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Post by GuyOfOwnage on Feb 12, 2018 16:07:45 GMT -5
Buy four of them, and you can get a call from the Nature Boy! Because every woman's dream is to have an inebriated 70-year-old man attempt to serenade them over the phone.
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Post by xCompackx on Feb 12, 2018 16:08:14 GMT -5
He said take them on Space Mountain AND have sexual relations. Does that mean signing this means you ride on the actual space mountain? Does copulation occur before, after, or during the ride? Well, gotta do something while you're waiting in line.
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Post by willywonka666 on Feb 12, 2018 16:11:41 GMT -5
Thanks-I’ll just print this up myself
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Post by edgestar on Feb 12, 2018 16:12:23 GMT -5
Buy four of them, and you can get a call from the Nature Boy! Because every woman's dream is to have an inebriated 70-year-old man attempt to serenade them over the phone. I keep reading "your", as "you", and imagining Flair having to make so many calls, to call people "sweetheart".
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MiLB Fan
Fry's dog Seymour
Posts: 20,407
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Post by MiLB Fan on Feb 12, 2018 16:13:55 GMT -5
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thecrusherwi
El Dandy
the Financially Responsible Man
Brawl For All
Posts: 7,660
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Post by thecrusherwi on Feb 12, 2018 16:15:59 GMT -5
If you find someone that will sign this and still sleep with you, marry them immediately.
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lionheart21
Patti Mayonnaise
Once did a thing...
Posts: 30,665
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Post by lionheart21 on Feb 12, 2018 16:16:13 GMT -5
Seeing how the prom offer could end with Ric attempting to sleep with a high schooler, I'd say this is the better offer.
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Post by MAD TITAN on Feb 12, 2018 16:16:55 GMT -5
...Kobe!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2018 16:19:24 GMT -5
Buy four of them, and you can get a call from the Nature Boy! Nothing says have consensual sex like talking to the Nature Boy on speaker!
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Post by GuyOfOwnage on Feb 12, 2018 16:19:28 GMT -5
How did I not see this when it was posted? That's it, I'm done, I'm throwing in the towel. Nothing can top this.
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MiLB Fan
Fry's dog Seymour
Posts: 20,407
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Post by MiLB Fan on Feb 12, 2018 16:22:21 GMT -5
I just wanna say, this whole thread is making me literally laugh out loud. Thanks, everyone.
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Post by DSR on Feb 12, 2018 16:24:49 GMT -5
I mean... If you really wanted to you could literally just type this up on Googledocs in like 5 minutes and it would be just as legally binding and not spend 50 dollars. If you're too lazy to spend 5 minutes typing, you could right-click and save the image and just print one out.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2018 16:26:14 GMT -5
That's it, I'm done, I'm throwing in the towel. Nothing can top this. I can't decide if it's made bettter or worse that you have to immediately drive him back to the airport. Is it better that Flair immediately wants out of your town the instant it's possible, even if that means sitting around in an airport for hours on end in the dead of night waiting for the next flight whenever it is, or if instead he'd stipulated that until it was time for him to leave you had to set him up in a hotel or your house or something?
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Post by Final Countdown Jones on Feb 12, 2018 16:37:02 GMT -5
I made it in proper image format you can print and just saved you $50 FAN, now go get some.
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Post by Andy Martin on Feb 12, 2018 16:40:19 GMT -5
If you find someone that will sign this and still sleep with you, marry them immediately. Probably what worked for Conrad Thompson.
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Post by Shy Guy on Feb 12, 2018 16:42:25 GMT -5
Better than the contract from 50 shades of grey
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2018 16:50:33 GMT -5
Just remember, no hair no Flair. WOO!
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JCBaggee
Hank Scorpio
Writer, streamer. I used to write for CBR but then they fired everyone who cared about their writers
Posts: 6,788
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Post by JCBaggee on Feb 12, 2018 16:55:25 GMT -5
Still less creepy than when you could have bought him for a prom date.
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Toxik916
Hank Scorpio
Sacramento Proud
Posts: 6,207
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Post by Toxik916 on Feb 12, 2018 16:56:27 GMT -5
Too lazy to connect the dots on a making virgins bleed joke, but this contract should only be valid as a blood pact.
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Post by edgestar on Feb 12, 2018 17:00:28 GMT -5
I made it in proper image format you can print and just saved you $50 FAN, now go get some. The monitor in the background really seals the deal!
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