Mozenrath
FANatic
Foppery and Whim
Speedy Speed Boy
Posts: 121,975
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Post by Mozenrath on Jul 17, 2019 6:04:52 GMT -5
The one that's worse is the one that's not right for you. No, seriously. I'm so over people saying what's right or normal, like life is one size fits all or something. No kidding. "keeping up with the joneses" is bad enough when it comes to spending habits, but it's even worse as a way of measuring your romantic life or other needs and desires. Not everyone needs or wants the same things, or at the least, at the same rates. Rushing it for the sake of meeting some imaginary quota or standard is a disaster waiting to happen.
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Post by realist on Jul 17, 2019 6:13:36 GMT -5
Divorce sucks. But get a good pre-nup and you will be ok. I advised a good friend of mine to get a pre-nup before his wedding and he tore into me. He felt super insulted that I would even suggest that there may come a day when he and his at the time fiancé didn't love each other anymore. So, I let it go. It wasn't my hill to die on. A little over a year later, they absolutely hate each other. They fight all the time. He calls me to vent. Sometimes, I think the only thing keeping them married is the fear of divorce. With all that being said? What's wrong with being single? I would rather live alone than live with someone who absolutely hates me and vice-versa.
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Post by Pooh Carlson on Jul 17, 2019 6:24:27 GMT -5
How would I know if it's worse getting divorced if I've never been married?
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Post by arrogantmodel on Jul 17, 2019 6:35:18 GMT -5
And since it's happened to me, and I've seen it happen to others...it scares the hell out of me to think that I would invest so much of my time, money, and life to build a life with somebody else...only for one day you wake up and they say, "I just don't love you anymore."
That's terrifying to me. When you're dating, that can be like, "Ok. Whatever." But being locked in a marriage where you can...as Eddie Murphy put it...lose half your shit. Again...no thank you.
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Sephiroth
Wade Wilson
Surviving
Posts: 29,316
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Post by Sephiroth on Jul 17, 2019 6:39:48 GMT -5
Divorce sucks. But get a good pre-nup and you will be ok. Ask Hulk Hogan
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Post by arrogantmodel on Jul 17, 2019 6:44:07 GMT -5
Divorce sucks. But get a good pre-nup and you will be ok. Ask Hulk Hogan I'm not rich by any stretch of the imagination, and the guy is totally batshit...but Kanye's "Gold Digger" should be required listening if anybody is thinking of proposing. 😁
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jul 17, 2019 7:37:58 GMT -5
I'm currently separated. Wife and I split up like 4 years ago but haven't bothered with the divorce because we don't even want to talk to each other to do it.
I must say that making someone the center of your life for a dozen years and then one day she doesn't want to be with you anymore hurts a lot worse and makes life a lot more difficult than if you never get married.
As a matter of fact, I've always been pretty much anti-marriage. I loved my wife with all my heart but the only reason I actually married her was because she was in the military and it got us a free house and being married. If you don't have a situation like that, there is no reason to get married. You can be just as in love with someone you don't have a legally binding agreement with.
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Dr. T is an alien
Patti Mayonnaise
Knows when to hold them, knows when to fold them
I've been found out!
Posts: 31,516
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Post by Dr. T is an alien on Jul 17, 2019 8:28:33 GMT -5
I think I would be pretty crushed if the current Mrs. T decided that being the ex-wife of a resident of the planet of Balthadiren 5, which you Earthlings know it as Tau Ceti f (that's right - I am actually sticking to my forum gimmick today) would be an upgrade. I don't think I am in danger of that, mind you, but it would shatter me all the same. I feel bad for those of you who have experienced it.
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unc40
Dennis Stamp
Posts: 3,656
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Post by unc40 on Jul 17, 2019 9:37:20 GMT -5
Never been married and as I get older I realize it was the best decision that I ever made.
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Post by Tenshigure on Jul 17, 2019 12:09:55 GMT -5
I'm going to say Option C is the worst: getting married and STAYING married when you should be getting divorced. As someone who went through divorce years ago, the initial heartbreak of your significant other giving up on the relationship is one thing; but it is a whole different realm dragging the dead relationship through the dirt and broken glass in futile attempts to "save the marriage" when it was long since dead.
It's your own safe choice to decide whether or not to get married; for your own mental health and sanity, divorce can be far better for you than the alternative.
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Post by MC Blowfish on Jul 17, 2019 12:23:02 GMT -5
This thread is really sad. I'm sorry that you all have had horrible experiences, but that's not always the case. If you go into a relationship or marriage and think the worse, I feel bad for you.
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Post by realist on Jul 17, 2019 13:47:43 GMT -5
This thread is really sad. I'm sorry that you all have had horrible experiences, but that's not always the case. If you go into a relationship or marriage and think the worse, I feel bad for you. I don't go into relationships expecting the worst. I also don't go into them blindly either. I just happen to think that it makes sense for both parties involved to get a pre-nuptial agreement before marriage. Why not resolve any issues that could potentially creep up and become really bitter while you are at your most in love with one another? I mean, I consider myself a good driver and I am confident in my driving abilities. But I still have insurance, you know? I feel bad for the guy who goes into a marriage head over heels in love, scoffs at the idea of a pre-nup, and within a few years discovers that his Mrs. does not love him anymore.
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Ultimo Gallos
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Dreams SUCK!Nightmares live FOREVER!
Posts: 15,322
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Post by Ultimo Gallos on Jul 17, 2019 14:02:14 GMT -5
Divorce sucks. But get a good pre-nup and you will be ok. Ask Hulk Hogan DId Hogan have a pre-nup? I thought he didn't which is why Linda go so much.
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Post by arrogantmodel on Jul 17, 2019 15:21:59 GMT -5
Also, I have to tell my mom, who is only 56, that it ain't the old days anymore. It's not everybody's goal to settle down, get married, pop out babies, and work some boring ass job for forty years. Times change. People want to be mature and financially secure before making major decisions like those.
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Post by MC Blowfish on Jul 17, 2019 15:35:59 GMT -5
This thread is really sad. I'm sorry that you all have had horrible experiences, but that's not always the case. If you go into a relationship or marriage and think the worse, I feel bad for you. I don't go into relationships expecting the worst. I also don't go into them blindly either. I just happen to think that it makes sense for both parties involved to get a pre-nuptial agreement before marriage. Why not resolve any issues that could potentially creep up and become really bitter while you are at your most in love with one another? I mean, I consider myself a good driver and I am confident in my driving abilities. But I still have insurance, you know? I feel bad for the guy who goes into a marriage head over heels in love, scoffs at the idea of a pre-nup, and within a few years discovers that his Mrs. does not love him anymore. To me that seems like such a jaded way to look at life and relationships. I've been in plenty of relationships that didn't work out for various reasons, but I didn't walk into marriage expecting things to go south.
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Post by realist on Jul 17, 2019 16:13:14 GMT -5
I don't go into relationships expecting the worst. I also don't go into them blindly either. I just happen to think that it makes sense for both parties involved to get a pre-nuptial agreement before marriage. Why not resolve any issues that could potentially creep up and become really bitter while you are at your most in love with one another? I mean, I consider myself a good driver and I am confident in my driving abilities. But I still have insurance, you know? I feel bad for the guy who goes into a marriage head over heels in love, scoffs at the idea of a pre-nup, and within a few years discovers that his Mrs. does not love him anymore. To me that seems like such a jaded way to look at life and relationships. I've been in plenty of relationships that didn't work out for various reasons, but I didn't walk into marriage expecting things to go south. While I disagree, I can respect and somewhat even admire your outlook.
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Post by Kevin Hamilton on Jul 17, 2019 16:26:38 GMT -5
Kevin jokes aside, I don't think either is 'bad'.
I'm a dude that's never been married&also the child of divorce. I don't think anyone sets out to go "How can I cause myself and someone else the most amount of pain possible?" yet at least half of marriages end in divorce.
At the same time, as a society we have this weird checklist of stuff you're 'supposed' to do.
Don't judge life by that. Figure out your own path.
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unc40
Dennis Stamp
Posts: 3,656
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Post by unc40 on Jul 18, 2019 9:26:49 GMT -5
I don't like the idea of a pre-nup because it means your already expecting the worse and besides pre-nups don't always hold up in court.
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Dub H
Crow T. Robot
Captain Pixel: the Game Master
I ❤ Aniki
Posts: 48,465
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Post by Dub H on Jul 18, 2019 9:56:44 GMT -5
I never was one to believe in marriage anyway
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Post by realist on Jul 18, 2019 10:06:03 GMT -5
I don't like the idea of a pre-nup because it means your already expecting the worse and besides pre-nups don't always hold up in court. I do not say this to be disrespectful or facetious or anything like that and I apologize in advance if this comes off that way, but I am legitimately curious about your opinion because it is so diametrically opposed to my own. I honestly look at a pre-nup no differently than car insurance. Every time I get on the road, I think that I am going to be safe. However, I also like having that safety net just in case of the unforeseen.
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