MLP: FiM Thread 433: The Foalsitters Club

[Mr PONYMANIA Mr Jenzie]

well i'm not waiting until you bums posts, so the nightmare continues (woops pressed the wrong button there, that's massive tiredness for ya, i actually fell asleep SITTING IN MY CHAIR earlier, and not my soft comfy seat either)


so we begin the REALLY FUNNY STUFF, and if you read it, you'll see why

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}{Spoiler}
MEANWHILE IN THE JUNGLE, THE MIGHTY JUNGLE, LIONS ARE SOUNDLY SLEEPING TONIGHT ..... EXCEPT ONE .....

<MANTICORE>*ROAR ROAR ROAR ETC* AHAHAHA WHAT AM I, THAT'S CORRECT, I AM THE ACTUAL BONA FIDE KING OF THIS VERY HERE JUNGLE! YOU, YEAH YOU, YOU INSOLENT MOUSE .....

*MANTICORE POINTS AT AN INNOCENT MOUSE*

<MANTICORE>DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?

*MOUSE LOOKS AT MANTICORE AND TWITCHES NOSE*

<MANTICORE>THAT IS CORRECT, IT IS I, THE ACTUAL AND BONA FIDE KING OF THIS HERE JUNGLE ..... AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT! *ROAR*

*MOUSE LOOKS AT MANTICORE LIKE HE'S SEEN AN INTELLIGENT POST ON THE F.A.N. FORUMS*

<MANTICORE>YES I AM THE ACTUAL AND BONA FIDE KING OF THE JUNGLE, AND NO ONE IS BETTER THAN ME AT SAYING THAT. *SWAGGERS AWAY FROM THE MOUSE, WHO JUST LOOKS AT HIM STILL, THEN GET'S EATEN BY A TATZLWURM*

<MANTICORE>I ... AM ..... THE KING. I ... AM ... THE KING. K ... I ... N ... G, K ... I ... N ... G .....

*UNKNOWN TO THE MANTICORE, BEHIND HIM LURKS COCKATRICE, A RIGHT PEST AND FORMER CHAMPION IN SOME OTHER EQUESTRIAN WRESTLING ORGANISATIONS THAT WON'T BE MENTIONED HERE. LIKE SOME COCKY LITTLE GIT HE SLIPS BEHIND MANTICORE AND YANKS ON HIS TAIL!*

<MANTICORE>*SIGHS* LOOK MS FLUTTERSHY, I AM NOT PLAYING 'PICK THE THORN OUT OF MY PAW' ANYMORE, LAST TIME WE GOT DRUNK ON NON ALCOHOLIC APPLE CIDER AND DUMPED YOU ON YOUR PARENTS DOORSTEP, VERY UNCOUTH ..... *MANTICORE TURNS AROUND*

<COCKATRICE>*STARES*

<MANTICORE>WHAT THE MINIATURE COLLECTIBLE!!! *TURNS TO STONE*

.....

MEANWHILE IN THE JUNGLE, THE MIGHTY JUNGLE, LIONS ARE SOUNDLY SLEEPING TONIGHT ..... EXCEPT ONE ..... AGAIN .....

<MANTICORE>*ROAR ROAR ROAR ETC* AHAHAHA WHAT AM I, THAT'S CORRECT, I AM THE ACTUAL BONA FIDE KING OF THIS VERY HERE JUNGLE! YOU, YEAH YOU, YOU INSOLENT FRUIT BAT .....

*MANTICORE POINTS AT AN INNOCENT FRUIT BAT*

<MANTICORE>DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?

*FRUIT BAT LOOKS AT MANTICORE AND FLAPS WINGS A BIT*

<MANTICORE>THAT IS CORRECT, IT IS I, THE ACTUAL AND BONA FIDE KING OF THIS HERE JUNGLE ..... AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT! *ROAR*

*FRUIT BAT LOOKS AT MANTICORE LIKE HE'S SEEN AN INTELLIGENT POST ON THE F.A.N. FORUMS*

<MANTICORE>YES I AM THE ACTUAL AND BONA FIDE KING OF THE JUNGLE, AND NO ONE IS BETTER THAN ME AT SAYING THAT. *SWAGGERS AWAY FROM THE FRUIT BAT, WHO JUST LOOKS AT HIM STILL, THEN GET'S EATEN BY A TATZLWURM*

<MANTICORE>I ... AM ..... THE KING. I ... AM ... THE KING. K ... I ... N ... G, K ... I ... N ... G .....

*UNKNOWN TO THE MANTICORE, BEHIND HIM LURKS COCKATRICE, A RIGHT PEST AND FORMER CHAMPION IN SOME OTHER EQUESTRIAN WRESTLING ORGANISATIONS THAT WON'T BE MENTIONED HERE. LIKE SOME COCKY LITTLE GIT HE SLIPS BEHIND MANTICORE AND FLICKS HIS EAR!*

<MANTICORE>*SIGHS* LOOK MS TRIXIE, I AM NOT PLAYING 'PUT YOU IN MY MOUTH' ANYMORE, LAST TIME WE GOT DRUNK ON NON ALCOHOLIC APPLE CIDER AND SIGNED US UP FOR THE WONDERBOLTS, VERY UNCOUTH ..... *MANTICORE TURNS AROUND*

<COCKATRICE>*STARES*

<MANTICORE>WHAT THE MINIATURE COLLECTIBLE!!! *TURNS TO STONE*

.....

MEANWHILE IN THE JUNGLE, THE MIGHTY JUNGLE, LIONS ARE SOUNDLY SLEEPING TONIGHT ..... EXCEPT ONE ..... FOR THE FINAL TIME .....

<MANTICORE>*ROAR ROAR ROAR ETC* AHAHAHA WHAT AM I, THAT'S CORRECT, I AM THE ACTUAL BONA FIDE KING OF THIS VERY HERE JUNGLE! YOU, YEAH YOU, YOU INSOLENT CRAGADILES .....

*MANTICORE POINTS AT SOME INNOCENT CRAGADILES*

<MANTICORE>DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?

*CRAGADILES LOOKS AT MANTICORE AND LOOK AT EACH OTHER*

<MANTICORE>THAT IS CORRECT, IT IS I, THE ACTUAL AND BONA FIDE KING OF THIS HERE JUNGLE ..... AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT! *ROAR*

*THE CRAGADILES LOOKS AT MANTICORE LIKE THEY'VE SEEN AN INTELLIGENT POST ON THE F.A.N. FORUMS*

<MANTICORE>YES I AM THE ACTUAL AND BONA FIDE KING OF THE JUNGLE, AND NO ONE IS BETTER THAN ME AT SAYING THAT. *SWAGGERS AWAY FROM THE CRAGADILES, WHO JUST LOOKS AT HIM STILL, THEN THEIR EATEN BY A TATZLWURM, EXCEPT ONE WHO'S BEEN VERY SICK*

<MANTICORE>I ... AM ..... THE KING. I ... AM ... THE KING. K ... I ... N ... G, K ... I ... N ... G .....

*UNKNOWN TO THE MANTICORE, BEHIND HIM LURKS COCKATRICE, A RIGHT PEST AND FORMER CHAMPION IN SOME OTHER EQUESTRIAN WRESTLING ORGANISATIONS THAT WON'T BE MENTIONED HERE. LIKE SOME COCKY LITTLE GIT HE SLIPS BEHIND MANTICORE AND SIGNS HIM UP TO THE TWILIGHT SPARKLE BOOK CLUB!*

<MANTICORE>*SIGHS* LOOK MELVIN, I AM NOT PLAYING 'BUILD THE CASTLE FOR THE TWO SISTERS' ANYMORE, LAST TIME WE GOT DRUNK ON NON ALCOHOLIC APPLE CIDER AND ENDED UP HAVING A ROUSING BOUT OF HOOFTICUFFS, VERY UNCOUTH ..... *MANTICORE TURNS AROUND*

<COCKATRICE>*STARES*

<MANTICORE>WHAT THE MINIATURE COLLECTIBLE!!! *TURNS TO STONE*

.....

MEANWHILE AT DOCTOR CABALLERON'S OFFICE, WHO'S NOW A PRACTICING PSYCHIATRIST, FOR THE SAKE OF THE STORY .....

<MANTICORE>SO I KEEP HAVING THESE DREAMS ABOUT BEING TURNED TO STONE, WAKE UP IN THE ACTUAL MIDDLE OF THE JUNGLE, AND HAVE NO IDEA HOW I GOT THERE! PLEASE HELP ME, I'M GOING SLIGHTLY MAD!

<DOCTOR CABALLERON>WELL IT'S VERY SIMPLE TO EXPLAIN ..... *PULLS OFF MASK*

<COCKATRICE>IT WAS ME MANTICORE, IT WAS ME ALL ALONG!

<MANTICORE>WHY YOU .....

<COCKATRICE>*STARES*

<MANTICORE>*TURNS TO STONE*

.....

MEANWHILE AT THE BRAND SPANKING NEW OFFICES OF PRINCESS EMBER, COMMISSIONER OF 7-15-6 EVERFREE .....

<MANTICORE>*SWITCHES ON TELEVISION MONITOR* NOW THEN COMMISSIONER EMBER, THIS IS WHAT I WANT.

*A PICTURE OF MANTICORE*

*A PICTURE OF COOKIE MONSTER*

*A PICTURE OF THE 7-15-6 EVERFREE TITLE BELT*

*A PICTURE OF GARBLE IN A DELIGHTFUL DRESS ..... OH WAIT, WRONG SLIDE ..... A BURNING MATCH*

<COMMISSIONER EMBER>WELL, WE ARE LOOKING FOR OUR FIRST CHAMPION AT PONYMANIA6, SO GET THIS, A MATCH *COMMISSIONER EMBER POINTS TO THE PICTURE OF THE BURNING MATCH* YES THAT ..... WITH YOU .....

<MANTICORE>THE BONA FIDE KING OF THIS HERE JUNGLE!

<COMMISSIONER EMBER>WITH YOU, AND FACING YOU WILL BE .....

*MANTICORE LOOKS ABOUT NERVOUSLY*

<COMMISSIONER EMBER>COCKATRICE!

<MANTICORE>*SUDDENLY THRUSTS HIS PAW UP IN THE AIR* I SHALL VANQUISH THAT INSOLENT LITTLE CHICKEN WITH MY MIGHTY ROAR OF DESTRUCTION *ROARS* THERE, HOW DID THAT FEEL COMMISSIONER?

<COMMISSIONER EMBER>YES VERY GOOD MANTICORE.

<MANTICORE>LEAVE IT TO ME COMMISSIONER, I SHALL RID THE E.W.E. OF THAT NEFARIOUS CLUCKER, AND WIN THAT SHINY PRIZE AT PONYMANIA6 .....

<COMMISSIONER EMBER>YOU'RE ON THE PRE-SHOW .....

<MANTICORE>AT THE START OF PONYMANIA6 ..... YES I ..... RID OF ..... *LEAVES*

.....

MEANWHILE IT'S OUTSIDE AND MANTICORE WAITS FOR A CAB .....

<MANTICORE>THAT MADDENINGLY COCKATRICE, HE'S BOILED MY CRABS FOR FAR TOO LONG, AND I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL THE REAL AND TOTALLY BONA FIDE KING OF THE JUNGLE GETS TO PUNCH THAT UGLY DUCKLING IN THE FACE. HOW DARE HE TURN ME TO STONE TIME AND TIME AGAIN!

*THE CAB ARRIVES AND MANTICORE GETS IN*

<MANTICORE>NOW THEN GOOD SIR, TAKE ME TO TO NEAREST JUNGLE, WHERE I AM THE BONA FIDE KING OF THE JUNGLE!

*THE DRIVER TURNS AROUND*

<MANTICORE>*TURNS TO STONE*

[Nikki Heyman]

Apr 2, 2017 7:25:00 GMT -5 @desertassassin said:

Apr 2, 2017 7:06:54 GMT -5 Alyce: Old Media Enthusiast said:

Best pegasus.

want! I have my Star Hunter plush to go with her 

[Mr PONYMANIA Mr Jenzie]

Apr 2, 2017 11:44:48 GMT -5 Nikki Heyman said:

Apr 2, 2017 7:25:00 GMT -5 @desertassassin said:

Best pegasus.

want! I have my Star Hunter plush to go with her 

OH MY GOD SOMEONE ELSE POSTED

right

if you have the TIME and you're not too BUSY ..... woot .....

the stuff i wrote for your buddy THUNDERLANE'S PONYMANIA6 match set up, is darn good


also i get to kick eunos about a bit too


*works out who that ACTUALLY IS*

oh darn and bubbles it was night glider all along, better hurry up and get ready for the house warming party .....

[Mr PONYMANIA Mr Jenzie]

no time to waste and it's ticking away
so please all rise for the .....

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}{Spoiler}


THE CANTERLOT NATIONAL ANTHEM
(SUNG TO THE TUNE OF THE EAST GERMAN NATIONAL ANTHEM)

HAIL HAIL CANTERLOT
LAND OF FRUITS AND APPLES
LAND WHERE YOU'LL REGRET
IF YOU TRY TO ESCAPE
NO MATTER IF YOU TUNNEL UNDER
OR TAKE A RUNNING JUMP AT THE WALL
FORGET IT, PRINCESS LUNA'S GUARDS WILL SMACK YOU ABOUT THE FACE
IF THE ELECTRIFIED FENCE DOESN'T ZAP YOU FIRST

try a work out where it's from ..... it's an easy one!

[Mr PONYMANIA Mr Jenzie]

and we come to our first *ahem* bona fide match tonight at PONYMANIA
and the kids are alright
OR ARE THEY

probably

enjoy

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}{Spoiler}
MEANWHILE ON A SUNNY DAY AT PONYVILLE SCHOOL, AS SEEN THROUGH THE WINDOW OF THE CLASSROOM .....

<CHEERILEE>NOW THEN CHILDREN, AS PER REQUESTED BY APPLE BLOOM, WE SHOULD COME UP WITH SOMETHING TO MAKE HER BIG SISTER AND FORMER PUPIL APPLEJACK FEEL BETTER ..... AND TO PAY FOR HER ASTRONOMICAL MEDICAL BILLS!

<APPLE BLOOM>*DAYDREAMS* DID I LEAVE THE ZAP APPLE MACHINE ON ..... *SNAPS OUT OF IT* OH OH YEAH MISS CHEERILEE, MY BIG SISTER, AND HER BUSTED LEG ..... YEAH.

<CHEERILEE>SO DOES ANYPONY HAVE ANY GOOD IDEAS FOR THIS, AFTER ALL, IT'S FOR CHARITY.

<BABS SEED>ARE WE AUCTIONING OFF HER LEG THEN, IT'S PRETTY MUCH HANGING OFF AS IT IS? *THE REST OF THE CLASS GIGGLES*

<APPLE BLOOM>AWW COME ON ..... I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON MY SIDE BABS?

<BABS SEED>CAN'T YOU SEE THE FUNNY SIDE BLOOMY?

<APPLE BLOOM>YOU'LL SEE THE FUNNY SIDE OF MY HOOF IN A MINUTE!

<BABS SEED>AHH COME 'ERE YOU. *GIVES APPLE BLOOM A RIGHT GOOD NOOGY*

<CHEERILEE>ANYPONY?

<FETHERWEIGHT>HOW ABOUT A 'BEST PICTURE' COMPETITION?

<CHEERILEE>UNLESS YOU CAN STOP FAFFING ABOUT WITH THE ENVELOPES AND NOT MAKE A COMPLETE MESS OF IT ..... OKAY, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

<SNAILS>HOW ABOUT A 'GUESS YOUR INTELLIGENCE' COMPETITION?

<NOI>MORE LIKE A 'GUESS HOW SLOW' YOU ARE!

<SNAILS>STOP COMPARING ME TO A TRAFFIC SIGN, DO I LOOK .....

.....

YELLOW???

<BABS SEED>*GIVES SNAILS A WET WILLY*

<SNAILS>WHAT ABOUT THIS MISS CHEERILEE ..... AN 'EAT AS MANY CARROTS UNTIL I START TO GLOW IN THE DARK' COMPETITION!!! *GRINS SMUGLY AT NOI*

<CHEERILEE>PERHAPS NOT SNAILS, BUT I LIKE THE 'TEST YOUR INTELLIGENCE' THING SNAILS.

<SNAILS>*BLOWS RASPBERRY AT NOI, WHO GETS COVERED IN RASPBERRY*

<BABS SEED>HOW ABOUT A 'HOW MANY WEDGES CAN YOU TAKE' COMPETITION?

<CHEERILEE>I DON'T THINK SO .....

<PIPSQUEAK> AN 'EATING' COMPETITION?

<TRUFFLE>URGH, FOR THE LAST TIME, I AM BIG BONED!

<PIPSQUEAK>OHOH AN 'EATING CONTEST? AN 'EATING CONTEST'? ..... WHERE I GET EATEN ..... BY PRINCESS LUNA .....

<CHEERILEE>WE REALLY HAVE TO HAVE A TALK PIPSQEAK.

<BABS SEED>OH I KNOW WHAT WE CAN DO ..... *AND EVERYPONY TURNS SLOWLY AND CREEPILY TOWARDS THE E.W.E. FILLIES AND FOALS CHAMPION AND ALL ROUND GOOD EGG (ALLEGEDLY) SILVER SPOON*

<SILVER SPOON>WHAT ..... ARE ..... YOU ..... ALL ..... LOOKING ..... AT ..... EVERYPONY ..... STOP GAWPING AT MY TITLE!

<BABS SEED>OH I'M NOT LOOKING AT THAT ..... YET. BUT THAT!

*BABS SEED POINTS AT SOMETHING UNDERNEATH SILVER SPOON'S DESK, THEN IT BARKS*

<SILVER SPOON>OH WHAT THE SLEEPOVER? AHH IT TOUCHED ME!! OH MY FAUST IT APPEARS TO HAVE FOUR LEGS TOO!!! IMMA GONNA DIE IMMA GONNA DIE!!!!!

*EVERYPONY LOOKS UNDER SILVER SPOON'S DESK AT WHATEVER IS UNDER IT*

<CHEERILEE>WHAT IS IT?

<PIPSQUEAK>IS IT A WALKING CLOCK?

<FETHERWEIGHT>A WALKING CLOCK?

<SNAILS>IS IT A ..... WALKING .....

<BABS SEED>I'D WAGER IT'S SOME VARIETY OF WALKING CLOCK!

<SNAILS>CLOCK?

<CHEERILEE>SO SILVER SPOON, IS IT A WALKING CLOCK?

<APPLE BLOOM>OH FLOPPY DISCS ..... ITS MY DOG ..... WINONA *GROANS*

*WINONA PEEKS OUT FROM UNDER SILVER SPOON, WHO'S RATHER ENJOYING WINONA'S WAVING TAIL*

<APPLE BLOOM>*DEADPAN* YEAH EVERYPONY. LET'S ENJOY MY BIG SISTERS DOG SHALL WE, AND NOT FOCUS ON SOMEPONY WHO'S HAVING TO LUG ABOUT GIANT BUCKETS OF APPLES ALL DAY LONG, AND NOT LOUNGE ABOUT THE PLACE WITH A BIT OF A TWISTED ANKLE .....

*WINONA JUMPS ABOUT, SEES SOME DELICIOUS COOKIES AND GOBBLES THEM UP*

<PIPSQUEAK>STOP GOBBLING MY ASS ..... TOUNDINGLY GOOD COOKIES, YOU DAMN DIRTY DOG!

*WINONA SNEEZES*

<CHEERILEE>OH LOOK CHILDREN, THE DOGGY THINKS IT'S A PERSON.

<NOI>ERM, WHAT'S 'A PERSON' MISS CHEERILEE?

<CHEERILEE>OH, THEY'RE UNDER 'MYTHS AND LEGENDS' IN THE LIBARY .....

<APPLE BLOOM>*YAWNS* HOW VERY EXCITING.

<BABSE SEED>GOT IT! A 'CHILLI EATING' COMPETITION ..... AND WHAT ARE YOUR PARENTS DOING THIS EVENING APPLE BLOOM HEHE?

<APPLE BLOOM>I HATE YOU BABS SEED, A REALLY REALLY HATE YOU.

<NOI>OHH OHH MISS CHEERILEE, I HAVE A BRILLIANT IDEA, AND IT INVOLVES PETS .....

<BABS SEED>MORE LIKE TEACHERS PET LOL.

<NOI>*GLARES AT BABS SEED* SINCE APPLEJACKS FRIENDLY DOG IS HERE, THANK YOU APPLE BLOOM, WHY NOT HAVE A ..... LET'S THINK NOW .....

<BABS SEED>TAKE YOUR TIME NOI.

<NOI>A 'PUT BABS SEED'S HEAD IN THE TOILET' COMPETITION ..... OR MORE ACCURATELY, A 'SIX PET CHALLENGE' COMPETITION! WHERE WE ASK THE WORLD FAMOUS AND LEGENDARY MANE6 TO DONATE THEIR PETS TO EACH OF US, FOR LARKS AND GIGGLES, AND LET'S SEE ..... MAYBE HAVE THE FILLIES AND FOALS TITLE UP FOR GRABS FOR THE PONY WHO CAN PLAY WITH THEIR ADOPTIVE PET THE BEST!

<SILVER SPOON>OH HELLS NAW!

<CHEERILEE>THAT IS A ..... BRILLIANT IDEA THERE NOI, WONDERFUL, SO THAT'S SETTLED THEN.

<SILVER SPOON>HEY, WAIT A MINUTE, DON'T I HAVE A SAY IN ALL THIS?

<CHEERILEE>HA, IT THINKS THIS IS A DEMOCRACY!

*SO LO, IT WAS TOLD, THAT SNAILS AND BABS SEED AND PIPSQUEAK AND NOI AND FEATHERWEIGHT AND THE CHAMPION SILVER SPOON WOULD GO ROUND TO THE HOUSES OF THE MANE6. THEN THEY SIGNED WAIVERS SO THAT IF ANYONE OF THEM WERE TO BE EATEN OR HEXED OR BE COERCED INTO SOME VASTLY OVERPRICED TIME SHARE PROPERTY DEAL, THE MANE6 OR PONYVILLE SCHOOL CANNOT BE SUED IN ANY WAY*

[Deleted]

Seems like we have an interesting evening ahead of us.

[Mr PONYMANIA Mr Jenzie]

and before i eat something
PONYMANIA6 CONTINUES
and there's a problem .....

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}
MEANWHILE ON A ROAD IN PONYVILLE .....

<PINKIE PIE>*WITH THE 2HOOFS TAG HORSE CHAMPIONSHIP DRAPED OVER HER SHOULDER ..... BECAUSE!* SO I SAID TO APPLEJACK 'DON'T BE SILLY YOUR HOOF ISN'T ROUND THE WRONG WAY IT'S PERFECTLY FINE' AND SHE'S GOING 'SILLY PINKIE IT'S COMPLETELY THE WRONG WAY ROUND AND IT'S PERFECTLY FINE' ..... ALTHOUGH I MIGHT BE MISTAKEN AS SHE WAS SCREAMING QUITE A LOT!

<TREE HUGGER>*ALSO LUGGING AROUND THE 2HOOF TAG HORSE CHAMPIONSHIP BELT* POOR COUNTRY HORSE, MAYBE I CAN HELP WITH HER PREDICAMENT WITH THIS.

*TREE HUGGER PROCEEDS TO BRING OUT A BAGGIE WITH SOME 'VERY GOOD STUFF' IN IT, AND WAVES IT ABOUT THE PLACE*

<PINKIE PIE>HMM PERHAPS, BUT WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO GO BACK, BECAUSE WE HAVE TO .....

*BOTH LOOK UP AT THE CAVE AT THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN*

<PINKIE PIE>REAAAAAATCH THAT DRAGON!

<TREE HUGGER>SO DOES THAT MEAN ..... I CAN GET HIGH?

*AND THE AUDIENCE INSIDE PINKIE'S MIND STARTS LAUGHING LIKE IN A SIT-COM*

<PINKIE PIE>HAHA GOOD ONE TAG PARTNER.

*THEN PINKIE PIE AND TREE HUGGER START CHOKING ON THE SMOKE FROM THE DRAGON*

*THE AUDIENCE INSIDE PINKIE'S MIND START CHEERING AND CLAPPING AS THE TITLES ROLL*

.....

MEANWHILE IN A HIGH CLASS NEIGHBOURHOOD OF CANTERLOT, WHERE THE TASTY TREAT RESIDES .....

<LORD TIREK>YEAH I LIKE TO ORDER A 67, A 24 AND A 35 PLEASE ..... PLENTY OF RICE, HOLD THE LETTUCE ..... NOT A SALAD CENTAUR.

<CORIANDER CUMIN>YES SIR, COMING RIGHT UP ..... SAFFRON!!!

<SAFFRON MASALA>HERE COMES THE FOOD!

*LORD TIREK LOOKS AT THE FOOD IN FRONT OF HIM, TAKES A FORK IN CLOVEN HOOF, AND GIVES IT A NIBBLE*

<LORD TIREK>MMM, THAT'S A-GOOD SPICY MEATBALL!

*AND IN COMES FLEETFOOT, WORLD FAMOUS WONDERBOLT, VISITING HER COUSIN WHO'S PART OF THE ROYAL GUARD. THE ONE THAT WAS PULLING TWILIGHT SPARKLE'S CARRIAGE IN THE VERY FIRST EPISODE OF FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC, THE ONE ON THE LEFT ..... THE BETTER LOOKING ONE*

<FLEETFOOT>HOH PONY, ALL THAT FLYING HAS MADE ME RAVENOUS, SO WHAT BETTER WAY TO FILL MYSELF UP THAN A LOAD OF HOT AND SPICY FOOD. I HEARD ABOUT HERE THROUGH SOARIN', HE LIKES A CERTAIN KIND OF FOOD I HEAR, CAN'T THINK OF IT AT THIS TIME.

<SAFFRON MASALA>AAH WELCOME TO THE TASTY TREAT, HOW MAY I SERVE YOU?

<FLEETFOOT>WELL FOR STARTERS I WILL HAVE THE PEACH SOUP, THEN AS A MAIN COURSE THE CARROT CURRY, AND FOR DESSERT THOSE DELICIOUS CORIANDER COOKIES AND ICE CREAM ..... BUT FIRST I'D LIKE A GIANT FAN FOR ALL THIS DRAGON SMOKE THAT'S BILLOWING INTO YOUR RESTAURANT RIGHT NOW!

<SAFFRON MASALA>WHAAAAAAT?!?

*SAFFRON MASALA RUNS OUT AND RIGHT INTO THE DOOR, OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE OF THE MASSIVE AMOUNT OF SMOKE, THEN CAREFULLY RUNS OUT THE DOOR*

<SAFFRON MASALA>OH MY SALLY STIR FRY, IT'S A DRAGON UP IN THAT MOUNTAIN, AND IT APPEARS TO BE ASLEEP.

<FLEETFOOT>*ALSO RUBBING HER HEAD AS SHE COMES OUT* I SAID I WANTED MY ICE CREAM SMOKEY, BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS!

<SAFFRON MASALA>WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT THAT?

<FLEETFOOT>SAME THING WE ALWAYS DO SAFFRON, FLY LIKE WE KNOW HOW TOO, AND STOP THIS MENACE TO MY MEALTIME!

<SAFFRON MASALA>YOU MEAN .....

<FLEETFOOT>THAT'S CORECT-A-ONDO, WE GOTTA REAAAAAATCH THAT DRAGON!

<SAFFRON MASALA>FINE, WE NEED THE MEAT SUPPLIES ANYWAY, CANNOT BELIEVE HOW POPULAR THE HOT DRAGON BURGERS ARE HERE, EVERYONE THINKS ALL THESE PONYS ARE VEGETARIAN .....

*THEN SAFFRON MASALA AND FLEETFOOT START CHOKING ON THE SMOKE FROM THE DRAGON*

<CORIANDER CUMIN>AND HERE'S YOUR BILL SIR.

<LORD TIREK>*CHOKES ON HIS LETTUCE* FLIPPING HECK I'D GET BETTER PRICES IN TARTARUS!

.....

MEANWHILE AT THE HOME OF A WORLD FAMOUS SOUSAPHONE PLAYER .....

<BEAUTY BRASS>OH THAT'S GREAT NEWS OCTAVIA, THAT YOU AND VINYL SCRATCH ARE PERFORMING AT PONYMANIA6, I'M A WEE BIT JELLY THAT YOU ARE.

<HUGHBERT JELLIUS>DID I HEAR MY NAME BEING MENTIONED?

<BEAUTY BRASS>NO SWEETHORSE YOU DIDN'T.

<HUGHBERT JELLIUS>WELL HURRY UP AND COME BACK TO MY JAR, THE STRAWBERRY IS GETTING CO-OLD.

<BEAUTY BRASS>ANYWAY, ENJOY THE SHOW OCTI, AND TAKE PLENTY OF PICTURES ..... KISSES!

*CLICK*

<BEAUTY BRASS>NOW THEN, BACK TO THE SWEET TASTE OF JELLY.

<HUGHBERT JELLIUS>I HEAR MY NAME AGAIN .....

*KNOCK KNOCK*

<BEAUTY BRASS>UGH, OF ALL THE TIMES .....

*BEAUTY BRASS ANSWERS THE DOOR, AND AT THE DOOR IT'S HER NEW NEIGHBOUR WHO'S JUST MOVED TO THE AREA, IT'S NIGHT GLIDER*

<NIGHT GLIDER>HI THERE NEW NEIGHBOUR, YOU DON'T MIND HELPING ME OUT, AS I'VE APPEARED TO HAVE RUN OUT OF SUGAR. JUST A CUP IS ALL I NEED, SINCE THE SHOPS ARE SHUT AT THIS TIME OF DAY AND I REALLY NEED MY CORNFLAKES ..... AT NINE O'CLOCK AT NIGHT.

<BEAUTY BRASS>WHY ARE YOU EATING CORNFLAKES AT THIS TIME OF DAY?

<NIGHT GLIDER>OH. OKAY, THOUGHT I WOULD BE .....

<BEAUTY BRASS>NONO, LET ME GET SOME FOR YOU .....

*BEAUTY BRASS SCAMPERS IN AND COLLECTS WHAT IS REQUIRED, THEN COMES BACK, NICE AND SIMPLE*

<BEAUTY BRASS>THERE YOU GO, AND DON'T WORRY, YOU CAN ASK ME FOR ANYTHING.

<NIGHT GLIDER>WELL YOU HAVE A NICE ELECTRIC SANDER .....

<BEAUTY BRASS>WELL GOODBYE *AND POLITELY CLOSES DOOR* NOT GETTING MY FLIPPING SANDER! NOW FINALLY BACK TO THE GOOD STUFF!

*KNOCK KNOCK*

<BEAUTY BRASS>OH BLOODY OOMPAH OOMPAHS!

*OPENS DOOR AGAIN*

<NIGHT GLIDER>HI HELLO AGAIN, SORRY TO BOTHER YOU AGAIN, BUT I'M AFRAID THAT I HAVE A SLIGHTLY BIGGER PROBLEM .....

<BEAUTY BRASS>TOUCH MY SANDER AND I'LL CUT YOU!

<NIGHT GLIDER>ERM NO ..... I MEAN THAT!

*NIGHT GLIDER POINTS TO THE EVER CLOSING AND MASSIVE AMOUNT OF DRAGON SMOKE HEADING TOWARDS THE NEIGHBOURHOOD*

<BEAUTY BRASS>AHH FIDDLY TWANGS .....

<FIDDLY TWANG>SHUT THE DOOR YOU'RE LETTING THE HEAT OUT, AND I NEED MY TWANG FIDDLED SOME MORE!

<BEAUTY BRASS>IF I HAD A BIT FOR EVERY TIME I HEARD THAT ..... WAIT RIGHT THERE! *DAYDREAMS* OH WHERE WAS I?

<NIGHT GLIDER>THE IMPENDING DISASTER?

<BEAUTY BRASS>OH THAT'S RIGHT, THAT THING.

<NIGHT GLIDER>SO, DOES THAT MEAN WE'RE .....

<BEAUTY BRASS>UGH, DO I HAVE TO SAY IT.

<MR JENZIE>YEAH, YOU'RE CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGED.

<BEAUTY BRASS>REAAAAAATCH THAT DRAGON?

<MR JENZIE>*THUMBS UP*

<NIGHT GLIDER>EXCELLENT, I'LL GET YOUR MOTORBIKE .....

<BEAUTY BRASS>URGH!

*THEN BEAUTY BRASS AND NIGHT GLIDER AND FIDDLY TWANG AND HUGHBERT JELLIUS AND MR JENZIE START CHOKING ON THE SMOKE FROM THE DRAGON*

<FIDDLY TWANG>SO HUGHBERT, EVER TRIED MARMALADE?

<HUGHBERT JELLIUS>ONCE ..... FAR TOO STICKY FOR MY LIKING, TOOK ME THREE WEEKS TO CLEAN IT ALL OFF.

oh miss nikki .....

[Mr PONYMANIA Mr Jenzie]

interesting for EVERYONE

like "how many spelling mistakes can you spot before i do"

okay, now things get SERIOUS
now things get BRUTAL

now things get VERY VERY GRUMPY

the next match up has adult situations, and make the children cry loads, and who doesn't want that

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}{Spoiler}
MEANWHILE OUTSIDE SUGARCUBE CORNER, IT'S A BIT RAINY BUT NOTHING THAT CAN SPOIL A CAKE .....

<SUGAR BELLE>OH THANK YOU MRS CAKE, THIS CAKE IS LOVELY, AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME PUT MY SPECIAL SNOW ICING ON IT TOO. NIGHT GLIDER IS GONNA LOVE THIS FOR HIS HOUSE WARMING PARTY ..... YES PINKIE KNOWS, SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING ..... ALSO I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE PARTY FAVOUR AND DOUBLE DIAMOND AGAIN, AFTER THEIR TRIP TO OUR TOWN, YES WE SHOULD GET A BETTER NAME FOR IT MRS CAKE!

<ROSELUCK>OH I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT ROTTEN TRUNK DAISY WON THE PONY RUMBLE, THAT REALLY BOILS MY BUBBLES, TOTALLY THINK IT WAS A FIX AND ALL THAT! AND TODAY I RECEIVED THE BRAND SPANKING NEW E.W.E. INTERPONY TITLE BELT, LOOK AT IT AROUND MY SENSATIONAL WAIST HERE, AND NOT HAVE TO GET IT CLEANED AGAIN FOR A WHOLE YEAR ..... SINCE THERE'S NO ONE THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH TO TRY AND TAKE IT OFF ME. URGH THIS PONYVILLE BORES THE SPUDS OUT OF ME, CAN'T WAIT UNTIL THE GLORIOUS QUEEN OF QUEENS AITSELEC SSECNIRP TAKES OVER, BULLDOZES THAT IDIOTIC CASTLE OF FRIENDSHIP ..... AND BUILDS A MASSIVE CASTLE UP IN SPACE SO IT CAN COME DOWN AND CRUUUUUUUSH THIS MANURE PIT IN TOTALLY COMEDIC AND HILARIOUS STYLE!!!

AS YOU CAN SEE FOLKS, THIS IS ME BEING HAPPY!

<SUGAR BELLE>OH ..... WOOPS, ALMOST SPILLED THE CAKE, REALLY SHOULD HAVE MADE FOUR SMALLER ONES, SILLY ME. I SHOULD ALSO WATCH FOR THIS MASSIVE DIRTY PUDDLE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET TOO, DON'T WANT TO FALL IN AND RUIN MY NEWLY STYLED MANE, I DO LOVE MY MANE LIKE THIS ..... EXACTLY THE SAME AS BEFORE!

WHY CHANGE CLASSICNESS?

<ROSELUCK>OHH, AND THIS NEWLY BOUGHT DRESS IS REALLY RIDING UP ON ME, GOOD GRIEF IT'S RIGHT UP THERE! WELL THAT'S WHAT I GET FOR GOING TO THAT CANTERLOT BOUTIQUE, SILLY MARE ALWAYS MAKES THOSE TIGHT THINGS THAT YOU HAVE TO BE POURED INTO, AND IT COST A BOMB ..... ALMOST A FLIPPING WEEKS POCKET MONEY FOR A PIECE OF RUBBISH MATERIAL AND SOME QUESTIONABLE DESIGN CHOICES TOO, OH AND AS FOR THE ACCESSORIES .....

THAT'S IT, I'M POSTING A VICIOUS AND DEMEANING MESSAGE ON DRESSDESIGNBYRARITY.PON!

<SUGAR BELLE>WELL HELLO DUCKS, NICE TO SEE YOU CROSSING THE ROAD RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME WITH THAT MASSIVE DIRTY PUDDLE BEHIND, AND THERE'S A FAST APPROACHING CAB CAREERING DOWN TOWARDS ME TOO. IT'S IN SUCH A HURRY I WONDER IF THOSE DUCKS WILL GET ACROSS IN TIME, AND WITH THIS CAKE BEING EVER SO HEAVY I ALSO WONDER IF THE CAB WILL PASS ME SO FAST THAT IS WILL BLOW ME OVER AND INTO THE MASSIVE DIRTY PUDDLE, AND ALL THIS HARD WORK WILL BE FOR NOTHING.

MY FRIENDS WILL HAVE TO MAKE DO WITH TAKEAWAYS IF THAT EVER HAPPENED!

<ROSELUCK>YEUCH, OH SODDING PONYTAILS, THIS EXPENSIVE PASTRY IS DISGUSTING! WHO THE HECK MADE THIS, OF COURSE IT WAS THAT STUPID BUBBLE GUMMEY'D BRAINED LUNATIC, WHAT A FREAKING SURPRISE *SPITS IT OUT* OH NOW I FIND OUT I HAVE NO BITS IN MY PACK NOW! TERRIBLE CLOTHES AND HORRIBLE FOOD HAS WIPED ME OUT, AND I CAN'T EVEN GET A JOKE GET WELL CARD TO LILY EITHER, SHE HAS A DELICATE HEAD! SO NOW I HAVE TO CALL MY BANK TO *RINGS BANK* YES HELLO ..... HELLO, I WANT TO FIND OUT WHAT MY BIT ACCOUNT IS PLEASE? *WALKS ANGRY SOME MORE DOWN THE STREET* YES MY ACCOUNT IS 123456 *WALKS SOME MORE* WHATTYA MEAN THERE'S NO BITS IN MY ACCOUNT, THERE WAS PLENTY IN IT THIS MORNING DAMMIT!!!

I'M GONNA KILL TICKET JAMES AND NYXXY GUNN WHEN I GET BACK HOME! TAXI!

*THE CAB HEARS ROSELUCK AND CHANGES DIRECTION*

*THE DUCKS HEAR THE CAB AND START TO SCAMPER ABOUT THE PLACE*

*THE RAIN GETS A BIT HEAVIER ..... AND LEON IS GETTING LAAAAARRRRRGER!*

*AND THE MASSIVE DIRTY PUDDLE SITS THERE ..... WAITING .....*

*WILL THE CAB MAKE SUGAR BELLE TRIP OVER THE DUCKS AND FALL INTO THE MASSIVE DIRTY PUDDLE, RUINING HER NEW/OLD MANESTYLE AND MAKE THE CAKE LOOK LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF A HYDRA'S DUNG HEAP?*

*WILL ROSELUCK GET THE KNOT OUT OF HER FLANK, FIND A BETTER PLACE TO BUY PASTRIES FROM, AND PURCHASE FROM EBUCK A MALLET BIG ENOUGH TO KNOCK SENSE INTO TICKET AND NYXXY?*

<CRANKY DOODLE DONKEY>DON'T BE A IDIOT, NONE OF THESE THINGS HAPPEN, THIS IS PONYVILLE NOT IMAGINATIONLAND! *SPOTS SOMETHING FLYING UP IN THE SKY* YOU FREAKING KIDS WITH YOUR LA-DE-DA SINGING!

<SUGAR BELLE>PHEW THAT WAS CLOSE, I DIDN'T TRIP OVER THOSE DUCKS *WAVES TO THEM*, I DIDN'T MESS UP MY MANE ..... AND MY CAKE IS STILL PERFECTLY FINE! BUT I SEEM TO BE FACING THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION THAT I WANT TO BE FACING IN FOR NO OTHER REASON OTHER THAN DRAMATIC CONTENT .....

<ROSELUCK>DAMMIT TO SODDING DAMMIT, I HAVE NO MONEY TO GET THE CAB *WAVES IT GOODBYE*, I STILL HAVE THIS RIDICULOUS DRESS ON FOR NO REASON ..... AND MY BRAND NEW E.W.E. INTERPONY TITLE BELT WILL NEVER GET DIRTY AGAIN! BUT I SEEM TO BE FACING THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION THAT I WANT TO BE FACING IN FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN DRAMATIC CONTENT .....

<CRANKY DOODLE DONKEY>OH FOR THE LOVE OF PLOTS .....

<SUGAR BELLE>*TURNS AROUND*

<ROSELUCK>*TURNS AROUND*

<THE PREDATOR>TURN AROUND …..

<CRANKY DOODLE DONKEY>CAN YOU GUESS WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?

*BOTH SUGAR BELLE AND ROSELUCK WALK INTO EACH OTHER, BOTH FALL INTO THE MASSIVE DIRTY PUDDLE, AND EVERYTHING GETS SOAKING WET AND RUINED*

<SUGAR BELLE>NOOOOOOOO!!!! MY MANE! MY CAKE! MY SPECIAL SNOW ICING!

<ROSELUCK>NOOOOOOOO!!!! MY TERRIBLE DRESS! MY PHONE! MY ..... YOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU!!!

*POINTS AT SUGAR BELLE*

<SUGAR BELLE>LOOK AT ME .... LOOK ..... AT ..... ME ..... DRENCHED, COLD, AND I THINK I'M ABOUT TO BE LYNCHED!

<ROSELUCK>OF ALL THE IDIOTIC, STUPID, THICK HEADED BLOCKHEADS!!! YOU SEE THIS *THRUSTS THE SOAKING AND TERRIBLY FILTHY E.W.E. INTERPONY TITLE BELT IN HER FACE* THIS WAS CLEAN FIVE SECONDS AGO *THRUSTS BELT IN FACE SOME MORE* AND NOW IT'S ALL RUINED NOW!!!

<SUGAR BELLE>BUT I'M SORRY .....

<ROSELUCK>*IN MOCKING VOICE* OH I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SOOOOOOOORRY!

<SUGAR BELLE>BUT WHAT ABOUT MY CAKE? MY MANE?

<ROSELUCK>TO HECK WITH THEM, MY TITLE BELT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD, AND YOUR FAT PLOT HAS MADE IT ALL WET, AND IF THIS BLOODY DRESS WASN'T SO FAR UP MY BUM THAT IT COULD GAROTTE MYSELF AT ANY TIME ..... I'D BLOOMING WELL PUNCH YOU ON THE BOTTOM!!!

SO HERE'S THE DEAL SUGAR BUTT ..... PONYMANIA6 ..... GET YOUR ASS TO APPLELOOSA AND FACE ME FOR THIS TITLE, SO I CAN PUMMEL YOUR MANE AND MAYBE MAKE IT BETTER THAN IT IS NOW!

*SUGAR BELLE LOOKS DESPERATELY SAD ..... EVERYONE SAY AHH*

<ROSELUCK>AND WHEN I BEAT YOU SO BAD THAT YOU'LL LOOK LIKE CM WATERS ON A GOOD DAY, YOU'LL PAY TO HAVE MY TITLE BELT CLEANED ..... JUST LIKE IT WAS ..... OH FAUST MY BUTTON IS UNBELIEVABLY RAW ..... *STEPS OUT THE MASSIVE DIRTY PUDDLE AND POINTS AT THE VERY DISTRESSED SUGAR BELLE, THEN DOES THAT CUT THROAT SIGN THAT'S ALL THE RAGE WITH THE KIDS THESE DAYS*

<SUGAR BELLE>HOW CAN THIS DAY GET ANY WORSE?

<NELSON MUNCE>HA HA!

.....

MEANWHILE AT THE HOUSE WARMING PARTY .....

<PARTY FAVOUR>*LOOKS AT WATCH*

<DOUBLE DIAMOND>*KEEPS SWITCHING OVER TELEVISION RANDOMLY*

*AND THE CLOCK TICKS ..... EXCITING ISN'T IT?*

<NIGHT GLIDER>WELP, SHE AIN'T COMING ..... ANYONE UP FOR SOME TWISTER?

how are you at party games nikki?

[Mr PONYMANIA Mr Jenzie]

and we have our first proper toilet break rocking song time .....

will eunos be happy?

we can only hope, it is after all, a classic song of that nature!

LET'S RAAAAAAAAWK!!!

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}


ACE OF MARKS
(SUNG TO THE TUNE OF MOTORHEAD – ACE OF SPADES)

*SCOOTALOO PLAYS ELECTRIC GUITAR*
DA NA NA NANA NANANANA
DA NA NA NANA NANANANA

*APPLE BLOOM PLAYS DRUMS, SWEETIE BELLS ON VOCALS*
IF YOU LIKE TO CRITTER-SITTER, I TELL YOU I'M YOUR MARE
YOU DRAG RACE, YOU PARKOUR, IT'S ALL THE SAME TO ME
THE PLEASURE IS TO POTION MAKE, MAKES NO DIFFERENCE WHERE YOU SKY-DIVE
I DON'T NEED YOUR CEANERA, THE ONLY MARK I NEED
THE MARK OF CUTIE, THE MARK OF CUTIE

*SCOOTALOO JUMPS ONTO DRUMS*
DA NA NA NANA NANANANA
DA NA NA NANA NANANANA

*SWEETIE BELLE CONTINUES SINGING*
PLAYING FOR THE PILLOW TEST, ZIP-LINING FOR THE REST
GOING WITH THE WATER SKIING, IT'S ALL ATTEMPTS FOR ME
SKATING OR SCOOTERING, COCKATRICE IS WATCHING YOU
TRIPLE UP OR QUITE, TRIPLE UP AND CANNON IT
THE MARK OF CUTIE, THE MARK OF CUTIE

*SCOOTALOO JUMPS ABOUT SOME MORE*
DA NA NA NANA NANANANA
DA NA NA NANA NANANANA

*BABS SEED SINGS*
I KNOW I TRIED TO FIT IN, AND SNITCHES AIN'T SO CUTE
BUT DT AND SS ARE NOT SO GREAT
I DON'T WANT TO BLANK FOREVER

*GABBY ALSO SINGS*
AND DON'T FORGET THE GRIFFON

*SCOOTALOO GRINDS THE GUITAR MIGHTILY*
DUN DUNDUN
DA NANA NANA
DUN DUNDUN
NA NANA NANA
DA NA NA NANA NANANANA
DA NA NA NANA NANANANA
DA NA NA NANA NANANANA
DA NA NA NANA NANANANA

*SWEETIE BELLE FINISHES WITH A FLOURISH*
PUSHING ON THEM CHICKENS, KNOW I GOTTA CATCH THEM
FLYING ALL THOSE FLAGS, THE FRIENDSHIP GAMES ARE HERE
I SEE IT IN OUR ADVENTURES, TAKE ONE FALCON TO FLY
THE ONLY MARK YOU SEE, YOU KNOW IT'S GONNA BE
THE MARK OF CUTIE

*SWEETIE BELLE/APPLE BLOOM/SCOOTALOO/BABS SEED/GABBY TOGETHER*
THE MARK OF CUTIE

*SCOOTALOO RIPS THE GUITAR ONCE MORE*
DAH NAH NAH
DAH NAH DALADAH
DAH NAH NAH
DAH NAH NAH

*SWEETIE BELLE/APPLE BLOOM/SCOOTALOO/BABS SEED/GABBY FINISHES OFF*
DAH NAH DAH
DAH NAH DAH

*LIGHTS GO OFF*

[Eunös ✈]

Great, hidden posts galore.

[Mr PONYMANIA Mr Jenzie]

we're deep inside PONYMANIA6 now folks, and the big names keep a-coming, with this tale or morality ..... family ..... and massive fights .....

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}
MEANWHILE AT THE HAUTE COUTURE PALACE THAT IS CANTERLOT BOUTIQUE .....

<RARITY>*ON THE TELEPHONE* WELL OF COURSE GRANNY SMITH, THE ORDER OF 400 ROLLS OF GINGHAM WILL GET TO YOU TOMORROW, SO THAT YOU AND THE FAMILY CAN SURPRISE POOR APPLEJACK WITH A SURPRISE FASHION AND CURTAINS SHOW. IT'S A PITY I CANNOT ATTEND, BECAUSE OF THE OBVIOUSLY INCREDIBLY BUSY TIME I'M HAVING SELLING ALL MY EXPENSIVE DRESS LINES, AND ALL THESE CUSTOMERS I HAVE TO PLEASE WITH THEIR VERY INTRICATE DESIGN SPECIFICATIONS TOO. ALL TOO BUSY TO COME I'M AFRAID ..... OF COURSE ..... OF COURSE ..... MMM HMM ..... AND THAT ONE .....

WELL SEE YOU SOON GRANNY SMITH, AND I'LL COME UP AS SOON AS I HAVE TIME ..... GOODBYE.

*CLICK*

<RARITY>YES, SO BUSY.

*CRICKETS CHIRP*

<RARITY>OH SWEETIE BELLE, COULD YOU GET RID OF THESE CRICKETS FOR ME?

<SWEETIE BELLE>OH WHAT NOW ..... COMING DEAR SISTER OF MINE.

<RARITY>YES DEAR, THE CRICKETS.

<SWEETIE BELLE>BUT THEY ARE YOUR BEST CUSTOMERS!

<RARITY>OH SWEETIE BELLE, WHAT EVER SHALL WE DO, OUR TILL IS SO BARE AND OUR BOUTIQUE IS SO VERY LACKING IN FASHIONISTAS ..... WHATEVER SHALL WE DO? *TERRIBLE ACTING FOLLOWS OF RARITY PRETEND FAINTING AND SWANNING ABOUT THE PLACE*

<SWEETIE BELLE>DO I LOOK LIKE AN ACCOUNTANT? ANYWAY, I'M BUSY REHEARSING FOR OUR BIG SONG AT PONYMANIA6, ME AND APPLE BLOOM AND SCOOTALOO ..... AND DON'T FORGET THE SPECIAL GUESTS OF FELLOW CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS BABS SEED AND GABBY, WONDER WHY SHE HASN'T CALLED?

<RARITY>WELL, THERE'S NOTHING ELSE FOR IT I'M AFRAID. *STARTS POURING GASOLINE OVER THE JOINT*

<SWEETIE BELLE>*WATCHES* DO I LOOK LIKE A FIRESTARTER, TWISTED FIRERSTARTER, THAT'S YOUR ANSWER TO EVERYTHING ISN'T IT ..... FIRE!

<RARITY>IT IS NOT ..... WELL, ONLY THE LAST FIVE OR SIX TIMES.

*AND AS RARITY EMPTIES THE GAS CAN, SUDDENLY THE DOORBELL RINGS*

<RARITY>WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

<SWEETIE BELLE>OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG IT'S ..... IT'S CUSTOMERS!

<RARITY>CUSTOMERS!!! OH MY, QUICK SWEETIE BELLE GET THE BRUSH ..... GET THE DUSTERS ..... GET THE ROBOT VACUUM THINGY THAT GOES WOOO WOOO WOOO!

<SWEETIE BELLE>DO I LOOK LIKE A BIG SUCKY THING! *RUNS TO DOOR AND AWAITS WHOEVER IS UPON THEM* WELCOME TO CANTERLOT BOUTIQUE ..... OH IT'S YOU.

<DIAMOND TIARA>BUT MOM, I DON'T WANNA FANCY NEW DRESS FROM HERE, ALL THE GIRLS AT SCHOOL WILL LAUGH AT ME, AS I WEAR OUTDATED AND OBVIOUSLY TERRIBLE CLOTHES ..... I'LL BE A LAUGHING STOCK!

<SPOILED RICH>OH COME ON, WE'VE BEEN COMING HERE SINCE OCTOBER 10 2010, AND THE CLOTHES HERE ARE PERFECTLY FINE.

<DIAMOND TIARA>*MASSIVE HUFF*

<SWEETIE BELLE>HI DIAMOND TIARA *SNARKS*

<DIAMOND TIARA>OH LOOK, IT'S THE QUESTION THAT NO ONE ANSWERED.

<SWEETIE BELLE>DO I LOOK LIKE A SQUIGGLY LINE?

<DIAMOND TIARA>PFFT ..... NO!

<SPOILED RICH>DIAMOND!!!

<DIAMOND TIARA>OH FOR FAAAAAAUUUUUUST'S SAKE MOTHER ..... FINE FINE, I'LL GET A NEW AND HORRIBLE DRESS.

<SPOILED RICH>THAT'S A GOOD PONY, NOW THEN MY FAIR WEATHERED HOSTESS, WHAT IS THE NEW STYLE OF FASHION THIS SEASON? I NEED SOMETHING BRIGHT AND SPRINGY, SO THAT FILTHY RICH CAN BE KEPT INTERESTED?

<RARITY>*STARES AT SPOILED RICH* YOU WANT TO BUY SOMETHING???

<SPOILED RICH>YES YES NOW HURRY UP AND SHOW ME THE MOST UP TO DATE HORSE WEAR ..... NEVER MIND THERE IS A FINE SELECTION OVER THERE, CAN YOU SHOW ME WHAT'S BEST TO KEEP OUR MARRIAGE FROM IMPLODING.

<RARITY>WHY, WHY CERTAINLY I CAN, AND NOT A MOMENT TOO SOON TOO. HERE HERE, LET ME INSTRUCT YOU ON MY LATEST BUYS .....

<SWEETIE BELLE>*MORE SNARKINESS* SO, YOU LOOKING FOR A FANCY NEW DRESS ARE YOU, LET ME INSTRUCT YOU ON OUR LATEST BUYS, THIS BRAND NEW MOP!

<DIAMOND TIARA>*FUMES* SO, YOU'RE STILL ONE STEP AWAY FROM EATING GARBAGE?

<SWEETIE BELLE>DO I LOOK LIKE A GARBAGE TRUCK?

.....

<RARITY>NOW OF COURSE THIS LINE OF DESIGNS ARE FROM LAST MONTH, BUT THEY STILL GET SHIFTED, WELL AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT THAT PRIM HEMLINE KEEPS TELLING ME.

<SPOILED RICH>SO YOU'RE NOT IN TERRIBLE FINANCIAL TROUBLE THEN?

<RARITY>WHAT WHAAAAAAT? OF COURSE NOT DEAR, MY BUSINESS IS GETTING ON PRETTY NICELY AT THIS TIME. WHY-WHY DO YOU SAY THAT EXACTLY?

<SPOILED RICH>THE LACK OF CUSTOMERS?

<RARITY>YES WELL .....

<SPOILED RICH>THE EMPTY SAFE UNDER THOSE REFRESHMENTS?

<RARITY>AHH, WE DON'T HAVE A SAFE .....

<SPOILED RICH>*KICKS REFRESHMENTS AWAY REVEALING A MOTH EATEN SAFE FULL OF HOLES*

<RARITY>OHH, THAT SAFE.

<SPOILED RICH>AND IT APPEARS YOU'RE HIRING WILDLIFE!

<RARITY>OKAY, THEY ARE CHEAP AND THEY DON'T COMPLAIN, AND IF THEY DO THEY GET SENT BACK TO THE EVERFREE FOREST .....

<SPOILED RICH>SO HOW MUCH?

<RARITY>OH I COULDN'T.

<SPOILED RICH>OKAY THEN, I'LL LEAVE AND SEE YOU WALLOW IN YOUR OWN CRAPULANCE!

<RARITY>WAIT WAIT, I DIDN'T SAY NO! OH PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, HELP ME IN MY DIRE FINANCIAL DILEMMA SPOILED RICH!

<SPOILED RICH>WELL IF YOU PUT IT LIKE THAT .....

*SUDDENLY THERE'S AN ALMIGHTY CRASH AND BOTH RUN BACK INTO THE SHOP*

<RARITY>SWEETIE BELLE!!!

<SPOILED RICH>DIAMOND TIARA!!!

*THEY SEE BOTH FILLIES HAVING A RIGHT OLD HORSE FIGHT*

<SWEETIE BELLE>MY SISTER IS BIGGER THAN YOUR MOM!

<DIAMOND TIARA>WELL MY MOM IS BETTER AND RICHER THAT YOUR SISTER!

<RARITY>WHAT IN THE BLUEBLOOD BLOCKHEADS IS GOING ON?

<SWEETIE BELLE>SHE STARTED IT!

<DIAMOND TIARA>NO I BLOODY WELL DIDN'T!

<SWEETIE BELLE>YES YOU DID, YOU INVADED POLAND!

<DIAMOND TIARA>AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!! *AND THE FILLY FIGHT CONTINUES*

*OUTSIDE THERE ARE A FAMILY OF DUCKS JUST WALKING DOWN THE ROAD AND HEAR THE COMMOTION*

<DUCKS>NOPE! *AND TURN AROUND*

<SPOILED RICH>*PULLS DIAMOND TIARA OFF SWEETIE BELLE AND RARITY PICKS UP THE BEDRAGGLED SWEETIE BELLE* THAT'S IT, I'M TAKING YOU TO MILITARY SCHOOL MY GIRL!

<DIAMOND TIARA>SWEETIE SAID THAT SHE COULD BEAT ME IN A PONYMANIA6 MATCH, AND I SAID NAW YOU AIN'T AND SHE PINCHED MY NOSE, THEN I SLAPPED HER UP THE CHOPS!

<SWEETIE BELLE>I SAID I COULD BEAT HER IN A PONYMANAI6 MATCH, AND I SAID NOT UNTIL YOU GET ALL THAT FAKE COLOUR OUT OF YOUR MANE, ALSO SOME CHOP SLAPPING OCCURRED.

<RARITY>HMMM ..... AHA! I GOT IT! I KNOW HOW I CAN SOLVE MY PROBLEM .....

.....

<HASBRO LAWYERS>AND THAT'S SETTLED THEN, AND YOU BOTH AGREE TO THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS, AND ALSO THERE'S NO BACKSIES?

<RARITY>ABSOLUTELY NOT, WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM?

<SPOILED RICH>YES ..... YES. I THINK.

<DIAMOND TIARA>MOM, ARE WE OR ARE WE NOT GONNA EVICT THEM AND TURN CAROUSEL BOUTIQUE INTO A ZAP APPLE JAM JAR STORAGE CENTER?

<SWEETIE BELLE>NOT ON YOUR PLOTTING LIFE YOU WON'T, WE ARE GONNA BEAT YOU, AND MAKE SURE THAT MY BIG SISTER'S BUSINESS GETS THE BITS THAT IT NEEDS ..... FROM YOUR MOMMY! *PULLS FUNNY FACE*

<SPOILED RICH>GIMME THAT CONTRACT! *SCRIBBLES SIGNATURES*

<RARITY>AND AS A LADY THAT I AM *GRACEFULLY MAGICS UP PEN AND WRITES DELICATELY BOTH THEIR NAMES* AND ALL DONE *SMILES DELICIOUSLY AT A SLIGHTLY CONCERNED SPOILED RICH* BUT OF COURSE YOU CAN DEFEAT ME IN THE MATCH OF MY CHOICE SPOILED RICH.

<SWEETIE BELLE>BECAUSE WE'VE WON IT BEFORE.

<RARITY>OUR SIGNATURE MATCH AT PONYMANIA6 IS .....

*THE DOOR SLAMS AND THE TWO BIG HEADS LEAVE IN AN ALMIGHTY HUFF*

<SPOILED RICH>I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE GOT OURSELVES INTO LITTLE LADY, BECAUSE NOW I HAVE TO FIND A PERSONAL TRAINER AT GREAT EXPENSE .....

<DIAMOND TIARA>I DO KNOW, AND THE EXPRESSION ON SWEETIE BELLE'S WITTLE FACE WHEN WE KICK THEM OUT OF CAROUSEL BOUTIQUE WILL BE ALL WORTH IT, SO I'LL HELP YOU MOM TO TRAIN UP ..... AND KEEP ME OUT OF MILITARY SCHOOL.

*INSIDE CAROUSEL BOUTIQUE RARITY AND SWEETIE BELLE LOOK OUT IN TRIUMPH*

<RARITY>WELL SWEETIE BELLE, IT LOOKS LIKE WE ARE GOING TO KEEP THE SHOP AFTER ALL, BECAUSE .....

*SO IN THE NEXT FOUR MINUTES AND TWENTY SECONDS, THERE IS A FABULOUS SONG SUNG BY BOTH OF THEM, TELLING THE AUDIENCE ABOUT HOW LUCKY THEY ARE TO HAVE SUCH A WONDERFUL BOUTIQUE AND WHAT NOT. SURELY IT WILL WIN AN AWARD OR TWO IN THE NEAR FUTURE. IT REALLY IS A WONDERFUL AND GREAT SONG TOO, PITY YOU CAN'T HEAR IT*

.....

MEANWHILE AT THE PONYMANIA6 TRAINING FACILITY AT APPLELOOSA .....

<SPOILED RICH>SO THIS IS IT THEN.

<DIAMOND TIARA>COME ON MOM, WE CAN GET THE FIRST SHOT ON THE HAY PUSHING MACHINE AND THE EGG BALANCER AND THE THREE CRATE MOUNTAIN AND THE PIES AND THE BASKET HURDLES AND THE GRAPE STOMPER AND THE MUD, THE LOVELY LOVELY MUD .....

<SPOILED RICH>*SADLY LOOKS INTO THE CAMERA AND SIGHS* CAN YOU GUESS THE MATCH WE'RE HAVING AT PONYMANIA6 FOLKS?

[Mr PONYMANIA Mr Jenzie]

Apr 2, 2017 13:57:08 GMT -5 Eunös ✈ said:

Great, hidden posts galore.

you'll have to work for your supper peach cobbler .....
oh but dear eunos, still there is a surprise FOR YOU!

[Mr PONYMANIA Mr Jenzie]

and when eunos comes back, the surprise is HERE!!!

but alas that isn't the main story, that involves the straightest story i wrote for PONYMANIA, and it's lovely .....

and i'm sure nikki will also enjoy it

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}
MEANWHILE AT THE LOCAL PONY COMI-COM, WHERE ALL THE NERDS HANG OUT .....

<HOLLY DASH>*SIGNS A MY LITTLE PONY FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC ISSUE 7* THERE YOU GO LITTLE FILLY.

<PINA COLADA>HECK YEAH I GOT THE JOHN HANCOCK OF MY FAVOURITE PONY SUPERSTAR WHO ISN'T RAINBOW DASH .....

<HOLLY DASH>*SIGHS* IT'S NOT THE SAME REALLY, I KNOW I SHOULDN'T BE JEALOUS OF THOSE OTHER MORE WELL KNOWN PONYS, AND MY VERY GOOD FRIEND AND CANTERLOT CHAMPION THUNDERLANE IS SO SUPPORTIVE OF ME. BUT I GOT A TASTE FOR IT AT THE PONY RUMBLE, AND I LOVED IT, AND I SPENT THE MOST TIME IN IT TOO. SO PROUD OF MY ACHIEVEMENT. I REALLY SHOULDN'T BUT ..... COULD I?

COULD I ASK THUNDERLANE FOR A TITLE MATCH AT PONYMANA6?

I DON'T KNOW HOW HE WOULD REACT, AFTER ALL THAT TROUBLE THAT LIMESTONE PIE CAUSED HIM, SHE WAS SO ANGRY ALL THE TIME AND THAT DIDN'T SIT RIGHT WITH HIM. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

<APPLE FRITTER>WAIT WHAT? WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME? I WISH THAT LIMESTONE WOULD HAVE GOTTEN THE BETTER OF THAT CHUMPION MYSELF, SHE'D BE THE BETTER CHAMP AND NOT SOME FANGIRLS DWEAMY WEAMY!

<HOLLY DASH>THAT'S NOT THE ADVICE I WANTED TO HEAR.

<APPLE FRITTER>NEVER MIND THAT DONKEY PLOP, ARE YOU GONNA SIGN MY BUTT OR NOT?

<HOLLY DASH>WHA ..... NO!!!

<APPLE FRITTER>YOU MARE OF A MONKEY, I HAD TO WAIT SEVEN MONTHS IN LINE FOR THIS, I COULD HAVE BEEN AT PARTIES AND AT EUNOS'S HOUSE GETTING BLADDERED! NOW YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU AIN'T BALLPOINTING MY FLANK BECAUSE YOUR TOO PWECIOUS, YOU CELEBRITIES ARE ALL THE SAME, I'M SO GONNA HUMBLE YOU RIGHT NOW .....

<HOLLY DASH>SECURITY!

*HORSE SECURITY COMES OVER AND DRAGS APPLE FRITTER AWAY*

<APPLE FRITTER>YOU'LL LIVE TO REGRET THIS, I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE .....

*AND OUT THE DOOR SHE GOES, BLOODY TROUBLE MAKER*

<HOLLY DASH>AHH, THAT DIDN'T HELP AT ALL! WAIT A KING MO, I KNOW HOW TO DO IT, AND AFTER ALL THIS IS ALL ABOUT FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC!

*SNAPS HER HOOF*

<HOLLY DASH>I GOT IT!

.....

MEANWHILE AT THUNDERLANE'S HOUSE ..... NO, THAT'S ALL I GOT ..... THUNDERLANE'S HOUSE, SIMPLE AS THAT .....

<THUNDERLANE>SO WHO IS LINED UP AT PONYMANIA6 THEN PRINCESS CELESTIA, BRAND NEW E.W.E. SUNSHINE COMMISSIONER AND ALL ROUND GOOD ALICORN?

<PRINCESS CELESTIA>WELL WE HAVE A GREAT LINE UP OF WONDERFULLY TALENTED PONIES, AND THEY ALL HAVE GOOD CREDENTIALS, BUT YOU HAVEN'T SO FAR COME UP TO MY OFFICE AND PICKED SOMEONE YET FOR YOUR REQUISITE TITLE DEFENSE? *GRACEFULLY SIPS A CUP OF TEA*

<THUNDERLANE>I CAN'T PICK ONE REALLY, OTHER THAN LIMESTONE PIE, WHO ELSE IS THERE. I'VE BEATEN HER SO MANY TIMES IT'S GETTING SILLY NOW, AND THAT APPLE FRITTER IS TOTALLY OFF HER MEDS, FAR TOO MENTAL AND CRAZED ..... CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF THAT MR EUNOS PUT THEM TOGETHER .....

<PRINCESS CELESTIA>I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT THEM THUNDERLANE, I'LL MAKE SURE THEY GET PUT IN THEIR PLACE SOON ENOUGH, BUT THAT STILL LEAVES YOU WITHOUT A PONYMANIA6 MATCH? *NIBBLES ON A PIECE OF DELICATE CAKE*

<THUNDERLANE>SO WHAT NOW THEN, IS THERE SOMEONE WHO I CAN HAVE A FRIENDLY TITLE MATCH WITH?

<PRINCESS CELESTIA>HMM, THERE IS SOMEPONY, BUT WOULD YOU FACE HER? *TAKES A CAN OF WHIPPED CREAM AND GENTLY SPRAYS IT INTO HER MOUTH*

<THUNDERLANE>YOU DON'T MEAN?, NO I COULDN'T, SHE'S A FRIEND TO ME .....

<PRINCESS CELESTIA>SURELY YOU CAN HAVE A MATCH AT PONYMANIA6, EVEN WITH YOUR GOOD FRIEND AND SUCH *TAKES A COCONUT AND CRACKS IT BETWEEN HER THIGHS* I COULD ARRANGE FOR IT TO TAKE PLACE .....

<THUNDERLANE>NO I COULDN'T, EVEN FOR THE CANTERLOT TITLE, I LIKE HER TOO MUCH.

<PRINCESS CELESTIA>YOU LIKED LIMESTONE PIE ALL THAT TIME AGO TOO. *RECEIVES SOME GIANT HYDRA RIBS, THEN THE CHAIR FALLS OVER*

<THUNDERLANE>I'M SORRY PRINCESS CELESTIA, I JUST COULDN'T .....

<PRINCESS CELESTIA>OH WELL THEN, I'M SURE AT PONYMANIA6 YOU CAN BE A GUEST OF HONOUR OR HOST THE BARN OF BRILLIANCE, YOU CAN STILL BE USEFUL.*SIPS A MASSIVE LONG ISLAND ICED TEA*

*THE PHONE GOES ..... IT GOES 'BRNNG BRNNG' ..... 'BRNNG BRNNG' .....

<THUNDERLANE>HELLO, LOCAL RESIDENT NIGHT STALLION THUNDERLANE SPEAKING.

<HOLLY DASH>THUNDERLANE ..... I HAVE A WONDERFUL IDEA .....

.....

MEANWHILE AS THUNDERLANE'S EYES ARE COVERED BY HOLLY DASH'S HOOVES, HE'S LED INTO A MYSTERIOUS LOCATION .....

<HOLLY DASH>KEEP THOSE EYES CLOSED THUNDERLANE.

<THUNDERLANE>OH THIS IS EXCITING, I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT YOU HAVE PLANNED.

<HOLLY DASH>THERE, YOU CAN STOP NOW.

*BOTH STAND THERE AND HOLLY DASH PULLS AWAY HER HOOVES*

<HOLLY DASH>SURPRISE!!!

*AND ALL A SUDDEN THUNDERLANE'S EYES AND EARS ARE FILLED WITH THE JOYOUS SOUND OF LAUGHTER AND CHEERING, WITH PONIES ALL AROUND ENJOYING THEMSELVES AND HAVING A VERY GOOD TIME, AND HOLLY DASH AND THUNDERLANE LOOK AT EACH OTHER WITH LOVE AND FRIENDLINESS*

<HOLLY DASH>THIS IS MY IDEA THUNDERLANE, TO CELEBRATE OUR FRIENDSHIP I DECIDED TO BRING ALL OUR FRIENDS TOGETHER, AND SHARE MY HAPPINESS WITH YOU.

<THUNDERLANE>OH HOW WONDERFUL OF YOU TO DO THIS HOLLY.

<HOLLY DASH>AND I CALL IT .....

*A GREAT STONKING BANNER UNFURLS*

<HOLLY DASH>HOLLY DASH AND THUNDERLANE'S MAGIC OF FRIENDSHIP PARTY!

*EVERYPONY CHEERS AND HOLLY DASH AND THUNDERLANE BOTH HUG EACH OTHER IN CELEBRATION*

<THUNDERLANE>AWW, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE.

<HOLLY DASH>OF COURSE I DID, I WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE A MATCH AT PONYMANIA6, IT WOULDN'T DETRACT FROM THE FACT THAT WE ARE VERY GOOD FRIENDS.

<THUNDERLANE>THAT'S SO BEAUTIFUL HOLLY DASH, YOU'VE REALLY PUT SOME THOUGHT INTO THIS, AND I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER!

*THEY BOTH LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND HUG AGAIN*

<HOLLY DASH>AND THERE I WAS GETTING ALL WORRIED ABOUT ASKING YOU FOR A MATCH FOR THE CANTERLOT TITLE AT PONYMANIA6, WHAT WAS I THINKING, SILLY OLD ME .....

<THUNDERLANE>OH .....

<HOLLY DASH>OH NONONO I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT THUNDERLANE!

<THUNDERLANE>I SEE.

<HOLLY DASH>NO THUNDERLANE, I CAN'T HAVE A MATCH WITH YOU, DON'T MAKE ME DO IT!

<THUNDERLANE>*LOOKS AT HOLLY DASH, THEN CHUCKLES* OH COME ON HOLLY, YOU DON'T SAY THAT YOU WANT TO HAVE YOUR PONYMANIA6 MOMENT, AND THEN PUT ALL THAT HARD WORK INTO THE PONY RUMBLE?

<HOLLY DASH>BUT THEN AT THE PONY COMI-COM I WAS JUST THINKING THAT IF I PLUCKED UP ENOUGH COURAGE .....

*THUNDERLANE PUTS UP A HOOF TO HOLLY DASH'S MOUTH*

<THUNDERLANE>I WANT TO YOU CELEBRATE WHAT YOU DID AT THE PONY RUMBLE JUST AS MUCH AS I WANT TO CELEBRATE BEING CANTERLOT CHAMPION, AND IF THAT MEANS GETTING INTO THE RING TOGETHER AND HAVING AN ENJOYABLE AND EXCITING MATCH, THEN WHO IS TO STOP US .....

WHO I TELL YOU .....

WHO I .....

*PRINCESS CELESTIA WHISPERS IN HIS EAR*

<THUNDERLANE>OH SORRY, THAT JOKE IS POSTPONED, BUT I THINK THAT OUR MATCH AT PONYMANIA6 ..... IS NOT!

<PRINCESS CELESTIA>AND I'VE ALREADY DRAWN UP THE CONTRACT FOR YOU TWO TO SIGN AT E.W.E. TOWERS TOMORROW, AND THEN YOU TWO CAN PREPARE FOR YOUR FRIENDLY MATCH FOR THE CANTERLOT TITLE AT PONYMANIA6, A NICE AND EXCITING MATCH.

<HOLLY DASH>OH THANK YOU PRINCESS CELESTIA, I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO GO ABOUT IT, BUT YOU AND THUNDERLANE PUT MY MIND AT EASE.

<THUNDERLANE>NO PROBLEM HOLLY DASH, AND TO ME, IT WON'T MATTER WHICH ONE OF US IS THE CANTERLOT CHAMPION ..... AS EITHER ONE OF US WOULD MAKE A FINE TITLE HOLDER, AND I WOULD SUPPORT YOU ONE HUNDRED PERCENT IF YOU DEFEATED ME.

YOU ARE ONE OF MY VERY BEST FRIENDS AND IT WOULD BE A PLEASURE IN FACING YOU AT PONYMANIA6, BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW A PONY WHO DESERVES IT MORE!

<HOLLY DASH>*TEARING UP* OH THUNDERLANE, I KNEW YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND *GIVES HIM A MASSIVE HUG* I WON'T LET YOU DOWN, AND I WON'T LET YOU DOWN EITHER PRINCESS CELESTIA.

<PRINCESS CELESTIA>ACH, YOU CRAZY KIDS.

<THUNDERLANE>COME ON HOLLY, LET'S ENJOY THIS MAGIC IS FRIENDSHIP PARTY, AND LET'S CELEBRATE US HAVING A WONDERFUL MATCH AT PONYMANIA6.

<HOLLY DASH>THANK YOU THUNDERLANE, I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS.

*AND AS THE PARTY GETS INTO FULL GEAR, PRINCESS CELESTIA DOWNS A FIFTH OF APPLE CIDER, DANCES ON SOME TABLES, AND WAKES UP IN A STRANGE BED THE NEXT MORNING*

<PRINCESS CELESTIA>OH DEAR, WHAT WAS I DOING LAST NIGHT?

<APPLE FRITTER>DON'T ASK ME, YOU WERE THE ONE PULLING THE REIGNS ON AND SHOUTING 'GIDDY UP!'

[Mr PONYMANIA Mr Jenzie]

and let's another match shall we, as we return to ponyville elementary for some tricky sums ..... and some slapstick comedy!

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}
MEANWHILE AT THE SCHOOLHOUSE, IT'S AFTER LUNCH AND THE CHILDREN ARE READY FOR ANOTHER AFTERNOON OF TEACHING .....

<CHEERILEE>WELL CHILDREN, WASN'T THAT AN EXCITING MORNING OF ANIMAL ANTICS, AND WE'VE ALMOST GOT RID OF THEM FROM THE AIR DUCTS .....

*INSIDE ONE OF THE AIR DUCTS IS OPALESCENCE, THE DELIGHTFUL AND CALM CAT, AND FLUTTERSHY IS TRYING TO REMOVE HER WITHOUT A FUSS*

<FLUTTERSHY>I FEEL LIKE A TV DINNER. *OPALESCENCE THROWS A CLAWED PAW*

<CHEERILEE>SO NOW THEN, WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE, IT LOOKS LIKE A .....

<SCOOTALOO>*YAWNS* IT IT A TALKING CLOCK?

<TWIST>WE'VE ALREADY DONE THAT SKIT SCOOTALOO.

<SCOOTALOO>YES I KNOW I WAS BEING SARCASTIC ..... WAIT WHAT, THE ASK JEEVES IS A SKIT???

<CHEERILEE>TWIST IS RIGHT, WE HAVE ALREADY DID THAT THIS MORNING, BUT THIS IS AFTERNOON, AND TODAY I HAVE THIS SPECIAL SURPRISE FOR YOU ALL.

<SNIPS>OH I HOPE IT'S TEST.

<SCOOTALOO>WHY WOULD YOU HOPE FOR THAT?

<DINKY DOO>BECAUSE WE HAVE TO MAKE SURE WE ALL LEARN THAT STUFF, YOU KNOW, WHY DO WE ALL GO TO SCHOOL FOR?

<SCOOTALOO>TO BE THE BEST RAINBOW DASH CLUB MEMBER EVER?

<DINKY DOO>NO I .....

<SNIPS>TO BE THE SLIMMER VERSION OF TRUFFLE?

<TRUFFLE>BIG BONED YOU JERKS!

<DINKY DOO>I MEANT TO SAY .....

<TWIST>OHH OHH I KNOW MISS CHEERILEE, TO BE THE BEST STUDENT IN THE SCHOOL. *SMILES SMUGLY*

<CHEERILEE>THAT'S RIGHT TWIST, IT'S TO BE YOUR VERY BEST, AND TO GET YOURSELVES GOOD JOBS AND EARN SOME GOOD BITS ..... PERHAPS EVEN BECOME A SCHOOL TEACHER IN THE FUTURE?

<TWIST>*SMILES MORE SMUGLY*

<DINKY DOO>SHOW OFF.

<CHEERILEE>HOWEVER CHILDREN, TO FULLY REACH YOUR POTENTIAL IN THE PONY WORLD WE HAVE TO TAKE THIS *PULLS OUT A LOAD OF PAPERS* THIS HERE MATHEMATICS TEST!

*THE CLASS GROANS COLLECTIVELY, EXCEPT SNIPS*

<CHEERILEE>NOW PLEASE TAKE ONE OF THESE TESTS AND WAIT UNTIL I GIVE THE SIGNAL TO START.

<SCOOTALOO>OH GOODY, A TEST, JUST WHAT I WANTED TO BE DOING.

<TWIST>WELL SCOOTALOO, IF YOU DON'T LEARN, YOU WON'T LEARN NOTHING.

<CHEERILEE>THAT'S ACTUALLY SOME GOOD ADVICE TWIST, IN A ROUNDABOUT WAY I SUPPOSE, LEARNING IS VERY IMPORTANT ..... WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT, AND IS WHY WE GO TO SCHOOL FOR!

<DINKY DOO>SEE, I TOLD YOU.

<SCOOTALOO>GAH, I'M SURROUNDED BY BIG HEADS.

<CHEERILEE>*GLARES AT SCOOTALOO* NOW THAT ALL THE PAPERS ARE HANDED OUT, AND I'M SITTING DOWN NOW, YOU CAN ALL TURN OVER THE PAPERS AND START THE TEST ..... AND IF I HEAR A PEEP OUT OF ANY OF YOU ..... *SLOWLY TAKES OUT MR PADDLE* ..... AHH THIS TAKES ME BACK TO MY SCHOOL DAYS, ALL THAT MANE AND GLITTER, TOOK WEEKS TO GET MOST OF IT OUT. AND THIS *STROKES MR PADDLE* THIS WAS THE OLD EQUALISER FOR US BACK THEN, AND HEAVEN HELP US IF WE EVER FELL OUT OF PLACE, OUT THIS CAME AND WE'D ALL BE SILENT FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR. GOOD TIMES, GOOD TIMES ..... THE TEST CHILDREN, CARRY ON WITH THE TEST.

*CHEERILEE WALKS OUT OF THE CLASS AND PROCEEDS TO GO TO THE OLD TROPHY CABINET OF PONYVILLE SCHOOL AND VIEW THE MANY TROPHIES, PARTICULARLY THE BUCKBALL ONES, AND BEGINS TO REMINISCE*

<FLUTTERSHY>OH PLEASE OPAL PLEASE GET OUT OF THE AIR VENTS, OTHERWISE I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GAS THE PLACE, AND YOU WOULDN'T WANT THAT NOW?

*OPALESCENCE THINKS FOR A SECOND ABOUT THIS DILEMMA, WALKS UP TO FLUTTERSHY, AND PEES IN HER FACE*

<SCOOTALOO>FLIPPING NORA THIS TEST IS HARD, I'VE BARELY MADE IT PAST THE BABY STUFF, SERIOUSLY SNIPS HOW CAN YOU DO THIS?

<SNIPS>VERY EASILY, GET SOME BRAINS!

*THE CLASS LAUGHS, SCOOTALOO GROANS*

<SCOOTALOO>OKAY OKAY PEAKY BLINDER DON'T GET ALL LAIRY WITH ME FELLA.

<TWIST>THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING, YOU GOTTA BUTTON DOWN AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK.

<SCOOTALOO>BUT I'M THE HARD AND COOL ONE!

<DINKY DOO>BUT WILL THAT GET YOU A HIGH PAID JOB IN MANEHATTEN SCOOTALOO? WILL IT PAY THE BILLS? WHEN YOUR BABY IS SICK WHO'S GONNA PAY THE MEDICAL COSTS? OI ..... OI DIAMOND TIARA, YOUR PARENTS ARE HELLA RICH, HOW'D YOU DO IT?

<DIAMOND TIARA>*PUTTING ON FACIAL CAMOUFLAGE AND LIFTING WEIGHTS* EH WHAT, OH THAT, THAT'S EASY ..... BRING IN CHEAP LABOUR YAKS AND NEVER THINK ABOUT THE AUDITORS.

<DINKY DOO>AND THAT ANSWERS THE QUESTION ..... I THINK?

<SCOOTALOO>AND NOPE, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS, NO SCHOOL CAN MAKE ME DO A TEST!

<TWIST>EXCEPT THE ONE WE DID YESTERDAY AND YOU WERE TOP OF THE CLASS?

<SCOOTALOO>THAT WAS FOR COMPLICATED LANGUAGE STUDIES .....

<SNIPS>AND THE ONE LAST WEEK?

<SCOOTALOO>THE ONE FOR PARTICLE PHYSICS?

<DINKY DOO>AND THEN THERE'S THE FIRST ONE IN THIS SEMESTER?

<SCOOTALOO>HOW TO COMPLETE SERIOUSLY INVOLVING MAGIC AND NOT BLOW YOURSELF UP ..... YEAH, BUT THIS IS MATHS, AND I HATE MATHS!

<TWIST>BECAUSE YOU CAN'T DO IT?

<SCOOTALOO>HEY I CAN SO, JUST NOT THIS, WHAT EVER CAN I DO SO THAT I CAN PASS THIS TEST?

WHAT I TELL YOU

WHAT I .....

*RUMBLINGS UP IN THE AIR VENTS CAUSE THE STUDENTS TO SUDDENLY LOOK UP*

<SCOOTALOO>WISH I WAS A TV DINNER RIGHT ABOUT NOW.

<TWIST>HEY I KNOW HOW TO HELP SCOOTALOO, AND I MIGHT JUST BECOME AN E.W.E. CHAMPION TO BOOT!

<SNIPS>YOU MEAN ONLY HELP SCOOTALOO WITH MATHS?

<TWIST>AHH YEAH, I MEAN ONLY HELP SCOOTALOO WITH MATHS, WHY DON'T WE HAVE A MATHS TEST AT PONYMANIA6. AND WE GET EVERYPONY THERE TO SHOW SCOOTALOO HOW TO DO THINGS, AND TO HELP ALL OF US TOO, AND GET EVERYONE TO PASS THIS TEST.

<DINKY DOO>THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA THERE, WE ALL NEED A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS SOMETIMES, AND PONYVILLE IS FULL OF THEM.

<SCOOTALOO>AND LIFT THE COLLECTIVE IQ OF THE TOWN TOO, LOTS OF BRAINLESS EEJITS HERE *EVERYONE GRINS AND TURNS TO SCOOTALOO* WELL IT DOES TAKE INTELLIGENCE TO BECOME THE HEAD OF A WORLD WIDE FAN CLUB. AND TAKE THEIR MINDS OFF THAT STUPID SUGAR BAN .....

<TWIST>SO IT'S SETTLED THAT, AT PONYMANIA6 THE FOUR OF US WILL SIT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING, AND QUIETLY WRITE DOWN ANSWERS TO BASIC ARITHMETIC!

<SCOOTALOO>OKAY THEN, AND HOW ABOUT WE MAKE IT A BIT MORE ..... COMPETITIVE THEN TOO.

<DINKY DOO>HOW SO?

<SCOOTALOO>HOW ABOUT, WE DO THE TEST, AND IF YOU DON'T GET THE ANSWERS RIGHT ..... YOU GET ELIMINATED FROM THE CONTEST!

<TWIST>BRILLIANT IDEA SCOOTALOO, SO DOES THAT MEAN YOU'LL BE THE FIRST ONE GONE?

*THE WHOLE CLASS LAUGHS*

<SCOOTALOO>YEAH ..... ALSO TO BEAT YOU TO WINNING THAT NEW E.W.E. SCHOOLYARD BELT AS WELL, THEN HANG IT PROUDLY UP IN THE RAINBOW DASH CLUBHOUSE.

<TWIST>BRILLIANT IDEA THERE SCOO ..... HEY!

<SCOOTALOO>NOW WHO'S A SMARTY PANTS?

<SMARTY PANTS>WHO THE HELL IS CALLING MY NAME? OH FAUST, I GOTTA STOP SNIFFING THIS AJAX!

<SNIPS>SO WHEN MISS CHEEIRLEE COMES BACK, WE CAN TELL HER OF OUR IDEA, AND THEN SHE CAN LET US GO HOME EARLY AND NOT DO THIS TEST. AND WHEN PONYMANIA6 COMES AROUND WE ALL GO THERE AND DO IT THERE, AND THE WINNER BECOMES THE BRAND NEW E.W.E. SCHOOLYARD CHAMPION, HEH HOW ABOUT THAT?

OF COURSE IT'S GOING TO BE ME.

<TWIST>THE QUIET RIOT IT WILL, I'M THE ONE TAKING IT HOME.

<DINKY DOO>HEY, I MAY BE THE OFFSPRING OF A CROSS EYED NINCOMPOOP AND A FILTHY ANIMAL, BUT IT'S GONNA BE ME WHO WINS THAT BELT!

<SCOOTALOO>IT'S HANGING IN THE CUTIE MARKS CRUSADERS CLUBHOUSE .....

*AND AS THE ARGUMENT CONTINUES, CHEERILEE FINISHES REMINISCING ABOUT HER OWN SCHOOL DAYS*

<CHEERILEE>I MISS FILTHY RICH, AFTER ALL THIS TIME I REALLY DO, WHY DID I EVER LEAVE HIM ..... OH YES, I REMEMBER, IT WAS BECAUSE OF .....

*BUT SHE HAS NO TIME TO FINISH THAT SCANDALOUS STATEMENT, AS THE AIR VENT OVER THE CLASSROOM HAS GIVEN UP, AND HAS CRASHED DOWN*

<CHEERILEE>*RUNS INTO THE WRECKED CLASSROOM* WHAT THE HELL CHILDREN, WHAT THE HELL!!!

*SUDDENLY A WHITE CAT RUNS OUT OF THE WRECKED VENT, AND FLUTTERSHY STAGGERS OUT*

<FLUTTERSHY>WELL, I GOT THE CAT OUT, NOW I NEED TO LIE DOWN FOR A BIT.

*AND FLUTTERSHY FALLS HEADFIRST INTO THE BLACKBOARD*

<DIAMOND TIARA>MEH, THAT PONY DON'T HAVE NO STAMINA! *CONTINUES TO SQUELCH GRAPES UNDER HOOF AND EAT COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF PIES*

oh i was gonna redo this one, since they are a bit too low, but nevermind ..... damn well not doing anymore for another year

[Mr PONYMANIA Mr Jenzie]

and we'll finish this section of PONYMANIA6 with another dance sensation!

get your lycra pulled up and over your paunches
those stupid deely boppers on your head
and as soon as you turn your knee 0.1 degrees in either direction, you've been carted off the A&E!!!

and it was the first song i wanted to have, last years smash hit .....

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}


THAT'S MY PONE
(SUNG TO THE TUNE OF FIFTH HARMONY – THAT'S MY GIRL)

*DJ-PON3*
WHO'S BEEN PLAYING SO VERY HARD
YOU GOT THAT HORSEHEAD ON OVERFLOW
GOT YOURSELF THAT FLAWLESS FLANKAGE
ACHING NOW FROM HORN TO SHOE
AIN'T NOTHING, AIN'T NOTHING
ALL MY MARES 'ROUND THE WORLD
AIN'T NOTHING, AIN'T NOTHING
GOOD FILLIES BETTER BE BAD

*OCTAVIA*
YOU'VE BEEN DOWN BEFORE
YOU'VE GOT HURT BEFORE
YOU GOT UP BEFORE
YOU'LL BE GOOD TO TROT, GOOD TO TROT

*DJ-PON3*
DESTINY SAID IT, YOU GOT TO GET UP AND PLAY IT
GET MAD WARM BLOODED AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT
GOT SOME DIRT IN YOUR MANE
THEN LET ME BRUSH IT OUT FOR YA
IF YOUR FEELING ME, PUT YOUR HOOFS HIGH
THAT'S MY PONE

*DJ-PON3 AND OCTAVIA*
THAT'S MY PONE
THAT'S MY PONE
THAT'S MY PONE

*OCTAVIA*
WHAT YOU GALLOP, WHAT YOU GALLOP, WHAT YOU GALLOPING FOR?

*DJ-PON3 AND OCTAVIA*
THAT'S MY PONE
THAT'S MY PONE
THAT'S MY PONE

*OCTAVIA*
AIN'T NOTHIN, AIN'T NOTHING, AIN'T NOTHING
PUT YOUR BOW AND YOUR SPIN ON IT
AIN'T NOTHIN, AIN'T NOTHING, AIN'T NOTHING
PUT YOUR BOW AND YOUR SPIN ON IT

*DJ-PON3 AND OCTAVIA*
THAT'S MY PONE
THAT'S MY PONE
THAT'S MY PONE

*PINKIE PIE PLAYS OUTRO ON HER BANJO/ACCORDION/TROMBONE/HARMONICA AND DOES A SILLY DANCE*

we'll see you after the break.

[Alyce: Old Media Enthusiast]

[Mr PONYMANIA Mr Jenzie]

and as we leave one NIGHTMARE ..... we stare into the abyss of another .....

now the real PONYMANIA6 begins!

and as the ponystars get bigger, so do the stakes!

and some big idiot is about to get herself in a whole heap of trouble!!!

my first story idea and i knew exactly how i was going to do it, it was a hoot to do ..... and i didn't copy ANYTHING GOT IT

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}{Spoiler}
MEANWHILE AT E.W.E. TOWERS .....

*E.W.E. MOONLIGHT COMMISSIONER LUNA IS SITTING AT HER DESK BEING BUSY WHEN THE DOOR GOES ..... WHERE IT GOES IS ANYONE'S GUESS!*

<FORMER E.W.E. CHAMPION GILDA>HEY, IT'S ME. KNOCK KNOCK. SO, UH YOU GOT, UH, YOU GOT MY MATCH AT PONYMANIA6?

<E.W.E. MOONLIGHT COMMISSIONER LUNA>HUH? OH YEAH, I'LL GIVE YOU ONE SOON.

<FORMER E.W.E. CHAMPION GILDA>YEAH, WELL, UM HERE'S A SUGGESTION. UM, HAVE MY MATCH BY TOMORROW AND THERE WON'T BE ANY PROBLEMS.

<E.W.E. MOONLIGHT COMMISSIONER LUNA>HUH?

<FORMER E.W.E. CHAMPION GILDA>YEAH, 24 HOURS.

<E.W.E. MOONLIGHT COMMISSIONER LUNA>WHY, WHAT-WHAT HAPPENS IN 24 HOURS?

<FORMER E.W.E. CHAMPION GILDA>HUH? I DUNNO, I'M NOT A SAD GRIFFIN SCONE MAKER, I'M JUST SAYING IT WOULD BE PROBABLY BE BETTER IF YOU HAD MY PONYMANIA6 MOMENT TOMORROW.

<E.W.E. MOONLIGHT COMMISSIONER LUNA>UH, YEAH, ALRIGHT, I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.

<FORMER E.W.E. CHAMPION GILDA>SWEET, SWEET, GREAT. UH, HOW'S EVERYTHING GOING?

<E.W.E. MOONLIGHT COMMISSIONER LUNA>GOOD.

<FORMER E.W.E. CHAMPION GILDA>ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT. SEE YOU LATER. DON'T FORGET! NAH, YOU'RE NOT GONNA FORGET.

*AND FORMER E.W.E. CHAMPION GILDA LEAVES, YEAH UM, JUST LIKE THAT.*

<E.W.E. MOONLIGHT COMMISSIONER LUNA>PFFT, WHAT IS THAT FLAPPY BIRD ON ABOUT, GOING TO BE RATHER DISAPPOINTED WHEN SHE FINDS OUT SHE DOESN'T HAVE A MATCH AT PONYMANIA6! NAH SHE'LL BE FINE

*SHE SIPS CARROT JUICE OUT OF HER FAVOURITE GLASS, A COMEDY SHAPED CARROT GLASS SHE GOT FROM THE TRADERS EXCHANGE, FOR A COPY OF KING SOMBRA'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY CALLED 'WHERE DID I GO WRONG?'*

.....

MEANWHILE ONTO THE NEXT DAY AT CANTERLOT .....

<E.W.E. MOONLIGHT COMMISSIONER LUNA>*COMING OUT OF THE SHOWER, HER MANE CONTINUES TO SWIRL STARS FOR SOME REASON, AND OPENS DOOR* MAN THAT CONDITIONER THAT CELESTIA GAVE ME REALLY DID THE TRICK, MAKE IT'S ALL SMOOTH AND STARRY ..... FORMER E.W.E. CHAMPION GILDA? YH HEY.

<FORMER E.W.E. CHAMPION GILDA>HEY THERE. SO, UH, IT'S BEEN 24 HOURS. GOT MY PONYMANIA6 MATCH?

<E.W.E. MOONLIGHT COMMISSIONER LUNA>AH ... YOU KNOW WHAT ..... HAVE YOU BEEN STANDING THERE ALL THIS TIME *PULLS UP TOWEL* JUST GIVE ME TILL FRIDAY, I'LL HAVE IT FOR YOU.

<FORMER E.W.E. CHAMPION GILDA>OH. OH, THAT'S FUNNY, I COULD'VE SWORE I SAID HAVE IT TODAY.

<E.W.E. MOONLIGHT COMMISSIONER LUNA>YEAH, I DIDN'T SCHEDULE A TRIPLE PONY MATCH FOR IT, SORRY.

<FORMER E.W.E. CHAMPION GILDA>OH, WELL, ALRIGHT THEN. *DRINKS CARROT JUICE FROM COMEDY CARROT SHAPED GLASS* MMM, THAT'S GOOD C.J. *SMASHES COMEDY CARROT SHAPED GLASS ON LUNA'S HEAD*

<E.W.E. MOONLIGHT COMMISSIONER LUNA>AAARGH! MY COMEDY CARROT SHAPED GLASS! ALSO AAARGHH!!

<FORMER E.W.E. CHAMPION GILDA>YEAH, THAT HURT?

<E.W.E. MOONLIGHT COMMISSIONER LUNA>AARGH!

<FORMER E.W.E. CHAMPION GILDA>THAT HURT?

<E.W.E. MOONLIGHT COMMISSIONER LUNA>WHAT THE PLOT?! *CONTINUES YELLING AND LAMENTING LOSS OF COMEDY CARROT SHAPED GLASS*

<FORMER E.W.E. CHAMPION GILDA>YEAH, THAT DON'T FEEL SO GOOD, DOES IT? NO, HUH? *HOOFS LUNA IN THE FACE* YEAH, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS, HORSE!

<E.W.E. MOONLIGHT COMMISSIONER LUNA>OH, MY FAUST!

<FORMER E.W.E. CHAMPION GILDA>YEAH, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS. *HOOFS LUNA IN THE FACE AGAIN* WHERE'S MY PONYMANIA6 MATCH?! YOU GONNA GIVE ME MY PONYMANAI6 MOMENT? WHERE'S MY PONYMANIA6 MATCH, HORSE?! *LUNA COUGHS UP A SCARY NIGHTMARE NIGHT SPIDER, UM, AND NO ONE KNOWS HOW IT GOT THERE! I MEAN, THERE IS AN ART OF KEEPING A SECRET AFTER ALL .....

*PIPSQUEAK TUGS AT MY LEG*

<PIPSQUEAK>I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T GONNA TELL THEM ABOUT ME AND LUNA .....

<MR JENZIE> ..... NO ONE KNOWS PIPSQUEAK, NOW PIPE DOWN!

AS I WAS SAYING .....

<FORMER E.W.E. CHAMPION GILDA>*GILDA GETS TOWEL RACK, CONTINUOUSLY HITS LUNA WITH IT* WHERE'S MY PONYMANIA6 MATCH, HORSE?! *GILDA HOLDS LUNA'S HEAD IN THE TOILET WATER, THE CONDITIONER RUNS OFF AND HER MANE BECOMES ALL FLAT AND SMOOSHED, LUNA SCREAMS AT HER BEAUTIFUL STARRY MANE ALL RUBBISHED AND GILDA TAKES HER OUT THE TOILET* WHERE'S THE PONYMANIA6 MATCH, HORSE, WHERE'S MY PONYMANIA6 MATCH?! YOU GOT TILL FIVE O'CLOCK. YOU HEAR ME?! YOU GOT TILL 5 O'CLOCK!

<E.W.E. MOONLIGHT COMMISSIONER LUNA>YOU FREAKIN' WINGED PSYCHOPATH!

*GILDA WIPES HER TALONS WITH LUNA'S FAVOURITE TOWEL WITH A PICTURE OF LUNA AND FLUTTERSHY ON IT, BOTH THROWING UP GANG SIGNS, THEN TOSSES IT OVER LUNA'S MASHED MANE ALL FLAT ON THE FLOOR*

<FORMER E.W.E. CHAMPION GILDA>YEAH, CLEAN YOURSELF UP.

<E.W.E. MOONLIGHT COMMISSIONER LUNA>*GROANS*

.....

MEANWHILE ANOTHER DAY PASSES AND WE'RE BACK AT E.W.E. TOWERS .....

<E.W.E. MOONLIGHT COMMISSIONER LUNA>THAT FLIPPING DIRTY BIRD BETTER NOT BE AROUND HERE TODAY, THOSE WERE SOME VERY UN-PC TYPE BEATINGS SHE GAVE ME, IT TOOK ME AGES TO GET MY MANE BACK UP AND RUNNING ..... HAD TO REINSTALL IT AND EVERYTHING ..... PAIN IN THE BUTT .....

<FORMER E.W.E. CHAMPION GILDA>*WALKS PAST WHISTLING*

<E.W.E. MOONLIGHT COMMISSIONER LUNA>OH DRAT AND DOUBLE DRAT, THERE SHE IS! *DESPERATELY LOOKS BACK INTO HER OFFICE FOR SOMETHING TO DISGUISE HERSELF WITH* AHH HERE'S SOMETHING, SHE'LL NEVER NOTICE!

*GILDA IS FOR SOME REASON PLAYING PRETEND GOLF IN THE E.W.E. TOWERS CORRIDOR, POTENTIALLY A HEALTH AND SAFETY ISSUE THERE. LUNA WALKS OUT INCOGNITO.*

<E.W.E. MOONLIGHT COMMISSIONER LUNA>*INCOGNITO* MORNIN'.

<FORMER E.W.E. CHAMPION GILDA>GOOD DAY TO YOU, TWILIGHT. WAIT A MINUTE! WHAT THE CRACKLE?!

<E.W.E. MOONLIGHT COMMISSIONER LUNA>OH-H-H-H- *GILDA PUSHES LUNA DOWN THE STAIRS* AAARGH! OW-OW-OW-UGH! OHH ... *THEN GILDA HITS LUNA ON THE HEAD WITH THE GOLF CLUB, ONCE AGAIN, HAVE NO IDEA WHY SHE HAD ONE* ARGH!

<FORMER E.W.E. CHAMPION GILDA>GETTING REAL TIRED OF YOU DUCKIN' ME, HORSE!

<E.W.E. MOONLIGHT COMMISSIONER LUNA>OH, MY FAUST!

<FORMER E.W.E. CHAMPION GILDA>YEAH, GETTING REAL TIRED. HUH?

<E.W.E. MOONLIGHT COMMISSIONER LUNA>OGH! ARG-ARGH!

<FORMER E.W.E. CHAMPION GILDA>WHERE'S MY PONYMANIA6 MATCH?! WHERE'S MY PONYMANIA6 MOMENT?! YOU GOT BITS FOR FAKE TWILIGHT FACES, HUH? YEAH, HUH? HOW MUCH DID IT YOU PAY FOR THAT FAKE TWILIGHT FACE?

<E.W.E. MOONLIGHT COMMISSIONER LUNA>FOUR BITS. *GILDA THROWS A ROCK HARD GRIFFIN SCONE AT HER LEG* AAARGH!

<FORMER E.W.E. CHAMPION GILDA>DON'T MAKE A FEATHERED FOOL OUT OF ME, HORSE, DON'T MAKE A FEATHERED FOOL OUT OF ME. I WANT MY PONYMANIA6 MATCH. I WANT MY PONYMANIA6 MOMENT, HORSE!

<E.W.E. MOONLIGHT COMMISSIONER LUNA>LISTEN, GILDA, THIS IS CRAZY, YOU'RE ... OH MY FAUST! *GILDA SHOOTS HER SPACEBALLS FLAMETHROWER AT LUNA* AAARRRGGHHH! AAAGGHH-AGHH..! *THE FLAME EXTINGUISHES ITSELF, RUBBISH MEL BROOKS TAT!* ALL RIGHT THEN, I'LL GIVE YOU A MATCH AT PONYMANIA6 .....

<FORMER E.W.E. CHAMPION GILDA>ABOUT TIME TOO, I'M A FORMER CHAMPION YOU IDIOT! SO WHO'S THE DAFT MARE THAT I'LL BE MAKING THEIR FACE INTO MUSH THEN?

<E.W.E. MOONLIGHT COMMISSIONER LUNA>HEHE .....HE ..... NIGHTMARE MOON!!!

SILENCE, COMPLETE SILENCE, AS THAT LOW BLOW QUIETENS THE PLACE. E.W.E. MOONLIGHT COMMISSIONER LUNA STARTS TO LAUGH MANICALLY, AND GILDA JUST STANDS THERE LOOKING STUPID AS USUAL .....

AND A LITTLE BIT OF WEE COMES OUT!

[Mr PONYMANIA Mr Jenzie]

we're only four matches from the end, and the doozies just keep coming!
and i ain't saying no more about them
i'd get comfortable if i were you!

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}
MEANWHILE THAT BEAUTIFUL DAY IN CANTERLOT IS STILL GOING ON .....

*ON THEIR WAY TO THE LOCAL OBSERVATORY TO SEE IF THEY CAN SPOT THE LATEST CALAMITY ASTEROID THAT SOME LITTLE GIT HAS DISCOVERED, THE GREATEST STUDENT EVER AND FAMOUS ROYAL PRINCESS TWILIGHT 'DON'T CALL ME CRAZY' SPARKLE, RIDES HER BICYCLE ALONG WITH HER FRIENDS. ON HER HEADPHONES THERE SINGS A SONG BY BARLEY MAGICRAY BARKEY, THE SEMI-FAMOUS SINGER WIZARD DOGCAT, AND TWILIGHT WONDERS WHY .....

<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>UGH, WHY DID I EVER PLAY THIS SONG!

*THROWS OFF HEADPHONES*

<MINUETTE/TWINKLESHINE/MOONDANCER>*IN A TOTALLY ANNOYING SINGING SOUND* WE ARE THE SUPERFIENDS!!!

<SPIKE>UGH IT'S SUPERFRIENDS YOU DOLTS!

<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>AHH, THAT'S WHY.

<TWINKLESHINE>SO LIKE TWILY, WHAT ARE WE GETTING LEMON HEARTS FOR A 'WELL DONE IN WINNING THE SUNSHINE TITLE' PRESENT? A BRAND NEW TELESCOPE? SOME NEW SCIENTIST UNIFORM? A QUEEZANAUT?

<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>I THOUGHT LONG AND HARD ABOUT THIS, AND I CAME UP WITH THE PERFECT GIFT FOR OUR WINNING TEAM MATE .....

*SUDDENLY THE SHOT CHANGES TO INSIDE THE GIFT SHOP OF THE OBSERVATORY, AND STILL INEXPLICABLY SITTING ON THEIR BICYCLES*

<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>MY SIGNED AUTOBIOGRAPHY CALLED 'ME AND PRINCESS CELESTIA - IT'S TIME TO DO THE MAGICS!'

<SPIKE>MIGHT AS WELL GIVE HER HER A PUNCH ON THE HORN INSTEAD.

<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>SHUT UP SPIKE, IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS.

<MINUETTE>EXACTLY! AND THIS IS WHY I ALSO HAVE A GIFT FOR HER WHEN SHE STANDS TRIUMPHANT .....

<MOONDANCER>BATMAN'S HERE?!?

<MINUETTE>NOPE.

<SPIKE>OH, IS IT A TOOTHBRUSH MINUETTE? WHAT A SURPRISE THAT WOULD BE.

<MINUETTE>OF COURSE IT ISN'T A TOOTHBRUSH SILLY, AND WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS THINKING I HAVE SOME WEIRD ENAMEL FETISH, YA LITTLE GREEN SPLAT YOU *MINUETTE RUFFLES SPIKES, MUCH TO THE DRAGON'S DELIGHT*

<SPIKE>GET OFF ME YOU FREAK!

<MINUETTE>*GIRLY GIGGLE*

<TWINKLESHINE>HEY TWILY, HOW ABOUT THIS, A PICTURE OF ALL OF US ..... GIVING HER THE THUMBS UP, OR SOMETHING.

<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>THAT'S AN EVEN BETTER IDEA, THANKS *SQUEES*

<SPIKE>UH, YOU DO KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE ANY THU ...

*SUDDENLY AND WITHOUT ANY PREREQUISITE BACK STORY, STARLIGHT GLIMMER APPEARS, CARRYING A RATHER LARGE BAG*

<STARLIGHT GLIMMER>OH ..... HELLO TWILIGHT.

*EVERYONE GOES QUIET*

<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>HELLO ..... STARLIGHT.

*BOTH STARE AT EACH OTHER AND NARROW THEIR EYES*

<STARLIGHT GLIMMER>AND HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY, TWILIGHT?

<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>I AM DOING ..... FINE TODAY ..... AND YOU?

<STARLIGHT GLIMMER>PERFECTLY FINE ..... BLEW UP ANY LIBRARIES RECENTLY?

<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>HEY THAT'S A FILTHY LIE AND YOU KNOW IT!

<STARLIGHT GLIMMER>AHH BLAHBLAHBLAH, I DON'T HAVE TIME TO CONVERSE WITH YOU RIGHT NOW, I HAVE AN IMPORTANT FRIENDSHIP LESSON TO ATTEND TOO! AND IT'S WITH ..... DA DA DA DAAAAH ..... PRINCESS CELESTIA!!!

<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>WHAT?

<STARLIGHT GLIMMER>AHA, THAT'S RIGHT MISS LITTLE SPARKLY POO, AND I'M HERE TO GET HER A GIFT TOO!

<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>WHATWHAT!!

<STARLIGHT GLIMMER>HEHE, SO I THOUGHT I'D BRING HER A NICE LITTLE 'THANK YOU' FOR TEACHING ME HOW TO BE ..... THE BEST FRIEND EVER!

<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>WHATWHATWHAT!!! HOW CAN YOU ..... I MEAN ..... HOW ..... I'M THE BESTEST FRIENDSHIP THING IN PONYVILLE, HOW CAN THAT BE POSSIBLE?

<STARLIGHT GLIMMER>SIMPLE MY TEENY WEE HORNSTER ..... I'M BETTER THAN YOU!!!

<SPIKE>HAH!

<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>NO ..... NOOOOOO, THAT'S NOT TRUE ..... THAT'S IMPOSSIBE!!!*NOTE, NOT A SPELLING ERROR!*

<STARLIGHT GLIMMER>SEARCH YOUR NERDINESS, YOU KNOW IT TO BE TRUE!

<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>I BLEEDING WILL NOT, IN FACT, SOD THE PICTURE ..... I HAVE AN EVEN BETTER IDEA!

<SPIKE>OOH.

<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>SINCE OUR VERY GOOD FRIEND LEMON HEARTS WILL BE SUNSHINE CHAMPION AT PONYMANIA6, WHY NOT CROWN ANOTHER CHAMPION ..... ONE THAT WILL LAST FOREVER!!!

<MOONDANCER>BATMAN IS HERE ..... HE IS HERE ISN'T HE?

<TWINKLESHINE>OH IS MR JENZIE WRITING A SEQUEL TO TIME BOOM? OR FINISH HIS OTHER STORY HE STARTED .....

<SPIKE>DOUBLE HAH!!

<MINUETTE>TEETH!

*THEY ALL LOOK AT MINUETTE*

<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>HOW ABOUT THIS MISS SMARTY PANTS .....

*MANY MANY MILES AWAY SMARTY PANTS EARS PRICK UP*

<SMARTY PANTS>HMM, THOUGHT I HEARD MY NAME FOR A MOMENT THERE ..... NAH.

*GOES BACK TO READING THE NEW MANHATTENER*

<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>YOU BRING THREE OF YOUR VERY BEST FRIENDS, AND I BRING THREE OF MY VERY BEST FRIENDS, AND WE FACE EACH OTHER IN .....

THE ULTIMATE FRIENDSHIP CHALLENGE!!!

*GASPS ALL AROUND*

<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>THE RULES ARE SIMPLE, WELL THEY ARE FOR YOU GLIMMY GLUEGLUE WHATEVER *STARLIGHT GROWLS* ME AND YOU WILL FACE OFF IN THE PONYMANIA6 RODEO RING, AND MAKE FRIENDS ..... WITH EACH OTHERS!!!

<STARLIGHT GLIMMER>I WELL YEAH SO MAYBE WHAT .....

<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>AHA! I KNEW IT, YOU DON'T HAVE THE LADY GEMS DO YOU?

<STARLIGHT GLIMMER>HOW VERY DARE YOU, I HAVE BIGGER LADY GEMS THAN ALL THE DIAMOND DOGS PUT TOGETHER!

<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>OKAY THEN ..... PRESENT THEM?

<STARLIGHT GLIMMER>OOOOHH, OKAY YOU ARE ON! I'LL BRING THREE OF MY VERY BESTEST FRIENDS TO PONYMANIA6, AND WE'LL SEE WHO IS ..... THE ULTIMATE FRIENDSHIP CHALLENGE CHAMPION!

<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>GOOD!

<STARLIGHT GLIMMER>GOOD!

<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>GOOOOOOD!

<STARLIGHT GLIMMER>GOOOOOOOO .....

<SPIKE>GET ON WITH IT!!!

<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>I'LL SEE YOU AT PONYMANIA6 .....

<STARLIGHT GLIMMER>I'LL SEE YOU AT PONYMANIA6 .....

*SPIKE BANGS HIS HEAD ON THE WALL*

<STARLIGHT GLIMMER>OH BY THE WAY, WE'RE STILL ON FOR SAVING EQUESTRIA FROM THE LEAGUE OF SUPER EVILDOERS LATER THIS WEEK? (THE LEAGUE OF SUPER EVIL DOERS OR L.O.S.ERS, CONSIST OF A MISTER ARBMOS (WHO NEEDS A NEW HEART), A MISTER T.REK (THE STRAW CENTAUR), THE ANDROID D.I.S.C.O.R.D. AND OF COURSE THEIR PET APEDOGMONKEYTRANSFORMER AHUIZOTL) *LOOKS AT REBECCA DART*

<REBECCA DART>WHAT? I GOT PAID PEANUTS TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING, SO I THREW IT ALL TOGETHER SOMEHOW .....

<SPIKE>YES THANK YOU FOR TELLING US SOMETHING THAT WON'T BE WRITTEN ABOUT *UNDER HIS BREATH* ABOUT AS MUCH CHANCE AS THOSE F.A.N. FORUM DOLTS GETTING SOMETHING WRITTEN .....

<STARLIGHT GLIMMER>OH, OH WE'RE BACK ARE WE? OKAY THEN, BACK TO THE STORY THEN .....

<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>*CHECKS SCRIPT* AH YES, YES WE ARE, SAVE THE WORLD AND SO FORTH.

<STARLIGHT GLIMMER>PONYMANIA6 ..... ULTIMATE FRIENDSHIP CHALLENGE .....

<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>YES!

<STARLIGHT GLIMMER>YES!!

<PRINCESS "TWILIGHT" SPARKLE>GOOD!

<STARLIGHT GLIMMER>GOOOOOOD .....

<SPIKE>*BRINGS UP MOBILE PHONE UP TO HIS EAR* HELLO HASBRO, YEAH I'D LIKE TO RENEGOTIATE MY CONTRACT PLEASE .....

we're through the looking glass here people .....

[Mr PONYMANIA Mr Jenzie]

and it's our final song at PONYMANIA6
suitably i left the best until last

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}


HORSE CANTOUR
(SUNG TO THE TUNE OF LADY GAGA - APPLAUSE)

*COUNTESS COLORATURA PLAYS PIANO*
I'VE OVERHEARD YOUR THEORY, NOSTALGA'S FOR BRONYS
I GUESS SIR, IF YOU SAY SO, SOME OF US JUST LIKE TO BRUSH
ONE SECOND I'M A G1, THEN SUDDENLY THE G1 IS ME
PONY CULTURE WAS IN ART, NOW ART AND PONY CULTURE IN ME

I LIVE FOR THE HORSE CANTOUR, CANTOUR, CANTOUR
I LIVE FOR THE HORSE HORSE, CANTOUR CANTOUR, HORSE HORSE, CANTOUR CANTOUR
WAY THAT YOU NEIGH AND WHINNY FOR ME
THE HORSE CANTOUR, CANTOUR, CANTOUR.

*COUNTESS COLORATURA STANDS UP AND TROTS ABOUT THE STAGE*
GIVE ME THE THING THAT I LOVE (I'LL TURN THE RIDE OFF)
PUT YOUR HOOVES UP MAKE THEM CLOP, CLOP (MAKE IT REAL LOUD)
GIVE ME THE THING THAT I LOVE (I'LL TURN THE RIDE OFF)
PUT YOUR HOOVES UP MAKE THEM CLOP, CLOP (MAKE IT REAL LOUD)

(H-O-R-S-E-C-A-N-T-E-R) MAKE IT REAL LOUD
PUT YOUR HOOVES UP MAKE THEM CLOP, CLOP (MAKE IT REAL LOUD)
(H-O-R-S-E-C-A-N-T-E-R) MAKE IT REAL LOUD
PUT YOUR HOOVES UP MAKE THEM CLOP, CLOP (MAKE IT REAL LOUD)

A-R-T-P-O-N-Y

[Mr PONYMANIA Mr Jenzie]

and now, the most controversial match in PONYMANIA6 HISTORY!!!

yes it's that dumb

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}
MEANWHILE BACK IN TIME TO THE PONY RUMBLE AGAIN .....

<MAYOR MARE>YES, I'M GOING TO WIN THE PONY RUMBLE, THIS IS MY YARD ..... *GET'S ELIMINATED*

<GABBY>GET A-STEPPING TO THE LOCKERS OLD KNACKERED PONY, IT'S NOW MY YARD!

<MAYOR MARE>WHY, OF ALL THE LOW DOWN DIRTY TRICKS TO USE ON A FRAIL DEFENSELESS HORSE, YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!

<GABBY>HA, IN PONY WRESTLING THERE IS NO DEMOCRACY, ONLY MY SUPERMARE TALON PUNCH!

<MAYOR MARE>WELL YOU WEREN'T VOTED IN WERE YOU?

<GABBY>OH I THOUGHT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT YOUR LAST ELECTION CAMPAIGN, NOT THAT YOU WERE JUST STANDING THERE, SO I WINGED YOU OUT.

*MAYOR MARE FUMES AT THE MOUTHY GRIFFIN AS SHE SWANS ABOUT THE RING IN TRIUMPH*

.....

*THE CROWD WAITS PATIENTLY FOR A SPECIAL CEREMONY FOR THE MAYOR, WHO'S RUNNING AGAIN FOR THE 83RD TIME*

<MAYOR MARE>MY FELLOW PONYVILLIANS, AT THE PONY RUMBLE I WAS ELIMINATED BY SOME SORT OF GIANT TURKEY, BUT LET ME MAKE THIS VERY CLEAR ..... IT WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN! SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, I WILL SIGN THIS EXECUTIVE ORDER ..... BANNING ALL NON-HORSE CREATURES FROM PONYVILLE!

*THE CROWD STARTS TO MURMUR*

<MAYOR MARE>FROM THIS DAY FORTH, PONYVILLE IS A ONE-HORSE TOWN .....

*BOOS REIGN DOWN ON THE APPROACHING GABBY*

<GABBY>WHAT WHAAAAAAT! *SHE STEPS NEXT TO MAYOR MARE ON THE PODIUM* I'M NOT A BAD GRIFFIN, I'M NOT A GOOD GRIFFIN, I'M THE GRIFFIN ..... OF THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!

<MAYOR MARE>MAKE EQUESTRIA HORSE AGAIN!

*SUDDENLY MAYOR MARE GRABS THE GRIFFIN BY THE CHOPS, LIFTS HER UP HIGH IN THE AIR, AND DRIVES HER THROUGH THE PODIUM!*

<MAYOR MARE>NOW THAT'S HOW TO SORT OUT THE FILING!

*THE CROWD START CHEERING AND CHANTING M-E-H-A M-E-H-A M-E-H-A, AS NURSE REDHEART AND DOCTOR HORSE STRETCHER THE UNFORTUNATE BIRD BRAIN AWAY*

<GABBY>I'LL SEE ..... SEE YOU AT PON ..... PONYMANIA6, YOU PINK HAIRED SQUAKER *UGH*