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Post by Chrysta on Nov 5, 2005 3:09:01 GMT -5
*Chrysta is backstage, preparing for her match. She is wearing a new ring attire. Ms. White walks in.*
White: Chrysta, hey, you ready.
Chrysta: Ms. White, I'm sure you already know the answer to that question.
White: Oh, right...I saw you were facing some cavegirl?
Chrysta: Amazing, isn't it? All in some attempt to put over some new promotion that not even the most loyal Indy fan would be familiar with.
*White approaches Chrysta further*
White: Well, one thing's for sure...she's definitely not getting my piece of Eskimo Pie!*giggle*
*Insert note of no emotions on Chrysta's face here*
Chrysta: I'm sorry?
White: Um, nothing...but, you know, the Connection said they're going to do ANYTHING to take me out. Aren't you worried?
*Chrysta pauses for a second, looking out into space.*
Chrysta: Ms. White...in the time you've been my manager...I see you as a family member...a person I was never able to protect or defend...because of my family...
White: Your family?
Chrysta: My mother and father...they divorced, and my mother and myself were forced to the streets. It was after she died I began to grow so cold...
White: Oh, Chrysta...I'm so so-
Chrysta: Ms. White! Do not take pity on me! I must be ready for my match!
*Chrysta walks off. Ms White stares after her.*
White: *sigh* So cold...I think she needs to be...'heated up' a bit...
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Nov 5, 2005 4:01:16 GMT -5
*As we come back from commercial Jaide is standing in the ring. He is a mountain of a man pacing crazily up & down the ring. Party Starter is playing & Spaz is coming down the ramp. Jaide comes out to meet him & the two start to brawl on the ramp. Jaide picks up Spaz & Powerslams him on the steel. The crowd are booing madly as Jaide stomps away on Spaz. Spaz fights his way to his feet & starts to punch away at Jaide. The ref is trying to get the two into the ring to officially start the match & Jaide starts to argue. Spaz takes this opportunity to hit a big Down Under DDT on Jaide. Spaz pulls a groggy Jiade to his feet & rolls him into the ring. The Ref finally rings the bell & Spaz goes for a cover.*
1 2 NO!!
*Jaide kicks out. Spaz & Jaide get up & charge at each other, both clothesline each other to the mat. The ref starts the count & Spaz fights up to his feet & grasb Jaide's legs looking for the Sydney Cloverleaf. Spaz is trying to lock it on but Jaide fights out & kicks Spaz away as he bounces back Spaz levels Jaide with an elbow to the face. Jaide falls out of the ring. He gets up & Spaz comes off the ropes with a Springboard Plancha.*
Crowd: HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!
*The ref starts the count & at six Spaz climbs back into the ring at 8 Jaide is in as well & both men trade punches. Spaz ducks Jaide & hits a big release German Suplex. Jaide is up & charges at Spaz but this time he hits a Belly To Belly Overhead Suplex. The crowd cheer Spaz's display of wrestling prowess & he signals to the Spazphiles the end is here. Jaide is up & Spaz lifts him up & nails The Shockwave in the centre of the ring.*
1 2 3!
RA: Here is your winner Spaz!!
*The crowd cheer as Spaz grabs a mic.*
S: Eddie, you are down 2-1! Your days as OX Champ are numbered. Get ready to feel The Shockwave. Believe The Hype Eddie your time is nearly up.
*Party Starter plays as we cut to commercial.*
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Mr. Zombie
Don Corleone
The Original Chris Farley
Posts: 1,526
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Post by Mr. Zombie on Nov 5, 2005 4:12:49 GMT -5
*Back at ringside Booker T's music goes off, but out comes....Dave Coulier?
*Coulier stops at the top of the ramp and air guitars until a large firewall pyro goes off behind him, continues down the ramp, and then does a mock Booker T 5 times/raise the roof motion to even more pyro, then at last makes his way into the ring, and grabs the mic. He's wearing a black and white fHo shirt.
Coulier: Well well well, its been a long time. Its been a very long time. A lot of you are probably asking yourselves "What is Uncle Joey doing here? This isn't Full House? This isn't TGIF! Why is he here?". Well, residents of whatever city this is, I'll tell you what I'm doing here. A lot of you don't know about my past. Before I ever failed miserably as a comedian...before I ever fondled my first Olsen Twin, I was a professional wrestler. Yes, me....Big Sexy Dave Coulier. I was the next big thing. I held gold in every small promotion I was in. I ended mens careers. I was an animal. I was on my way to the TOP!
Crowd: Dead Silence
Coulier: On my way up, I met a guy that was almost as good as myself. He was young, he was hungry, he was athletic. He was cut out for the big time, just like I was. We were both from the projects, and we'd both seen our share of gang violence, and we'd both been in and out of jail in our youth. We had a lot in common. So I asked him, hey do you want to be a tag team. Thats how it started. Yes, long before he was ever in Harlem Heat or 5 time WCW champion, Booker T was teamed up with me! We were the Compton Connection.
Crowd: Most of them have gotten up to use the bathroom
Coulier: Long story short, after I took Booker under my wing, he stole my thunder. He got called up to the big time, and I didn't. After I made him into what he was, he left and forgot about me. For the longest time I sat at home and watched as he went on to stardom, and I was left wondering what could have been. I decided to leave wrestling and turn to a career where I could receive even bigger heat: stand up comedy. But I would never forget. Booker T, I hate you.
Coulier: So I'm here tonight for two reasons. well, make that three. One, I need money. Two, I'm here to end Booker T's career, because I hate him. Well, lets make that 4 things. Three, i'm here to do some generally heelish things because I'm a huge heel. Heel. Did I mention I'm a feel and you should boo me? Four: I'm here to announce that I'm taking over. For everyone at home, for everyone here in attendence, I got two words for ya....."Got Wood?"
*Drops the mic and walks out of the ring to no heat at all
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Limey
Unicron
It's been awhile.
Posts: 3,062
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Post by Limey on Nov 5, 2005 7:00:56 GMT -5
*"RIP" hits, and Limey is out, accompanied by Carla O Woe. He and Carla throw up the horns, and make their way to the ring. They get into the ring, and throw up the horns. He gets into the ring for his first singles match in a while.
A war siren is heard, and continues to wail as The Gas Creature appears, clad in a grey jumpsuit and wearing a gas mask. The siren accompanies itself with a rudimentary drum beat as The Gas Creature makes its way to the ring. It gets in and throws its arms up menacingly.
The bell sounds and the match is underway. Limey circles the Creature, the Creature standing there observing Limey. Limey runs at the Creature for a tie-up, but the Creature shoves Limey away. Limey hits a handspring up, and runs at the creature for a clothesline. The Creature hits a powerslam on Limey, and drops a fist onto him. The Creature runs off the ropes, as Limey rolls to his side, The Creature bounds over Limey, hitting the other side of the ropes. Limey gets to his feet, and leaps up to the Creature, wrapping his legs around for a Hurricanrana...NO!! The Creature counters with a powerbomb!! Limey writhes in pain before summoning all his strength and again handspringing to his feet. Limey proceeds to make the "bring it" gesture. The Creature, annoyed at Limey, runs at him with a big boot. Limey counters by stepping to the side, and grabbing the leg of the Creature, lifting him over his head in a Cradle Suplex!!
The Creature, confused, gets up with the aid of the ropes, and wails (A la Kamala) like a wounded beast. Limey runs at the Creature, and the creature counters by lifting Limey over his shoulders. Limey manages to grab hold of the ropes, and he lands squarely on the apron. Limey then grabs the creature, and locks in a sleeper hold. The Creaure hits a few elbows to the gut of Limey before Limey releases the hold. The Creature then hits a few punches to the head of Limey before hitting a thumb to the eye. Limey lets go of the rope with one hand to see to his eye whilst the Creature bounces off the ropes on the other side, charging at Limey with a boot! However, Limey dodges the boot, and locks in a grapple! He lifts up the Creature in a suplex-type manouver, looking to lift the creature out of the ring, but at the last minute, he tilts forward, prompting the Creature to fall on his face in the centre of the ring! The Creature lifts his face off the mat, right when Limey leaps to the ropes with a springboard, leaping off at the Creature with a front dropkick to the face!!!
The Creature falls back, and immediately tries to get up to his feet. Limey waits patiently for the Creature to get up before once again doing the "bring it" gesture, and throwing up the horns to the crowd's delight. The Creature, now furious at Limey's attitude, charges at Limey and tries a spear, which Limey counters by falling flat, and grabbing the Gas Mask of the creature!!!! The Creature flails his arms wildly on the mat as Limey lifts the Creature to his feet, and swiftly spins the mask right around so that the creature's mask is facing the wrong way!! The Creature stumbles around blindly, feeling the ropes to check to see if Limey is there. He eventually finds the ref, and attacks him in a rage. However, Limey is right behind the Creature, and stealthily approaches him, grabbing him in a back grapple and lifting him high for a German suplex!! The Creature manages to spin the mask the right way, only to see Limey standing right in front of him, arms folded. The Creature tries to strike at Limey, but Limey swiftly hits the STO!!!
Limey then picks up the Creature by the head, and calls for the Twist O' Lime!!! He knees the Creature in the gut, and then lifts him high, bringing him down for the TWIST O' LIME!!!! Limey goes for the pin!
1, 2, 3!!!
Winner: Limey!
*Post-match, Carla gets into the ring, and she and Limey throw up the horns. Limey then exits the ring, accompanied by Carla....until the image of Flex Magnificent appears onscreen. He is holding up a tub of Ben and Jerry's ice cream.*
Flex: Heh heh. Remembah zeese little heepees, Limeeee? I zink you do. If my guess is cawrect, you saved up yaw entire life savings to go to Vermont to see zem. Izzn't zat pathetic, Limee? A "hahd-rawker" like yourself beeing reduced to hang out vit your heepee friends?
*Limey stands there stunned. Flex turns over the tub to reveal an autograph, reading "To Limey, thanks for the Mullberries tickets! B+J!"*
Flex: Ohh, and look! Zey signed your ice-cream tub! Vasn't zat nice of zem?
(Limey stands there, frustrated. He then closes his eyes, and walks slowly to the back, Carla points at the scream and yells at Flex.)
Carla: YOU KNOW THOSE AREN'T REAL, FLEX! JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE, YOU HEAR??
Flex: (A little disappointed, but maintains his cool) Vell, alright, so I didn't get to him zis time. I vill, though. I VILL break you, Limee. And zere's plenty more vere zis tub came from. You had better believe me on zat.
*Flex laughs maliciously as we fade to a commercial.*
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Deamon Cohln
Don Corleone
AND THAT'S THE GODDAMN TRUTH!
Posts: 1,962
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Post by Deamon Cohln on Nov 5, 2005 9:59:15 GMT -5
*Deamon Cohln is talking to one of the assistants in the back.*
Deamon: God dude, what is up with these JWC guys, they keep getting they're asses handed to them. I got a match....aft...er......
*Just then a very large guy walks by them both. He has long black hair and the only thing we see is his back.*
Deamon: Did you just see that. *The assistant looks confused* You didn't just freaking see that! No freaking way. WHERE THE HELL IS CURLY!
*Deamon runs the other way toward Curly Longs office.*
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,391
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Nov 5, 2005 10:11:29 GMT -5
* Torch & Missile come out to mixed reaction
* Getting Away With Murder hits and the Third Street Warriors run to the ring and start brawling with Torch & Missile.
*Match Starts
*The Warriors and Torch & Missle keep brawling until the ref forces Bunk to his corner. Missile takes this opporitunity and attacks Bacana and hits a double suplex. Torch takes control and starts working on the lower back of Bacana with a Kryptonite Krunch right on Bacana's lower back. Bunk runs in and hits a clothesline on Torch and hits a Grandmasta Sexay-type flip over powerbomb on Missile. Meanwhile, Bacana hita a running lariat on Torch and goes for the pin.
1...
2...
3...
No! Torch manages to get his right shoulder up. Bacana picks Torch up and gives him a powerbomb and goes for the pin again.
1...
2...
3..No! Torch gets his shoulder up again. Bacana Irish Whips Torch to the turnbuckle and tags Bunk. Bunk and Bacana hit a double superplex of the top rope on Torch. Torch manages to escape a pin attempt and tags in the big man Missile, who knocks Bunk down with a big boot to the face. Bacana tries to hit a springboard clothesline, but Missile catches him and hits a T-Bone Suplex. Missile goes for a superplex on Bacana but Bunk manages to botch Missile on the top rope. Bacana tries to do the New School, but Torch pushes Bacana onto the ropes as well. Bunk pulls Torch in and hits the Welcome To Chicago MuthaF***a!. Bunk then pulls Bacana off the top rope and signals for the Saint Massacre. Bacana manages to get Missile up and hits the Colt 45 just as Bunk hits the Leg Drop off the top rope and Bacana goes for the pin.
1...
2...
3...!
Lillian Garcia: And here are your winners, EN Bunk, Bolt Bacana, the Third Street Warriors!
After the match, Missile and Torch take out Bacana and hit the BlastOff! on Bunk, leaving them both lying in the ring.
Bunk gives the middle finger to both of them as they turn back to look at the carnage.
Bunk grabs the microphone: Hey Virus, you want a match at the next PPV? Well, you're on! And trust me, the winner WILL be recognized here in EWT. And also, the match we had on Extreme Heat, proved two things. 1. You and I can go the distance in any match at all, and 2. We can take beatings and dish them back just as hard. Until then, Screw the rest, and Praise the Punker!
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Nov 5, 2005 14:30:26 GMT -5
LILLIAN: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the EWT Tag Team Championships! Entering first...Spade & Torque?
*Generic Italian music plays as two Italian guys enter and head down to the ring.*
LILLIAN: Right...and the opponents...they are the EWT Tag Team champions...Mike & Joe RAGNAL!
*High Voltage plays as the two Ragnal brothers enter with the EWT Tag titles around their waists. As they get into the ring, they take the tag titles off and hand them to the ref. The bell rings, and Mike and Spade start the match.Spade charges at Mike, and goes for a clothesline, but Mike ducks and hits a snap belly to belly suplex as he heads back his way. Mike drops an elbow on Spade, picks him up, and hits an Orange Crush on Spade. Mike goes to pin.*
1!2!
*Spade kicks out. Mike drags Spade over to his corner, and tags Joe in. Joe springboards over the ropes, and hits a legdrop on Spade. Joe picks Spade up for a Twist of Fate, but Spade pushes Joe into the ropes, and Spade hits a dropkick on Joe. Spade tags Torque in, and Torque puts Joe in a leglock. Joe grabs onto the lower ropes, and Torque lets go at 4. Torque picks Joe up and goes for a vertical suplex, but Joe slides behind and hits an Enziguri, and Torque falls onto the second rope, and Joe hits a bulldog. Joe goes to pin.*
1!2!
*Spade pummels Joe from behind and breaks the count. Mike gets into the ring and clotheslines Spade out of the ring, and Joe picks Torque up and hits the Unprettier on him. Mike gets back into the ring and picks Torque up for a Ragnalrok. As he spins Torque over his head and setes up the powerbomb, Joe runs up and hits an Enziguri to Torque. Mike hits the powerbomb on toruqe, and pins.
1!2!3!
*The bell rings. The ref hands Mike and Joe the tag titles, and Mike asks for a mic. The ref goes back and gets him one.*
MIKE: Pain...you declined our offer. If you just said 'no', we'd understand. However, you had to go on and give reasons for not going into our challenge. So, let's see if I can add on to your 'requests' for the match-Ladder match. You. PTA banned from ringside. Against an opponent of my choice. YOU will be blindfolded. HE won't. No time limit. And if ANYONE sees you take off the blindfold, you lose your shot at these titles. Remember all that, cuz I WILL make sure it goes like that.
And THAT'S the Shocking Truth!
*High Voltage plays as the Ragnals head into the back, holding their titles up for the crowd to see before they go behind the curtain.*
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Post by Chrysta on Nov 5, 2005 14:41:57 GMT -5
Chimel: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Making her way to the ring first...Anita Naula! *Mankind's original theme plays as a cavegirl of some form enters and walks to the ring.* CHimel: And the opponent... *Senzafine plays as the lights dim. After a few seconds, the crowd waits for Chrysta, but she never shows. The lights come back on, and Chrysta is behind Anita, who is at the ropes towards the entry ramp, shouting for Chrysta tro come out. Ms. White comes out only, and Anita looks perplexed. Suddenly, Chrysta grabs her from behind and hits three German Suplexes in a row. Chrysta gets up and goes for a legdrop, but Anita moves out of the way, and Chrysta hits the canvas. Anita bounces off the ropes and punts Chrysta in the face. Chrysta barely moves at this. Anita picks her up and goes for a vertical suplex, but as she raises Chrysta into the air, Chrysta falls back down to her original position, and Chrysta hits the suplex on her instead. Chrysta clims to the top turnbuckle, and looks to go for a Falling Icicle, but suddenly, "Ich Wil" plays and Holly Vaughn slowly comes to the ring. She points at Ms. White, who's looking at her in fear. Chrysta heads out of the ring and walks up to the ramp as Holly comes down, and the two start to trade punches. The ref is starting the 10 count for Chrysta. Holly whips CHrysta into the barricade. Holly grabs her again and this time throws her back into the ring just before the 10-cout is up. Anita goes for the pin.* 1!2! *Kickout by Chrysta. Holly walks over to Ms. White, who is backing away from her. Chrysta tries to get out of the ring, but Anita pulls her from the ropes and puts her into a sleeper hold. Chrysta elbows her way out, and heads out of the ring. She jabs at Holly's back, and then whips her into the steel steps. Chrysta goes to slam Holly's head onto the steps, but Holly counters, and slams Chrysta's face down. The ref, finally having enough, calls for the bell.* Chimel: Here is your winner...by disqualification...Chrysta! *Chrysta and Holly continue brawling outside the ring, until Anita jumps over the ropes and looks for a moonsault, but Holly catches her, and hits a powerbomb onto the outside floor. Chrysta and Ms. White head up the ramp,looking back at what Holly is about to do to Anita. Holly removes the top step, and grabs a hold of Anita. She picks her up and seems to set up for a powerbomb, but instead, Anita goes behind Holly, and Holly hits the Beach Break onto the steel steps! Anita is grabbing at her neck. Anita Naula's neck is now vroken! Holly broke Anita's neck! Holly heads over to the announcers, and grabs a mic.* Holly: Chrysta, it's in the best interest that you accept our offer for the Sanctuary match. Otherwise, you'll end up like Anita here... *The EMTs rush out as Ich Will plays. Holly stares at Chrysta and White, still standing at the ramp's top. White looks a little worried, while Chrysta just stares on in coldness.* FADE OUT
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Post by rnt on Nov 5, 2005 17:17:45 GMT -5
A heavy DMX-style beat blares through the EWT Arena as The West Coast Playaz approach the ring.
Jeremy Borash: The following contest is now a 2-on-1 Handicap Match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from the West Side...
L.A. Riot stops Jeremy and whispers something in his ear.
Jeremy: Okay then. From the West Sy-EED!, at a combined weight of 458 pounds, Hollywood Bomb and L.A. Riot!
Mike Tenay: This will be the debut match of Hollywood Bomb and L.A. Riot here in EWT! The internet fans demanded it, and here they are!
Don West: THAT'S ABSOLUTELY RIGHT MIKE TENAY!!! AND TONIGHT THEY'VE GOT A 2-ON-1 HANDICAP MATCH AGAINST RICK RASKALL!!!! THAT'S A STROKE OF LUCK FOR THE NEWCOMERS MIKE TENAY!!!
Tenay: It sure is Don, and without the big man Marcus Trunk in his corner, Rick Raskall is definitely in a bad way.
"Hair of the Dog" plays over the PA system as a very perturbed Rick Raskall approaches the ring.
Jeremy Borash: And from The Club, weighing in at 235 pounds, Rick Raskall!
West: AND HERE'S RICK RASKALL!! HE'S IN A FOUL MOOD MIKE TENAY!!!
Tenay: That's right Don. His partner will miss an unspecified amount of time due to the attack by Mr. Big at EWT We Couldn't Be Arsed With A Name, and on top of that, his arch-rival Curly Long has officially been made General Manager of EWT!
L.A. Riot starts out the match against Raskall. Raskall immediately runs at Riot, but Riot dodges, sending Raskall into the turnbuckle. Riot backs away laughing as Raskall pounds the turnbuckle in frustration.
Tenay: Raskall seems a little off his game tonight. He must still have Curly on his mind.
Riot runs at Raskall, but Raskall dodges and delivers a knife-edge chop to Riot's chest. He hits an overhand chop, then a couple kicks to the gut. Then, in an innovative move, he hops up to the second rope and hits a midair dropsault, putting his feet right in Riot's chest, and landing on his feet.
Tenay: Nice innovative offense by Raskall.
Raskall runs at Riot for a dropkick to the face, but Riot dodges, and Raskall crotches himself on the middle rope. Riot goes to his corner and tags Hollywood Bomb.
Tenay: Hollywood Bomb entering the ring for the first time.
Hollywood hangs Raskall upside down in a tree of woe, and kicks him in the chest. He goes to the opposite end of the ring, then runs at Raskall and hits a low dropkick right into Raskall's face.
West: HOLLYWOOD BOMB JUST NAILED THAT DROPKICK MIKE TENAY!!
Raskall slumps to the floor. Hollywood hops off the second rope and hits a double stomp on Raskall's back. He throws up the "West Side" hand signal. The crowd is somewhat apathetic.
West: LISTEN TO THESE FANS, MIKE TENAY!!! THEY'RE EATING THIS UP!!! THEY LOVE 'EM!!!!
Hollywood drags Raskall to the corner and tags in Riot. They whip Raskall into the turnbuckle and charge with a double clothesline. Raskall goes woozy. Hollywood and Riot grab Raskall and prop him up on the top turnbuckle. They then begin to climb up.
West: HERE IT COMES, MIKE TENAY!!! THE DREADED DOUBLE SUPERPLEX!!!
Tenay: This is the move that is feared all around the indies, and it looks like we're about to see it right here in EWT Wrestling!
Before the Playaz can apply the move, Raskall elbows Riot in the head, and Riot falls to the mat. Raskall hooks Hollywood's head and knees him in the gut, causing Hollywood to fall to the mat. They both get to their feet and charge the corner, but Raskall leaps off, catches both of them and nails a flying double DDT!
West: OH MY GOD! DID YOU SEE THAAAAAAT!!!!
Tenay: Rick Raskall with new life in this match! The crowd is on their feet!
Hollywood and Riot get to their feet. Riot charges, but is hit with a forearm, then Hollywood. Riot gets up and tries for a clothesline, but Raskall dodges. Hollywood hits him in the back. Hollywood and Riot whip Raskall into the corner, but Raskall leaps to the top rope and flies off with a corkscrew moonsault! Hollywood and Riot are both taken down!
West: OH MY GAAAAAAAD!!! THAT WAS INCREDIBLE!!! AND YOU CAN ONLY FIND IT IN EWT!!!!
Raskall is on his feet, pumping his fists and stomping his feet, charging up the crowd. Hollywood charges Raskall, but takes a hip toss, then another. Riot gets out of the ring and approaches the timekeeper's table, grabbing a chair.
Tenay: And what is L.A. Riot doing? Somebody stop this! Get the chair away from him!
Raskall hits a back body drop on Hollywood, sending him rolling out of the ring. While Raskall's back is turned, Riot enters the ring with the chair, in plain view of the referee. The ref approaches Riot and tries to wrest the chair away from him, but Riot grabs it back, spins around, and has the chair superkicked into his face by Raskall!
West: BOOM!! HE NAILED HIM WITH THAT SUPERKICK!!!!
Tenay: And down goes Riot! But here comes Hollywood!
Hollywood re-enters the ring and clubs Raskall in the back. He whips Raskall to the opposite rope and drops him with a clothesline. Raskall gets up and is clotheslined again, but ducks another clothesline and goes behind Hollywood, grabbing him by the shoulders and dropping to the mat, hitting Hollywood with a double-knee backbreaker.
Tenay: And Hollywood is down! Rick Raskall is completely in control!
West: IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S JUST ABOUT OVER, MIKE TENAY!!!
Raskall climbs to the top rope, and flies through the air to nail the Raskall House Special!
1...2...3!
West: HE DID IT!!! RICK RASKALL HAS OVERCOME THE ODDS AND HAS WON THIS HANDICAP MATCH!!!! I DON'T BELIEVE IT!!! GAAA!! GAAA!!! AAAGGGHHH!!!!
Tenay: Rick Raskall does prevail, and Don West does have a serious mental problem!
Jeremy Borash: Here is your winner...Rick Raskall!
Tenay: But Rick Raskall isn't finished! He's got some words for these EWT fans!
Raskall: Curly Long! It's not over! I don't care who you throw at me, I will get you back! I want a match with you and that fat piece of s*** at the next pay per view! And this time, YOU'LL be the one with a broken f***ing neck!!
Raskall throws down the mic and exits.
Tenay: It looks like Rick Raskall is all business now Don, and I don't blame him. Curly Long has been a thorn in his side ever since he and Marcus Trunk entered the EWT, and he's not going to stop until he has his revenge!
West: WHAT AN INCREDIBLE CHAIN OF EVENTS, MIKE TENAY!!! I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL THE NEXT PAY PER VIEW SPECTACULAR!!! IT'S GOING TO BE INCREDIBLE!!!
Tenay: It sure is, Don...wait, what? Something's going on backstage? Do we have a live camera back there? Get us a feed of this!
Cut backstage to the...
Commercial break. They really need to time those better.
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Lily-Rose
Mike the Goon
Rockin' All Night.
Posts: 42
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Post by Lily-Rose on Nov 5, 2005 19:19:01 GMT -5
LILLIAN: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Entering first, being accompanied to the ring by the Ragnals...Tanya FLAIRE!
*Spit plays as the Ragnals and Tanya enter and head down to the ring.*
LILLIAN: And her opponent...weighing in at 200...TONS?! Um, is Irresistible Irma!
*A fat woman in a pink and white suit enters and heads to the ring. Tanya is looking mortified!*
LINDA: Relax, we got your back.
TANYA: Got it.
*The bell rings, and Tanya charges at Irma with a clothesline. No effect. She punches at her gut. Nothing. She dropkicks Irma, and only moves her a foot back. Irma laughs at this, and grabs Tanya. She hits a DDT onto Tanya. She jumps up and down by her body, and lands the Earthquake Splash. Irma goes to pin.*
1!2!
*Surprisingly, Tanya kicks out of this. Irma picks Tanya up again, and hits a neckbreaker onto Tanya. She goes to pin again.*
1!2!
*Tanya kicks out. Irma gets up, and looks to go for another splash, but Linda is on the apron, GND title in hand, ready to get into the ring. The ref spots this and goes to get Linda out of the ring. With his back turned, Mike and Joe run into the ring, and Mike kicks Irma in the gut. Mike tries for the Ragnalrok, but she's apparently too heavy. Mike shrugs and holds his tag title to the back of Irma's head, she still being groggy from the gut kick, and Tanya gets up and hits an enziguri to the belt, which hits Irma in the head, and takes her down hard. Linda gets off the apron, the ref turns back to the action, and sees Tanya pin Irma.*
1!2!3!
*The bell rings, and Tanya stands in victory. Joe hands Tanya a mic.*
TANYA: PAIN! Earlier you said the Ragnals did nothing but turn me into a clone of themselves. But I'll be honest. This IS me! And you never would have seen this if you had just TRAINED me to be a better wrestler. But instead, the Ragnals did, and I thank them for this. Something I also learned from them, Pain, is that they help one another when the need is there, NOT to cheat for a victory! Linda has become a heel, and her brothers are still helping her! YOU, on the other hand, think that you're ABOVE the rules, carrying that rule book of yours wherever you go! Well, when you face off against the Ragnals, I'm very sure they're going to teach you a lesson you'll NEVER forget!
And THAT'S the Shocking Truth!
*Spit plays as the Ragnals and Tanya head into the back.*
FADE OUT
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Post by pta on Nov 5, 2005 21:34:44 GMT -5
Pomp and Circumstance starts up as Principal Pain and Canceler start heading towards the ring, Chance Confidence accompanying them. THe crowd starts booing almost immediately.
Announcer: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Approaching the ring, at a combined weight of 750 pounds, being accompanied to the ring by Chance Confidence...
Confidence has entered the ring by now and smacks the microphone out of the nameless announcer's hand, then kicks him and delivers a Confidence Breaker, taking him out. He nips up and grabs the mike from the ground.
Confidence: Ahem!!! The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!!! Introducing first, the greatest tag team in the EWT and the FUTURE EWT Tag Team Champions... Principal Pain and The Canceler!!!
Pain looks over at Confidence and politely takes the microphone from him.
Pain: Now then, before this match gets underway, I have a few people to address. First off... let's start with my former Secretary, Bimbina the Bimbo... Wendy the W****... Samantha the S***!!! You say you were only joining the Ragnals because we didn't teach you anything. Well to that I say... Ha! Without me, you would've been nothing more than a talentless sex slave standing on street corners and offering people your services!!! I took you under my wing... and instead you spat in my face. Well Tanya, as far as I'm concerned, you're nothing more than an obstacle!!! One I will gladly remove if necessary.
The crowd boos, Pain ignores them as usual.
Pain: And as for your challenge Micheal. You know what... FINE!!! I accept your little... challenge. Because no matter who you select, no matter the stipulation, after that match, I will stand victorious... and you will stand defeated. And the P.T.A. will teach you... a LESSON YOU"LL NEVER FORGET!!!
Pain thrusts the mike into Confidence's grip, Chance grabbing it and holding his now slightly sore wrist. Pain immediately tears his suit off, almost ripping it to shreads.
Soon... generic heavy metal starts up and two guys, one wearing all black, one all white, both with eyepatches storm down to the ring.
Chance: And they're opponents, at a combined weight of... looks like a metric ton. Fatty and Blubber...
Before Chance can finish, Overdrive and Overload slide into the ring and nails a double Clothesline From Hell on him, taking him down and forcing him to exit the ring. They turn their attention to the P.T.A. and rush forward, only to get taken down in an instant with a double clothesline from Canceler. Pain watches with a smug grin and gets onto the ring apron. Canceler meanwhile reaches down and, with little difficulty, hoists the two up by their necks and nails a double chokeslam on them.
Overdrive and Overload look a bit shocked that they are being manhandled so easily. Overload exits the ring by rolling out, as Overdrive is hoisted up to his feet again. He looks dazed and confused as Canceler grabs and whips him full force into the ropes, grabbing him as he comes back for a Scrapbuster pin. 1....2....
But Overload runs in and breaks up the count with a quick stomp. Canceler isn't really affected, as he stands up and wraps his hands around Load's neck, tossing him right over the ropes with a huge choke toss. His body lands hard, looking kind of crumpled up. Overdrive is back up on his feet though and with a rather impressive display of power,manages to shove Canceler back a bit. The crowd cheers.
Canceler looks back over at overdrive and glares, giving him a shove of his own, sending him reeling backwards and hitting the mat. Pain doesn't really need to come in it seems. Canceler hoists up Overdrive again into a Military Press Position, walking over and tossing him at Overload who catches him. Pain immediately gets into the ring, Canceler whipping him back against the ropes hard, as he goes over the top and takes them both down with a top rope flip, the force knocking them both down.
Overdrive, Overload slowly rise to their feet, sliding into the ring, only to have Overload get the Yakuza kick from Canceler sending back over the ropes again. He then grabs Overdrive and hoists him on his shoulders... for the ISD. He nails it and is almost about to go for the cover, but instead, lifts him back into Military Press Postion.
Pain quickly slides into the ring and hoists himself onto the nearby turnbuckle and leaps off, nailing the Expulsion. Overdrive is down and out as Canceler hooks the leg for a cover.
1....2....3!!!
Confidence: And here are your winners... the most impressive and dominating Tag Team force in the EWT, the P.T.A!!!
The crowd boos immensely as Pain and canceler leave to exit, but then look down at the fallen Overload who is slowly rising up. Pian signals to Canceler and Confidence, Chance nailining Overload with the low blow from behind. As he slumps over, holding his privates, Canceler rips the steel steps out of the floor and carries them over, placing them in front of Overload. Canceler than ligts him in Military Press Position, Pain climbing onto the barricade and leaping off, grabbing and connecting with another expulsion, onto the steel steps! Overload's head bounces off the steel and starts bleeding profusely. Pain looks down at the fallen Overload and smirks, Canceler helping him up off the ground as the three exit to a pretty much silent shocked crowd. Chance hands the mike to Pain one more time.
Pain: You Ragnals may be " extreme " but the P.T.A... is just plain VISCIOUS!!!
He tosses the mike down and they exit to a huge booing frenzy and we fade to commercial.
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Mr. Zombie
Don Corleone
The Original Chris Farley
Posts: 1,526
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Post by Mr. Zombie on Nov 5, 2005 23:46:49 GMT -5
Dave Coulier is seen walking backstage.....
He sees Rey Mysterio over talking to Maria....he walks into the interview and takes the mic, and bashes him over the head with it....he then picks him up and launches him face first into the backdrop. He then kicks Rey in the crotch, and grabs a pot of hot coffee and pours it on Rey.
Dave then looks at him and yells......"GOT WOOD?!?!?"
He then looks at the camera and says "I told you......we're taking over!"
The camera then pans down to a closeup of his shirt which says fHo.
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Post by craigkendo on Nov 6, 2005 14:35:16 GMT -5
*"Ich Will" hits, as The Connection make their way to the ring.*
Chimel: The following tag team match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Newark, New Jersey and Seoul, Korea respectively, and being accompanied by "Lady Spectacular" Holly Vaughn, Craig Kendo and "The Viper" Tony Chang, THE CONNECTION!!!
*The crowd heckle The Connection as they make their way to the ring. One fan gets into the face of Holly Vaughn, and she nonchalantly stares at the fan with an expressionless look. Tony Chang then comes out of nowhere, hitting a SUPERKICK onto the fan and knocking him out cold. The Connection then resume their walk to the ring, getting in and holding their arms out in prayer. Craig Kendo grabs the mic.*
Kendo: Heathens!! You have all seen the fate which befell the warrior known as Miss Naula. It is but a single act in a long series which we, The Connection, will continue to operate until the self-proclaimed Ice Queen accepts our challenge for a Sanctuary Rules match!!! Never before have we encountered one as insolent as the Ice Queen, nor one as VULGAR as that accursed Miss White. It is therefore in our best interests....
*Kendo is cut off by an extreme party music. Old Skool, Nick Nak and Ted D Bere make their way to the ring to a good pop for shutting up Kendo. They dance to the ring, with Bere pausing to change his hair colour from green to dark purple. He does so with a handy selection of bottles from a courier at ringside.
Chimel: Aaaaaaaand their opponents, from....
*Chimel is shoved down by Tony Chang, and his microphone is stolen.*
Chang: How DARE YOU interrupt the leader in the middle of his message!!! You have a lot of nerve!!! NOTHING WILL SAVE YOU FROM THE CRUSHING BLOW OF INEVITABILITY NOW!!!!
*Chang throws down the mic, and leaps off with a plancha right onto Bere and Nak at ringside. The bell rings, and the match is underway.
Chang beats on Bere with a few fury punches. He then turns his attention to Nak, stomping ferociously onto him. Chang then grabs Nak by the head, and hits an uppercut, before leading him to the ring and rolling him in. Kendo intercepts Nak, and as Nak gets to his feet (eyes on Chang) nervously trying to cut a deal with him, Kendo locks in a full Nelson. Kendo then barks out an order to Chang, who springboards to the ropes, and hits a missile dropkick right onto the chest of Nick Nak!!! Kendo keeps the full Nelson intact, and motions to Chang to attempt the move again. Chang gleefully heads to the apron again, and tries to attempt another springboard! However, Ted D Bere grabs the ankle of Tony Chang on the outside, and sends him crashing down head-first onto the ring apron!!! Bere then grabs the prone Chang and hits a jawbreaker before sliding into the ring to make the save to his partner! Kendo throws down Nak, but isn't fast enough to catch Bere, who leaps at him with a crossbody, taking Kendo down! Nak goes over to his corner, and the legal men have been selected in Kendo and Bere.
Bere hammers away at Kendo with some furious right hands before getting off Kendo and dancing away to a good pop. Kendo begins to rise up, but Bere swiftly interferes with this, hitting a SHINING WIZARD to the prone Kendo!!! Bere keeps on for the cover!!!
1...
Kendo throws off Bere, and gets to his knees. Bere, stunned at Kendo's resiliance, bounces off the ropes, and leaps up at Kendo to hit an enziguri!! Kendo goes down face-first, but immediately begins to lift himself up! Bere, now close to despair, runs at the rising Kendo and hits a dropkick to the face!! He then goes to the ring apron, and leaps off with a plancha leg drop! STILL not finished, Bere jumps to the top rope, and leaps off onto Kendo with a falling elbow! This seems to have an effect on Kendo, and he stays down. Bere, however, is exhausted, and stays lying on the mat hyperventilating before eventually rolling over Kendo to make the cover.
1, 2...
Kendo gets a shoulder up, much to Bere's dismay. He gets up, and goes over to Nick Nak, tagging him in. Nick Nak goes over to Kendo, and lifts him up by the head. Nick Nak locks in a front headlock onto Kendo, and this hold is locked in for a while until Kendo breaks free with authority. Kendo then stares at Nak, fury in his eyes. Nak bounces off the ropes, and jumps up at Kendo with a flying lariat, but Kendo dodges this, causing Nick Nak to fall on his face. Kendo then patiently waits for Nak to get to his feet before grabbing him by the throat. Kendo then pushes him to his corner, where Tony Chang awaits. Catching Nak in a back grapple, Chang proceeds to lift Nak up over the ropes...GERMAN SUPLEX TO RINGSIDE!!!!!
The crowd can hardly believe what they just saw! Chang, keeping himself on the apron by locking his legs between the middle and bottom ropes, lifts himself up, and casually drops to ringside. He kicks at Nick Nak, and it is clear that Nick Nak has been legitimately knocked out. Chang pauses, and looks up to Kendo, who promptly nods. Chang then grins, and throws Nick Nak back into the ring. Chang waits at ringside, where Kendo tags him in. Chang then approaches the downed Nak, and drags him to the centre of the ring. Chang then stands on Nak's chest, before holding his arms out in prayer, and leaping off with the shooting-star somersault press. Chang then drags Nak's body over to....Old Skool's corner?
Chang dumps the body within arms' reach of Ted D Bere, and leaves him there, backing off as Bere looks on with a baffled expression. Chang gives a "Go ahead" gesture to Bere, and Bere, realising that they mean to do him damage, refuses. Chang sighs at this, and drags the unconcious body of Nick Nak to the centre of the ring. He then stomps mercilessly away at Nick Nak, pausing to request a bottle of water, that Holly Vaughn chucks into the ring. Chang takes the water, and swigs a bit before pouring some on Nak, who seems to be reviving from it. Chang then cautiously takes Nak's head, and lifts him up to his knees. Chang asks Nak if he is "alright", as Nak keeps reiterating that he is fine, before Chang brings up his heel, smashing it down on Nak with the VIPERBITE KICK!!!
Chang smirks at Bere, and eyes on Bere, lifts up Nak, putting him up on his shoulders and hitting a Death Valley Driver!!! Still not going for the pin, Chang goes to lift up Nak again, at which point Ted D Bere screams at Chang to stop. Chang pauses, and, whilst showing a solemn expression, drags Nak's body over to Old Skool's corner. Chang steps back to his own corner, and leans against the ropes in a casual manner. Bere sighs, knowing that what he's doing is right, but stupid. He tags himself in, and climbs through the ropes, approaching Tony Chang nervously, but with hatred in his eyes.
Chang smiles at this, and offers Bere a handshake. Bere of course refuses this, catching Chang with a drop toe hold! Bere keeps the hold applied as Chang, caught off guard, stuggles to get out of it. He eventually throws Bere off, and gets to his feet, right when Bere hits a dropkick to Chang's face!! Chang handsprings up, but is immediately caught with a clothesline from Bere!!! Bere is on fire as he goes to the Connection's corner and hits Kendo with a furious right, knocking Kendo off the apron!! Bere then charges at the rising Chang, and leaps over him with a Sunset Flip!!!
1, 2...
And Chang kicks out. Chang tries to get to his feet, and he is hit with a leg drop to the back of the neck!!! Bere then climbs the turnbuckle, and does a little dance!! However, Holly Vaughn has intercepted this, and she gets to the apron, hitting Bere with a bottle of hair dye!! Bere falls forward off the turnbuckle, giving Chang the opportunity to get up, and see to him. Bere grabs the tights of Chang, lifting himself up, and Chang laughs maliciously at this. He then grabs Bere's coloured hair, and makes his way to the back of Bere. Chang then lifts his foot up, hitting the VIPERBITE KICK onto Bere!!! He goes for the pin.
1, 2, 3!!!!
WINNERS: The Connection.
*Post-Match, after the Connection have held their arms out in prayer, Craig Kendo approaches the downed Bere, Mic in hand.*
Kendo: You may have lost, young Bere, but you were a worthy opponent. One such as you could become a skilled underling to our elite group. I offer you a chance to leave behind your inane dancing partner and join us as an apprentice. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, you understand.
*Kendo hold the microphone to the mouth of Bere, who, still laying on the mat, spits into the face of Craig Kendo for a MASSIVE pop. Kendo wipes the saliva from his face with a grin before grabbing Bere by the throat. He again speaks into the mic.*
Kendo: You show the right attitude, young one. It is a shame that you disrespect us so. You wish to progress in life by dancing your way into these infidels' hearts? So be it. But you will never disgrace us again!!!
*Kendo then kicks Bere hard in the gut before lifting him high into the air. Holly and Chang get to their knees and hold their arms out in prayer before Kendo hits the ENLIGHTENMENT onto Bere!!! Kendo again grabs the mic.*
Kendo: And let that serve as a warning to the Ice Queen. Nobody will stand in the way of our wishes. Accept our challenge, or you shall face our wrath! Our message WILL be delivered! Now, disciples. We must depart.
*The Connection leaves the ring as EMTs rush down to see to Nick Nak and Ted D Bere. Fade to commercial...*
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B.A.
Grimlock
Posts: 13,335
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Post by B.A. on Nov 6, 2005 14:37:58 GMT -5
Eddie Omega is backstage taping up his arm and putting icy hot on his neck. He looks at his sheet and it says viper on it. Eddie looks in his mirror and then takes his title and leaves the lockeroom.
Announcer from JWC: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Its for the EWT OX Divison title!!!
A small but very muscular person comes out to the ring.
Announcer: On his way to the ring, with his snake...Viper!!
Lights dim purple, and remedy comes on.
Announcer: And now coming down the aisle. From washington d.c., the ox division champ... Eddie...Omega!!! Fans cheer loudly as Eddie gets into the ring but avoids Viper and his snake.
Eddie tells the ref for him to put it away and he puts it in his bag. The bell rings and begins. Collar elbow tie up by both men. Viper knees Eddie in the stomach and chops him so that eddie falls down. Eddie backs into the turnbuckle and tries to stand up. He stands up and backs away from Viper. Collar Elbow tie up again and viper chops eddie again. Eddie grabs his chest in pain and tries to punch viper, viper ducks and chops eddie again. Eddie tries another punch and viper chops again, and again and again with the last one sending eddie sailing out the ring through the middle ropes
*Crowd goes nuts*
Eddies chest looks like its almost bleeding but its just the hardness of Vipers chops. Eddie gets up and walks towards where the snake is but does a sharp u turn and runs away. Eddie goes to the steps and climbs up slowly. He gets in the ring and the men go for another collar elbow tie up. Eddie does a low knee to viper and puts him up against the ropes. European uppercut again and again and he irish whips viper into the ropes. Powerslam by eddie omega and he goes for a quick pin.
1...2 Eddie picks him up and throws him in the corner. He irish whips viper and runs towards him. Viper moves and eddie hits the turnbuckle. Eddie gets thrown into the ropes and gets a backbody drop done to him. Viper is looking to end it and goes for his constrictor but eddie scrambles to the rope. Eddie then gets up and kicks viper for a ddt
1..2.. kick out by viper and eddie goes for a sleeper. Crowd begins to chant for viper as he tries to stay awake. Eddie tells the crowd to shutup and that gets a response from then. Both men get to there feet and eddie is thrown into the ropes and sholderblocks viper down. Eddie runs again into the ropes, leaps over viper, but viper goes for a chop. Eddie ducks runs into the ropes again and viper runs at him. Eddie picks viper up and does a hotshot onto the ropes
Crowd: oooooooo The crowd sees what happened in awe as viper is hurt on the ground. Eddie drags viper into the middle of the ring. He sits him up. Everyone knows whats coming as Eddie walks around the ring as he slaps his chest, kicks the back and does a back splash for his Frat Step Attack. Eddie goes for a pin but viper kicks out. Viper picks him up and complains to the ref for a slow count. Viper takes this oppurtunity and goes behind him for a german suplex. He gets up with eddie and his arms still locked and german suplexs him again. Eddie and him both get up and viper hooks the constrictor in.
The crowd is absolutely going nuts. Eddie is pain not only cause of the move but his neck, because of that suplex that got done by spaz weeks back. Eddie is reaching towards the ropes but hes so far away. Eddie is about to tap, but then he sees the snake in the corner in the bag. Eddie reaches for the bag and the ref tries to grab it away from eddie. Eddie and the ref are stuggling and the bag comes loose and the snake falls out!! The ref jumps out the ring
Viper lets go of his move and goes to take the snake and put it in the bag, and does so before eddie sneaks up behind viper and rolls him up grabbing his tights and putting his feet on the ropes.
1....2....3!!
Eddie wins the match!!! Announcer: And heres your winner...and still champion..eddie omega!!! Eddie celebrates, but viper being pissed off takes the snake out the bag and looks towards eddie. Eddie sees hit but not before Viper puts the snake on top of him.Eddie panics and trips through the ring ropes as he gets away.
Eddie takes the title and runs backstage while looking back to see viper isnt following him. Viper stands in the ring with his snake while his music plays and the crowd cheers.
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,391
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Nov 6, 2005 17:54:19 GMT -5
*Getting Away With Murder hits and Jessica comes out.
*Tony Chimel: Making her way to the ring, from San Diego, CA, weighing in at 190 lbs, Jessica!
*Mournful music hits and Veil comes out.
*Chimel: And her opponent, Veil!
*Veil immediantly starts attacking Jessica hitting a slap and a tackle. Jessica hits a monkey flip on Veil and puts an armbar. Veil flips over and hits a kick right to the face of Jessica.
Don West: THAT'S GOTTA HURT TENAY! VEIL MIGHT HAVE KNOCKED JESSICA OUT WITH THAT ONE!
Veil climbs to the op rope and hits a splash on Jessica. Veil goes for the pin.
1...
2...No! Jessica gets the arm up. Veil picks Jessica up and hits a suplex on her and goes for the pin again.
1...
2...
3..No! Jessica gets the shoulder up again.
Don West: AGAIN JESSICA GETS THE SHOULDER UP! VEIL HAS TO BE FURIOUS RIGHT NOW!
Veil pick Jessica up and gives her another slap. Veil goes to the top rope and tries to hit a splash, but Jessica manages to switch it into a powerbomb in the middle of the ring. Jessica goes for the pin.
1...
2...
3...
No! Veil gets the shoulder up. Jessica grabs Veil and puts her on the turnbuckle. Jessica allows Veil to get up before pushing her to the middle of the ropes. Jessica climbs the top rope and hits the New School on Veil and gets the pin.
1...
2...
3...!
*Chimel: And here is your winner:...
*Molly Holly's music hits.
Molly: Hold on. Jessica, you avoided our match last week. Well now, we're about to make up for that!
Molly runs into the ring and starts attacking Jessica. The referre doesn't know what to do and just decides to make the match. Molly is still attacking Jessica while the ref makes the match. Jessica hits Molly and gives her a slap, knoking her away. Jessica hits a Shining Wizard on Molly and places her in the middle of the ring. Jessica climbs the top rope and goes for the Code Red, but Molly rolls out of the way. Molly hits a snap suplex and climbs the top rope. Molly positions herself and goes for the Molly-Go-Round, But Jessica catches her and places her on the ropes. Jessica hits a slap right across the face and climbs to the top rope.
Don West: JESSICA MIGHT BE GOING FOR THE NEW SCHOOL RIGHT NOW TENAY!
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,391
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Nov 6, 2005 18:01:33 GMT -5
Sorry 'bout that. Anyway....
Jessica doesn't go for the New School, but instead hits a dropkick on Molly. Jessica then climbs the ropes and hits the Code Red on Molly and goes for the pin.
1...
2...
3...!
Chimel: And here is your winner, Jessica!
Jessica poses in the ring while the crowd gives a massive pop for competing and winning two matches. Suddenly the lights go off. The lights go back on and Jessica isn't there!
Don West: WHERE HAS JESSICA GONE!?! WHERE HAS SHE.... AAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH! ANOTHER HEART ATTACK!
Tenay: Well, while Don West is sufering from his 23rd heart attack, WHERE HAS JESSICA GONE!?!
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,391
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Nov 6, 2005 20:07:32 GMT -5
EN Bunk is shown backstage looking furious.
Sum guy comes
Sum Guy: Hello I'm Sum Guy and I would make Todd Grisham look like JBL in a match. With me now is the Third Street Warrior, EN Bunk. Bunk, what are you're thoughts on Jessica disappearing from the ring after her match?
EN Bunk: WHAT DO YOU THINK?!? JESSICA IS MISSING AND I CAN'T DO A THING! I'M PISSED DAMMIT!
SG: Okay, um.... so if Bacana's out with his injury, if Curly Long places you in a tag team match, who will be your tag-team partner?
ENB: Guy, If Long and Mr. Not a Big **** decide to put me in a tag-team match, then my partner could be anyone! It could even be you!
SG: Really?
ENB: Nah, I'm just F***ng with ya. But if I'm in a tag team match, then my partner will be none other than "The King Of Old School" "The Extreme Horseman" and "The F***ing God Of Professional Wrestling" Steve Corino!
Steve Corino comes out to a MASSIVE pop.
ENB: So Long, I BEG you, put me in a tag-team match! Until then, Screw the Rest, Praise the Punker!
SG: Well, until then, I'm Sum Guy, and my idol is Martha Stewart.
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Queen Rosa
Mike the Goon
All hail the queen!
Posts: 30
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Post by Queen Rosa on Nov 6, 2005 21:25:06 GMT -5
*As we come back from commercial we're ringside for the next match. "It's My Time" hits*
Ring Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, being accompanied by the Heartbreak Hitman Bret Michaels, Rosa!
*Rosa walks down to the ring with HBH right behind her. They're met with a sea of boos*
RA: And making her way to the ring, from...Treasure Island? Anyway, here's Rowanna Dagger.
*Rowanna walks out wearing an eye patch. HBH gives Rosa a little pep talk before leaving the ring*
The bell rings to start the match. The two ladies circle the ring. They lock up. Rosa breaks it with an arm wrench. Rowanna eventually fights her way out of it and gets in an arm wrench of her own. Rosa elbows her way out of it. She runs to the ropes and is met with a shoulder takedown by Rowanna. Rowanna runs to the ropes and leaps over Rosa to the other side of the ropes. Rosa gets up and attempts a hip toss, but Rowanna counters with her own hip toss. Rowanna then gives Rosa a series of armdrags followed by a dropkick. She goes for the cover.
1... 2...
Rosa kicks out. Rowanna picks up Rosa and gives her a gorilla press slam. Rosa rolls out of the ring to take a breather. Rowanna grabs her by the hair and pulls her up on to the apron. Rosa surprises her with a jawbreaker, knocking Rowanna down. Rosa gets back on the apron and lands a springboard splash. She immediately goes for the cover.
1... 2...
Rowanna kicks out. Rosa picks her up and whips her to the ropes. She connects with an elbow smash. Rosa then hits her with a neckbreaker. Rosa picks Rowanna up and hits her with a reverse suplex. She climbs to the middle rope and hits a leg drop to the back of Rowanna's head. Rosa rolls her over and covers her.
1... 2...
Rowanna gets the shoulder up. Rosa gets in a snapmare followed by a dropkick to the back. Next she traps Rowanna in a dragon sleeper. Rowanna tries to fight it, but shows signs of fading. She eventually finds the strength to fight her way out of it. She runs to the ropes and is met with a spinning heel kick from Rosa. Rosa picks her up and lands a tiger suplex. She does a little bit of showboating and gets loud boos from fans. She picks up Rowanna and whips her to the ropes. She attempts a back body drop, but Rowanna counters with a kick to the head. Rowanna then takes Rosa to the turnbuckle, climbs it, and gets off a tornado DDT. Both women are down, so the ref starts the 10 count.
1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8...
They're both back on their feet. Rosa goes to punch Rowanna, but Rowanna blocks it and gets in a punch of her own. She keeps it up with a series of punches and kicks. She whips Rosa to the ropes and hits a flapjack. She then runs at Rosa with a clothesline, and then another. She gives Rosa a bodyslam and climbs the top rope. She hits a splash and covers her.
1... 2...
Rosa just gets the shoulder up. Rowanna picks her up and gives her another series of punches and kicks. She runs to the ropes and is met with a flying lariat from Rosa. Rosa then sets up Rowanna for the Northern Lights Driver and hits it. She covers her.
1... 2...
3! *Bell rings*
RA: Here is your winner, Rosa!
*After the match, Rosa grabs a mic*
Rosa: Hey Linda, I don't think it was a wise decision of you to leave the stipulation of our match up to me. I hope you know that that allows me to inflict unlimited amounts of pain on you. That's why I've decided to make our match a No Holds Barred, Falls Count Anywhere match. There's nothing and no one that will stop me from taking over the women's division and becoming GND Champion. And believe me Linda, I will take great pleasure in kicking your ass all over the arena and then taking that title.
*Rosa poses with HBH in the ring as the crowd heckles them. They eventually head to the back*
*Fade to commercial*
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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on Nov 6, 2005 22:07:23 GMT -5
*HBH and Rosa are walking backstage*
HBH: Great match out there. Once again you proved that are worthy of being a champion.
Rosa: I can almost smell victory now.
*Hoss Matthews walks up*
Hoss: Bret, we've all heard Gasoline's response to what you said on The Heartbreak Hotel---
HBH: Let me tell you something. I gave that man the best years of his career, and for him to be so ungrateful is sickening. He wants to talk about me always stealing the spotlight from him? Hey, it's not my fault people are always gravitating toward me. I mean, why wouldn't they? I'm one of the greatest athletes to ever grace a wrestling ring. When you're as great as I am, everyone wants to be around you to make themselves look better. Gas had the perfect opportunity to make a name for himself, and he didn't take it. So what did I do? I let him go. He would be wise to cherish those great moments he had, because they're not coming back. And I am going to prove to him that he is nothing without me. Now I believe this interview is over.
*HBH and Rosa walk off. Cut to next segment*
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DQorDie
Bubba Ho-Tep
Believe in yourself & ROCK N ROLL!!!
Posts: 635
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Post by DQorDie on Nov 7, 2005 0:34:22 GMT -5
Sum Guy is ready for an interview at the EWT interview area. Let’s go to Sum Guy!
Sum Guy: Hi, I’m Sum Guy & I still wear feet pajamas....This week has been dedicated to interpromotional wrestling & my next guest likes to interpromote & wrestle. He is Max Power.
Out comes Max Power doing some warming up exercises for his match coming up next. He looks about 50 years old by the color of his graying hair on his head & coming up off his chest & back. Yet his physique is incredible & almost as impressive as Flex Magnificent’s. His hair is thick & gray & is formed with a noticeable receding hairline & bald stop on the top of his head. He makes his way up to Sum Guy.
Max Power: Oi mate.
SG: I thought you were English not Jewish.
MP: I am mate & I’ll also tell you something else that I am. I am gonna be the victor of my match tonight with a one Flex Magnificent.
SG: I thought your name was Max not Victor? Also you look old.
MP: WHAT’S THAT, MATE?!
SG: You’re even hard of hearing too.
MP: Ugh, seems like I gotta do this bleedin’ interview myself! *decks Sum Guy* Listen ‘ere Flex Magnificent! I know you are the undefeated WBF champion & I know your record ‘ere in the EWT! But I also know you’re comin’ off a bit of an unmagnificent streak, ey mate?! Well let me fill you in on somethin’ bloke *begins breathing heavier & flexing for the camera* They don’t call me Max Power for nuttin’. I’m a 8-time Mr. Britiania. An 11-time Mr. EU. And I just won a bet wit sum of the EWT guys that I could put a pencil in the crack of Maelstrom’s exposed ass while he was sleeping! And that ain’t all mate. Tonight all it’s gonna take is one Union Jakked Hammer & it’s curtains for your, mate. FLEX MAGNIFICENT!!!!! FEEEEEEL THE POOOOOWWEEEERRR!!!!!!!!!!!
As Max Power finishes off with one last pose we fade to the camera now shooting amongst the crowd. Some Herculian theme begins playing as the announcer makes the call
Female Announcer from the WWF in the Early 90s:: This match is scheduled for one fall! Making his way down the aisle at a weight of 275 pounds. He hails from the JCW POWER Plant! He is MAX POOOOWER!!!!!
As the curtain opens we see Max Power walking out head down handcuffed with 2 police officers. As soon as they walk a short distance Max lifts his head & breaks the hand cuffs screaming! & pushes the police officers to the floor. They crawl away as Max Power is handed a phone book which he rips in half. Then he walks over to the other side of the entrance area where a lifting bench is set up with weights. Max lifts up the weight of over 400 lbs & begins doing military presses as he kicks down the bench & throws the weights away. He walks back to the aisle where a plow is now set up. He puts on the harness & begins making his way down the aisle while plowing the entrance aisle. He makes it to the steps & takes off the harness. He jobs up the steps & flips over the top rope. Now inside someone throws him some baby oil & he proceeds to oil himself up & begins posing.
Gorilla Monsoon: HO-LY Cow! What an entrance by Max Power.
Jesse “The Body” Ventura: Are you impressed by Max Power, Gorilla?
GM: Why yes. Yes, I am. That was way better than Flex Magnificent’s entrance! I mean c’mon who wants to see how big the guy’s ego is?
JV: You gotta be kidding me, Monsoon! This guy is a showboat. Flex Magnificent’s entrance is like a work of art just like his body. Flex Magnificent is Hollywood & Max Power is Vaudeville.
GM: Speaking of Flex he seems to have something up his sleeve. What are all these references he is making about Limey’s past! This man is just jealous that Limey has gotten further in his career here in the EWT than he has! And not only that but Limey has forgotten about Flex Magnificent entirely!
JV: Well let the man speak for himself! We got Flex Magnificent in the back right now with Sum Guy! Let’s us now hear from his Magnificence!
The camera is now back to Sum Guy who has a t-bone steak to his eye.
SG: Ooooooh. Hi I’m Sum Guy & my everything hurts! AAAAH!!!
Flex Magnificent comes in quickly & drives his fist right into Sum Guy’s exposed eye. He is in full “Hunchback of Flexer Dame” gear & is with “The Doctor of Muscletology” & is ready tp speak his mind.
Flex Magnificent: Listen politely while I speak everyone in Tee Vee Lund.Limey you condinue do igno’ me.....Tonight I face one uv yo’ own countrymen. A real limey hahaha! Right down do his ugly snaggle teeth & pale skin. Mistuh Power I will not be feeling any uv yo powers because donight you will be feeling the coldness of a hospidal bed uv couse aftuh you wake up a week later from yo coma. But Limey, since you 2 huv a special bond amongst one anutha as countrymen, as ugly malformed subhuman ameobas like you are huv I will make sure do instill everything dat I huv said & done dis past mont that YOU huv refused do acknowledge INTO HERR POWER!!! Limey as Mistuh Power’s hair has a “TOUCH OF GREY!” your silver lining WILL NOT! BECAUSE YOU WILL NOT GET BY! AND YOU WILL NOT SURVIVE THE MANIFLEX DESTINY!!!!!!
Flex poses as Dr. Delavier gives a mean glare as the scene fades as we go back to ringside where we now hear “The Lonely Man” being played over the PA. We now go to the ring announcer for Flex’s introduction.
FAFTWWINTE90's: And his opponent!.....Woefully heading down the aisle with his manager ”The Doctor of Muscletology” Dr. Frederick Delavier.[/i] Currently exiled from his homeland Nuremberg. Germany. He weighs in at 330 lbs of dread & contempt. With arms in length of 30 inches round, waist 38", legs 24", & at a height of 6'7". In better times he was known as The Genetic Superman[/i]. He is....FLEEEEEX.....MAAAAAAGNIFICENT!!!!
Flex & Dr. Delavier make their way out of the entrance way & as they solmenly get inside the ring without their former dramatics. Max Power begins to taunt by bouncing around the ring as Flex Magnificent glares at him takeing off his sparkeling new rhinestone tattered cape off.
JV: Haha did you hear that, Monsoon!?
GM: Of course I did, Jess! I’m right here with you!
JV: It’s only a matter of time, Monsoon, & Limey will singing “Bye, Bye Miss American Pie!” Hahaha.
GM: First of all his British & I don’t know what that was in leu of , but ANYWAY we’ve got quite an interesting bout for the folks online here tonight, Jess. Both men are fond of their humble home the gym & tonight will see how Max Power fares against this monster of magnificence, Flex Magnificent!
JV: Monsoon, I am going to go out on a limb with a wild prediction tonight!
GM: You think Flex will actually lose?
JV: I predict......Flex will win with the Flex Capacitor! He hasn’t used his finisher in awhile!
GM: Would you stop! He hasn’t used it because he’s been too busy destroying the EWT from the inside with his accidental murders & destroying the Toomitron on two separate occasions!
The bell rings as Dr. Delavier rubs Flex’s shoulders to get him ready. He sets Flex off as Flex points out to the referee that Max Power purposely has oiled himself up, which he did as part of his entrance. The referee acknowledges this & forces Max to wipe off the oil with a towel. He does & hands it to the referee which Flex swipes out of his hands & attacks Max Power with it. He starts shoving it down Max Power’s throat who gags on it.
Flex take it out as Max gags for breath & begins to wrap it around his neck choking him out.
Max is be choking & reaching out his arms to grab ahold of something, but is getting only air. He finally makes it to a verticle base & whips his leg under Flex’s & kicks him right in the groin. Flex falls straight to his knees! The crowd erupts as Flex holds on to his goody goody gumdrops.
Max Power flexes in front of the fallin’ Magnificent One & lifts him up off the canvas & whips him into the ropes. He connects with a forearm to the face & Flex is sent back down.
Max see this & decided to take advantage of the situation & bounces off the ropes & drives down a double knee to the sternum. Flex is careening as impact is made. Max bounces off the ropes once again & drives the double into the sternum once again.
He lifts Flex up by the sack & accidently takes the sack off completely. Flex is covering his face with both hands. The referee scolds Max & forces him to give the potato sack back. Power does & the ref returns it to Flex who is now huddled in a corner. As Flex puts it back on Power runs into him with a driving knee to the face. Power holds onto the rope for leverage & continues to drive the knee into Flex’s face multiple times. Flex looks a bit dazed as Power starts to celebrate at bit. The crowd cheers as it seems someone is finally getting the better end of Flex Magnificent!
Max Power goes back to Flex but Flex catches him in the gut with a stiff shot, but it’s not enough for the Powers That Be as he kicks Flex right back in the face staggering Flex a bit. He lifts Flex back up & pushes him into the corner again & lays in some deep open palm slaps (NOT CHOPS) into Flex’s chest that even Flex yells out from. The ref pushes Power away for being in the corner too long & Power backs off.
Max then takes Flex by the potato sack & pushes him against the ropes for an Irish Whip & does so successfully this time pulling out a back drop for Flex’s troubles. Flex is sent flying to the mat & holds on to his tuckus as he lands on his butt.
GM: Right on the gluteous maximus!
JV: Smartass!
Power covers Flex for the pin!
1!
Flex power kicks out!
GM: There’s no way you can put down the Magnificent One done with a mere back drop!
JV: You got that right, Gorilla!
Power is back on him & lifts him up for a POWER Slam & connects. Power gets up & looks to the crowd & signals for the POWER Press! He lifts Flex up above his head & sends him careening down to the mat! Flex is holding onto his back in agony!
Power how has a big smile on his face & yells out, “SOD THIS! UNION JAKKED HAMMER!!!!” The fans cheer for the Built Britian as he lifts Flex Magnificent up for the Union Jakked Hammer. He holds him up there & starts walking around the ring as the crowd begins to count.
GM: There’s counting in unison the seconds Power has him up there!
After Power has successfully walked around the ring once he starts walking faster to the middle of the ring & DROPS Magnificent down with the Union Jakked Hammer! The ref drops & begins to count! The crowd once again in unison are count!
The referee barely drops his hand down & Flex kicks out like a damn horse sending Power flying into the air. The crowd counts “ONE!” thinking there was actual contact!
JV: Did you see that REAL power!?
GM: The referee’s hand didn’t even touch the mat!
Flex pops up as if he was Hulk Hogan & Power immediately gets up & tries to level Flex with a double axehandle.
NO EFFECT!
Flex begins to stand up as Power continues to pummel him with no effect until Flex pushes Power away like he was a bug on his shoulder!
Power looks up from the floor with a mighty pissed look on his face as he goes back to Flex with a punch to the gums. Flex begins walking into Power as he continues punching him. Flex has now backed Power into a corner. It seems as if he’s talking to Power unitl.....he headbutts Power right in the mush. He continues another 5 times! Power is now bleeding from the mouth & holding onto his jaw.
Flex calmly walks away & steps outside the ring before the referee could push him away. Flex grabs a chair from the time keeper’s table by of course booting our lovely female announcer in the mush with his black shiny boot! Power is still cluching his face as Flex grabs the mic & walks into the ring with the chair. He begins to speak.
FM: LIMEY! Listen do me politely while I dell you someding. One problem wit de British is dat....dey have BAD oral hygiene & dat must be corrected immediately. *he begins smacking Power across the face with the chair* Because BAD dings start do happen do de deeth. *Flex throws the chair away & rips off a turnbuckle bad & drags Power over to it. He opens Power’s mouth wide open & makes him bite the buckle. He places his boot on the top of Power’s head so he doesn’t move* For instance....THEY START TO FALL OUT!!!!
Flex drops the mic & begin to run towards the ropes & jumps right on the top of Power’s head! The blood is literally flowing like a waterfall from Power’s mouth & he is screaming like a damn woman!
GM: THAT IS UNCALLED FOR!
JV: Haha! I guess he’s really gonna need some false teeth now! And to think! One of those phony dentists with their own practice would’ve charged a fortune to pull out all of those rotten teeth, Monsoon!
Flex is back on the attack as he drags Power to the middle of the ring leaving a trail of blood. He starts yelling at Power about using his own move against him & he begins to pick up Power for the STACKED SUPER SLAM!!! As he lifts him up the blood is falling all over Flex as he walks across the ring & deposits Power face first into a turnbuckle! The bleeding is becoming more heavier.
Power is now in a lifeless heap. Flex grabs the chair & places it under Power’s throat & lifts him up. He begins running with Power & drives the chair into his throat via the Undertaker. Power is jumping around holding onto his throat as the blood is flowing out heavier!
Flex then lifts Power up again who is merely dead weight at this point & now places the chair in his MOUTH! He starts charging with the chair in Power’s mouth & once again drives them both to the mat. Power is shaking on pure reaction from his body otherwise his eyes are closed & he is not making any other movements.
JV: Haha the icing on the cake! Or should I say the denture creme on the gums! Hahahaha!
GM: Would you please stop!!!
Flex walks casually over to Power & flips him over with his boot like he was nothing & drops down & places him in the Flex Capacitor, but with his other arm he is opening is mouth wide open while yanking on his back with all the pressure he can put on him.
He succeeds as the ref calls for the bell!
The Ring Announcer to Replace The Female Announcer From The Early 90's WWF: THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH AS A RESULT OF THE REFEREE’S DECISION....FLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEX MAGNIFICENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dr. Delavier enters the ring & hands Flex Magnificent a small white container. Flex walks over to Power & drops to his knees & opens up Powers’ mouth wide open & takes the small container & starts shaking it in Power’s mouth!
GM: What the hell is he doing?!
JV: Haha he’s putting salt in Limey’s....I mean Max Power’s wound! HAHAHAHAHA!!!
GM: Such a despicable action we have all come to terms with from Flex Magnificent! What a waste of flesh & bone!
JV: HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT AFTER ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED TO FLEX MAGNIFICENT!!! HE STILL WEARS THAT AWFUL GODFORSAKEN POTATO SACK OVER HIS HEAD EVERY DAY AS A REMINDER OF WHAT THAT SON OF A B***H LIMEY DID TO HIM!!!HOW DARE YOU MONSOON! HOW DARE YOU!!!!
GM: But that does not explain why he has to exert his problems onto other wrestlers! Why can’t he just have a regular match with them & take his aggression out on Limey?!
JV: Because Limey is a coward who can’t face up to his actions! Because he’s the kind of guy who hits someone from behind & then runs away! He’s no better than a common thug doing a drive-by! He has no guts! He has no passion! He has nothing compared to a the real man that Flex Magnificent is! I bet he’s watching this match right now wishing & hoping & praying to God to save him from the imminent doom that awaits him at the hands of Flex Magnificent! That IS if he even has the guts to be in the same building as Flex! Because from my sources Limey is always out of the building when Flex is! What a gutless punk! What a peice of crap!
GM: Get a hold of yourself, Jess!
JV: I’m sorry Monsoon! It’s just that everytime I see the pain in Flex Magnificent’s eyes after what happened at Crap-a-Mania II I can’t hold my feelings in any longer.
GM: Well Jess you’re gonna have to hold ‘em in until we get back because we gotta pay the bills. We’ll be right back folks with more action!
Fade to commercial
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