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Post by The Tank on Jun 28, 2008 20:45:24 GMT -5
Nigel McGuinness
A brief video montage of Nigel follows, showing shots of him stood in front of various famous landmarks around the World. The landmarks are obviously bad blue-screen special effects and the music is remiscent of an 80s power ballad, giving the vignette an somewhat "cheesy" feel. Then comes the title:
"A Rough Guide To Nigel"
We cut to shot of Nigel stood on The Strip in Las Vegas, Nevada...
Nigel (Excited Tone): "Welcome, welcome, welcome! I am Nigel McGuinness-"
*smiles inanely*
Nigel:" -And you are extremely priviledged to be viewing the latest edition of "The Rough Guide". And what a setting we have for tonight's programme! Known tothe Americans as Vegasbabyyeah but to everyone else - Las Vegas!"
*Becomes serious*
Nigel: "But before we talk business, there's a small matter I have to discuss. Mr. Pogo."
*pauses briefly*
Nigel: "...Actually I'm not gonna dwell on Pogo, poor soul. The guy's lost his spring and taken some stick recently and, now, he's currently being evaluated by the country's "top men"... So until the Tag Tournament gets nearer, this subject is off-limits."
*slightly loses composure*
Nigel: *sniff* "Get better soon, Pogo, you know I love you man!"
*clenches fist and thumps in chest in mark of respect - regains composure after a slight pause*
Nigel: "So... Vegas... yeah... here we are, on the world-renown Strip. I mean, this place needs no introduction. Round here are giants in the gambler's playground. Names like Bellagio, MGM Grand, Luxor - they are the proverbial meccas for those who worship a bit of green paper - that's the good old US Dollar if you didn't get that reference, which wouldn't surprise me.
*Snickers*
Nigel: "Hey, even Billy the Cameraman got that one, didn't ya Bill?"
*camera "nods" slowly*
Nigel: "This - Vegas - is a testament to America, to the World even. Where else can a nobody walk into a building broke and leave a king? Where else is there such a combination of entertainment, glamour and joy? Where else could a musical great called Elvis Presley make his comeback?"
*pauses then looks straight into the camera*
Nigel: "Well NOT HERE!"
*pauses again to think*
Nigel: "... maybe that's not strictly true of Elvis...ahem...BUT you get the point. Las freakin' Vegas is a sham, a symbol of how people always want to take the easy way out. It's a way to avoid the years of hard work that it takes to get to the top. And believe me, it's taken me some time to get to the top, not years maybe, but I am the exception to the rule."
*becoming increasingly animated*
Nigel: "There are no laughs in this godforsaken town, just the sound of tills cashing in quarters and dimes. And yet people criticise the casinos for emphasising the gambling spirit in the desperate and greedy. You losers bring it on yourself and you have the sheer audacity to blame the people whom openly admit that the odds are completely stacked against you."
*smiles cheekily*
Nigel: "Now unless you're a over-hyped freak from West Newbury, no-one can possibly overcome odds that exist in Vegas. And that's why I have never or will ever gamble. I mean, why the hell spend all your life earning money just to fund the Bellagio's penchant for a nice new fountain every year?"
*turns and points at various casinos around him*
Nigel: "If it sounds like I'm preaching then consider me your local priest. Look at these places, if the people who lost so much money making this neon crapfest so bright actually spent some of that time working out, they'd not only be better off - they might even come close to being the Adonis I am. I even put some work in with Billy recently, didn't I?
*Camera "nods" slowly*
Nigel: "Now instead of him being a five-foot freak, he's a 200 pound killing machine - all thanks to my tutoring. And not even an injection in sight!"
Nigel: "In this world, people are always looking for short cuts to the top. It's laziness, it's greed, it's the human condition - Y'know what - I don't care what excuse people want to make. Vegas just symbolises the juiced-up glitz that makes cheating acceptable."
*Nigel pulls out a running sheet from the last FPEL event from his trouser pocket*
Nigel: "Now see this? This is the proof that on my singles debut I beat three superstars of international quality. This was down to my great, natural conditioning and intense drive I have - a spirit that is definitely missing in modern wrestling. I see it in the FPEL - competitors that just want to talk trash in some cool yet edgy promo and expect to move instantly to the top of the pecking order. All glitz... and no substance... just like Vegas."
*puts sheet back in pocket and pulls out a dollar bill*
Nigel: "That's all for today, I'm going to go bait a hobo with a dollar. My name's Nigel McGuinness."
*smiles as camera fades out*
ENDS
As usual, greatness in piss-colored text. ;D Don't ever stop these promos, they're incredible.
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Post by bigdaddyfive on Jun 29, 2008 13:42:36 GMT -5
You're all far too kind...
*blushes*
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Johnny B. Decent
Patti Mayonnaise
Had one once
Everybody's Favorite Arizonian.
Posts: 31,075
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Post by Johnny B. Decent on Jun 29, 2008 18:06:06 GMT -5
Okay, a quick announcement or two.
1. Our next PPV is called "Rocket's Red Glare."
2. The two matches scheduled for it, is Jumbo Tsuruta VS Stan Hansen for the Dragonweight Title, and the Winner of the Tag Tournament defending their Hell's Angels Tag tiltes against the team with the secondmost points amassed.
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Post by The Tank on Jun 29, 2008 18:31:50 GMT -5
Raw's greatest theme has become our new opening...Alright, who's idea was it to play that atrocious Monday Night Raw the...what? We're live?
Good evening! This is Lord Alfred Hayes, welcoming you once again to An Inch Longer Than Average, FPEL's in-depth coverage special. We are coming to you live from Pheonix, Arizona, and as usual, it is scorching hot, because our "illustrious" general manager won't shill out for air conditioning.Oh, I don't know, Alfred, it's not that hot in here.It's almost 120 degrees in here! How can you think it's no....DEAR LORD, WOMAN! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!!!Well, it's like you said, it's too hot in here. I just took a pro-active approach to it.That explains a lot. Now go get dressed.Why?BECAUSE THIS IS A PROFESSIONAL SHOW! WE'RE TRYING TO BE CLASSY HERE! YOU DON'T SEE ME WALKING AROUND IN MY UNDERWEAR, DO YOU!!!.........and now I can't get the image out of my head. You win, Alfred, I'll be right back.Now then, before we continue, I'd like to give a proper introduction my my new co-host. Due to a contractual claim with FPEL Live, Joey Styles and Bobby Heenan have recalled the services of Gene Okerlund, costing us our field reporter. However, as you just saw, we managed to pick up a new interviewer on the chea....er....we paid top dollar to obtain the services of one of wrestling's current top field reporters. And here she comes. Ladies and gentlemen, our newest field reporter, former TNA backstage reporter, Leticia Cline.*canned applause* Happy now?I suppose so. For god's sake, what were you thinking?I was thinking that it doesn't really matter what I'm wearing. This is a recap show, nobody's watc.....MOVING ON! Anyways, the focus of tonight's show is the upcoming Tag Team Tournament, with the winner becoming the first ever FPEL Hell's Angels Tag Team Championships.
We have four interviews scheduled for tonight, and we have a special announcement regarding the General Manager position. For those of you who missed the events yesterday, here's a quick video recap:*Suddenly, the lights go off. They flicker back on for a moment, just long enough to notice that Blassie is no longer holding the singapore cane.* *The arena is bathed in a red light, with Goldberg and the entire Pirate Army taken down, bloodied, druids armed with black singapore canes standing over them. Blassie is still in the ring, questioning what is going on. GM Amigo is missing...* *The lights come back on, and Christopher Daniels is standing behind Blassie, fully robed, face shrouded by the hood, Blassie's cane in his hand, broken and bloody. Blassie turns around, and is horrified at the sight of the crimson, splintered weapon in The Fallen Angel's hand. Daniels points to an area next to the ramp, still shrouded in darkness. A spotlight covers the area, revealing General Manager CHIKARAmigo chained to an ankh in the vein of The Phenom and his "symbol." Daniels produces a mic from beneath the robe in his open hand.* What the hell do you think you're doing? You can't go around attacking my other clients like this! You can't attack the General Manager! This is not what I agreed to when I brought you into the FPEL!He has been sacrificed. He has only begun the path to salvation. The Final Prophecy will be fulfilled, and this is only the first step. So it has been written, so it shall come to pass. This is the gospel, and this is fate...*The lights fade again, and when they return, Daniels and his minions have vanished. Blassie makes his way outside to assist the medical staff, both with Goldberg and the Pirate Army, as the General Manager is lowered from the ankh and taken backstage for medical attendance.* As of now, the whereabouts of Christopher Daniels are unknown, as are the identities of his accomplices. Both FPEL staff and the authorities are looking into this heinous act, but so far, nothing is confirmed.Well what do you know? She can actually be professional. Maybe there's hope for this show yet...And what is that suppos...AND now it's time for our first interview, so it's time for you to earn your paycheck, Leticia. Get to work.Starting to hate this job already... Joining us at this time is the current TNA X-Division Champion. He goes by many nicknames, The Definition of Definition, Maple Leaf Muscle, Little Petey Pump. Give it up for The Canadian Destroyer, Petey Williams!O Canada...Great to be here, Leticia. Good to see you, by the way.Thanks, Petey. Now if you don't mind, we're short on time here, so we're going to have to make this a quick interview.*chuckles* Wasting your time...that's fitting.
The Miracle Violence Connection...Baisaiku Arrow...Perfect Strangers...why even bother?
I ask you this because sooner or later you're going to be up against me, Petey Williams. Yes, that's correct, THE Petey Williams. Former heavyweight champion, reigning TNA X Division champ, winner of ECWA's 2005 Super 8 Tournament. I ask you why!
Like I said before my partner does not matter. Pair me up alongside David Arquette, I'll still win. Give me Brooke Hogan, I shall still win. You name it, I'll take it. No matter who, the outcome will always remain the same. That outcome...is VICTORY.
Maybe I shouldn't be asking you why. Perhaps, you need to ask yourself. Maybe all of you need to look into your mirrors, and say...'why do I want to put myself up against a superstar of Petey Williams' caliber'. I think, that would be best. Not just for your own health, your own dignity, your own pride, but for my time.
Such is precious to me, and won't be wasted.
Please, don't waste my time.*Petey Williams walks out* Wait, Petey, hold on a minute! Okay, I guess he doesn't want to know who his partner is going to be. At the Tag Title Tournament, Petey Williams will be teaming with none other than the Japanese legend, Giant Baba!Well, that will certainly be a formidable team. That combination of strength and speed should prove to put up quite a fight. Our second team for the evening is The Wolves Den, the team of Genichiro Tenryu and Rikidozan.Unfortunately, they couldn't be here with us tonight. But, they've sent in a video package for the show. Let's roll the footage.*Gong sounds, screen shows the Kanji symbol for Honor, then Strength, then Respect, as a voiceover repeats each word.* *Cut to a shot of Tenryu holding a punching bag as Rikidozan chops away at it.* *Gary Hart steps in front of the camera* Hart: As you can see, my charges are hard at work. See, the Fire Pro Extreme League is holding a little tournament. Both these gentlemen are bound and determined to win that title. I simply know exactly how to get them there. This won't be any problem for the Wolves' Den.*Rikidozan stands beside Hart as Tenryu examines the punching bag* Rikidozan: (translated from Japanese) I've seen our opponents for this event. And none will stand up to our might. Are we supposed to fear Milano Collection? Do you think we lose sleep over Danshoku Dino?*Tenryu stands on the other side of Hart* Tenryu: Even men like Goldberg, Vader, Bruiser Brody, and Kevin Nash will be chopped down at the feet of Genichiro Tenryu and Rikidozan. This tournament belongs to us.Fire Pro dominance belongs to us.After this tournament, all will know to fear The Wolves' Den.Strong words from a strong team. Rikidozan and Tenryu, two Japanese legends that should definitely make an impact on the Tag Tournament.Our next guest has something in common with you, Alfred.He doesn't sell himself for three dollars a night?And what the hell is THAT supposed to mean? I charge a lot more than th..I mean, I've never done that!MOVING ON! I know who you're talking about, and the thing our next guest has in common with myself is that he is a fellow Brit. Ladies and gentlemen, Nigel McGuinness!*Nigel McGuinness enters the set from off-screen, he is carrying a large covered object under one arm* Alf! It's such a pleasure to meet a fellow bastion of English strength! I'm sure it's a honour for you too to finally meet the future of Pro-Wrestling and the soon-to-be co-holder of the Tag Team Championships.Well, despite your unquestionable heritage, it does appear that obtaining a partner that is sound of mind is proving to be quite the challenge for you. We are all aware of the crisis that Mr. Pogo, your partner in "Nigel and The Sickles", seems to be going through at the moment. What information can you provide us regarding this situation?*Nigel ponders for a second then places the large covered object against the backdrop* As you know, I sent Pogo - under advice from the doctor - out to wrestler in a singles match in order for him to regain his self-belief. Unfortunately, "Sick" Nick Mondo was a little too sick for him and he lost after a bloody and brutal battle at FPEL Live. Now, instead of curing Pogo, I fear we have made the situation worse - I haven't been able to speak to him since.So where does that leave you for the Tournament? Will you still be able to participate? Will you need a ne-*Nigel cuts off Hayes mid-sentence with his hand* Be just and fear not, Lord Alfred. For whilst Pogo maybe be A.W.O.L., he will be be here in some form. Watch-*Nigel pulls the black cover off the object to reveal a life-sized cardboard cutout of Mr. Pogo* You see, your lordship, no single person is bigger than 'Nigel and The Sickles' and I refuse to let the actions of one band member destroy the greatness that are destined to have. You ever heard of Pete Docherty, Alf?Erm... the singer?That's right, the drugged-up, smacked-up and messed-up loser who was the frontman for "The Libertines" - he was so much of a problem that the rest of the band - SNAP! - they kicked him out. But he went on through infamy to become more recognisable than the band that made him. That god damn smackhead made a success out of his failure.Yes but what relevance does that have to your.... artwork you've brought?Because kicking Mr. Pogo out of the team will simply serve to inflate his ego and drive him further into despair. What is needed is to embarrass him - personally. And that's what this life-sized reproduction.. which cost me a few bob, mind... is for.*Brushes down the cut-out with his hand* If Pogo doesn't show up, then the cut out wrestles in his place. He may think that by being away he can save face but I guarantee, I will tag with this inanimate object before I even dream of disbanding 'Nigel and The Sickles' and risk MY future.Hayes: But what if Mr. Pogo shows up?Then he'll be welcomed back into the fold with arms wide open, sickles at the ready and this-*points to cut-out of Mr. Pogo* -This will be used to get a refund because as you should know, the most important thing in life is to always keep a receipt!*Nigel picks up the cut-out and makes off to the edge of the set* Wait, Nigel, what about...Nigel McGuinness and a cutout of Mr. Pogo could be the Tag Team Champions? Don't tell me that Vince Russo is the new General Manager...Leticia, the FPEL board of directors isn't THAT stupid. They may be too cheap to pay for air conditioning, but they're not retarded. Let's just continue the show, shall we?Our final guests for the show are actually here together. This team has been called by our analysts as the most unlikely team to win the Tag Tournament, simply because they are involved in one of the most heated feuds in the FPEL, and so far, it's seemingly an endless fight. But the random drawings have put these two men together. Joining us at this time are the team of "Perfect Strangers", Yuji Nagata and Naomichi Marufuji.
Keep in mind that this interview is pre-taped, and may not reflect their current views on the situation. Roll the footage.Marufuji: So it seems that CHIKARAmegio that stupid son of a bitch has decided to RIG the "random draw" so that he can get his prize pig Nakata or Nakito or Sakito or Makito or whatever his name is. So CHIKARAmuppet and Niknakata you both better get on board the marafuji coatails otherwise Im going to beat you so bad your mum wouldn't be able to recognize you Nagata: Now, lets get something straight between us, you mealy-mouthed son of a bitch, if we "Rigged" the drawing, we sure as **** wouldn't have picked you. Secondly, the only place you're coattails are going is to the opening card again and again, pal. And thirdly, if you even think that once we are done touring the "Naomichi Marufuji Jobs To Everybody Under The Sun Tour of '08" and you try to back-stab or ambush me, I'm going to kick your head off your putrid shoulders, and use your skull as a appetizer dish for my parties. Got me, bubba?Once again, Naomichi Marufuji proves to us all that Hooked on Phonics doesn't work.It is now time for our biggest announcement so far. Our new General Manager will be making his debut tonight, and even Leticia and myself are in the dark as to the identity of the new GM.All we know is that the new General Manager is a wrestling legend, and he will be permanently taking the spot of General Manager, with CHIKARAmigo acting as a permanent consultant. And now, it's time to introduce the new General Manager.Wrestling legend, eh? Well then, I suppose we're safe from the GM being Russo.*The new GM walks in. Alfred Hayes and Leticia are both stunned* I don't believe it...you...I thought you were dead...what are you doing here! You can't be in any condition to run this show! Who in their right mind would even think of signing YOU to be the new General Manager?!?!?! This atrocity won't stand with the FPEL board of di...WILL YOU STOP!!!Ladies and Gentlemen, our new General Manager, Gorilla Monsoon!It's great to be in the FPEL, Leticia. And to Lord Alfred, I'll just tell you this. Remember, I was WWF President, and I had so much backstage pull with BOTH Vince McMahons that you can trust me when I say I'm more than qualified for the job.Well, unfortunately for you, Mr. Monsoon, we're out of time for tonight. You'll have to make a more official statement on the next edition of FPEL Live!Just a minute, Hayes. I'm in charge now, and I decide when these shows are started or finished, not you. I'm going to wait until FPEL Live to make my official statement, but I've got something to say that needs to be said right now.
Christopher Daniels, if you think you can pull the same shit on me that you did on CHIKARAmigo, think again. If you even THINK of jumping me, I assure you, you're not going to be getting fired, you're not going to be getting arrested, you're not even going to be getting buried, because there's not going to be enough of you left to bury. If you try this Undertaker stuff on me, you're going to find out what happens when you mess with the Manchurian Demon.There goes our new General Manager, taking charge and making some strong statements already.
Don't forget to watch the next edition of FPEL Live, everybody. And don't forget to check out the next edition of An Inch Longer than Average!
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Post by bigdaddyfive on Jun 29, 2008 18:32:12 GMT -5
When is the Tag Tourney being held and does it take place across more than one "night"?
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Johnny B. Decent
Patti Mayonnaise
Had one once
Everybody's Favorite Arizonian.
Posts: 31,075
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Post by Johnny B. Decent on Jun 29, 2008 18:35:34 GMT -5
When is the Tag Tourney being held and does it take place across more than one "night"? Tomorrow. It will take about a week.
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Post by Hensley on Jun 29, 2008 21:21:34 GMT -5
Just out of curiosity, but is there a specific person we should use for interviews?
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Johnny B. Decent
Patti Mayonnaise
Had one once
Everybody's Favorite Arizonian.
Posts: 31,075
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Post by Johnny B. Decent on Jun 29, 2008 21:41:21 GMT -5
Just out of curiosity, but is there a specific person we should use for interviews? Letica is fine.
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Lupin the Third
Patti Mayonnaise
I'm sorry.....I love you. *boot to the head*--3rd most culpable in the jixing of NXT, D'oh!
Join the Dark Order....
Posts: 36,332
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Post by Lupin the Third on Jun 29, 2008 21:47:05 GMT -5
Just out of curiosity, but is there a specific person we should use for interviews? Nope. If you got a good interview brewing with either person, go with it. Edit: Also, if anyone wants to be booked on the next FPEL Live!, give me a PM.
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Post by The Tank on Jun 29, 2008 22:24:16 GMT -5
Just out of curiosity, but is there a specific person we should use for interviews? Nope. If you got a good interview brewing with either person, go with it. Edit: Also, if anyone wants to be booked on the next FPEL Live!, give me a PM. That goes for An Inch Longer than Average as well. (BTW Speed, you owe me a plug on FPEL Live. I did it for you)
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Post by Tea & Crumpets on Jun 30, 2008 10:10:13 GMT -5
*We see Milano in the exact same shopping mall AGAIN. Shops have again been covered with new signs.*
Milano: Hello……I am…..Milano Collection AT…..And welcome to……The Fire Plo Fashionability Houlr……….Numbelr Thlee!!!! *He puts one thumb up this time, grinning cheesily.*
Milano: Filrst, I want to talk to you about the benefits of what may be…..the gleatest invention to ever hit mankind!!!!!
*He holds up a boombox*
Milano: Yes, the boombox. Now, this is such a gleat invention for 2 leasons. One, it lets evlybody know that my name is
*He switches the boombox on, and the beginning of his theme music plays*
Boombox: MILANO!!! MILANO!!! MILANO!!!
He switches the boombox off*
Milano: Second, it lets evlybody know, as I stloll along with my music blalrling, just what it sounds like to hear gleatness walking by!! Fashion Tip of the Week- don’t be a loser, buy a boombox.
*He pitches the boombox to the side and puts up 2 thumbs, grinning cheesily*
Milano: And now, onto our next oldelr of business, or should that be, oldelr of melchandising!!!! Please welcome this week’s guest stalr, the only Holseman to not yet appear on the show, Jun Akiyama!!!
*canned applause and wolf-whistles are piped in as Milano walks over to Akiyama, who is stood stiffly in the emporium.*
Milano: Now then, Jun helre is going to be palt of the toulnament to clown the filst tag team champions next week! Jun, what is youlr team with oulr fellow Holseman Jushin Liger called? Akiyama *monotone*:………Thunder in Paradise.
Milano: Thundelr in Paladise. That is of coulse, the title of a movie stalling none other than Hulk Hogan himself! Anothelr man to appealr on this show, the show folr the hippest, coolest and most tlendy things in the lestling world!! So why he was on it I don’t know, as Hogan’s caleelr, well.
*Cut to the first FPFH* *Hulk Hogan Pops up* Hogan: IT’S NOT HOT!??
*Cut back*
Milano: Anyway, it is a movie title team. Just like me and Liger are togethelr known as Italian Ligelrman. And since you’lre named after a film, you should emblace that, shouldn’t you Jun?!
Akiyama:………..
Milano:The collect answelr is yes!!!
Akiyama:…*sigh*……yes.
Milano: So, let us give you a Movie Makeovelr!!!! And since I too am part of a B-Movie duo, I need a “Movie Makeovelr!!!!” as well.
Akiyama:……………
Milano: So now, let us go and expelience a Milano Movie Makeovelr!!!!
*They go to enter a shop, but the camera quickly pans away, as it shows Liger, a bandaged Misawa, Mr Fuji and Black Tiger all working frantically to cover a sign reading “Salvatori’s Fishmongers” with a sign reading “Cinema Costume Shop”.
Milano: *under his breath* Thleee……..two…..One……*normal* Now let us go and expelience a Milano Movie Makeovelr!! Leady, Jun?
Akiyama *monotone*: …….OK……..
*They enter the shop, the sign now sufficiently affixed. Liger and Fuji can still be seen scampering off-camera.*
*A graphic of a clock with the arms whizzing round appears, and the camera then cuts to Milano and Akiyama stood outside the shop. Milano is wearing a makeshift Italian Spiderman costume, while Akiyama wears a bad blonde skullet wig, a fake moustache, and clothing resembling Hogan’s Thunder in Paradise character.*
Milano: Thele! Now, don’t you feel leady to take on the wold with Jushin Ligelr!!?
Akiyama *monotone*: ….I suppose……
Milano: But filrst, we need to get you into the mindset required for Thundelr in Paladise! You know what that means don’t you?
Akiyama: ……..No………
Milano: It means, it’s time for a Movie Moment Le-enactment! I shall play a bad guy, and you can be Olange Goblin’s chalactelr.
Akiyama:………….*sigh*……..
*The camera has a melt-away effect to the next scene. Hogan-Akiyama has Milano, still in his Italian Spiderman garb, grabbed by the scruff of his neck. We hear Fuji’s voice off camera.
Fuji:...2…..1….go!
*Milano starts wriggling and sobbing*
Akiyama *very woodenly*: ….Grr……What’s…..that…..smell?
Milano: D-d-doooookieeee!!!!!
*Akiyama pulls a very poorly acted disgusted face, looking thoroughly fed up.*
Akiyama *woodenly*: ………..Dookie?
*The camera melts away back to the shopping mall. Both men stand there, Milano with his invisible dog and boombox, with his typical coat over the top of his Italian Spiderman gear. Akiyama also has his coat over his Thunder in Paradise costume.*
Milano: Well! Thelre you have it!! Akiyama is now leady, to lip the lest of the loster to shleds next week! Him and Ligelr will bling the tag team belts to the Foulr Holsemen of Japan! Those belts are highly desilable, highly in fashion, so it is only light that they come to us. So, I am you Number 1 fashion Gulu, Milano Collection AT.
Akiyama *monotone*: And i…..*sigh*……Am Mr……..Blue Thunder in Paradise....*sigh*...Jun Akiyama.
Milano: Saying good night, and good shopping to you all!!!!
*Milano turns his boombox back on, while Akiyama facepalms*
*fade out to Milano raving to his entrance music*
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Post by The Tank on Jun 30, 2008 10:35:20 GMT -5
*We see Milano in the exact same shopping mall AGAIN. Shops have again been covered with new signs.* Milano: Hello……I am…..Milano Collection AT…..And welcome to……The Fire Plo Fashionability Houlr……….Numbelr Thlee!!!!*He puts one thumb up this time, grinning cheesily.* Milano: Filrst, I want to talk to you about the benefits of what may be…..the gleatest invention to ever hit mankind!!!!!*He holds up a boombox* Milano: Yes, the boombox. Now, this is such a gleat invention for 2 leasons. One, it lets evlybody know that my name is*He switches the boombox on, and the beginning of his theme music plays* Boombox: MILANO!!! MILANO!!! MILANO!!!He switches the boombox off* Milano: Second, it lets evlybody know, as I stloll along with my music blalrling, just what it sounds like to hear gleatness walking by!! Fashion Tip of the Week- don’t be a loser, buy a boombox.*He pitches the boombox to the side and puts up 2 thumbs, grinning cheesily* Milano: And now, onto our next oldelr of business, or should that be, oldelr of melchandising!!!! Please welcome this week’s guest stalr, the only Holseman to not yet appear on the show, Jun Akiyama!!!*canned applause and wolf-whistles are piped in as Milano walks over to Akiyama, who is stood stiffly in the emporium.* Milano: Now then, Jun helre is going to be palt of the toulnament to clown the filst tag team champions next week! Jun, what is youlr team with oulr fellow Holseman Jushin Liger called?Akiyama *monotone*: ………Thunder in Paradise.Milano: Thundelr in Paladise. That is of coulse, the title of a movie stalling none other than Hulk Hogan himself! Anothelr man to appealr on this show, the show folr the hippest, coolest and most tlendy things in the lestling world!! So why he was on it I don’t know, as Hogan’s caleelr, well.*Cut to the first FPFH* *Hulk Hogan Pops up* Hogan: IT’S NOT HOT!??*Cut back* Milano: Anyway, it is a movie title team. Just like me and Liger are togethelr known as Italian Ligelrman. And since you’lre named after a film, you should emblace that, shouldn’t you Jun?!Akiyama: ………..Milano: The collect answelr is yes!!!Akiyama :…*sigh*……yes.Milano: So, let us give you a Movie Makeovelr!!!! And since I too am part of a B-Movie duo, I need a “Movie Makeovelr!!!!” as well.Akiyama: ……………Milano: So now, let us go and expelience a Milano Movie Makeovelr!!!!*They go to enter a shop, but the camera quickly pans away, as it shows Liger, a bandaged Misawa, Mr Fuji and Black Tiger all working frantically to cover a sign reading “Salvatori’s Fishmongers” with a sign reading “Cinema Costume Shop”. Milano: *under his breath* Thleee……..two…..One……*normal* Now let us go and expelience a Milano Movie Makeovelr!! Leady, Jun?Akiyama *monotone*: …….OK……..*They enter the shop, the sign now sufficiently affixed. Liger and Fuji can still be seen scampering off-camera.* *A graphic of a clock with the arms whizzing round appears, and the camera then cuts to Milano and Akiyama stood outside the shop. Milano is wearing a makeshift Italian Spiderman costume, while Akiyama wears a bad blonde skullet wig, a fake moustache, and clothing resembling Hogan’s Thunder in Paradise character.* Milano: Thele! Now, don’t you feel leady to take on the wold with Jushin Ligelr!!?Akiyama *monotone*: ….I suppose……Milano: But filrst, we need to get you into the mindset required for Thundelr in Paladise! You know what that means don’t you?Akiyama: ……..No………Milano: It means, it’s time for a Movie Moment Le-enactment! I shall play a bad guy, and you can be Olange Goblin’s chalactelr.Akiyama: ………….*sigh*……..*The camera has a melt-away effect to the next scene. Hogan-Akiyama has Milano, still in his Italian Spiderman garb, grabbed by the scruff of his neck. We hear Fuji’s voice off camera. Fuji :...2…..1….go!*Milano starts wriggling and sobbing* Akiyama *very woodenly*: ….Grr……What’s…..that…..smell?Milano: D-d-doooookieeee!!!!!*Akiyama pulls a very poorly acted disgusted face, looking thoroughly fed up.* Akiyama *woodenly*: ………..Dookie?*The camera melts away back to the shopping mall. Both men stand there, Milano with his invisible dog and boombox, with his typical coat over the top of his Italian Spiderman gear. Akiyama also has his coat over his Thunder in Paradise costume.* Milano: Well! Thelre you have it!! Akiyama is now leady, to lip the lest of the loster to shleds next week! Him and Ligelr will bling the tag team belts to the Foulr Holsemen of Japan! Those belts are highly desilable, highly in fashion, so it is only light that they come to us. So, I am you Number 1 fashion Gulu, Milano Collection AT.Akiyama *monotone*: And i…..*sigh*……Am Mr……..Blue Thunder in Paradise....*sigh*...Jun Akiyama.Milano: Saying good night, and good shopping to you all!!!!*Milano turns his boombox back on, while Akiyama facepalms* *fade out to Milano raving to his entrance music* God damnit, I love this league so much, just for the shit like this.
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Lupin the Third
Patti Mayonnaise
I'm sorry.....I love you. *boot to the head*--3rd most culpable in the jixing of NXT, D'oh!
Join the Dark Order....
Posts: 36,332
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Post by Lupin the Third on Jun 30, 2008 10:56:53 GMT -5
**Quick Heads up**
Since there was only one major storyline update recently, the next FPEL Live! will be more based with matches than anything. So, if you want a match, just give me a whistle!
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Lupin the Third
Patti Mayonnaise
I'm sorry.....I love you. *boot to the head*--3rd most culpable in the jixing of NXT, D'oh!
Join the Dark Order....
Posts: 36,332
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Post by Lupin the Third on Jun 30, 2008 11:20:15 GMT -5
Wait. Your partner can get CRITICALED even if he's not the legal man? Holy frickin' crap!
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Post by The Tank on Jun 30, 2008 11:28:08 GMT -5
2. Chain Lariats d. Jungle Fever at 25:17 when Bruiser Brody used a King Kong Knee Drop on Tiger Mask I. This was a glorified handicap match, as Kenta Kobashi did absouletly nothing during the entire match. However, Brody did a good job at beating up Tiger Mask, and keeping Kamala at bay. And just look at what happened? Kobashi didn't NEED to do anything!
This is just proof of why DomiNation is the greatest faction in FPEL...hell, in WRESTLING history. If just one of us can win a handicap match like nothing, just imagine how bad that beating would've been if Kobashi actually helped!
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Post by Tea & Crumpets on Jun 30, 2008 11:59:01 GMT -5
3. Thunder In Paradise d. Sex And Violence at 21:18 when Jun Akiyama used a Exploder on Danshoku Dino. Despite his miraclous win over Hulk Hogan, niether man of Sex And Violence was able to use that momentum to their advantage, being smashed on all across the arena by Thunder In Paradise, who weren't exactly afarid to use a few chairs. Look at that! Look at that! Milano's Movie Makeover did its job. Akiyama is now a skullet-sporting, corny acting war machine. And Liger is clearly not letting his anime and Super Sentai addictions get in the way of his wrestling.
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chiefdom
Don Corleone
1/2 of the FPEL Tag Team Champions
Posts: 1,523
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Post by chiefdom on Jun 30, 2008 13:49:59 GMT -5
5. Big And Tall d. Unstoppable at 25:45 when Kevin Nash used a Powerbomb Whip on Bill Goldberg. Despite Akira Taue being CRITICALED at 16:25, Kevin Nash was able to hold off a two-on-one situation, bumping Vader off the apron and planting Goldberg with the Powerbomb Whip for the seemingly impossible win. Excellent... not bad for the "weak link" of the group - good job nash... Truce or not... First win went to the BDFP
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Post by The Tank on Jun 30, 2008 14:55:50 GMT -5
5. Big And Tall d. Unstoppable at 25:45 when Kevin Nash used a Powerbomb Whip on Bill Goldberg. Despite Akira Taue being CRITICALED at 16:25, Kevin Nash was able to hold off a two-on-one situation, bumping Vader off the apron and planting Goldberg with the Powerbomb Whip for the seemingly impossible win. Excellent... not bad for the "weak link" of the group - good job nash... Truce or not... First win went to the BDFP*sigh* Well, I'm not gonna deny it; tonight, you were the better team. Nice job.*extends hand* Just remember: next time, we're pulling out the victory.
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chiefdom
Don Corleone
1/2 of the FPEL Tag Team Champions
Posts: 1,523
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Post by chiefdom on Jun 30, 2008 15:43:00 GMT -5
So does the top team after the round robin win the belts? or the top 2 face off for 1 last match? or is this for tournament seeding?
*i know this was probably mentioned, i just cant find it...*
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Post by The Tank on Jun 30, 2008 16:09:14 GMT -5
So does the top team after the round robin win the belts? or the top 2 face off for 1 last match? or is this for tournament seeding? *i know this was probably mentioned, i just cant find it...* The Heavyweight Title was the two contenders with the highest scores facing off, so the Tag Titles are probably going to be the same way.
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