Push R Truth
Patti Mayonnaise
Unique and Special Snowflake, and a pants-less heathen.
Perpetually Constipated
Posts: 39,310
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Post by Push R Truth on Jul 16, 2018 14:43:14 GMT -5
Vignettes of Mr America training a new protege. Every video package and eventual match uses a different wrestler in the outfit every time. Or at least rotates thru different sets of wrestlers.
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Post by OVO 40 hunched over like he 80 on Jul 16, 2018 14:58:17 GMT -5
Ok putting the stuff he said aside, there's no value in Hulk Hogan being on tv.
He can't bump because his back is held together by bubblegum and paper clips.
He can't walk to the ring, he limps.
He can't cut a promo without f***ing it up.
He can't even rip off his shirt because the steroids ravaged his body.
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Post by Rudy Gobert Fadeaway on Jul 16, 2018 17:21:17 GMT -5
He does a live performance of Wanna Be In My Gang but no one wants to be in his gang and I burst out of the audience and call him an old bitch
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M.A.R.T.Z.
Tommy Wiseau
Creator of NO More Controllers - I review video game movies, usually bad ones.
Posts: 77
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Post by M.A.R.T.Z. on Jul 16, 2018 18:11:57 GMT -5
I wouldn't.
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nisidhe
Hank Scorpio
O Superman....O judge....O Mom and Dad....
Posts: 5,732
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Post by nisidhe on Jul 16, 2018 18:21:25 GMT -5
For voiceover work on video games, for brief talking-head commentary on DVDs and documentary specials, and that would be about it. Nothing live, nothing impromptu, nothing that makes him appear anything close to being what he once was. Even his likeness rights aren't worth that much anymore.
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Allie Kitsune
Crow T. Robot
Always Feelin' Foxy.
HaHa U FaLL 4 LaVa TriK
Posts: 46,202
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Post by Allie Kitsune on Jul 16, 2018 18:24:47 GMT -5
Ok putting the stuff he said aside, there's no value in Hulk Hogan being on tv. He can't bump because his back is held together by bubblegum and paper clips. He can't walk to the ring, he limps. He can't cut a promo without f***ing it up. He can't even rip off his shirt because the steroids ravaged his body. Pretty much. At most, one could interview him for Network content. But even then, 99% of what Hogan says is complete "so lost in his bullshit that he actually believes it" kind of stuff.
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Post by Final Countdown Jones on Jul 16, 2018 18:25:28 GMT -5
Have him work one of those "throw the ball and dunk me into the water" booths for charity for the rest of his life. Occasionally have him call up members of Metallica to see how long he'll keep that lie up.
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Post by BD Punk AKA SUSPENDED! on Jul 16, 2018 18:39:07 GMT -5
Pre/Post show analyst, WWE network stuff, occasional in ring promo with other legends, backstage skits.......etc. Hell, I'd have him do color commentating too. Everyone knows all 3 full time color guys (Graves/Coach/Saxton) are the absolute drizzling shits
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Post by Confused Mark Wahlberg on Jul 16, 2018 18:40:53 GMT -5
Hulk Hogan's 'Stuff That Almost Happened to me, Brother' segment:
-I almost replaced John Lennon in the Beatles jack, but that stinky Ringo vetoed me, dude -Mark Zuckerberg jack almost sold me Facebook dude, but I wasn't home to get the call, brother! -I tell you brother I played bass on 'Master of Puppets' dude but they didn't credit me jack!
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Post by RowdyRobbyPiper on Jul 16, 2018 18:49:01 GMT -5
Network documentaries/retrospectives.
Nothing on live TV where he’s in front of the live crowd. At all.
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Post by Old Jack Burton on Jul 16, 2018 18:52:08 GMT -5
Narrator recapping events before every PPV, and as the voice of the WWE in other places.
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Post by DrBackflipsHoffman on Jul 16, 2018 18:56:42 GMT -5
Fire him and hire La Parka instead
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Post by Clint Bobski on Jul 16, 2018 18:59:24 GMT -5
WWE Executive: So, we've re-signed Hulk Hogan. I thought we might get him to do a couple of talking head spots for that new "Greatest WrestleMania Matches" DVD we were talking about?
Vince: Is that it?
WWE Executive: Pretty much sir, he's officially elderly now, plus there's lots of baggage that comes with him, and politically it might be best to limit his appearances for a while...
Vince: So you DON'T think he should retire Daniel Bryan, beat AJ for the WWE Championship, then face Brock Lesnar in a title v title match at WrestleMania?
WWE Executive: Erm... no, not really sir.
Vince: You're fired...
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Post by wildojinx on Jul 16, 2018 19:02:44 GMT -5
Pre/Post show analyst, WWE network stuff, occasional in ring promo with other legends, backstage skits.......etc. Hell, I'd have him do color commentating too. Everyone knows all 3 full time color guys (Graves/Coach/Saxton) are the absolute drizzling shits Hogan doing color commentary would be interesting. Could he be able to be a Monsoon type or would he be closer to Randy Savage?
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Post by DASH 243✅ on Jul 16, 2018 19:09:44 GMT -5
Hogan: here you go mr. Cole here's your coffee Cole: thanks hank now get out of here were almost back on the air. Hogan: it's hulk *sulks away*
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The Yes Man
Unicron
Sigs/Avatars cannot exceed 1MB
Posts: 2,502
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Post by The Yes Man on Jul 16, 2018 19:09:59 GMT -5
Action figures and video games.
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Post by Vice honcho room temperature on Jul 16, 2018 19:15:05 GMT -5
I wouldn't
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Post by TheMediocreWarrior on Jul 16, 2018 19:15:39 GMT -5
Make him a character in video games, have him appear on Network stuff like Table for 3 or a documentary, but that's it. I don't think there is any reason for him to make appearances on the current TV show, unless it was a one time managerial role at WrestleMania or something. Certainly nothing on a regular basis.
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Post by BlackoutCreature on Jul 16, 2018 20:11:48 GMT -5
Between his rambling, over-the-top interview style and his difficulty putting other people over, I can't imagine him working out as a commentator.
As I said in the other thread yesterday, he should be used in purely ceremonial fashion. Somebody there to say a few words when they announce the location of the next WrestleMania or introduce a new Title Belt to be given to the winner of the next match. Maybe shake a few hands. He should under no circumstances become involved in any kind of angle or storyline or even one-off segments where he would be an kind of focus.
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Post by The Rick Jericho on Jul 16, 2018 20:12:57 GMT -5
nWo Hall of Fame induction.
Hogan, Hall, Nash, Bischoff, Giant, Syxx, Dibiase.
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