Well that's another spot where you are just being a damn fool. Don't be a fool and hide your feelings from me. Tell me the truth. I'm all ears.
Now as far as my parents go...they haven't lived in a trailer since before I was born and that was because they had just gotten married and didn't have enough money to afford an actual house. And you are right, there is nothing wrong with being afraid of a man that is better than me....however, you are not that guy. And considering your attire and attitude, I don't think you could afford to spring for a plane ticket. Besides, if I ran away, what would be the point to all your boasts.
Bottom line is: I am going to be there to beat you and then I am going to laugh when all your bluster turns to ash. |
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Post by Hulk With A Mustache on Jun 30, 2014 18:57:06 GMT -5
*We open on a woman standing in front of a video screen. She has on a black sweater, plaid scarf, long skirt, and Doc Martin’s. The Talking Heads’s “(Nothing But) Flowers” is playing. www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3t5nmgRVMs On the screen, we see images of things that happened in 1988, like The Wonder Years, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Jimmy Swaggert crying, “Beetlejuice,” and other stuff.
Beth Graham: 1988. Was it the most Eighties year of the Eighties? I don’t know, but it did have the most 8’s. It also had Jimmy Swaggert crying like a little bitch. Morton Downey Jr. yelling at everyone. Murphy Brown representing for the ladies. N.W.A. coming straight out of Compton. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles toys and Micro Machines everywhere. Oliver North going to jail. Die Hard, Mister Falcon. Tracy Chapman singing about a fast car. Acid wash jeans with holes in them. Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall Coming To America. Talking Heads singing about Dairy Queens and rattlesnakes. The Wonder Years bringing in Sixties nostalgia. Medical waste polluting beaches. Party lines racking up high phone charges. Slayer, Metallica, and Queenryche. Public Enemy, Living Colour, Eric B. and Rakim. Sonic Youth, Jane’s Addiction, and the Pixies. And, The Beach Boys for some reason. The Last Temptation of Christ pissing off Catholics. Ben Johnson getting busted with steroids as the Seoul Olympics. Neneh Cherry was Raw Like Sushi. Dan Quayle being no Jack Kennedy. Mike Dukakis looking ridiculous in that tank. And, Willie Horton winning the election for George Bush. Roseanne laughing. Geraldo Riviera’s nose broken. The Naked Gun making everyone laugh. Ted Turner getting into the ‘rasslin’ business. Working women in shoulder-padded, color coordinated town skirt suits. And, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice.
*Suddenly, a guy dressed as Beetlejuice walks through the scene. Beth looks confused but gets back to talking.*
Beth: Anyway, 1988 was cool year. And, you forgot it. But, we’re gonna make you remember it. Whether you like it or not. It’s time for you people to… Choose Breakfast. The Breakfast Pack, coming soon to FAWA.
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Post by bigalbass86 AKA Smokin Vokoun on Jul 1, 2014 23:28:31 GMT -5
*Vokoun is sitting in a dark ally. Rocking back and forth and is very jittery* You know...I'm sitting here. And I'm anxious. The match of my LIFE is almost here AND ISN'T HERE FAST ENOUGH!!! I know some people might say "You've waited four years for a World Title shot, you can wait another couple of days" WELL I DON'T HAVE THE PATIENCE TO SIT AROUND ANY MORE!!!!
I need a bone to chew on. I need to drink the blood of my enemy. And that enemy is Seth Drakin. You know, I've had to take his annoying arrogance his cheesy fashion sense... I MEAN THOSE GLASSES ARE UGLY!!!! They're like dollar store sunglasses that were 100 dollars. I mean who spends 100 dollars on sunglasses...MORONS THAT'S WHO!!!! And I've had to deal with Seth Drakin's droning promos, it makes meeeeee, want to pull my hair out. You know Seth, you are fingernails on a chalk board, you are white noise. That's all you are. You're no champion. YOU'RE NO CHAMPION!!!!!
The day is coming soon Seth. It's going to come. And it's going to come. It's going to come. I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR HEAD OFF YOUR WEAK SPIIIIIINEEEEE!!!!! And as I said, It's not hot air. It's the truth. That's what you keep missing through out these last few weeks of us, going on and on and on and on and on and on and on AND ON WITH OUR USELESS BANTER!!! BECAUSE ALL OF THIS DOESN'T MATTER!!! WHAT MATTERS IS WHAT GOES ON IN THE RING!!!!! IT'S FOR THAT PRIZE THAT YOU HAVE AROUND YOUR WAIST!!! A prize...that when I destroy you, will be my ticket to dominating this hell hole, known as the FAWA. A HELL HOLE YOU CREATED SETH DRAKIN!!!!
I AM GOING TO BEAT THE TRASH OUT OF YOU!! And there is nothing you can do about it. I can't wait to see and hear you try and walk it off like it's nothing. All this underestimating of your opponent....bad form. You are just like every wrestler who ever came in here, and doubted what I could do. And I beat almost everyone here. And you're next on that list. You know, MY OWN HIT LIST!!! You were always on the top of list Seth.
*Vokoun starts to shake violently....then starts to giggle*
I only know blood, Seth. Blood is my life. Your blood and my blood will join together in this match. You and I, are going to get to know each other...just a little bit more. They say, you judge a man, by how he bleeds for his cause. My cause is the destruction of the FAWA, as we know it. It's already happening, Seth. But you are just to dumb to see it. IT'S MY TIME, IT'S MY WORLD AND SOOOOON..IT WILL BE MY CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!!!!!!
*Vokoun picks up a trash can, bashes himself over the head, until he starts to bleed*
YOU SEE THIS SETH!!!!! ?? THIS IS A FACE THAT DOESN'T CARE WHAT YOU DO TO ME!!!!!
*He wipes his face full of blood. He then licks his hand*
Tastes like victory, Seth. You're blood....well....will taste even better.
*Vokoun walks off singing a deranged version of "My Kind of Town" And then starts to giggle. |
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Post by Hulk With A Mustache on Jul 5, 2014 11:36:28 GMT -5
*We open on a man standing in front of a video screen. He has on a letterman’s jacket, plain white T-shirt, and jeans. Public Enemy’s “Fight The Power” is playing. www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PaoLy7PHwk Behind him, the video screen plays images from 1989, like “Do The Right Thing,” “Batman,” the Berlin Wall being torn down, and the 49ers winning the Super Bowl.
Nick Britt: 1989 the number another summer (get down)/Sound of the funky drummer/Music hittin' your heart cause I know you got sould. *laughs* You had Public Enemy fighting the power. You had House Of Style and De La Soul. You had Do The Right Thing and When Harry Met Sally. Arsenio Hall and The Satanic Verses. The Berlin Wall coming down and Ayatollah Khomeini dying. There was Doogie Howser and Rain Man. There was Tiananmen Square and Exxon Valedez. We had Heathers and Batman. Bobby Brown and Milli Vanilli. Quantum Leap and Field Of Dreams. Like A Prayer and Me So Horny. Robert Mapplethorpe and The Cure. Domino’s avoided the noid while Eastern Europe got rid of the Communists. The B-52 Stealth Bomber had its first flight while the B-52’s partied at the Love Shack. Stevie Ray Vaughn dies and the Menedez brothers shot their parents. Honey I Shrunk The Kids, and we got it here on UHF. Leona Helmsley went to jail and Pete Rose got banned from baseball. The Game Boy came out as did the SEGA. We had Road House and Baywatch. The Simpsons and Family Matters. American Gladiators and America’s Funniest Home Videos. The 49ers won the Super Bowl, and the World Series got interrupted by an earthquake. And, while Morgan Freeman was driving Miss Daisy, Gen. Noriega was getting drowned out with heavy metal. It was the end of the Eighties. But, they didn’t die. They lived on in our hearts. But, you people forgot that! Well, guess what!? We’re gonna make you remember it. Whether you like it or not. Just remember one thing… Choose Breakfast. The Breakfast Pack, coming soon to FAWA.
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Post by bigalbass86 AKA Smokin Vokoun on Jul 6, 2014 11:54:33 GMT -5
We see Smokin Vokoun pacing back and forth like a caged animal WHEN IS THE MATCH GOING TO START!!!!?
Smokin Vokoun picks up a chair and flings it across the room This is biggest match of my life. There will never be a match bigger than this in FAWA right now. It's my time, to prove to Seth Drakin and the entire world that I'M A THE BEST IN THE WORLD!!! I AM CHAMPIONSHIP MATERIAL!!!!!
Everything that I've done to this point. All the hard work, all the drama, all the screw jobs, all the politics. All the walk outs. All the comebacks........it ends here tonight. It's my time to take the reigns. It's my time, Seth Drakin's time...is passed. He's a great wrestler, I never said that he wasn't. But it's time for him to step aside and let me take over!!!!
In closing...
*Vokoun starts to get emotional You know, when I got here in 2010. No one believed in me. No one saw anything in me. But I remember over hearing one man, a man who is the only man I ever respected in this company. He said to someone...."I think Smokin Vokoun is growing on me. I have a feeling, he's going to be World Heavyweight Champion. That man...WAS THE BOILER ROOM BRAWLER!!!!! THE ONLY MAN WHO ACTUALLY GAVE ME A CHANCE!!! HE'S MORE OF A MAN THAN YOU COULD EVER BE SETH DRAKIN!!!! YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!!
I think you held him down too. Because, just like me, he didn't look like a world champion. But he pulled one over you, because he's one of the greatest of all time, despite what many people have done to him. He's still one of the all time greats. And just to think about this Seth, when I beat you for the title. It will be not only the world's worst nightmare...but it will be your worst nightmare. And that's what keeps you up at night.....isn't it? Well tonight.....the time for talking for talking is over. And it will be MY TIME TO PROVE WITHOUT A SHADOW OF A DOUBT THAT I AM ON NOT JUST YOUR LEVEL SETH DRAKIN........but I'm on my own level. |
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Post by bigalbass86 AKA Smokin Vokoun on Jul 6, 2014 22:58:20 GMT -5
We cut to a destroyed locker room. Smokin Vokoun throwing trash cans and chairs around the area.
GUS RICHLIN!!!!!! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU AND I WANT TO RIP THAT BITCH OF A GIRLFRIEND'S HEAD OFF!!!!!
You know, I should have known you were going to pop your head in, uninvited into this match. I should have known. That was dumb on my part. You just being out there, was the ONLY REASON I LOST!!!!! Seth Drakin was beaten. He was not going to be able to beat me...but you had to just sit back and watch. And to bring your little whore girlfriend out there.
You played this so perfectly, yet f**ked up so badly at the same time. Because I know you got what you wanted. But you really screwed the Goddamned pooch. Because I would have given you a title shot. Because I knew you wanted revenge. I knew that. I wanted you to come at me. You could have come at me weeks ahead of time....but of course, you're the biggest coward in this rotten company. You couldn't have come at me with anything. Hell, your girlfriend has more balls than you do.
I would have given you a title shot. But now...I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU DEATH!!!!! YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!
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?? THIS IS A FACE THAT DOESN'T CARE WHAT YOU DO TO ME!!!!!