Paul Dano felt Luther Reigns Girlfriends Tits and put him...

[Deleted]

....through a table. What are the funniest no context things you can say wrestling related?

[Hawk Hart]

Jesus stabbed Cena, Cena beat the piss outta Jesus at Armageddon.

[Sumbody Gon' Get Dey Kneelift]

Vince's ass can talk and has its own TV show.

[bootytea]

A native American hates the white man so much that he assaulted a bath turd hating brother that wanted to be his pal.

[rapidfire187]

Kurt Angle said he wanted to have beastiality sex with Sharmell.

John Cena said he wanted to take a shit on The Rock's chest. In front of children!

[Deleted]

The Rock and Kurt Angle fought each other... In prison.

[Mozenrath]

Crash Holly defended his title from Mosh and Thrasher, the Headbangers, at Funtime USA.

[AnActualBear]

The Undertaker was actually an Undertaker who just happened to wrestle for some reason, who as a child killed his parents and burned his family home, which led to his brother seeking revenge, which in turn led to a match where Undertaker set his brother on fire again and was considered to be the hero, but then he started worshiping the devil so he had several matches with a drunk bald redneck but then he disappeared and came back as a middle aged biker, eventually he was murdered by his brother but he came back to life and coincidentally acts the same as he did when he was first in the company and now he can somehow shoot lightning from his hands and yet he still got pinned by being kicked once by a tall Indian man.

RUN ON SENTENCES.

[Deleted]

Mr. McMahon's had a leprechaun who he thought was his son, so in order to teach him about sex he set him up with a Mexican-American wrestler named Melina. They had a date later on in the night, only for Melina to dump the leprechaun, stating to her large-breasted fellow wrestler that she only dated him so she could get a future match for the Women's Championship. Annoyed by this, the leprechaun later on in the evening snuck into the locker room and watched Melina shower, hiding under a towel to hide his identity when she covered up. Melina saw the leprechaun and immediately screamed and ran out of the shower room, running through the arena corridors with only a towel on. The leprechaun in an act of revenge stole the towel and left Melina naked as she exited the arena through a door.

I won't even go into the weirdness that was the Vince/Hornswoggle/Finlay/JBL storyline a few months later.

[ededdneddy]

The Mean Street Posse dressed up as clowns and Pete Gas showed that he can make his voice very high pitched.

[Deleted]

Lita was raped and forced to marry the person who did it, and wound up becoming a villain for getting revenge.

[mrbananagrabber]

A rich Mexican wrestlers butler became jealous because a rookie wrestler was being trained by the rich wrestler as part of a TV show.

Anyway, the rookie wrestler had features that supposedly resemble a rodent, so using this fact the butler set a trap using pieces of cheese scattered on the floor as bait. This worked.

Some years later, this man who once liked cheese so much is now a growling, terrifying supernatural entity who has blue lights in his hands.

[Rumble McSkirmish]

Mosh one half of the successful tag team "The Headbangers" became a 1950's sitcom character who had an implied "incestuous" relationship with his "mother", who then renounced the gimmick on live TV and became Chaz a fun loving kid from Jersey and his "mother" was revealed to be his girlfriend, who then for no reason at all claimed that Chaz abused her all of the time which drew the ire of everyone in the locker room (Including The Godfather, a well known pimp) until Chaz's former partner came out and revealed via hidden video tape that she was lying the whole time, and then the two became the Headbangers once more.

[Deleted]

Aug 30, 2013 14:05:27 GMT -5 Rumble McSkirmish said:

Mosh one half of the successful tag team "The Headbangers" became a 1950's sitcom character who had an implied "incestuous" relationship with his "mother", who then renounced the gimmick on live TV and became Chaz a fun loving kid from Jersey and his "mother" was revealed to be his girlfriend, who then for no reason at all claimed that Chaz abused her all of the time which drew the ire of everyone in the locker room (Including The Godfather, a well known pimp) until Chaz's former partner came out and revealed via hidden video tape that she was lying the whole time, and then the two became the Headbangers once more.

And eventually he started wearing a turban for no apparent reason.

[crowwreak was WRONG]

Aug 30, 2013 13:59:30 GMT -5 Lizuka #BLM said:

Lita was raped and forced to marry the person who did it, and wound up becoming a villain for getting revenge.

Wow, I've never actually thought about it like that. What the hell, writers?

[Sektor]

A custody dispute was decided in a ladder match.

[Deleted]

Vince McMahon survived his car exploding when Chris Benoit murdered his family and then committed suicide.

[Sparkybob]

Brock Lesnar pushed a handicapped man down the stairs.

[Crappler El 0 M]

Kevin Nash sent a text message to himself instructing himself to 'stick the winner' at SummerSlam 2011. Nash didn't instruct himself to 'stick it to the winner.' He told himself to 'stick the winner.'

[Deleted]

Aug 30, 2013 18:31:12 GMT -5 Crappler El 0 M said:

Kevin Nash sent a text message to himself instructing himself to 'stick the winner' at SummerSlam 2011. Nash didn't instruct himself to 'stick it to the winner.' He told himself to 'stick the winner.'

The payoff to the CM Punk / John Cena feud was a Triple H / Kevin Nash match.