MrElijah
Crow T. Robot
Posts: 42,973
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Post by MrElijah on Apr 11, 2018 15:56:11 GMT -5
*Outside of Superdome*
Minoru Suzuki: Well, I made it, Hunter. Despite your directions.
HHH: Ah, Suzuki. Hope you're ready for an unforgettable Wrestlemania!
Suzuki: Yes...
*HHH enters Gorilla and sees the booking plans on fire*
HHH: Oh God!........Mania 34 is ruined!!.....unless, I use some shocking swerves and some Russo booking to disguise it and pass it as my own! Hehhehe, delightfully devilish, King of Kings! *HHH tries to escape through a window*
*Suzuki bursts into Gorilla with a disapproving look*
Hunter, with his crazy explanations. Suzuki's gonna need his medication. When he hears Hunter's lame exaggerations, There'll be trouble in town, tonight!
Suzuki: BASTARDDDD!!
Hunter: AHHHH, SUZUKI!! I was uh, just.....stretching my calves on the windowseal, good exercise! Care to join me?
Suzuki: Why is there smoke coming out of your booking table?
HHH: Smoke...uh, that's steam from the...pro wrestling we're watching! Mmm, Pro Wrestling.
*Suzuki leaves and Hunter runs out the window*
HHH: Hope you're ready for mouth watering Sports Entertainment!
Suzuki: I thought you said we're watching Wrestling?
HHH: No, I said Sports Entertainment!
Suzuki: You call Pro Wrestling, "Sports Entertainment."
HHH: It's a Territorial dialect.
Suzuki: What Territory?
HHH: The Northeast?
Suzuki: I've wrestled in New York and I've never heard of Sports Entertainment.
HHH: It's from Connecticut.
Suzuki: Ah, I see. *They start watching Mania*
Suzuki: This Entertainment, is very similar to the wrestling I've seen in Japan.
HHH: No, no. This is patented McMahon Grappling, old family booking.
Suzuki: Yes but you call this sports entertaining when Asuka and Charlotte are doing chain holds.
HHH: Well, uh, y'see.....excuse me, I have to get ready for my match. *HHH goes into Gorilla*
Suzuki: Of course....
*HHH appears in his gear*
HHH: Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.
Suzuki: I'm sure---GOOD LORD, WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOUR MAIN EVENT?!
HHH: Ummmm, Shoot Style?
Suzuki: Shoot Style?! At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely within your damn ring!?!
HHH: Yes!
Suzuki:......May I see it?
HHH:...no.
*They leave out*
Cole: ROMAN'S BEEN BUSTED WIDE OPEN!
HHH: No, Cole, that's Hybrid Wrestling.
Suzuki: Well, Hunter, you're an odd fellow, but I must say: I was Entertained by your Sports!
*Suzuki walks off*
Cole: OHHHH MYYYY!!
*Suzuki turns back while HHH gives him a thumbs up. Scene shift to ambulance rushing to Superdome*
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Post by "Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay on Apr 12, 2018 7:58:10 GMT -5
*Outside of Superdome* Minoru Suzuki: Well, I made it, Hunter. Despite your directions. HHH: Ah, Suzuki. Hope you're ready for an unforgettable Wrestlemania! Suzuki: Yes... *HHH enters Gorilla and sees the booking plans on fire* HHH: Oh God!........Mania 34 is ruined!!.....unless, I use some shocking swerves and some Russo booking to disguise it and pass it as my own! Hehhehe, delightfully devilish, King of Kings! *HHH tries to escape through a window* *Suzuki bursts into Gorilla with a disapproving look* Hunter, with his crazy explanations. Suzuki's gonna need his medication. When he hears Hunter's lame exaggerations, There'll be trouble in town, tonight!Suzuki: BASTARDDDD!! Hunter: AHHHH, SUZUKI!! I was uh, just.....stretching my calves on the windowseal, good exercise! Care to join me? Suzuki: Why is there smoke coming out of your booking table? HHH: Smoke...uh, that's steam from the...pro wrestling we're watching! Mmm, Pro Wrestling. *Suzuki leaves and Hunter runs out the window* HHH: Hope you're ready for mouth watering Sports Entertainment! Suzuki: I thought you said we're watching Wrestling? HHH: No, I said Sports Entertainment! Suzuki: You call Pro Wrestling, "Sports Entertainment." HHH: It's a Territorial dialect. Suzuki: What Territory? HHH: The Northeast? Suzuki: I've wrestled in New York and I've never heard of Sports Entertainment. HHH: It's from Connecticut. Suzuki: Ah, I see. *They start watching Mania* Suzuki: This Entertainment, is very similar to the wrestling I've seen in Japan. HHH: No, no. This is patented McMahon Grappling, old family booking. Suzuki: Yes but you call this sports entertaining when Asuka and Charlotte are doing chain holds. HHH: Well, uh, y'see.....excuse me, I have to get ready for my match. *HHH goes into Gorilla* Suzuki: Of course.... *HHH appears in his gear* HHH: Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped. Suzuki: I'm sure---GOOD LORD, WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOUR MAIN EVENT?! HHH: Ummmm, Shoot Style? Suzuki: Shoot Style?! At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely within your damn ring!?! HHH: Yes! Suzuki:......May I see it? HHH:...no. *They leave out* Cole: ROMAN'S BEEN BUSTED WIDE OPEN! HHJ: No, Cole, that's Hybrid Wrestling. Suzuki: Well, Hunter, you're an odd fellow, but I must say: I was Entertained by your Sports! *Suzuki walks off* Cole: OHHHH MYYYY!! *Suzuki turns back while HHH gives him a thumbs up. Scene shift to ambulance rushing to Superdome* This is a masterpiece. 100 likes or bust.
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Push R Truth
Patti Mayonnaise
Unique and Special Snowflake, and a pants-less heathen.
Perpetually Constipated
Posts: 39,290
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Post by Push R Truth on Apr 12, 2018 13:44:08 GMT -5
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chrom
Backup Wench
Master of the rare undecuple post
Posts: 84,712
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Post by chrom on Apr 13, 2018 5:43:23 GMT -5
Bo Dallas: Here are your messages: You have 30 minutes to move your car. You have 10 minutes. Your car has been impounded, your car has been turned into a cube. You have 30 minutes to move your cube. (Phone rings) Hello Mr. McMahon's office?
Vince: Is it about my cube?
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Post by crowley1986 on Apr 13, 2018 17:15:38 GMT -5
Mrs Rotunda : Bray's grades are up a little this term. But Mika's are way down.
Mike Rotunda: Oh, we always have one good kid and one lousy kid. Why can't both our kids be good?
Mrs Rotunda : We have three kids, Mike Mike: Honey, the dog doesn't count as a kid.
Mrs Rotunda : No, Bo
Mike: Oh, yeah.
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Post by RI Richmark on Apr 21, 2018 22:00:53 GMT -5
After losing to Jeff Hardy last Raw:
Jinder Mahal: No fair. I just won the US title and now I'll never get it back.
Sunil Singh: But you just had such a great year. What makes you think this Jeff Hardy character is better than you?
Jinder: Samir, forget it. He's more experienced than me, faster than me, more charismatic than me, and has more fans in India than I do.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- On the next season of Total Bellas:
Brie Bella: Daniel, is this the way you pictured married life?
Daniel Bryan: Yeah, pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.
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Post by RI Richmark on Apr 24, 2018 20:13:19 GMT -5
This was inspired by the "Paying Fans to cheer for Roman?" thread. But rather than pay fans Vince decides it would be cheaper to hire a hypnotist instead:
Hynpotist: You are all fans of Roman Reigns...
Fans: [entranced] We are all fans of Roman Reigns...
Hypnotist: You want him to win the Universal Championship... Fans: We want him to win the Universal Championship... Hypnotist: You are behind him one hundred and ten percent... Fans: That's impossible. No one can support someone more than one hundred percent. By definition that is the most support anyone can give...
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Post by RI Richmark on Apr 28, 2018 3:49:38 GMT -5
After the Greatest Royal Rumble:
Michael Cole: Another victory for Brock Lesnar. I'll bet Roman Reigns is kicking himself right now. [Seth Rollins walks into the boiler room and sees Roman's shadow dangling.]
Seth: Roman! For the love of God, no!
[The camera turns to reveal Roman on a ladder swatting a lightbulb.]
Roman: [grunts] Seth, you know that batting this lightbulb is the only thing that cheers me up after losing to Brock again.
[The lightbulb hits Roman in the head and explodes, knocking Roman off the ladder.]
Roman: Ohh...
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emk
Tommy Wiseau
Posts: 90
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Post by emk on Apr 28, 2018 4:48:31 GMT -5
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wildojinx
Wade Wilson
Posts: 26,845
Member is Online
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Post by wildojinx on Apr 29, 2018 21:42:59 GMT -5
Jerry McDevitt: Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, who do you find more attractive, Randy Orton or Finn Balor? Judge: What is the meaning of this? Jerry: I'm so confident of WWE winning this case I can waste the jury's time playing "rate the superhunks".
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Post by theironyuppie on May 15, 2018 5:20:11 GMT -5
Krusty looks back on a NXT call-up:
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chrom
Backup Wench
Master of the rare undecuple post
Posts: 84,712
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Post by chrom on Jun 3, 2018 5:06:02 GMT -5
Doink on why he voted for Vince's bio film.
Doink: Let's just it moved me, TO A BIGGER HOUSE! Oops, said the loud part quiet and the quiet part loud oh no.
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chrom
Backup Wench
Master of the rare undecuple post
Posts: 84,712
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Post by chrom on Jun 6, 2018 20:41:42 GMT -5
*After The XFL Flops again and over half the roster is cut to make up for damages lost*
Linda: This is the worst thing you've ever done.
Vince: You've said that so much its lost its meaning.
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Post by Susan "Poison" Candy on Jun 6, 2018 23:46:01 GMT -5
Punk: I'm going to write a figure on this piece of paper. It's not quite as large as the last one, but I think you'll find it fair.
[draws a giant zero and a middle finger]
Amann's Lawyer: I think we should take it.
Amann: *sighs of embarrassment and disappointment*
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chrom
Backup Wench
Master of the rare undecuple post
Posts: 84,712
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Post by chrom on Jun 8, 2018 16:50:21 GMT -5
"And now there's a beach ball in the ring, and cesaro and sheamus are discussing which one of them is going to destroy it" ECW Sign Guy: I never realized how boring Wrestling is without beer
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chrom
Backup Wench
Master of the rare undecuple post
Posts: 84,712
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Post by chrom on Jun 18, 2018 12:45:21 GMT -5
*Brawl between LIJ and Suzukigun*
Brie: We should go back inside
Bryan: But Brie, (points to Suzuki) that guy hasn't done anything yet. You now he's gonna do something and its gonna be good.
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Post by Rumble McSkirmish on Jun 18, 2018 13:10:09 GMT -5
Dr. Amann's Lawyer: I move for a um a..bad..court..thingy.
Judge: You mean a mistrial?
Dr. Amann Lawyer: Yeah. I guess that's why you're the judge and I'm the uh law talking guy.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Judge: Can I please have the verdict?
Dr. Amann's lawyer hands the judge a slip of paper.
Judge: Why this verdict is written on a cocktail napkin. And it still rules in favor of CM Punk and Colt Cabana. And Cabana is spelled wrong!
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Post by Rumble McSkirmish on Jun 19, 2018 14:13:43 GMT -5
Inspired by recent events
Vince McMahon: Sorry for releasing you Cass, but that Dwarf had some really powerful friends.
Daniel Bryan: Oh you'll pay, don't think you won't pay!
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Spider2024
Patti Mayonnaise
Dedicated 6,666th post to Irontyger
I believe in Joe Hendry.
Posts: 39,227
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Post by Spider2024 on Jun 19, 2018 15:50:26 GMT -5
Inspired by recent events Vince McMahon: Sorry for releasing you Cass, but that Dwarf had some really powerful friends. Little Person: Oh you'll pay, don't think you won't pay! OK, I know Daniel Bryan is short, but not THAT short.
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Push R Truth
Patti Mayonnaise
Unique and Special Snowflake, and a pants-less heathen.
Perpetually Constipated
Posts: 39,290
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Post by Push R Truth on Jun 19, 2018 18:42:36 GMT -5
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