Erik Majorwitz
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
I don't have a PS3.
Longest Crapper- Laying it across the table
Posts: 18,051
|
Post by Erik Majorwitz on Nov 11, 2005 8:37:20 GMT -5
OLDEST ORIGINAL THREAD
Alright, for those that can't go back and listen to the countless volumes, I'd like to start a thread of previous Braxton Haikus. If you haven't listened to WrestleCrap Radio yet, you are missing out on a treat.
Semper Fi, Erik Majorwitz
|
|
Erik Majorwitz
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
I don't have a PS3.
Longest Crapper- Laying it across the table
Posts: 18,051
|
Post by Erik Majorwitz on Nov 11, 2005 8:41:40 GMT -5
Man, this thread needs to be at the top of the WrestleCrap pages.
17 syllables (don't chastize Blade, as a youngster he researched Joseph Haiku Sr. back in the 1200s) is all you need to give Blade for him to update you on the week of wrestling. Rather than watch four hours of wrestling a week, Blade condenses it down for the average fan that has a job and a life.
For those that are interested, out of the 139 shows... Blade has penned 119 haikus, 1 tonka and several songs. One show didn't have a haiku due to the BM Punk call in.
-WCR #159 BM Punk calls in with a guest haiku -WCR #157 Blade has a new love, brown haired Trish! -WCR #154 had an epic song about the past four years. -WCR #148 Blade sings about his love Mickie James. -WCR #143 Lord Alfred is drafted as the new Haiku reader. -WCR #123 had a haiku done by "Angry" Jim Ross. -WCR #111 had a haiku done by Josh, winner of the eBay auction. -WCR #106 did not have a haiku (due to the Seth Mates interview), but Stubby called in with an inappropriate joke. -WCR #103 didn't have a haiku, but did feature Blade's brand new hit song, "($10,000 Bucks) The Tranny Whore Song" -WCR #78 didn't have a haiku, but did feature a song by R.D. Reynolds. - WCR #75 did not have a haiku due to the BM Punk call in. - WCR #73 is the only episode to feature two haikus: One by Co-Host Contest Winner Triple Kelly and Blade Braxton. - WCR #64 had no haiku due to the Lance Storm interview. - WCR #62 R.D. and Blade's Diva Love Song replaced the haiku. - WCR #57 Jon Thomas fills in on the haiku for Blade. - WCR #55 Blade replaced the haiku with a song. - WCR #49 featured a listener haiku due to Blade losing a Lions-Colts bet. - WCR #44 had Corporal Kirschner apparently attempt to assasinate Blade and offers his own All-American Haiku. - WCR #37 did not have a haiku due to R.D. and Blade providing running commentary for the 2006 Diva Search Finale. - WCR #32 featured the first (and so far last) Tonka. - WCR #20 and #21 did not have haikus due to the Vince Russo two part interview. - WCR #12 didn't have a haiku due to the passing of Eddie Guerrero. - WCR #2 was the debut of the Blade Braxton Weekly Haiku. - In WCR #1 Blade did not have a haiku, it took him some time before he found the lovely theme music.
And as always, the crown does not come as illustrated, unless you are drinking Crown, then it does come with Crown:
2009 (9 Shows, 8 Haikus, 1 Song)
WCR #160 (10/30/09)- Demento vs Wrestlecrap Feud continues.
Demento's pissed off He's challenged me and RD Don't bring it, sing it!
WCR #159 (10/2/09)- BM Punk has issues with The Rock.
Advice for the Rock Jabroni don't pinch off more than you can flush
WCR #158 (9/25/09)- Vince continues to be stuck in the past.
Dennis Miller Raw Obviously Vince Never Watched Monday Night Football
WCR #157 (9/18/09)- Blade has a new girl.
(to the tune of "Brown Eyed Girl")
Hey where did Trish go? Divas today are lame She had an ass like whoa She kissed Mickie James
Stripping and teasing Bubba Ray
In this very ring You made my dick swing My brown haired Trish You're my brown haired Trish
Whatever happened To Monday so Raw? C'mon down with T&A Firmest breasts I'd ever saw Teased but never showed it all Women's I'd eat you like a popcorn doll.
You're my brown haired Trish
Do you remember when I used to drink Trish Trish Trish Trish Trish Trish Oh Trish Trish I love you Trish
WCR #156 (9/4/09)- Tugboat cries gimmick infringement.
Shockmaster returns How will Fred Otman respond? Tugboat in a dress.
WCR #155 (8/28/09)- Vince has a gay old time for his birthday.
Vince McMahon's birthday Gay masks huh? More like one great big gay half hour.
WCR #154 (8/21/09)- Linda McMahon wants your vote.
Linda for Senate Only one thing we can do Move to Mexico
WCR #153 (8/14/09)- What a song!
(to the tune of "We Didn't Start the Fire")
12 listeners fine young eggs BM Punk Re Mickie James Brother The tranny's a ho
Nicole Bass hobo Rocking chair peace Precious Paul's frozen eye Prostitute roomate
We killed another guy Didn't know he was sick No we're not delighted he had to bite
Johnny Six J.R. hates Gorbachev I'll beat that's not taken. Joyce DeWitt Demento is a douchebag
Didn't know he was sick McMahon is not alive, we killed another guy
Loverboy He-man's Big nippled vampire Lift the tail, Triple Kel Watch out for the clumsy girl
Gorgeous George, nude show
WCR #152 (7/31/09)- Hunter is 40.
Hunter is forty Eat some cake and play in the tail on the dead dog
WCR #151 (7/24/09)- Ugly love triangle in TNA.
Jeff's banging Karen Why oh why did she leave Kurt? Must be Jeff's gold tooth.
WCR #150 (7/17/09)- 150 Shows...12 listeners, 1 Centaur ass.
Hundred fifty shows Thousand fifty references to Mickie James' ass
WCR #149 (6/26/09)- Blade is sad about Candice's release.
Candice got released This week at Trolla's website Clocktrollas half off.
WCR #148 (6/12/09)- Blade sings yet again, about Arby's?
Teardrops on my Centaur (to the tune of "Teardrops on my Guitar" by Taylor Swift)
I went to Arby's I ordered a beef and cheese What I want and I need Is the real life Mickie
Her ass is not
The nude pics I see Make me feel so funny I wish that she
She says that she was young did them for the cash I w beefy
Mickie got a big ass like a centaur Like a vegan at a salad Leather pants my dick's in a chance Mickie I love you
I went to Arby's I ordered a beef and cheese
WCR #147 (5/29/09)- Basketball vs Wrestling?
Jazz Thunder Magic That dogs*** RAW Had none of the above WCR #146 (5/22/09)- Blade dishes on Vickie's nutiritional intake.
Vickies got the sash She's Miss Wrestlemania She doesn't miss meals
WCR #145 (5/15/09)- Blade on Judgement Day.
Judgement Day Sunday My mind's already made up Not buying the show
WCR #144 (5/8/09)- 5 Dollar Footlongs?
Jared and Miss James F*** Subway Mickie still has me thinking Arby's
WCR #143 (4/24/09)- Draft Edition Haiku by Lord Alfred!
Promotional Consideration Paid For By the following
WCR #142 (4/10/09)- Blade rants about the Diva Battle Royale.
Skank Battle Royal You can't tell the boobs apart Without a scorecard.
WCR #141 (4/1/09)- Koko Radio!!!
Hall of Fame Koko Please don't rent a tux Wear the High Energy pants
WCR #140 (3/27/09)- Blade reviews 12 Rounds.
12 Rounds on Friday I'll need 12 rounds of Starbucks To watch that thingie.
WCR #139 (3/20/09)- Diva Battle Royal, R.D. interrupts.
A Diva Royale You know it won't be complete We need Hervina!
WCR #138 (3/6/09)- No Haiku (Song)
Blade's Tribute to the Boogeyman (to the tune of Candle in the Wind" by Elton John)
Goodbye Boogeyman Though we never knew you at all You had the grace to hold yourself while worms around you crawled You would bring all those clocks to Ringside I'll bet you were never late Well until you smashed the clock right upside your face
It seems to like to dine on a mole on Jillian's chin Always Scaring tiny midgets and Palmer Canon I'd would have liked you to know you, but I was just a mark Can't believe you are really gone You broke my plastic heart.
WCR #137 (2/27/09)- Blade throws down the gauntlet to Damien Demento.
So very scary He's Damien Demento Live From a Closet
WCR #136 (2/20/09)- Blade goes on a Dark Journey in this week's haiku.
It is nightmare fuel I hope I don't dream about JR's Dark Journey!
WCR #135 (2/6/09)- AC/DC is out, ZZ Top is in?
No AC/DC Time for some cheap sunglasses Time for ZZ Top
WCR #134 (1/30/09)- AC/DC beats out ZZ Top for Wrestlemania gig?
Ew, AC/DC Guess Vince lost Angus Young now Poor Billy Gibbons
WCR #133 (1/23/09)- Blade pleads Randy to kick more people in a haiku.
Randy kicked Vince's head But hey, why should he stop there? Please punt Stephanie!
WCR #132 (1/16/09)- Darkest WCR ever ends with a Blade haiku on death in Kentucky.
Dark day Mudlick Cousin Junior is now gone Tears in my moonshine
WCR #131 (1/9/09)- Blade talks about Vickey Guerrero's feminine hygiene habits, or lack thereof.
Vickie's birthday suit We got to see her black box Time for Summer's Eve
2008
WCR #130 (12/19/08)- Blade honors the timely demise of N.E.R.D. this Christmas.
Nathaniel is dead Blasted by Trolla product Greatest gift of all.
WCR #129 (12/12/08)- Blade said knock you out.
JBL knocked out Guess Momma Juwanna doesn't help a glass jaw
WCR #128 (12/5/08)- Blade is solutions orientated about HBK's financial woes.
Broke ass HBK No cash? Guess its time For Whisper to start whoring.
WCR #127 (11/21/08)- Blade gives thanks for the haiku and Chief Jay Strongbow.
He's Chief Jay Strongbow It's not why he was on RAW Its just one word: How!
WCR #126 (11/14/08)-Blade honors another Diva release.
Leena Yoda Business not strong in this one Mmm, fired you are!
WCR #125 (11/7/08)- Blade's haiku is see habla espanol.
Horse faced Lillian Caballa Trolla That's Spanish for Horse Trolla.
WCR #124 (10/24/08)- Blade talks about Hogan's Celebrity Wrestling.
Tiffany got cut What could have been beautiful? More granny panties!
WCR #123 (10/17/08)- JR writes a BK haiku about Trish Stratus.
Trish don't like my meat Neither does my f****** wife F*** all them bitches!
WCR #122 (10/10/08)- More naked Divas in Playboy?
Kelly Kelly nude What's next? Anonymous Brooke spreads in Beaver Hunt.
WCR #121 (10/3/08)- Blade is worried about his 17 syllables being stolen by WWE.
They ripped off Trolla What will Nipple steal next? Oh f***, the haiku!
WCR #120 (9/26/08)- Blade conducts a "semi-aging" haiku.
Ladder Match '08 Shawn is at the age where old men fall off ladders.
WCR #119 (9/19/08)- A sober Blade talks about a drunk Jeff Hardy grounded by the FAA.
Jeff excretory matterfaced on plane excretory matterfaced seriously And don't call me Shirley!
WCR #118 (9/12/08)- Lord Alfred comes back to promote stuff?
Dub Dub E's fresh blood Primo cologne Hard for a woman to resist.
WCR #117 (8/29/08)- Blade honors Mick Foley's historic move to TNA.
Mick's in TNA Wow, golly his debut ratings still 1.0.
WCR #116 (8/22/08)- Blade loves a Whisper quiet feature.
Whisper's big fat lip She's had fat lip's ever since she had Shawn's love spawn.
WCR #115 (8/15/08)- The traditional Summerslam haiku dedicated to the WrestleCrap Faithful.
We've made it three years The age kids get potty trained We'll still piss our pants.
WCR Lost Episode (8/15/08)- The debut haiku, but in the middle of the show.
Shawn Michaels Hulkster Summerslam's Big Main Event Will Hulk's Depends leak?
WCR #114 (8/8/08)- No Haiku Blade Braxton Musical Tribute
WCR #113 (8/1/08)- Blade does a heel turn.
GM Adamle What on Earth could be better? GM Paul Christy!
WCR #112 (7/18/08)- Roadkill #2? (crickets) Cena hit by car New tag team next week Cena and Danny Doring.
WCR #111 (7/11/08)- $10 a syllable by Josh about ECW
ECW Always Shocking Moment Heel Saba Simba.
WCR #110 (6/27/08)- An upset Smackdown bound J.R. is fearful for his cornhole.
Well, I got drafted Good ole JR's on Smackdown Hope I don't get raped!
WCR #109 (6/20/08)- Blind leading the blind.
Any eye for an eye Kane vs Show With Sandy Duncan as the ref.
WCR #108 (6/13/08)- Prepare to be Blade (Rick) rolled?
Rick Astley on RAW Never gonna give you up Ratings going down!
WCR #107 (6/6/08)- Is it 1988?
Vince's Mega Bucks We've seen DiBiase Where the f*** is Andre?
WCR #106 (5/30/08)- No Haiku
Interview with Seth Mates
WCR #105 (5/23/08)- Vince McMahon is one of the 12 listeners?
CW Post Further proof that Vince is one of twelve listeners.
WCR #104 (5/16/08)- Blade finds out Mickey has gone astray.
Mickie and Cena John better keep his hands off or die a slow death.
WCR #103 (5/9/08)- No Haiku (Song)
$10,000 Bucks (to the tune of "5,000 Miles" by The Pretenders)
When I pay for sex
When I'm broke We
WCR #102 (5/2/08)- Mike Adamle inspires Blade?
Adamle walked out You know what? That's a wonderful f****** idea.
WCR #101 (4/25/08)- Do you smell?
Barack is cookin' Cooking a segment more rank than Hilary's crotch.
WCR #100 (4/11/08)- 100 WrestleCrap Radio Shows!
Barack versus Clinton And soon their mixed tag partners Donald and Rosie.
WCR #99 (4/4/08)- Eight years...of Wrestlecrap. Burn?
Next year's Mania One very simple request Please no more pyro.
WCR #98 (3/28/08)- Blade honors Ric Flair's last match.
Wrestlemania No smartass haiku this week Thank you Nature Boy.
WCR #97 (3/14/08) -Follow Blade's advice or else!
Hardy and Ashley The correct phrase is just say no Not just say blow.
WCR #96 (3/7/08) Mayweather in April?
Money Mayweather His boxing skills are cashed Promo skills are on welfare!
WCR #95 (3/1/08)- Blade likes a high class Playboy shoot.
Maria's Playboy How could it be high fashioned? Bow tie on her bush.
WCR #94 (2/22/08)- Hornswoggle's hurt and Blade is happy.
Hornswoggle's beat up Bradshaw stole our idea Carnival midget toss!
WCR #93 (2/8/08)- Glass Joe? Oh no! Raw is still crappy.
Leprechaun bites ass At the end of the rainbow Vince's brown horseshoe.
WCR #92 (2/1/08)- Cena's Back!
Cena's title shot you can't see me ordering No Way Out next month.
WCR #91 (1/18/08)- WWE in HD? Shudder at the thought.
Bye, bye Titantron Hutner how could you do this? Snitsky in Hi-Def!
WCR #90 (1/11/08)- Blade apparently loves his UWF episodes.
UWF's back That's not just souper That's super f****** dooper!
WCR #89 (1/4/08)- Blade is glad someone wasn't nominated.
It is Gooker Time Lots of s***** nominees No WSX
2007 ()
WCR #88 (12/21/07)- Eww, Blade...
WrestleCrap Christmas What would make the yuletide gay? Michael Cole in stockings.
WCR #87 (12/14/07)- Decking the (Jillian) Halls?
Jillian's Jingle I have nothing bad to say I would ring her bells.
WCR #86 (12/7/07)- Blade thinks RAW jumped the shark this week.
15 years of RAW At this rate I'd say Six years too many.
WCR #85 (11/30/07)- Blade ponders the newest Supercouple.
Smackdown's new couple I wonder if Vicky got speared on the first date?
WCR #84 (11/16/07)- Save yourselves!
Save us 222 What is Chris Gonna Do? Murder all creative?
WCR #83 (11/9/07)- Party like it is 1999?
2007 Last I checked that was the year Somebody tell Vince.
WCR #82 (11/2/07)- It's the first of the month...
Anonymous Brooke Is it the 1st or 15th? She's now welfare Brooke!
WCR #81 (10/26/07)- The following PSA has been paid for...
Happy Halloween Don't Trick or Treat at Piper's crib or you will die!
WCR #80 (10/19/07)- Cheatum was the bomb...
Hornswoggle with bomb Coach should've learned from the past Remember Cheatum?
WCR #79 (10/12/07)- It is the start of the Randy Orton Era!
Orton won the belt He was the last man standing S***, RK Oh no!!!
WCR #78 (10/5/07)- No Haiku (Song)
R.D. Sings
(to the tune of "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor)
Had enough of WWE So she bought a ticket to China I mean the country not that old stinky skank Joanie Laurer who had a clit like a dick
So she went there wearing high heels I guess that wasn't too clever Had her giant gonzagas right out on display Too bad they didn't help her at all
Now the tranny is off Survivor She got thrown to the curb Didn't even outlast the guy named chicken Voted right off the ilsand like some Poindexter nerd Should have shaved off her 'stache then she'd be On Survivor
WCR #77 (9/28/07)- Co-Host Contest officially ends.
The contest is over I only got one more symbol to add (Gong)
WCR #76 (9/21/07)- Triple H is back from the dead?
Unstoppable Trips Call him the Underhunter King of Burials.
WCR #75 (9/6/07)- No Haiku
BM Punk Phone Call
WCR #74 (8/31/07)- Rey Mysterio is back.
Silver Surfer Rey Fantasic Four? Try fantastic 40 inch waist.
WCR #73 (8/17/07)- Two haikus for your money
(Triple Kelly)
Vince's Bastard Child Girl wins Co-Host Contest Gooker ends in tie.
(Blade Braxton)
Return of the Game? I'd rather play Atari 2600!
WCR #72 (8/10/07)- 2nd Anniversary of WrestleCrap Radio, Vince Cheated?
Vince Got him some strange Thanks to his cheating We now get Lance Von McMahon!
WCR #71 (7/27/07)- Hornswoggle, the pint sized Cruiser Champ.
Hornswoggle's a champ If Super Porky doesn't get a shot We Riot!
WCR #70 (7/20/07)- Great Khali is King of the World.
Nooo time for losers Khali is the champion of the world (inaudible)
WCR #69 (7/13/07)- Blade likes Brook Hogan's new assets.
Brooksters new boobies What you ask could be better? Bright orange nipples!
WCR #68 (7/6/07)- Michelle McCools loves life.
She thinks she's Hennig Michelle McCool Absolutely not perfect!
WCR #67 (6/22/07)- Stephanie has grown quite large.
Big Steph's in the house! Oops, sorry, meant to say she's as big as a house!
WCR #66 (6/15/07)- Vince is dead? Say it ain't so! Sadly his grapefruits weren't flame retarded.
WCR #65 (6/1/07)- Blade's tribute to his new favorite wrestler: RVD w/Concussion Syndrome!
RVD's concussed He got kicked in his dome Man, I'm feelin' woozy...
WCR #64 (5/25/07)- No Haiku Lance Storm Interview
WCR #63 (5/18/07)- Sabu is guilty of gimmick infringement.
Sabu without pants Gimmick infringement! My lawyers will be in touch.
WCR #62 (5/11/07)- No Haiku (Song)
(to the tune of Willie Nelson and Julio Iglesias)
To all the Diva's we've loved before Who used to dress like slutty whores I'm glad they came along We got to see all the tongs Of all the Divas we've loved before.
To all the Divas that were barely dressed And may I say Victoria's teh best Their matches might blow But we saw the camel toe Of all the Divas we've loved before.
But there'll be no more boobs showing Vince ne dress code's in place He says its for advertising Me, I think he just turned gay.
To all the Divas on Monday Night Who are now dressed like Vince's wife I'm glad they came along We'll never see the thongs Of all the Diva's we've loved before.
WCR #61 (5/4/07)- Blade holds out on syllables for more money.
Vince is champ again Could things get any worse? Yes!! Great Khali Champion!!!
WCR #60 (4/27/07)- Milk does a body good? What?
Nathan Jones Condemned Jones 3:16 I just Vitamin D'd your ass!
WCR #59 (4/13/07)- Balde talks about CM Punk joining the New Breed.
CM Punk turned heel He's New Breed! He's new...(snore sounds)
WCR #58 (4/6/07)- Backlash? More like backwash...
Wrestlemania It was all grown up Backlash's tagline All Thrown up.
WCR #57 (3/30/07)- In a bizarre WCR, Jon Thomas fills in on the haiku. That deadbeat Brakestown He never pays his damn bills No man escapes my Jon Thoams
WCR #56 (3/23/07)- Hairy Wrestlemania Main Event! Billionaire Battle I'd pay one billion dollars to make this s*** stop!
WCR #55 (3/9/07)- No Haiku (Song)
Watch her walk Watch her talk Watch her compete Our Diva search tranny is packing some meat
She is brittle like Corn Flakes Always makes mistakes A match with the tranny means time for a piss break
That soft and furry mustache is too manly to touch To see her looking like Burt Reynolds Is really just too much
Chrous:
May balls run cold Christy Hemme save my soul The Tranny is the centerfold Tranny is the centerfold
(repeat chorus)
Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah
WCR #54 (3/2/07)- Blade loves the enhancement MTV adds in post production WSX Goodness Gracious Great Balls of CGI Fire!
WCR #53 (2/23/07)- All Grown up Wrestlemania Haiku. Wrestlemania All grow up hugh? Michael Jackson does not approve.
WCR #52 (2/9/07)- Haiku with Snitsky-filled goodness. What could be better Snitksy gotta great new look Mania Main Event.
WCR #51 (2/2/07)- Blade marks for WS. WSX I'd rather piss on their fence then watch other feds.
WCR #50 (1/26/07)- Blade explains the real meaning to the Royal Rumble. The Royal Rumble Every man for himself? Sounds like a circle jerk.
WCR #49 (1/19/07)- A humbled Blade is forced to read a listener's haiku.
Detroit Lions stink Demolition weren't that good I like to eat poop.
WCR #48 (1/12/07)- Balde wasn't too impressed with The View from RAW. Rosie and Donald The b**** ate a fudge whale the match sucked Moby's Dick.
2006
WCR #47 (12/15/06)- Yule-tide advice in a haiku from Blade. Christmas Time is here the new induction taught us don't f*** your sister.
WCR #46 (12/1/06)- Money, Money, Yeah, Yeah... Kramer and Cryme Tyme Hang me in a tree And stick a fork in my eye.
WCR #45 (11/17/06)- Blade survives and talks about McMahon's posterior. McMahon's cartoon ass He says it can do tricks Make it disappear!
WCR #44 (11/3/06)- WCR returns, Blade is killed by Corporal Kirschner, writes haiku.
I'm Corporal Kirschner I'm f***king alive damnit! My career is dead...Gah!!!
WCR #43 (10/13/06)- R.D. saves the day, haiku style! Hammer Valentine Greg has new employment Cigar Store Indian.
WCR #42 (9/29/06)- TNA Welcomes Kurt Angle, cause that is how he rolls. Six sides one Angle... Dixie forgot the ramp for Kurt's future wheelchair.
WCR #41 (9/22/06)- Blade's Tribute to the Boogeyman. He's the Boogeyman! And he's coming... ...to get his unemployment check!
WCR #40 (9/15/06)- Dr. Haiku talks about Test and his way with women. Why do chicks dig Test? Kelly's got the right answer. He's got a foot long dong.
WCR #39 (9/8/06)- Blade's tribute to Trish Goodbye Trish Stratus Its the final curtain I'll miss your meat curtain
WCR #38 (8/25/06)-Buy the book, or R.D.'s seed suffers. Our new book's coming Hope you buy it R.D. Jr. needs clean diapers.
WCR #37 (8/18/06)- No Haiku WWE Diva Search Finale
WCR #36 (8/11/06)- The First Anniversary of WrestleCrap Radio.
Hulk's got a bum knee He should have drank mommy's milk It does a Hulk good.
WCR #35 (7/28/06)- Blade hates the crossover appeal of the newest WWE brand.
Flair, Take, Then Kane EC Dub Extreme Cross-promotion Wrestling
WCR #34 (7/14/06)- Blade on the 2006 DIVA search.
Moronic Divas How will this class top last years? Leave it to Deever! (Leave it to Titty!)
WCR #33 (7/7/06)- Now with rhymin' action!
RVD's busted Robbie should've just said no Now we're stuck with Show.
WCR #32 (6/30/06)- No haiku? Try a 31 syllable Tanka! Buffalo!
Kelly's expose The only thing that has been exposed Is the simple fact that Mr. John Laurenaitis sucks as a talent scout.
WCR #31 (6/23/06)- Blade is afraid of bare male ass.
Too much bare male ass Was that RAW or The World Wrestling Enema?
WCR # 30 (6/16/06)- DX is a generation older and it shows.
DX Reunion What does DX stand for now? Depends Extra Strength
WCR # 29 (6/2/06)- Shakira Braxton talks about Double Kane.
There's another Kane He looks like a tard in drag Drag him off my t.v.
WCR #28 (4/28/06)- Blade waxes nostalgic on ECW.
EC Dub is back Beating a dead horse? More like banging a dead corpse.
WCR #27 (4/21/06)- Blade explains the McMahon vs God feud to us.
McMahonism Huh? May Vince soon be crucificed On a grapefuit tree
WCR #26 (4/14/06)- Blade goes to R.D.'s and waxes about Randy Orton.
RKO is Gone S*** related? Yeah, for s****ing on my Fridays
WCR #25 (4/7/06)- Triple H is a Master of His Universe.
Forget old Conan Here's Triple H as Gonad the Barbarian
WCR #24 (4/1/06)- April Fool's Show...In March.
What a crappy show Lee Marshall dumbass callers Yo, April Fool's Day
WCR #23 (3/17/06)- St. Patrick's Day, Funkedified Edition Haiku.
Verne being inducted Screw Cena's mumble Here's Verne's Hall of Fame Rumble
WCR #22 (3/10/06)- Blade discusses the newest nude WWE Diva in Playboy.
Candace in Playboy Another skank in the nude Yay, plastic funbags
WCR #21 (2/24/06)- No Haiku Vince Russo Interview Part II
WCR #20 (2/17/06) No Haiku Vince Russo Interview Part I
WCR #19 (2/3/06)- Blade mocks Edge for losing the title.
So Edge lost the belt He may be Rated R But his reign gets an F
WCR #18 (1/27/06)- Blade disses on the men in green.
They've got spirit...yay Spirit Squad's got spirit...yay They've got spirit...gay
WCR #17 (1/20/06)- Little Johnny is unemployed.
Run run Heidenreich Run away, live to anal rape some other day.
WCR #16 (1/13/06)- It's R.D.'s Birthday Bash
Congrats Edge- New Champ May your reign be more slid Than your limp live sex
WCR #15 (1/6/06)- The New Year finds Blade speechless or does it?
I missed RAW Monday No clue what to talk about Lita's boobs are huge
2005 (14 Episodes, 12 Haikus)
WCR #14 (12/9/09)- Blade breaks out holiday music to describe a firing.
Christy's been fired Hope she finds a job, or her butt will need food stamps
WCR #13 (12/2/05)- Blade discusses Ric Flair's recent problem.
Shame Nature Boy To be the man, do you have to throttle the man?
WCR #12 (11/18/05)- No Haiku This Week
R.I.P. Eddie Guerrero
WCR #11 (11/11/05)- Blade sends a fond farewell to Captain Charisma
Captain Charisma The WWE Has Burned You Out Three Words: Rest in Peeps
WCR #10 (10/28/05)- The real Triple H, The Haunted Halloween Haiku!
J.R.'s battered ass That was so painful, my poor eyes felt sodomized
WCR #9 (10/21/05)- A bizarre new wrestler has stolen Blade's heart.
The Boogeyman's here He wears a big plastic heart He has stolen mine
WCR #8 (10/14/05)- Blade thinks Nipple H is latest celeb possibly with child.
Stephanie is now blonde She kind of looks like Britney A pregnant Britney
WCR #7 (10/7/05)- Blade theorizes on what happened to Frankie.
Koko with stuffed bird Judging by Hunter's physique Trip's ate the real bird
WCR #6 (9/30/05)- CENSORED By SPIKE TV!
USA Network (Line censored by Spike TV) Jeff Jarrett's cornhole
WCR #5 (9/23/05)- Blade reviews the Warrior's exciting new DVD.
Oh Mr. Hellwig Forget (vacumming), pray that your new disc doesn't work
WCR # 4 (9/16/05)- A desperate plea from Blade Braxton.
Trish Stratus is back Trish, I beg you please, please, please Ditch the damn tranny!!!
WCR # 3 (8/27/05)- Matt Hardy is having a hard time.
Poor Old Matt Hardy Worker or Shoot You Ask? Try Shot as in your career.
WCR #2 (8/19/05)- Hulk Hogan Is Getting Up There...
Shawn Michaels, Hulkster Summerslam Big Main Event Will Hulk's Depends Leak?
WCR #1 (8/12/05)- No Haiku This Week
It took Blade a full week to get the awesome music.
|
|
bob
Salacious Crumb
The "other" Bob. FOC COURSE!
started the Madness Wars, Proudly the #1 Nana Hater on FAN
Posts: 78,549
|
Post by bob on Nov 11, 2005 11:40:05 GMT -5
this brings a tear to my eye....truely touching
|
|
Erik Majorwitz
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
I don't have a PS3.
Longest Crapper- Laying it across the table
Posts: 18,051
|
Post by Erik Majorwitz on Nov 11, 2005 11:46:21 GMT -5
this brings a tear to my eye....truely touching Didn't mean to choke you up Bob. I'm not the best when it comes to Haikus, but I'm typing it out the way Blade speaks it. Semper Fi, Erik Majorwitz
|
|
|
Post by Throwback on Nov 11, 2005 11:52:03 GMT -5
a haiko goes like this this 5 sylables then 7 then five again last time i checked WWE is seven sylables in itself sorry y2ejm good try tho
|
|
Erik Majorwitz
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
I don't have a PS3.
Longest Crapper- Laying it across the table
Posts: 18,051
|
Post by Erik Majorwitz on Nov 11, 2005 12:25:26 GMT -5
a haiko goes like this this 5 sylables then 7 then five again last time i checked WWE is seven sylables in itself sorry y2ejm good try tho Don't shoot the messenger... Semper Fi, Erik Majorwitz
|
|
|
Post by Blade Braxton on Nov 11, 2005 19:00:43 GMT -5
I'm honored by this thread! One thing though. The last line to this week's one was "Three words - Rest In Peeps." I'll miss Christian.
|
|
|
Post by Blade Braxton on Nov 11, 2005 19:04:42 GMT -5
a haiko goes like this this 5 sylables then 7 then five again last time i checked WWE is seven sylables in itself sorry y2ejm good try tho In my haikus, WWE is pronouned, "Dub, Dub, E." You see, three syllables!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
|
|
Post by Rocket N. Nine on Nov 11, 2005 19:48:39 GMT -5
In my haikus, WWE is pronouned, "Dub, Dub, E." You see, three syllables!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why, you beautiful vernacular twisting bastard.
|
|
|
Post by Mongo & Pepe: Back in Black on Nov 11, 2005 19:55:46 GMT -5
I'm honored by this thread! One thing though. The last line to this week's one was "Three words - Rest In Peeps." I'll miss Christian. I actually couldn't understand that one. I thought you said "Rest in Pete" as in St. Pete, as in St. Petersburg, FL, thinking maybe Christian lived there.
|
|
bob
Salacious Crumb
The "other" Bob. FOC COURSE!
started the Madness Wars, Proudly the #1 Nana Hater on FAN
Posts: 78,549
|
Post by bob on Nov 11, 2005 21:21:28 GMT -5
best thread EVER!!!!!!!!
|
|
Erik Majorwitz
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
I don't have a PS3.
Longest Crapper- Laying it across the table
Posts: 18,051
|
Post by Erik Majorwitz on Nov 12, 2005 1:53:50 GMT -5
I'm honored by this thread! One thing though. The last line to this week's one was "Three words - Rest In Peeps." I'll miss Christian. My fault Blade, I'll fix it immediately. Semper Fi, Erik Majorwitz
|
|
|
Post by viscera on Nov 12, 2005 8:52:32 GMT -5
a haiko goes like this this 5 sylables then 7 then five again last time i checked WWE is seven sylables in itself sorry y2ejm good try tho In my haikus, WWE is pronouned, "Dub, Dub, E." You see, three syllables!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow Blade... that is the greatest signature... and scariest signature I've seen. Even more than the guy with the fat chick pics in his.
|
|
Erik Majorwitz
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
I don't have a PS3.
Longest Crapper- Laying it across the table
Posts: 18,051
|
Post by Erik Majorwitz on Nov 12, 2005 12:23:12 GMT -5
This thread deserves first page status!
Semper Fi, Erik Majorwitz
|
|
bob
Salacious Crumb
The "other" Bob. FOC COURSE!
started the Madness Wars, Proudly the #1 Nana Hater on FAN
Posts: 78,549
|
Post by bob on Nov 12, 2005 12:55:41 GMT -5
I dunno.... those fat chick pics are horrifying [quote author=bladebraxton board=Wrestlecrap thread=1131716240 post=1131753882] In my haikus, WWE is pronouned, "Dub, Dub, E." You see, three syllables!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow Blade... that is the greatest signature... and scariest signature I've seen. Even more than the guy with the fat chick pics in his.[/quote]
|
|
Erik Majorwitz
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
I don't have a PS3.
Longest Crapper- Laying it across the table
Posts: 18,051
|
Post by Erik Majorwitz on Nov 15, 2005 16:29:01 GMT -5
Can a brother get a sticky?
Semper Fi, Erik Majorwitz
|
|
|
Post by V3rtigo on Nov 15, 2005 16:30:41 GMT -5
Can a brother get a sticky? Semper Fi, Erik Majorwitz I'd be careful asking for such things around here, you'll never know what you're gonna get....
|
|
Erik Majorwitz
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
I don't have a PS3.
Longest Crapper- Laying it across the table
Posts: 18,051
|
Post by Erik Majorwitz on Nov 17, 2005 9:24:49 GMT -5
Can a brother get a sticky? Semper Fi, Erik Majorwitz I'd be careful asking for such things around here, you'll never know what you're gonna get.... Yeah, I guess you can go with "get a sticky" in several directions, none of which sound too pleasing. Semper Fi, Erik Majorwitz
|
|
bob
Salacious Crumb
The "other" Bob. FOC COURSE!
started the Madness Wars, Proudly the #1 Nana Hater on FAN
Posts: 78,549
|
Post by bob on Nov 20, 2005 19:45:39 GMT -5
sadly no Haiku this week, however it was great to hear John Tena being upbeat
|
|
Erik Majorwitz
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
I don't have a PS3.
Longest Crapper- Laying it across the table
Posts: 18,051
|
Post by Erik Majorwitz on Nov 21, 2005 7:21:57 GMT -5
sadly no Haiku this week, however it was great to hear John Tena being upbeat Yeah, I guess I wasn't really in the mood for a haiku this week, but the interview with Mr. Tenta was superb. Semper Fi, Erik Majorwitz
|
|