Fiddleford H. McGucket
El Dandy
My Mind's been gone for 30-odd years! Can't Break what's already broken!
Posts: 8,748
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Post by Fiddleford H. McGucket on Sept 21, 2010 12:17:15 GMT -5
You know what'll be a larf? If'n I take that there belt....and Re-Christen it the "Pirate Championship" and only Real True-Blooded Pirates can challange fer it......Yar har har har.
But I'm just yankin' yer anchor Evil M. Yer goin' madder'n I was back in the day.....must be Gold Fever, best cure is to relieve yerself of any excessive auric artifacts. Just call your friendly neighborhood Nautical Acquisition and Redistrobution Specialist (i.e Pirate) and they'll safely pick up your gold and.....well....it gets a bit murky there, We mostly just...erm.....keep it. It ain't a perfect system, but the pirates don't complain.
"Now Mulligan" you inquire, "Don't the pirates fear this 'Gold Fever' ?"
Yarr.....well now me hearties.....Pirates do fear Gold Fever, but we put aside this fear and bravely push forward to provide this valuable public service for the good of all mankind........
but especially the Pirates
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Post by Topher is Human on Sept 21, 2010 17:44:59 GMT -5
In just over 12 hours... THE WHITEST KNIGHT
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Post by "Handsome" Whitey Fats on Sept 21, 2010 19:04:22 GMT -5
How would you like a place in my completly legal operation, Colt?
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2010 19:12:01 GMT -5
How would you like a place in my completly legal operation, Colt? You don't want him in your group, pal. Colt's an egomaniac. It always has to be about him. Why do you think every member of the Story abandoned him, one by one?
Not to mention that his current partner was the one who challenged him to a match at GookerMania.
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Jazzman
King Koopa
Trombone Shorty > Your Favorite Musician
Posts: 11,231
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Post by Jazzman on Sept 21, 2010 19:42:50 GMT -5
How would you like a place in my completly legal operation, Colt? You don't want him in your group, pal. Colt's an egomaniac. It always has to be about him. Why do you think every member of the Story abandoned him, one by one?
Not to mention that his current partner was the one who challenged him to a match at GookerMania. You See Evil, that's where you are wrong. Colt and I own it to these fans and to ourselves to have this match.
It's funny isn't it? You have no escape from your predicament and you lash out at those who are above you trying to get our attention. Enjoy holding that belt for a short time longer my friend.
Now if you excuse me, I have a performance to prepare for
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Post by Topher is Human on Sept 22, 2010 17:48:06 GMT -5
THE WHITEST KNIGHT by Colt
It's been a while since I've had my last editorial, and what, better time than this. Just around the corner of GookerMania III, the biggest show of them all. Where the hottest time in the WWCF, Pride and Story... collide!
You heard right my friends, Jazzman and Colt going one on one... The Pride vs The Story... The White Knight vs... The White Knight. A match that's surely going to make page one.
You're probably all thinking "why?", "why would they fight eachother instead of furthering their careers?"... Simple, this is the biggest way too further our careers. Between me and Jazzman, we've done it all here. Ultimately we were two of the most rememberable WWCF Champions... We were the guys that lead our own Era, people would call Jazzman the "second Colt". People would call me the "first Jazzman".
We both lead the Stables that fought for the good of the WWCF, we did what we could to keep the order here. Infact it was my leadership of the Story that gave me the name, "The White Knight" of the WWCF, the other name was The One True Constant... however that slowly started to come to an end at last years GookerMania, where it became apparent that my career was winding down, and before I knew it... the title of "The White Knight" went to Jazzman. A title that he definitely earned and fought for, but a title I might not have been ready to let go of.
So we stepped in the ring, in a Four Corner Elimination Match at In Your Apartment, leading into the match I would taunt Jazzman, telling him to finally break through the Glass Ceiling and actually become THE MAN. And although he would pin me, it wasn't without the help of Aaron Enigma.
I would go on to retire, and Jazzman would go on to become the new face of the WWCF, also the longest running WWCF Champion of all time, he would lead the second Era of the WWCF.
However it now appears that we are phasing out of that era into a new one, this Era of Attitude. And with that, the doubts come back, are me and Jazzman able to fit in with this new era? That question remains to be seen, but just incase we're not... or just incase we have to adjust who we are as competitors, we believe we should do what has to be done...
Duke it out, on the biggest stage of them all to see who is... The Whitest Knight!
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Post by Topher is Human on Sept 22, 2010 17:48:41 GMT -5
How would you like a place in my completly legal operation, Colt? ... You're kidding right?
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smokinvokoun
Dennis Stamp
Daffy's Gonna Kill You
Posts: 4,770
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Post by smokinvokoun on Sept 22, 2010 23:24:10 GMT -5
We see SMokin Vokoun sitting in his dark basement. There is a shadow over his face.
The sun....has never been my best friend. Though luckly I've been able to get a decent tan. But lately, my hatred for life and for people has grown, larger and larger...everyday. That hatred has grown the size of Godzilla,King Kong and that stupid monster from Cloverfield....COMBINED!!!! And all that hatred right now, has gone to one man...and that man is you..Amigo. I've never felt this much HATE AND ANGRY TOWARDS A MAN......it actually....makes me afraid. Yeah, me afraid. Because as I look at my hands, and I think about what I've done with these hands. I've caused alot of pain, destruction and suffering. But...I've never actually killed a man. I know I've threatened in the past that I would kill someone....but you fans must realize that it's just showboating...all of us wrestlers do it. Because we all...in some shape or form, have monsters inside us.Sure most will deny it....but we do have them. Amigo...I know you have a monster..deep inside your black and evil heart. But come this Monday Night, your meeting a man, whos heart is blacker...a man who is more evil than you could ever hope to imagine. And the said part is.....that all those fans....will be cheering on this massacre. Which, by itself is barbaric. But I may have to committ....the most barbaric thing that a man to do....I might have to kill you Amigo....in cold blood. And..to be honest Amigo...in a way, I want you to do the same thing.. Because I'd rather be dead....then to let you live in this match. Because I know it won't be easy, putting you down for a ten count. As you know, pin falls count...but they don't end the match. We have to beat each other to death for a pin...and a ten count. Heh.....and it's all for a piece of junk belt. But it's my belt. It's my piece of garbage.....it's the only thing I got in this world. Even though I burned down your manison....I iknow you have enough money to buy another one....that's not important. But, that belt .....is the only thing I have in this world. I've fought with my blood, my sweat...and my tears for that belt. For almost 5 months, I've held on to that belt with all that I have, and you took that away. Amigo.....as you can see....I can't live with out that belt...without that belt...my life isn't complete. My life has no purpose. And if I can't get what rightfully mine.....then there is no point in living. So Amigo...and I'm saying all of this with sobering seriousiness....I hope you know what your going into this monday night..because if you don't bring your best game, if you don't be the legendary Amigo at Gookermania III.....then your gonna be as good as dead........And Smokin Vokoun......isn't jokin.[/color]
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Post by Starshine on Sept 23, 2010 1:10:58 GMT -5
You could say I'm on a literal high right now. And if you did, I'd say you're right. In the last three weeks, yours truly, the Technical Professional has been unstoppable. That momentum continues next Monday at Gookermania when I climb the ladder and take down a briefcase which will mark the start of my road to glory. I'm one of eight, and the bookies have me as the clear cut favourite. Ladies, gentlemen, place all your bets on me because this horse is winning the race.
Oh, and I hear Shannon Gay isn't too pleased with how things went down last week. Shannon, you're a hell of a guy, but I want you to know I meant no ill will in my actions. In fact you could say it was just business, nothing personal. Tell you what, you want a shot at me? You got it, at Gookermania, in the Money in the Bank or Botch match. But don't be too disappointed if things don't go the way you hope. Because I'm the Technical Professional, and I'm as good as gold.
Yeah!
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littlenaitch
Dennis Stamp
Stylin' and Profilin'
Hall of Famer!!
Posts: 4,160
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Post by littlenaitch on Sept 23, 2010 22:57:27 GMT -5
This Monday night at GookerMania I will bring down the briefcase that contains the contract for the World Heavyweight Title and once I cash that contract in, I will achieve my goal of being the very first two time WWCF World Heavyweight Champion!!!!
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Post by Metalheadbanger Man on Sept 24, 2010 9:24:18 GMT -5
This Monday night at GookerMania I will bring down the briefcase that contains the contract for the World Heavyweight Title and once I cash that contract in, I will achieve my goal of being the very first two time WWCF World Heavyweight Champion!!!! Well, prepare yourself for some serious disappointment then dude, because that briefcase is mine. I already have a hardcore title shot, but I'm thinking bigger. Its just a matter of time before me and my Metalheads become double champions, and nobody deserves it more than me. I've given it all for this company, and I'm gonna be listening to some seriously brutal music in preparation for Gookermania.
This goes out to everyone else in that match too. Metal will reign supreme in WWCF, mark my words.
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Fiddleford H. McGucket
El Dandy
My Mind's been gone for 30-odd years! Can't Break what's already broken!
Posts: 8,748
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Post by Fiddleford H. McGucket on Sept 24, 2010 19:17:00 GMT -5
Yo ho.......Yo Ho.........A Champion's life for me. This Sunday, I'll be walking into the ring a mere Pirate.......yarrrrr.....but I'll be walkin' out a champion. And you know what M? Unlike you.....I'll be a fighting champion! If I win.....I'll hold an open challenge EVERY Week under "Pirate's Rules" to prove I should be the WWCF Champion of Honor. And If'n I should ever lose......I'll know damn well that it was to a TRULY superior wrestler and not because of a technicaliy or a damn fluke
~Yarr~
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Post by Seth Drakin of Monster Crap on Sept 25, 2010 0:52:14 GMT -5
*At the gym, we see Seth, who can be seen in the ring taking down two opponents using his agility and ring knowledge. After a few minutes of showing his skill, he claps.*
Seth: That was good guys, now let's take a few minutes for a breather.
*Seth gets out of the ring and gets a bottle of water. He then notices the camera and grabs a nearby towel to wipe the sweat off of him. He then looks directly at the camer and smiles*
Seth: Well, well, well. Seems that the WWCF media has finally found me. Took you long enough, but I guess that is to be expected when you are on a suspension.
But in a way, this suspension has been a blessing in disguise. Because of this, nobody has seen what I have been doing so when I come back to this ring and this company, Viva nor no one will know how good I have become. So I am coming into Gookermania a complete suprise.
Being the master of mental puppetry that I am, I actually enjoy this. You can look at all the tapes you want, you wont know what I have planned until it happens. Viva, I have watched you in the ring over the last few weeks and honestly, you have been impressive with victories over the current world champion and Mulligan. However, you are looking at a man who has beaten world champions in the past and have beaten random guys in the past as well.
But what you dont know is that I am also fighting on fumes of revenge. Viva, Jessica is still in the hospital because of your actions and you know what, you have to pay for your actions. Viva, you have wanted to be in the ring with me and now you get that opportunity. Be careful what you wish for because you might not like the results.
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smokinvokoun
Dennis Stamp
Daffy's Gonna Kill You
Posts: 4,770
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Post by smokinvokoun on Sept 27, 2010 3:12:23 GMT -5
Gookemaina....is almost apon us. Very soon now, Amigo and I will go one on one...IN THE MOST BRUTAL FIGHT THAT THIS COMPANY HAS EVER SEEN!!!! This night is the biggest night of not only my wrestling career....BUT OF MY WHOLE ROTTEN LIFE!!!! This is the Superbowl of Pro Wrestling....you know I actually wanted to be in a Superbowl, Amigo. But unfortunetly, life didn't grant me great athletic skill...and even if it did...they would never give me, charming good looks. So you see, I'm chunky, I have long hair...I LOOK LIKE A HOBO!!!! Some people here like to mistake me for a trucker...I'VE NEVER LEARNED HOW TO DRIVE A CAR...LET ALONE A DAMN TRUCK!!! Of course....I don't think anyone would want me to behind a wheel of a car..THE DEATH TOLL IN THIS COUNTRY WOULD SKY ROCKET!!! Why do you think I walked here to my debut in Febuary? So you can see...how unlikely it truely is...seeing a man like me on a night where there's gonna be the best wrestling action the world has ever known. Oh theres Jazzman vs Colt....Seth Drakin vs Viva Los Bio Dome....And of course the MAIN EVENT of Damn Right Jackson vs Jonathan Michaels....and theres....me. This scruffy looking bum, in a huge match at Gookermania. This could be my one shot at truely being a superstar in this company....and Amigo...don't think for one second that I'm gonna blow my one shot. Because I'm not going anywhere. Ever since I came to this company...I've seen alot of guys come...and a alot of guys go. BUT I'M STILL HERE!!!! All these "future stars" have failed...WHILE I'M STILL HERE AND KICKING!!!! So Amigo.....if you realy want to get rid of me...all you have to do is beat me..AND I DON'T THINK YOU CAN!!! In closing...I want to paraphrase a quote from one of my wrestling heroes growing up as a child...Amigo...I SNACK ON DANGER...I DINE ON DEATH...AND SMOKIN VOKOUN....ISN'T JOKIN!!!!!!!!!![/color]
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smokinvokoun
Dennis Stamp
Daffy's Gonna Kill You
Posts: 4,770
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Post by smokinvokoun on Sept 27, 2010 11:48:42 GMT -5
You know....as I sit here. Looking at the clock....waiting for the moment of a lifetime. To face to one and the only Amigo....at Gookermania for a championship in what will be the most bloody match in WWCF history. I can't help but feel...a little humble. Why do I feel humble, you ask? I've never shown to be humble before...why should I now? Well the truth of the matter is fans....Ol' Smoky is a little nervous. It's the big show...the big dance...Gookermania III. And while I hate his guts....I actually respect Amgio in a way. Because despite the arrogence...the deviousiness....the unriviled Douchebaggery that is the man....I have to give the man his props. He IS the first WWCF World Champion. No one will ever take that away from him....wither I beat his brains in or not. He is a legend in this business and in this company. I even watched the match three years ago...you know the one Amigo. It's considered a milestone in this company...you vs Bob Schlapowitz in the finals for the King of Wrestlecrap tournament...the winner is the first ever WWCF World Heavyweight Champion. AND YOU BEAT HIM AMIGO!!! You outlasted EVERYONE in he company at the time...to make history. Now be prepared to make history again, here tonight. Because, tonight....it's the old legend...vs the new rookie. I will be honest...I've never expected that this early in my career here that I would not only still be around for Gookermania...but to face on of the big boys. To face a legend. So you can see that I'm a little nervous....but I'm NOT intimitated at all. Because tonight, I'm gonna look this legend square in the eye and I'm gonna say..."What you have tonight...IS MINE!!!!" So as you can see Amigo, Im not taking you lightly. But I hope your not taking me lightly. Because you see Amigo...you are the last legend, the last original of this company....that hasn't given ME any respect. I remember when I first came here, I didn't get along with the likes of Little Natich, or Evil M, or Tyfo, or Jazzman or even the Boiler Room Brawler. But I've faced them all...they know what I can do, and they know that I'm dangerous. I don't need to be there buddies now..to have their respect....THATS ALL I WANT!!! IS RESPECT!!!! It took me a long time to get anyone to knowledge my existance in this company, without putting me down or my style of talking down...or anything about me. I don't apoligize for anything or who I am. All I am is Smokin Vokoun and what you see is what you get. I'm real Amigo. I'm real. I've fought the best and I beat the best...and tonight..I'M GONNA BEAT ONE OF THE BEST EVER!!!! And Amigo...I really hope you can live with it. Because I don't want you think that, that just because I beat you....that you lose your right to call yourself legend....it's just...when I do beat you tonight....THERE'S GONNA BE A NEW LEGEND!!!!!!![/color]
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Post by General Adam on Sept 27, 2010 22:59:30 GMT -5
*The General is seen in the locker room, getting his wounds check by a doctor.
The doctor leaves and the General takes a deep breath. Bingo the monkey comes up to him and pats him on the back*
Well my little friend....it looks like the party ends here.
*The General sits up and collects his things from his locker. He walks to the door and turns of the lights.*
So long WWCF.
WWCF Executive: Mr. General?
Who the hell are you?
WWCF Executive: My name is not important, but what is important is your position here at WWCF.
Position? I'm retiring?
WWCF Executive: Well that's great and all, but you can't.
What to you mean?
WWCF Executive: The WWCF has been losing wrestlers left and right, and we can't really afford to lose you as well.
So you want me to stay after I said I would retire? I can't do that. Think how disappointed then fans would be if I just said I was going to retire and come back. I'm not Ric Flair dammit!
WWCF Executive: I had a feeling it would come to this.
*He pulls out a pen and puts on a pair of sunglasses*
WWCF Executive: Look into the light please.
*A bright flash of light comes from the pen. The General has a black stare on his face*
WWCF Executive: Welcome to the WWCF General.
*The General shakes his head*
Whoa. How did I get here?
WWCF Executive: There's no time for questions like the General. Now head to the bus so you can make it to next weeks show.
Okay. Come on Bingo.
*Both the General and Bingo head to the bus. The WWCF Executive looks at the camera*
WWCF Executive: Now for the rest of you.
*The pen flashes again*
WWCF Executive: The General of the Monkey Army will make his debut next week. Don't miss it!
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Johnny B. Decent
Patti Mayonnaise
Had one once
Everybody's Favorite Arizonian.
Posts: 31,073
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Post by Johnny B. Decent on Sept 27, 2010 23:14:45 GMT -5
*We cut to the beautiful Parts Unknown countryside, specifically to Lake Mr. X.
Upon a close look, a gruff, extremely hairy man is running around the perimeter with two beer kegs on his shoulders. The cameraman gets close to him, as he then stops*
Ah, I think you are a WWCF employee, yeah? Well, nice to meet ya, kid. The name be Johnny Stone. What I am I doing, you ask? Well, my daily training exercise, that is. Only thing is, I filled these here kegs to the brim with Pabst Blue Ribbon to make it a bit harder. But hey, I need it so I can make an impact in this hear WWCF group.
I've been wrestling for a while, you know, up north, Canada, those kinda places, and I have to say some palooka said to me one night : "Hey Johnny, you want a real challenge? Well, ditch these hosers and go to the WWCF in the States. I guarantee you'll have your fill!" So, while I was a wee bit tipsy, and may have thrown up on him afterwords, I was sober enough to understand and applied, and hey wouldn't you know that Seth Drakin' fella gave me the thumbs up!
Now, I'll be pretty honest: I play rough. I mean, not like some pantywaist who needs to smuggle some crap in so he can win, but I don't wear no kid gloves, ya know? But, I'm fair, I think.
So, you here fans, when you see my name on da' card, I want you to get a buck'o'five, to get some beer, some salty peanuts, and one day, you can tell your little man that you saw someone who told it like it was, both in the ring, and out.
All righty, I got to go. These here Kegs aren't carrying themselves, eh? Bye.
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Post by BoilerRoomBrawler on Sept 28, 2010 1:00:28 GMT -5
BRB: Well, Whitey, I did what you paid me for, but I want to strike it out on my own. I have two things on my mind. The first is that I have a month to train for the Chamber of Horrors match for the WWCF Title. It would be a shame if I squandered that match by getting fried in the brain and forgetting everything again, so I have to find a new training partner, Jazzman.
The second is this TTS character. I don't remember you. Who are you? Why did you do all of this to me?
In any case, I'm interested in this Johnny Stone, as well as this "General of the Monkey Army." Heck, I'll even give him his first match; I'm sure we'll be about as good as each other at this point.
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Post by Starshine on Sept 28, 2010 2:10:59 GMT -5
Jerry Fish - I'm backstage here after an incredible Gookermania event. Most of the WWCF suprstars are back here, but I have one in particular that I hope to interview.
*He walks down a short hall where we see Ryan Starshine, still in his gear, sitting on a bench, crouched over, holding his head in his hands.*
Jerry Fish - Uh, Starshine, could we take a moment of your time?
*Starshine looks up*
Jerry Fish - Obviously we know you'd hoped for a different outcome tonight. You had the match all but won at a point. It must be hard expecially after you guaranteed a win. But really, we just wanted to ask you your thoughts on the match.
*Starshine stands up, looking at the groud*
Starshine - I think... I think that was bulls***.
*He looks at Jerry Fish*
Starshine - That was bulls***!
*Jerry Fish looks on as Starshine walks away*
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Post by thesam07 on Sept 28, 2010 9:43:50 GMT -5
*We see The Sam leaving the arena heading to his limo* Fred Neric - The Sam, with an amazing evening behind us. I'd like to get your thoughts on Gookermania 3? The Sam - Let me just say that I am so pleased with Naitch for grabbing a briefcase. I told you he would be getting a title shot didn't I? Fred Neric - But Sam, there were 4 briefcases. 1 had a world title shot, another had a Interforum title shot, the third one had a tag title shot and the 4th one unfortunately has a pink slip. The Sam - Yeah, so, what's your point? Fred Neric -Well, what if Naitch gets the dreaded pink slip? The Sam - Listen, it's a scary thought I know but I have serious doubts that will happen anytime soon. Fred Neric - How do you know? The Sam - Let's just call it "Managers intuition". But you see Fred, everyones got their focus off the big picture. People shouldn't b worried about who is gonna get fired. People should be wondering what title will Naitch hold? Will he be the Interforum champ? Will he and Tyfo reclaim the Tag Team titles, because as you know, they are the greatest - wait, scratch that - the GREATEST TAG TEAM IN THE WORLD! Or, will Naitch finally reclaim the title that was stolen from him over a year ago? And become the first ever 2 time WWCF World Champion? Well there is only one way to find out. Tune into WWCF next Monday to see it all happen. Now excuse me I have to take this. (The Sam answers his brick sized mobile phone) Konichiwa? Yes Lanny, did you watch it? (The Sam enters his limo as it drives off)
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