Goldenbane
Hank Scorpio
THE G.D. Goldenbane
Posts: 7,331
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Post by Goldenbane on Sept 11, 2015 22:00:30 GMT -5
A man went to his doctor and said "Doctor, last night I dreamed I was the tail pipe on my car, and the night before that I dreamed I was one of the wheels on my car!"
"Why is that a problem?" The doctor asked.
"Because I've been waking up tired and exhausted."
Ha ha ha ha!
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The Unconquered Sun
King Koopa
He has no pants! What a heathen!
Lord of Storms and Kittens!
Posts: 11,548
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Post by The Unconquered Sun on Sept 12, 2015 1:14:42 GMT -5
A man tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him it was the last thing I needed
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Post by PsychoGoatee on Sept 12, 2015 2:41:47 GMT -5
Before we start, did anyone lose a bunch of twenties rolled up in a rubber band? Because... we found the rubber band.
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Post by Father Dougal McGuire on Sept 12, 2015 3:52:41 GMT -5
Did you ever blow bubbles back in the day?
Well he is back in town and looking for you
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ibdude
Don Corleone
Posts: 1,706
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Post by ibdude on Sept 12, 2015 4:05:28 GMT -5
How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced? A buck an ear!! Why was the monkey hanging from the tree? {Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler} Because it was dead.
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Reflecto
Hank Scorpio
The Sorceress' Knight
Posts: 6,847
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Post by Reflecto on Sept 12, 2015 12:40:34 GMT -5
I went through this whole thread and found double-digits worth of cheap wordplay. I hoped some could make me laugh, but no pun in ten did.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Sept 12, 2015 12:50:16 GMT -5
How do you pick out a blind person in a nudist colony?
It ain't hard...
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67 more
King Koopa
He's just a Sexy Kurt
Posts: 11,491
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Post by 67 more on Sept 12, 2015 13:25:41 GMT -5
Why did the capacitor marry the diode?
He couldn't resistor.
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Post by Hit Girl on Sept 12, 2015 14:31:10 GMT -5
What do you get if you cross a lion and a tiger?
Probably eaten.
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Post by DASH 243✅ on Sept 18, 2015 21:54:24 GMT -5
did you hear about the guy who got shot with the starter pistol?
police think it's race related
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Brood Lone Wolf Funker
Ozymandius
Got fined anyway. Possibly a Moose
James Franco is the white Donald Glover
Posts: 61,747
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Post by Brood Lone Wolf Funker on Sept 18, 2015 21:58:58 GMT -5
A man walks into a bar and says ouch
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the2ndevil
Grimlock
Super Seducer Survivor
Where Is Your Santa, Now?
Posts: 13,628
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Post by the2ndevil on Sept 18, 2015 23:24:41 GMT -5
Why do teen girls hang around in odd number groups?
Because they literally can't even.
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The Unconquered Sun
King Koopa
He has no pants! What a heathen!
Lord of Storms and Kittens!
Posts: 11,548
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Post by The Unconquered Sun on Sept 19, 2015 7:22:30 GMT -5
I was walking down the street the other day and saw a man and a dog at the corner. I asked the man "does your dog bite?" "Nope,"he replied. So I went to pat the dog and he jumped up and bite my hand! "That's not my dog" the man said.
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The Unconquered Sun
King Koopa
He has no pants! What a heathen!
Lord of Storms and Kittens!
Posts: 11,548
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Post by The Unconquered Sun on Oct 23, 2015 19:34:14 GMT -5
I was walking past a cemetery the other day and saw a man drop to knees before a grave. He started to wail and cry, "Why? Why did you die? It's so unfair! I wish it was me instead!" "I'm so sorry," I said, "was this your wife?" "No," he said, "my wife's 1st husband."
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Post by willywonka666 on Oct 23, 2015 19:39:36 GMT -5
What's brown and has holes?
Swiss shit
Bonus for anyone that knows what movie that came from
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Brood Lone Wolf Funker
Ozymandius
Got fined anyway. Possibly a Moose
James Franco is the white Donald Glover
Posts: 61,747
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Post by Brood Lone Wolf Funker on Oct 23, 2015 19:40:37 GMT -5
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eyedeer
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Post by Ash Kingston on Oct 23, 2015 19:58:39 GMT -5
A joke, huh... ...okay, got one.
TNA.
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Post by moondoggie on Oct 23, 2015 22:18:34 GMT -5
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Post by Magic knows Black Lives Matter on Oct 24, 2015 0:05:25 GMT -5
Why do teen girls hang around in odd number groups? Because they literally can't even. Amazing.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Oct 24, 2015 0:42:28 GMT -5
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eyedeer What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no eyedeer.
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