My upstairs neighbours are having very loud sex

[SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman]

Pretty sure she's faking it.

[Brandon Walsh is Insane.]

Are you playing Super Mario?

[xCompackx]

If you hear people having sex, is it like smoking where you get second-hand sex?

[The Unconquered Sun]

Did... Did you ask if you could join them?

[Sephiroth]

Broomstick on the ceiling time

[SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman]

Feb 6, 2017 17:18:33 GMT -5 Brandon Walsh is Insane. said:

Are you playing Super Mario?

Nah. FFVIII. Again. I have a problem.

But hey, that game has one of the few romance stories I give a shit about and does mention porn several times so... it's at least somewhat appropriate, I guess?

[bootytea]

I had a roommate who would bring these loud girls while playing Drake in the background, I'll always hate the first two minutes of that album.

My suggestion would be to go upstairs and bang on their door. Awkwardness like that will make them think twice.

[GuyOfOwnage]

I have plenty of experiences with this, unfortunately. The most memorable one (and I reallllly hope I don't break any board rules by telling this story, so I'll tread carefully) happened when my wife and I were staying out of town in a motel. All of a sudden, we hear what sounds like a suction/gagging sound in the room next to us, and I'm pretty sure I don't have to explain that any further what was going on. But I've never heard someone take so long to provide that specific kind of, um, gratification, to someone. I'm not sure if she was just really bad at it or he was having issues, but either way, this whole thing lasted like 45 minutes, with my wife and I pressing our ears against the wall, giggling like teenagers. And for the coup de grace (or in this case, coup dis grace), we heard this woman say, in the most ghetto voice possible, "You Superman" before going into the bathroom and loudly complaining "It's all over my face!" That's where we just lost it and started laughing uncontrollably, hoping they didn't hear us. The two of them left immediately after the fact, and a quick glance out the window revealed what we'd suspected all along - stiletto'd hooker boots. This wasn't an hourly motel either, so this guy had literally paid for an entire night, plus whatever she was charging him, for whatever the hell that was that we heard.

[Push R Truth]

sorry bro almost done

[bob]

[Andy Martin]

Feb 6, 2017 17:17:13 GMT -5 SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman said:

Pretty sure she's faking it.

They usually are.

[Deleted]

Feb 6, 2017 17:19:49 GMT -5 xCompackx said:

If you hear people having sex, is it like smoking where you get second-hand sex?

Nah, you have to use your first hand.

[Fundertaker]

Pretty sure some neighbors complained about it last night around my parts as well due to bed squeakiness

[Kevin Hamilton]

I can't throw stones, I've been a part of the pair of loud neighbors on more than one occasion.

[Deleted]

I had neighbors that did that often. That in itself wouldn't have bothered me, but they were just loud assholes in general. They were people in a small apartment with thin walls creating the noise level of a stand alone house in the boonies.

[xCompackx]

Feb 6, 2017 17:48:33 GMT -5 GuyOfOwnage said:

I have plenty of experiences with this, unfortunately. The most memorable one (and I reallllly hope I don't break any board rules by telling this story, so I'll tread carefully) happened when my wife and I were staying out of town in a motel. All of a sudden, we hear what sounds like a suction/gagging sound in the room next to us, and I'm pretty sure I don't have to explain that any further what was going on. But I've never heard someone take so long to provide that specific kind of, um, gratification, to someone. I'm not sure if she was just really bad at it or he was having issues, but either way, this whole thing lasted like 45 minutes, with my wife and I pressing our ears against the wall, giggling like teenagers. And for the coup de grace (or is in this, coup dis grace), we heard this woman say, in the most ghetto voice possible, "You Superman" before going into the bathroom and loudly complaining "It's all over my face!" That's where we just lost it and started laughing uncontrollably, hoping they didn't hear us. The two of them left immediately after the fact, and a quick glance out the window revealed what we'd suspected all along - stiletto'd hooker boots. This wasn't an hourly motel either, so this guy had literally paid for an entire night, plus whatever she was charging him, for whatever the hell that was that we heard.

This is the best story ever.

[Citizen Snips]

[OldDirtyBernie]

The last time this happened to me it was at a band practice. Our "manager" and his girlfriend quietly left to go to a bedroom in the drummer's house and fornicate...loudly.
When we heard what was happening, we all grabbed a beer and a lawn chair, entered the room, and we watched.
He was not pleased.

[SHAKEMASTER TV9 is Don Knotts]

I'll have what she's having.

[agent817]

Suddenly I am having some flashbacks from seeing Fight Club.