Dumbest thing a customer has ever said to you?

[Sephiroth]

I’m a regional dispatcher for Safelite. Yesterday a customer was asking whether he needs to be home for his appointment, and how about if he left the keys and the money in the car. It took a lot of willpower not to say “Don’t stop there, put a sign on your car: come get it!” They are anyways right-even when they se completely dense. It can be so hard to hold back my smartass instincts.

[Vice honcho room temperature]

The amount of people staring at the sign and asking how much is this is infuriating. Like its why the sign is at that spot

[FinalGwen]

I once had a customer ask me if the colour of a t-shirt was too feminine, as she was buying it for her husband. The shirt was yellow.

Like, that's ridiculous enough to me, since when was yellow gendered at all, but she also went up to the trans girl with long hair and distinctive eyeshadow/winged eyeliner, the obvious paragon of masculinity to be the deciding vote.

[Porky's Butthole]

Ya'll are gonna love this...

I am a retailer for Dish Network television. Lately, corporate has been sending incentives to lure old and get new customers. One of these incentives is a gift card promotion. The mailer has a flyer with the details and a fake gift card attached. Sign up, keep services for 31 days, pay your first bill and Dish will send you a gift card worth $300-$500.

Last Tuesday, I get a call from a potential customer asking about the gift card in the mailer. He says to me "I tried using the gift card you sent me but it didn't work. I think it's because that's not my name on it." I ask him what name is on it.


"Yeah, it says Lee M. Cardholder. That's not my name." This guy not only thought that the cardboard card in the mailer was legit, he tried to use it. AND NOT ONLY THAT, but he rationed that the only reason it didn't work was because it wasn't in his name. I had to explain to him that the card was not a real card and that in order to get the real card, he would have to take the proper steps.

"So you didn't send me a real gift card? That's bullshit." I explained to him that it's probably not a very good business model for a company to send thousands of people $500 gift cards FOR NO DAMN REASON. And he felt the need to clap back. "I went to the Wall Mark (yes, Wall Mark) to get a new TV and the guy laughed at me when I tried to use the card. You f***ers are wrong and I WANT MY f***ING CARD!"

Such is a day in the life of a retailer.

[poodoojenkins]

I managed a coffee shop/diner for about 3 years back in the mid 2000s. There were always people coming in who didn't know anything about what things like cappuccinos or lattes were exactly. I was always glad to help folks out and get them something they would enjoy when they would ask, or clearly needed the help.

But then there were...the others.

These were the people who would come in and place their order with complete confidence, only to recoil in horror at what they received. Most of them were under the impression that all "fancy" coffee drinks just automatically taste like candy, and it broke their brain to find out that most of them are actually just espresso and coffee unless otherwise stated/requested. They would then usually talk to me like I was the one who didn't know what I was doing.

My favorite was a lady who came in with a friend. The friend asked a few questions, and I helped her figure out what she might like. Then the lady steps up and, with all the confidence of a seasoned coffee pro, orders a double espresso.

I finish the drinks, hand the friend her caramel latte or whatever, and then hand the lady her small cup containing the double espresso. She picks it up, looks confused, shakes it around, and then pops the lid off so she can stare into the tiny cup with the 2 shots of espresso in the bottom.

Then she looks at me and says "You forgot to put the other stuff in here. This cup is almost empty."

"Uh...yes, ma'am. You ordered a double espresso. That's...two shots of espresso."

"Well, I didn't know what that meant. I'll take a full cup, please."

".....you want a full cup of espresso?"

"Yes, I would like a full drink."

"Ma'am, there is no way I am serving you a full cup of espresso."

For anyone who doesn't know, a single shot of espresso has just a little less caffeine than a regular cup of coffee. Serving this lady an 8oz cup of espresso would have been well north of 500mg of caffeine, or almost the equivalent of 2 Bang energy drinks. For someone who clearly didn't drink a lot of coffee, it could have caused serious health issues.

Always know what you're asking for. If you don't, ask someone who knows more to help you.

[Push R Truth]

We were replacing a 450ft long bridge over a deep river and a landowner wanted us to "put a couple boards over the water" so he could get to his favorite gas station for morning coffee without a 10 mile detour.

[YAKMAN is ICHIBAN]

Worked at Wendy’s

Someone (probably high) came in with a friend and ordered a “Sizer seed salad” (Caesar side salad”).

His friend and I just busted out laughing.

[Vice honcho room temperature]

Apr 21, 2023 8:21:25 GMT -5 poodoojenkins said:

I managed a coffee shop/diner for about 3 years back in the mid 2000s. There were always people coming in who didn't know anything about what things like cappuccinos or lattes were exactly. I was always glad to help folks out and get them something they would enjoy when they would ask, or clearly needed the help.

But then there were...the others.

These were the people who would come in and place their order with complete confidence, only to recoil in horror at what they received. Most of them were under the impression that all "fancy" coffee drinks just automatically taste like candy, and it broke their brain to find out that most of them are actually just espresso and coffee unless otherwise stated/requested. They would then usually talk to me like I was the one who didn't know what I was doing.

My favorite was a lady who came in with a friend. The friend asked a few questions, and I helped her figure out what she might like. Then the lady steps up and, with all the confidence of a seasoned coffee pro, orders a double espresso.

I finish the drinks, hand the friend her caramel latte or whatever, and then hand the lady her small cup containing the double espresso. She picks it up, looks confused, shakes it around, and then pops the lid off so she can stare into the tiny cup with the 2 shots of espresso in the bottom.

Then she looks at me and says "You forgot to put the other stuff in here. This cup is almost empty."

"Uh...yes, ma'am. You ordered a double espresso. That's...two shots of espresso."

"Well, I didn't know what that meant. I'll take a full cup, please."

".....you want a full cup of espresso?"

"Yes, I would like a full drink."

"Ma'am, there is no way I am serving you a full cup of espresso."

For anyone who doesn't know, a single shot of espresso has just a little less caffeine than a regular cup of coffee. Serving this lady an 8oz cup of espresso would have been well north of 500mg of caffeine, or almost the equivalent of 2 Bang energy drinks. For someone who clearly didn't drink a lot of coffee, it could have caused serious health issues.

Always know what you're asking for. If you don't, ask someone who knows more to help you.

And that is why we have the Americano.

[Sephiroth]

Apr 21, 2023 8:31:38 GMT -5 YAKMAN is ICHIBAN said:

Worked at Wendy’s

Someone (probably high) came in with a friend and ordered a “Sizer seed salad” (Caesar side salad”).

His friend and I just busted out laughing.

My mom’s husband has a lifelong habit-when he can’t think of the right word, he tries to substitute. A long time ago, during weekly visitation, mom asked if we wanted Wendy’s for lunch.
Him: Yeah, let’s get a Biggie Slob.
Mom and me: *look at him like he has six heads*
Him: T’know, the ice cream.
Me: You mean a Frosty?
Him: Yeah, one of them.

[poodoojenkins]

Apr 21, 2023 8:34:42 GMT -5 Vice honcho room temperature said:

Apr 21, 2023 8:21:25 GMT -5 poodoojenkins said:

I managed a coffee shop/diner for about 3 years back in the mid 2000s. There were always people coming in who didn't know anything about what things like cappuccinos or lattes were exactly. I was always glad to help folks out and get them something they would enjoy when they would ask, or clearly needed the help.

But then there were...the others.

These were the people who would come in and place their order with complete confidence, only to recoil in horror at what they received. Most of them were under the impression that all "fancy" coffee drinks just automatically taste like candy, and it broke their brain to find out that most of them are actually just espresso and coffee unless otherwise stated/requested. They would then usually talk to me like I was the one who didn't know what I was doing.

My favorite was a lady who came in with a friend. The friend asked a few questions, and I helped her figure out what she might like. Then the lady steps up and, with all the confidence of a seasoned coffee pro, orders a double espresso.

I finish the drinks, hand the friend her caramel latte or whatever, and then hand the lady her small cup containing the double espresso. She picks it up, looks confused, shakes it around, and then pops the lid off so she can stare into the tiny cup with the 2 shots of espresso in the bottom.

Then she looks at me and says "You forgot to put the other stuff in here. This cup is almost empty."

"Uh...yes, ma'am. You ordered a double espresso. That's...two shots of espresso."

"Well, I didn't know what that meant. I'll take a full cup, please."

".....you want a full cup of espresso?"

"Yes, I would like a full drink."

"Ma'am, there is no way I am serving you a full cup of espresso."

For anyone who doesn't know, a single shot of espresso has just a little less caffeine than a regular cup of coffee. Serving this lady an 8oz cup of espresso would have been well north of 500mg of caffeine, or almost the equivalent of 2 Bang energy drinks. For someone who clearly didn't drink a lot of coffee, it could have caused serious health issues.

Always know what you're asking for. If you don't, ask someone who knows more to help you.

And that is why we have the Americano.

And that's exactly what she walked out with lol.

[schma]

My friend was working in a zellers when the power went out. As they were trying to get everyone out, a customer tried to get her to check the price of lipstick and didn't get why she couldn't and wouldn't.

[Natural Born Farmer]

I work for an insurance company, and the number of people who don't realize mechanical issues aren't covered is staggering.

Least twice a week get to have a customer yell at me "THEN WHAT AM I PAYING FOR INSURANCE FOR?!" when I tell them that no, we aren't covering their transmission replacement.

[MiLB Fan]

“Do you work here?”

I got that question a lot when I worked at the grocery store during college. And usually someone asked while I was stocking shelves. You know … doing work?

[Hassan bin Sober]

I'll never forget the guy who called, telling me his life story as to why he needed batteries for some remote. He wanted to know the prices on the batteries so I told him. He asked, "How many are in the single pack?" and then followed it up with, "How many are in the double pack?" Guy didn't know single meant one and double meant two.

[Jaws the Shark]

It's less what they said and more what they did. My workplace sells prepaid debit cards, and the PIN for them comes with the cards on a little tearaway, like...you know, pretty much all debit and credit cards. Despite this having been made clear to one customer, she still decided to take it outside and throw away the little tearaway in a public bin outside the building before checking what and where the PIN was. Then she came back in a rage because it was apparently all my fault that sh had thrown away her PIN.

I also a couple of months had another one who didn't take a £5 insurance policy she had been offered on a product, and ended up losing £40 because of it, then whinged that again, it was my fault because she thought the £5 outlay was a lot and I hadn't made it clear. Which I had, she just hadn't listened.

And the numerous people who look at your closed sign and then ask if you're open. Go away.

[The Ichi]

Not so much anything said to me, but working on a self-checkout for a few hours makes you wonder how we once managed to put someone on the moon.

[Sephiroth]

Apr 21, 2023 12:14:24 GMT -5 The Ichi said:

Not so much anything said to me, but working on a self-checkout for a few hours makes you wonder how we once managed to put someone on the moon.

I refuse to be built tripped that I am “costing people jobs” by using the self checkout. The checkout clerk doesn’t need to hear your life story-and neither do I.

[SmashTV]

When I worked in a government call centre during the height of the pandemic:

‘So, this Covid thing; what’s it all about?’

[Confused Mark Wahlberg]

Many, MANY people are legit stupid. Like, not even an insult, but a statement of fact.

[Bo Rida]

Parking related customer service a lady rang to say she'd parked her car outside a house where the owner was in the garden and pulled a face at her. I'll never know what result she was expecting.

Apr 21, 2023 10:17:37 GMT -5 MiLB Fan said:

“Do you work here?”

I got that question a lot when I worked at the grocery store during college. And usually someone asked while I was stocking shelves. You know … doing work?

People ask? There's were quite a few times when I was younger when I was out shopping and mistaken for staff.