and now, something that you've ALL LOOKED FORWARD TO READING, and i've been looking forward to finishing ..... 'cos you know, that ROCKET BUSTIN' story that i started and haven't finished .....
but enough of that
LET'S GET ON WITH IT
*meanwhile, at the royal doctors ..... thing*
<NURSE REDHEART>MY CELESTIA ..... look at this chart!
<DOCTOR HORSE>I know ..... that my little pony Christmas album is terrible!
<NURSE REDHEART>*slowly takes record off DOCTOR HORSE* no, THIS ONE!!!
<DOCTOR HORSE>DEER GOD, it barely fits in the x-ray!
we must get to the sold out theatre IMMEDIATELY!!!
.....
*voice-over* and now, please be upstanding for our GLOOOOOOOOOOOORIOUS QUEEN .....
*music starts up .....*
DUUUN DUN DU NU
OH YOU DIDN'T KNOW .....
DUUUN DUN DU NU
YOUR FLANK BETTA CAAAAAAAAAAAAALL SOMEPONYYYYYYYYY
.....
pegasisters and bronys
fillies of all ages
DeGenerationPony proudly presents .....
.....
THE ROADMARE TICKET JAMES
THE BADFILLY NYXXY GUNN
.....
THE O ..... C .....
SECURITY!!!!!!<O&C SECURITY TICKET JAMES>YEEEEEEEES we are baaaaaak!!!
did you miss us???
<O&C SECURITY NYXXY GUNN>I certainly missed them TICKET JAMES ..... I missed YOU and YOU and YOU and even YOU *hugs YOU*
<O&C SECURITY TICKET JAMES>yes ..... so before the mane event coming up, right here on the FAN FORUMS, here are some funny jokes .....
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}LASTCALL
CM WATERS
MR EUNOS
MD 2.whatever
wasn't those jokes funny???
*audience applauds ..... whether they know who they're talking about or not*
<O&C SECURITY TICKET JAMES>so with that out the way, let's get on with things, so now without out any further ado ..... with much fanfare ..... and great applebloom ..... *get on with it* ..... THE ONE, THE ONLY, THE GLOOOOOOOOOORIOUS QUEEN HERSELF!!!
*imperial march blasts out*
OUR MOST MAJESTIC QUEEN OF QUEENS AITSELEC SSECNIRP!!!
*accompanied by THE QUEENS PERSONAL ASSISTANT RAVEN, QUEEN OF QUEENS AITSELEC SSECNIRP steps out onto the FANforums stage, as fat as a warthog who's been at the chocolates and anything else that isn't nailed down to the counter, waves to the adoring crowd with all the clapping and cheering and jumping up and down and all that lovey dovey stuff ..... because it's either that or hear about retro's gigantic illegal rarity collection*
<O&C SECURITY TICKET JAMES>*sings badly* isn't she beauuuuuutiful ..... isn't she loooooovely ..... isn't she massiiiiiiiive in size and weight .....
*some of the audience faint in total excitement*
<QUEEN OF QUEENS AITSELEC SSECNIRP>THANK YOU MY LOYAL SUBJECTS!
you are so wonderful *grunts*, now before I literally burst with excitement, let me just sit ..... *huffs* down here on my throne ..... AAHHHH there we go! *the throne creaks under the enormous weight*
all settled ..... oh ms raven, please hand me my platter of meats and fruits over there?
<O&C SECURITY NYXXY GUNN>HA, FRUITS!
<THE QUEENS PERSONAL ASSISTANT RAVEN>yes indeedy my liege *slaps nyxxy gunn*
<QUEEN OF QUEENS AITSELEC SSECNIRP>ahh, this is nice, sitting here before the FANforums and all those silly pony people. so before I start on this 400 page new pony year speech i have planned *everyone cheers at the news* let me just say that this year has been a challenge for DeGenerationPony .....
it all started when Equestria cooled, then the ponysaurs came, but they apparently all died out in VEEEEEERY mysterious circumstances, and they all turned into a fat globulous mass ..... just like the FANfurm mods HEHE ..... then some evil foreign horses bought all those toys that HASBRO produced that weren't dangerous and malfunctioning and came apart as soon as you looked at them NO WAI ..... and speaking of evil foreign horses my FIRST guests for tonight's excellent adventure is .....
SOME EVIL FOREIGN HORSES AMIRA AND HAAKIM!!!
*evil foreign horse music plays evilly*
<"SADDLE ARABIA NUMBER ONE" AMIRA>YES SADLE ARABIA NUMBER ONE!!!
<"SADDLE ARABIA NUMBER ONE" HAAKIM>now dear, we must not be so mad at these Equestria types, after all ..... they do buy our merchandise in horrendously large numbers, why do you think we're so blooming RICH???
<QUEEN OF QUEENS AITSELEC SSECNIRP>and speaking of rich, I do believe you have some sort of announcement to make, to your wonderful audience here and around Equestria?
<"SADDLE ARABIA NUMBER ONE" HAAKIM>yes I do my lovely queen type thing *stands in front of the stage* as of this day forth, we are now the PRIME FINANCIERS of DeGenerationPony! so if they want something, we'll buy it for them! if the queen wants a brand new inflatable Nikki she'll get one!! if we deem it necessary to BUY the pony rumble winner ..... THAT WILL HAPPEN!!!
*some minion ..... no not THAT minion ..... comes out with a gigantic cheque with a HELL of a big number on it, and every pony oohs and aahs*
<QUEEN OF QUEENS AITSELEC SSECNIRP>why, how generous of you, this will cover some of my meal allowance .....
<THE QUEENS PERSONAL ASSISTANT RAVEN>NO it won't, you know you are on a diet *nyxxy gunn giggles* so it goes into the DeGeneraionPony bank account and not RESTING IN IT!!!
<QUEEN OF QUEENS AITSELEC SSECNIRP>what a wonderful and generous gift from these lovely evil foreign horses, give it up for AMIRA AND HAAKIM everypony!
but as you know, a queens speech isn't complete without a very special guest ..... a griffin who this year made the most of the PonyMania mane event that made every sick to their stomachs ..... and turned it into one of THE most talked about moments in the pony wrestling world .....
accompanied by THE BIG RED DRAGON GARBLE and IZZY EXPLOSIVO *yay*
THE GREATEST EVER E.W.E. HEAVYPONYWEIGHT CHAMPION .....
GIIIIIIIIIIIILDAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
*the E.W.E. CHAMPION GILDA comes out, her mouth almost free of bandages doe to that terrible accident, and is picked up by GARBLE and put on his broad shoulders*
<E.W.E. CHAMPION GILDA>HELLO EVERYPONY ..... it's as if I've never been away isn't it *holds up the E.W.E. championship belt high* and I am STILL THE CHAMP IDIOTS HAHAHA!!!
<QUEEN OF QUEENS AITSELEC SSECNIRP>isn't this wonderful everypony, your champion is getting better by the day *belches* and soon enough will defend the title against some chump who wins the pony rumble, then it'll be back to normal and we'll continue to rub it in all your faces POW RIGHT IN THE KISSER!!!
<E.W.E. CHAMPION GILDA>oh my queen and mentor, it's been far too long since I could open my mouth and speak the TRUTH about the FANforums, and to rubbish all my opponents and kick sand in their faces too ..... maybe in that BEACH EPISODE everyone keeps yapping on about!
<QUEEN OF QUEENS AITSELEC SSECNIRP>so my greatest of champions, what are your plans for the year?
<E.W.E. CHAMPION GILDA>well my beautiful and ..... bountiful queen ..... my plans are simple .....
TO MAKE EVERYONE'S YEAR A LIVING HELL
HAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahaaaaaaaa
by being the GREATEST EVER CHAMPION OF EQUESTRIA!
by BEING THE BESTEST NON PONY THERE EVER WAS
by BEING SUCH A PONYRITARIAN TO ALL MY LITTLE FOAL AND FILLY FANS
and TO KICK THE PLOT OF WHOEVER IS STUPID ENOUGH TO WIN THE PONY ROYAL RUMBLE!!!
*audience applauds most heartily*
<QUEEN OF QUEENS AITSELEC SSECNIRP>and now another very special surprise for you all, and back for their reformation after all that nonsense beforehand .....
*somewhere a drum roll is played*
<KAZZOIE KUTTER>WE'RE THE 3PONYBAAAAAAAAAAAAND ..... we are back baby and better than before ..... with exactly the same guys!
<CONCERTO PLAYA>we sorted out our problems and decided that the best thing was to come back and be together, for the betterment of ponykind, and be the pests we truly can be!
<HARPOLICOUS RIO>also for a plotful of bits too!
<KAZZOIE KUTTER>yes there is that, but in reality we knew our hearts and hooves were in DeGenerationPony and fighting for them and not ourselves. so in celebration of our return, here is a brand new song specially written for your planet sized queenie ..... a one, a two, and three .....
*commercial break*
<KAZZOIE KUTTER>AND WE'RE THE 3PONY BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!!!!!
*ten minute harp solo by HARPOLICOUS RIO to finish the song*
<QUEEN OF QUEENS AITSELEC SSECNIRP>WOO HOO MORE MORE *blows kisses*
*the crowd are going wild, jumping up and down and throwing their knickers at the band*
<QUEEN OF QUEENS AITSELEC SSECNIRP>wasn't that wonderful children, and so good that they got back together to fight the good fight ..... but then they said buck it give us the bits and we'll beat up anyone you want us too!!!
*the 3PONYBAND bows to QUEEN OF QUEENS AITSELEC SSECNIRP*
<QUEEN OF QUEENS AITSELEC SSECNIRP>but as always, the fun has to stop, so let's now stop and think about all those ..... those we have lost this year ..... TO US!!!!!
*sad sombre music plays*
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}}
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}
{Spoiler}{Spoiler}
<QUEEN OF QUEENS AITSELEC SSECNIRP>my *wipes pretend tear from her eye* that was terribly sad to see, all those who are no longer here *burp* I wonder what happened to them all .....
*suddenly and without the electricity being cut off, the lights go out ..... then it goes GREEN!*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA IT IS I .....
<THE MANE-IAC>THE CRAZY ONE ..... THE CRAZY MANED ONE ..... THE CRAZY MANED ONE WHO AIN'T STUCK IN THAT COMIC BOOK ANYMORE!!!
*somewhere, spike looks on sheepishly*
<THE MANE-IAC>and I am here to give you all a warning, for one will return and wreck almighty havoc on the pony world once again, and this time there will be NO stupidity ..... NO idiocy ..... and NO REMORSE!!!
and it will be all for you, the QUEEN OF QUEENS and DeGenerationPony, because when SHE comes back at the pony royale rumble ..... it will be LIGHTS OUT for the stupid pony that she has decided to smack her hooves onto their stupid face!!!
THE COUNTDOWN ..... TO THE REAL MANED ONE ..... IS ON BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
*and with that, the MANE-IAC disappears and the lights come back out*
<QUEEN OF QUEENS AITSELEC SSECNIRP>why, what a conundrum that is, who could THE MANE-IAC be possibe talking about *KNOWING WINK*
<KING OF THE PONYS BAD NEWZ BLUEBLOOD>and whoever it is, it can only mean one thing ..... it will be BAAAAAAD NEEEEEEWZ for the poor trotter who they cross paths with, then kick down the path haha!
but before all that goes down, let me introduce to our beautiful queen, some more hangers on to DeGenerationPony that no one likes ..... OR ACCEPT!!!
<THE BEAUTIFUL PONYS ROSELUCK>because like a rose, i am beautiful, wonderfully scented, and can give you a right nip with my barbs!
<THE BEAUTIFUL PONYS SPARKLER69er>and there's me, ponyvilles greatest ever sorter-outer, before that do-gooder came and knackered it all up for me I WAS THE GREATEST ORGANISER IN PONYVILLE TWILIGHT I DID ALL THAT CARD SHUFFLING AND FORM FILLING AND I DID IT BETTER THAN YOU EVER DID!!! and without any of these sick inducing songs too!!!
<KING OF THE PONYS BAD NEWZ BLUEBLOOD>and that's why in 2016, DeGenerationPony will be BAD NEWZ for everypony, as we regain and retain our powah ..... and all you simple folk at the FAN forums can sit on your bottoms and applause THE GREATEST PONY GROUP EVER IN THE HISTORY OF HISTORY!!!
<QUEEN OF QUEENS AITSELEC SSECNIRP>thank you my loyal subjects, and may this new year bring you *farts* all the wins and beatings that our opponents fully and justly deserve!
and now my beautiful and loyal subjects ..... THE MANE EVENT OF THE NIGHT ..... ms raven, please bring out my FOUR HUNDRED PAGE NEW YEARS SPEECH!
<THE QUEENS PERSONAL ASSISTANT RAVEN>you mean the FOUR HUNDRED PAGE NEW YEARS SPEECH that has the half spacing and the 6 font size?
<QUEEN OF QUEENS AITSELEC SSECNIRP>yes the FOUR HUNDRED PAGE NEW YEARS SPEECH that has the half spacing and the 6 font size?
<THE QUEENS PERSONAL ASSISTANT RAVEN>you mean the FOUR HUNDRED PAGE NEW YEARS SPEECH that has the half spacing and the 6 font size and has no headers or footers?
<QUEEN OF QUEENS AITSELEC SSECNIRP>yes the FOUR HUNDRED PAGE NEW YEARS SPEECH that has the half spacing and the 6 font size and has no headers or footers?
<THE QUEENS PERSONAL ASSISTANT RAVEN>and you mean the FOUR HUNDRED PAGE NEW YEARS SPEECH that has the half spacing and the 6 font size and has no headers or footers tied up with string?
<QUEEN OF QUEENS AITSELEC SSECNIRP>YES ..... THE FOUR HUNDRED PAGE NEW YEARS SPEECH that has the half spacing and the 6 font size and has no headers or footers tied up with string?
<THE QUEENS PERSONAL ASSISTANT RAVEN>I burnt it!
<QUEEN OF QUEENS AITSELEC SSECNIRP>YOU WHAT???
<THE QUEENS PERSONAL ASSISTANT RAVEN>don't be daft your highestness, I'm not THAT big of a idiot!
<O&C SECURITY NYXXY GUNN>*points at QUEEN OF QUEENS AITSELEC SSECNIRP* HA ..... BIG!
<THE QUEENS PERSONAL ASSISTANT RAVEN>get the flipping speech you bumbling idiots!
*O&C SECURITY go backstage and slowly drag the trolley with the FOUR HUNDRED PAGE NEW YEARS SPEECH that has the half spacing and the 6 font size and has no headers or footers tied up with string*
<QUEEN OF QUEENS AITSELEC SSECNIRP>ahh, there we are, my FOUR HUNDRED PAGE NEW YEARS SPEECH that has the half spacing and the 6 font size and has no headers or footers tied up with string ..... now then I hope your all sitting comfortably 'cos it's gonna be a loooooooooooong read, so let me begin ..... PAGE ONE .....
*clears throat, belches, then eats some more cake*
<QUEEN OF QUEENS AITSELEC SSECNIRP>MY .....
<DOCTOR HORSE>STOP THE EVENT! I HAVE SOME UNBELIEVABLE NEWS FOR EVERYPONY!!!
<QUEEN OF QUEENS AITSELEC SSECNIRP>SON OF A FLANK!
<DOCTOR HORSE>I have in my hand ..... your majestic majesticness ..... in my hand, absolutely GREAT news for everypony and DeGenerationPony!
<QUEEN OF QUEENS AITSELEC SSECNIRP>you mean .....
<DOCTOR HORSE>YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A EGG!!!!!
<QUEEN OF QUEENS AITSELEC SSECNIRP>for breakfast 'cos I'm really hungry
<DOCTOR HORSE>no silly ..... you're gonna squat out a massive big ol' EGG ..... a completely different one that Mr Jenzie posted about that few months ago and has NOTHING TO DO with this storyline whatsoever!
<THE QUEENS PERSONAL ASSISTANT RAVEN>AHA, THAT'S why you've been stuffing your face all this time!
<NURSE REDHEART>and we've worked out when you're going to plop it out ..... THE 2016 PONY ROYALE RUMBLE!!!
<EVERYPONY>HUZZAH!
<O&C SECURITY NYXXY GUNN>is there going to be bacon?
<QUEEN OF QUEENS AITSELEC SSECNIRP>does that mean I can read my FOUR HUNDRED PAGE NEW YEARS SPEECH that has the half spacing and the 6 font size and has no headers or footers tied up with string?
<JANITOR>nope, your meter has run out ..... GET OUT, we have creepy horse puppets to show in a few minutes!
*TO BE CONTINUED*