quote bobby heenan

[lws]

this is a thread for quoting bobby heenan

during raven/benoit, souled out 1998, after a strong chair shot

tony schiavone: a hard shot, sending benoit back to canada!
dusty rhodes: and wherever raven's from!
bobby heenan: probably a tree, right?

[jp49er80]

Repo man! Last week he repoed his own car! He's nuts!

[Boo!]

Dec 22, 2014 5:53:05 GMT -5 jp49er80 said:

Repo man! Last week he repoed his own car! He's nuts!

Okerlund: 5 years ago he had my mother-in-law's
Heenan: 4 years ago everyone had your mother-in-law



*Miss Elizabeth is being interviewed by Mean Gene



Monsoon: Wow. Look at that, Brain. Beautiful

Heenan: I dunno, he's kinda bald.

[Cranjis McBasketball]

Gorilla as Taker enters: Always that eerie smell of formaldehyde when he's around.
Heenan: I thought that was your cologne! You buy that cheap stuff all the time so you can get a free comb.

Ray Combs: I think a few of the Hart woman could take you, Bobby.
Heenan: They can take me any place if they have a nice car.

That last line actually saved me from a few schoolyard fights, when guys say things like, "Let's go!" or "I'm gonna take you out". No one wants to fight after you lay that line on them, it's much harder to fight when the aggressor is suddenly laughing.

[Boo!]

Heenan: Boy can Tito's sister belt one out!
Monsoon: Will you stop?
Heenan: That's Arriba McEntire
Monsoon: It is not!
Heenan: Wooooooo!

..when that's the opening line of commentary to a show, you know it's going to be a good one.

[Boo!]

Heenan: How about this Monsoon; if Sheri doesn't win I'll buy you lunch
Monsoon: You? Pay for lunch? I'd like to see that
Heenan: Come on Sheri, I've got a whopper riding on this
Monsoon: Ha!

[jmule]

Heenan: "ya know, I should be managing the nasty boys"

Monsoon: "well why don't you go talk to that runt?"

Heenan: "who that pipsque--uh jimmy hart?"

Monsoon: "what?!"

Heenan: "what? I didn't say anything it was the guy behind me.."

Monsoon: "pipsqueak?"

Heenan: "the guy behind me said that!"

[Cranjis McBasketball]

Heenan: You know, I remember when I was champion Monsoon.
Gorilla: Champion of what?!
Heenan: The neighborhood. Had the prettiest date on the whole block that month.

Monsoon: In all my years, I've never seen anyone get pinned by a side-headlock.
Heenan: I've beat a few people with it.
Monsoon: Where??? In your dreams???
Heenan: I can beat a man a million different ways. I had a guy give up one time during instructions.

GONG!!! [Arena goes dark] Taker is showing up.

Vince: Bobby Heenan! Get out from under there!
Heenan: Are you wearing swim fins?

[Deleted]

I remember him commentating on a midget battle royal..."It's like a riot in a day care center."

[The Sam]

(Monsoon and Heenan are signing hotdog buns)
Heenan: That's G-O-R-I-
Monsoon: WILL YOU STOP!? Now hurry up and sign your buns.
Heenan: I would need a mirror to do that.

(The 3 Doinks are going through the crowd)
Here's how you tell the Doinks apart. The first Doink (Matt Borne) is left handed, the second Doink (Steve Keirn) is right handed and the third Doink (Steve Lombardi) goes both ways.

[thegatewaydrug]

Gorilla: I think you should see your occulist.
Brain: There's nothing wrong with my feet!

[Crappler El 0 M]

Dusty Rhodes: Hulk Hogan is in the building!
Tony: You're damn right, he is!
Dusty: Go get 'em, Hulkster!
Bobby: Yeah, but whose side is he on?
Dusty: Go...What are you talkin' about?!?!

[Deleted]

"Now remember this, when a man sticks his hand out to you, you shake it. Then kick him really hard when he's not looking."

Bobby: Fatu is bye-bye!
Monsoon: Who eliminated him, Brain? There's so much going on!
Bobby: I think he threw himself out, I don't know.
Monsoon: Threw himself out? NOBODY WOULD DO THAT!

"A friend in need is a pest."

[Blindkarevik]

* Royal Rumble '92... Roddy Piper saves Flair *
Heenan: Thank you, Piper! I'm sorry for everything I've ever said! It's a kilt, not a skirt!
* Piper attacks Flair moments later *
Heenan: You no good skirt-wearing freak! It's not a kilt, it's a skirt!

[Giul T.]

"YES! YES YES YES YES YES YES, HE DID IT, I TOLD YOU MONSOON". Some great Heel celebrating there.

[chrom]

It's four on four, you know Duggan's looking over there and seeing eight.

Remeber the old sayin' what the hell use the bell!

[Hit Girl]

Haku: "Ko Haku toku ingoa i te motu o Tonga. Ko ahau te tangata whatoto ngaio. Ka turaki ahau hoariri katoa te hunga e tu i ahau i mua i, hoki ahau i te maona teitei taea kore nei e patua. E ahau he wairua pakanga me te hiahia e kore e tineia ki te riro. Kahore he tangata e taea tu ki ahau. Ake e taea e kore e tetahi kia koropiko ahau ki a ratou. Ka whawhai ahau a taea noatia te mate!!"

Heenan: "I asked him if he feared anyone in the World Wrestling Federation. He said "no".

[Sickness Rising]

Bobby: Two ugly people looking at each other. That's fun.

[hargh]

"COLLEGE!"

[Deleted]

Not really a quote so much as an appreciatio, but I just finished watching Clash of the Champions 28 where a mysterious masked man ran out and hit Hogan in the knee with a lead pipe. As they discussed the identity of the masked assailant, Heenan slipped in that he executed it "perfectly". Later on when the assaulant attacked again, Heenan remarked that the second attack was the "ultimate insult".

Just thought it was brilliant how Bobby planted those suggestions for the identity of the attacker.