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Post by DASH 243✅ on Jul 8, 2016 19:53:51 GMT -5
Why did the one arm man cross the road?
To get to the second hand store
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wisdomwizard
King Koopa
Too Salty
Watching you.
Posts: 11,087 
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Post by wisdomwizard on Jul 8, 2016 21:09:59 GMT -5
Where do you find a pear store?
On a Dan Schneider show.
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LastCall
Crow T. Robot
Never Asked For This
Getting dark. Bring a FlashLight.
Posts: 42,517
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Post by LastCall on Jul 8, 2016 22:03:05 GMT -5
I set my phone on airplane mode.
It won't stop calling me Shirley.
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ERON
Hank Scorpio
Posts: 6,679
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Post by ERON on Jul 8, 2016 23:19:08 GMT -5
How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
An orange.
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Perd
Patti Mayonnaise
Leslie needs to butt out for fear of receiving The Bunghole Buster
Posts: 31,485
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Post by Perd on Jul 8, 2016 23:40:47 GMT -5
What's RVD difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are a $1.69 deer nuts are under a buck.
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Post by bitteroldman on Jul 9, 2016 3:54:39 GMT -5
How do u tell if a ants a girl or boy? Poor water on it and if it floots its boyant! I thought all ants were girls, if it was a boy wouldn't it be an uncle? |
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Gecko
King Koopa
FAN Pyrite Member. Muahahaha
Posts: 12,725
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Post by Gecko on Jul 9, 2016 4:05:15 GMT -5
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was outstanding in his field.
What's E.T. short for?
Because he's only got little legs.
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Post by bitteroldman on Jul 9, 2016 4:37:59 GMT -5
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs who's hanging on your wall?
Art
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs who's spent too much time in your hot tub?
Stu
What's red and sits in the corner?
A baby with a razor blade
What's green and sits in the corner?
Same baby, two weeks later
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The Unconquered Sun
King Koopa
He has no pants! What a heathen!
Lord of Storms and Kittens!
Posts: 11,537
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Post by The Unconquered Sun on Jul 15, 2016 9:01:01 GMT -5
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
"Something between us smells."
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jul 15, 2016 9:12:29 GMT -5
A man and a chicken are lying in two separate beds.
Man: "My pillow is filled with human skin."
Chicken: "My pillow is filled with chicken feathers. We are both some psychos,right? Hahaha. Good night."
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Post by taker1990 on Jul 15, 2016 9:58:24 GMT -5
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Post by "Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay on Jul 15, 2016 13:34:45 GMT -5
Stolen from Game Grumps: a man walks into a bar.
His alcoholism is destroying his family.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jul 15, 2016 13:41:09 GMT -5
"Hello, my whole herd has disappeared except for the cow you sold me, so I...what do you mean, *non-vegetarian cow'?"
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Post by DASH 243✅ on Jul 15, 2016 18:57:27 GMT -5
Why did the belt get arrested?
It held up a pair of pants
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Spiderfab '84
Patti Mayonnaise
Dedicated 6,666th post to Irontyger
I believe in Joe Hendry.
Posts: 38,266
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Post by Spiderfab '84 on Jul 22, 2016 7:51:54 GMT -5
How is the NBA different from the WWE?
One of them knows how to give up on Charlotte.
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Post by Bob Schlapowitz on Jul 22, 2016 8:34:32 GMT -5
What's got 9 arms and sucks?
Def Leppard.
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Post by "Evil Brood" Jackson Vanik on Jul 22, 2016 9:04:35 GMT -5
Joe: I spent my last winter in a very pretty city in Switzerland.
Dan: Berne?
Joe: Oh god no, it was freezing!
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Post by Hokago #BLM on Jul 22, 2016 17:10:22 GMT -5
What kind of fruit does John Cena like? {Spoiler}Fine {Spoiler}watermelon |
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The Unconquered Sun
King Koopa
He has no pants! What a heathen!
Lord of Storms and Kittens!
Posts: 11,537
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Post by The Unconquered Sun on Jul 22, 2016 20:06:33 GMT -5
Billy and Jimmy were always in a competition with each other. Always trying to out do the other. One night they started to talk about parachuting and of course each said they would be better at it than the other. The next morning they both signed up for a jump session. When they were up 5000 feet, the jump master gave them the OK, and they jumped out of the plane.
While he was falling Billy pulled his chord and the chute failed to open. Billy buzzed past Jimmy on his way to his death. When he looked back at his friend, he saw Jimmy remove his chute.
"OH! SO YOU WANNA RACE NOW???"
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MolotovMocktail
Grimlock
Home of the 5-time, 5-time, 5-time, 5-time 5-time Super Bowl Champion 49ers-and Wrestlemania 31
Posts: 13,775
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Post by MolotovMocktail on Jul 22, 2016 20:43:52 GMT -5
What's the difference between Bill Cosby and the IRS?
Bill Cosby gives you a drink first.
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