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Post by DSR on Nov 9, 2005 17:07:23 GMT -5
*Cut back to ringside, as the King of Jobbers is waiting on his opponent. "A Torrid Love Affair" hits, as DSR comes flying out from behind the curtain. DSR slides into the ring, a la Paul London, and poses at the turnbuckles. DSR is wearing a red t-shirt. The front reads "EWT WRESTLING ACADEMY" and the back reads "WE ARE THE FUTURE". DSR removes the shirt and throws it into the crowd. DSR shakes hands with the King of Jobbers (KOJ), as the match is underway.
KOJ is eager to get the ball rolling, as he charges in at DSR. DSR hits a hip toss, followed by a dropkick, which sends KOJ to the outside. DSR steps out onto the ring apron, ready to fly with an Asai Moonsault. KOJ moves out of the way, and DSR lands on his feet. KOJ hits a few stiff chops, before attempting a whip to the barricade. DSR reverses, sending KOJ to the barricade. DSR grabs the KOJ and delivers a snap suplex to the floor. DSR slides back into the ring, and soaks up the cheers of his fans. KOJ gets up onto the apron. DSR charges toward him, KOJ springboards from the ropes and hits a Mushroom Stomp on DSR. DSR falls to his hands and knees. KOJ springboards from DSR's back to the top turnbuckle, and attempts a moonsault, but DSR rolls out of the way. KOJ gets to his knees, clutching his stomach, and DSR hits a front dropkick that lays him out. DSR says it's over, as he grabs KOJ's legs, attempting to lock on a Sharpshooter! KOJ twists and writhes around before grasping the bottom rope. DSR breaks the hold, as KOJ starts to get to his feet. DSR grabs KOJ for an Exploder Suplex, but KOJ hits a few elbows to DSR's head, causing the break. KOJ grabs DSR and hits a Hurricanrana, hooking the legs!
1... 2... Kickout! DSR gets to his feet. KOJ grabs DSR's arm, twisting it. DSR hits a one-armed cartwheel to relieve the pressure, twisting KOJ's arm up. KOJ runs up the ropes, bouncing off, and locking his legs around DSR's head for a Flying Head Scissors. This time, DSR rolls out of the ring. DSR starts to get back up to the apron, but KOJ hits a baseball slide. KOJ rolls out of the ring, bashes DSR's head on the apron, then rolls him back into the ring. KOJ follows him in. DSR is on his back, as KOJ locks DSR's arms into his legs, pretzeling him. KOJ then turns DSR over, onto his knees. DSR can't get out! KOJ puts a foot up onto DSR's back, posing for the crowd, who snap lots of pictures. KOJ breaks up the predicament, and hotdogs a bit more for the crowd. DSR gets up and sets KOJ up for an Emoflow DDT, but KOJ counters into a Northern Lights Suplex.
1... 2... Kickout! DSR gets up again, grabs KOJ and delivers the EXPLODER SUPLEX! DSR gets up goes to the corner, waiting to strike with a Clothesline from TRL. KOJ gets up, DSR charges in. KOJ ducks and grabs DSR's arm, throws his legs up onto DSR's other arm, and pins DSR in a Crucifix!
1... 2... Kickout! DSR gets up and grabs KOJ once more, setting him up for what appears to be the Turbonegro Destroyer! DSR picks KOJ up for a Razor's Edge, instead, only for KOJ to squirm out of the hold. DSR turns around and KOJ grabs him and puts him in an AT LOCK! DSR struggles for a minute before finally tapping out!
FINK: The winner of this match, the KING OF JOBBERS!
*KOJ breaks the hold. He jumps up and down like crazy, he can't believe he won. DSR gets up and looks KOJ dead in the eyes. DSR offers a handshake, which KOJ accepts, still shocked that he won. DSR rolls out of the ring, allowing KOJ to celebrate. Cut to commercial.
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Post by Moxie loves Natalie on Nov 9, 2005 17:37:43 GMT -5
Fink: Introducing first, he is the "smashing submissions expert"... He is Union!!
<Union makes his way out to the ring, the crowd is quiet, and everyone is expecting Big Show, Ken Shamrock, Mankind and Test...>
Fink: Making his way to the ring... hailing from Minneapolis, Minnesota... He is the Number One Contender for the EWT Heavyweight Championship, He is... Moxie!!
<The crowd boos, and cheers, unsure of Moxie. He walks out from underneath the ToomiTron, Microphone in hand>
Moxie: Hey.. hey, what's with the boos? I brought Dorf to a 60 minute draw! Oh well... Today I'm coming to you.
<Moxie looks in the Camera>
Curly. Make next week's match Moxie... and Dorf.
<The crowd goes crazy for Moxie and Dorf!>
...
Versus whomever you choose! heh heh...
<Moxie drops the microphone and rushes to the ring, he's met by an axehandle by Union, and is on his knees>
<Union pulls Moxie up and drops him with a Fujiwara Armbar. Moxie rolls with it, stands up, and drops Union with a spinning armbreaker. Still holding on, Moxie drops a Leg onto the arm of Union. Union rolls forward, and kicks Moxie's knee as he slowly gets up. Moxie is on one knee, and Union hits a big chop. Union bounces off the opposite ropes, and attempts a Yakuza Kick. Moxie blocks, catching his foot. He pushes Union off his feet, and drops an elbow on the leg of Union. Moxie gets up and kicks Union, but his foot is caught, and Moxie's thrown off balance, falling down, and Union locks in an anklelock. Union stands up, and Moxie rolls forward, reversing the Anklelock. Union makes it to the ropes and Moxie is forced to break the hold.>
<Moxie laughs, and Union makes his way up. Union charges at Moxie who ducks for an attempted clothesline, but Union just kicks him in the chest. Union grabs Moxie's Arm and pulls him back down with a Fujiwara Armbar. Moxie rolls through again, and reverses, twisting Union's arm. Union reverses, clutching Moxie's wrist. He drops another elbow on Moxie's shoulder, locking in another fujiwara armbar. Moxie pulls Union's golden locks, and Union lets go, and Moxie rolls on his back. He kips up, and Union tosses him into the ropes. Moxie ducks an attempted clothesline and bounces back, and ends up on the recieving end of ANOTHER Fujiwara Armbar!>
<From underneath the ToomiTron, Mike and Joel, the Nyrds, make their way down to the ring! Mike jumps up to the apron, and the ref is distracted, as Joel runs to the timekeeper, and steals the chair.>
<Union sees Mike up on the Apron and confronts him and the ref, as Joel pushes the chair into Moxie's hand. Moxie stands up, and Union turns around... into a huge chairshot, by Moxie. Joel enters the ring and kicks Union a few times, and Moxie joins him. Mike continues to hold the attention of the referee, and Moxie starts beating Union with the chair. Moxie holds off, and Joel pulls Union into a corner, and pulls him up to the top of the turnbuckle. Moxie drops the chair, and Joel rolls out, as Mike lets the ref go. The ref turns around, as Moxie climbs the top turnbuckle, and hits The Oracle!>
1....2....3 It's over.
<The fans are rabid, and Moxie raises his hands, as he drops and rolls out of the ring, towards the back, getting hit with trash on the way out>
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Post by Joel, Mike, Currently...? on Nov 9, 2005 20:50:53 GMT -5
"Workin' for the Weekend" by Loverboy hits, and Chad and Tank, the Dicks, make their way out, shaking their fannies in their bow-ties, trying to delight the horny grandmas in the crowd, but there aren't any of those there. The Dicks reach the ring, and step in.
It's all about the Benjamin's baby...
Joel and Mike walk out, wearing jerseys, SeanJean's, just about any poser-wear you can think of. They stop at the top of the stage....
It's all about the Pentium's baby...
Joel and Mike rip off their poser-wear, revealing their Nintendo t-shirts and slacks, and the crowd loses it. Joel and Mike Cabbage Patch and moonwalk all the way down to the ring, and slide in. The Nyrds stare at the Dicks across the ring, and the Dicks begin showing off their Chippendales moves. They stop, and Joel and Mike look at eachother. They then begin busting out their poser moves. Joel and Mike really get into it, and don't notice Chad and Tank running at them, until they get clotheslined of course. Chad and Tank stomp on the downed Nyrds. Chad pull up Mike, and Tank helps him toss the poor Nyrd over the ropes. They both pick up Joel, and double irish whip him to the ropes. Upon his return, they both toss Joel into the air, and let him fall to the mat.
Chad goes to his corner, and Tank works on Joel's shoulder with stomps, a few arm wrenches, and an armbar. Tank gets up and jumps for a leg drop, but Joel pulls his arm out of the way. Joel gets up on his hands, and pushes down with his injured arm, apparently popping the shoulder back into place, and gets up. Joel grabs Tank's arm and wraps him in a straight-jacket hold, pulling him up to his feet. Tank backs Joel into the corner, slamming him into the turnbuckles, breaking the hold. Tank runs over to Chad and tags him in, and Tank retrieves Joel as Chad climbs to the top. Tank puts Joel over his knee, backbreaker style, and Chad prepares to take flight.
Mike pops up and pushes Chad from his perch, and sommersaults off the top, dropkicking Tank in the face. Mike helps Joel up, and they get Tank, and double Irish whip him into a corner across from them. Joel then whips Mike at Tank, and Mike hits a Stinger Splash with a little extra power. Tank stumbles out of the corner, and is hit with a bulldog by Joel, coming off the ropes. Joel and Mike stand on either side of Tank, and do a quick pop n' lock routine, before Joel sommersault legdrops Tank with Mike hitting a Red Star Press at the same time. Joel hooks the leg for a pin, but Chad pulls him out of the ring, and they begin to brawl at ring side.
Mike pulls up Tank and hits a quick DDT, then climbs to the top. Mike throws up the mid-westsidaz sign with his hands, then leaps off top for the Philo Tap...and misses as Tank moves out of the way. Chad suplexes Joel on the outside, and rolls into the ring. Tank sets up the Death Sentence (or whatever they call their version of the move) as Chad climbs to the top. Chad hits himself in the head a couple of times, psyching himself up, then launches himself into the air, hitting the Death Sentence, getting an incredible ammount of height. Tank covers Mike, looking for the win in the one, two, NO! Joel hits a senton bomb off the top onto the back of Tank, and the Dicks are denied. Joel gets up, and ducks a clothesline from Chad, and boots him in the stomach.
Joel hits the Bravestarr Clash (FINALLY I have a set name for this, promise) and gets up. Mike seems to be reading his mind, because he's already making his way up top, as Joel picks up Tank and slings him over his shoulder. Mike jumps off the top, and they hit the Zero Guys Left. Joel rolls Tank over, and gets the one, the two, and the BREAK UP BY CHAD! Joel and Mike stomp on Chad, and they lock in Dr. Robotnik's Bean Machine. Tank pulls Mike off of Chad, and Mike ducks his punch. Mike comes up with a Roaring Elbow, and takes him up top to hit the Life Force Code!
Mike pins Tank as Joel keeps his River City Stretch locked in, and gets the three count for the win! Mike flips out of the pin Super Crazy style, and both Nyrds celebrate the win with their hands in the air. And then, since their hands are in the air, they begin to shake 'em like they just don't care. Joel is handed a mic.
Joel: Hey, hey...we got a little off track there for a bit, but what happened happened. Ragnals, PTA...whichever of you end up holding the titles soon, we're comin' for you!
Mike: And when we do, we're coming down on you, HARD, like 8th level Mario Brothers BROTHA!
The crowd cheers Mike's interesting input, as Joel rolls his eyes. Joel and Mike head to the back, and we head to commercial.
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Post by girlnextdoor on Nov 9, 2005 23:01:50 GMT -5
*Singing can be heard in the darkness again.*
Where were you Where were you Tell me where were you Tell me where you were Tell me where you were Baby Tell me where were you??
*The singing stops.*
I used to go shopping. That's where I went. And people laughed at me. They laughed at me. But I didn't say anything funny. It was my clothes. It was the clothes I wore.
YOU GAVE ME THOSE CLOTHES!!! ON MY BIRTHDAY!!!
Do you remember buying them for me? You said it was the latest style.
But, HOW LATE WAS IT? HOW LATE?
It's never to late to be in style. It's never to late to go shopping. Yet, the continued to laugh at me.
MY CLOTHES!! MY CLOTHES!!! TAKE THEM BACK!!! TAKE THEM ALL BACK!!!!
*Suddenly, clothes start flying out of the darkness.*
You said they were from the Gap. You told me to fall into the Gap. I loved the Gap. I always wanted clothes from the Gap. I couldn't afford it.
You got them for me. You paid for them with your money. FOR MY BIRTHDAY!!
YOU RUINED MY BIRTHDAY PARTY!!!
YOU RUINED MY PARTY!!!
*Just then, sobbing could be heard that sounds like singing.*
It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to Cry if I want to, cry if I want to You would cry too if it HAPPENED to you
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Post by paulpodanski on Nov 10, 2005 1:12:37 GMT -5
Ultimo Chocula can be seen in his locker room, watching as two cookie crumb covered girls run out his room screaming.
Chocula: What? Are you chicks allergic to chocolate or something?
He sits in his room and Terri walks up slowly, staring at what just happened.
Terri: Ultimo, what in the hell are you doing in here? I just saw two nude cheerleaders run out covered with Oreo crumbs!!! What's that all about?
Ultimo: Hey babe... there's plenty of Chocula to come around... I'm like... the king size or something, you know?
Terri just shakes her head and walks out of the locker room. As she walks down the hallway, she bumps into a bleeding, and pretty angry lookin Paul.
Terri: Oh... ummm, hello Paul? What are you doing?
The camera cuts away and you can hear really wacky sound effects, including the cliche sound of screeching cat. The camera cuts back over and shows a really fat lookin version of Terri. With what looks like two balloons in their shirt and a really bad looking wig on their head. The Terri walks over and knocks on Ultimo Chocula's door.
Ultimo: What is it... I'm trying to watch porn... man. Norman the Nasty Nicotine Addict. Yeah, you know that old movie.
Terri?: Oh ummmm... it's me, Terri. Why don't you open the door so I can come in, strip for you, and then we can go rent out a room... you sexy... * slight pause * stud-muffin you!
Ultimo: Hell yeah!!!
The door swings open and Ultimo is staring at a really fat looking Terri.
Ultimo: Yikes... you look like you put the Golden Corral out of business!!! But oh well... come on in!
The obviously fake Terri giggles with a strange manish tone.
Terri?: Sure... just turn around and close your eyes and you will get a biiiiiig surprise.
Chocula immediately turns around, only to get clocked in the back of the head with a bowling ball, sending him falling foward like a sacks of bricks. The fake Terri runs over and goes for a cover. A referee just happens to walk by. 1....2....3!
The 1 at the corner of the screen shows another 1 right across from it on the other side. Paul/Terri quickly takes the title and runs off, passing by GM Curly Long.
Curly: Was that a woman?
Fade out to next scene.
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Nov 10, 2005 2:08:05 GMT -5
(30 minutes later Ultimo comes out of his dressing room holding his aching noggin. Terri walks by and slaps him across the face really hard.)
UC: "Aaaagh! What was that for?"
Terri: "You know what that's for you pervert!"
UC: "Ok. Look. I'm sorry about that. For reals. I'm sorry. I ate 247 Oreos off of tight cheerleader booty and I kind of got lost my mind. I know it's platonic between us but I just got all weird and stuff. I'm ok now though. I'm straight. Really."
Terri: (gives UC the skunk eye) "I had a feeling. You never tried anything fresh before so I figured you were high or temporarily insane or something. I'm still mad at you though."
UC: "I'll make it up to you in shoes."
Terri: (perks up) "You're forgiven!"
UC: "Good. Good. But right now I gotta do something. Did you see a fatter, uglier version of you wearing a toolbelt run by here?"
Terri: "You mean Paul? Last I saw he was in the lounge shotgunning oyster shooters. He was still wearing the dress too. That's some good old fashioned nightmare fuel." (shudders)
UC: "Great. That's perfect. I'll take you to Saks in just a little while but first I gotta knock that drunk out and take my belt back. You stay right here. I'll be............uh oh...."
(UC looks woozy and starts to wobble. He holds his head and leans up against the wall and tries to get his bearings. Terri looks concerned.)
Terri: "Oh my god! Ultimo! Are you ok?"
UC: "Ever get hit in the head full force with a bowling ball?"
Terri: "No."
UC: "Don't."
(UC rights himself and staggers a little bit before crashing in a heap on a nearby couch. Terri runs over to check on him as we go to the next segment.)
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Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
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Post by Curly Long on Nov 10, 2005 7:00:10 GMT -5
*We are back in the main arena and on a side platform some ancient pillars and the 'Boob Tube' sit next to some chairs. An assortment of toga wearing beauty's line the area carrying an assortemnet of fruit. A couple of them are getting a little racy much to the delight of the male part of the audience. Suddenly 'Moving on Up' Begins to play and out comes Curly Long with Mr. Big. The crowd immeadiatly boos the pair as Curly grabs a microphone*
CURLY: Welcome to Curly is EWT!! . . and that is now so accurate I might have to find a new cacthphrase ...
*A 'Die Curly, Die!' chant starts up*
CURLY: Yeah, yeah . . you love me really . . I've read those websites you pointdexer's go to . . I saw your love for all things Curly and that wasn't even a wrestling page! . .
*More Boos descend on Curly but he ignores it, and instead grabs a grape from one of the toga wearing lovely's*
CURLY: Hey there baby . . . wait why have you got Oreo's crumbs on you?
*Mr.Big bends down to whisper something to Curly
CURLY: That sly dog . . . three times you say . . in his locker room . . . on a tray! . .
*Curly winks at the girl in a 'nice one' sort of way before returning his attention ot he audience*
CURLY: Now as much as I'd like to talk about Raskall . . . I don't really care for the mentally disabled ...
*A loud 'VLB' chant starts up again*
CURLY: .. c'mon you know there has to be something wrong upstairs if he wants to step inside the ring with the 'Painmaker' Mr. Big . . he's over 7ft tall, he weighs in at nearly 400lbs and can crush a jar of strawberry jam in his hands! . . . I think I'd better call the director, the funeral director . . hehe . . so Raskall whats it to be? . . burial or cremation? . .
More boo's ring out from the audience
CURLY: Anyway, MY NEXT GUEST TONIGHT! . . He is the first ever repeat guest from a previous Colossal Coliseum. He is a man whose pain I feel & that’s all I want to feel from him. He is the man who gave ME exclusively the first glimpse of the damage done after his horrific incident at Crap-A-Mania II. And ever since that incident this man has not been the same & he is here tonight to set a few things straight. Let us bring out the reason why the EWT is as magnificent as it is today. He is the one & only......FLEX! MAGNIFICEEEENT!!!!
*”The Lonely Man” is heard throughout the arena as ”The Doctor of Muscletology” Dr. Frederick Delavier enters through the curtain & right behind him follows out Flex Magnificent huddled in his potato sack & shiny new rhinestone rag short cape. Flex Magnificent begins to climb up the short staircase to Curly’s Coliseum. The beautiful toga girls can't help but check out Flex's amazing body, and Mr.Big has to hold one back who is clearly trying to throw herself at Flex. He rips off the cape & sits down on the comfortable cheetah print couch Curly has put in place of the old man juice stained leather one from the previous weeks. Dr. Delavier joins him as they are ready to be interviewed. A loud 'he can't wrestle' chant starts u, which riles up Flex, but Curly turns to the crowd*
CURLY: Damm you people this is Flex Magnificent, this man has single-handedley been one of the most dominant wrestlers in EWT Today. He has beaten the likes of Kurt Angle, Rikishi, Kane and so many more, hell he even removed that wrinkly bag Mae Young from the EWt Permanantly!
*THe crowd begins an 'Arsehole'Chant at all 4 men*
CURLY: Just ignore them Flex, they wouldn't know greatness if it came up knocked on there door and offered itself with a free car! Anyway, it’s been awhile since you were on the Colossal Coliseum . . . and I have to say those supplements you sent me to aid in my workouts are really great.
Flex nods in acknoledgement of the compliment
CURLY:Now Flex it seems not much has changed with your predicament.
FLEX: You are indeed right Herr Curly. Aftuh Crap-a-Mania II things huv not changed AT ALL.....Week after week I huv caused more mayhem, more destruction than evuh before in da EWT & de target of my chaos has not even flinched an inch, but things are about to change.
CURLY: How is that?
FLEX: You see Herr Curly as I said a few weeks ago obviously my actions huv not done the damage I set out do do & it seems my words haven’t scratched the surface. So I’m going to huv to dake it do a whole nutha levul. A personal levul.
CURLY: Another level? Personal too, huh? Wait....If it’s not by actions or even words....Than how in the hell...
FLEX: *interrupts* Herr Curly DIS IS HOW!!! Next week on yo show if you permit I’d like do call out FACE TO FACE THE OBJECT OF MY INFECTION!!!! THE MAN AND WO-MAN WHO TURNED ME INTO THE DEFORMED BEAST YOU SEE IN FRONT OF YOU!!! LIMEY AND CARLA NEXT WEEK IF YOU HAVE ANY SENSE OF COURAGE I DARE YOU DWO DO COME DO DA COLISEUM AND FACE ME!!!!
CURLY: Holy sh....
FLEX: LIMEY!!! Next week without actions! Without words!.......I will make sure dat you are just “another brick in da wall” of Maniflex Destiny!
*”The Lonely Man” begins playing as Flex & Delavier get out of their seats. Flex raises his hands in victory & walks back to the locker room with Dr. Delavier in tow. Curly is puzzled about this whole conversation & begins to speak*
CURLY: What the hell does he mean without words & without actions? .. Of all my geusts announcements this is truly magnificent! . . Either way it’s gonna make for great ratings on my show! . . . what do you think Big?
Mr.BIg: . . . um . .
CURLY: Interrupting Big Exactly! . . . So you sewer swimming bumkins, tune in next week for what could possibly be a real megashow, when we see if Limey and Flex go hed to head! .. and maybe he won’t destroy the set for a change! . . hey wait a minute he didn't wreck the set this time, thank god he's on the mend ..
As Curly says this a stage hand runs out to the Coliseum, he talks to Curly quickly.
CURLY: He's Smashed one of the camera vans? . . why? . . . they caught a glimpse of his face! . . oh for FU ..
(camera conviently shuts down as we go to commercial)
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B.A.
Grimlock
Posts: 13,335
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Post by B.A. on Nov 10, 2005 15:32:39 GMT -5
Coach is in the ring with a mic.
Now people, listen up. Its time for a proper interview to get done. Crowd: You suck!! You suck!! Coach: All month long, there is one person that has gotten unique attention. That is just over 2 months ago, Eddie Omega, the college senior debuted. And from then, he has held the OX belt in which some would say is a remarkable accomplish. At this time..
*music starts* I would love to introduce, the OX division title holder himself... Eddie Omega!!
eddie walks down the ring in his omega psi phi shirt and sunglasses.. Eddie goes to shake hands with the coach, then walks around the ring with the title belt in his posession.
Coach: Now eddie, the people want to know..how have you done it?
Eddie: Let me tell you something coach, I told everyone...Everyone!! that eddie omega is going to be the next biggest thing that came to ewt. How many months did it take for me to achieve gold?? No, how many weeks??? Hell the I can measure it in days, and you know why? Its cause im that good of a competitor. Crowd: boooo
Eddie: "You know...*looks around* You know I just dont get it, who the hell are you people!! *goes to ropes to argue with the crowd and comes back to the mic* Who in the hell do you think you are? I hear of people saying they dont like me? I saw the ratings that people gave me and my performance. I right now can say everyone of you fans, each and everyone is full of s***.....
*coach is surprised but agrees* No one has gotten the oppurtunity like I have and not disappointed, but yet, you folk have done it. And dont think I dont know about the wrestlers backstage. They too can go to hell....if they have a problem with me, if they do, then I challenge any hoss, and green guy, any short midget that wants to take this title and my reputation away from me. You heard it right, anybody that wants me, come and find me cause Eddie Omega, ...is the best thing going for the Ewt.
*talks to coach and then leaves the ring with belt on shoulder*
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Post by Moxie loves Natalie on Nov 10, 2005 18:24:41 GMT -5
<Mean Gene catches up to Moxie...>
MG: Moxie! Mooooxiee!!
Mox: What do you want?
MG: What did you just do?!
Mox: The hell are you talking about?
MG: Your fight with Union?!
Mox: ... Yeah, I beat him with the Oracle?
MG: No! When you took a chair to Union! He probably has a concussion now!
Mox: What?
MG: You just beat the hell out of Union with a chair!
Mox: No. I just beat hium with the Oracle. He put me in a Fujiwara Armbar. I got out. I threw him into the corner, and landed the ORACLE.
MG: Do I have to show you the footage?!
Mox: There's nothing else to it! I never beat him with the chair! This interview is OVER!
<Moxie pushes the camera out of his face and walks towards his locker room>
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Post by dorf on Nov 10, 2005 20:38:28 GMT -5
Dorf vs. Mad Man McGeeFinkel: This match is scheduled is for one-fall and it is for the EWT World Heavyweight Championship. *Mad Man McGee’s Music plays* Coming down to the ring, weighing in at 313 pounds, from Whitehorse Yukon, he is a former BRAWL Heavyweight Champion, I give you MAD MAN MCGEEEEEEEEEE! *Mad Man McGee comes from under the EWT banter (CrapTron) and shows his hate to the crowd as he does a hand gesture to show that BRAWL is better than EWT. With that gesture, the crowd boo’s this guy as he starts strutting down the ramp. His hillbilly overalls make him look like a southerner, but the mask and sleek muscular body makes him look like an ox of a Canadian. He enters the ring fine to does his gesture again to cement the boo’s from the crowd.* Finkel: *Dorf’s music plays* Coming down to the ring, accompanied with Diva-Dorf, weighing in at 268 pounds, from Filthadelphia Pencilvania, he is your current EWT World Heavyweight Champion, I GIVE YOU, DORF! *Dorf and Diva-Dorf come under the banter to cheers that amass as loud as the pops he got during ‘We Couldn’t Be Arsed With a Name.’ Both have a smile as they hold their hands, walking down the ramp. As they walk down the ramp an explosive pyro is shown smacking near the CrapTron celebrating Dorf’s entrance. The two enter the ring fine as the pyro stops as Dorf jumps onto the ring, making the climax pyro. He held the second rope so that Diva-Dorf could enter the ring fine. McGee stands outside as Dorf climbs to the top rope and shows off with his belt. Diva-Dorf points to the champion as Dorf points to his belt and flexes his muscles to show off.* *Dorf holds the ropes again to Diva-Dorf and watches her safely exit the ring and onto the outside so that she can cheer her boyfriend on. As soon as Dorf turned around, McGee sprints at him and hits Dorf with a running front punch. Dorf goes down easily as Diva-Dorf shows shock with Dorf going down so quickly. McGee immediately pins when Finkel signals the bell to start the match. Bell rings to start the match. McGee attempts for the win.* Referee: 1…………………………………….2……………………………*Dorf kicks out* *McGee looks pissed as he seemed anticipated to win the EWT World Heavyweight title in less than a minute into the match. McGee shouts out a loud Lumberjack grunt that gets the crowd stirred up. He struts over to Dorf and takes his time to make Dorf stand up. He extends his trunk right arm back and gives Dorf a stiff hard right to Dorf’s noggin. Dorf goes down easily as the Lumberjackin’, overall wearin’ Canadian laughs majestically after finally finishing the first minute of the match.* *McGee makes Dorf stand up once more. He drags Dorf to a corner and gives Dorf a stiff European Uppercut, to make Dorf clinch his mandible. Meanwhile, Diva-Dorf shrieks in terror; at times closing her eyes. McGee points to Diva-Dorf after that European Uppercut and has a message to say to her:* McGee: *laughs majestically w/Canadian accent* Ha, Ha…would you like to go out with zee Canadian Lumberyack, eh? *flexes to Diva-Dorf* Diva-Dorf: No you ugly ****! <McGee looks in shock that Diva-Dorf said something bad.> McGee: *calms down and laughs majestically again* Ha, Ha zee Diva-Dorf. You would zee better aboot being Diva-McGee! *Diva-Dorf climbs up to the apron with a smile to think that McGee got his wish. McGee then laughs again, but more of a perverted laugh to keep up with the attention of Diva-Dorf. Meanwhile, Dorf is slowly getting up and eventually distracts the referee for what Diva-Dorf planned to do to McGee.* *Diva-Dorf’s face became more red with envy as she goes up to McGee and gives a pec of a kiss. McGee blushes. That very second that McGee blushed, Diva-Dorf extends her right arm back and hits McGee with her hardest B**** Slap of Doom ever! McGee only goes partway down as Diva-Dorf used her free arm to Low Blow McGee.* *Dorf then runs up to McGee before the referee could distinguish that Diva-Dorf hit McGee in the testicular fortitude and delievers a Bulldog to McGee. Dorf covers.* Ref: 1…………………………………2………………………..*McGee kicks out.* *Dorf immediately goes for a Reverse Armbar to try to keep the big guy down. Dorf holds the lock-in for about a minute as McGee starting to get up. Dorf runs to the ropes and runs toward McGee with a Running Clothesline to keep McGee down. Too bad McGee only stayed down for five seconds as Dorf was shocked that he got up as soon as Dorf posed to the crowd (in front of his girlfriend) after busting McGee down with that Clothesline. Dorf looks in shock that McGee got up that quick.* *Dorf runs to McGee again for another chance to do a Running Clothesline, but McGee just laughed at him when Dorf tried to take him down again. Dorf runs to the ropes again and does nothing when McGee attempts to do a violent take down to Dorf, but Dorf ducts. When they collided again, McGee attempts to do a Back Body Drop to Dorf, but in mid-air Dorf uses his weight to give an Inverted DDT to McGee. McGee goes down hard and clinches his neck. Dorf poses to the crowd this time showing his style to prepare for his set-up to one of his finishers. The crowd cheers vehemothly to excelsior volume levels.* *Dorf made McGee stand up with a majority of strength and then picks McGee up with all his strength and performs the DORF BOTTOM! Jim Hoss goes ecstatic as usual for this special move. Hoss: DORF BOTTOM! DORF BOTTOM! DORF BOTTOM! DORF BOTTOM! DORF BOTTOM! DORF BOTTOM! DORF BOTTOM! DORF BOTTOM! DORF BOTTOM! DORF BOTTOM!…and so forth. *This gets the crowd all stirred up, but Dorf attempts for the pin since this worked for the victory on a hoss earlier.* Referee: 1………………………………………2…………………………………...*McGee barely kicks out.* *Dorf drags McGee’s lifeless carcass to the closest corner and moves him to the top rope with all of Dorf’s strength. Dorf gets to the top rope fine and poses to the crowd that its time for the AbDortion. Dorf makes McGee stand up and performs the AbDortion to McGee perfectly into a pin.* Referee: 1……………………………………...2………………………………………3! Winner: Still EWT World Heavyweight Champion, DORF!*Just as Dorf celebrates with his victory, a happy Moxie stands under the CrapTron clapping Dorf on. The camera fades as Dorf looks worried as Moxie has a great smile on his face for Dorf’s quick win over McGee.*
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Post by pta on Nov 11, 2005 7:19:29 GMT -5
Rob Conway's Strange sounding theme song starts up and Rob Conway walks out. The crowd gives him the Conway pop... by just staring at him akwardly. Conway attempts to get more ehat as he walks down the ring, by slapping a fan, giving a cameraman a low blow, and even making loud racist comments, but to no effect. The fans just stare.
Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Approaching the ring, from Pittsburgh Pensylvania, weighing in at 230 pounds, Rob Conway!!!
Conway slides to the ring, and as usual keeps his shades on.
Suddenly, Canceler's seldom heard, singles action entrance theme starts up and the crowd immediately starts booing, but not as loudly since Pain and Confidence aren't coming with him.
Announcer: And Representing the P.T.A., weighing in at a gigantic 515 pounds, The Canceler!!!
Canceler grunts and quickly steps into the ring, Conway backing up a bit, feeling like he's about to experience some pain very soon. Regardless, he immediately tries locking up with Canceler as the bell rings.
Big Mistake. Canceler shoves him back hard without much effort, almost sending him all the way into the ropes. Conway looks a bit shocked, but runs forward, going for a clothesline, which is easily countered into a powerful hip toss, sending Conway sailing. As he slowly sits up, holding his now aching back, but struggles to get back up. He glares at Canceler removing his sunglasses.
Canceler quickly snatches them away and crushes them in one of his single powerful hands, then letting what's left of the glasses sprinkle onto the ground.
Conway looks like he's seen a ghost now and tries to exit the ring, but Canceler obviously isn't going to let that happen. He grabs Conway's arm from behind and pulls him forward, nailing him with a massive clothesline. Conway goes down hard.
Canceler immediately runs backward, bouncing off the ropes and coming back, immiedately leaping up with a 515 POUND Leg Drop!!! Conway yelps in pain as Canceler goes for a cover. 1....2....
But no, he's not done with him yet. He gets off Conway, then reaches down and yanks him up with a single arm wrapped around his neck. Conway is holding his neck now as Canceler grabs his waist and falls backwards for a one man flapjack into the mat. As Conway hits the mat, he almost bounces up a foot into the air as he does so.
Canceler looks down as a completely outmatched Conway stares up, only to get lifted up once again. Canceler then hoists him onto his shoulders, looking for the I.S.D. it looks like, but instead carrying him over to the turnbuckle and climbing up to the top, then falling backwards for a SUPER I.S.D
Conway is knocked out. But Canceler goes ahead and covers anyway. 1...2...3!!!
Announcer: Here is your winner... The Canceler!!!
Canceler growls and slowly rises up, dusting himself off and slowly exitting the ring, the crowd booing him as he does so.
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Limey
Unicron
It's been awhile.
Posts: 3,062
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Post by Limey on Nov 11, 2005 7:23:52 GMT -5
*Japanese music plays throughout as the screen pans across a background of a house on the seafront. Mr. Miyagi walks up to an unknown figure (Back turned) and lectures him.*
Miyagi: Have you forgotted what I have taught you? Show me wax-on, wax-off.
*The figure deflects Miyagi's blows effortlessly as Miyagi attempts to strike the figure.*
Miyagi: HOI!!! HOI!!! HOI!!!! HOI!!!! Show me sand a floor!
*Again, the figure deflects Miyagi's blows.*
Miyagi: HOI!!! HOI!!! HOI!!! HOI!!! Show me paint a fence!!!
*The figure again deflects Miyagi's blows.*
Miyagi: HOI!!! HOI!!! HOI!!! HOI!!! Show me paint a house!!!
*The figure deflects Miyagi's blows.*
Miyagi: HOI!!! HOI!!! HOI!!! HOI!!! Very good. Now show me Frat Attack!!!
*The figure slaps Miyagi across the chest, making the music halt abruptly. Miyagi spins in the air before landing on the ground. The camera turns around the figure and it turns out to be Eddie Omega.*
Eddie: Oh, sorry about that. Was I supposed to hold back or something? Pfft. Not my style, old man. So, when am I going to learn that whole Crane-kick thing?
*There is a pause. Miyagi is not getting up. Eddie looks around before checking Miyagi's pockets, and taking his car keys.*
Eddie: What's that? I can take the cars I waxed for you? Why, thank you, Miyagi-san!
*The scene changes to the EWT logo. An announcer is heard over the industrial rock music playing in the background.*
Announcer: EWT!!! The true classic wrestling entertainment of today!!
*Cut to Eddie again, driving a flashy car with many college chicks riding. He is wearing sunglasses, and is draping the EWT tri-state championship on his shoulders.*
Eddie: One more time, ladies. With feeling!
College chicks: #You're the best...AROUND!!! Nothin's gonna ever keep you down! You're the best...AROUND!! Nothin's gonna ever keep you down...
Eddie: Damn, it's good to be me....
*The EWT logo flashes across the screen.*
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Post by girlnextdoor on Nov 11, 2005 10:53:24 GMT -5
*Singing can be heard in the darkness again.*
It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to Cry if I want to, cry if I want to You would cry too if it HAPPENED to you
*But then the singing stops, as silence fills the dark room.*
.....................................................................................................................................
Should I speak now? Should I do what is expected of me? Because, all my life I have done what is expected of me. Why? Because you told me to. You told me that's what folks wanted from me. You told me that's what was expected of me.
Thing is, I was not comfortable being your little puppet. YOU PULLED MY STRINGS!!! MY STRINGS!!!
Everywhere we went, it's because you wanted to go. We never went where I wanted to go.
YOU WERE ASHAMED OF MY FAVORITE PLACES!!! ASHAMED!!!
All this time, I was your little puppet. YOUR PUPPET!!!
Well, I GOT NO STRINGS!!!
I GOT NO STRINGS!!!!
*Suddenly, the darkness breaks into what is now the traditional promo song.*
I've got no strings To hold me down To make me fret, or make me frown I had strings But now I'm free There are no strings on me
Hi-ho the me-ri-o That's the only way to go I want the world to know Nothing ever worries me
Hi-ho the me-ri-o I'm as happy as can be I want the world to know Nothing ever worries me
I've got no strings So I have fun I'm not tied up to anyone They've got strings But you can see There are no strings on me
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Post by Chrysta on Nov 11, 2005 13:01:56 GMT -5
*Chrysta is walking backstage, being pestered by Ms. White.*
Ms. White: Please, Chrysta? Pleasepleasepleaseplease-
Chrysta: Ms. White! WHy do you insist on begging to takemy place for this week's match?
Ms. White: Chrysta, come one. Lita was the last one I fought before I was taken out of action. PLUS, it was her fault Viscera squashed me the way he did, remember?
Chrysta: Perhaps...but in any matter, Ms. White, no.
Ms. White: Oh, but I neeeeed to...
Lita: Well, well, well.
*Lita and Edge, carrying the MitB suitcase, approach Chrysta & White. Lita and White stare down one another.*
Lita: Trish.
Chrysta: Lita.
Lita: Well, when the girls back at the E told me about this, I was unsure about it. But now, I guess I can laugh my head off, huh?
White: Listen, at least I'm not the one acting like a slut.
Lita: Oh, really? What about the last few weeks, then? You with your 'Eskimo Pie'?
White: Well, I, uh...
Lita: I knew it. Well, listen, Trish, I got an idea for you. After I beat your precious 'Ice Queen', how about you and me fight for the WWE Women's title?
White: Well, I gue-
Chrysta: I don't believe you will have the opportunity to do either, Miss Dumas.
Edge: Hey! Are you saying she's going to lose?
Chrysta: I didn't say either, Copeland. All I said was that she may not be able to do either.
Edge: And just WHAT the hell is that supposed to mean?
Chrysta: You'll see...in due time...
*Chrysta walks off, and Ms. White looks back at Lita and Edge, and sticks her tongue out at them before following behind Chrysta.*
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Post by Oceanic on Nov 11, 2005 14:03:06 GMT -5
Oceanic enters the arena wrapped up in a (fake) fur parka like an eskimo. A few steps into the arena she takes the hood off and her eyes are as big as saucers and shivering.
Oceanic: "My god! Remind me never to come to Alaska again! Where's that space heater?"
She sees a space heater and huddles around it. Mike Ragnal walks by and sees her.
Mike: "I bet you miss Hawaii even more now, don't you?"
Oceanic: "No doubt! I'm booking my flight back as soon....."
Oceanic turns around and sees who she's talking to and her attitude changes.
Oceanic: "Oh. It's you. Excuse me, I think I'll find a different space heater."
Mike: "Look. I know you and Linda have unresolved issues and I understand that. But Linda is still my sister no matter what. I'm sticking by her. But I also have the utmost respect for you. For what it's worth, I think you'd make a great champion some day. Well......see you around."
Mike begins to walk off but Oceanic stops him.
Oceanic: "Wait. Mike!"
Mike turns around and walks back towards her.
Oceanic: "Thanks. I appreciate that. I can't blame you for sticking up for your sister."
Mike: "Don't worry about it."
Oceanic: "Do you mind if I ask you something?"
Mike: "What is it?"
Oceanic: "How did you do it? How did you become successful so quickly without compromising yourself? It seems no one wants to give me a title shot unless I show some skin to the moronic frat boys in the crowd."
Mike: "I heard about that. I know how hard it is to get your foot in the door around here. When I first showed up everyone thought I would burn out in a couple weeks. Then they wanted to give me a really dumb gimmick to boost the ratings."
Oceanic: "Costanza?"
Mike: "Yeah. He wanted me to stick me with a dead beat dad gimmick."
Oceanic: "Oh brother."
Mike: "Tell me about it. But I stuck with it. I kept doing my thing week after week. Soon they started paying more attention to me. Some guys even tried knocking me down a few pegs. But they couldn't do it. My point is, it's not going to be easy but if you keep doing what you're doing they'll have no choice but to give you a title shot."
Oceanic: "Do you think so?"
Mike holds up his half of the Tag Team Titles.
Mike: "I'm living proof."
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Post by rnt on Nov 11, 2005 16:13:54 GMT -5
We cut to the EWT Arena where the freezing cold fans are awaiting the next match. Meanwhile, a very special commentator is sitting in the WCW position a the announcer's desk.
Pat Summerall: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the EWT Arena, where it is a brisk 32 degrees below zero, and it's just about game time. Let's go down to the frozen tundra in the ring, where my broadcast colleague is awaiting our next match. John?
John Madden: Thank you Pat Summerall. And I'll tell ya, it sure is a chilly one today! I can barely feel my fingers, but I'm sure that the EWT Superstars can still play a great game tonight! This kinda reminds me of that one time when I was playing Frisbee with my dog and it was real cold out and I tossed the Frisbee for him, and the poor thing got Frisbee stuck in his mouth. Took me two hours to pry the thing out of there. And then there was another time when...
Summerall: Thank you John. Well, here come the announcer for this match. My broadcast colleague, John Madden, is currently returning to the booth, and it looks like this match can get under way.
IF YOU EVER TAKE A TRIP DOWN TO COBB COUNTY, GEORGIA YOU BETTER READ THE SIGNS, RESPECT THE LAW AND ORDER YOU'LL SERVE HAAARD TIME...
Howard Finkel: The f-f-f-f-following contest is scheduled for ONE f-f-f-f-fall! Approaching the ring, from C-C-C-C-Cobb County, Georgia, weighing in at 315 pounds, the Big B-B-B-Boss Man!!
Summerall: Here's the Big Boss Man, John.
Madden: Now here's a guy that anyone would like on their team. Big, burly, and mean. He wrestles matches the way matches should be wrestled.
NOW YOU'RE MESSIN' WITH...A SON OF A B**** (NOW YOU'RE MESSIN' WITH A SON OF A B****)
Finkel: And from The Club, weighing in at 230 pounds, Rick Raskall!!
Madden: Now here's a guy who's a fine athlete. He can do it all in the ring. Even in conditions like these, he can really show his skills in the ring.
Summerall: And there's the opening bell. This match is under way.
Boss Man tries to keep his balance in the slippery, icy ring. Raskall hangs on to the ropes to keep himself up. Boss Man tries to twirl his nightstick threateningly, but it slips out of his hand. On instinct he reaches out and tries to recover it, but slips and falls flat on his backside.
Summerall: A slow start to this match. Both men are trying to brave these conditions.
Cut to replay of Boss Man slipping
Madden: (drawing on the screen) Now you see here, he's trying to twirl the stick here, then he drops it, the stick goes down here, you see that, and then as he tries to recover the stick, he goes down instead here. That's not fundamental wrestling and if you don't wrestle with fundamentals, you're going to lose the match.
Boss Man grabs the ropes and pulls himself to his feet. Raskall and Boss Man make their way towards each other on flat feet. Boss Man throws a punch at Raskall. Raskall returns with another punch. Boss Man whips Raskall, who slides across the ring to the ropes and back, then ducks a clothesline. He slides back and chopblocks Boss Man's knee.
Summerall: Boss Man goes down.
Madden: Now you see here, Boss Man couldn't keep his balance, and Raskall hitting him from behind only complicated that. That's why Boss Man couldn't keep his balance.
Summerall: Thank you, John.
Raskall slides off the ropes and hits an elbow drop. He tries to get back to his feet, but keeps slipping. He finally rights himself and slides off the ropes, but Boss Man nails him with a clothesline. Both of them go down.
Summerall: There's a good hit by Boss Man.
Cut to replay
Madden: (drawing on the screen) Now you see here, Raskall going off the rope but he doesn't see Boss Man coming right for him, he gets up and BOOM! Raskall goes down.
Boss Man struggles to his feet, and picks up Raskall. He whips Raskall to the ropes, but Raskall slides back and ducks a clothesline. He slides back towards Boss Man and rams his shoulder into Boss Man's gut. Both men slide across the ring to the frozen ropes, which break on impact, sending both men to the floor.
Summerall: And there go the ring ropes. Raskall and Boss Man are now on the floor.
Cut to replay
Madden: (drawing on screen) Now you see here, Raskall manages to avoid the clothesline, and Boss Man doesn't see Raskall here, and both of them end up going right to the floor. That's good fundamental wrestling.
With Boss Man down, Raskall manages to climb back into the ring. He slides to one end of the ring, then comes back, sliding off the ring apron and right onto Boss Man.
Summerall: Raskall comes crashing down on Boss Man.
Cut to replay
Madden: Excellent use of the field here. Raskall knows that the ring is icy, so he uses that to his advantage. And here he slides over right into Boss Man. That's good fundamental wrestling.
Boss Man and Raskall both get to their feet and trade punches. Boss Man grabs Raskall and slams his face onto the frozen ring apron, then shoves his face against it. One side of Raskall's face is now glowing red.
Madden: Raskall had better be careful out there. That ice is cold!
Boss Man rolls Raskall back into the ring. He re-enters the ring as well. He signals for the Boss Man Slam.
Summerall: Looks like Boss Man has a play ready.
Madden: I think Boss Man is gonna go for the Boss Man Slam.
Summerall: Thanks John.
Boss Man whips Raskall into the ropes. Raskall slides back, and Boss Man catches him for the Boss Man Slam. But Raskall hooks Boss Man's head and delivers a DDT. Both men are down.
Summerall: That strategy did not go down as planned.
Cut to replay
Madden: Now you see here, Boss Man's got him up, but if you look here, Raskall gets his arm hooked around Boss Man's head. That leads to the DDT.
Raskall struggles to sit up. He slides himself on his butt to the turnbuckle. He pulls himself up with the ropes and attempts to climb to the top.
Summerall: Rick Raskall is taking a risk here.
Madden: I don't know if he should attempt a move like that in these conditions.
Raskall leaps off the top rope, but slips and falls down flat on his face. Boss Man rolls over and goes for a pin
1...2...kickout.
Summerall: And Rick Raskall knows that this one isn't over yet.
Madden: Rick Raskall has a lot of heart and drive. If he has to pull one out in the final minute, chances are he will.
Boss Man reaches down to pick up Raskall, but Raskall grabs Boss Man and rolls him into a small package. Boss Man reaches for the ropes, but Raskall pushes off the ropes with his foot, sending the both of them sliding toward the center of the ring. Raskall stil has Boss Man's shoulders down.
1...2...3!
Howard Finkel: Here is your w-w-w-winner, Rick Raskall!!
Summerall: And that's the end of this one. A tough fight until the end, but Rick Raskall managed to pull it out. Our senior producer is Curly Long. Our head officer in charge of booking is Curly Long. This match was sponsored by EWT Shopzone. For Howard Finkel and John Madden, this is Pat Summerall. Good night.
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ape
Unicron
Aunt Blabby Tells All.
bea wants all you sweathogs to take a look at what a REAL man is supposed to look like
Posts: 3,223
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Post by ape on Nov 11, 2005 17:30:10 GMT -5
*a promo begins to air. all you can see is static...the static lightens a little bit, and the image of psychoapeguy sitting in a padded room with his head down is shown. he is rocking back and forth with a pair of scissors in his hands. the camera begins to zoom in on ape, as the rocking gets slower and slower. ape's hand begins to shake...as the camera is very close on ape's face, ape looks up at the camera suddenly with a grin on his face...*
i'm....hehe....i'm....i'm coming home!.....hehe....oh....give me a home.....where the buffalo roam.....
*ape lifts up the scissors and begins to cut off his eyelashes as he continues to sing and the camera slowly zooms out.*
...and the deer...hehe....the deer and the antelope...PLAY!!
*ape jumps to his feet and begins to slash away at the padded walls with the scissors. after a few moments, he drops the scissors...then drops to his knees in front of the wall, and curls into a fetal position. he continues to hum "home on the range" as the camera zooms in slightly on the wall, where the words "i'm coming home" as sloppily sliced into the padding. the humming gets louder and the static begins to grow heavy once again. within seconds, static is all you see with ape's humming still echoing in the background as the promo cuts out.*
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Nov 11, 2005 22:30:56 GMT -5
* We cut to Jason Costanza's office, where h's filling out paperwork. After a few seconds, a knock is heard on the door.*
COSTANZA: Come in.
*Linda Ragnal walks into the office and takes a seat.*
LINDA: Listen, Jason...we have to talk. It's about the finish you gave me for my match against Rosa.
COSTANZA: What about it?
LINDA: It says here Rosa beats me, after taking so much damage from weapons...with a Sweet Chin Muzak?!
COSTANZA: Well, we see a lot of good potential in Rosa, especially with her time hanging around HBH. She could make for a very good-
LINDA:Listen. Don't feed me that crap. I told Rosa why I chose Carla over her. The only reason I gave her this match was so I could stop her whining. And the reason I gave her the option of stipulation was so she could put up or shut up. Unless Hell was to freeze over, Rosa would NEVER be able to beat me with such a victory. So you can take this ending, and stick it up your-
COSTANZA: *Stands up* You know what? What is wrong with you girls? Seriously. First Oceanic, then you! You girls have no respec-
LINDA: No respect?! Look, pal, I may be the heel of this company right now, but I have some dignity. Some girl seen as eyecandy at sometime in her life is NOT titleworthy! Do you get it yet?
COSTANZA: Well, I-
LINDA: Forget it, Jason. I'm doing this match how it SHOULD be done, and there's nothing YOU can do!
*Linda storms out of the room, title in hand. Jason just looks at Linda as she leaves the room.*
JASON: God damn these girls...
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Post by Oceanic on Nov 12, 2005 1:01:50 GMT -5
Jazz walks out behind the curtain with Rodney Mack by her side. Both are looking particularly intimidating tonight, Mack threatens to back hand a rowdy fan. Jazz gets into the ring and flexes. Oceanic's music and lights come on and she comes out. She's in her normal wrestling gear but she also still wrapped up in the parka from earlier. She enters the ring and braces herself before taking the parka off. She's covered in goosebumps and shivering a bit. Much to the delight of the numb skull males, she's so cold it appears she's smuggling raisins. The bell rings and the two circle each other before tying up. Jazz over powers and throws Oceanic down on her caboose. Oceanic gets back up and considers a different approach. They tie up again and Oceanic puts Jazz in a side headlock. Jazz reverses by picking Oceanic up in a back suplex position then throws her forward across the ring causing Oceanic to land on her tush again. She stands back up again, thinking up a new game plan. Jazz puts her hand up, suggesting a test of strength. Oceanic looks at her like she's crazy but decides to humor Jazz and they lock hands. Jazz looks to be winning but Oceanic suddenly throws her leg up and steps over Jazz's arm sending her down to one knee. Oceanic breaks the TOS, jumps off Jazz's knee, leaps over and dropkicks Jazz in the back of the head. Both women stand back up. Oceanic sends a series of alternating Thai knees to Jazz's midsection causing her to lose some air. Oceanic leaps up and goes for a hurricanrana but Jazz catches her, then power bombs Oceanic right into the turnbuckles. Jazz follows up with a charging splash into the buckles. Oceanic slumps down to her knees. Jazz scoops her up and connects with a running powerslam. She goes for a pin. 1...... 2...... Kickout. Jazz scoops up Oceanic again but Oceanic slips out and lands behind her. Jazz turns around right as Oceanic rockets a jumping front kick right in her mouth. Jazz staggers backward and Oceanic sends her down with a flying head scissors. Oceanic pounces on Jazz and locks in a short arm scissors. Jazz struggles a bit but after a minute she works her way up to a standing base with Oceanic still locked in on her arm. Jazz suddenly falls backwards sending both women crashing and causing Oceanic to break the hold. Both women are winded but they manage to stand up. Jazz suddenly runs and connects with a thundering clothesline. She hooks the leg and goes for a pin. 1...... 2...... Oceanic kicks out again. Jazz stomps on Oceanic a a few times, trying to wear her down. Jazz picks up Oceanic again and locks in a bear hug lifting Oceanic off her feet. Oceanic is caught dead center of the ring and Jazz has the grip in tight. Oceanic wraps her legs around Jazz and tries to squeeze back. Oceanic then elbows Jazz in the head a few times but Jazz still has the hold in tight. Oceanic won't let up with the elbows and Jazz comes back with a head butt. Oceanic takes it but still continues elbowing Jazzes head and finally the hold is broken. Oceanic drops to her knees trying to get her wind back. Jazz tries to shake the cob webs out of her head. Jazz suddenly charges but Oceanic ducks the clothesline attempt, hits the ropes, then blasts Jazz in the chest with a jumping knee strike www.wrestlingencyclopedia.com/Moves2/BusaikuKneeKick.wmv Oceanic follows up with back suplex then leaps off the second rope with a Lionsault. She jumps up and double leg drops Jazz in the stomach. Oceanic backs off and waits for Jazz to stand up. Once Jazz is up Oceanic winds up the arm. She kicks Jazz in the face twice then comes down with an ax kick to the back of the head, keeping the arm wound up. Oceanic steps over causing Jazz to flip over and Oceanic locks in TAAS. Jazz tries to power out but Oceanic has leverage on her. Finally Jazz taps out and the bell rings. Rodney Mack gets into the ring and helps Jazz out. Oceanic leaves the ring and grabs her parka from the bell ringer's table and puts it on. She grabs a mic and gets back in the ring. Although she just wrestled a match and is wearing a parka she's still freezing. "First, I feel I owe you people an apology. When I said that I didn't want to come back to Alaska, it had nothing to do with the fans. You've all been great. It's just that it's too freaking cold here for this Hawaiian girl. My idea of winter is 75 degrees. So from the bottom of my heart, I apologize to all of you." Oceanic rubs her feet together trying to get some feeling back in her toes. "But I won't apologize to Mia. She thinks she's the number one contender just because she left for a few weeks and came back with a new revealing outfit. Oh boy! She wears fishnets now! Give her the belt! Ok, sarcasm off. If Mia thinks she deserves the title she needs to do one thing. Beat me. The problem is she can't. Mia, the Women's Division deserves a champion that will bring dignity and class to the title. Not another trussed up tart. The pretender's line is over there by the tub of cool whip. The ring is for the legit women athletes. Don't write checks your butt can't cash." Oceanic waves to the crowd and heads back to locker room searching for the nearest space heater.
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Limey
Unicron
It's been awhile.
Posts: 3,062
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Post by Limey on Nov 12, 2005 1:12:56 GMT -5
*The scene switches to an underground laboratory. Eerie music plays throughout. Soon enough, Dr. Delavier walks onto screen, clad in a black robe. He approaches a table, and observes the specimen being worked on. He then calls away the doctors with a hand gesture.*
Delavier: Monsiour Magneeficent?
Flex (For it is he): Ja, mein master?
Delavier: Riiiiiiiise.
*The tabls lifts upright, and it shows Flex Magnificent, wearing his regular wrestling attire, save for his burlap bag. He speaks solemnly as heavy, forced breathing (A la Darth Vader) is heard.*
Flex: Vere is mein face? Iz it steell unscathed? Iz it steel....Magneeeeeeficent?
Delavier: It seeems in his rage, Limee scarred it.
Flex: Limee? He couldn't have! I felt mein face to be perfect!! I FELT MEIN FACE TO BE MAGNEEEEEEFICENT!!!!
*Delavier simply stares back at Flex. Flex breaks free of the shackles on the table, and throws away some random assisstants. He throws his arms up to the skies.*
Flex: NEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIINNN!!!!!!!!!
*The scene changes to the EWT logo as industrial rock plays.*
Announcer: EWT!!! The true classic wrestling entertainment of today!!
*Cut back to the laboratory. Flex is handed a lightsaber. He switches it on, and observes it as it glows bright red.*
Flex: Zis you call a lightsaaaaber? Tell me zis: how am I supposed to become ze most magneeeeeeficent EWT champion viv zis tacky piece of mershandise?
Delavier: Je m'excuse, monsiour Magneeeficent. Would you like a gold-coloured lightzaber inztead?
Flex: (Pausing) Ja. Ja, I vould.
*The EWT logo flashes across the screen, and the ad is over.*
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