What’s the Worst Nickname/Announcer Fact Ever?

[The Gallus Mark]

I’m watching the 2018 Royal Rumble and as soon as Michael Cole referred to Kairi Sane’s “yacht persona” I cried laughing at how lame it is. I had forgotten about it until now and I’m still clueless on how that was supposed to get her over.

What are some other commentator nicknames or wrestler facts that were hilariously lame?

["Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay]

WWE tried to put a guy over as super smart because he read... a book a month? Two books a month? Something that was in no way notable, numbers wise

[ace]

Jan 22, 2024 3:22:26 GMT -5 "Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay said:

WWE tried to put a guy over as super smart because he read... a book a month? Two books a month? Something that was in no way notable, numbers wise

I’ve probably read around 17 book in 44 years so it sounds like a lot to me.

[Jedi-El of Tomorrow]

The WWE Universe has taken to calling Kofi Kingston "The Wildcat".

[Mozenrath]

I feel like Matt Striker has spent much of his career throwing out some of the wildest gibberish, like that Sexy Star derived her powers from the constellations. Lucha Underground's nature is such that I, to this day, do not know if it was a plot point (one which was never spoken of again, to my knowledge), or if it was just him being weird like suggesting Bao Nguyen was the "Poisoned Fist of the Orient", presumably as some kind of rib.

[Rumble McSkirmish]

That period in time when Jim Ross would constantly call The Undertaker: "Booger Red"

[Jaws the Shark]

Jan 22, 2024 3:22:26 GMT -5 "Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay said:

WWE tried to put a guy over as super smart because he read... a book a month? Two books a month? Something that was in no way notable, numbers wise

I wonder if he’s ever thrown a kettle over a pub.

[mcmahonfan85]

Worst announcer fact: Raw is the longest running weekly episodic television show in history

["Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay]

Jan 22, 2024 3:41:51 GMT -5 ace said:

Jan 22, 2024 3:22:26 GMT -5 "Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay said:

WWE tried to put a guy over as super smart because he read... a book a month? Two books a month? Something that was in no way notable, numbers wise

I’ve probably read around 17 book in 44 years so it sounds like a lot to me.

That doesn't make it impressive or notable though.

If someone played more tennis than I did, which is none in the last 20 years, that would not justify them being given a tennis gimmick

[Baldobomb-22-OH-MAN!!!]

Any time the commentary team would talk up Kenny Dykstra for being 20 years old as if people way more successful than him hadn't broken into the business when they were significantly younger than that.

[Futureraven: Beelzebruv]

Jan 22, 2024 4:31:27 GMT -5 Mozenrath said:

I feel like Matt Striker has spent much of his career throwing out some of the wildest gibberish, like that Sexy Star derived her powers from the constellations. Lucha Underground's nature is such that I, to this day, do not know if it was a plot point (one which was never spoken of again, to my knowledge), or if it was just him being weird like suggesting Bao Nguyen was the "Poisoned Fist of the Orient", presumably as some kind of rib.

Wait, he reused that? I remember him calling Yoshi Tatsu "The Poisoned Fist of the Pacific Rim"

[Mozenrath]

Jan 22, 2024 7:25:36 GMT -5 Futureraven: Beelzebruv said:

Jan 22, 2024 4:31:27 GMT -5 Mozenrath said:

I feel like Matt Striker has spent much of his career throwing out some of the wildest gibberish, like that Sexy Star derived her powers from the constellations. Lucha Underground's nature is such that I, to this day, do not know if it was a plot point (one which was never spoken of again, to my knowledge), or if it was just him being weird like suggesting Bao Nguyen was the "Poisoned Fist of the Orient", presumably as some kind of rib.

Wait, he reused that? I remember him calling Yoshi Tatsu "The Poisoned Fist of the Pacific Rim"

I may be conflating things, then, I just remember him acting like Bao had special forces training or something, probably to either try to make beating him sound impressive, or just because he thought it'd be funny. (Which, it admittedly was funny.)

Yeah, looking it up, you are right, it was Yoshi Tatsu who was the Poisoned Fist of the Pacific Rim, along with "The Storm Shadow". On that note, he called Batista "The Altered Beast" once, so he was fond of his geek references.

He also claimed the "4-Up" on Elijah Burke's fist tape meant he had 4 lives on Mario, despite probably knowing full well it was in reference to "4 knuckles upside your head" for Elijah Burke's boxing gimmick. That one had to be a rib.

[fg]

Remember when Erick Rowan was a solo face and the announcers spouted facts like him having a high IQ? I think they also stated he has a winery and he’s the leader of a rock band but I’m not sure.

[Futureraven: Beelzebruv]

Jan 22, 2024 12:13:45 GMT -5 Mozenrath said:

Jan 22, 2024 7:25:36 GMT -5 Futureraven: Beelzebruv said:

Wait, he reused that? I remember him calling Yoshi Tatsu "The Poisoned Fist of the Pacific Rim"

I may be conflating things, then, I just remember him acting like Bao had special forces training or something, probably to either try to make beating him sound impressive, or just because he thought it'd be funny. (Which, it admittedly was funny.)

Yeah, looking it up, you are right, it was Yoshi Tatsu who was the Poisoned Fist of the Pacific Rim, along with "The Storm Shadow". On that note, he called Batista "The Altered Beast" once, so he was fond of his geek references.

He also claimed the "4-Up" on Elijah Burke's fist tape meant he had 4 lives on Mario, despite probably knowing full well it was in reference to "4 knuckles upside your head" for Elijah Burke's boxing gimmick. That one had to be a rib.

A guy as jacked as Batista, that Altered Beast one must have made him a LOT of friends in the office...

[Zombie Mod]

Michael Cole " *insert name here* loves to have fun!" him saying this goes back as far as 2002 from what I've been able to tell as I'm re-watching smackdowns from then.

[WinOwensWin]

They frequent BITE clubs.

[Mozenrath]

Jan 22, 2024 12:22:07 GMT -5 fg said:

Remember when Erick Rowan was a solo face and the announcers spouted facts like him having a high IQ? I think they also stated he has a winery and he’s the leader of a rock band but I’m not sure.

I spent a lot of time believing the wine thing because it just seemed so random, but no, he is not a vintner according to an AMA he did like a year ago. Crushed.

[mrpeacock]

Jan 22, 2024 12:22:07 GMT -5 fg said:

Remember when Erick Rowan was a solo face and the announcers spouted facts like him having a high IQ? I think they also stated he has a winery and he’s the leader of a rock band but I’m not sure.

Didn’t they do that same exact gimmick with Mike Knox? Like said he was super smart and knew about science?

[Famous Rocking Chimes]

Jan 22, 2024 12:26:19 GMT -5 Zombie Mod said:

Michael Cole " *insert name here* loves to have fun!" him saying this goes back as far as 2002 from what I've been able to tell as I'm re-watching smackdowns from then.

That was the kiss of death if you were a face.

Ditto if you were a heel and Cole called you “a bully”.

[Allie Kitsune]

Jan 22, 2024 4:31:27 GMT -5 Mozenrath said:

I feel like Matt Striker has spent much of his career throwing out some of the wildest gibberish, like that Sexy Star derived her powers from the constellations. Lucha Underground's nature is such that I, to this day, do not know if it was a plot point (one which was never spoken of again, to my knowledge), or if it was just him being weird like suggesting Bao Nguyen was the "Poisoned Fist of the Orient", presumably as some kind of rib.

The thing with him is that he wouldn't just have one nickname for someone, he'd rapid-fire list off like 16 of them. I don't remember all of them off the top of my head, but I remember him having a long list of them for Christian.