agent817
Fry's dog Seymour
Doesn't Know Whose Ring It Is
Posts: 21,264
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Post by agent817 on Apr 9, 2011 19:34:59 GMT -5
My ex dumped me with a "We have things in common (personality), but these are the things I hate of myself" Reminds me of that Seinfeld episode when Jerry met that woman who was a carbon copy of himself. He thought that it was a match made in heaven and then thought "Why would I want to date someone like me? I hate myself."
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Jiren
Patti Mayonnaise
Hearts Bayformers
Posts: 35,163
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Post by Jiren on Apr 9, 2011 20:27:24 GMT -5
I cracked a Tooth and was in chronic pain for around a week and I was being pissy & irritable with people (I was in chronic pain) including this girl who I was friends with (And liked).
Anyway I had the tooth removed and I Apologised for being a dick (And told her the reason) and on top of that told her how I felt, She hasn't spoken to me since.
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Post by Koda, Master Crunchyroller on Apr 9, 2011 20:39:18 GMT -5
I was shot down with the "I'm not ready for a relationship." line, of course later that day after school, I saw on her MySpace that she was pining after some dude. For f***'s sakes, at least give me the dignity of honesty. Saying you aren't ready for a relationship but then pine after some other guy means you ARE ready for a relationship, just...not with me.
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agent817
Fry's dog Seymour
Doesn't Know Whose Ring It Is
Posts: 21,264
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Post by agent817 on Apr 9, 2011 20:57:17 GMT -5
I was shot down with the "I'm not ready for a relationship." line, of course later that day after school, I saw on her MySpace that she was pining after some dude. For f***'s sakes, at least give me the dignity of honesty. Saying you aren't ready for a relationship but then pine after some other guy means you ARE ready for a relationship, just...not with me. Well, I'm sad to say that I was that guy who said that I wasn't ready for a relationship and totally broke a girl's heart that way. Here's what I mean: Three years ago, I was talking to this one girl and she was instantly smitten with me. How I met her was through a friend (We're no longer friends, by the way) and she gave her my number. We talked a lot for a couple of months, even though I didn't really feel any real attraction to her, or maybe I did but the feeling faded after a while. After I had that falling out with that friend, things started feeling awkward and I didn't talk to that girl much. I wanted to tell her that I didn't have those feelings but I ended up just saying that I wanted to be friends. I said that I wasn't interested in a relationship at that point. However, around that same time, I met this bus driver (Who was my age, by the way) and we sort of hit it off. We started dating for a little bit. We talked on the phone almost every day and here comes the bad part. Right after I talked to my girlfriend at the time, the other girl calls me out of nowhere and we hadn't talked much before that. I told her that I was seeing someone and she felt betrayed. Not just because I was seeing someone, but also the fact that I didn't tell her sooner and she was all saying that she was waiting for me because she was in love with me. That same girl is kind of still in my life, she has a new man now, but she says that she has never gotten over me and probably never will.
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Dr. T is an alien
Patti Mayonnaise
Knows when to hold them, knows when to fold them
I've been found out!
Posts: 31,366
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Post by Dr. T is an alien on Apr 9, 2011 22:11:16 GMT -5
I had one girl that said that she liked me a lot, but I was not the type that turned her on. As it turns out, the kind of guys that turned her on treated her like garbage (I mean, every single one of them). She admitted that she thought that I would be a great catch, but she was not interested in dating anyone that she did not want to do dirty, dirty things with.
I also had one girl lie to me and say that she just started dating someone when she did not. In retrospect, it was okay as it turned out that her issues were not the type that showed up until you got to know her very well, and by that point she would have gotten pregnant on purpose to keep you (it is what she did to the guy that she eventually started dating).
My brother had a long term girlfriend decide that they should have an open relationship. Unfortunately, she never thought to mention it to him or consult him about it in any way before she started living the swinger's life.
The worst time that I was turned down was not the reason that I was turned down (though in retrospect it was a real slap to the face), but the how. I asked a supposed friend and co-worker out when we ran into each other at the university library. Instead of saying that she was not into me or anything that is relatively easy to accept, she chose to be insulted that someone like me would think that she would possibly be interested in lowering herself to consider going out with me. She proceeded to yell at me, in the middle of the library, over the insult that asking her out constituted. As embarrassing and crushing as that was, I cannot say that I really found any solace in the fact that in a couple of short years she got addicted to some sort of drug and fed her addiction by taking care of her dealers "needs" from time to time.
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thegigolo
ALF
Leaving the women of the world satisfied one night at a time.
Posts: 1,043
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Post by thegigolo on Apr 9, 2011 22:13:57 GMT -5
I had one girl that said that she liked me a lot, but I was not the type that turned her on. As it turns out, the kind of guys that turned her on treated her like garbage (I mean, every single one of them). She admitted that she thought that I would be a great catch, but she was not interested in dating anyone that she did not want to do dirty, dirty things with. I also had one girl lie to me and say that she just started dating someone when she did not. In retrospect, it was okay as it turned out that her issues were not the type that showed up until you got to know her very well, and by that point she would have gotten pregnant on purpose to keep you (it is what she did to the guy that she eventually started dating). My brother had a long term girlfriend decide that they should have an open relationship. Unfortunately, she never thought to mention it to him or consult him about it in any way before she started living the swinger's life. The worst time that I was turned down was not the reason that I was turned down (though in retrospect it was a real slap to the face), but the how. I asked a supposed friend and co-worker out when we ran into each other at the university library. Instead of saying that she was not into me or anything that is relatively easy to accept, she chose to be insulted that someone like me would think that she would possibly be interested in lowering herself to consider going out with me. She proceeded to yell at me, in the middle of the library, over the insult that asking her out constituted. As embarrassing and crushing as that was, I cannot say that I really found any solace in the fact that in a couple of short years she got addicted to some sort of drug and fed her addiction by taking care of her dealers "needs" from time to time. Dirty things are the funner things.
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Post by Princess Kendall on Apr 9, 2011 22:15:11 GMT -5
"You're too young"
LOL REALLY? You're ONE year older than me, you act like you're five years old, and you're going to say I'm too young? Okay, makes sense and is completely rational.
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Post by therealsks on Apr 9, 2011 23:09:49 GMT -5
It actually wasn't me (if it was me I'd still say it, even though it's pretty embarrassing), it was one of my closest friends Freshman year in HS. He made out with her one day, the next day she turned lesbian, no joke.
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Post by Danimal on Apr 9, 2011 23:12:13 GMT -5
The worst time that I was turned down was not the reason that I was turned down (though in retrospect it was a real slap to the face), but the how. I asked a supposed friend and co-worker out when we ran into each other at the university library. Instead of saying that she was not into me or anything that is relatively easy to accept, she chose to be insulted that someone like me would think that she would possibly be interested in lowering herself to consider going out with me. She proceeded to yell at me, in the middle of the library, over the insult that asking her out constituted. As embarrassing and crushing as that was, I cannot say that I really found any solace in the fact that in a couple of short years she got addicted to some sort of drug and fed her addiction by taking care of her dealers "needs" from time to time. Generally I'd feel sorry for somebody turning tricks to feed a drug-habit but when it's somebody that was a mean-spirited beeyotch to begin with sympathy becomes difficult.
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Post by KStrick on Apr 9, 2011 23:35:18 GMT -5
I was with a girl for a few years back the first time I went to college. We just clicked on every level. My only complaint is that, while she DID drink (and as a preface, I don't care if you drink, just a.) be of legal age, b.) be SMART about it, and c.) be sure to make informed adult decisions), she had a problem whenever she was "stressed" or whatnot, she'd go out to the local country bar with her girlfriends, or the gay bar with her gay friend, and come back to my dorm COMPLETELY trashed, wanting sex. I told her a.) no way, not in that condition, and b.) not until we're married (if that occurs). When she wasn't like that, she was perfect for me. We had the same interests, we had the same friends, we got along like peanut butter and jelly. She finally did calm down her drinking, and things got a lot better. We went through a hard time, and, in my moment of weakness, DID finally have sex a couple of times with her to try to save the relationship, as I was dumb at the time (I was 18). When I stopped caring about college, and my grades suffered heavily, her and I started arguing heavily (I still say the sex ruined our relationship). Finally, after dropping a GPA from 4.0 my first semester to a 1.3 the second by just not going to class, and not caring, I decided ultimately after 9/11 to join the Air Force. We worked things out after I dropped out of college and took a job at Buffalo Wild Wings about 90 minutes away from her until I my report-to day. We had a going away party for me, and since she stayed the night, we did have sex again (not ENTIRELY something I was enthralled about, but I figured that we were getting pretty close to making it official, anyway)
I heard that her new friends got her hooked back onto alcohol, with her constantly out at the bar when she wasn't at class or doing her arts stuff (she was an arts major).
I received a letter from her every day my first week at Basic, which did make me feel appreciated. Then... nothing.
After a few weeks of Tech School, you're allowed to use the internet again, so I got back into touch with some old mutual friends from college, who had said she had changed drastically.
She was a heavy drinker, she would go to class enough to just skirt the C grade (to her, as one of my friends said, "It's an arts degree, as long as you HAVE one, it doesn't matter what the GPA is, it's more your portfolio, and she based a lot of her portfolio on her amazing paintings she did when she was in high school). I tried calling her, e-mailing her, and could not get a hold of her, her roommates always said "she's busy with her arts group".
When I finally DID get a hold of her, she was incredibly distant. Then, one day on the phone, it just came. "I'm not sure if this distance will work". (She was still in Ohio, and I was stationed in California at the time, not knowing what my permanent duty station would be). After that, she wouldn't return my calls, she would ignore my e-mails, and, according to one of our mutual friends, she tried to turn them against me.
One of our mutual friends broke down to me on the phone one day (on just a casual conversation on how we're both holding up, her and her fiancee and me in the Air Force). She told me of how the girl had gone so far off the deep end, she let herself go completely. There was a guy in one of her classes she went out with, got plastered drunk with him, and they spent a week together, pretty much. This was a few weeks after I stopped receiving letters from her.
So when she found out our friend told me what happened, she finally e-mailed me, telling me to call her. She apologized, saying that she was "preoccupied". I told her I knew how she meant. She simply said "I'm not with that guy anymore." I told her that she was right, we were apart, so if she was still with him, I wouldn't care, because we were separated. She then, matter of fact-ly said, "oh, well, I lied, we're still together, then. I just didn't want to make you feel bad". I don't know WHY that set me off, but it did. I've never raised my voice to anyone outside my immediate family until that moment, but I guess my temper caused her to finally tell me everything, and at the same time try to do damage control.
"He loves me as much as you do" "You're halfway across the country, I have needs" "He reminds me of you so much" "I miss you so much" "I still love you" "Every time we have sex, I think of you"
On and on.
I told her that I had had enough, and said that the next few weeks were going to be torture on me due to the increased training, and that I'd get back to her when I had time.
I graduated from Tech School, and went home to Ohio. She had discovered I was back at home, so she asked me to go visit her, we needed to air things out.
Against my better judgment, I said okay, as I felt horrible for screaming at her, and wanted to apologize. I had also found God during that time frame (the wheels were in motion long before I had figured everything out, but this DID assist heavily), and my closest friend, who helped dramatically with the conversion, said that I needed to forgive myself, then forgive her.
We met at a coffee house outside the University. Of course, she had a flask, and mixed it in with her drink. Her silence spoke more volumes than I could ever comprehend. Her head was down, most of the time. She spoke so quietly I had to ask her to repeat herself quite a few times.
The longer the conversation went on, the more she added the flask to her drink. I told her she needed to draw back on the mixing. It was affecting her life.
"I still love you."
I told her I was going to take her home, I wanted to go hang out with some friends I hadn't seen in a while. The ride back, she turned.
"You never loved me!" "You never supported me!" "Your friends were always more important to you than me!"
Nothing I could say changed her tone. I gave her specific examples of going out with her instead of spending time with friends. I sold my video game systems to help her pay for art supplies. Still, come hell or high water, I was going to be the instigator of everything. I was going to be the cause of her problems.
That damn drive, normally a 10 minute drive, seemed to go on forever. It was the longest stretch I've ever driven. By this point, I was used to being screamed at (you know, the whole military thing), so I was comfortable with giving calm responses to someone whose face was twisted and maroon.
I turned off my cell phone, and went home.
I woke up the next morning with 14 messages, varying from her apologizing for her actions, back to me not being there for her, to "not understanding what she's going through".
I called some friends and arranged to hang out at the usual path we did. The Chinese Buffet, Best Buy, the mall, laser tag, a round of putt putt, then to Sheetz for those awesome frozen orange drinks (MAN I wish Texas had a Sheetz!)
With all of us together, 8 people crowded into my 1996 Jeep (granted, a few of them were couples, so people sat on laps, a few people sat in the "trunk". With everyone crowded up, no need to have my cell phone on.
We had a great time. Tears were shed, "I'm proud of you for what you're doing", the like. Hugs were exchanged, and a very sad departure. Midway on my drive back home, I turned on my cell phone.
First message...
"Am I not good enough for you and OUR friends anymore?" "You know, I know of you and (mutual friend who told me everything". (A.) no. B.)she's not my type. C.) she was engaged to one of my better friends. D.) During my relationship with my g/f, I never even looked at another girl. I had quite a few female friends, mostly due to my employment with the Housing at the University, so I got to know EVERYONE in my dorm, but NOTHING even came CLOSE to crossing my mind about anything more serious than lighthearted joking.)
"You're a horrible person!" That one always resonated with me...
I finally pulled off at some restaurant, called her back, and it went straight to voice mail. I simply said "I understand you're going through a lot. I know you're stressed from college. I understand you're in a relationship that you aren't enjoying. I know you're angry with me. However, I also know that I don't need to deal with this. If you want to be friends, that's fine. If you never want to know of my existence, that's also fine. I support you in your decisions. I loved you more than I can put into words. We've just branched apart, and nothing will be able to put us back on the same path. I'm praying for you to find what you feel you need to find. I'm praying you find happiness. Ultimately, (her name), I'm praying for you. Please, be safe, be smart. Know that I loved you, and you made me so happy in our time together. However, these past few weeks have shown me that we cannot be friends until we both grow up and mature more. Take some time to find out what you need. In a few weeks, once I have leave, and come home for Christmas, I'll be happy to come to the city to visit and catch up. Until then, please just take that energy you have and put it into your classes. I'm concerned about them. Give me a call around Christmas."
I was later stationed in Wyoming. Hadn't heard from her in 3 years. Out of the blue, she sent me a friend request on MySpace. She looked incredibly different. Arts school had changed her into the archetype "stereotype" of the arts student. Her friends left her messages talking of their booty call exploits, alluding to her participating heavily as well. She had a ton of references to heavy drinking.
I declined.
We haven't talked since then. Since then, I've found it difficult to relate to women, hell, to even try to pursue relationships beyond friendship. I've been through some pretty bad relationships in high school and college before, but at least once those ended, I still attempted to maintain friendships with those girls. Hell, half of them I talk to, and joke with, on a normal basis on Facebook.
Every time I start to get involved with a girl, my mind goes back to her, and I get reminded of the hard times. I freak out. I freak out whenever anyone touches me. I freak out whenever anyone compliments me. It's to the point that my friends (Madaba can attest to this) question whether I'm even interested in dating, or women. The running gag I have on myself is that I'm asexual, at this point.
Even though I've leveled out, and remain professional and approachable, I still have problems with relating to women, refuse to be touched, and still have a hard time taking complements. I've broken off a few relationships down here, partially due to age differences (I'm 27, I'm not going to date an 18 year old girl), but also because I'm still scared of being hurt.
To think, this "break up" was over 7 years ago, now.
The thing that breaks my heart the most? I never forgave her.
I set out to forgive her, but my emotions got the best of me.
She canceled her myspace. She doesn't have a Facebook. Her e-mail account is either canceled out, or hasn't been used in forever.
For all I know, she could be off, married, and enjoying life. I'm hoping that's the case. We parted on such horrible terms. I don't care about her favor, I just want her to be happy.
But to this day, even through the best, the worst outweighs it heavily.
I'm not exactly a social butterfly to begin with. My entire life has been on my own. I've had a SMALL group of true friends. It was difficult for me to relate to people before her. It's more difficult now.
I've been on a few dates since then. Most of the time, it ends with me saying I'm not interested. I've been "hooked up" in attempts to "snap me out of it". A friend, wanting a booty call with a girl, hooked me up with her friend so she'd go out with (and put out for) him. Yeah, he got laid, I was put up with an ex-army, heavy smoker, heavy drinker, swore every other word, had two kids from two different fathers, and was incredibly pushy, then was curious as to why I wasn't receptive towards her.
I've reverted back to my "no premarital sex" rule. Since finding religion, I've also changed my style of thought to a more traditional view; ask a girl's parents permission before going out with her (moreso when I was stationed in Wyoming, and the girls lived with their parents, here in college, they're off on their own, so it's more difficult to get in touch with parents).
Now I'm in college. I'm a 4.0 student. I take 20 credit hours, and when I'm not in class, I'm in the student lounge studying, usually proctoring a group. In my friendships, I'm the voice of reason, mostly due to experience. I've been told more times than I can count "I wish you were with me when X happened, you would have known what to do".
Still, it's improbable I'll ever find myself in a position receptive to forming a meaningful relationship with a woman.
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El Hijo De Slapnuts
Samurai Cop
Really waiting for Minoru Suzuki to face off with a live gator.....
Posts: 2,256
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Post by El Hijo De Slapnuts on Apr 9, 2011 23:39:31 GMT -5
I was shot down with the "I'm not ready for a relationship." line, of course later that day after school, I saw on her MySpace that she was pining after some dude. For f***'s sakes, at least give me the dignity of honesty. Saying you aren't ready for a relationship but then pine after some other guy means you ARE ready for a relationship, just...not with me. I had that once,this girl was cute,and I had a small crush on her;her boyfriend breaks up with her and she's ANNIHILATED,so I consul her after 6 weeks of her sulking,and she unloads everything on me,which I try and help her with it;I told her that i'd date her if I could,she tells me "Coop,I like you,but I'm just too damaged at the moment to trust anyone";I'm cool with it,so she sees a shrink and within a day or two she's dating someone else,but she was hyper-clingy and obsessive,so......yay me!
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vashondude
Samurai Cop
in the name of love before you break my heart
Posts: 2,298
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Post by vashondude on Apr 9, 2011 23:40:41 GMT -5
A couple from my AOL days (late 90's)...
One was when she said she had gotten back together with an old boyfriend (which I suspect was not true). What made it really bad was that we were going to meet at a mall (which was 1.5 hour trip by bus from my house) and she never showed up (I waited for about an hour or so and left).
Another one (different person) was she had enough friends. This happened after I had asked if she wanted to meet sometime and she asked if I had a picture (which probably was a good indication that I should've dropped the offer right then and there). I sent the picture and was rejected.
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darthalexander
Hank Scorpio
I have a feeling I may end up getting banned soon.
Posts: 7,030
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Post by darthalexander on Apr 10, 2011 0:00:26 GMT -5
My first girlfriend was mental case (to put it mildly). She used to cry on our dates because she couldn't understand why I liked her. She dumped me to go back to her ex who apparently used to beat her. Don't know if it's true but my god was she a nut.
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