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Post by They Adam Bradley on Mar 15, 2008 22:48:37 GMT -5
just a simple question.......im curious as to what people beleive
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Post by Mattification on Mar 15, 2008 22:55:18 GMT -5
I`ve been cheated on. Finished it that day and that was that.
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Post by Cela on Mar 15, 2008 22:55:38 GMT -5
You know its iffy. I'm naturally pretty jealous, so any betrayal would probably make me not want to be around them. (It happened once before, just sort of turned away and didn't look back).
Though, if it were a one time thing, I may take them back. Everyone makes mistakes, and better believe I'd take a revenge smurf.
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Post by Captain Wonderful on Mar 15, 2008 22:59:45 GMT -5
No. Not ever.
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Post by They Adam Bradley on Mar 15, 2008 23:00:52 GMT -5
ahh a revenge f***......
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Post by acressl on Mar 15, 2008 23:03:28 GMT -5
Nope. I'm sick of cheaters. Relationship cheaters. Baseball cheaters. Hell, life cheaters. Everybody's a bunch of cheaters. I understand cheating, but not when there is honest love there. I couldn't be with someone else and not see them or whatever. It's cutthroat now though. All of it.
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Post by Psy on Mar 15, 2008 23:08:45 GMT -5
Depends on the relationship before that, to be honest. Also how bad the betrayal was.
I've been cheated on before a couple times by different girls, once I took her back, the other time I ditched her. The one I took back ended up breaking up with me a few months later because I was "too nice". The one I ditched ended up joining the Coast Guard. She is in Alaska now.
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Post by Silent Brad on Mar 15, 2008 23:19:26 GMT -5
I'm a firm believer in the "once a cheater always a cheater" idea. If you cheat on me, I get rid of you from my entire life.
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Post by HMARK Center on Mar 15, 2008 23:31:45 GMT -5
Don't be so judgmental, everyone.
If you truly love somebody, you leave a door open for forgiveness in almost ANY situation.
Now, I do stress the word "almost" as well as the word "any". Certain things are impossible to work around, and to argue against that would be naive.
For example, if I was with somebody who I thought had a certain type of personality, but I ended up learning they were an entirely different person than I had been lead to think they were, that'd be something I'd have a near-impossible time squaring away. Like, say, if I thought I was with a sweet, cooperative person, but they ended up being controlling and paranoid.
But as for cheating, it's entirely dependent on the circumstances.
If I truly care about somebody, and they're honest with me about something they did that could hurt me, then I'll be very appreciative for their honesty. There's pain at first over the truth, no doubt, but if I'm in a strong relationship, then I view it as my (and her) responsibility to work on problems we may have, to be vocal and open about what we both might be neglecting in our relationship, and what we can do to fix it.
If it turns out it's something that we can't fix, then it's best to break up and move on.
However, it if IS something we can fix, then our relationship could well end up stronger because of our efforts towards repairing it.
My parents went through that years and years before they were married...and now they've been together for almost 35 years, and married for almost 24, and they couldn't be happier.
The idea that "a cheater is always a cheater" is simply a myopic take on the reality of relationships. It's over-simplifying, seeing a multi-colored situation in black and white, because it's easier to do that than to actually address a situation that could force us to confront some of our own personal shortcomings.
Again, I'm not saying ALL cheaters need to be welcomed back with open arms; if you're with somebody who's straight-up using you as a platform to get laid with others, then, by all means, show them the door and demonstrate that you're not a doormat.
But with most other cases, it pays not to jump to conclusions, nor to paint morality in black and white.
That all being said, I'll also point out this: I would be much more upset if I were ever "emotionally" cheated on than if my significant other simply had a one night stand with somebody else. Simple sex isn't the end of the world; it's the idea of essentially being told "I'd rather spend time with <insert so-and-so's name here> and I'll open up to him and be myself around him more than I'll be with you" that really irks me.
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Rube
Hank Scorpio
Sammich Bogart
It's always the same and it's always different.
Posts: 5,619
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Post by Rube on Mar 15, 2008 23:37:03 GMT -5
As a cheater who's been taken back only to cheat on her again, no. We don't change.  |
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Professor Chaos
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Bringer of Destruction and Maker of Doom
Posts: 16,332
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Post by Professor Chaos on Mar 15, 2008 23:54:01 GMT -5
I don't have a problem if she cheats as long as she's open and safe about it. Leaves the door open for me to dabble when something better comes along also.
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Post by kittylimits on Mar 15, 2008 23:54:27 GMT -5
It depends on the person they cheated on me with. If it was some random girl they met sometime and won't ever see her again, then I would not mind. If it was someone who they know and will see regularly obviously I would have a problem. If it was a dude, then I wouldn't mind. I can't offer what a man can  |
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Post by Mayonnaise on Mar 16, 2008 0:00:52 GMT -5
I think it depends on the relationship, when they cheated and, who they cheated on me with.
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Post by Macho Dude Handy Damage on Mar 16, 2008 1:37:04 GMT -5
I think HMark is AMAZIN'! is on to something here.
as well as Badass Kitty Limits.
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Post by jamin90 on Mar 16, 2008 4:59:30 GMT -5
I've taken someone back once they cheated. Girl cheated on me with her best mate...another girl. I stayed in the relationship. Then it happened again. And I stayed. Then I thought "Wait...what the hell is going on here?" and cheated on her. Found out I really didn't care, so I broke up with her
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Post by Captain Wonderful on Mar 16, 2008 5:06:32 GMT -5
Don't be so judgmental, everyone. If you truly love somebody, you leave a door open for forgiveness in almost ANY situation. If you truly love somebody, you'd never cheat on them. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I believe any given instance of cheating can be traced directly to either an obvious or subconscious dissatisfaction in the cheater's current relationship an a desire for something new. It's NEVER as simple as "sorry, I was drunk," or "I tripped and fell into her. Then out of her. Then into her again." It's as simple as "if you love ME, why was that not my wiener that was just in you?" Then again, I've never been on a date, so what do I know? |
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Post by angryfan on Mar 16, 2008 5:30:59 GMT -5
Don't be so judgmental, everyone. If you truly love somebody, you leave a door open for forgiveness in almost ANY situation. If you truly love somebody, you'd never cheat on them. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I believe any given instance of cheating can be traced directly to either an obvious or subconscious dissatisfaction in the cheater's current relationship an a desire for something new. It's NEVER as simple as "sorry, I was drunk," or "I tripped and fell into her. Then out of her. Then into her again." It's as simple as "if you love ME, why was that not my wiener that was just in you?" Then again, I've never been on a date, so what do I know? What about "we're trying a new style of push up"? Does that count? In all seriousness, as somebody who's been cheated on several times, I agree with you, there are always underlying motives, and it's never just "oh damn, whoopsie". |
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Bones58
Don Corleone
Shuup Baby, I know it!
Posts: 1,474
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Post by Bones58 on Mar 16, 2008 6:23:54 GMT -5
The way I see it, if you cheat Boyfriend/Girlfriend, that's probably the biggest indicator for you to end the relationship and move on. None of this" please take me back" smurf.
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Post by HMARK Center on Mar 16, 2008 7:28:21 GMT -5
Don't be so judgmental, everyone. If you truly love somebody, you leave a door open for forgiveness in almost ANY situation. If you truly love somebody, you'd never cheat on them. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I believe any given instance of cheating can be traced directly to either an obvious or subconscious dissatisfaction in the cheater's current relationship an a desire for something new. It's NEVER as simple as "sorry, I was drunk," or "I tripped and fell into her. Then out of her. Then into her again." It's as simple as "if you love ME, why was that not my wiener that was just in you?" Then again, I've never been on a date, so what do I know? The problem is that it's NOT as simple as that. People grow, people change, people can become better or worse. If you hold everything against a person forever, you close yourself off the possibility of said person becoming a better individual. Again, like I said, not ALL cheating can be worked around, but some certainly can, and relationships can become stronger because of the healing process. |
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Ben Wyatt
Crow T. Robot
Are You Gonna Go My Way?
I don't get it. At all. It's kind of a small horse, I mean what am I missing? Am I crazy?
Posts: 41,515
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Post by Ben Wyatt on Mar 16, 2008 7:44:19 GMT -5
Nope.
Im not a kid anymore. Im 26, an adult, and am about to get married in May. If my fiance cheated it would be over.
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