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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on Oct 26, 2005 20:21:19 GMT -5
*Sexy Guy hits as HBH, Gasoline, and Rosa make their way to the ring for the Heartbreak Hotel*
HBH: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Heartbreak Hotel!
*Pyro goes off*
HBH: All right, let's get down to business. There are a lot of matches taking place this Sunday at We Couldn't Be Arsed With a Name. The biggest match at the event, of course, will be me defending the tag team titles in a ladder match against the Ragnals. But that doesn't mean there aren't any other potentially good matches as well. And to prove that, let me introduce our guests for The Hotel, Raskall and Trunk!
*Raskall and Trunk come to the ring as the crowd cheers*
HBH: Now, Raskall, Trunk, lately you two have been involved in a heated feud with temporary boss Curly Long and his bodyguard Mr. Big. Is there anything you want to tell them now?
Raskall: Bret, ever since Trunk and I arrived here in EWT, that little pipsqueak and his big buffoon have done nothing but make life hell for us. And now, just because he thinks he's the "boss", he thinks he can have his way with us. Well guess what Curly? You've had your fun, now it's our turn. You have better hope you find Mr. Big before this Sunday, because at WCBAWAN, Trunk and myself are going to tear you apart from limb to limb, you VLB!
*Crowd chants "VLB! VLB!"*
HBH: So in other words, you're willing to commit violence against midgets?
Trunk: After everything he's done to us, he deserves it. Why, look at what the VLB had the Natural Disasters do to Kristina.
HBH: You heard the man, roll the tape!
*Footage is shown of Typhoon and Earthquake attacking Kristina, including Earthquake hitting his splash on her*
*Crowd boos*
Raskall: And Kristina is here. Kristina, come on out!
*Kristina walks very timidly out to the ring wearing a neck brace. Fans cheer*
Raskall: Curly, by having your henchmen do what they did, you've made us that much more determined to beat your ass this Sunday. And as for the Natural Disasters, we're gonna make you pay for what you did to Kristina!
*Crowd cheers, but they soon start booing as Earthquake and Typhoon run out to the ring. Raskall and Trunk immediately attack them. Kristina, HBH, Gasoline, and Rosa quickly head out of the ring. Raskall and Trunk continue to pummel the Natural Disasters. Eventually Raskall clotheslines Earthquake out of the ring. Trunk does the same to Typhoon. Raskall and Trunk pose in the ring with Kristina while the Natural Disasters head up the ramp*
*Fade to commercial*
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Post by Virus aka Captain No-Nuts on Oct 26, 2005 20:22:09 GMT -5
(After the commercial break, the band strikes up Lacuna Coil's "Heaven's a Lie" as Virus's entrance video, consisting of images of sick and dying people interspersed with some of his indie highlights, begins to play on the Toomitron.)
Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, weighing in at 350 pounds and making his debut in the EWT, VIRUS!
(Virus wastes no time coming down to the ring, as he climbs over the top rope and begins jumping around, obviously doing some last-minute psych-up for his in-ring EWT debut.)
(Heaven's a Lie dies down, to be replaced by Vampiro's theme.)
Announcer: And his opponent, from Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 240 pounds, VAMPIRO!
(Vampiro enters, just as he did in his WCW days. Virus offers a hand out to Vampiro for a prematch handshake. After a moment, Vampiro shakes the outstretched hand. The referee calls for the bell.)
DING!
Both men start by circling each other, measuring one another up. Vampiro makes the first move, dashing in for the grapple. Virus powers out, and then goes in for a grapple of his own, whipping Vampiro into the ropes and connecting with a clothesline. Virus then goes for the quick victory.
1!... Vampiro kicks out by getting a shoulder up. Both men return to their feet, and Virus goes for a huge right hand. Vampiro blocks and responds with a right of his own, right to Virus's gut. Virus doubles over to catch his breath as Vampiro bounces off the ropes and connects with a Flying Spinning Leg Lariat, and the pin.
1!... Virus recovers and gets to his feet first. Vampiro throws a right, and Virus blocks, responding with a punch of his own. A fist fight ensues, with each man going for a punch, getting blocked, and then blocking the other man's punch, until finally Virus connects with a right, and then a left, and then another right. The big man is starting to build up a head of steam now, and whips Vampiro into the ropes again. This time Virus hits Vampiro with a size 16W boot to the face, and Vampiro drops like a sack of potatoes.
Instead of going for the pin, however, Virus begins to (very slowly) climb the turnbuckle. Just as he makes it to the top rope, Vampiro begins to stir, and seeing that a 6'10", 350lb man is about to fly through the air and squash him, smartly runs into the ropes, making the debuting Virus lose his balance and fall onto the top turnbuckle, stunning him.
Vampiro is suddenly in control of the match, and he makes his way over to the fallen Virus, shaking the last remaining cobwebs from the boot out of his head. Vampiro gets in a few punches and forearms, and Virus puts up little resistance.
Then, unexpectedly, Vampiro puts his hand between Virus's legs, as if to prepare for the Nail in the Coffin. The crowd pops, as they're not sure Vampiro can even lift the 350 pound Virus. Vampiro's other hand goes around Virus's back, and the crowd begins to grow even louder. With one last look around the arena, Vampiro grabs the belt of Virus's pants and leans backwards, taking Virus with him. With a ring-shaking thud, Virus falls back-first onto the mat, and Vampiro has hit the Nail in the Coffin! The crowd pops again, because they know the end is near. Vampiro drags Virus away from the ropes slightly, and the effort required, coupled with the cobwebs still evident from the big boot, makes him stop to catch his breath a moment before he goes for the surefire victory.
1!...2!...3... NO! Virus somehow manages to get his shoulder up before the ref's hand hits the mat for the three. The crowd goes silent in shock. The band has to stop playing Vampiro's theme, as even they thought the match was over. Vampiro is shocked, and turns to the referee to complain about the count. As Vampiro yells at the referee, Virus slowly makes his way back to his feet, using the ropes for leverage, and sees an opening. He starts beckoning Vampiro to turn around.
And that Vampiro does not a second later, to be met with Virus's hand grasping his throat and lifting him up into the air. Vampiro struggles and kicks to get free, but Virus slams Vampiro down to the mat with authority. Virus falls as well, as apparently adrenaline was the only thing that allowed him to get up in the first place. With both men down, the referee begins his 10-count.
1..2..3..4..5...Virus begins to stir..6..Vampiro is also stirring..7..Virus is on one knee..8..Virus is up, and the 10 count ends.
Both men catch their breath, and the crowd is really into the match now, as Virus tries for a knee to Vampiro's stomach. Vampiro quickly moves out of the way though, and starts wailing into the bigger man with rights and lefts. Virus is backed up into the ropes, and Vampiro runs to the other side of the ring to get momentum for another Flying Spinning Leg Lariat. Virus recovers, looking furious, and begins to walk toward the rapidly advancing Vampiro.
Vampiro is in mid-air, but it's too late. Virus hits Vampiro in mid-air with a huge knife-edge chop, and Vampiro falls to the the ground. Virus picks Vampiro up by the hair, and then gets into a head-lock position, slinging Vampiro's right arm over his neck and picking him up into what looks like a stalling brainbuster.
Virus holds Vampiro in that position for a few seconds, letting the blood rush to Vampiro's head, before slamming him down to the mat in a sit-down powerbomb pin.
1!...2!...
3!
DINGDINGDING!
The crowd pops at the match they just witnessed, as Virus unentangles himself from Vampiro and gets up to have his hand raised.
Announcer: Here is your winner, by pinfall, VIRUS!!!
(Virus exits the ring, holding the back of his head as the band strikes up "Heaven's a Lie" again. Just as he starts heading up the ramp, Curly Long's face fills the Toomitron.)
Curly: Hold up a second there, Virus. Cut the music! (The band stops playing Heaven's a Lie.) I gotta admit, that was an impressive debut. But... (The crowd has begun to chant "VLB".) shut up, you uneducated losers! ... I've got something to tell you, and it involves your little *cough* feud with EN Bunk.
(Virus looks up to the Toomitron in sudden interest.)
Curly: Got your attention, did I? Well, anyway, I'm here to tell you that at "We Can't Be Arsed for a Name", it will be you, and EN Bunk, in a one on one match!
(Virus grimaces, still grasping the back of his head, as the Toomitron goes blank. The crowd pops slightly at the mention of the feuding newbies going at it at the next TPV. "Heaven's a Lie" starts playing again, and Virus makes his way backstage. Fade to commercial.)
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Post by Chrysta on Oct 26, 2005 20:38:52 GMT -5
*Chrysta and Ms. White are walking around backstage.*
White: Chrysta, are you sure you want to go through with this?
Chrysta: Ms. White, please. If I want to truly destroy the Ragnals, I MUST join forces with the Connection.
White: But you're going up against Holly Vaughn! She broke the leg of Joey Mercury, broke Chstity's finger, and, if I have to remind you, she TOOK OUT NOVA'S EYE!
Chysta: Must you remind me, Ms. White? Despite these motives, Holly Vaughn can NEVER be as cold...as the Ice Queen.
*Just then without warning, Chrysta is pummeled from behind by Shaniqua. She grabs Chrysta and tosses her into a wall, the slams her head into a table. After that Shaniqua slams Chrysta into the ground, leaving her a bloody mess.*
Shaniqua: That's for last time, b****!
*Shaniqua kicks Chrysta, and walks off. Ms. White runs over and checks on Chrysta, who appears unconcsious.*
White: Chrysta! Chrysta! Someone! Somebody! Get an ambulance!
*FADE OUT*
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Post by Chrysta on Oct 27, 2005 1:16:56 GMT -5
WARNING: VIEWER DISCRETION MAY BE ADVISED
*We come back from commercial break, and Shaniqua is in the ring. After a minute, Senzafine plays. It continues playing for two minutes, until it stops, and Shaniqua realizes she isn't coming out. She takes a microphone from Chimel.*
Shaniqua: Apparently, Chrysta is down and out for the night. So for the first time, I am THE only woman to truly take out the Ice Queen! And you all know I have a right to do what I did. After all, I was her first opponent. I was the one she took out! And what did I do after that?! NOTHING! So now I finally got my revenge on the little b*****! So Chimel...
*She shoves the mic into Chimel's hands*
Shaniqua: Announce me as the winner!
Chimel: Well, ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner-
*As Shaniqua appears to be celebrating, Senzafine plays again, and the lights dim. Out comes a bandaged Chrysta, with Ms. White following not far behind, urging Chrysta not to fight. Chrysta shrugs Ms. White off, and goes over to the announcer's table and grabs a mic.*
Chrysta: Miss Shaniqua...you think simply beating me up backstage will help you? You think I would feel too weak to even go on with a match?! Let me remind you of one obvious fact...I! HAVE! NO! EMOTION!
*Shaniqua stares at Chrysta in shock*
Chrysta: And if you thought our first meeting was an embarrasment to you, Shaniqua...you have another thought coming.*
*Mis White hits Shaniqua from behind with a steel chair. She slams it into her back several times, and then Chrysta rolls into the ring. The ref rings the bell, and the match officially starts. Chrysta grabs Shaniqua's arm, climbs to the top rope, and lands the Old School Rope Walk onto her shoulder. Staggering in pain, Chrysta goes behind Shaniqua, and puts her into the Frostbite. Shaniqua attempts to break free, but Chrysta puts her down on one knee. Finally, Shaniqua taps out, and Chrysta is declared the winner. Chrysta throws Shaniqua down and kicks at Shaniqua a few times. Chrysta yells to Ms. White to toss her the chair. She does so, and Chrysta places the chair on Shaniqua's knee. Chrysta climbs to the top rope, and lands a Falling Icicle on it, breaking Shaniqua's knee. Chrysta rolls out of the ring as EMTs head down to the ring, and check on Shaniqua. As Chrysta and Ms. White head to the top of the ramp, Shaniqua stops and looks down at the ring, holding her arms out in prayer ala the Connection. They head into the back, and the scene fades.*
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Oct 27, 2005 2:15:22 GMT -5
(Backstage Terri has a mic and is ready to interview UC, who is in his dressing room at the moment. That seems to be a theme lately.)
Terri: "Hi everyone. In a moment I'll be interviewing EWT superstar Ultimo Chocula. In less than a week he has a big match against bitter rival Joe Ragnal at We Couldn't Be Arsed For A Name. But first he has a match vs veteran luchadore Cyclope. Ultimo asked me to meet him here for a big surprise. Let's find out what it is. (Thinks a moment.) Although every time I've met him at his dressing room he's come out naked. Umm....Ultimo? You're not going to come out with your wiener flapping around again, are you?"
UC: (from behind the door.) "No, not this time! Too bad for you, eh?"
Terri: (rolls her eyes) "So what's your big surprise?"
UC: "Only this! (UC jumps out from behind the door wearing a dark green fat suit with a tail and it's covered in Vaseline. He's also wearing a very large, yet really bad paper mache' mask of an ugly face with the tongue hanging out over his head.) Ta da! Do you like my costume for Halloween week?"
Terri: "What the hell are you supposed to be?"
UC: "I'm Jabba The Hutt!"
(Terri just stares in disbelief at UC.)
UC: "You know. From Star Wars. It's a movie. It's all the rage with the kids nowadays."
Terri: "I know what Star Wars is. You're not seriously going to wrestle in that get up are you? (touches it) Gross! It's all slimy!"
UC: "Yeah, I had to coat this thing with Vaseline to get the proper effect. It took 27 jars! Luckily I found Billy's secret stockpile and voila!"
Terri: "It looks like it was made by pre schoolers."
UC: "Maybe it was! Did you ever think of that? Anyway, since it's Halloween and it's a time for fun with your friends, I got you a costume to go along with me. You can come out with me to my match and we can have some outer space, sci fi, trick or treatin' fun!"
Terri: "Yeah! That does sound fun What costume did you get for me? Princess Leia?"
UC: "Good guess! That is the costume I got for you. Here, it's in this bag."
(Terri gets excited and goes for the back. She begins to unzip it then suddenly stops and her mood changes.)
Terri: "Hold it. You didn't get THAT Princess Leia outfit, did you?"
UC: "Well, yeah. Otherwise it wouldn't really work now would it?"
Terri: "Oh lord...."
(Terri unzips the bag and reaches in. Sure enough she pulls out the gold bikini from Return Of The Jedi.)
Terri: "This. This is not good."
UC: "No, it's not that good. The costume guys didn't exactly get it 100% correct. That's why I went out and got the one accessory that makes the get up complete."
Terri: "Without even looking I know exactly what you're talking about. I feel like hitting you."
(UC reaches into a different bag and brings out the collar and leash. To put it lightly, Terri is not amused.)
Terri: "What did I ever do to you?"
UC: "Look, it's Halloween. This is the greatest holiday ever! It's a time for dressing up and having fun! Bumming for candy! Bobbing for apples! The ding dong dash! It's a wonderful time of year! This is the one holiday that I feel the closest to all those schmoes in the crowd. So all I'm asking is for you please help me spread the cheer. As a friend, please...............put on the damn leash."
Terri: (thinks it over for a minute then reluctantly agrees.) "You owe me big for this."
UC: "Whoo! All right! Let's hear it for guilt! Gimmee a G! G! Gimmee a U! U! Gimmee a..."
Terri: "Gimmee the damn costume, Jabba! I swear, I wonder why I hang out with you sometimes."
(Terri takes the bag and goes into the dressing room to change. UC is standing there in his crummy costume and Tyson Tomko walks by."
UC: "Terri! You missed it! I just saw a Rancor!"
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Post by DSR on Oct 27, 2005 2:17:48 GMT -5
*Commercial for EWT.com*
Head on over to EWT.com for all the latest news on your favorite superstars. Up now are DSR's comments on why he's leaving the EWT ring!
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Oct 27, 2005 6:52:14 GMT -5
RA: The following contest is scheduled for one fall.
*The orchestra playssome Japanese sounding music.*
RA: Introducing first. From Yamanishi, Japan, weighing in at 253 lbs he is a former IWGP & NWA World Heavyweight Champion The Great Muta!!
*Muta gets a nice pop as he makes his way to the ring spitting green mist into the air.*
*The orchestra starts playing Party Starter. The crowd pop as Spaz heads to the ring.*
RA: Making his way to the ring, from Sydney, Australia, weighing in at 216 lbs Spaz!!
*Spaz enters the ring salutes his fans & bows respectfully to Muta. The bell rings & the two lock up Muta overpowers Spaz & takes him down with a Russian Leg Sweep. Spaz is up quickly & Muta is kicking away at Spaz's legs. Spaz is doing his best to cover up & he starts to throw punches at Muta. He then sidesteps a kick & clotheslines Muta to the mat. Muta bounces up quickly & the two face off again & trade chops. Spaz grabs Muta & hits an Overhead Belly to Belly Suplex. Spaz tries a cover but only gets a 1 count. Both men are up Muta grabs Spaz & hits a Snap Suplex. He tries a cover but he only gets one. Spaz is a little slow to rise & when he does he tries to Irish whip Muta across the ring. Muta counters with an attempted Handspring Back Elbow but Spaz is aware & he drops & rolls Muta up on the rebound.*
1 2 NO!
*Spaz just couldn't quite hold on for the 3. Both men are up & the crowd applauds their efforts so far. Muta nods his approval to Spaz & they resume hostilities. Spaz ducks an attempted clothesline & grabs hold of Muta he hits a German Suplex followed buy a second & a third bridged into a pin.*
1 2 NO!
*Muta kicks out. Spaz gets up & grabs Muta's legs he locks on the Sydney Cloverleaf! Muta is right in the very centre of the ring & is in real trouble. Spaz is applying real pressure. But as Muta looks like he is about to tap Eddie Omega runs down the ramp! Spaz breaks the hold & forearms Eddie off the ring apron. Muta rolls Spaz up from behind.*
1 2 KICKOUT!
*Spaz fights out as security take a frustrated Eddie backstage. Both men are back up & looking to go on the offensive. Spaz whips Muta again & this time he is able to connect with the Elbow! He heads to the corner & climbs up he signals to the crowd he doesn't see Spaz getting up. He leaps off looking for a Moonsault but Spaz is aware & counters it into a Powerslam!*
1 2 ROPEBREAK!!
*Muta gets his foot on the bottom rope. Spaz is looking for the finish & he lifts Muta to his feet. But Muta counters with a Shining Wizard! Spaz is down & Muta goes for a cover.*
1 2 NO!!
*Spaz gets his foot on the ropes this time. Both men are slow to rise & the crowd are cheering in recognition. Muta runs at Spaz & on instinct Spaz hits a Down Under DDT! Spaz heads to the corner & climbs he salutes the crowd & leaps off he hits a big Shooting Star Press & hook the leg.*
1 2 3!
RA: Here is your winner. Spaz!!
*The crowd pop as the ref raises Spaz's hand. Muta gets up & the two shake hands. Both men head up the ramp with the orchestra playing Spaz's theme as we fade to commercial.*
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Oct 27, 2005 7:03:13 GMT -5
*As we come back from commercial Spaz is walking down a corridor. He comes around the bend & DSR is standing there.*
DSR: Nice match.
S: Thanks. I heard you are leaving after this PPV. That true?
DSR: Yeah I bet you are pleased.
S: Actually despit the face we haven't always seen eye to eye in the past. I think you are a true great of this company. I will be sorry to see you go.
DSR: Thanks. By the way good luck against Omega. You took me to the limit so he shouldn't give you any trouble. After that work on getting another EWT Title shot you definatley have what it takes to wear that belt I should know.
S: Thanks, good luck against D-Boy I hope you kick his ass.
DSR: I will sure as hell try!
*The two adversaries shake hands & go their seperate ways.*
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Post by DSR on Oct 27, 2005 13:23:47 GMT -5
*There's a red carpet and a table in the ring, with chairs on the 2 long sides. Finkel is there to announce the arrival of Curly Long. Curly receives a small pop.
Curly: Today, we've got ourselves a contract signing, for DSR's final match, at the upcoming PPV. DSR, could you please come out here?
*DSR's music hits, as he walks out in a hoodie and jeans. DSR calmly walks through the ropes and waves to his fans before taking a seat.
Curly: Now it's time to bring out your opponent, DSR.
DSR: If that worthless tard decided to even show up tonight.
*DSR's comment is quickly answered, as D-Boy comes out, staring daggers into DSR. Both men have looks of complete and utter contempt on their faces. D-Boy slides into the ring and gets right up in DSR's face.
D-Boy: Listen up, you little b****! You were NOTHIN' before you met me, and don't f***ing FORGET IT! You run your punkass mouth about me, well here I am...DO SOMETHIN'!
*DSR just stares at D-Boy for a minute. Finally, DSR takes a deep breath before speaking.
DSR: I'm not gonna f***in' touch you right now, D-Boy. I don't want you to have an excuse when I beat your ass at the PPV! So you're gonna draw your illiterate "x" on the g***amn contract, and I'm gonna sign my name, and you're gonna wait until WCBAWAN to prove to me that you can't do anything but BLEED.
*While DSR has turned down the challenge to fight right there, he certainly hasn't backed away from D-Boy. D-Boy just kinda shakes his head at DSR, as if in agreement on waiting until the PPV. D-Boy swipes the contract and signs his name. D-Boy then tosses the contract over to DSR.
D-Boy: Now sign you're f***in' career away, Prancing Stevie B****ards!
DSR: WCBAWAN may be my last match, D-Boy...but I'm gonna go out with a bang, a**hole!
*DSR signs the contract. Curly Long takes the contract from DSR.
Curly: It's official. These two men will face off at the PPV.
*DSR and D-Boy remain focused on each other. The crowd seems divided between the two superstars. Cut to commercial.
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Post by pta on Oct 27, 2005 13:46:34 GMT -5
Sum Guy is standing by with Chance... Confidence. Confidence isn't wearing a costume, but Sum Guy can be seen wearing a t-shirt saying " This is a costume ".
Sum Guy: I'm Sum Guy and all I have for halloween is this lousy t-shirt. I'm here with Chance... Confidence, the self-roclaimed best wrestler in the EWT. Of course I think that's....
Chance glares over at Sum and shakes his head slowly.
Sum: ... Uhhhh, absolutely true! I mean... there's never been a wrestler as great as Chance Confidence, no sir! So... greatest wrestler in the world, what do you think of your opponent this week?
Confidence: Hmmmm... well, to be totally honest, Ultimo Dragon shouldn't really be too much of a threat. I mean, the man tripped over his own feet at Wrestlemania! Why should I fear a clumsy idiot like that?
Sum: Ummmm... but other people say he's pretty good. You should try watching his Non-WWE Matches.
Confidence yawns a bit, covering his mouth.
Confidence: I'll consider it if I want to catch some sleep. Bad matches always bore me... luckily, I only watch MY own matches. So I'm guranteed to be impressed.
Sum Guy nods.
Sum: I wouldn't know. I've only been in one match... and I got squashed by the Canceler. But at least I was the last one eliminated! Take that Hoss Matthews! Micheal Cole! Ummmm... that chick interviewer...
Chance sighs and smacks Sum aside the head.
Chance: You twit... let's get back on the important subject... me.
Sum nods.
Sum: Oh sure. Why did you accept Dave's challenge?
Chance glares.
Confidence: That punk HUMILIATED me in front of a crowd. And he did with a BLOODY SNEAK ATTACK! Where's the honor in that? There is none. David... I'm going to tear you apart at WCBAFAM. You will be so broken... so devastated... so demolished, you won't be able to move for MONTHS!!! So I suggest you do all the moving you can before we meet in the ring. And if you think you stand a chance... You're JUST JEALOUS!!!
Confidence strides off to his lockeroom to get ready for his match.
Sum: Ummmm... I'm Sum Guy and my name backsward spells... Yug Mus!
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Oct 27, 2005 13:49:25 GMT -5
*The Ragnals are in their backstage locker room, Linda getting changed behind a curtain. Mike, Joe, and Tanya are seen in front of the curtain, sitting down and talking.
MIKE: Look, I'm just saying I don't see the point in us dressing up for this week's match card.
JOE: Bro, relax. It's not like we're dressing up like our opponents or anything.
LINDA: *from behind the curtain* He's right, Mike. At least you won't be dressing like Doom there.
MIKE: Alright, alright...so Linda has her costume, what have you got for ourselves?
JOE: Heh heh...you'll see...
TANYA: Guys, I'm serious! I don't know who my opponent is for the week!
JOE: Uh...
MIKE: Well, you see Tanya, um...we, uh...we don't know either.
TANYA: WHAT?! How am I supposed to know what she's-
MIKE: You'll think of something. C'mon, Joe, let's see what you have in mind.
*Mike and Joe walk off, leaving Tanya a worried mess. Linda walks out from behind the curtain, wearing a Sailor Moon outfit.
LINDA: How's it look?
*Tanya stares for a few seconds, and starts to laugh her head off.*
LINDA: Hey, it was all I could get, alright?!
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Limey
Unicron
It's been awhile.
Posts: 3,062
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Post by Limey on Oct 27, 2005 14:30:48 GMT -5
*The brass band play "Sexy Guy", and HBH, accompanied as always by Rosa and Gasoline, is out. He immediately signals to Gasoline, and Gas takes out the conductor with a Jacknife powerbomb, causing total silence. HBH then clicks his fingers, and "Sexy Guy" plays over the tannoy. He gets into the ring, and grabs the mic.
HBH: So, I hear the Ragnals think I'm not a credible champion. (The crowd boos him at this, but HBH keeps his cool) No, No. I understand. What they're saying is true, we HAVE only faced one true opponent. That greased-up, oiled-up, meathead Flex Magnificent. But you know something, Mike, Joe....Linda...I'm the innocent victim here! Whilst that punk-ass kid LIMEY was pissing and moaning about his girl's broken leg, or whining at me for not taking him seriously, or pulling ME into a match with a guy that only HE had issues with, *I* was out there carrying the matches, and defending this gold!! That's right. Everything I did was for the gold, and that little whiny b**** just got in my way! Well, at WCBAWAN, I'll show you...hell...I'll give you a little preview right damn now!!
*Gasoline gets out of the ring, and searches underneath it. He finds a ladder, and slides it into the ring. HBH grabs it, and sets it up. He climbs the ladder, and sits at the top.*
HBH: Me and Gas, we were conquering this type of match when you Ragnals were all nobodies here in EWT. Y'know, actually, that phrase is kinda redundant.
*The crowd gives HBH heat for this, which he shrugs off.*
HBH: Well, to tell you the truth, what HAVE you accomplished here in EWT, besides a GND belt that you were, by the way, GIVEN? Oh, right. One of you beat Limey in a match. Yippee-skippee. Linda, don't think just because you're the champ, you can hype up a match for the number one contendership, and then give it to the LOSER. And as for the others, "Master of Elemential Disaster", "Cloudbreaker"...what, do you kids think you're Planeteers or something? Does one of you have the power of Heart? But I digress. You want to blame someone for the loss of the tag championship's creditability, blame Limey. Blaming me may have been the biggest mistake of your lives. I promise you, at WCBAWAN, You will feel some SWEET CHIN MUZAK!!!
*The brass band plays "RIP", and Limey and Carla O Woe are out. Limey considers entering the ring, but decides against it, and he and Carla throw up the horns at ringside for a pop.
The brass band then plays "I've got it all", and DTCOAS come out to a Conway pop. Billy Gunn charges to the ring, only to be taken out with a spinebuster from Limey. Big Show makes it ringside, and he and Limey brawl. Eventually, HBH leaps off the ladder to the outside with a crossbody on both atheletes. Carla heckles HBH for this, and HBH responds by daring Carla to take it to his face. Carla backs down, and HBH flips her the bird before going to work on Show, stomping on him. Billy Gunn gets to his feet, and, seeing HBH bent down whilst stomping, goes for the Famouser. HBH nimbly dodges this, though, and hits a dropkick to Billy's face. HBH then picks up Billy, and rolls him into the ring as the bell sounds.
HBH climbs the apron, and pulls off a slingshot leg drop onto Billy befor going for a quick pin.
1, 2...
Billy kicks out. HBH sighs at this, and he brings Billy up. HBH hits a few chops to Billy to sounds of "OOOH!" from the crowd. Billy eventually counters with a rake to the eyes. HBH stumbles around, and as he faces Billy, Billy tries a dropkick. HBH slaps this away, prompting Billy to land on his knees. Billy gets to one knee, and HBH hits the SWEET CHIN...NO! Billy quickly slides out of the ring. Billy tauns HBH from the outside, and he is suddenly ambushed by Limey, who jumps from the guardrail onto Billy with a facecrusher! Limey climbs to the apron, and he sees that Show is rising. Limey considers his options before running along the apron, jumping off with a flying body block to Show. HBH then sees to a rising Billy with a hands-free plancha from the ring! HBH then picks up Billy, and throws him into the ring. Billy crawls to the still-standing ladder as HBH gets to the apron, and Billy grabs the ladder, bringing it down to try and hit HBH on the head with it! However, HBH dodges this, and he hits an elbow down on the ladder, which makes its opposite end fly up and catch Billy on the chin!!! HBH gets into the ring to see to Billy, clutching his jaw in shock and pain. HBH follows this up with a hard Irish whip to the turnbuckle which sends Billy stumbling out, his back having taken a licking. HBH leapfrogs over Billy, and bounces off the turnbuckle with a sunset flip to Billy!
1, 2...
Billy kicks out and pushes HBH away. HBH performs a backwards roll, getting to his feet. Billy pulls himself up and is suddenly hit with the SWEET CHIN MUZAK!!!! HBH goes for the cover!
1, 2, 3!!!
Winners: Limey and the Heartbreak Hitman, BRET MICHAELS!!!
*HBH celebrates, then observes Limey and Show battling on the outside. They laugh this off, and leave the ring, heading for the back. Show eventually gets the upper hand, and he hits a Gorilla Press Slam to Limey, throwing him into the ring. Show gets in, and approaches Limey. He calls for the chokeslam, and grabs Limey by the throat, but Limey reverses with an STO!!! He then motions to Carla, who climbs the nearest turnbuckle and leaps off with the EYE CANDY on Show!! Limey and Carla celebrate as the band plays "RIP". However, at this point HBH hits a SWEET CHIN MUZAK to the conductor, making the band nervously play "Sexy Guy" instead. Limey and HBH stare each other down as we fade to a commercial....
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Oct 28, 2005 0:37:29 GMT -5
(The big brass band begins to play "Poor And Weird" but an usher runs up to the conductor and hands him a note. The conductor reads it and waves his arms around. The band stops then starts up a different song. "The Imperial March". From out of the back comes Ultimo dressed in his lousy Jabba The Hutt costume and holding a leash. He stops at the top of the ramp and gives the leash a couple of tugs. Finally Terri dressed as Princess Leia as Jabba's prisoner comes out to a massive pop. She isn't exactly thrilled. Both head down to the ring and get inside, although UC has difficulty keeping his paper mache head on as he ducks under the ropes. UC snags the mic from Lillian and it's promo time.) UC: "Essoo noo wonky Chewbacca, b****!" Some fan boy in the crowd: "That's not how it goes, moron!" UC: "Well excuse me, poindexter! Some people haven't seen Jedi fifty seven times like you have! It's called sex! Try it sometime!" Everyone: "BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" UC: "Don't hate the playa, geeks! Now then! Welcome to the Halloween edition of EWT whatever show this is! What do you think of my costume? Pretty spiffy eh? It's appropriate too! Just like Jabba is the grand royal gangster pimp of outer space, I'm the big poobah lady killah king daddio of the squared circle! I'm also fat, slimy, gross......um...(trails off)...we both eat frogs.....and I'm a giant.....space........slug. Ok, so maybe I'm not all that much like Jabba. Sue me. Now, give it up for my favorite prisoner, Terri!" (Terri looks right at UC and flips him off with both hands. The image gets blurred for the kids at home.) UC: "Umm.....I don't think that's how you do the Vulcan sign. (back on track) So if I'm a space pimp and Terri's a princess babe, what would that make Little Joe Raggle? An Ewok? A small harmless teddy bear trying to pass himself off as a mighty wookiee? Nah. There are people out there who like Ewoks, for some reason? Or perhaps he's Jar Jar. An annoying moronic mutant rabbit/fish thing that won't go away or shut up. Again, no. Not annoying enough. If Joe Raggle is any Star Wars character, it's got to be Anakin Skywalker from Episode One. A whiny, bratty, waste of screen time with a face made for smacking! That's Joe all over! So, Ani! Get ready for WCBAFAN! Cuz once I get done slicing you up like a tuan tuan you're gonna wish you were back in Watto's junk yard selling crummy power converters to lost Jedis!" (The band plays a classical version of "La Bamba" and out comes Cyclope. Kayfabe off: Personally speaking, I think Cyclope has one of the coolest masks ever. Check that bad boy out! That's fresh. Kayfabe on: Cyclope comes down the isle and gets into the ring. He looks at UC and Terri but you really can't tell what he's thinking because, well, the mask and everything. UC helps Terri out of the ring and ties the end of the leash to the ring post, which pisses Terri off.) Terri: "Seriously. What the hell?" (The referee approaches UC and asks if he's really going to wrestle in that stupid get up. UC nods and the bell rings. Both men tie up and Cyclope goes for a knee to the stomach, but UC doesn't feel anything thanks to the padding. UC goes for a haymaker but Cyclope ducks and starts kicking UC from behind. UC takes about six straight kicks and heads over to the ropes. He regroups, adjusts his head piece and ties up with Cyclope again. Cyclope goes for a go behind waist lock but all the Vaseline causes him to slip off, falling face first to the mat. UC hits the ropes and comes off with a big splash but Cyclope rolls out of the way. UC crashes onto his stomach. He tries to get up but he can't, the padding is too think. Cyclope goes for a go behind chin lock but he keeps sliding off. Finally, the ref has had enough and sends Cyclope to the corner. He asks for the microphone.) Ref: "Look. I want to get this match over with! I'm going trick or treating with my kids later tonight and I'd like to get this thing going. Either you take off that stupid costume or I'm disqualifying you!" (The crowd cheers and UC does the heel tantrum bit. We go to a commercial.) Voice over: "Don't you hate late fees? Me too! (pause) That's it. I got nothin'." (We're back and UC has ditched the Jabba costume leaving him there standing in a pair of boxers and some sneakers. Terri is outside the ring with her face buried in her hand shaking her head. Cyclope appears to be laughing, or convulsing. That mask you know. The two lock up again and UC gets Cyclope in a side head lock. Cyclope pushes off and leap frogs UC. Cyclope goes for a spinning back kick but UC pushes it away and cracks Cyclope with a discus clothesline. UC stomps away at the downed Cyclope then cracks him in the head with the Gangrel-bow. UC gives Cyclope a brain buster and goes to the top rope. He jumps off with a knee-sault that connects. He goes for a pin but only gets two. UC picks up Cyclope and throws him over the top rope. Cyclope lands hard on the concrete right on his back. UC does some light sabre motions, complete with the noise, then runs and dives over the top rope with the Cannonball Run. Cyclope is paying big time and UC throws him back in the ring, follows him in, then places him in a front face lock, a pre curser to the Sugar Fix. UC is taunting the fans with Cyclope ripe for the kill when suddenly a voice is heard over the Toomi tron. It's Joe Ragnal! Holy crap!" Ragnal: "Hey Chocula! You've been doing a lot of trash talking lately! Who do you think you are?" (UC lets go of Cyclope and directs his full attention to the Toomitron.) Ragnal: "If memory serves correctly, it was me who beat you up in the Fun House match! It was me who made you look like an even bigger jerk than your really are in front of millions of fans! And it's me who's getting a title shot while you're stuck in the mid card! You're nothing Chocula! And I proved it!" (While this is going on the real Joe Ragnal is sneaking through the audience and he appears on the other side of the ring where UC can't see. He has something in his hand but we can't tell what it is yet. Terri sees Joe and tries to keep him from getting in the ring but her leash stops her and she can't get over to him. She tugs on her leash but she can't get it to budge. She's yelling for UC to turn around but he's still staring at the Toomi tron while Joe sneaks up behind him.....) Ragnal: "In a few short days I'm going to beat you all over again, Chocula! And you won't have anyone to blame but yourself! You're not a winner! Face facts. Come WCBAFAN, I will once again put you in your place! And that's the..........." Audience: ".....SHOCKING TRUTH!" Ragnal: "That's right. Oh, and by the way. Chocula, turn around." (UC turns around an Joe begins pelting him with eggs. Suddenly a fan with an Admiral Akbar mask on stands up.) Akbar Fan: "It's a trap!" (UC tries to defend himself from the omelet onslaught (thank you, thank you) as Joe gets in some quality shots then runs out of the ring. UC wipes the eggs off his face and is about to run after Joe but suddenly Cyclope rolls him up from behind. The ref counts...one....two.....THREE! The crowd goes berzerk!) Lillian: "Here is your winner.......Cyclope!" (Cyclope jumps up and celebrates then leaves the ring where he joins Joe on the ramp and they high five. UC is in the ring covered in egg and super pissed. Terri gets into the ring and tries to explain what happened. Joe is laughing his as off as the brass band plays the loser sound from "The Price Is Right".) (Happy Halloween!)
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Post by pta on Oct 28, 2005 4:04:06 GMT -5
The band starts playing heavily classical music, probably the only theme they are used to playing. As they do, Chance Confidence strides out to the ring, with his own Microphone, complete with his own initials on it. He wearing his fany royal blue robe as usual as he walks down to the ring.
Chance: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Currently approaching the ring, he weighs in at a total of 218 pounds, he is the EWT's greatest wrestler... and the man who will destroy Dave Davies, Chance... Confidence!!!
The crowd boos Chance heavily, obviously " glad " to see him. He slowly heads down to the ring and slides inside, smirking confidently as he awaits his opponent. Soon... Ultimo Dragon's theme starts up... and he walks out to the stage, in his cape and costume. The crowd gives him a massive pop. He immediately starts walking down to the ring, Chance yawning slightly.
Chance: And my opponent... weighing in at.. who cares, from... somewhere, Ultima Serpent.
The crowd boos as Ultimo glares at Confidence and immediately slides into the ring, not even removing his cape as he takes Confidence down with a vicious dropkick. Confidence goes down, but nips right back up. He glares at Ultimo, still in his robe and leaps up, countering with a vicious dropkick of his own, taking Ulitmo down. Ulitmo of course, doesn't rise as quickly, Confidence smirking and neatly folding his robe and handing it to the referee, who puts it outside. He walks over to Ultimo, as he rises back up, grabbing him for a snap suplex.
Ultimo hits the mat hard., but gets lifted again... this time in reverse and suplexed again, face first this time, Confidence immediately going for a quick cover. 1...2...
But then he decides to break up the pin. He leans down and pats Ultimo on the head, then walks over and hops onto the turnbuckle, crossing his arms and watching. The crowd boos at his cockiness, Confidence yawning and resting his elbow on the rope. Ulitmo eventually gets back up and looks at Confidence, who hops back down.
Ultimo quickly charges forward, but gets dropped face first into the turnbuckle with a drop toe hold. Ultimo's head bounces off the buckle pad and he holds it in pain. Chance walks over and sets Ultimo up in an Old School Tree of Woe. He then backs up and runs forward, nailing another flipping splash, to his chest. Ultimo groans a bit more, Confidence back on his feet as Ultimo slumps over and falls to the mat. Confidence grabs his arm and pulls him over to the center of the ring and sits down on his chest for another of his cocky covers. 1....2....
But Ultimo somehow gets the shoulder up. Confidence looks down angrily and lifts him back to his feet, only to get nailed with some shots to his chest. As Confidence backs up, he starts getting nailed with a series of knife edge chops. He grimaces and starts reeling back, backing up into the turnbuckle. Ultimo then backs up and runs forward and leaping at Confidence.
He manages to move out of the way, but Ultimo lands on the turnbuckle above them. But ebfore he can leap off, Confidence grabs his arm and gives him a stiff arm drag off of the turnbuckle. Ultimo groans and lays there motionless... as Chance nips up once again and dusts himself off a bit. He walks over and and gives Ultimo a few cocky kicks to his face. He goes for another cover. 1...2....
But again, he breaks up his own cover, shaking his head. He immediately hoists him up to his feet and prepares for a Confidence Breaker, but Ultimo somehow counters with a kick to the back of Confidence. He holds his abck in pain a bit and lets go, getting grabbed and taken down with an Ultimo DDT. He goes for a cover of his own, the crowd counting along. 1....2....
No! Confidence kicks out. Ultimo can't believe it. He rises back up and hops onto the nearby turnbuckle, leaping off for an Asai Moonsault attempt, but he crashes and burns, Chance rolling out of the way. He quickly rises to his feet, glaring angrily. He picks up Ultimo and whips him hard into the ropes, as he bounces back, he gets nailed by a standing Flipping Neckbreaker. The smarks in the crowd cheer as Confidence nips up once again and leaps up with a spinning splash to Ultimo's chest. He hooks the leg for a cover. 1...2...
But again, Confidence isn't done. He breaks up his own count and hoists Ultimo back up, then hits him with the Confidence Breaker. Ultimo goes down hard as Confidence gets up and sprints forward, hopping onto the enarby turnbuckle and flipping with with a Confidence Booster, nailing it perfectly. Confidence immediately makes another cover... this time with his Elbow. 1...2...3!
Confidence hops up as he's handed his own Personal Microphone.
Chance: And here is your winner... the still undefeated, with a record of 3-0... soon to be 4-0, the amazing, the spectacular, the... simply jawdropping Chance... Confidence.
The crowd boos heavily as Chance lifts up and tosses Ultimo out of the ring. He then turns around and shoves down the referee, using him as a seat.
Chance: Now then... listen up close Davies. You are not wrestling... a wrestler. You are wrestling... a Specimen of Pure Perfection. After WCBAFAN, you won't even be able to breath properly when I'm done with you. And THIS time... you won't be getting the drop on me. And if you think you're better than me... well, You're JUST JEALOUS!!!
Chance's classical theme starts up again as he flips over the ropes, the crowd booing him all the way as he walks up the ramp. Ultimo is laying there motionless as we fade to commercial.
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Post by craigkendo on Oct 28, 2005 6:43:14 GMT -5
*A barbershop quartet hit the ring, and one gets out a harmonica, playing a note.*
Quartet: #Bom-bom-bom, staaaaand back....there's a hurricane comin' through...
*Hurricane and Rosey hit the ring as the brass band plays Hurricane's music. They do the whole superhero posing thing, and then get into the ring. The barbershop stop singing, then take a quick break before one of them plays the harmonica note again.*
Quartet: #Ich Will....Ich Will...
*The brass band continues to play "Ich Will" as The Connection, Craig Kendo and Tony Chang (Accompanied by Holly Vaughn) make their way to the ring. They get into the ring, and hold their arms out in prayer as the quartet continue to sing "Ich Will" in Barbershop style.
Quartet: "...Ich versteh euch niiiiiicht...."
*Tony Chang snaps, and kicks the tenor in the gut, doubling him over. He then lifts his foot up, and brings it down for the VIPERBITE KICK!!!! The rest of the quartet leave the ring. The bell sounds, and the match is underway.
Hurricane runs at Chang for a flying lariat, which Chang catches, and counters with a Gunn Slinger. Chang applies an armlock, but Hurricane handsprings up, and trips Chang. Hurricane tries a quick splash, but Chang rolls out of the way, and hits Hurricane with a dropkick to the mid-section. Hurricane rolls to the ropes, and uses them to pull himself up. Chang charges at Hurricane, but Hurricane counters with a back body drop. Chang holds onto the ropes, and lands on the apron, catching Hurricane with a sleeper hold. Hurricane hits a few elbows, but Chang brings down Hurricane's beck to the ropes with a gullotine. Chang then taunts to a good amount of heat before leaping off with a plancha onto Hurricane. Chang then walks over to Hurricane, and mockingly kicks him in the gut. Chang then steps onto Hurricane's chest with both feet, taunting before leaping up with a somersault, landing onto Hurricane for the pin.
1, 2...
Rosey runs in to make the save. Chang doesn't take this well, and grabs Rosey by the throat. He trash-talks Rosey before giving him a headbutt. Rosey of course doesn't take this, and responds with a clothesline, sending Chang to the mat. Hurricane is now on his feet, and as Chang lifts himself to one knee, Hurricane lunges at him for the SHINING WI....NO!! Chang counters by throwing Hurricane off with a powerbomb! Hurricane tries to quickly rise, but he is hit with a SHINING WIZARD from Chang himself!!! Chang goes for the pin!
1, 2...
And Hurricane gets his foot on the ropes. Chang slaps the mat in frustration, and lifts up Hurricane by the head, slamming him down hard in a scoop slam. Chang then climbs the turnbuckle, and holds his arms out in prayer. Hurricane interrupts this by falling onto the top rope in desparation, sending Chang down to crotch the ropes. As Chang screams in pain, and falls to the mat, Hurricane rushes over to tag in Rosey. Rosey charges at Chang, and throws him off the turnbuckle in a body press. Chang gets to his feet, and rushes at Rosey, only to be hit with a Samoan drop. Rosey goes over to the turnbuckle, and lifts himself up to the second rope, jumping off onto Chang with a splash! However, Chang gets his knees up, stunning Rosey as he lands. Chang then quickly rolls to his corner to tag in Craig Kendo!!!
Kendo slowly gets into the ring, and hits a high knee to the recovering Rosey. He then grabs Rosey's head, and hits several headbutts. This causes Rosey to stumble around, before Craig Kendo lifts him up for a Gorilla Press!!! The crowd is shocked at this display as Kendo chucks Rosey to the outside!!! With Rosey lying there, Chang leaps off with an Asai moonsault onto Rosey, hitting him with some furious punches. Hurricane rushes in for the save, but Chang counters with a spinebuster to Hurricane, making him land right onto Rosey.Chang then kicks Hurricane off, and sees to Rosey, rolling him into the ring. Rosey tries to get to his feet, but Kendo is right behind him, patiently measuring him up. Rosey turns, and is kicked in the gut. Kendo then lifts up Rosey to his shoulders as Chang and Holly slide into the ring, holding their arms out in prayer in their respective positions. Kendo then leaps up, and finishes the ENLIGHTENMENT! Kendo then goes for the cover!!
1, 2, 3!!!
Winners: The Connection.
Post Match, Holly Vaughn approaches Rosey, and observes him. She then drags him to the ropes, and opens up the bottom and middle ropes. She then takes Rosey's head, and places it in between the ropes, still holding them apart. Rosey begs for Holly to not do anything rash, but Holly doesn't listen, snapping the ropes onto Rosey's neck, choking him!!! The Connection leave the ring, as the brass band play "Ich Will" in a slightly eerie fashion as trainers, EMTs and Hurricane try to free Rosey from the ropes as Rosey turns blue in the face.
*Fade to Commercial.*
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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on Oct 28, 2005 11:00:35 GMT -5
*As we come back from a commercial break, the brass band plays "High Voltage", and the crowd pops as they know the Ragnals are coming out. They eventually come out, but the crowd immediately starts booing. This is because these aren't the Ragnals. It's actually HBH dressed up as Mike, Gasoline dressed up as Joe, and Rosa dressed up as Linda Ragnal. Gasoline is carrying a cardboard cutout of Tanya Flaire. They enter the ring*
Gas: Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for The Disastrous Elemental Master, Mike Ragnal!
*Crowd boos very loudly*
HBH: Thank you for that warm reception. We're out here to address the EWT Tag Team Champions. Limey, Bret, we know you're back there, and we want you to know that we're not going to have it easy in our ladder match at WCBAWAN. You've taken on all comers in some truly amazing and brutal matches, yet you still came out on top. Joe and myself have never done anything like that. Hell, I couldn't even beat Carl Guerrero at Crap-a-mania, and Joe here just BARELY beat Chocula. What makes us think we stand a chance against you this Sunday? *hands mic to Gas*
Gas: You're absolutely right, Mike. All of us, especially me, have a lot on our plates. I mean, I have to face Chocula again, and to be honest, I don't think I can beat him again. What do you think, Tanya?
*Gasoline holds the mic to the cardboard cutout. The crowd is still booing*
Gas: What's that Tanya? *holds mic to the cutout again* Tanya says that she doesn't think I can beat Chocula either. *hands mic to Rosa*
Rosa: You think you have it tough? I have to defend this GND title against one of the toughest women on the roster, Carla. It's bad enough that this belt was given to me even though I didn't earn it, but to face Carla? It's going to be a long night for me. It would have been even longer had I chose Rosa as the #1 contender. After what she did to Carla, I knew I wouldn't have stood a snowball's chance in hell against her. *booing continues* Come this Sunday, us Ragnals are going to have the worst night of our careers. *hands mic back to HBH*
HBH: And THAT'S the Unshocking Truth!
*HBH, Gasoline, and Rosa raise their hands high as the crowd heckles them. They leave the ring and head to the back*
*Cut to next segment*
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Oct 28, 2005 11:44:02 GMT -5
*Mike and Joe Ragnal are backstage, watching the sketch.*
JOE: Look at that! Can you believe that these guys would-
MIKE:*Hands him a costume*Here, put this on.
JOE: *Looks at the costume* Wha-Hey, why this? Limey isn't involved in any-
MIKE: I know, I know, but c'mon, what can you do, right?
JOE: Eh, fine...
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,391
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Oct 28, 2005 12:44:58 GMT -5
(The Third State Warriors come out with a 6-year old kid dressed up like Curly Long. Crowd gives Huge pop.)
EN Bunk: Well, since it's halloween soon, I thought it would be nice if we took a kid and dressed him up like Mr. Long. Now, what's your name?
Kid: uhhhhhhhhhh......Scott.
Bunk: Scott, I gotta tell you something. Do you know who you're dressed as?
Scott: Uh.....The VLB!
Bunk: That's right, and...
Scott: Uh...what's a VLB?
Bunk: He's a VLB.
(picture of Curly Long shows up on the Toomitron.)
Bunk: Okay, now, we've got a match against the Road Warriors coming up, and Scott, I want you to stay here because if Long comes out, then you can beat his midget ass quick, right?
Scott: Yeah!
(OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAATTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! hits and the Road Warriors come out. Jessica gets Scott out of the ring and prepares for the match)
Announcer: Introducing, from Chicago, IL, the Road Wariors!
Bunk and Bacana hit running dives on Hawk & Animal, knocking them down. Bunk and Bacana start brawling with the Road Warriors, and eventually throw them in the ring. Bacana gets in to start the match and unleashes his assault on Animal.
Bacana (punching with every syllable): Why did you pick Heidenreich?
Bacana throws him to the ropes and is met with a clothesline from Animal. Animal goes on the offensive, hitting a powerslam and a backbreaker. Animal tags in Hawk and they hit a double suplex. Hawk gives Bacana an Irish Whip and hits a big boot. Bacana tries to hit a dropkick, but Hawk brushes him off and stomps on his back. Hawk then goes for a powerbomb, but Bacana reverses it intoa hurricanrana. Bacana gets to his feet and hits a Yakuza kick to Hawk, and tags Bunk in. Bunk starts attacking Hawk, with a tiger suplex and a running tackle. Bunkgoes for the lionsault, but Animal blocks it and hits a running powerslam. Bacana climbs the top rope and hits a plancha on Animal, knocking him out of the ring. Bunk gets up and signals for the Saint Massacre. Bunk climbs the ropes while Bacana holds Hawk in place. Bunk jumps off the ropes and hits a legdrop just as Bacana gives Hawk the Colt 45. Animal tries to get in but gets hit with the Bolt from the Blue as Bunk goes for the pin.
1! 2! 3!
Announcer: Here are you're winners,The Third State Warriors!
After the Match, Bunk and Bacana shake hands with the Warriors and leave the ring. Scott is still there, wondering what just happened.
Scott: Uh.....Hello? Is the match over or something? Cause I gotta wiz and I don't know where the bathroom is!?!
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Post by craigkendo on Oct 28, 2005 15:22:47 GMT -5
*The band once again plays "Ich Will", only instrumental, and without barbershop. Holly Vaughn, accompanied by Tony Chang, makes her way to the ring. She and Tony hold their arms out in prayer.
Lizzy Borden comes out to a little generic brass band piece. She nervously gets into the ring, not taking her eyes off Holly Vaughn. Tony Chang takes the mic.
Chang: Hey, heathen! Do you know who *THIS* is?
*Lizzy nervously nods her head. Holly stares nonchalantly at Lizzy as Chang chuckles demonically.*
Chang: Do you know that she can deal out exquisite pain to all of her opponents without blinking an eye? Do you know what she's done to each and every one of her opponents?? DO YOU??
*Chang shoves the microphone in Lizzy's face. She stutters, and Chang furiously persists.*
Chang: ANSWER, YOU LITTLE B****!!!!
Lizzy: YES!!! YES I KNOOOOW!!!!
*Chang continues to heckle her.*
Chang: Well then why the hell did you bother to come out here?? You KNOW you're going to get CRIPPLED, just like everyone else, and just like that "Ice Queen" at WCBAWAN!!! You are a fool!! DO YOU KNOW THAT?
Lizzy: (Shouting into the mic) I WANT TO WRESTLE!!!
Chang: (Holding back laughter) You want...you want to wrestle. How sweet. You have a dream. Well, so do we. Our dream is to BEAT those "happy-happy joy-joy" feelings out of you until you submit to the desires of The Connection. Open yourselves to our caress. And if you don't obey us? Well, you only have to talk to the EMTs. I expect they've got a little more "excitement" on their hands since we joined this cesspool of a wrestling promotion! Well, we're not going to kill you. But from your hospital bed, you can get a good view of Holly Vaughn, "Lady Spectacular", showing that Chrysta that we are NOT a simple clique. We are elite. And to be the best, she has to face the Ultimate Challenge. And Miss Vaughn will see that the challenge is never completed by that wannabe. What do you think of that?
*Lizzy takes some time to think, then charges at Tony Chang for a crossbody, leveling him. Holly, though, saw this coming, and dodges the attack. As Lizzy gets up, Holly hits a dropkick to Lizzy, and then hits a somersault leg drop. She grabs Lizzy's arm and brings it around her neck for a chokehold. Lizzy hits a few elbows to Holly's face, so Holly loosens her grip. Lizzy gets to her feet, and tries a stunner, but this is countered by Holly, who grabs Lizzy, and plants her with a reverse DDT. She then climbs the top rope and holds her hands out in prayer before leaping off to the rising Lizzy with the DEADLY DDT before going for the pin.
1, 2, 3!!!
Winner: "Lady Spectacular", Holly Vaughn.
*Post match, Tony Chang gets into the ring, and raises Holly's arm in victory. Holly observes Lizzy, who backs away, crawling from the ground, pleading Holly not to do anything. Holly ignores the comments, and goes slowly over to Lizzy. She then stomps on her stomach, and kicks her over so her front is on the mat. Holly, whilst keeping her foot squarely on Lizzy's back, grabs the hair of Lizzy, and holds tight, pulling the neck back by the hair. Holly then pulls hard as Lizzy screams in pain. Eventually, the hair at the top of Lizzy's head seems to rip off, and soon, most of her hair rips off her head, effectively scalping Lizzy. She clutches her head in agonising pain as Holly observes the hair, specifically the roots, before bundling it up and throwing it casually to the audience. EMTs rush down to see to Lizzy, who appears to be in shock, as Holly and Chang walk to the back.
*Fade to Commercial.*
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Post by scbg on Oct 28, 2005 15:39:24 GMT -5
Rod Fisham is standing backstage with Raskall and Trunk.
Fisham: I'm here with Raskall and Trunk, who are about to face the Natural Disasters in a "Loser Leaves EWT" First Blood match. Guys, what are your thoughts going into this match?
Raskall: Hmm. What do I plan to do to the Natural Disasters? Let's see...oh yes. I plan to knock the living piss outta them for what they did to my fair lady, THAT'S what I plan to do to them! Kristina's back at home, resting after what happened last week. Do you know what that does to a guy's sex life? I haven't had it for days, man! DAYS!! But I bet you know what that's like, Rod. You come home, you've had a hard day at work, holding that microphone all day or whatever you do, and you just want a bit of nookie. And you come in that door, and you yell, "Honey, I'm home! How's about a little romance?" And your lover says (in a deep voice) "Not now, honey, I have a headache!" And you have to pull out your stash of Muscle and Fitness magazines to get you through the night. Your home life must be so hard.
Fisham: Well, the Natural Disasters have said that they don't regret what they did to Kristina last week.
Raskall: That's great, Rod. Because I don't plan to regret what I'm about to do to them.
Raskall and Trunk start to leave.
Fisham: Just one more thing, guys!
They hold up.
Fisham: It's a very special week here in the EWT. Curly Long has declared a Halloween Theme week. What costumes do you plan to wear?
Raskall: Costumes? We ain't wearing no costumes, bro! That's kid stuff! Curly's gotta realize that this is the EWT! Not Romper Room!
Trunk: And when we see him at WCBAWAN, the only thing he'll be wearing is a crimson mask!
Raskall and Trunk exit. Rod Fisham tries to convey emotion.
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