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Post by Crusty Ruffles on Mar 1, 2011 20:29:28 GMT -5
As the brawl continues in the ring, something is slowly lowered from the ceiling. The crowd erupts like never before when they realize it's....
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bob
Salacious Crumb
The "other" Bob. FOC COURSE!
started the Madness Wars, Proudly the #1 Nana Hater on FAN
Posts: 78,464
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Post by bob on Mar 1, 2011 20:46:15 GMT -5
GODZILLA!!!!!!!
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Post by HMARK Center on Mar 1, 2011 20:48:51 GMT -5
And his tag team partner, Jet Jaguar!
The ref calls for the bell to signal a new match: the Gunner/Murphy hybrid vs. the Cheex/Maffew hybrid vs. Ron Jeremy vs. Godzilla and Jet Jaguar!
Ron Jeremy desperately seeks a partner, when out of nowhere HULK HOGAN appears!
Unfortunately for Ron he's just looking for a hot dog. But a NEW partner appears right behind the Hulkster! It's-
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edgedge
Team Rocket
asdf
Posts: 943
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Post by edgedge on Mar 1, 2011 21:08:35 GMT -5
strangely enough, it too is Hulk Hogan. Except this one is 500 pounds heavier, and is equipped with a fork and a laser cannon. Jeremy and Laser-Fork Hogan sneak attack Jet Jaguar and throw him into a hole at ringside.
Suddenly, Jeff Jarrett interferes and lays everybody out with guitar shots, including himself, dead Tazz, not-dead Tazz and the dozens of brooms at ringside. One man swoops in to finally get some airtime in TNA, and that man IS...
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bob
Salacious Crumb
The "other" Bob. FOC COURSE!
started the Madness Wars, Proudly the #1 Nana Hater on FAN
Posts: 78,464
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Post by bob on Mar 1, 2011 21:27:37 GMT -5
Kizarny!
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Post by DSR on Mar 1, 2011 21:36:19 GMT -5
*TEST PATTERN* We come back to find Tazz and Tenay playing with pogs, and visibly bored by this activity. Just then, Tazz and Tenay's announce table is knocked over by...
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bob
Salacious Crumb
The "other" Bob. FOC COURSE!
started the Madness Wars, Proudly the #1 Nana Hater on FAN
Posts: 78,464
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Post by bob on Mar 1, 2011 21:45:29 GMT -5
David Arquette and David Spade who are brawling. As they brawl the knock the shades off of "Tazz" revealing....
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Post by DSR on Mar 1, 2011 21:52:59 GMT -5
David Arquette and David Spade who are brawling. As they brawl the knock the shades off of "Tazz" revealing.... SABU! Who then dives onto a table for no reason, breaking it!
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Raging_Demons
Don Corleone
I Can Ride My Bike With No Handlebars, No Handlebars, No Handlebars!
Posts: 1,620
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Post by Raging_Demons on Mar 1, 2011 21:54:26 GMT -5
The table's wife & kids sue Sabu for Assault!
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Post by DSR on Mar 1, 2011 22:21:00 GMT -5
The table's wife & kids sue Sabu for Assault! The table's wife and kids are a coffee table and a pair of end tables. The prosecuting attorney is a desk lamp. The Judge is one of those brooms from earlier. The jury is a rack of folding chairs.
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Post by yapappi4life on Mar 1, 2011 22:21:36 GMT -5
Dixie Carter arrives and announces three new rules:
#1: No more TNA trons. It was sold for a Christopher Walken head-like entrance stage where wrestlers come out of its mouth
#2: From now on, to win a match, you must be pinned for a three-count by your opponent or made to submit.
#3 The default World Champion is Bruce Hart.
#4 Daniels and Samoa Joe are the new full-time cleaning crew of TNA
#5 She has an explosive, multi-orgasmic affair with Don West and Mike Tenay.
#6: ...As she goes to claim the 6th rule, "Howdy hoo!" hits the speakers and MASTER P materializes out of nowhere and delivers his grunting rap that grates the ears of the fans. Seeing him not over in any way somehow turns Dixie on sexually like she has never been sexually turned on before. She pulls out daddy's credit card and signes Master P on the premise thta he now has to mutter and sing EVERY TNA theme music. But what is the 6th rule?
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Raging_Demons
Don Corleone
I Can Ride My Bike With No Handlebars, No Handlebars, No Handlebars!
Posts: 1,620
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Post by Raging_Demons on Mar 1, 2011 22:40:29 GMT -5
6th Rule: You cannot kill OCP Employees...or Hulk Hogan. Result of disobeying the 6th Rule results in shutdown & death.
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Post by HMARK Center on Mar 1, 2011 22:41:55 GMT -5
The table's wife & kids sue Sabu for Assault! The table's wife and kids are a coffee table and a pair of end tables. The prosecuting attorney is a desk lamp. The Judge is one of those brooms from earlier. The jury is a rack of folding chairs. Sabu, fortunately, has a wonderful defense attorney, who appears in a burst of fireworks while Master P beatboxes and sings his theme song. This defense attorney is none other than-
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Post by DSR on Mar 1, 2011 23:10:00 GMT -5
The table's wife and kids are a coffee table and a pair of end tables. The prosecuting attorney is a desk lamp. The Judge is one of those brooms from earlier. The jury is a rack of folding chairs. Sabu, fortunately, has a wonderful defense attorney, who appears in a burst of fireworks while Master P beatboxes and sings his theme song. This defense attorney is none other than- DELIRIOUS!
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bob
Salacious Crumb
The "other" Bob. FOC COURSE!
started the Madness Wars, Proudly the #1 Nana Hater on FAN
Posts: 78,464
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Post by bob on Mar 2, 2011 3:01:43 GMT -5
mean while, Bela pulls another string as he doesn't like the changes Dixie made so he decides to punish her by turning Dixie into......
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Post by DSR on Mar 2, 2011 3:20:09 GMT -5
mean while, Bela pulls another string as he doesn't like the changes Dixie made so he decides to punish her by turning Dixie into...... ...DELIRIOUS! Which means that Sabu now has no defense attorney, and winds up losing his case. He winds up in jail for the rest of his life. ANYWAY, Delirious decides TNA needs new rules. Rule #1: gnbapobnabnalncvoPNUCHPQE PHQ**HF)(FHNJNV LNJLKVHBNI OVHBUIOBFfhjofn ojiwhbgfuiooBJIOB NUVIHBNE jiok rfkoenwfgiojhbuio bnfjeofnbefjiobuio HIUO HBIUGO BEGIHnjkfln oi Rule #2...
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Post by HMARK Center on Mar 2, 2011 9:31:19 GMT -5
...You do not tell anybody about TNA."
TNA's advertising and PR department sighs a breath of relief, since that's what they do with their jobs already.
Back at ringside, everybody just kind of sits around for awhile, Taz mindlessly scratching at a jock itch he's been fighting and Delirious licking the ring ropes. This brings out AJ Styles, and he's not alone!
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edgedge
Team Rocket
asdf
Posts: 943
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Post by edgedge on Mar 2, 2011 12:09:07 GMT -5
Actually, in a Russo twist, he IS alone! Bela pulls a string turning AJ Styles into-
*TEST PATTERN*
"OH MY GOD, MIKE TENAY! MY COFFEE JUST GOT CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMED!"
The Great Khali and Delirious are having a No Holds Barred Bra and Panties Electrified Last Man Standing Steel Cage Hardcore Street Eating and Dancing Contest with Mountain Dew and Pot Pies Fight Match for the ownership of TNA. Suddenly, the steel cage comes to life and decides he's going to go get a job and make a decent living! Matt Hardy comes out and breaks the first rule in TNA, "gnbapobnabnalncvoPNUCHPQE PHQ**HF)(FHNJNV LNJLKVHBNI OVHBUIOBFfhjofn ojiwhbgfuiooBJIOB NUVIHBNE jiok rfkoenwfgiojhbuio bnfjeofnbefjiobuio HIUO HBIUGO BEGIHnjkfln oi".
The new owner of TNA, Bob Backlund, is not pleased at this, and puts Hardy in the Chickenwing Crossface. Unfortunately for him, Batista decided to pull a rib, and put glue on Backlund's arms, meaning he is now stuck to Matt Hardy. Suddenly, Eric Bischoff comes out in a Mickey Mouse costume and...
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bob
Salacious Crumb
The "other" Bob. FOC COURSE!
started the Madness Wars, Proudly the #1 Nana Hater on FAN
Posts: 78,464
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Post by bob on Mar 2, 2011 14:48:16 GMT -5
forces Mr. Backlund to put on a chicken suit after threatening to get Bela to pull a string and turn him into a chicken. However, once Bob gets the suit on Eric duct tapes the suit on him.
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Post by Black Swagger on Mar 2, 2011 15:02:08 GMT -5
And out comes Vince Russo dressed as a Mexican pimp while driving a Taco truck. He approaches Mr. Backlund and says.......
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