"Ooh! Just like that Mr. Tyger! You certainly are a big beast!"
Senor Tyger found this all to be quite embarrassing. The freakin' awesome network informed the Host that, to coincide with FAN Idol Season IX, a film was to be commissioned to show the musical competition in the very best possible light. The network shareholders hired this man to direct this most important project:
The Host doing some light acting was fine, to be expected in fact, since one had to market this Season after the Demented debacle during the last one. It was nothing short of a miracle that Bray Wyatt and World Wrestling Entertainment hadn't sued the Freakin' Awesome Network to its last penny. But this? Fighting George Washington on a boat in a middle of a rain storm was madness.
Goldust: ... yes, that's it. Try to stab him! Go on, one more try and we'll have the scene!
Alex Hayden: Weapon X, dressed as George Washington and brandishing a sword: *Nods Head* Have at you, you scoundrel!!
Senor Tyger: (Roars) GAH! DAMNIT! (Shouts at the director) You shiny lunatic, cut scene already!
Goldust stopped the scene and congratulated Alex Hayden on his fine performance.
Goldust: Now remember, Mr. Hayden, left foot forward, raise the sword, and then *making a bite gesture* slash at the Tyger. He'll duck.
Senor Tyger: Duck. Yeah, thanks, you jackass.
The trio were wrapping up an epic scene of man vs. nature, good vs. evil, waged upon the roaring tide. Bad enough that Senor Tyger was soaked to his bones but Hayden really seemed to have it in for him with the sword. The Host had to remind the contestant that the judges' scores were outside his jurisdiction.
This dramatic scene was only one action packed section of a larger story. The Bizarre One had many scenes in mind for the remaining 15 Would-Be Idols.
Lodi "Wyatt" Rulz, dressed as a Circus Strongman (addressing Goldust): So... I'm supposed to chase that chicken?
Goldust: No, no. (Closing eyes and deep in thought for a moment) Mr. Lodi, you are supposed to be
conflicted. Should you chase that chicken or should you let that chicken finish its song and then chase
you? That chicken, Mr. Lodi (spasms out a bit as if in electric shock), is your musical muse and the question, my dear boy, is should you chase the Muse or let it chase you?
Lodi "Wyatt" Rulz (eating a bagel from catering): You know, I had my doubts. Listen to the chicken play "O Susanna" and then run after it. I have to say, now that you explained it, that it makes all the sense in the world. Chasing after fame, looking for inspiration, for musical success. You know, you are quite brilliant, Mr. Goldus-
Goldust (yelling at the rooster): Come back here, you chicken! I'm a star. A Star! (The rooster sensibly ran away from the painted Superstar, who was on the verge of an artistic breakdown)
Goldust (chasing the rooster): You stupid chicken! Don't run away from my Genius!
Later, the son of the Son of a Plumber stumbled upon another fountainhead of creative inspiration and was just ducky about what he had planned:
Inside a the Freakin Awesome Network's Hell in a Cell:
Goldust: Yes, yes! 50 eggs! Think about it, 50 eggs! It's as if you want to eat Life itself! And, remember, there were 50 prisoners in Cool Hand Luke! You are going to eat them all! It will work because you will make it work. Imagine all that life inside you!
Orange (dressed up in an Orange convict's suit): But I don't want all that life inside me! Why does it have to be eggs? I hate eggs!
Goldust (looking up and down Orange): What if I painted them Orange, would that make you feel more comfortable? Imagine them hanging a grove somewhere. They aren't eggs but oranges, citrus fruit that remind you that a place exists outside of this prison. A place where you could be free and the future is forever on the horizon!
Orange: Well, if you say so... I'll give it a shot. (Starts eating the hard boiled eggs)
Sloth Spartan, hanging upside down from the cell and motivating Orange: Awww, why did you have to get 50 eggs Orange? Couldn't you have eaten 20 or 30? Just think about them like they was pebbles. Rocks. Little tangerines. Yeah, that's it, get mad at them Eggs!
Goldust was quite happy with the progress being made on the FAN Idol movie and he had oh so many avant-garde moments in store for the unlucky contestants:
He's Back (The Man Behind the Mask)- Alice Cooper (Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-ttITQI-bMThe Ludovico Technique- Buckethead (references A Clockwork Orange)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8wr4yARCj8Love You Madly- Cake (Forgetting Sarah Marshall)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=2uwjsG0cRf0Breakfast at Tiffany's- Deep Blue Something (references Breakfast at Tiffany's)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ClCpfeIELwOoh La La- The Faces (Rushmore)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELQOnEgzt-IJump Into the Fire- Harry Nilsson (Goodfellas)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QghwNqlCRE&app=desktopMaking of a Cyborg- Kenji Kawai (Ghost In The Shell)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0z08OpmEPcI Saw The Ape Man (On The Moon)- The Lillingtons (references The Ape Man)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BovrCTxbqZ4Holiday- Madonna (Rugrats Go Wild)
m.youtube.com/watch?v=5Rswx2Z7SDw
Johnny B. Goode- Marvin Berry and the Starlighters (Back to the Future)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=zg2d1u0UbIMAstro Zombies- The Misfits (inspired by Astro Zombies)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZJPPOLBDcc&sns=emYou're a Wolf- Sea Wolf (Zombieland)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaO3FxymlNgMoonraker- Shirley Bassey (Moonraker)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2votKniI6kBattle without Honor or Humanity - Tomoyasu Hotei (Kill Bill)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DtiC3WFs60The Saga Begins- Weird Al (references Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEcjgJSqSRU 
. Lot of work went into that. 
. Lot of work went into that. 
.