Nr1Humanoid
Hank Scorpio
Is the #3 humanoid at best.
Posts: 5,605
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Post by Nr1Humanoid on May 6, 2015 13:45:41 GMT -5
Rather than one you've heard somewhere?
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on May 6, 2015 13:59:49 GMT -5
Of course.
They're usually in-the-moment type jokes rather than stand up material. Most of the time its contextual to whatever's going on so I can't remember any right now.
Nothing kills a joke faster than going, "hey i gotta joke, check this out."
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Post by tigermaskxxxvii on May 6, 2015 14:15:02 GMT -5
I do stand up.....So no.
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Mackenzie Gorn
Don Corleone
I want my personal title back, but I don't know how!
AND THE WAVE OF POSSESIONS DEVOLVE INTO A CHEVY!
Posts: 2,036
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Post by Mackenzie Gorn on May 6, 2015 14:18:22 GMT -5
My favorite is
I refuse to give up my bus seat to a man in a wheelchair.IT'S TIME TO STAND UP TO THOSE WHO CAN'T!!
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Post by The Spelunker! on May 6, 2015 14:56:47 GMT -5
At least a few new ones a week.
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Toxik916
Hank Scorpio
Sacramento Proud
Posts: 6,209 
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Post by Toxik916 on May 6, 2015 15:08:32 GMT -5
Daily.
I'm constantly writing jokes and I'm quick witted for a funny off the cuff response.
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Perd
Patti Mayonnaise
Leslie needs to butt out for fear of receiving The Bunghole Buster
Posts: 32,486
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Post by Perd on May 6, 2015 15:25:34 GMT -5
All the time. With varying degrees of success.
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Eunös ✈
Dalek
Duck Feet Expert
Tolerated, just not practically liked.
Posts: 59,312
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Post by Eunös ✈ on May 6, 2015 15:27:59 GMT -5
Yes I have
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Post by "Mr Wonderdick" Dick Dastardly on May 6, 2015 17:06:22 GMT -5
I was in a talent competition when I was a kid (maybe like 9-10 years old) and I did a stand-up routine.
There was one joke I remember that I made up. It was hella lame, but I was surprised I wasn't yanked off the stage considering the content.
"So, Reggie Miller needed to slim down after a lazy off season. He goes to a bar with some teammates and finds these really cute girls sitting at the bar. He goes up to them and goes "Hey ladies, anyone in the mood for a Miller Lite?"
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Post by Magic knows Black Lives Matter on May 6, 2015 17:08:19 GMT -5
Of course. They're usually in-the-moment type jokes rather than stand up material. Most of the time its contextual to whatever's going on so I can't remember any right now. Nothing kills a joke faster than going, "hey i gotta joke, check this out." Yeah, my funniest jokes are the ones I come up with in the spur of the moment. More organic that way instead of just repeating something you heard (which can be funny too, it just takes a certain kind of person to make it funny). |
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Post by "Gentleman" AJ Powell on May 6, 2015 17:15:33 GMT -5
Ayup. I'm always shooting off snarky responses. It's part of my appeal/what makes me a terrible person.
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Post by Hassan bin Sober on May 6, 2015 17:22:19 GMT -5
I often say when people are arguing about the addictiveness of marijuana, "I've smoked weed every day for the past X amount of years and have YET to get addicted." I may have stole this from somewhere but I think it was original to me.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on May 6, 2015 17:40:30 GMT -5
I have one.
Why don't Nazis drink milk?
Because they're intolerant.
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Sephiroth
Wade Wilson
Surviving
Posts: 29,402
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Post by Sephiroth on May 6, 2015 18:38:52 GMT -5
All Floyd Mayweather did was use the classic rope-a-dope strategy. The difference is that when Mohammed Ali did it, he was dancing around, taking everything George Foreman had so he could walk out with the title. When Mayweather did it, he danced around and took everything the audience had so he could walk out with all their money.
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The Sam
El Dandy
The Brainiest Sam of all
Posts: 8,423
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Post by The Sam on May 6, 2015 18:41:46 GMT -5
I was the first to ask what is the deal with airline peanuts.
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Post by lildude8218 on May 6, 2015 18:44:28 GMT -5
you know what type of people make me laugh?
comedians
no one ever gets it.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on May 6, 2015 18:49:18 GMT -5
Sure. Like others said, mostly as spur-of-the-moment things. A lot of times I play the straight man and make observations or statements to set up other peoples' jokes.
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Post by Banjo Is Broken on May 6, 2015 18:51:18 GMT -5
So I was in the super market the other day and I saw a bottle of Extra Virgin olive oil. "Extra Virgin?" What does that mean? It hasn't even touch itself yet?
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Dr. T is an alien
Patti Mayonnaise
Knows when to hold them, knows when to fold them
I've been found out!
Posts: 31,585
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Post by Dr. T is an alien on May 6, 2015 19:49:16 GMT -5
Yes, I have. It wasn't good by any means. In fact, it was terrible. Still, it was original.
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Jiren
Patti Mayonnaise
Hearts Bayformers
Posts: 35,163
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Post by Jiren on May 6, 2015 23:29:14 GMT -5
I once started a Joke, But it started the world crying
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