Injustice45
Fry's dog Seymour
Consider me the Athena/Yoshimitsu of Avatars and Signatures.
Posts: 22,259
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Post by Injustice45 on Aug 28, 2016 10:12:09 GMT -5
Michael Cole. Yes, everything Michael Cole ever said.
JBL spouting out facts about wrestlers as if we give a shit. For example, he constantly mentions Brock Lesnar's stats from his NCAA days, and pretty much what Sting did in WCW last year.
Commentators mixing up the members of a tag team, even when they don't look anything alike.
Talking about shit that has nothing to do with the match instead of... calling the match.
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StuntGranny®
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Not Actually a Granny
Posts: 16,099
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Post by StuntGranny® on Aug 28, 2016 10:17:05 GMT -5
I f***ing LOATHE the whole, "I talked to so-and-so earlier today..." thing. I could type an essay on how much I hate this.
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Post by IgnahtaSempria on Aug 28, 2016 10:53:26 GMT -5
I just remembered one. Cole would basically call any submission CM Punk did an "Anaconda Vice." No Cole, that's a Koji Clutch. It looks nothing like the Anaconda Vice. He made that same mistake at least 3 times to my recollection.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Aug 28, 2016 10:54:56 GMT -5
Sting debuts in what should have been sold as one of the most shocking things to ever happen in wrestling, yet JBL is ready with his Wikipedia cheat sheet to list all of Sting's accomplishments mere seconds after he walks out.
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Post by Vice honcho room temperature on Aug 28, 2016 11:05:04 GMT -5
During a multi-person match when the announcer will say "(Wrestler) has a one in (three or four or however many people are in the match) chance of winning." Uh, that's not how odds work. It's not a lottery. It presupposes that every individual's ability is equal and evenly rated. Scott Steiner taught us differently
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Post by "Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay on Aug 28, 2016 12:04:43 GMT -5
I just remembered one. Cole would basically call any submission CM Punk did an "Anaconda Vice." No Cole, that's a Koji Clutch. It looks nothing like the Anaconda Vice. He made that same mistake at least 3 times to my recollection. He miscalled that move so often that because he didn't use it much in WWE and I didn't follow him on the indies, I don't actually know what that move looks like.
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Chiral
Salacious Crumb
Posts: 74,077
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Post by Chiral on Aug 28, 2016 12:20:10 GMT -5
I f***ing LOATHE the whole, "I talked to so-and-so earlier today..." thing. I could type an essay on how much I hate this. It's SO BAD. Not only is it another case of telling not showing, apparently everyone Cole talks to earlier in the day has the exact same style of speaking. "I was talking to Seth in the back and he said 'Listen. I'm not out there to make friends. I'm out there to win championships'." So they're completely pointless, they're not giving us any unique information or character details, they're just telling us filler sentences like they were plucked out of a commentary script for one of the games, and delivered just as quarter-assed.
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Bub (BLM)
Patti Mayonnaise
advocates duck on rodent violence
Fed. Up.
Posts: 37,742
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Post by Bub (BLM) on Aug 28, 2016 12:26:38 GMT -5
"Shoots the half"...Michael Cole, shut up. I know what that means, and you're bullshitting us 99% of the time. Josh used to be an absolute pain with this. I don't know if he still does it but I imagine he does. It started with Tazz. He began using that phrase when he was a commentator because he actually understood wrestling and used the term properly. Then Cole and Josh just started aping him and ran it into the ground.
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Post by Andy Martin on Aug 28, 2016 12:34:15 GMT -5
Mauro's constant yelling. Wish he'd be more like when he calls boxing/MMA.
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Post by Lazy peon on Aug 28, 2016 12:52:16 GMT -5
"Knocked off" instead of pinned/defeated. Sadly, it isn't just Cole who says it. I hate this so much. It makes the loser seem so insignificant.
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sebulba
Team Rocket
Glass ceiling?!! What glass ceiling?
Posts: 940
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Post by sebulba on Aug 28, 2016 14:31:12 GMT -5
For me, it's that idiot Michael Cole calling any two or three on one beatdown 'THE NUMBERS GAME!!" and Mauro's apparent hatred of the letter 'E' as he always seems to call it "the double you double you-universe" It really pisses me off for some reason....
Don't even get me started on Otunga and JBL.....
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sebulba
Team Rocket
Glass ceiling?!! What glass ceiling?
Posts: 940
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Post by sebulba on Aug 28, 2016 14:32:08 GMT -5
,
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H-Virus
Hank Scorpio
A Real Contagious Experience
Posts: 5,964
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Post by H-Virus on Aug 28, 2016 14:53:24 GMT -5
I just remembered one. Cole would basically call any submission CM Punk did an "Anaconda Vice." No Cole, that's a Koji Clutch. It looks nothing like the Anaconda Vice. He made that same mistake at least 3 times to my recollection. Not just Punk, either. There was a long stretch of time (years, it felt like) where he constantly called Dolph Ziggler's Fameasser the Zig-Zag, even though it's impossible to confuse one for the other. And more recently, he's can't seem to figure out which one of Sami Zayn's high-impact moves is the Blue Thunder Bomb. Also: "She calls that the Rear View! Just her, though! Nobody else calls it that! Not even me, even though I literally just did!"
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Post by The Tim Duncan Experience on Aug 28, 2016 15:10:21 GMT -5
I just remembered one. Cole would basically call any submission CM Punk did an "Anaconda Vice." No Cole, that's a Koji Clutch. It looks nothing like the Anaconda Vice. He made that same mistake at least 3 times to my recollection. Not just Punk, either. There was a long stretch of time (years, it felt like) where he constantly called Dolph Ziggler's Fameasser the Zig-Zag, even though it's impossible to confuse one for the other. And more recently, he's can't seem to figure out which one of Sami Zayn's high-impact moves is the Blue Thunder Bomb. Also: "She calls that the Rear View! Just her, though! Nobody else calls it that! Not even me, even though I literally just did!" Its like Cole thinks the audience has Short term memory, so he's gotta remind us that Naomi, not anyone else, calls it the rear view. It's odd how week after week, JBL or Lawler doesn't just tell Cole that if the audience didnt care the first time it was called the rear view, then the audience won't care the next 1000 times he says it.
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Venti
Unicron
Posts: 3,002
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Post by Venti on Aug 28, 2016 15:53:17 GMT -5
For me, Michael Cole has made almost every surprise return lame as hell. "Oh my!" And let's not forget the stupid Wikipedia statistic reading. Makes it hard for the moment to sink in. Another one that's kind of old and obscure, is the episode of Smackdown! in 2000 where they were looking for Stone Cold all night and when he finally appears on the titantron(it was the blowing up the DX bus episode) Micheal Cole goes "King, it's Stone COOOld, it's Stone COoOOld!!" Like his voice broke and was so lame sounding. Thankfully years later he hit puberty finally and doesn't do things like that as much.
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Post by Hit Girl on Aug 28, 2016 15:58:56 GMT -5
SKULL!!!!
No Michael, the skull is the bone structure.
It's called a "head"
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Post by Main Eventer on Aug 28, 2016 16:08:46 GMT -5
JBL: "If you built a superstar from the ground up you would get Randy Orton."
"Everybody's got a plan til they get punched in the face."
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Post by Hit Girl on Aug 28, 2016 17:20:24 GMT -5
"This business"
It makes it sound like the financial services industry.
WWE should always be referred to as an organisation and wrestling as a sport. That way it makes more sense to have wrestlers competing for titles. How many "businesses" have championships?
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Post by Cieto on Aug 28, 2016 17:34:57 GMT -5
Strange one, but ive always hated the set up for commercial breaks, it rarely ever changes to the point i can always pre-predict when it will happen.
The match is 1 minute in and [insert wrestler] (usually) gets thrown to the outside whilst [insert wrestler] panders to the crowd. Then Michael Cole says " [Insert wrestler] [insert wrestler] continues.....LIVE HERE ON RAW".
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Post by Shy Guy on Aug 28, 2016 18:01:30 GMT -5
I f***ing LOATHE the whole, "I talked to so-and-so earlier today..." thing. I could type an essay on how much I hate this. challenge: 1000 words, double spaced. due friday
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