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Post by 'Smart' Mark Poindexter on Dec 21, 2005 21:40:25 GMT -5
Joe has mastered every Metal Gear game with a single firm B*tchslap.
Joe created the internet,and then the next day adware.
Joe created television so that one day all man kind could watch him.
Joe killed disco
Samoa Joe is prominately featured in the new 'Platinum Director's Edition' of Jaws,Raiders of the Lost Ark,and E.T,ole kicking the shark,coming out of the ark and bitchslapping the heads off a bunch of people,and in a scene that is sure to win an academy award resurecting the Alien, curing a young Drew Berrymore of alcoolism,and Musclebusting anyone in a scene with him for more then 5 seconds.
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Johnny Danger (Godz)
Wade Wilson
loves him some cavity searches
Lord Xeen's going to kill you.
Posts: 27,736
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Post by Johnny Danger (Godz) on Dec 21, 2005 21:51:39 GMT -5
The reason our troops cannot find the WMD's in the middle east is because Joe already did. He also ate every last one of them.
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Klutch
Unicron
Not so good at that whole noticing thing.
Posts: 3,115
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Post by Klutch on Dec 21, 2005 21:54:47 GMT -5
The Boogeyman checks his closet for Samoa Joe before he goes to sleep.
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Heart of Markness
Trap-Jaw
Amarillo Chevy Dealers love nothing more than to see your smiling faces during Summer Closeout!
Posts: 474
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Post by Heart of Markness on Dec 21, 2005 23:00:12 GMT -5
samoa joe once gave birth to haystack calhoon and andre the giant at the same time, then powerbombed them into twenty + years ago.
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Post by HMARK Center on Dec 21, 2005 23:31:40 GMT -5
He then used his arm to squeeze CM Punk's head off, much like a crab claw, which in turn caused CM Punk's arm to clench and stiffen and cause the other guy's (I think I know who it is, but I dont wanna risk getting beauty slapped if I mistaken them) head to burst from the blood pressure. Joe's hand signal indicates 2 deaths It's Homicide. If you look in the mirror and say Joe's name three times, he'll appear and kill your entire family. On the bright side, you'll get to see Joe live without paying for a ticket.
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Post by plushtar on Dec 21, 2005 23:33:45 GMT -5
Samoa Joe's kicks send shockwaves that alter time. One shockwave caused Sid to crap his pants.
Samoa Joe caused a delay in Friday the 13th films. How, you ask, not even Jason Voorhees himself could withstand a musclebuster.
Samoa Joe is the only person to beat the Friday the 13th game, as he gave a musclebuster to Jason to teach him a lesson.
Ever wonder why Final Fantasy characters never come back for a direct sequel, Sephiroth, Golbez, Kefka, etc. have committed suicide rather than face a Samoa Joe Limit break. Trust me, this is worse than any musclebuster, or enzeguri kick ever seen.
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EvilMasterBetty, Esq.
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Bird...Birdie...birdie......Tiger...Tiger Tiger.....
R2C2 Reporting for duty
Posts: 17,355
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Post by EvilMasterBetty, Esq. on Dec 21, 2005 23:36:29 GMT -5
Samoa Joe is your Judge and Executioner. He Ole Kicked the jury after they tried to form their own opinion.
Every Single Jean Claude Van Dam movie is actually based on an actuall event from Samoa Joe's life. in fact, Van Dam is actually made up of Joe's dead skin cells, blood, and urine.
the Story of Samson in the Bible is actually of Joe. The reason his hair was cut was not because of Deliliah, but because the last time his hair was long, the Dinosaurs went extinct.
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Phoenix
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
He's back and better than ever!
Fear The Desecrator
Posts: 18,958
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Post by Phoenix on Dec 21, 2005 23:50:22 GMT -5
It was not in fact David that slayed Goliath. It was a stiff Yakusa kick from Joe that slayed the giant in one shot.
In the beginning there was God. God created a perfect being in his Image and named him Joe. Joe then musclebustered God and then there was only Joe left.
Joe in fact was created and not born. The mere touching of his skin and a human uterus would cause the whole female body implode
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Post by G✇JI☈A on Dec 21, 2005 23:52:39 GMT -5
Samoa Joe was supposed to be in 'Destroy All Monsters' but Godzilla, Mothra, Gorosaurus, Angilas and Rodan refused to work with him out of fear of their lives so King Ghidrah was cast in Joe's Place.
But Joe was Pissed. That he kicked Ishirô Honda in the lungs and Ishirô Honda never made another decent Giant monster film ever again.
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Post by viscera on Dec 21, 2005 23:53:01 GMT -5
The classic " Eat at Joes " thing was inspired after Samoa Joe renamed all the restraunts in the world Joe's... then musclebustered anyone who tried to compete with them.
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Post by thehatman on Dec 21, 2005 23:57:39 GMT -5
Samoa Joe fought the law. Unlike the p****y Clash, Joe won. Calm down, Clash fans. It was a joke. So did the Dead Kennedys, but they won BECAUSE of Samoa Joe. Samoa Joe once killed Superman, by Olé Kicking him to hell and back. They were so scared of Joe that they changed his name to Doomsday and brought back Superman. And then stuff happened. Samoa Joe rocks you like a hurricane. He was the inspiration behind that hit by the Scorpions.
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Heart of Markness
Trap-Jaw
Amarillo Chevy Dealers love nothing more than to see your smiling faces during Summer Closeout!
Posts: 474
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Post by Heart of Markness on Dec 21, 2005 23:59:21 GMT -5
samoa joe screwed bret (figuratively and literally)
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Post by Z-A Sandbaggin' Son of a b!%@h on Dec 22, 2005 1:41:57 GMT -5
Joe doesn't have aids...but he gives it to people anyway.
this is the best thread ever...and if you think otherwise, Joe will eat you and call your mother bad names.
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Post by Deus Ex Machina on Dec 22, 2005 8:54:39 GMT -5
Samoa Joe invented water so he could glisten on his way to the ring. That life came to be as a result was just a bonus.
Once, and only once, Samoa Joe sneezed. The result has been since been refered to as The Ice Age.
If you make fun of Samoa Joe's dye job, he will make you a die job.
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Johnny Danger (Godz)
Wade Wilson
loves him some cavity searches
Lord Xeen's going to kill you.
Posts: 27,736
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Post by Johnny Danger (Godz) on Dec 22, 2005 10:10:40 GMT -5
Samoa Joe was supposed to be in 'Destroy All Monsters' but Godzilla, Mothra, Gorosaurus, Angilas and Rodan refused to work with him out of fear of their lives so King Ghidrah was cast in Joe's Place. But Joe was Pissed. That he kicked Ishirô Honda in the lungs and Ishirô Honda never made another decent Giant monster film ever again. Are you telling me Joe is to blame for Godzilla's Revenge? .....great, thanks Joe....
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Post by Brother Ike: Thread Killer on Dec 22, 2005 10:53:15 GMT -5
this tread > All other crap fads
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bigHEADinc
El Dandy
Wanted Conway Twitty as a special title.
lest we forget...
Posts: 7,711
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Post by bigHEADinc on Dec 22, 2005 11:14:06 GMT -5
Scientists discovered that the Easter Island giant head statues aren't actually carved out of volcanic rock, Joe just had some bad mexican food the day before...
Because of the incident above, Joe cried into Mexico's water supply, damning them to have the trots whenever they quenched their thirsts...
The statue of David was an actual man who froze in fear at the sight of Samoa Joe...
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CM Putnam
Trap-Jaw
"It's funny how the colors of the real world only seem really real when you viddy them on a screen."
Posts: 252
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Post by CM Putnam on Dec 22, 2005 12:03:27 GMT -5
King Kong did not fall off the Empire State Building because airplanes shot him off. It was actually suicide because he was afraid to face Samoa Joe one on one.
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bigHEADinc
El Dandy
Wanted Conway Twitty as a special title.
lest we forget...
Posts: 7,711
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Post by bigHEADinc on Dec 22, 2005 12:06:07 GMT -5
There used to only be 49 states... Then Samoa Joe got into a wrestling match with our boy John "Earthquake" Tenta in California... One Top Rope Musclebuster later, Hawaii was born...
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Post by HMARK Center on Dec 22, 2005 13:46:29 GMT -5
Thousands of years ago, Samoa Joe asked a druid, "Druid, what time is it?". Trembling in fear, the druid answered "Many apologies, mighty Joe, but time has not been invented yet". Not flinching, Joe ripped each of the druid's limbs off, using them as tools to construct Stonehendge. Joe then said "11:30, b***h.", and fed the rest of the druid's body to the people in the English countryside. This tale has since been retold, but under the title "Robin Hood".
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