FinalGwen
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Particularly fond of muffins.
Posts: 16,443
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Post by FinalGwen on Jul 26, 2012 15:54:38 GMT -5
Although you didn't mention rape, it remains that the logic you used there is exactly the type that people do use to justify rape. "Oh, dressed like that, she's asking for it!". It's the reason things like the "Slut Walks" have taken off, to show that no matter how a woman is dressed, it doesn't mean she necessarily wants male attention. It may just mean that she likes the clothes and how they look.
Also, I thought that posting pictures on Facebook was meant to be for a circle of friends that you add, not the whole internet. If they wanted a bunch of random men to be ogling it, there are plenty of sites that can cater for that.
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The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
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Post by The Line on Jul 26, 2012 15:55:10 GMT -5
Getting a message from interested dudes should not be considered harassment just because she finds them "gross". I message chicks who post attractive pics all the time, I'm not sexually harassing them. Sending them a friend request isn't sexual harassment. If you're going to post these type of pictures that are available to the whole internet, you open yourself to positive and negative attention. And I'm sure every message she got was extremely classy. oh, [/sarcasm]
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Arrow
Hank Scorpio
Posts: 5,122
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Post by Arrow on Jul 26, 2012 15:55:47 GMT -5
It's just common sense. You should understand the message you're sending. Perception and reality aren't the same thing, it sucks but you have to account for what people will think when you put things in public. Thank you. I don't see how it would be unfair of anyone to point something like that out. To use a bit of an extreme example, let's say I'm walking around a bad area with my wallet, noticeably filled with cash, out. Let's say someone notices that and robs me. Would that person be justified for robbing me? Of course not. Would I still be an idiot for walking around an area, with a wallet everyone can see has money in it, where I know that this is likely to happen? Of course. Even if it's not your "fault", common sense should still tell you to take precautions so that you minimize the risk of these things happening.
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King Ghidorah
El Dandy
On Probation for Charges of two counts of Saxual Music.
How Absurd
Posts: 8,330
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Post by King Ghidorah on Jul 26, 2012 15:59:31 GMT -5
Although you didn't mention rape, it remains that the logic you used there is exactly the type that people do use to justify rape. "Oh, dressed like that, she's asking for it!". It's the reason things like the "Slut Walks" have taken off, to show that no matter how a woman is dressed, it doesn't mean she necessarily wants male attention. It may just mean that she likes the clothes and how they look. Also, I thought that posting pictures on Facebook was meant to be for a circle of friends that you add, not the whole internet. If they wanted a bunch of random men to be ogling it, there are plenty of sites that can cater for that. Then set your profile to private, make a friends only folder that only your friends can see. The women need accountability too. *It's her profile picture as well* She's not being a trend setter, she's not being an advocate for womens rights. She took a slutty pic and got pulled into defending herself when some chick brought it up. That picture is different from:
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2012 16:18:16 GMT -5
Language
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The Ichi
Patti Mayonnaise
AGGRESSIVE Executive Janitor of the Third Floor Manager's Bathroom
Posts: 37,320
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Post by The Ichi on Jul 26, 2012 16:23:37 GMT -5
Although you didn't mention rape, it remains that the logic you used there is exactly the type that people do use to justify rape. "Oh, dressed like that, she's asking for it!". It's the reason things like the "Slut Walks" have taken off, to show that no matter how a woman is dressed, it doesn't mean she necessarily wants male attention. It may just mean that she likes the clothes and how they look. Also, I thought that posting pictures on Facebook was meant to be for a circle of friends that you add, not the whole internet. If they wanted a bunch of random men to be ogling it, there are plenty of sites that can cater for that. Then set your profile to private, make a friends only folder that only your friends can see. The women need accountability too. *It's her profile picture as well* She's not being a trend setter, she's not being an advocate for womens rights. She took a slutty pic and got pulled into defending herself when some chick brought it up. That picture is different from: Her reaction is a bit OOT but maybe she just wanted to show off her bathing suit. I kind of hate the "she was asking for it" mindset. The pic in the OP is a bit of a tricky case as it did look deliberately provocative, but some women (and men for that matter) just want to be proud of how they look without being creeped on. That's all there is to it.
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King Ghidorah
El Dandy
On Probation for Charges of two counts of Saxual Music.
How Absurd
Posts: 8,330
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Post by King Ghidorah on Jul 26, 2012 16:25:50 GMT -5
That's what I meant, two different images even though both a "risque"
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chazraps
Wade Wilson
Better have my money when I come-a collect!
Posts: 28,017
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Post by chazraps on Jul 26, 2012 16:27:51 GMT -5
Let's stop using the wallet example. They're two different things entirely, and you're effectively blaming both victims. Neither crime should be tsk-tsked with a "well it's your own fault."
If a woman wants to post a picture of herself that she likes, there's absolutely no fault in that regardless what she is wearing. No woman sends a message that says "don't respect me as a person" unless they're holding a sign with those exact words. Otherwise, the fault is on the person misreading the message for being totally socially inept and thinking any sort of lewd come-on is appropriate.
Girls or guys posting pictures of themselves possibly celebrating the way that they look - totally fine.
Creepy girls or guys sending creepy messages to them because they're creeps - creepy and in no way justifiable.
I love this forum, but this thread is approaching last summer's "Are men or women more unfairly portrayed in the media" thread with a poll where men won by a landslide in terms facepalming.
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Post by Confused Mark Wahlberg on Jul 26, 2012 16:49:45 GMT -5
Someone told me a long time ago, "What you do does not affect what I do".
If someone posts some pic like that, their motives are not my concern.
It does not mean I should say whatever I want to them.
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kidglov3s
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Wants her Shot
Who is Tiger Maskooo?
Posts: 15,870
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Post by kidglov3s on Jul 26, 2012 16:52:29 GMT -5
I think if you take a picture with your tits hanging out and post it online you shouldn't be shocked if people make sexual comments.
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CaptainFall
Samurai Cop
'Fascinating is the word of the day'
Posts: 2,151
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Post by CaptainFall on Jul 26, 2012 16:52:46 GMT -5
It's when people pretend to be naive that's the frustrating thing.
For some photos you have to anticipate that some guy is going to write a creepy message, yeah that's not cool but it might happen so if the possibility of that offends you then that don't post a picture that is likely to attract those types of comments.
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Post by Michael Coello on Jul 26, 2012 16:54:24 GMT -5
I wish people stop referring to the women as "victims", cause there's no crime or anything wrong.
Hell, most of the things posted on those walls barely count as dirty talk. I've seen worse from the Diva/Knockout threads.
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King Ghidorah
El Dandy
On Probation for Charges of two counts of Saxual Music.
How Absurd
Posts: 8,330
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Post by King Ghidorah on Jul 26, 2012 16:56:07 GMT -5
Let's stop using the wallet example. They're two different things entirely, and you're effectively blaming both victims. Neither crime should be tsk-tsked with a "well it's your own fault." If a woman wants to post a picture of herself that she likes, there's absolutely no fault in that regardless what she is wearing. No woman sends a message that says "don't respect me as a person" unless they're holding a sign with those exact words. Otherwise, the fault is on the person misreading the message for being totally socially inept and thinking any sort of lewd come-on is appropriate. Girls or guys posting pictures of themselves possibly celebrating the way that they look - totally fine. Creepy girls or guys sending creepy messages to them because they're creeps - creepy and in no way justifiable. I love this forum, but this thread is approaching last summer's "Are men or women more unfairly portrayed in the media" thread with a poll where men won by a landslide in terms facepalming. Misreading the message? Showing her cleavage with no pants on, how are you supposed to read that? No one is putting fault on her, what I'm saying is, if you ignore all the safety measures in uploading a picture *she could easily make it so only her friends and family could see them* She should not complain when dudes comment on it. Whatever gross messages and request she received we have to take her word for it. I'm not talking about objectifying women or anything like that, what I'm saying is she should take responsibility for her own actions. Not back out when someone else goads her into commenting about it.
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Post by RedSmile on Jul 26, 2012 16:56:49 GMT -5
When it comes to unwanted attention on facebook, I was under the impression that you as a facebook user, controlled who you added as a friend, who gets to see which photos, Wall posts, etc. So, yeah there is some blame to go all around. Don't add strangers to your facebook, don't let strangers see your pictures.
Douchebags, don't care that they are acting like douchebags. They don't care that they are offensive, often times that is the whole "joke". At the same time there are people who can't wait to be the victim. Especially attention whores.
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The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
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Post by The Line on Jul 26, 2012 17:00:49 GMT -5
am I the only one who can see that she's wearing shorts(I could be wrong and they could be underwear, but they look a helluva lot like shorts to me)? Just the combination of really short shorts, a long shirt, and her leaning forward gives the illusion of her being pantless. I mean, I'm very likely wrong, but i'm just saying what I see.
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Post by Michael Coello on Jul 26, 2012 17:03:35 GMT -5
Really, someone has to tell me what was so shockingly offensive in the first and second screengrab.
Saying someone has sexy lips is not sleezy or leading to anything. Even the "nice boobs" one, especially being dead center of the camera (ie where the target for the camera was pointed at in the first place).
If it was near pornographic stuff that detailed what they wanted to do, yeah, I might get it. But getting outraged over stuff like "You look perfect" is just silly.
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Post by Cela on Jul 26, 2012 17:04:18 GMT -5
What's the point of the belt?
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The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
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Post by The Line on Jul 26, 2012 17:07:15 GMT -5
Really, someone has to tell me what was so shockingly offensive in the first and second screengrab. Saying someone has sexy lips is not sleezy or leading to anything. Even the "nice boobs" one, especially being dead center of the camera (ie where the target for the camera was pointed at in the first place). If it was near pornographic stuff that detailed what they wanted to do, yeah, I might get it. But getting outraged over stuff like "You look perfect" is just silly. based on what I gathered, it sounds like she received some private messages which may or may not have been lewd(even though I disagree with KG's overall sentiment, he is right about the fact that all we can do is take the picture girl's word for it).
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theryno665
Grimlock
wants a title underneath the stars
Kinda Homeless
Posts: 13,571
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Post by theryno665 on Jul 26, 2012 17:11:44 GMT -5
Her eyes are weird.
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Post by "Cane Dewey" Johnson on Jul 26, 2012 17:13:15 GMT -5
Misreading the message? Showing her cleavage with no pants on, how are you supposed to read that? It's the reason things like the "Slut Walks" have taken off, to show that no matter how a woman is dressed, it doesn't mean she necessarily wants male attention. It may just mean that she likes the clothes and how they look. If a woman wants to post a picture of herself that she likes, there's absolutely no fault in that regardless what she is wearing. No woman sends a message that says "don't respect me as a person" unless they're holding a sign with those exact words. Otherwise, the fault is on the person misreading the message for being totally socially inept and thinking any sort of lewd come-on is appropriate. Otherwise, the fault is on the person misreading the message for being totally socially inept
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