probably not, but let's continue shall we .....
{Spoiler}
MEANWHILE DEEP IN THE BOWELS OF CANTERLOT .....
<PRINCESS CELESTIA>HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE DIRECTORS COMMENTARY FOR THE DVD RELEASE OF THE TITLE SEQUENCE TO PONYMANIA6, WITH ME IS MY GORGEOUS LITTLE SISTER AND FELLOW PARTNER-IN-CRIME PRINCESS LUNA .....
<PRINCESS LUNA>WELCOME THOU TO THIS DRY AND FRUITLESS MONOLOGUE!
<PRINCESS CELESTIA>HEHE YES THANK YOU DEAR, AND ON MY RIGHT IS MY BEAUTIFUL ADOPTED NIECE, THE ALWAYS LOVELY PRINCESS MI AMORE CADENZE.
<PRINCES MI AMORE CADENZA>ALWAYS A PLEASURE, AND VERY NICE TO GET OUT THE HOUSE AND SIT IN A CRAMP CUBICLE WITH A CRYING AND SQUEALING BABY TO TALK SOME.
<PRINCESS CELESTIA>I LOVE YOU TOO, AND HERE'S THE VERY NATURE OF A OVEREXPOSED STAR OF THE SHOW, THE VERY ESSENCE OF SOMEPONY THAT IS ONSCREEN FAR TOO OFTEN .....
<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT I GET IT *GRINS*
<PRINCESS CELESTIA>AND LAST AND CERTAINLY NOT LEAST .....
<BABY FLURRY HEART>*SNEEZES UNBELIEVABLY CUTELY, BLOWS UP TRAINEE SOUND ENGINEER, THEN DRIBBLES*
<PRINCESS CELESTIA>AWW SO DELIGHTFUL.
<PRINCES MI AMORE CADENZA>TRY GETTING IT TO SLEEP SOMETIME!
<PRINCESS CELESTIA>SO WE ARE ALL HERE TO RECORD THIS VERY COMMENTARY FOR THE TITLE SEQUENCE THEN.
<PRINCESS LUNA>AHA, SO THE ORIGINAL IDEA WAS TO HAVE THIS BIG FLIPPING EXPLOSION WHERE ALL THE WONDERBOLTS CAME OUT OF THE SMOKE, FIREWORKS ALL AROUND, AND THE PONYMANIA6 LOGO COMES FLYING OUT ..... AND ALL IN EYE-WATERING 3D! WE EVEN SIGNED A MASSIVELY POPULAR AND VERY EXPENSIVE DIRECTOR TO DIRECT .....
<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>SENOR SPIELBERGO!
<PRINCESS LUNA>YEAH, WE WANTED A LOAD OF QUALITY, INSTEAD WE GOT A LOAD OF .....
<PRINCESS CELESTIA>OKAY, HE WASN'T VERY EXPENSIVE, BUT HE DID GET THE JOB DONE!
.....
MEANWHILE IN A BRIGHTLY COLOURED AND THICKLY OUTLINED CARTOON TITLE SEQUENCE .....
*THE CAMERA SWOOPS DOWN AND PAST SOME PARASPRITES BEING BEATEN UP BY PINKIE PIE ..... YES UP IN THE SKY!*
<THE PONYTONES>AHH THE CANTERLOT SISTERS .....
*THE CAMERA CONTINUES AND THROUGH THE 'S' THAT STARTS 'SISTERS', AND BREAKS IT, THE COST ..... TREE FIDDY ....."
<PRINCESS CELESTIA>NOW YOU KNOW PINKIE, THAT WACKY PUFF PASTRY, SHE SPENT AN AWFUL LONG TIME TRAINING THOSE PARASPRITES FOR THE STUNTS IN THAT SHOT.
*THE CAMERA SWOOPS DOWN AND THROUGH THE TOWN OF PONYVILLE, PASSING SEVERAL FAIRLY WELL KNOW CHARACTERS, WHO ARE STILL WAITING FOR THEIR ROYALTY CHEQUES ..... AND STRAIGHT INTO A WELL KNOW PRINCESSES FANCY NEW LIBARY ..... I MEAN LIBRARY, STUPID HOMR!*
<PRINCESS CELESTIA>AHH, THIS WAS OUR FIRST SHOT, A NICE AND EASY ONE TO START WITH. AND OUR CAMERAPONY WAS ONLY TOO HAPPY TO DO IT, FOR A THIRD OF THE RATE ..... EVEN WITH ALL THOSE FANCY CAMERA MOVES AND WHAT NOT.
<ZEPHYR BREEZE>SUCH A DELIGHT WORKING FOR YOU ALL, AND BEING ABLE TO PRACTICE FOR MY NEXT PROJECT ..... EROTIC PONY ART VIDEOS!
<PRINCES MI AMORE CADENZA>*SIGHS* YEAH WELL, STOP SENDING ME INVITES!
<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>HEY HEY, THERE'S MY VERY GOOD FRIENDS DOWN THERE *WAVES AT THEM* OVER-OVER HERE VERY GOOD FRIENDS!
<PRINCESS LUNA>WHY ARE YOU WAIVING AT THE DIRECTOR!
<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>HEHE, SORRY. AHH, MY FIRST EVER STARRING ROLE ALMOST 40 YEARS AGO, AND I WAS SO NERVOUS I BINGED ON HAYBURGERS ALL DAY! FIRST TRY I WROTE 'SMELLY KAT RULZ', BUT THAT WAS NOI'D FOR SOMETHING FAR LESS CLEVER .....
*THE CAMERA FOCUSES ON A FILLY TWILIGHT, EVERYONE AND I MEAN EVERYONE GOES D'AW, SICKENING REALLY*
<FILLY TWILIGHT>I'M A BIG MARE NOW!
<DIRECTOR>DAMMIT KID, JUST WRITE THE *BEEP* WORD!
<FILLY TWILIGHT>THE FIRST ONE?
<DIRECTOR>NO NOT THE *BEEP* FIRST ONE! THAT'S ALREADY *BEEP* DOWN! WRITE THE *BEEP* WORD YOU WERE READING!!! WE'VE GOT THE *BEEP* FIRST ONE! WE HAVE THE *BEEP* FIRST ONE! *KICKS A CAN THAT'S THERE FOR SOME REASON*
<FILLY TWILIGHT>SO I .....
<DIRECTOR>WRITE THE *BEEP* WORD YOU WERE *BEEP* WRITING! THE THING YOU WERE JUST DOING! WRITE THE *BEEP* WORD!!!
*THE DIRECTOR WHO IS SLIGHTLY PEEVED, EVER SO GENTLY THROWS THE CLAPPERBOARD AT AN ASSISTANT, WHO EXCLAIMS IN THAT BRILLIANTLY FUNNY AND EVER SO HILARIOUS WILHELM SCREAM THAT NO ONE ELSE USES EVER*
<FILLY TWILIGHT>AH GOT IT NOW .....
*AND FILLY TWILIGHT WRITES 'IT DOESN'T MEAN I AM A SMARTY PANTS' ON THE CHALKBOARD, AND NO ONE GET'S SUED*
<DIRECTOR>THANK CELESTIA ..... KEEP ROLLING .....
<FILLY TWILIGHT>I'M KAKA FOR COCO POMMEL!!!
<DIRECTOR>NO DAMMIT!!! TAKE TWENTY SIX .....
*THE CAMERA THEN FLIES UP, THROUGH SOME CARDBOARD CLOUDS ..... TOLD YOU, STUPID NON-UNION MEXICANTERLOT EQUIVALENT ..... AND UP INTO CLOUDSDALE*
<PRINCESS CELESTIA>NOW SINCE ZEPHYR BREEZE WANTED TO CONTINUE HIS *COUGH* OTHER ACTIVITIES, SO WE FIRED HER AND HAD TO GET SOMEPONY ELSE TO HANDLE THE SHOTS, AND WE THOUGHT WHO'D BE BEST TO SHOOT CLOUDSDALE ..... WHO I TELL YOU .....
<CHERRY JUBILEE>*PEEKS IN* WHO!
<FLITTER>*PEEKS IN* WHO!!
<"THE REAL MANED" FLEUR DEE LIS>*PEEKS IN* WHO!!
<OWLOWLISCIOUS>*PEEKS IN* WHO WHO WHO WHO WHO WHO!!!!!!
<PRINCESS LUNA>SOD IT, WE JUST GOT RAINBOW DASH .....
<RAINBOW DASH>WELL OBVIOUSLY THEY ASKED ME, SINCE I AM THE BEST FLYER IN CLOUDSDALE, AND BOY DID I DO TRICKS WITH THAT CAMERA THE LIKES OF WHICH NOPONY SAW BEFORE AND NOPONY'S SEEN SINCE!
<PRINCESS LUNA>YOU MEAN YOU FLEW IN A SUPER STRAIGHT LINE?
<RAINBOW DASH>YEAH HAHA *BLUSHES* WELL THE DIRECTOR TOLD ME NOT TO BE TOO FLASHY.
*THE CAMERA THEN ZOOMS DOWN TO A RAILROAD TRACK, WHERE THE CRYSTAL EMPIRE TRAIN SERVICE FLASHES BY AT ABOUT ELEVENTY BILLION MPH, SO SLOWER THAN USUAL THEN ..... AND ONTO THE ACTUAL CRYSTAL EMPIRE!*
<PRINCES MI AMORE CADENZA>THAT TRAIN REALLY IS BRILLIANT ISN'T IT, SO FAST AND LUXURIOUS, COST A BLOODY FORTUNE. ALL JAPANESE TECHNOLOGY YOU KNOW, AND SOME FANTASTIC DIRECTING BY A ..... *READS NOTES* ..... AH YEAH, A MISTER ARBMOS .....
<MISTER ARBMOS>WELL, AHEM, TO FILM SUCH A GLITTERY AND SHINY AND TASTY EMPIRE WAS ALWAYS GONNA BE AN EASY JOB TO DO, ALL STATIC SHOTS OF DESPERATE CRYSTAL PONYS ALL WANTING SOME STUPID THING LIKE 'FREEDOM' AND 'RESPECT' AND 'PLEASE MISTER ARMBOS PLEASE DON'T EAT US' BLAHBLABLAH. BAH THEY GOT WHAT THEY WANTED AS IN NONE OF THAT ..... GAWD JUST THINKING ABOUT ALL THOSE TASTY AND LICKABLE CRYSTAL PONYS, JUST MAKES ME SO ..... HUNGRY ..... HUNGRY AND VERY VERY TETCHY .....
*THE CAMERA NEXT AND FOR NO LOGICAL REASON ENDS UP IN THE EVERFREE FOREST, THAT'S THE DIRECTOR FOR YA, WHO'S JUST BEEN FIRED!*
<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>NOW THIS WAS MY CHANCE TO BE THE DIRECTOR, AND OH BOY DID I JUMP AT IT, SO MANY DIFFERENT CREATURES TO FILM ..... LIKE LIONS AND TIGERS AND BEARS AND GIRAFFES AND TADPOLES AND AARDVARKS AND TREES ..... I LAUGHED AT THE TREES, LAUGHED A LOT ..... ALSO THERE'S FLUTTERSHY!
<FLUTTERSHY>*JUMPS AT A LEAF SMASHING INTO THE GROUND* OH HI-HI TWILIGHT, DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE, OH OF COURSE IT WAS A DELIGHT TO HELP THE PRINCESS OF FRIENDSHIP. YOU DON'T KNOW HOW DIFFICULT IS TO WRANGLE ALL THESE EVERFREE ANIMALS. SOME WERE PERFECTLY FINE, OTHERS NOT SO MUCH *GIGGLES* *DEATH STARES AT ANGEL*
<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>AND THEN WE FILMED IN THAT STRANGE CAVE, WHERE A RATHER ODD LOOKING SWIMMING POOL WAS, SO YOU KNOW, I INVITED THE CREW IN FOR A CELEBRATORY DIP .....
<THE CREW>*BANGING ON THE MIRROR POOL* HELP GET US OUT OF HERE YOU FLIPPING PARROT!!!
*THE CAMERA SWEEPS THROUGH AND OUT THE OTHER SIDE, AND SCREAMS THROUGH THE SKY PAST A DERPY HOOVES GETTING A COMEDY ELECTROCUTION ON A STORM CLOUD. UNFORTUNATELY TWILIGHT GOT FIRED, AND WE GOT SOME LESSER KNOWN AND CONSIDERABLY CHEAPER PEGASUS TO DO IT*
<DERPY HOOVES>I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT WENT WRONG ..... AS IN HOW I GOT THIS WHOLE GIG, I'M REALLY A HIGHLY RESPECTED PONY ACTOR WHO'S BEEN IN SOME REAL QUALITY MOVIES, ONE ABOUT A REALLY FAMOUS HORSE SCIENTIST. WHO'S UNFORTUNATE CONDITION GETS HER INTO ALL SORTS OF SCRAPES AND LARFS, I WON AWARDS FOR THAT PERFORMANCE, THEN THE PORN BAMBI CAME ALONG WELL I THOUGHT THIS IS WHERE I GET SOMETHING BACK! IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR THE CHANCE TO STAR IN MY LITTLE PONY AND START A NEW LIFE, I'D BE GIVING EXECUTIVE RELIEF TO WOODLAND CREATURES TO THIS VERY DAY .....
<DITZY DOO>SO I ALL COMES OUT NOW MOTHER, I KNEW IT, YOU TOLD ME I WAS THE FILLY OF A RICH PONY. NOW I FIND OUT I'M THE RESULT OF A ONE NIGHT STAND BETWEEN YOU AND A ******* DIAMOND DOG!!! *CRIES LIKE A LITTLE CHILD, RUNS OFF AND SLAMS BEDROOM DOOR BLARING OUT LOUD OBNOXIOUS TWEEN MUSIC LIKE TAYLOR SWIFTY OR JUSTIN BIEARBER OR OTHER CRAP LIKE THAT*
<PRINCESS CELESTIA>.....
<BABY FLURRY HEART>*DOES SOMETHING UNBELIEVABLY CUTE AND BLOWS A MASSIVE HOLE IN THE SIDE OF THE CUBICLE*
<PRINCESS LUNA>AWWZ, THAT'S SO DELIGHTFUL *CUDDLES BABY FLURRY HEART*
<PRINCES MI AMORE CADENZA>TRY CHANGING IT ONCE, OH *DRY HEAVES* IT'S LIKE LIQUID GAK!
<PRINCESS LUNA>I'VE SEEN THE PICTURES ON PRINCESSNET ..... WHYYYYYYYY .....
*THE LESSER PEGASUS DIRECTOR GET'S FIRED AND THE CAMERA GOES INTO HYPERSPACE AS A FUNCTIONING BRIDGE BETWEEN SHOTS, PASSING A SURPRISED CREW OF AN INCREDIBLY FAMOUS SPACESHIP ..... FROM ANOTHER FRANCHISE OF COURSE, CAN'T NAME NAMES HERE, AND BLASTS OUT OF MOS EISLEY AND TO THE GREAT CITY OF CANTERLOT*
<PRINCESS LUNA>WE HAD A LOVELY SETUP FOR ONE OF THE ORIGINAL DESIGNS FOR THE MAIN TOWER, AS THE CAMERA FLIES BY, TOTALLY WIPES IT OUT ..... 'COS .....
<J.J. TOMBRAHMS>I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, HOW CAN I BRING THE OLD FRANCHISE RIGHT BANG INTO THE 21ST CENTURY ..... IS THAT THE DATE WE'RE USING ..... OKAY THEN. SO I TOOK ALL THOSE OLD DRAWINGS THAT WAS *AHEM* CAREFULLY REJECTED, AND BUILT THE TOWER TO THAT SPECIFICATION. AND THEN WE ROCK REKT IT BIG TIME!
<PRINCESS CELESTIA>AHH MY FAVOURITE SHOTS, ALL DONE IN LOVELY WIDESCREEN, AND LOOK THERE'S MY WINDOW RIGHT THERE ..... RIGHT THERE JUST PASSING VERY QUICK ..... THAT'S, WAIT, WASN'T THAT FILMED .....
*AS THE CAMERA PANS PAST WINDOW, WE SEE A CERTAIN ALICORN GRIPPING VERY TIGHTLY WHAT APPEARS TO BE SOME SORT OF MASSIVE FLUFFY BODY PILLOW, AND THERE'S A PICTURE OF .....*
<SCRATCHY AUDIO>OH TWILY, LET ME BE YOUR LITTLE LOVEY BUNDLE TONIGHT *SMOOCHES PILLOW*
<PRINCESS CELESTIA>OH-OH, NEVER MIND, THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN ..... DIDN'T HAPPEN AT ALL. I MEAN OF COURSE I WOULDN'T TOO YOU ..... LET'S JUST SAY THAT .....
<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>AHH JEEZ *BLUSHES BRIGHTER THAN THE SUN, AND SINKS LOWER INTO HER SEAT, COVERING HERSELF IN HER WINGS*
<PRINCESS CELESTIA>I'M GONNA ZAP THAT FLIPPING ANIMATOR, THAT'S ALL ANIMATION, AND NOT REAL GOT IT ..... DIDN'T HAPPEN .....
<BABY FLURRY HEART>*SUDDENLY SITS UP STRAIGHT* DADDY LIKES TO GO OUT AT NIGHT AND VISIT THE LOCAL SPECIAL MARES CLUB! *BURPS, AND DESTROYS THE ENTIRE STUDIO, LEAVING EVERYONE BLACKENED WITH DESTRUCTION IN CARTOOISH STYLE*
<PRINCESS LUNA>AWWZ, SHE IS SOOOOOOOO ADORABLE.
<PRINCES MI AMORE CADENZA>*CRIES* MY MARRIAGE IS A COMPLETE SHAM!!!
*FINALLY THE CAMERA SETTLES ON THE HOST CITY OF APPLELOOSA, THE SITE FOR PONYMANIA6, AND THE PONYMANIA6 LOGO APPEARS IN DAZZLING AND INCREDIBLY EXPENSIVE CGI*
<PRINCESS CELESTIA>*COMPOSES HERSELF* NOW THEN, THIS IS WHERE THE REAL GOOD STUFF HAPPENS, AND WE FIRED THAT IDIOT DIRECTOR AND DID IT MYSELF. NO EXPENSE SPARED I MIGHT ADD *EATS SOME JELLY* MMM THAT'S SOME GOOD JELLY, AHH, SO ALL THIS IS COMPUTER CONTROLLED AND SOME OTHER TECHNICAL STUFF I CANNOT FATHOM TO UNDERSTAND, SO HERE'S A BRAINIAC TO EXPLAIN IT ALL TO YOU.
<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>I .....
<PRINCESS CELESTIA>OH HERE'S THE COUCH GAG WE FINALLY SETTLED ON, WE DID SOOOOOO MANY TAKES FOR THIS, A WHOLE THREE WEEKS OF UNNECESSARY RESHOOTS AND MULTIPLE TAKES ON THE SAME FLIPPING THING.
<PRINCESS LUNA>I WANTED TO SLAP THAT DIRECTOR SO BADLY, SUCH A PERFECTIONIST!
<RARITY>WELL YOU CAN'T RUSH PERFECTION AFTER ALL MY DEAR, I HAD A PERFECT PLAN TO DO IT, AND I DID ..... WITH GENEROUS HELPAGE FROM MY DEAR FRIEND APPLEJACK ..... SERIOUSLY SHE CAN'T SHUT UP ABOUT WORKING WITH ME, ALL THE TIME SHE'S FAWNING OVER ME AND ASKING QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT ANGLE THE CAMERA SHOULD BE AND WHICH HEIGHT THE SOUND BOOM IS. EVEN GOING SO FAR AS TO HELP CARRY ALL THAT HEAVY EQUIPMENT FOR US ALL, QUITE A FEAT GIVEN HOW MUCH THERE WAS OF IT!
<APPLEJACK ... AND TOTALLY NOT BIG MAC WEARING A HORRIFIC DAYGLO BLONDE WIG AND A CRAYON DRAWING OF APPLEJACKS CUTIE MARK TAPED TO HIS ARSE>ERM ..... YEP!
*MANY MANY SHOTS OF THE PRINCESSES DOING THE MANY MANY MANY TAKES OF THE COUCH GAG ..... FOR TWO DAYS!!! (ACTUAL RUNNING TIME)*
<RARITY>THE ONE I FINALLY DECIDED ON WAS A LOVELY HOMAGE TO A CERTAIN CARTOON SERIES THAT'S GOT WORLDWIDE ACCLAIM AND TREMENDOUS AMOUNTS OF AWARDS FOR ..... THAT'S RIGHT ..... SPACEBALLS THE ANIMATED SERIES!
<PRINCESS LUNA>AND YOU CAN'T IMAGINE THE TIME I TOOK TO SCOOP ALL THAT RASPBERRY JAM OUT OF MY EAR!
*THE SCENE PLAYS OUT AND EVERYPONY LAUGHS, CRIES (BATH TUB NOT AVAILABLE), DOES CALCULUS, LAMENTS WHY SHE MARRIED A COMPLETE IDIOT, AND BELCH*
<PRINCESS CELESTIA>UNFORTUNATELY THAT'S ALL WE GOT TIME FOR IN THIS COMMENTARY, SO I'D LIKE TO THANK MY FELLOW PRINCESSES FOR COMING DOWN HERE TODAY, SO IN ACCORDANCE TO PONY DIRECTIVE 657618945418646387868694138/B (WHERE PRINCESS CELESTIA DOES A DVD COMMENTARY HAS TO BY LAW, NAME AND SHAME EVERYONE IN EQUESTRIA, THAT SHOULD COVER THE LAST NINE HOURS OF TIME LEFT)
*SPIKE COMES IN WITH A GIGANTIC OVERSIZED AND VERY EXPENSIVE TUB OF CHEWY GEMS*
<SPIKE>HUH? WHATTYA MEAN YOU'RE FINISHED! *GRUNTS*
*UNFORTUNATELY THE REST OF THE FOOTAGE OF PRINCESS CELESTIA WAS LOST IN TRANSIT, AS WAS THE MASSIVE FLUFFY BODY PILLOW, WHICH WAS ACCIDENTALLY SET ON FIRE BY PONYS UNKNOWN*
