Renslayer
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
every time i come around your city...
Posts: 17,370
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Post by Renslayer on May 6, 2017 13:51:31 GMT -5
Bruhhhh. I could've gone my whole life without having the visual of Vince & Linda having sex in the MSG stands. Also, if they get to the 2000s, include the Plane Ride from Hell!
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Perd
Patti Mayonnaise
Leslie needs to butt out for fear of receiving The Bunghole Buster
Posts: 32,444
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Post by Perd on May 6, 2017 13:57:38 GMT -5
The ladies want the Hulkster up their butt. This would've been the greatest film ever made.
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Post by golding on May 6, 2017 14:30:14 GMT -5
I don't want this in my life. I want this to be my life.
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Post by Hit Girl on May 6, 2017 14:43:19 GMT -5
TITAN: The Vince McMahon Story
An elderly, dying Vince McMahon lays in bed, in his palatial mansion Xanadu, mumbling to himself.
Vince McMahon was born in 1945 1960, of the finest stock, willed into existence by his father Vince McMahon Senior and a wealthy socialite. He grew up in Stamford, Connecticut which was founded in 1765 by Stamford B. McMahon, an Irish immigrant who promoted wrestling entertainment events in County Cork before he was exiled for stealing the king's swans.
Young Vince grew up learning the fine art of sports entertainment by observing the legendary champions such as Gorgeous George and Matt Classic, was educated at Harvard where he graduated mega cum laude where he caught the eye of a beautiful young college activist named Linda Bouvier. Vince resisted hormonal urges (for a while) and focused with laser sharp precision on his goal, to be the greatest wrestling promoter entertainment mogul in the world, surpassing the likes of Cecil B DeMille, Walt Disney, and Arthur Paramount.
The defining moment in Vince's youth came when he witnessed Bill Goldberg defeating Raven to win the world heavyweight championship in 1975 with, coincidentally, a young Jesse Ventura also in attendance. Vince soon took the reigns of his father's company, the WWWF, and set about making the successful multi-trillion dollar empire it is today. After vanquishing the old territories by signing away all their talent, Vince knew his company needed a flagbearer to carry the company into a brave new era, while visiting Venice Beach, California one day, Vince was struck by the sight of a bronzed adonis named Hulk Hogan and set about making him into his champion. After defeating the Iron Shiek, thus winning the (renamed) World Wrestling Federation championship, and also winning the freedom of hundreds of American hostages in Tehran in the process, Hulk Hogan reigned supreme and Vince had finally reached the promised land. Now wishing to conquer a new domain, Vince married Linda, and he immediately set about genetic jackhammering her brains out, fathering two children, Shane and Stephanie.
But dark clouds were gathering. Jealous of Vince's success, the United States government framed Vince McMahon for distribution of the steroid ICOPRO, an atrocious national outrage that would not be equalled until Al-Qaeda's attack upon America in 2001. Vince assured the villainous government that his wrest...superstars were all naturally muscular and owed their dazzlingly sculptured and statuesque physiques to training, prayers, vitamins and from 1990 onwards, believing in yourself. Vince was sensationally aquitted of all charges when Hulk Hogan appeared on the Arsenio Hall Show and cleared up the whole thing as a misunderstanding.
The 90's would prove to be a troubling time for Vince. The share value of ICOPRO had fallen drastically following the government's persecution of Vince, which caused his massively successful World Bodybuilding Federation to collapse, to the despair of bodybuilding fans around the world, including one in particular named Paul Levesque who vowed that if he could not reach the top of the WBF, he would settle for Shane, or Stephanie if Shane wasn't available. But another dark cloud was gathering on the horizon. A corrupt media mogul named Ted Turner was devising a sinister plan to crush the WWF by creating a rasslin and rodeo company called WCW (correctly pronounced "dubya ceeee dubya" with a comedy southern accent). Recruiting a former used car salesman and strip club owner named Eric Bischoff, Turner set about destroying the WWF by signing away all their talent!, something Vince would NEVER have done. With his company on the verge of collapse, Vince devoted his genius to finding a solution. At that moment, Vince (and Vince alone) found the answer, and that answer was Attitude!
Vince's first masterstroke was the creation of three new sports entertainers called Rocky Maivia, the Ringmaster, and Mason the Mutilator. All three were, at first, greeted with apathy by the fans, but after persisting with his new superstars without changing them at all, the fans eventually enthuastically embraced them, ushering in a new era of success which eventually ended with WCW being crushed and forced into bankruptcy when a group of renegades from the WWF called DX personally visited WCW headquarters with a TANK, thus crushing their spirit and destroying the company. Content with his conquest of all entertainment, including the acquisition of Pixar, Vince re-named the company WWE, which stood for Whole World Entertainment.
But all things end. The Attitude Era soon ebbed away and Vince needed a new superstar to carry the torch. He found a ruthless and aggressive young talent in John Cena, who preached a gospel of Hustle, Loyalty and Respect which caught the imagination of the world. John and his Amazing Technicolour T-Shirts were destined to lead the WWF to greater heights than it had ever been before and thus, it came to pass, with WWE's influence becoming so great, it would eventually expand to include the entire known UNIVERSE.
Vince stood atop WWE headquarters smiling proudly. But then a feeling of sadness overcame him. Vince looked out over his empire and wept, for he had no more worlds to conquer. Vince returned to his office. His assistant knocked on the door and said "Mr McMahon, there's a young man here to see you. He's a wrestler and says it's his life ambition to meet you". Vince sighed, still feeling down, "Oh alright then? Please show him in". The door opened and the young wrestler stood before Vince. Vince was awestruck and his reactions soon became the source of a well known GIF as Vince became more excited and fell off his chair. The young wrestler helped Vince up. Vince said "Thankyou young man, tell me, what is your name???".
"My name..." said the young wrestler "....is Roman"
THE END
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Hawk Hart
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Sold his organs.
The Best There Is, the Best There Was, and the Best That There Ever Will Be
Posts: 15,296
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Post by Hawk Hart on May 10, 2017 19:41:11 GMT -5
My brother and I have been talking about these plot details all day and it sold us on going opening day. We're gonna get absurdly intoxicated before we go, but we're going.
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