Desi
Dennis Stamp
Do Not Approve
Posts: 4,522
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Post by Desi on Nov 25, 2007 14:08:45 GMT -5
This thread is legendary. I wish I had the wit to properly contribute though.
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Post by ChitownKnight on Nov 25, 2007 14:33:49 GMT -5
Batista gets a World title shot against Edge. Teddy Long gives Batista a title match at Armegeddon. Batista then hits Edge with the title belt to win the WHC. Teddy Long then says that Batista has to defend his title against Edge at the Rumble. Batista says that instead of giving Edge his rematch he throws a party at the Rumble. Batista throws a party, Edge interrupts saying he never invoked his rematch clause. Edge then gets a Batista Bomb from Big Dave. Teddy Long then comes to the ring and fires Edge for interfiering with Batista's party. Cole then says Edge got what he deserves. Batista then dances for 5 minuites before having Teddy Suck his dick. Micheal Cole then asks to be pleasured by Batista.
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Post by Citizen Snips on Nov 25, 2007 14:38:04 GMT -5
Royal Rumble 2008: Matt Hardy makes an emotional return and shocks the world by winning the Rumble. As he's celebrating, Batista comes out. Big Dave refuses to defend the title against Hardy at Wrestlemania. Batista then reveals that a certain chemical in his pyro was engineered to target the human appendix, making it inflammed. Batista then jumps in the ring, and begins kidney-punching the exhausted Hardy until both kidneys pop. Standing over the dying Hardy, Batista begins doing his pryo dance, while singing the jingle to the board game "Operation".
Batista then runs back down the entranceway, shoving down all the doctors trying to help Hardy. He runs home and begins filming an online reality show called "Big Dave Will Never Die Because He's Main-Evented a Wrestlemania!" It's basically Batista banging Lita, Ashley and Matt Hardy's mom, while his daughter throws spaghetti all over Jeff Hardy's paintings.
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Post by TromboneMan on Nov 25, 2007 14:40:41 GMT -5
Royal Rumble 2008: Matt Hardy makes an emotional return and shocks the world by winning the Rumble. As he's celebrating, Batista comes out. Big Dave refuses to defend the title against Hardy at Wrestlemania. Batista then reveals that a certain chemical in his pyro was engineered to target the human appendix, making it inflammed. Batista then jumps in the ring, and begins kidney-punching the exhausted Hardy until both kidneys pop. Standing over the dying Hardy, Batista begins doing his pryo dance, while singing the jingle to the board game "Operation". Batista then runs back down the entranceway, shoving down all the doctors trying to help Hardy. He runs home and begins filming an online reality show called "Big Dave Will Never Die Because He's Main-Evented a Wrestlemania!" It's basically Batista banging Lita, Ashley and Matt Hardy's mom, while his daughter throws spaghetti all over Jeff Hardy's paintings. *Crowd pops*
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Johnny D
Don Corleone
Creature of the Night Forever
Posts: 2,095
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Post by Johnny D on Nov 25, 2007 15:34:15 GMT -5
Okay, first of all, while Taker is a babyface, he is by no means THE typical babyface. He's suppose to be evil, and that makes perfect sense. Undertaker can attack anyone he damn well pleases. QFT indeed.
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Post by Sharpy Snow on Nov 25, 2007 16:51:22 GMT -5
Smackdown starts with Edge taking flowers to Vickie. Edge says that he can never replace Eddie, but he will always but there for her. Crowd Boo's.
Meanwhile, Batista is storming around backstage throwing Stan and his group of friends about for no reason. He runs into Kenny Dykstra and Victoria. Kenny: Hey Dave. I don't suppose you know any good resturants that I can take Victoria to tonight do you? Dave: Oh yeah. It's called BACKBREAKER! Dave breaks Kenny's back and procedes to smurf a screaming Victoria as a helpless Kenny screams for someone to stop this madman. Cole: That damn Victoria and Kenny got what they deserved. JBL: MICHAEL! HE'S RAPING AN INNOCENT WOMEN! WE'VE GOT TO GO STOP HIM! Cole: Shut up smurf head! D8< I'm trying to enjoy this. Crowd Pops.
Wrestlemania promo
Mark Henry is trying to console Victoria as Kenny is being put on a stretcher. "Big Dave Has A Big Penith" is wrote on his face in permenant marker. Mark Henry tracks down Batista. Mark: WHAT THE HELL DAVE? YOU CAN'T GET AWAY WITH VIOLATING A WOMAN LIKE THAT! Dave shoots Mark Henry in the shoulder. Dave leaves Mark screaming in pain. The lights go out in the room. Mark Henry wakes up gagged up in Undertakers lair nailed to his symbol. As Undertaker tortures Mark for attempting to assist a rape victim. Crowd pops louder.
Jamie Noble, D&D and MVP are leaving the arena to get out of Batista's way (Cole points out that Dave just took out that evil bathturd Funaki because he had the nerve to say 'Hello') D&D with Cherry get in their car and start to drive out of the arena. A 4X4 crushs the car leaving the 3 with serious injuries. *Crowd pops*
As we come back from commercial, Cole tells us that Dave has just smurfed a near lifeless Cherry. Jamie and Montel had the nerve to try and stop him but now their getting what they deserved.
We go back to the car park. MVP's head is getting slammed repeatedly in a door as Jamie can be seen hanging in the background gasping for breath. Crowd has an insane pop.
Vickie and Edge go to the ring. Vickie says due to the 7 acts of attempted murder and 2 acts of rape, she has no choice to strip him of the title and fire him. The crowd boos ALOT. Young girls in the audience can be seen crying. One young man in H92 has put a gun to his head and has threatened to kill himself.
The Animal drops a light from the scaffolding, landing on Edge and electrocuting him in the process. Vickie screams for security. Dave gets the mike and says that he took out all the security because they tried to help an old woman across the street. The crowd pop. Dave then procedes to punch Vickie and smurf her in the ring to a huge pop from the crowd.
Cole: That damn Vickie. She's getting what she deserved.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Nov 25, 2007 16:56:49 GMT -5
Mark Henry is trying to console Victoria as Kenny is being put on a stretcher. "Big Dave Has A Big Penith" is wrote on his face in permenant marker. i laughed at this part
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Post by Citizen Snips on Nov 25, 2007 17:01:29 GMT -5
Vickie comes out to start the show. Crowd boos for 23 minutes. Vickie explains that while she's dating Edge, she doesn't want people to think she's forgotten her late husband. A moving tribute video to Eddie Guerrero plays.
The video is suddenly cut off as the theme from "Ghostbusters" plays over the PA. Big Dave Batista, wearing the full Ghostbusters costume with proto-pack, comes dancing out. Everyone cheers. Batista leads the crowd in singing while Vickie cries in the ring. Big Dave reaches under the ring, hands another proto-pack to Michael Cole. The two enter the ring and cross the streams, vaporizing Vickie Guerrero. WWE sets a new ratings record. The rest of the show simply has Michael Cole and the crowd chanting:
"Who ya gonna call?" "BA-TISTA!!!!"
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SAJ Forth
Wade Wilson
Jamaican WCF Crazy!
Half Man-Half Amazing
Posts: 27,214
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Post by SAJ Forth on Nov 25, 2007 23:43:56 GMT -5
Bahahah that was easily the funniest thing I've read in a while, the mental image simply rules, you could've just ended it at that. You know a line like that is useless without photos(hop). It's Not great, but...
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Post by Red 'n' Black Reggie on Nov 26, 2007 12:30:35 GMT -5
smackdown opens with edge at a confession booth, begging a priest to forgive him of his sins, and claiming that the enxt thing he's gonna do is give a month's wages to the local orphanage. all of a sudden, batista's music hits, and michael cole's voice booms over the speaker system, saying "here...comes...the animal!". batista rides in on a chariot of orphan heads, and then does his pyro dances, causing a line of choirboys to explode. he beigns talking, only to be interrupted by a group of nuns sining hymns. he turn sround and tackles one through the alter, before batista bombing the others and torching their unconcious bodies. micheal cole pipes in with "that's what happens when you mess with the animla!", leading to a standing ovation from the crowd. batista then spears edge through a wall, and leaves, shouting that he is "off for some ethnic cleansing, yeah!". the crowd goes wild.
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Tapout
Hank Scorpio
WWE Creative(TM)
W.W.W.Y.K.I.
Posts: 6,919
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Post by Tapout on Nov 26, 2007 14:26:01 GMT -5
Vickie comes out to start the show. Crowd boos for 23 minutes. Vickie explains that while she's dating Edge, she doesn't want people to think she's forgotten her late husband. A moving tribute video to Eddie Guerrero plays. The video is suddenly cut off as the theme from "Ghostbusters" plays over the PA. Big Dave Batista, wearing the full Ghostbusters costume with proto-pack, comes dancing out. Everyone cheers. Batista leads the crowd in singing while Vickie cries in the ring. Big Dave reaches under the ring, hands another proto-pack to Michael Cole. The two enter the ring and cross the streams, vaporizing Vickie Guerrero. WWE sets a new ratings record. The rest of the show simply has Michael Cole and the crowd chanting: "Who ya gonna call?" "BA-TISTA!!!!" I was afraid this thread was getting a little away from having fun and becoming too mean-spirited, but this is just comedy gold.
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Post by Palatial Regalia on Nov 26, 2007 14:58:06 GMT -5
Vickie comes out to start the show. Crowd boos for 23 minutes. Vickie explains that while she's dating Edge, she doesn't want people to think she's forgotten her late husband. A moving tribute video to Eddie Guerrero plays. The video is suddenly cut off as the theme from "Ghostbusters" plays over the PA. Big Dave Batista, wearing the full Ghostbusters costume with proto-pack, comes dancing out. Everyone cheers. Batista leads the crowd in singing while Vickie cries in the ring. Big Dave reaches under the ring, hands another proto-pack to Michael Cole. The two enter the ring and cross the streams, vaporizing Vickie Guerrero. WWE sets a new ratings record. The rest of the show simply has Michael Cole and the crowd chanting: "Who ya gonna call?" "BA-TISTA!!!!" I was afraid this thread was getting a little away from having fun and becoming too mean-spirited, but this is just comedy gold. This thread should NEVER die. My favorite parts are the comments by Michael Cole.
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Post by CrazySting on Nov 26, 2007 15:01:07 GMT -5
Maybe anytime Batista mentions how wrong Vickie/Edge are, Edge should point out Dave was banging Melina behind Morrison's back.
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Tapout
Hank Scorpio
WWE Creative(TM)
W.W.W.Y.K.I.
Posts: 6,919
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Post by Tapout on Nov 26, 2007 15:32:25 GMT -5
Maybe anytime Batista mentions how wrong Vickie/Edge are, Edge should point out Dave was banging Melina behind Morrison's back. And right on cue, Chuck Palumbo is there to rev up his motorcycle real loud so we can't hear the rest of the story!
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Post by Metalheadbanger Man on Nov 26, 2007 15:44:05 GMT -5
Edge comes out, grabs a mic and states that he cannot go through with the Vickie storyline out of sheer respect for his dear late friend Eddie. He vows to change his ways and become a better person.
Cue "I WALK FOR MILES INSIDE THIS PIT OF DANGER!"
Batista runs out with a sword, enters the ring and decapitates Edge to a huge pop. He then Batista Bombs Edge's lifeless torso through a table. Vickie runs out screaming and crying, but Batista hits her with a spinebuster and hits the crappiest looking Frog Splash ever before shouting about how nobody will take his title. The crowd has been popping for this entire segment. Michael Cole gets out of the commentary position, runs up to Dave and hugs him for several minutes.
JBL: "That is impressive!"
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annie83
Mike the Goon
Do not drink the chocolate milk
Posts: 15
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Post by annie83 on Nov 27, 2007 2:52:23 GMT -5
I thought this thread was about Jamie Noble, a few pages later and I see how wrong I was
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