Phosphor Glow
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Is a real girl!
Posts: 19,870
|
Post by Phosphor Glow on Jul 30, 2014 22:32:40 GMT -5
Haven't heard the thread at all, but I'll just say this: "Women" don't want anything any more than "men" want something. Women are, y'know, people.
I know, it's a crazy concept.
|
|
|
Post by Kevin Hamilton on Jul 30, 2014 22:53:59 GMT -5
Though Gloria Estefan does like bad boys:
|
|
Brood Lone Wolf Funker
Ozymandius
Got fined anyway. Possibly a Moose
James Franco is the white Donald Glover
Posts: 61,866
|
Post by Brood Lone Wolf Funker on Jul 30, 2014 22:57:07 GMT -5
Inner Circle likes bad boys
|
|
|
Post by Kevin Hamilton on Jul 30, 2014 23:00:03 GMT -5
Alice has decided to change his approach entirely:
|
|
Derk!
Hank Scorpio
Yeah, "looks like."
Posts: 5,066
|
Post by Derk! on Jul 30, 2014 23:20:44 GMT -5
Most of the women I see around me, tend to gravitate towards the people who will treat them like shit. These women complain about said treatment, yet do nothing about it. They also give these people chance after chance after chance.
Meanwhile, I would love to just even be given the time of day...But, that won't happen until I work on my self-confidence. It's laughably bad...
|
|
|
Post by Orange on Jul 30, 2014 23:54:08 GMT -5
The problem isn't that that hot chick would rather date a douchebag than you, a "nice guy"; no woman has ever said "gee, you know, I just hate nice peole!" It's simply that "nice guys" are frequently doormats who think that letting a woman (or anybody, for that manner, but that's too broad for this conversation) walk all over them is what being nice is about. You know the lyrics to The Offspring's "Self Esteem"? "The more you suffer, the more it shows you really care"? That's what nice guys think being nice is all about. They have no sense of confidence, and, like it or not, the "douchebags" frequently have confidence that women, and people in general, are attracted to.
I know because I used to be a "nice guy". Now, I never went as far to proclaim myself to be a nice guy to people, but I had everything else down; pitiful self-confidence, horrid people skills, the ability to be a doormat etc. etc. It was all there for me.
So why wasn't I getting the girl? I mean, I was nice and would do anything for a woman while asking for nothing in return; isn't that what love is all about?!
It's because I didn't carry myself like somebody who deserved respect. My fashion was a pitiful mess, my body language didn't exactly exude confidence, and the quality of being a doormat isn't appealing to anybody, let alone somebody who might enter a romantic relationship with you.
It wasn't until I began to work on my self-confidence that I realized this basic thing; PEOPLE LOVE CONFIDENCE. No, nice guys, it's not that you're simply too nice for these women; it's because you lack confidence that those "douchebags" have. The douchebag is secure with himself and carries himself like he couldn't give a f***, but in a good way. He's comfortable with himself and he carries himself with pride and respect. THAT'S what women, and people, are drawn to. That's the quality you need to have, period. Confidence will help you everywhere in life, and you better believe it'll help you with women.
Being nice is absolutely a quality... quality to have. People like niceness; people don't like doormats because doormats don't deserve to be treated with respect.
So, in closing, nice guys don't finish last; clingy, overbearing doormats finish last. Confidence is NOT easy to acquire, and I'm not some f***ing master of confidence over here, but I'm working on it. Luckily, confidence is a trait that can be learned, and if you're wondering why "bitches" are always passing by you, the "nice guy" for the "douchebag", look inward and up your confidence game.
|
|
Toxik916
Hank Scorpio
Sacramento Proud
Posts: 6,207
|
Post by Toxik916 on Jul 31, 2014 0:09:47 GMT -5
And Orange just killed this thread. Bravo sir, nobody will top this post.
One thing I've learned is that nobody wants to be with someone that nobody else wants. If you aren't desirable to others why would I lock you down now when you when you can be obtained anytime I want?
|
|
ibdude
Don Corleone
Posts: 1,706
|
Post by ibdude on Jul 31, 2014 1:36:23 GMT -5
Yeah I'm with Orange and Toxik916 when they say confidence is key. Before you try to get into a relationship with anybody make sure you love yourself first. Whitney Houston said it best, "The greatest love of all is inside of me". Don't be a doormat, don't be a punk-ass bitch, don't try to please everybody, don't try for everyone's approval of your life decisions, most of all f*** what everybody else thinks of you.
At the age of 24 I finally realized all of the aforementioned things in the previous passage. I used to be and do all of things growing up. Now don't get me wrong I'm still working on myself, but these are things I've realized going through life and I kinda wanted to share it with anyone this might be of help to.
|
|
|
Post by oliveh20 on Jul 31, 2014 2:09:10 GMT -5
Most of the women I see around me, tend to gravitate towards the people who will treat them like shit. These women complain about said treatment, yet do nothing about it. They also give these people chance after chance after chance. Meanwhile, I would love to just even be given the time of day...But, that won't happen until I work on my self-confidence. It's laughably bad... You, sir, are a classic "Nice Guy"
|
|
nate5054
Hank Scorpio
Lucky to be alive in the Chris Jericho Era
Posts: 7,011
|
Post by nate5054 on Jul 31, 2014 3:04:29 GMT -5
I just take from this forum and the internet in general that the so-called "nice guy" gets lumped in with the asshole. In my definition a nice guy is just that, a nice guy. People are really misunderstanding this term. 'Nice guy' doesn't just mean a guy who is nice, it's a neologism referring to a segment of men - often also Men's Rights Activists - who are nice to women and are the shoulder to lean on when they complain about their asshole boyfriends, but only so that they can then attempt to sleep with that girl later when she is dumped by or dumps that 'bad boy' boyfriend. They consider their selling point to be 'I'm so much nicer than her boyfriend, why WOULDN'T she go out with me?' and showing a sense of entitlement over the fact that girls will choose people that are not them, even though they are 'nice.' They also tend to turn on these girls when they turn them down, because how dare that girl have the hots for the bad boy and not for this guy she thought was a friend who actually gives a shit about her? Maybe. To this day I always wondered why women confide in men, even if they are friends, about their problems with their boyfriends. Men don't seem to be well suited for that role due to the innate jealousy and attraction that men (well straight men) find towards women. I learned to just not accept that role and told them to complain to their women friends.
|
|
nate5054
Hank Scorpio
Lucky to be alive in the Chris Jericho Era
Posts: 7,011
|
Post by nate5054 on Jul 31, 2014 3:11:52 GMT -5
Haven't heard the thread at all, but I'll just say this: "Women" don't want anything any more than "men" want something. Women are, y'know, people. I know, it's a crazy concept. I'd wager that a far larger majority of men would be happy with just having sex with women compared to women, who tend to want a relationship with it. And that's the general problem (yes, I hate making this disclaimer but on this site especially it seems to have to be made...this is a generalization, yes, I realize it's not 100% true 100% of the time) in what men and women want from each other, especially the younger variety. Now that I'm in my mid 30s sex isn't something I always think about (now I care about being with someone who I won't be bother being around and someone who will make a good mother for my children), but it sure was in my late teens and most of my 20s. Bill Maher once said about sex that for men it's too hard to get, and for women it's too easy. The average looking man would have to be worth billions and run the world to get most women to sleep with him. What does the average looking woman have to do to get most men to sleep with her? Her hair.
|
|
nate5054
Hank Scorpio
Lucky to be alive in the Chris Jericho Era
Posts: 7,011
|
Post by nate5054 on Jul 31, 2014 3:19:58 GMT -5
The one hope I'll give all the "nice guys" out there is that this effect where the women hold the cards tends to reverse itself later on in years. Many women get older, lose some of their attractiveness (or what their perception of how attractive they are is), and become "desperate" due to their perceived loss of attractiveness. This is compounded in women who want to have kids and fear that their time is coming up for that sooner than later.
So perhaps the "nice guys" can catch those women later, especially if they have a bit of financial independence. That being said, unless there's a real attraction with both parties and more importantly, a real sense of being able to get along, it will probably end up in disaster down the road. Me and my fiance have our ups and downs, but in general we like being around each other. It seems like a simple concept, but without that it's hard to live together and have anything more than a casual relationship.
|
|
Derk!
Hank Scorpio
Yeah, "looks like."
Posts: 5,066
|
Post by Derk! on Jul 31, 2014 7:34:38 GMT -5
Most of the women I see around me, tend to gravitate towards the people who will treat them like shit. These women complain about said treatment, yet do nothing about it. They also give these people chance after chance after chance. Meanwhile, I would love to just even be given the time of day...But, that won't happen until I work on my self-confidence. It's laughably bad... You, sir, are a classic "Nice Guy" If you say so. I don't feel entitled to shit. Nor do I feel that anybody owes me anything just because I'm "nice". I'm actually quite aware of my shortcomings.
|
|
|
Post by Kevin Hamilton on Jul 31, 2014 11:09:34 GMT -5
"You take yourself out of the game. You start talking to them about em about puppy dogs and ice cream, of course it ends up on the friendship tip."
|
|
Perd
Patti Mayonnaise
Leslie needs to butt out for fear of receiving The Bunghole Buster
Posts: 31,952
Member is Online
|
Post by Perd on Jul 31, 2014 11:19:13 GMT -5
As I take all my cues from Road House, my approach is: Be nice. Until it's time to not be nice.
|
|
|
Post by King Boo on Jul 31, 2014 11:27:25 GMT -5
Though Gloria Estefan does like bad boys: why the hell is she with the cast of cats?
|
|
Mozenrath
FANatic
Foppery and Whim
Speedy Speed Boy
Posts: 121,047
|
Post by Mozenrath on Jul 31, 2014 11:36:54 GMT -5
Most of the women I see around me, tend to gravitate towards the people who will treat them like shit. These women complain about said treatment, yet do nothing about it. They also give these people chance after chance after chance. Meanwhile, I would love to just even be given the time of day...But, that won't happen until I work on my self-confidence. It's laughably bad... Something to keep in mind is that people, male or female, LOVE to bitch. Look at any given thread, and ones with a negative slant to it often get many more posts in them, since we often find it easier to articulate negative emotions, or have more desire to get them out in the open, to vent about our frustrations. Sure, it's fun to tell people about something cool that happened to us, but that's almost never going to get the level of passion that a solid bitch-fit will garner. Just because someone complains about their significant other a lot, it does not necessarily mean that they want out, and somewhere, the guy is just as likely to be bitching about her to his friends. Like attracts like, and on that same note, many of the women who consistently find themselves in unhealthy relationships are themselves prone to making toxic relationship decisions. They are doing you a favor by not dating you, in such a case. You are almost always better off single than in a relationship that sucks. There are many, many women who are not confident, and while I cannot promise you that there's someone for everybody, I can say that reevaluating how you meet women and what sort of women you look at as potential partners can only be a good thing. That said, something more people need to know, and I'm not trying to single you out, is that people are attracted to people who are enjoying their life. No woman will EVER make your life good if you are otherwise miserable, and while misery loves company, failure has no friends. Focus on what you want out of life and some of the rest will fall into place. You will meet more people, get more confident, and just overall be much happier and complete as a person.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 31, 2014 13:27:35 GMT -5
The problem isn't that that hot chick would rather date a douchebag than you, a "nice guy"; no woman has ever said "gee, you know, I just hate nice peole!" It's simply that "nice guys" are frequently doormats who think that letting a woman (or anybody, for that manner, but that's too broad for this conversation) walk all over them is what being nice is about. You know the lyrics to The Offspring's "Self Esteem"? "The more you suffer, the more it shows you really care"? That's what nice guys think being nice is all about. They have no sense of confidence, and, like it or not, the "douchebags" frequently have confidence that women, and people in general, are attracted to. I know because I used to be a "nice guy". Now, I never went as far to proclaim myself to be a nice guy to people, but I had everything else down; pitiful self-confidence, horrid people skills, the ability to be a doormat etc. etc. It was all there for me. So why wasn't I getting the girl? I mean, I was nice and would do anything for a woman while asking for nothing in return; isn't that what love is all about?! It's because I didn't carry myself like somebody who deserved respect. My fashion was a pitiful mess, my body language didn't exactly exude confidence, and the quality of being a doormat isn't appealing to anybody, let alone somebody who might enter a romantic relationship with you. It wasn't until I began to work on my self-confidence that I realized this basic thing; PEOPLE LOVE CONFIDENCE. No, nice guys, it's not that you're simply too nice for these women; it's because you lack confidence that those "douchebags" have. The douchebag is secure with himself and carries himself like he couldn't give a f***, but in a good way. He's comfortable with himself and he carries himself with pride and respect. THAT'S what women, and people, are drawn to. That's the quality you need to have, period. Confidence will help you everywhere in life, and you better believe it'll help you with women. Being nice is absolutely a quality... quality to have. People like niceness; people don't like doormats because doormats don't deserve to be treated with respect. So, in closing, nice guys don't finish last; clingy, overbearing doormats finish last. Confidence is NOT easy to acquire, and I'm not some f***ing master of confidence over here, but I'm working on it. Luckily, confidence is a trait that can be learned, and if you're wondering why "bitches" are always passing by you, the "nice guy" for the "douchebag", look inward and up your confidence game. This post needs to be posted every time we have this thread
|
|
agent817
Fry's dog Seymour
Doesn't Know Whose Ring It Is
Posts: 21,164
|
Post by agent817 on Jul 31, 2014 14:17:09 GMT -5
While I agree with that one post, the thing that always puzzles me is how some people say "Got to have confidence" or "Be confident" like it's so easy to get that away at the snap of a finger.
|
|
ibdude
Don Corleone
Posts: 1,706
|
Post by ibdude on Jul 31, 2014 15:43:47 GMT -5
While I agree with that one post, the thing that always puzzles me is how some people say "Got to have confidence" or "Be confident" like it's so easy to get that away at the snap of a finger. It's not. It's one if those things that you just have to work on. It comes natural to some, while others like me it doesn't . You just gotta look within and do it.
|
|