jzbadblood
Unicron
Christ, man. Can't you see what's happening? Can't you read between the lines?
Posts: 3,052
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Post by jzbadblood on Apr 18, 2005 11:47:07 GMT -5
Jz is walking backstage with both of the Tag Team titles.
Michael Coleslaw: So, where is Ape?
Jzbadblood: I truthfully don't know. After the flaming chariots match Ape woulden't talk to me or let me near him.
Michael Coleslaw: So what are you going to do about the tag belts?
Jzbadblood: If Ape doesn't want to be my partner I'll defend them myself...I'm sure we'll hear from him soon enough.
Jz walks away, Coleslaw shrugs his shoulders.
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Post by Moxie loves Natalie on Apr 18, 2005 13:17:45 GMT -5
Moxie storms into Toomi Bischoff's Office, his eyes red from mace, and walks right up to Toom's Plant.
Moxie <to toomi's plant>: Toomi Bischoff! I'm sick to death of that impure self-indulging miscreant Ubermark! He cost me my belt, and I want revenge!
Janitor: umm, sir. Toomi Bischoff is in a meeting with the board of directors.
<Moxie gets even more angry, and kicks the air and tries to give the plant a DDT, only to land on his blind bum.>
Moxie: FINE!
<Moxie storms off, as EMTs rush in, put the plant on a stretcher and run off>
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Post by Moxie loves Natalie on Apr 18, 2005 13:23:21 GMT -5
EWT Title: Addy Bomb EWT Tri-State Title: Dave Davies EWT OX Title: Spaz EWT Tag Titles: JZ and PsychoApeGuy EWT Girl Next Door: = wrestlecrap Stable Championships: MTWTHFSS
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Post by Joel, Mike, Currently...? on Apr 18, 2005 13:48:02 GMT -5
Joel and Mike are with Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday...
Mike: Oh, man, that's awesome, you guys are the Stable champs!
Joel: In a match that totally rocked my skull!
El Unorigino: Tenemos sí, los amigos de Nerd. Venido. Juguemos un juego celebratory de Splatterhouse. En Turbografx por supuesto.
Sexy Translator: El Unorigino said that you're right, and invites you to a celebratory game of Splatterhouse on his Turbografx.
Joel: Are you playing?
ST: He just invited you...
Joel: I was talking to you.
ST: Oh. This is so sudden...and unwanted.
Obi: Nerd. Quit creeping out Unorigino's Translator.
Joel: *sigh* Okay.
Destoyer: Dude, we beat those communists to the ground! Or those nBo members. I can't remember which one. We beat em' though.
Dean Dicksky: It was my fault! *** Bk: What was that all about? Well, it's just to make sure you knew that the Nyrds were alive n' well.
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Post by obi on Apr 18, 2005 13:55:43 GMT -5
BK: thank god i love the nyrds!
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Post by Bobafett on Apr 18, 2005 14:43:00 GMT -5
(Fett is in his room with his wives)
Daffney: Fett honey, please don't attack toomi gain..he does pay youre wages..
Fett: Yeah..but whats the point of getting a wage when you don;t do anything..and I aint gonna become EWTs version of Val Venis..
Steph: well..youre (censored) is bigger than his anyway
(everyone looks at steph)
Steph: what???
Molly: nevermind all that..all 4 of us girls are going to Toomis office to talk about getting you regular matches..if tyou go.you'll only end up beating him up
Fett: if you insist ladies..good luck
(fade to black)
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ape
Unicron
Aunt Blabby Tells All.
bea wants all you sweathogs to take a look at what a REAL man is supposed to look like
Posts: 3,223
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Post by ape on Apr 18, 2005 14:47:23 GMT -5
*psychoapeguy is sitting in his padded room. he is holding what appears to be a paper plate colored with yellow crayon with pieces of construction paper tied to both sides of the plate. after a moment of petting the plate, he looks up at the camera.*
....i'm.....i'm a champion again.....but i'm not happy....people like champions....but people still don't like me.....they don't like me because i'm teamed with jz....that's why....it's gotta be why....
*the ape picks up the plate.*
...that's why i'll never wear the tag belt that he has waiting for me.....i don't want any part of that filth....besides....i've noticed that the popular wrestlers have their own title belts created when they become champion....so i made my own....
*the ape turns the plate to face the camera, the words "ewt tag team champion: psychoapeguy" are written onto the belt. after a moment, the ape lowers his title belt.*
....i want to prove to uncle toomi that i'm still his favorite wrestler.....and if i have to team with jz....so be it....but i swear....if jz so much as looks at me funny....hehe....i'll jam my fingers in his eye socket.....and make his eye.....look just like mine.....
*the ape stands up and looks down at his title belt.*
....besides....teaming with jz of not.....the fans will see my custom belt....and they'll like me again.....they have to...if they don't.....i....i'll just die....
*the ape sits back down again and looks up at the camera with an evil look on his face.*
....hehe.....or somebody else will......
*the ape begins to laugh quietly to himself...but he has a look of frusteration on his face. as he laughs, tears roll down his face, and his laughs transform into sobs...then back into laughter. this continues on until the camera fades to black.*
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Post by garyhartsgoatee on Apr 18, 2005 14:58:25 GMT -5
*destroyer is seen backstage naked with a lampshade on his head, obviously drunk out of his skull*
D: we got titles, we got titles, we got titles, hay hay hay hay.
obi: destroyer... you okay?
D: ive never been better... hell that bottle of jack daniels is starting to kick in!
obi: well, just be careful, dont hurt yourself or anyone else... maybe you should settle down...
D: you know what... your right obi...oooobi...oooooh beeeeeeeee... hahahaha you got a funny sounding name... hahahaha... *laughter stops and destroyer looks serious* but seriously obi *chuckles* i love you... you are the coolest guy here... because you... are the ... guy..... yeah, you are the guy! *whispers* and i think i can trust you with this... dont tell anyone, but i was born with 4 testicles...
*destroyer then passes out in a lump on the floor*
obi: someone roll him onto his stomache... thats how Hendrix died.
Dean: IT WASNT MY FAULT!!
Unorigino: OLE! *camera fades to black as the nerds do whatever it is they do best...*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Apr 18, 2005 19:24:31 GMT -5
*Toomi Bischoff leaves the Board of Director's office. They're none to happy because of all the gimmic matches costing all that money for an entire card. Due to this, Toomi has to do this week's match board without any gimmics.* EWT Championship Addy Bomb versus Butch Reed
EWT OX Division Championship Spaz versus Amazing Red
EWT Tri-State Championship Dave Davies versus Goldust
EWT Tag Team Championship jzbadblood & psychoapeguy versus Rock 'n' Sock Connection
The Communists versus the 4 Horsemen
Moxie versus Doink the Clown
Ultimo Chocula versus Booker T
fettster versus Ravishing Rick Rude
Billy Ubermark versus Paul Orndorff
El Origino versus La Parka
obi versus Psychosis
Destroyer versus Terrific Terry Taylor
The Nyrds versus The Quebecers
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Post by invaderdave on Apr 18, 2005 19:53:12 GMT -5
Dave stands backstage, clutching the belt to his chest. Miserlou can be heard playing.
Dave: No one believed it could be done. Not a single one of you believed I could beat a technical master. Not a single man in the back believed I could do it, and even my most ardent fans didn't believe in me either. "No," they'd all say. "He's too good of a technical wrestler," they'd all say. "He'll break you in two!" Well, I proved everyone wrong. I proved the world wrong. I may not have destroyed Moxie like a promised, but I did take from him what he holds most dear. I proved that my style is better, and that I'm the better man. Your technical skill was fantastic, Moxie. I've never seen someone work quite like you. But no matter how tightly you put me in your holds, no matter how much they hurt, no matter how loud I screamed in pain...I never backed down, and I never will. Remember, I am a fighting champion, and if you, or anyone else, want my belt, the only way you can get it off me is if you pry it from my cold dead hands. DO YOU HEAR ME! YOU HAVE TO KILL ME! YOU WANT THIS BELT YOU HAVE TO KILL ME! Come and try me. Come and try to take it away from me. I dare you...killer.
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Post by THE Dinobot on Apr 18, 2005 21:01:24 GMT -5
BK: Great show Toomi. Gimmick matches are fun...just like a toothache. Anyone want to be on The Legend's Corner?
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ape
Unicron
Aunt Blabby Tells All.
bea wants all you sweathogs to take a look at what a REAL man is supposed to look like
Posts: 3,223
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Post by ape on Apr 18, 2005 21:25:36 GMT -5
BK: Great show Toomi. Gimmick matches are fun...just like a toothache. Anyone want to be on The Legend's Corner? bk: i'll be on if you'll have me, mr. dinobot, sir
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Apr 19, 2005 0:05:21 GMT -5
(commercial for Yappy's dog treats ends...)
Michael Cole: "Welcome back folks! Michael Cole here with an interview with newcomer Ultimo Chocula! Ultimo, you're on quite the winning streak. How does that feel?
(Ultimo isn't paying attention as he is staring at Jasmine St. Claire peeling a banana.)
Cole: "Uhh...Ultimo. I asked you a question."
UC: "Yeah....Could you come back in ten minutes or so? I really want to see this."
Cole: "Well. I guess. But I just wanted your opinion on some of the rumors about you that are going around."
UC: "Sure. Fine. Later. Now go away."
Cole: "But Ultimo. There's been a lot of talk backstage about your Gene Rayburn Memorial Championship belt. A lot of the wrestlers feel that, quite frankly, you made the whole thing up!"
(Ultimo suddenly gets very serious and turns to Cole.)
UC: "Look here, squirt. The reason those pears talk that garbage is because they're all jealous. They could never compete in the...uh...B.F.W.W.O.....uh...da da da da da. Guys like that don't have what it takes to hold this belt."
(Ultimo takes off his belt as the sound of velcro echoes through the hall. He holds it up to Cole's face. One of the Christmas lightbulbs is sticking Cole in the eye.)
UC: "You see this belt? This is highest honor anyone in our profession can recieve. Do you really think any of those jaggoffs have the guts to take this away from me? Survey says! (makes a buzzer sound) NO! Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to get back to...."
(Ultimo turns to see Jasmine throwing away an empty banana peel.)
UC: "Wait. You're done allready?"
JSC: "Yeah. Why?"
(Ultimo turns back to Cole)
UC: "See what you made me miss! Thanks a lot, numb nuts!"
(Ultimo smacks Cole in the back of the head and storms off.)
BK: If this is inappropriate, please let me know and I'll make the edits.
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TuneinTokyo
Hank Scorpio
The Mountain from Stone Mountain
Posts: 6,431
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Post by TuneinTokyo on Apr 19, 2005 0:19:25 GMT -5
<Out of nowhere T.I.TRocks runs in and says>............LET ME TELL SOMETHIN'.....MY WIFE'S BLANK IS SO BIG THAT EVERY TIME SHE SITS DOWN SHE BLANKS..........OI!
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Apr 19, 2005 1:25:04 GMT -5
Announcer: The following contest is for the EWT OX Division Championship.
*Some music hits & Amazing Red makes his way to the ring.*
A: Introducing the challenger. From Brooklyn, NY, Weighing in at 147 lbs, Amazing Red.
*Crowd pops massive.*
*SHOCKWAVE Spaz’s music hits & he heads to the ring. He gets his usual reception*
A: From Sydney, Australia, Weighing it at 202 lbs he is the OX Division Champion Spaz.
*The bell rings & the two lock up Spaz gets the upper hand & nails Red with a Down Under DDT. Red is on the mat & Spaz heads to the TB & nails a big SSP on Red. 1-2-NO Red kicks out aggressively & Spaz’s Elbow catches the ref in the head & he is down. Red is up & he climbs the TB & hits the Red Star Press. He hooks the leg for at least a 5 count but the ref is down. Red gets up & goes to check on the ref but he isn’t moving. Red spins around & gets nailed in the head with the OX Title by Spaz. The crowd boos loudly as Spaz drops the title on the mat & then nails Red with The Shockwave onto the belt. Spaz then slides the belt out of the ring wakes up the ref & gets the pinfall.*
A: Here is your winner & still the OX Division Champion, Spaz!!
*Spaz rolls out of the ring & heads up the ramp as EMT’s come down to check on Red.*
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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on Apr 19, 2005 11:20:46 GMT -5
*At the hospital, HBH and Gasoline are being tended to. Rosa is there as well*
HBH: What the hell is taking these f***ing doctors so long? I'm hurting here!
Rosa: Bret, please calm down. The doctors will be here any minute.
HBH: Well they better, 'cause I'm about to tear this mutha down!
*A doctor arrives*
Gas: About damn time!
Doctor: All right, what seems to be the problem?
HBH: What's the problem? We were in a very dangerous match this past Sunday and we're hurting, that's what!
Doctor: Names?
Rosa: Don't you know who these two are? They are the Heartbreak Hitman Bret Michaels and Gasoline, the greatest and most dominant tag team in EWT history. Keep up, doc.
Doctor: Where are you guys hurting?
Gas: All over. We were in a match that involved fire.
Doctor: FIRE?! Don't you know that fire's dangerous?!
HBH: No sh**, doc. Now will you just tell us what we need to do?
*Doctor gets some potion, then lays it on the table*
Doctor: I'll be right back. I just have to get another potion.
*Doctor leaves*
Gas: This bites. I want to get out of this hellhole.
Rosa: Don't you worry. I've got an idea. *picks up potion*
*Doctor returns and notices that the potion he laid on the table is missing*
Doctor: Hey, where's that potion?
*From behind, Rosa injects the potion into the doctor. He falls to the floor, unconscious*
HBH: Serves that quack right. Let's get outta here.
*The three exit*
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Post by Bobafett on Apr 19, 2005 15:48:54 GMT -5
(Fett goes to the ring with his wives)
Fett: A-bomb..it has occured to me that you interfered in buisness that is not youres..what happens between Toomi and i was our buisnessif you have a problem..fine..tell me..but if you punk me out without any warning..thats a different matter, you see.. I decided you should be punished..I'm gonna take that lil gold belt you have..thats after i destroy you infront of all these people..and Toomi..don't worry if its a good match.if the fans get theyre value..everyone get theyre moneys worth when I win
(fade to black)
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Apr 19, 2005 22:16:48 GMT -5
("Poor And Weird" comes over the PA as the audience groans in unison.)
Lilian Garcia: "Introducing first, from liberal as all hell Portand Oregon, he is the Gene Rayburn Memorial champion, Ultimo Chocula!"
(UC enters the ring and grabs the mic.)
UC: "If you got your cameras, start snappin'!"
(silence.......you can hear people blink..)
UC: "The word around the EWT lately is that those coffin stuffers in the back don't like that I was able to retain my title from the BFWWOTPNWAT! They say it's not for real. I say, THAT'S TOUGH! Is it my fault these jokers never heard of it? Read a paper! Now my opponent tonight, Pipe Cleaner Head, is a champion several times over. Impressive, yes. But my question is can he bring the heat? Not tonight! Cuz, Booger T, I am one big bucket of ice water!"
Audience member: "Shut up!"
UC: "Blow it out your ear!"
(Garcia grabs the mic back. "Green Onions" plays over the PA and people start cheering.)
Garcia: "And his opponent, from Houston Texas, weighing in at 250lbs, Booker T!"
(Booker makes his way down the ramp and into the ring as the crowd cheers for him. The bell rings and the two get in a collar and elbow tie up. Booker gets the advantage and puts UC in an armbar. Booker throws some chops at UC and bodyslams him. He then hits the ropes and nails UC with a stiff elbow. UC staggers up using the ropes for help when Booker goes for the Harlem Sidekick but UC ducks it causing Booker to rack himself on the top rope. UC nails a springboard dropkick causing Booker to fall to the concrete. UC does a half assed Spinaroonie, gets some momentum, and blasts Booker with the Cannonball Run plancha to the outside. Then just to be mean, he suplexes Booker on the entry ramp.)
(After ramming Booker's head in the apron a couple times, UC throws him back in the ring. As Booker gets up he gets met with a springboard spinning heel kick. UC goes for a pin but only gets two. UC puts Booker in the surfboard trying to wear him down, but after a few minutes Booker powers out of it and lands a couple elbows to the gut. UC tries a clothesline but Booker ducks and retaliates with the 110th Street Slam but only gets a two count. Booker then throws UC in the ropes and hits a spinebuster. Two count again. Booker signals for the Scissor Kick and kicks UC in the gut. He bounces off the ropes but as he comes down UC dodges causing Booker to hit the canvas. Booker tries to get up but he's greeted with a dragon buster. Both men are groggy but UC gets up first and climbs the turnbuckles but Booker sees this and climbs up with him. Both men are wailing on each other but Booker gets the advantage and tries to hook in a superplex. Right as he's about to execute, UC elbows Booker in the throat causing him to fall, twist in mid air and land on his stomach. UC jumps off the top rope and lands an Earthquake style splash right on the small of Booker's back and immediatly locks in a camel clutch right after impact. Booker tries to fight it off but after UC starts cranking back even harder Booker is forced to tap out.)
Garcia: "Here is your winner...Ultimo Chocula!"
(UC grabs his title belt and the mic.)
UC: "You see that? You guys get an eyeful of what I just did? I beat Booker T with a move I just now made up on the spot! A top rope camel clutch! How many guys back there have the brains to do that? None! That's why I'm the Gene Rayburn champion and everybody else is crying in their soup! Hell, I'm feeling so good, I'm going to treat myself to a DQ Blizzard!"
(UC makes his way back up the ramp to a chorus of boos! He holds up his crummy belt to the crowd before disappearing backstage.)
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Apr 19, 2005 23:20:33 GMT -5
*Spaz & Hoss Mathews are standing backstage in fornt of the EWT logo. Spaz has the OX Title over his shoulder.*
Hoss: Spaz two title defenses in such a short period of time, how did you overcome these talented men?
S: Talented? You call that talent? I am the most talented Superstar to ever compete in the EWT. This title proves it. I won this title in my first 1 on 1 title match. Who else can say that? Put any EWT superstar in that ring with me & I will beat them I will put them in the Sydney Cloveleaf & make them tap or I will hit them With The Shockwave & pin them 1-2-3. It's that simple. Davies was no match, Myles was a pushover & Red was a walk in the park. Toomi better find someone better for my next defense or it will be a total sqaush.
*Spaz then holds the OX Title up to the camera & walks off.*
Hoss: Storng words from the OX Division Champion. EWT will be back after these messages.
*Cut to commercial.*
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Post by Bobafett on Apr 20, 2005 14:34:56 GMT -5
(Fett is in his dressing room)
Fett: Rick Rude?..oh well..(turns to the camera) yopu better watch my match A-Bomb..caiuse what i'm gonna o to Rude ..i'm gonna do to you...the forecast for today..is PAIN..
(fade to black)
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