|
Post by Rumble McSkirmish on Jun 19, 2018 20:46:19 GMT -5
Inspired by recent events Vince McMahon: Sorry for releasing you Cass, but that Dwarf had some really powerful friends. Little Person: Oh you'll pay, don't think you won't pay! OK, I know Daniel Bryan is short, but not THAT short. I meant to type Little Person's Court Judge, but I was in a hurry. But thanks for giving me an even better idea.
|
|
|
Post by BRAINFADE on Jun 20, 2018 0:26:00 GMT -5
Quite an easy one, but:
Big Cass: So that's it then? After eight years, so long, good luck?
Vince: I don't recall saying good luck.
|
|
chrom
Backup Wench
Master of the rare undecuple post
Posts: 84,930
Member is Online
|
Post by chrom on Jul 4, 2018 13:51:39 GMT -5
Patterson's Computer shows an image of half naked Vince
Vince: Hello Patterson, you are quite good at turning me on.
Patterson: You might wanna ignore that.
|
|
|
Post by theshredshack on Jul 15, 2018 17:51:22 GMT -5
Vince: Whoa, whoa. Slow down there Maestro. There's a NEW Japan?
|
|
MiLB Fan
Fry's dog Seymour
Posts: 20,396
|
Post by MiLB Fan on Jul 15, 2018 18:19:46 GMT -5
|
|
Spider2024
Patti Mayonnaise
Dedicated 6,666th post to Irontyger
I believe in Joe Hendry.
Posts: 39,269
|
Post by Spider2024 on Jul 15, 2018 19:48:54 GMT -5
Vince McMahon talking to Rusev: "You'd be a much more fun champion that AJ Styles. Why, he doesn't know the meaning of the word 'gay'."
|
|
|
Post by The Barber on Jul 16, 2018 1:14:54 GMT -5
Mr. McMahon: Something is not right about DX's shenanigans. Send for the boys of Hollywood at once!
*Mr. McMahon's office. Two talent scouts from Hollywood are by his desk*
Mr. McMahon: Well, did you meet Trips and HBK?
Male Talent Scout: Oh yes. He made light of my weight problem, then suggested my job ought to be "Holly(food) Agent". After that he told me to "Suck It!".
Mr. McMahon: How were his test screenings?
Female Talent Scout: Let's just say this: he pronounced "Duck" with an F.
*Mr. McMahon, in a not-to-subtle move, opens his checkbook*
Mr. McMahon: I see. Well, I- ...Oh, that reminds me, it is time for your annual contribution. How much should I give?
Male Talent Scout: Well frankly, test screenings like Hunter and Shawn's would merit a very generous donation. A rating of 400 would require new cameras. 300 would require a new studio. And in their case? We'd need an international airport.
Female Talent Scout: Hollywood could use an international airport, Mr. McMahon.
Mr. McMahon: Are you mad?! I am not made of airports! Get out!
|
|
|
Post by Susan "Poison" Candy on Jul 16, 2018 14:22:17 GMT -5
JBL & Cole: S-A-X,
Corey: His name is Byron!
JBL & Cole: T-O-N,
Corey: It's a stupid name! He's worse than Frankenstein Or Dr. No!
David Byrne: You can't upset him even slightly,
He just smiles and nods politely,
Then goes home and worships nightly,
His Commentary is an emporium of woe!
JBL & Cole: S-A-X,
Corey: Don't yell at Byron!
Lenny and Carl: T-O-N,
Corey: His career is dead! Everybody hates that stupid jerk!
David Byrne: The World rocks with Graves's joyous loathing, Filling clubs with angry Valentinos. You don't have to move your feet, Just hate Saxton to the disco beat.
Corey and David Byrne: He's your perky, peppy, nightmare neighborino!
(Byron Saxton also singing along to the radio in his car)
If you despise polite commentators,
Then I doubt you'll like Byron Saxton Or his creepy little friends named, Mauro and Tom.
Mauro & Tom: (sitting in the car listening to the song on the radio). That's us! Hooray!
Audience: S-A-X!
Otunga: His name is Byron!
Audience: T-O-N!
Otunga: He is so white bread!
Corey and Choir: The smiling baldhead geek who walks with God!
D-Von Dudley: Mass dismissed.....Oh Testify!!!
|
|
chrom
Backup Wench
Master of the rare undecuple post
Posts: 84,930
Member is Online
|
Post by chrom on Aug 15, 2018 16:11:38 GMT -5
Austin: How am I suppose to last five days without shooting something?
|
|
|
Post by Susan "Poison" Candy on Aug 15, 2018 18:02:08 GMT -5
-At a Steakhouse after Smackdown Live-
Samoa Joe: "Wait a minute. Is this the biggest steak you've got? Seventy-two ounces? I thought this was supposed to be a steak house... not a little girlie, underpantsie, pink-doily, tea-party place."
Waiter: "Well, there is one steak that's only available by special request. We call it "Sirloin-a-Lot." It's the size of a boogie board."
Samoa Joe: Ooh! I'll have that one. And to drink, meatballs.
Waiter: "Very good, sir."
|
|
Spider2024
Patti Mayonnaise
Dedicated 6,666th post to Irontyger
I believe in Joe Hendry.
Posts: 39,269
|
Post by Spider2024 on Aug 15, 2018 19:02:32 GMT -5
-At a Steakhouse after Smackdown Live- Samoa Joe: "Wait a minute. Is this the biggest steak you've got? Seventy-two ounces? I thought this was supposed to be a steak house... not a little girlie, underpantsie, pink-doily, tea-party place." Waiter: "Well, there is one steak that's only available by special request. We call it "Sirloin-a-Lot." It's the size of a boogie board." Samoa Joe: Ooh! I'll have that one. And to drink, meatballs. Waiter: "Very good, sir." "Only two people have ever finished the whole thing."
|
|
|
Post by RI Richmark on Aug 15, 2018 21:13:29 GMT -5
Triple H & Stephanie are need a sitter when they are called to Raw suddenly. That's when the doorbell rings:
X-Pac: Hey Hunter, I was just going through your garbage, when I couldn't help but overhear you are in need of a babysitter. Now, as a former Light-Heavyweight Champion, my fee is $175 an hour.
Triple H: We pay $8.00 for the night and you can take two Popsicles out of the freezer.
X-Pac: Three.
Triple H: Two.
X-Pac: Okay, two, and I get to keep this old birdcage.
Triple H: Done.
X-Pac: (to himself) Still got it!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kurt Angle gives Roman Reigns a pep talk:
Kurt: Roman, there's a little crippled boy sitting in a hospital who wants you to win this match. I know because... I crippled him myself to inspire you.
[Cuts to Nicholas lying in a hospital bed with a broken ankle and his parents at his side.]
Nicholas: I hope Roman wins or Kurt said he's coming back.
|
|
|
Post by G✇JI☈A on Aug 16, 2018 1:55:28 GMT -5
Last Wrestlemania:
Vince McMahon: Hello, Ronda don’t mind me, just giving you wine, chocolate and flowers I lavish on all employees. Ronda Rousey: Well isn’t that nice... makes me wonder why morale is so down here. *Vince looks around lockerroom to see Sami Zayn weeping, Bayley downing whiskey shots and* Finn Balor: (in demon make up) I am the Demon King, the time of purification is at hand..,
|
|
chrom
Backup Wench
Master of the rare undecuple post
Posts: 84,930
Member is Online
|
Post by chrom on Oct 4, 2018 18:37:27 GMT -5
Yoshi Hashi: Super fun Happy Slide!
|
|
MiLB Fan
Fry's dog Seymour
Posts: 20,396
|
Post by MiLB Fan on Oct 4, 2018 18:48:14 GMT -5
Vince McMahon: “Hmm, we didn’t have a message when we left. How very odd.”
*presses button*
Vince: “Linda, is Stephanie at Camp Granada?”
|
|
H-Virus
Hank Scorpio
A Real Contagious Experience
Posts: 5,963
|
Post by H-Virus on Oct 4, 2018 19:32:31 GMT -5
*2015. Daniel Bryan sits in a hospital room*
Daniel: 'Try something new, Daniel. What'll it hurt, Daniel?' Well I never got a concussion using Cattle Mutilation!
Doctor: You wife agreed that I should break this to you.
Daniel: No need, doc. I can read Brie like a book!
*Brie is close to tears*
Daniel: Ooo, it's good news, isn't it?
|
|
chrom
Backup Wench
Master of the rare undecuple post
Posts: 84,930
Member is Online
|
Post by chrom on Nov 18, 2018 23:03:32 GMT -5
*After Lesnar wins the title again for the umpteenth time and the Crowd is booing in response*
Lesnar: Paul are they booing me?
Heyman: No, their saying Boo-rock, Boo-rock!
Lesnar: Are you saying Boo or Boo-rock?
Crowd: Boo!
|
|
|
Post by Gravedigger's Biscuits on Nov 18, 2018 23:28:11 GMT -5
Paige: Isn't anybody on this dad-gummed roster going to stay face?
Finn Balor (getting buried): I didn't want to cause a fuss but now that you mention it....
|
|
|
Post by G✇JI☈A on Nov 19, 2018 3:59:20 GMT -5
Triple H: Nia Jax ruined a hot hyped up match for Survivor Series.. we should really punish her this time. Vince: But look at her face Hunter, she’s learnt her lesson.... let’s give her a push!
|
|
Spider2024
Patti Mayonnaise
Dedicated 6,666th post to Irontyger
I believe in Joe Hendry.
Posts: 39,269
|
Post by Spider2024 on Nov 19, 2018 5:09:54 GMT -5
*2015. Daniel Bryan sits in a hospital room* Daniel: 'Try something new, Daniel. What'll it hurt, Daniel?' Well I never got a concussion using Cattle Mutilation! Doctor: You wife agreed that I should break this to you. Daniel: No need, doc. I can read Brie like a book! *Brie is close to tears* Daniel: Ooo, it's good news, isn't it? Piggybacking on that with a Futurama quote: Daniel: What is it, good news? Doctor: Daniel, your hydraulics are shot. You'll never wrestle again. Daniel: *gasp* You mean... Doctor: I'm sorry. *turns to Triple H* You'll have to sign a new one.
|
|