|
Post by rnt on Dec 21, 2005 10:58:11 GMT -5
Marcus Trunk is doing bench presses in the locker room. Rick Raskall bursts through the door.
Raskall: I can't believe it! Again! You see that match board, Trunk?
Trunk: Damn right I did.
Raskall: I swear, Toomi has it out for us. We started out in this company as the hottest new tag team in EWT. We should be wrestling for titles, and prestige, and other stuff like that. But yet again, he sticks us with another couple of jobbers. Hell, we didn't even get booked for Season's Beatings!
Dennis Stamp strolls by the locker room door.
Stamp: Now you know how it feels.
Stamp leaves.
Raskall: Who the hell was that? ... Argh, nevermind! The point is, two months ago, we were on top of the world. We were getting noticed, we were getting booked in great matches. Nowadays, we don't even get booked in tag team matches! How are we supposed to be the greatest tag team in EWT history if we don't even team up?
Trunk: Toomi don't know us! We get no respect around here!
Raskall: Damn right we don't! We gotta make things right! We gotta get the best matches, the best titles, the best of everything!
Trunk: But Rick, the last time we were on top, Curly Long was booking the matches.
Raskall: Oh yeah, that little rat and his mongoloid of a partner. Yeah, we pretty much dominated them a while back, but now, things have got to pick back up. We need to get back to the top. We're marquee names, and we're gonna stay that way.
Trunk: But Toomi don't show us no respect. How we gonna do that?
Raskall: You know, I never thought I'd say this, but...
We need Curly Long back as head booker.
|
|
|
Post by pta on Dec 21, 2005 11:53:34 GMT -5
Principal Pain and Canceler are in their office/locker room, obviously plotting their strategy.
Pain: Hmmmm well then let's see... our opponent's this week are... The Conquistadors.
Canceler raises an eyebrow.
Pain: Yes... I'm not too familiar with them either. But they're jobbers and therefore... they won't be anything bigger than a simple chore.
The Canceler slowly nods, quite content being his silent self. Pain looks around, noticing Chance Confidence is nowhere to be found.
Pain: hmmmph... now where is Confidence? He should be here so we can discuss our plans. It's bad enough he went up against Maelstrom without us at ringside!
Canceler looks at Pain.
Canceler: Maybe he thinks he is too good for P.T.A now. Maybe he should be.... replaced.
Pain looks at Canceler and smiles, nodding slowly.
Pain: Why that's a perfect idea... I have grown weary of his shortcomings. First he loses the Tri-State title... then he fails to recapture it. It's quiet an annoyance.
Canceler grunts and nods, sitting down and almost breaking a wooden chair.
Pain:Alright... tonight we shall focus on our pathetic opponents, then after that has been dealt with, we can concern ourselves with Confidence... and his possible replacement.
He smirks contently to himself.
Meanwhile on the other side of the locker room door... Chance Confidence can be seen eavesdropping...
Fade to commercial.
|
|
|
Post by Trik Turner on Dec 21, 2005 13:04:54 GMT -5
Sum Guy: I'm Sum Guy & artwork makes me get emotional erect.
Trik Turner: Dude, that is just sick & wrong.
Sum Guy: No it's not. Have you ever seen great artwork before? It's...it's...beautiful.
Trik Turner: Can we get back to the matter on hand?
Sum Guy: Oh yeah. Sorry. Lost my train of thought. Just thinking of the Mona Lisa. Man, she's just...beautiful.
Trik Turner: You know what. I didn't sign on for this, you sick freak Get out of here.
(Trik Turner shoves Sum Guy out of frame, but grabs the microphone.)
But leave this with me, please. Thank you very much.
You know what? I been all around this great big world. I wrestled in every single country, proving that I am the best thing going. But then I heard about these guys here. The Extreme Wrestlecrap Threaderation. And I been watching them. Guys like DSR, HitmanMark, D-Boy, the Variable. I was impressed by all of them. So what happens?
The retire. They knew I was coming. But hey, that's cool man. I understand they heard I was coming & they heard of me on the independent circuit & they got out while they can. I don't blame them. If I wasn't me, I wouldn't wanna wrestle me, either.
Fact of the matter is, I am not here for championships right now. I know everybody comes in here, saying I want this, I want that. But, as I stated before, my day will come when I get there. Right now, I am here to prove to all of you just how damn good I can be.
And that's where you come into the picture Playboy Buddy Rose. Dude, what the hell is up with that name? Playboy? You weigh like a freaking ton. But, that's cool. You go use that Blowaway Diet plan before our match & get those pounds off. Because when we get in the ring, you will be in for the workout of your life. As for me, I will hardly break a sweat. Because, I am more then meets the eyes. I am Trik Turner.
|
|
Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
|
Post by Ragnal on Dec 21, 2005 14:33:22 GMT -5
*Iron & Dangerous are in the middle of the ring waiting for their opponents. Mike & Joe come out to High Voltage, take off the belts, and slide into the ring. Mike & Joe trade punched with Iron & Dangerous until Joe throws Iron out of the ring. Mike places Dangerous on his shoulders, spins him over for a powerbomb, and he and Joe connect the THunder Cracker Powerbomb for the pin. High Voltage plays as the Ragnals grab their belts and head into the back.*
|
|
|
Post by girlnextdoor on Dec 21, 2005 22:39:10 GMT -5
*An extremely dark corner, a famaliar voice is heard very low.*
I lost. I lost Sunday. But it's Ok. I still won by default. Sally no-showed. She's scared. She's scared of me.
I see yellow. I see yellow down Sally's back. She calls herself a wrestler. I have seen her wrestle in that very ring. But suddenly, she stopped. Is it because of me? Is that it Sally?
I wasted my time with you Sally. I wanted to hurt you. But I realized I was wasting my time. I realized it to late. But Sunday, on the 5 year anniversary, I realized it when she tripped.
She fell flat on her face. Now, that's funny. Here, wrestlers are trained to be skilled.
I wasn't trained like all of you girls. I was trained in the backyard. I was trained hardcore style. You people sit in a chair. As she learned last Sunday, I hit with a chair. People mock the backyard. But the backyard taught me many things.
Chairs
Tables
Barbed wire
I am a woman stuck in a Diva's world. I don't model. I don't do makeup.
And that's why I don't get what I deserve from everybody. Respect.
She tripped over my foot. It's not my fault she was clumsy. I'm not clumsy. Yet, everybody respects her. They respect all the women of EWT.
BUT NOT ME!!!
I WANT THAT RESPECT!!! I DESERVE THAT RESPECT!!!
AND IF I HAVE TO MAKE EVERY WOMAN BLEED FOR RESPECT, I WILL!!!
IF I HAVE TO SHOW YOU THAT THE BACKYARD IS THE WAY TO GO FOR RESPECT, I WILL!!!
I DON'T CARE WHO IT IS!!!
IF IT'S A REMATCH FROM SUNDAY!!! IF IT'S ROSA!!! IF IT'S CARLA!!! I DON'T CARE!!!
I DESERVE THE RESPECT OF EVERYBODY!!!
I DESERVE IT!!!
So ladies, what do you say?
Run your mouth when I'm not around, It's easy to achieve, You try to make friends, not sympathize Can you hear the violins playin' your song, Those secrets tell me your every word, Is there no standing by? What it takes, Who I am, Where I've been, ALONE! You can't be something you're not, Be yourself, by yourself, Stay away from me, A lesson learned in life, Known from the dawn of time.....
RE! SPECT! WALK! What do you say?!? RE! SPECT! WALK! ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?! RE! SPECT! WALK! What did you say?! RE! SPECT! WALK! ARE YOU TALKIN' TO ME?! ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?! NO WAY PUNK!
|
|
|
Post by crauswell on Dec 22, 2005 1:50:37 GMT -5
Suddenly another vignette starts playing of the dragon suit guy known as Crauswell, his back to the screen
Crauswell: The time is drawing near... it's nearly only a week from now. Soon I will breath down the EWT's neck like so many ignorant people have breathed down mine. I've been banned from zoos... from aquariums, even from Seaworld!!! So what if I got a little too close to the dolphins... I deserve the same rights as everyone else! Not to be treated like a friggin FURRY!!!
Crauswell turns to the camera again.
Crauswell: You people will respect us... you people will stop making fun of us... you people will cease your ridicule or I will break you in half like a dollar store quality yardstick!!!
The dragon suit guy clenches his fake dragon claw into a fist.
Crauswell: I will strike a blow for all animal costume wearing wrestlers... and even the non-wrestlers... because once I arrive, I will prove that I can become the best... even if you think I'm a DAMN FURRY!!!
Crauswell walks off and his name appears in flaming text again. With the same message as last time.
1/1/06 A New Age... for the Furry shall begin.
|
|
|
Post by Ultimo Chocula on Dec 22, 2005 2:03:21 GMT -5
(Cut back to the ring where Paul Roma is being introduced and getting a rather weak response from the crowd. "Poor And Weird" comes over the PA and here come the boos. The fans boo, and boo, and boo some more but Ultimo doesn't come out. The entire song plays and UC is nowhere to be found. Everyone is confused as to what's going on until some crackling and feedback come over the public address system.)
Voice from the PA: "Hello? Testing....one, two. Ladies and gentleman, the match that was supposed to take place at this time will be declared a forfeit considering that Ultimo Chocula is in Italy right now. Don't worry, Paul. You're still getting paid."
Roma: (pumps fist) "Yeah!"
Voice from the PA: "We here at the EWT are sorry for the inconvenience. So at this time we would like to present a special yuletide present to all of you great fans of ours. Ladies and gentleman, here to perform the holiday standard "Jingle Bells", put your hands together for..........the Wrestlecrap Choir!"
(On top of the entry ramp a curtain flies open to reveal several wrestlers holding lyric sheets and wearing Santa hats. Some crappy Casio keyboard music begins to play and one by one the choir begin to sing...)
Tugboat: "Toot! Toot! Toot! Toot! Toot!"
Bushwhackers: "Whooooaaaaaaaa Yeeaaaaahhh!"
Daffney: "Eeeeek! Eeeeeek! Eeeeeek! Eeeeeeeek!"
Berzerker: "Huss! Huss! Huss!"
Iron Mike Sharpe: "Aaaaauuuugggghhh!!!! Auurrggggh!! Aaaaaaaauuurrrgghhh!!"
Dog: "Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof!"
Lash Laroux: "Hooooooooo-wheeeeeeeee!!!"
Zodiac: "No! Yes! No! Yes! No! Yes!"
(Suddenly everyone sings all together in an unintelligible din that echos through out the arena. After what seems like an eternity they finally end the song but somebody has to have the last word."
Roadkill: "Chickens!"
(The curtain closes and everyone in the crowd has no clue what the hell that was all about.)
|
|
|
Post by Chrysta on Dec 22, 2005 9:02:03 GMT -5
Chimel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Making her way to the ring first...Oceanic!
*Maritime plays as Oceanic heads down to the ring. Once she gets into the ring, she looks towards the Toomitron, and Senzafine plays.*
Chimel: And the opponent...from Juno, Alaska, being accompanied to the ring by Ms. White...The Ice Queen, Chrysta Ragnal!
JR: Now wait just a damn minute. Did she just call herself a Ragnal?
Carl Guerrero: I heard it too, JR. I guess Chrysta's serious about getting her family name back.
JR: Well, this is just ridiculous. When's she gonna realize that you can't always get what you want?!
*Oceanic has taken to the mic by the time Chrysta gets into the ring.*
Oceanic: Let me get this straight. You're calling yourself a Ragnal, despite Linda's telling you that you don't belong in the family?
*Chrysta nods as the audience boos her.*
Oceanic: Let me put it to you this way. Linda nade a promise not to tell anybody about your past, and that's probably for the better. And if you keep calling yourself a Ragnal, the crowd's just going to keep coming at you with this-
*Oceanic holds the mic up as the crowd chants "SHE'S NO RAGNAL!"*
Oceanic: Has that gotten inside your head yet, Chrysta? It better, because Linda doesn't deserve what she has to deal with now!
*Oceanic tosses the mic away, and the bell rings. Chrysta and Oceanic tie up in the center, and after a while Chrysta pushes Oceanic into a corner. The ref breaks it up and Chrysta waits for Oceanic to get out of the corner before going on the offensive. Chrysta kicks Oceanic in the gut and goes for a side headlock, but Oceanic elbows her way out. She whips Chrysta into the ropes and hits a snap belly to belly suplex as Chrysta heads back. Oceanic heads over to the downed Chrysta and picks her up for a vertical suplex, but Chrysta slides out and locks the Frostbite onto Oceanic. Oceanic heads to the ropes and grabs the top rope, and the ref counts to four before Chrysta releases the move. Chrysta picks Oceanic up and looks for a vertical suplex herself, but Oceanic slides out and hits a German Suplex on her. Oceanic goes to pin Chrysta.*
1!2!
*Ms. White grabs Chrysta's leg and places it on the bottom rope next to her. The ref sees this, and tells Oceanic to break up the pin. Oceanic picks Chrysta up and connects a snap vertical suplex on her. She grabs Chrysta and puts her in an armbar, and Chrysta grabs the ropes. The ref counts again, and Oceanic lets go at two. Oceanic waits for Chrysta to get up, and she starts to nail Chrysta with nothing but knees and elbows before finally knocking her down with a Roaring Elbow. Oceanic climbs the ropes and looks to land the Superfly Splash, but Chrysta gets her knees up and hits Oceanic before she can connect the move. Chrysta slowly starts to get up as Oceanic lies down on the ground, and Chrysta picks her up and lands the Hog Lock, now called the Ice Chopper. Chrysta gets up to the ropes and goes for a Falling Icicle, but Linda Ragnal comes out from the crowd and shoves Chrysta off the ropes. The ref calls for the bell and the match is over.*
Winner by DQ-Chrysta
*Linda gets into the ring as Oceanic rolls to the outside, and Linda kicks at Chrysta. Ms. White gets into the ring and tries to stop Linda, but Linda sees her coming and hits her with a clothesline. Linda picks Ms. White up and hits her with a vertical suplex. Linda gets back up, and goes to Chrysta, who hits a snap spinebuster on her. Chrysta picks her up and puts the Frostbite onto Linda, but Tanya Flaire comes out next and pummels Chrysta from behind, breaking the Frostbite. Tanya whips Chrysta into the ropes, and she and Linda hit a double leg drop on her. Linda jumps off the ropes for a Lionsault, but Chrysta rolls out of the way, and Linda lands on her feet. Chrysta gets up behind Tanya and picks her up into a Full Nielson into a Rock Bottom. Linda and Chrysta start to trade punches with one another, until Mike and Joe come out from the back. The Ragnals look on at Chrysta, who's showing them no fear or emotion at all, and her voice starts to boom in the arena's PA system.*
Chrysta: This is how you treat a fellow sibling, is it? Well, I suppose, Young Ragnals, we need to become more...CONNECTED!
*The lights in the arena go out.*
JR: What the hell is this?
Carl: The lights went out! Somebody get the lights back on!
*The Toomitron flickers for a few seconds, until finally, the image of the Connection's ankh appears on the screen.*
JR: That's the symbol of the Connection! What in blue blazes is going on?!
*Ich Will plays for a minute, and the lights come back up in the arena, as Mike, Joe, and Linda are getting pummeled by Craig Kendo, Tony Chang, and Holly Vaughn, respectively. One by one, the Connection members lay waste to the Ragnals with their finishers. Enlightenment to Mike. Viperbite to Joe. Final Connection to Linda. As she stares down at the downed 'family', Chrysta holds her arms out in prayer, the goes to the ropes and lands the Falling Icicle on Linda. The crowd boos Chrysta for her actions, as Chrysta looks back at them with no remorse. Chang just looks at the fallen bodies and laughs, while Chrysta helps Ms. White up off the floor. Chrysta stares at Linda's fallen body as Craig Kendo takes to the mic.*
Kendo: Many of you heathens (indicating to the crowd) will no doubt be aware that we had once before offered the Ice Queen the opportunity to join us, and this was declined. We were...disappointed with the outcome, so to speak. But after the Sanctuary...she approached us with a proposition. It seemed that by targeting her...sister...
*"SHE'S NO RAGNAL!" chants start. Tony Chang yells at the crowd to shut up. Kendo calmly holds his hands down.*
Kendo: Oh...but she is. The Ice Queen, whether you HEATHENS believe it or not, is "Dear" Linda's sister. And by targeting Linda...the Ice Queen saw that those braying ignorant CLOWNS, her brothers Michael and Joseph, and that LOOSE Miss Flaire would come to her aid.
(Chrysta nods her head slowly at this, not taking her eyes off Linda)
Kendo: And thus...a four-strong band of misfits would be formed. As powerful a warrior as the Ice Queen is...she could not hope to dominate Linda and open the HEATHEN'S eyes to the truth with her pathetic gang of siblings and comrades hanging on her every word!!! Know this, Ragnals. There is to be ONLY ONE dominant force in EWT. The Ice Queen has...impressed us with her prowess in EWT. And she has been enlightened to our cause. She is truly worthy to be our Initiate. With her vast intelligence, cold nature and...manipulative charm, she is able to be the guiding light of our cause!!! The only thing that is left is for Dear Linda to forsake her false heritage and EMBRACE US AS YOUR NEW FAMILY!!! AS IT WAS MEANT TO BE!!!!
*And with that, the five members of the Connection (Kendo, Chang, Vaughn, Chrysta, White) hold their arms out in prayer one last time, and leave the ring as Ich Will plays. Oceanic crawls back into the ring and checks on the Ragnals and Tanya, and yells for the EMTs to get out to the ring.*
FADE OUT
|
|
Maelstrom
AC Slater
The Tide Will Turn!
Posts: 236
|
Post by Maelstrom on Dec 22, 2005 12:16:27 GMT -5
Meanwhile backstage in the Aquarium Maelstrom is watching the monitor and the recent events in the ring .... he turns to find Todd Grisham standing by with a microphone
MAELSTROM: What do you want Todd? ... shouldn't you be interviewing that cult that just drowned the ragnals? ...
TODD: Well Maelstrom I was assigned to get your opinion and thoughts on. first your recent match with Chance and second the Outlaw's challenge?
MAELSTROM: Todd I'll keep it simple ... Chance put on a good challenge but by the time the tide came in he was all washed up ... maybe in the future Chance will be Tri-State Champion Once again ... but for the time being he'll have to go back to the gym and train! ... as for the Outlaw I'm looking forward to defending my title against him ... you see Todd we have some history already ...
TODD: How can that be, he's the newest name in the EWT ...
MAELSTROM: ... oh come now Todd, surely the waters haven't clouded your brain that much ... for a start that jackass Trick is a newer name .. that guy hasn't even had a match yet and he thinks he's better than me and the Tri-State Title! ... Listen up Trick, Tick, Thick .. whatever your name is ... the likes of Spaz and Moxie aren't going to give you the time of day if you think you can just swim into the main-event scene! .... this isn't amateur-hour ... so get a few wins under your belt first, before threatening the champs! ....
Todd takes a few steps back, clearly feeling intimidated by Maelstrom's sudden outburst
MAELSTROM: Now where was I ah yes Outlaw ... Now Todd the Outlaw is the man we used to know as Merc .. a man who was just given the Tri-State Title not so long ago .. but then he just disappeared ... so we had to re-build .. and after the construction was over I was the sole EWT Tri-State Title holder!! ... but now he's back in the deep end ... and if he wants this ...
Maelstrom slings the Tri-State title over his shoulder
MAELSTROM: He'll have to go through me to get it ... but the unfortunate thing for Outlaw is ... The Tide Will Turn! against him!
Maelstrom walks off, leaving Todd to wrap things up
(cut to an EWT Re-bound of the recent Ragnal Family beatdown)
|
|
|
Post by Virus aka Captain No-Nuts on Dec 22, 2005 19:26:47 GMT -5
(We come back from commercial to see the Italian Stallion already in the ring as his music fades out, to be replaced by...)
PREPARE! TO BE! INFECTED!
(The crowd pops as Heaven's a Lie hits and Virus makes his way out from under the Titan... er... Toomi... er... CrapTron.)
Lillian: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Already in the ring, the ITALIAN... STALLION!
(Virus makes his way to ringside, slapping hands with fans.)
Lillian: And his opponent, weighing in at 345 pounds, VIRUS!
King: What's he losing weight for, JR? That weight is an obvious advantage for a wrestler nowadays!
JR: Were you watching that match he had with Rick Raskall before Season's Beatings? Did you see that Enzeguri he pulled off? I think if he loses a little more weight, he'll have the perfect balance of speed and power!
King: Look out JR! The Stallion is wasting no time in getting this one started!
(Indeed he hasn't, as the Italian Stallion starts pounding on Virus with all his might. Virus cowers under the force of the attack, but quickly regains control of the situation by pushing the Stallion away. With the attack broken off, the ref calls for the bell.)
DING DING DING!
JR: And now the match is officially underway, King!
Virus smirks and motions for the Stallion to give it his best shot as Virus advances to the middle of the ring.
King: How arrogant can you get?
JR: Arrogant, yes. Justified, yes. Virus versus the Italian Stallion? You really think the Stallion has a chance here King?
King: Well, no... but it's still arrogant.
The Stallion gives Virus a once-over glance, then decides to take Virus up on his offer, bouncing off the ropes and charging at Virus. However, at the last second, Virus ducks and lifts the Italian Stallion up onto his back, grabbing his legs as they pass by Virus's head!
JR: This can't be good, King!
Virus stands fully upright, so that the Stallion's head is almost touching the mat, then slams the Stallion forward in a hellacious Alabama Slam!
JR: ALABAMA SLAM! ALABAMA SLAM! ALABAMA SLAM! What power!
Virus covers... 1!... 2!... 3... NO! KICKOUT! The Stallion barely gets a shoulder up, and the crowd gasps in shock. Virus gets up and allows the Stallion to return to his feet, before trying to whip the Stallion into the ropes. The Stallion puts on the brakes, however, and then attempts to whip Virus, who does likewise. Then Virus pulls the Stallion towards him and nails a modified Burning Lariat! Virus falls to the mat for another cover...
1!... 2!... 3.. NO, AGAIN! The Stallion kicks out again as Virus is visibly frustrated now. Virus again lets the Stallion return to his feet, before peppering him with alternating rights and left. The Stallion staggers into the ropes, and Virus lets up to run to the opposite side of the ring and bounce off the ropes. The Stallion takes this time to recover, and barely dodges a huge clothesline from Virus, who goes flying over the ropes and down to the floor!
JR: What instincts by the no doubt foggied Stallion, King!
King: You said it, JR! Virus shouldn't have let up on the attack there...
Virus takes a few seconds to recover on the outside, then slides back into the ring, where the Stallion is waiting with a few boots to the head. Virus is unfazed, however, and returns to his feet quickly, where he strikes the Stallion down with a gigantic haymaker.
JR: What a shot!
King: Look at the Stallion, JR, I don't think he even knows where he is!
The Stallion looks dazed and confused, but Virus isn't finished quite yet. He signals for the Infection with the cut-throat motion, and the crowd pops at the realization that this one is just about over.
JR: Uh-oh, King, this one's just about over!
King: No, no, don't turn around!
Unfortunately, the Stallion doesn't hear the King's warning, and Virus knees him in the gut and lifts him up into the air. Several seconds later, Virus slams the Italian Stallion down to the mat in a sitting powerbomb, and the referee counts the cover...
1!... 2!... 3!
(Virus quickly gets up and asks for a microphone, before his theme can play and before Lillian can announce him as the winner.)
JR: I wonder what Virus could want King?
Virus: Come ON! Is this the best the EWT can give me to fight after EN Bunk? After Rick Raskall?! I need a better challenge than that! So I've got a little proposal for anybody back there in the locker room. Any EWT superstar, one-on-one with ME, NEXT WEEK, IN THIS RING. You choose the stipulation. And no matter who it is... you had better prepare... to be... INFECTED!
(Virus throws the microphone down to the mat with a loud feedback and leaves, leaving the referee still trying to get a coherent answer out of the Italian Stallion as we fade to commercial.)
|
|
|
Post by Joel, Mike, Currently...? on Dec 22, 2005 19:50:23 GMT -5
Joel and Mike are backstage. Joel is playing Gameboy DS, while Mike is grooving in the background, headphones over his ears playing music.
Joel: Oh yeah...I'll show that Melina...I'M the one who owns at Mario Kart DS, dammit!
Mike: *singing along with song* White...liiiiiiines, blow awaaaaaaaay....
Sum Guy shows up with his ever present microphone.
SG: Hello guys.
Joel: Hi, Sum.
Mike: FREEZE! ROCK!
Joel: MIKE...turn off the tunes, it's interview time, man.
Mike: Aw, man.
SG: Sorry. Well gentlemen, in what proved to be an outstanding match, you both were defeated by the tag team champions, the Ragnals. You've lost a little momentum it seems, do you think you can bounce back?
Joel: Man...I never thought of it that way.
Mike: Joel...what do we do?
Joel: Should...should we change our gimmick?
The crowd can be heard booing furiously.
Mike and Joel: Nah.
Joel: Well Sum Guy, I'll tell you what the Nyrds are going to do. We're going to stay the course...
Mike: A thousand points of light...
Joel: And soon, I mean real soon, we'll be holding those titles again. I know we said that like last week, and we didn't really carry through on that...but this time, I means it, dammit!
Mike: CAAAAAAN YOOOOOUUU DIG IIIIIIIIIITTTT?
Sum Guy: Uh...yes I can.
Mike: Good...now back to my tunes.
Mike turns his song back on, and begins to dance some more. Joel begins playing his game again.
Sum Guy: *pointing at Joel's Gameboy* Can I...
Joel: No.
|
|
|
Post by cattlemutilation on Dec 22, 2005 23:12:56 GMT -5
Camera cuts into a dark room with a man sitting on a chair.
AJ Helms: Hello EWT. I’m here to utterly and completely destroy you. I will mutilate myself if I have to, just so I can destroy you. Your little precious titles, I don’t need them. My titles and championships shall be the blood of the EWT wrestlers. I am ready for any of you so called wrestlers. I will show you what pain really is.
Camera cuts out of room, as AJ is laughing manically and talking to himself….
|
|
DQorDie
Bubba Ho-Tep
Believe in yourself & ROCK N ROLL!!!
Posts: 635
|
Post by DQorDie on Dec 22, 2005 23:43:52 GMT -5
Mean Gene is inside the ring & ready to cut another interview for the 20 or so folks reading this at home.
Mean Gene Okerlund: Ladies & Gentlemen it was only less than a week ago that the EWT made their annual trip to Iraq with Season’s Beatingsto help support the fighting men & women who will not be home here in the U.S. as well as their other homelands this Holiday Season. At Season’s Beatings we were treated to many classic bouts that will go down in history here in the EWT. We have a new Tri-State Champion as Maelstrom took back his title from the impressive rookie, Chance Confidence. Also we have a NEW World Heavyweight Champion in Mozie as he & Limey really took it to the limit showing us all why EWT is the organization to watch. But unfortunately for some not all titles changed hands that evening. Which brings me to my next guest. Though he didn’t come home with the gold nor did he exactly follow the rules of his match, but since he did a couple of decent submissions will be nice to him anyway. He is the Genetic Superman himself.....Accompanied by his creator ”The Doctor of Muscletology” Dr. Frederick Delavier he is the 6-time Scammy Award Winner.......................FLEX.....MAGNIFICENT!
The choir is in place singing ever so softly “Hallelujah!”as they begin to pick up the pace & bust into it. As soon as their voices collide in unison The Flexettes file out one by one from behind the curtain. Every other one goes to an individual side as the choir gets louder as Dr. Frederick Delavier rolls out on his wheelchair & Flex comes out right behind him. They get to the beginning of the guard rails as Flex looks around with a smile on his face & breaks it down with some poses followed by his signature pose he now calls the Flex-O-Matic Delight (one muscle up while the opposite hand presents it to the crowd & vice versa).
After he finishes up they make it into the ring. Flex walking over the top rope & Delavier with assisstance as his wheel chair is put into the ring.
Mean Gene commences the interview.
MG: Flex Magnificent....I am going to cut to the chase.....It’s severals days after the PPV & you DON’T have the OX Division Title. What happened?!
The fans begin chanting “HE CAN’T WRESTLE!!!” *clap clap clap clap clap* over & over again. Flex has a look of disdain on his face, but continues with the interview.
Flex Magnificent: Listen politely at wut I yam abowt do dell you, Mean Gene!!! It is plain und simple do everyone who saw de Post Per View, who were dere in Eye Rake, & de people in de back. SPAZ CHEATED!!! *The fans begin booing Flex as he & Dr. Delavier nod their head in cocky agreement* Oh it is tru. Und all you Spazophiles must agree! Let’s take a look at de footage!
A scene begins to play on the screen from Season’s Beatings of the Lord Mount-Evans Rules match for the OX Division title as the match is shown being restarted by the referee. Flex begins arguing with the ref as Spaz rolls him up while sitting down on his legs. Flex power kicks out & sends Spaz sternum first into the ropes knocking him backwards. Flex still has his legs up as Spaz falls back on him accidently getting in a Backlund Bridge for the pin.
The footage stops.
MG: OK, where did he cheat?
FM: *surprised* Wut? You did not see? He used de ropes! De rules were dat NO ONE could use de ropes und he bounced off of dem to get de pin! Are you kidding me Gene. Dose were de rules!
MG: You’re right, but what happened to Spaz was by accident!
FM: Not only huv you been losing yo hair, but you appear do be losing yo funchunal copacidy do function!
MG: What is that suppose to mean?
FM: You jus’ proved my point, Mean Gene. But anyway....As I had said at de PPV. I defeated Spaz fair und square und do give him a rematch well....NUH UH!!! Spaz like all yo Australian ancestry you huv once again proved de millions correctly...You are nuttin but a thief who deserves do go back do de mid-card wit his crappy Home Shopping Club wurl tidle belt wit de cubex ciconia diamonds on it. Yo say you paid fo it wit yo own money? Lem guess? Yo ugly decrepit ol’ grandmama send you $20 fo de Kristmas dat she got from her rapidly running out Social Security check. But dis is a reality check fo you Spaz....I yam de EWT centerpeice und Maniflex Destiny let you know dat full well when I slammed yo 2nd rate limey head into de exposed turnbuckle afteruhwurs......But dat is now why I yam here Mean Gene....I yam on do better projects, Mean Gene. More...magkneeficent projects. Projects dat will boost my stock up tru de roof, Mean Gene.
MG: Really? What could it be?!
FM: This holiday weekend Mean Gene....I yam doing a cooking show!
MG: A WHAT?!
FM: Did you not hear me, Mean Gene? *starts yelling in Mean Gene’s ear* I SAID A COOKING SHOW!!!!
MG: *holds his ears after Flex is through yelling at him* ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! I heard you the first time. A cooking show *Flex is about to tell Gene again, but Gene waves him off* I’ll bite...Tell me about your...cooking show.
FM: It is quite simple, Gene. A lot of EWT Supuhstars huv tried do do otha projects with complete und utter failure und humiliation. I mean who watched de Ultimo Chocula show? It flopped like his Toolshed Division reign. Not do mention otha fire rustlers who jus’ couldn’t cut it in de world outside of rustling. So I thought....If they can’(t) do den I CAN!!! Und wut bettuh den do a one-time show do steer clear all dose EWT fans from stuffing demselves wit unhealthy disgusting food dat shall clog dere arteries, cause cardiovascular diseases such as stroke und hut attacks. It is a shame Mean Gene dat people look up do disgusting slobs like Paul Podanski who look like de s*** eating pigs dat he eats wit his FREEDOM FRIES!!! I spit on dem! Und de soda pop. I spit on dat doo! So Mean Gene dis weekend you will get some lovin’ from my oven und den some!
MG: And then some? On second thought don’t tell me. Thank you Flex Magnificent. We shall all be looking forward this weekend to your cooking show. Oh...by chance does it have a name?
FM: Yes Mean Gene, It will be called “How Do Not Be a Stubborn Fat Peice of Crap Und Start Eating Right For Once In Yo Fat Flabby Life....Wit Flex Magnificent & “De Doktor of Muscletology” Herr Doktor Frederick Delavier.” I hope dat you shall all dune in.
”Hallelujah!” begins playing as Flex lays it down with a number of magnificent flexes. Dr. Delvair applauds his finest creation as Mean Gene takes us to break.
MG: Whatta name. We’ll make sure to tune in. Thank you your magnificence & you too doctor. We’ll be right back with some more EWT Action in a moment.
Cut to commercial for Corporeal Coronel’s Live Action War Play Set comes with live hostage, video camera, & active cluster bomb....Sorry shrapnel wounds not included
|
|
|
Post by paulpodanski on Dec 23, 2005 2:09:21 GMT -5
Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall... and it is for The EWT Toolshed Championship!
Jack Foley is standing in the ring... ALA Velocity/Heat Jobber style entrance.
Announcer: Currently in the ring... Jack Foley!!!
Jack waves to the crowd all innocent like.
Next " Let the Bodies Hit the Floor " Starts up and Paul Podanski storms then stage, saluting the crowd with a free hand, his other carrying his toys. His belt around his neck.
Announcer: And his opponent... from Birmingham Alabama... weighing in at 312 pounds, he is the EWT Toolshed Champion and The Drunken Demon... Paul Podanski!!!
Paul quickly charges down the ramp, sliding into the ring and not waiting long as Foley tries to intercept, grabbing him and pounding his back with fists. Paul isn't even affected as he stands up and starts thing soff with some stiff fists to his chest, face, and anywhere else he feels like punching, sending Foley reeling backwards, into the turnbuckle nearby. Paul backs up a bit... then charges forward for a huge shoulder block right into the chest!
Foley groans, holding his chest and backing out of the corner. He immediately gets hoisted up and slammed with a one armed Spine Buster! Paul smirks and walks over to his bag, pulling out... a Baseball Bat! The crowd cheers
Paul walks over, standing right over Foley, his hands in the right batting position as Foley slowly rises to his feet, only to get a smack right in his ribs. He groans, falling back onto his knees, immediately after getting another clunk right on the noggin. He obviously been busted open by now.
Paul tosses the bat away... picking up Foley, who manages to stand still. He lifts him up immediately for the Manhattan Drop!!! Foley yelps and starts bouncing up and down, cluthcing his junk, Paul backing up and bouncing off the ropes... charging forward and nailing the big boot to his face.
Podanski walks back over to his toy bag... digging around inside some more... pulling out one of those ridable bouncy balls. He sits down on it and starts bouncing around in the ring, bouncing over onto Foley's laid chest... and then atop of it. Foley sells it like he's being crushed by a Metric Ton of weight or something.
Eventually paul gets up off the rubber ball, kicks it away, then again runs off the ropes and nails a Senton Drop onto Foley. He's about to cover... but goes against. Instead... he points to a nearby turnbuckle. The crowd pops as he quickly hoists himself... then just as he did to Ultimo Last Night, leaps off with the newly named Appaulachian Mountain Sault...
It connects and he immediately goes for a cover. 1....2....3!!!
Announcer: Here is your winner... and still the Toolshed Champion.... Paul Podanski!!!
Podanski smirks, taking his belt from the ref again and quickly exitting the ring... as we cut to the next segment.
|
|
|
Post by Oceanic on Dec 23, 2005 2:41:43 GMT -5
Sum Guy: "Ho! Ho! Ho! I'm Sum Guy and I started early with the eggnog! I'm here once again with Oceanic and I'm asking the biggest question of 'em all! What do you want for Christmas?"
Oceanic: "Truthfully, I already got my present. The GND Division has become a major part of the EWT, just like I wanted when I first came here. We have a fantastic champion in Carla, several to notch superstars such as Linda, Rosa, Chrysta and Tanya, and we have the respect of all the guys in the back. We're no longer looked at as pieces of T&A but as equals with the men. That's the best present I could ask for. While I'm at it, I also would like to make a New Year's Resolution. In 2006, I'm going to do my part to see that the GND Division becomes even better. This is just a start. I think if we train harder, recruit more of the top women athletes in the world, and put on better matches we could easily become the premier federation on the planet."
Sum Guy: "Neat. So, did you happen to notice what I'm wearing on my head?"
Oceanic: "You're wearing a head band with a sprig of mistletoe hanging off of it on a wire."
Sum Guy: "You know what that means, right?"
Oceanic: "Ummmmm........I'm afraid so. It means that my five over protective older brothers, who watch the EWT every week, would track you down and do something very bad that I would rather not see happen."
Sum Guy: "Five....older...brothers?"
Oceanic: "Yeah. The smallest one is 6'3", 264 lbs. And they are all professional rugby players."
Sum Guy: "Oh............."
Sum Guy removes his head band and backs away.
Sum Guy: "So that does it. I'm Sum Guy and I NEVER TOUCHED HER! HONEST!"
|
|
|
Post by craigkendo on Dec 23, 2005 3:08:09 GMT -5
*”Ich Will” hits. The crowd starts booing, as Tony Chang comes out…by himself? Chang, without any of his fellow Connection members, is out, making his way to the ring dressed in what would count for formal dress in The Connection; shades, leather trenchcoat, and black leather pants. He appears to be in a good mood for some reason.*
JR: What the hell? That’s Tony Chang! What the Hell is The Viper doing here? He hasn’t even got a match!!
*Chang makes his way down to the ring, microphone in hand. He stares down a few crowd members and punks many of them out by trying a superkick, only to stop mere inches from their faces. Chang laughs maliciously at this, and he slides into the ring. He then dusts the microphone off, and starts speaking.*
Chang: HEATHENS!!! You witnessed the extension of the most dominant faction in EWT today!!! The Ice Queen has joined our ranks, and will be our guiding light! As our unholy aura spreads, our message will be delivered far and wide!!!
*The crowd chant “YOU SUCK!” to Chang. He simply laughs it off, unusually.*
Chang: I do not wish even to acknowledge the worthless opinions of the VULGAR masses at this point! My dream…my DESIRE…it will all become a reality, once The Connection has obliterated those Ragnal CLOWNS and re-united Dear Linda with us…THE WAY IT’S MEANT TO BE!!!! And speaking of the Ragnals…
*The crowd chants “RAGNALS!!! RAGNALS!!!” Chang smiles at this.*
Chang: (Taking it in his stride) The very same, infidels. The very same Ragnals that you witnessed experiencing our wrath, firsthand. I wish to address them. In particular, Joseph.
JR: What?! What does Tony Chang want with Joe Ragnal?!
Carl Guerrero: Well, JR, Tony attacked Joe with a pretty heavy beatdown when The Connection revealed itself to the Ragnals. Perhaps he wants to apologise.
JR: Apologise my Oklahoma ass, Carl! Chang wants to rub the poor kid’s face in it!!
*The crowd once again chant “RAGNALS!! RAGNALS!!”. Chang chuckles.*
Chang: (Escalating into a more aggressive tone) Joseph, you experienced one of the most brutal and devastating moves EWT has ever seen. I am willing to wager that you are still feeling the effects even now. I know some would say that attacking you as unexpectedly as we did was underhanded…but Joseph, try to understand! You threatened our Connection!! You ran like a dog to your sister…your FALSE sister, when she was simply confronted by the TRUTH from OUR NEW INITIATE, CHRYSTA!!!
*The crowd chant “SHE’S NO RAGNAL!!!” Chang is starting to get annoyed.*
Chang: (to the crowd) HOLD YOUR TONGUES!!!!! (The crowd boos Chang, and he continues to speak.) Joseph, unlike your petty self, *I* wish to settle this as a TRUE warrior should. As you and the millions of HEATHENS have noticed, I am alone. The Leader, The Protégé, and our two newest elite members are nowhere in sight. This shows the difference between me and you, Joseph. Unlike yourself, I do not hide behind my arrogant brother, my FALSE sister, or my loose, despicable, vulgar w****!!!!
*The crowd verbally rip Chang apart with boos.*
JR: WHAT DID HE CALL TANYA FLAIRE? That woman’s a damn saint!!
Chang: (Continuing, somewhat more violently than before) So, Joseph, if you TRULY wish to settle this matter, I wish you to come down to confront me, BY YOURSELF as I have done!!!
*Chang leans against the ropes, looking down at the Toomi-Tron. No-one comes out. Chang laughs.*
Chang: (Mockingly) What’s wrong, Joseph? Do you truly fear me? Or do you not wish to face me without your so-called “family” watching over you? Either way, it seems you’re as cowardly as your so-called sister!
*”Fade” hits, and the crowd gets to their feet. Joe Ragnal is out, and he is by himself!!! He makes his way to the ring, serious look on his face. He gets into the ring, and stares down Chang. Chang looks surprised that Joe actually tuned up, and a meticulous grin appears on his face.*
Chang: So…you DO possess a certain degree of fortitude. I must commend you for that. So… (Chang adapts a “casual” look) …how’s it going, Joseph? Are you having a good day so far? Alright, let’s get down to (air quotes) “brass tacks” now. I know you can’t be happy with receiving one of the most brutal kicks I’ve ever given…but I want to make it up to you!
Carl Guerrero: See, JR! He’s apologising! It takes a REAL man to do that!
JR: I don’t like the looks of this, Carl…
*Joe does not look like he trusts Chang at all, but Chang continues, in a friendly manner.*
Chang: I know that I probably should not have attacked you like I did…but I did what was necessary to protect my fellow Connection members. I also apologise for my words earlier. I had to get you to the ring somehow! It worked, did it not?
*Joe retains a cold glare at Chang, not buying into it.*
Chang: Oh, come now. What was it? Was it the comment about that Saucy woman? Your brother, perhaps? Joseph…I’m only telling it as I see it! Try to understand! I have a proposal for you!
*Joe grabs a microphone. The crowd cheer him as he speaks.*
Joe: Chang, do you really expect me to believe you after that crap you pulled? Let’s get one thing straight, psycho!! Linda is a Ragnal, and I’m standing by her no matter what!! And furthermore, I don’t care WHAT that frosty FREAK says, CHRYSTA IS NO RAGNAL!!!
*SHE’S NO RAGNAL chants start. Joe keeps a serious glare fixed on Chang, and he speaks again.*
Joe: And as for your “proposal”, you can take it and STICK IT SIDEWAYS, GOT THAT?
*Chang looks shocked as the crowd pop madly, chanting “JOE! JOE! JOE!”*
Chang: (Trying to calm things down, almost sucking up) Wait…Joseph…I’m giving you the opportunity of a lifetime! I want to prove to you that we can come to a mutual agreement!! So…I wish you to take my offer of a handshake. Just…just as a symbol of my sincerest regrets. What I did wasn’t personal, so let us not make it personal.
*Chang extends his hand. The crowd boos him, but Chang doesn’t bother acknowledging them. Joe considers this, but looks back at Chang, and speaks again.*
Joe: You know what, Chang? You aren’t even worth it.
*Joe drops his microphone, and goes to exit the ring. Chang sighs, then shrugs. He then rushes Joe and…TONFA!!! TONFA SHOT TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD!!! Chang mercilessly brings his tonfa down on Joe as Joe tries to fight back!! Chang stomps at Joe, and then smashes his tonfa down onto Joe’s head over and over again!! Joe has been busted wide open!!! Chang rubs at the open wound as Joe screams in pain before smearing Joe’s blood across his chest!! Chang kicks Joe over to his front, and holds his arms out in prayer as Joe tries to lift himself up! Chang lifts his leg high for the Viperbite kick…IT’S THE RAGNALS!!!! THE RAGNALS STORM THE RING!!! Linda, Mike and Tanya Flaire rush in!! Mike runs straight at Chang, but Chang exits the ring!! Smiling psychotically, eyes in a devious glare, Chang laughs. As Tanya and Linda see to Joe, who is bleeding badly, Mike yells at Chang, audibly calling him a “SON OF A B****!!”, and demanding he come back. Chang speaks into the microphone again.*
Chang: I have to be honest with you, Joseph. I would have hit you even if you did accept my offer. But if you hadn’t defied me so openly, I would have made it hurt a whole lot less!!!
*Chang laughs psychotically as Linda and Tanya try to help Joe. Tanya is close to tears as Linda keeps calling out her brother’s name.*
JR: What a sick, psychotic disturbed little man!!! Joe Ragnal’s a human being, dammit!!
Carl Guerrero: Well, in his defence, JR, it really isn’t a good idea to turn your back on Tony Chang like that. Joe must have known that to some extent.
JR: Oh come on, now! That was a heinous assault by that damn Tony Chang, and for what? Does he really consider this a “victory” for that accursed Connection?
*Chang goes to leave, but then turns to face the ring one last time*
Chang: Oh, one more thing, Joseph. I meant every single comment about you, your brother, your FALSE SISTER…AND THAT LOOSE VULGAR LITTLE W****!!! (Pause. Chang then smirks.) Just so we’re clear on that matter.
*”Ich Will” hits, as Chang walks to the back, a loud amount of heat following.*
*All the Ragnals are seeing to Joseph now. EMTs rush in, but Joe pushes them away, demanding he get to his feet himself. Joe quickly tries to get up, but he falls against the ropes, dizzy from the tonfa shots or losing blood. Mike approaches him to make sure he’s alright. Although he needs to get his head stitched up, Joe declines the help of EMTs. The crowd cheer his resolve. Tanya and Mike support Joe and help him to the back as “Fade” plays to the crowd cheering him. Linda looks on, saddened that Chrysta has brought the battle to her family.*
*Fade to commercial.*
|
|
|
Post by The Lach is very tired on Dec 23, 2005 3:36:14 GMT -5
*Toom E Dangerously is sitting is his office & there is a knock on the door.*
TED: Enter
*Spaz walks in his new OX title over his shoulder.*
S: Hey there boss. I have an idea for my title match at the next PPV.
TED: I'm listening.
S: Well I have been wrestling mainly singles matches lately. Each one a different type mind you, but they have all been one on one matchups. So for this PPV I want to give the Spazphiles a different kind of show. I don't want to defend against 1 guy but 5!
TED: I see well which guys & what sort of match?
S: You remember a while ago a PPV called Stone Age?
TED: Of course, that was where your first OX Title reign ended if I remember rightly.
S: It was, in a gauntlet match. So for the next PPV I want a 6 man Gauntlet match!
TED: I think we can make that happen. Which men have you chosen to compete?
S: That is a good question, I wnat to face 5 men who I have never wrestled before, all of these men are yet to hold any EWT gold so I think it's fair they get a shot at the OX title. These men are:
Virus EN Bunk Curly Long Bolt Bacana Deamon Cohln
TED: That's quite a lineup Spaz. Are you sure you want to do this?
S: I'm damn sure. I want to show you, the wrestlers & the fans of the EWT once & for all that I am the real deal. I am a fighting champion & will take on anyone in any kind of match. Book it for the PPV boss. A gauntlet match for the EWT OX Division Championship!
TED: I will make it so.
*Cut To Commercial for The Tim "The Toolman" Terror DVD*
|
|
|
Post by Poker Joker on Dec 23, 2005 9:08:27 GMT -5
(The scene opens up in the E.W.T. arena. The fans are intently waiting for the next match to begin. Some are just returning to their seats after the brief intermission between matches. The ring announcer steps into the ring with a microphone in his hand. Already standing in the ring is one of the competitors for the next match.)
*ANNOUNCER*: Ladies and gentlemen, the next match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, currently in the ring, hailing from the West Indies and weighing in at 237 lbs..... "Special Delivery" Jones!!!
(S.D. Jones holds his hands in the air as the crowd applauds modestly for him. He adjusts his bright red wrestling shorts as the announcer prepares to announce his opponent. "Like A Virgin" by Madonna starts playing over the loudspeaker and the crowd erupts with boos.)
*ANNOUNCER*: His opponent, making his way to the ring area, hailing from St. Paul, Minnesota and weighing in at 226 lbs.... Billy "THE VIRGIN" Ubermark!!!
(The crowd continues to boo as the spotlight shines on the entryway. Everyone waits expectantly for Billy Ubermark to make his appearance. After several seconds, however, the boos die down as Billy Ubermark fails to come down the ring asile. Billy's entry music fades out, and the confused announcer tries to introduce Billy again.)
*ANNOUNCER*: .... Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark!
(The crowd boos, again, but to no avail as Billy doesn't appear in the entryway.)
*ANNOUNCER*: .... um.... Billy "The Virgin"...
(Suddenly Billy Ubermark appears on the ToomiTron screen, with a cocky smile on his face. He is wearing a brown, leather jacket that comes down below his waist, and is standing in front of a large, ornate, outdoor fountain. Beside him is his new manager, Moniqua. She is dressed in a white leather coat, and carrying her little dog, Fru-Fru. In the background, the sound of running water can be heard.)
*BU*: Hey, hey, hey, hey! Mr. Michael Buffer-wanna-be. You can quit trying to announce me to the crowd, because I'm not there.
(The crowd boos as the announcer, puts away his microphone and steps out of the ring. Inside the ring, S.D. Jones looks around with a puzzled expression on his face.)
*BU*: Get a load of this crap! I'm a former Tri-State Champion! I am THE hottest young superstar in the E.W.T.! And I'm now one-half of the fastest-rising tag-team currently in the E.W.T.'s ranks! So you'd think, for my first match back after being injured, that the guys in charge of the E.W.T. would give me a worthy opponent. But who do I get instead? S.D. JONES?! Give me a break!
(S.D. Jones becomes noticably pissed off in the ring. He stands with his hands on his hips, staring angrily at the ToomiTron as Billy Ubermark continues on. In the background, fans start chanting "Bullcrap!")
Anyone else would get a QUALITY opponent to make their return against, PLUS the E.W.T. would've built the match up to promote it to the fans. So why don't they do it for me? Virgin Discrimination, obviously.
(As Billy pauses for a moment, Moniqua blanches an exagerated sad look on her face, and pats Billy on the back. The fans boo with fury at Billy.)
*BU*: Yep! Nothing's changed since I left, E.W.T. I'm still looked down upon because of my sexual status. So, since the guys in booking have seen fit to discriminate against me, I've decided to discriminate against them, and just take the night off. You see, I'm not at the arena tonight. Instead, I'm here in beautiful Milan, Italy with my manager, Moniqua, and my new partner, Ultimo Chocula.
(Billy looks off to the other side of Monique, but Chocula isn't there.)
*BU*: Oops! He must still be taking in some of the scenery. Hey, Chocula... Chocula, we're on!
(The camera pulls back some to expand its view. As it does so, Ultimo Chocula is seen standing on the side of the fountain with his back to the camera. The sound of running water can still be heard, but as the camera pulls back, more, it becomes obvious that the fountain is not running. Instead, Ultimo Chocula appears to be the sourse of the "running water" sound, as he relieves himself in the fountain. Moniqua turns her head, embarassed, as the sound of Chocula urinating ceases. He pulls up his zipper before turning around, and jumping off the side of the fountain to join his comrades.)
*UC*: Hey! Sorry, Billy. I was just taking a whiz. I drank enough sparkling cider at the resteraunt to drown a rhino.
*MONIQUA*: Signore Chocula, you know better than that! Handsome boys do not "take a whiz;" they "relieve themselves." ... And in this case, let's go a step further and say that you weren't doing that, either. Instead, you were "taking in the scenery."
*BU* (laughing): Looked to me more like the scenery was taking in Chocula.
*MONIQUA*: William! Handsome Boys do not need to make crude jokes about that kind of behavior.
*BU* (rolls his eyes, slightly): Right, right! Look, like I was saying, I'm not going to waste my time wrestling some "second-rate." So instead, Moniqua has taken us to Milan, Italy. Chocula and I are each getting a new wardrobe to increase our "hot factor!"
(Chocula begins showing off the new clothes he's wearing. He's wearing a silk shirt, white pants, and a pair of fancy sunglasses.)
*UC*: No kidding! You wanna talk about f****** hot, take a good look at this!! This shirt, ALONE, cost more than half the people in the audience put together probably make in a year! And guess what! I'm only gonna wear it once! How do you slobs like that?
(Chocula leans back against the fountain with a huge grin on his face as the crowd starts actually throwing things at the ToomiTron.)
*BU*: Yep! And this jacket I'm wearing, 100% leather. The finest in Europe! And after we're done getting fitted for our wardrobes, we're going to go out and hit the clubs, so Chocula and I can find ourselves some hot ladies and get us some ACTION! Right, Moniqua?
*MONIQUA*: Sorry, William. I'm afraid we're not going to be able to hit the clubs, tonight.
*BU* (slightly upset): But... Italian women.... this is my chance to finally score...
(Moniqua presses a finger to Billy's lips, silencing him.)
*MONIQUA* (calmly interrupting Billy): Shh. William. First of all, Handsome Boys do not "score" with the ladies; they "make romance" to them. And secondly, we'll have plenty of time to hit clubs when we get back to America. But right now, we don't have time. We have to spend our time in Italy getting you two ready for our BIG DEBUT, next week, when we get back to the States! I want you two to look as fashionable as humanly possible!
*BU*: But, the Italian women.... they'll love me....
(Suddenly, Moniqua's dog starts barking angrily at Billy.)
*FRU-FRU*: GRRRR! YIP! YIP-YIP! YIP!
*BU*: (startled by the dog) OK! OK! You win! Who cares, anyways. When I get back to the states, I'll be so drop-dead sexy, that women are going to melt when they meet me.
(Moniqua laughs as she puts Fru-Fru on the ground. She takes both Chocula and Billy by their arms and brings them in close beside her.)
*MONIQUA*: Oh, William! Signore Chocula! You are BOTH going to be the sexiest, hottest tag-team the E.W.T. has ever seen!
*UC*: Damn, have you got that right! I mean, its hard to believe I could be any hotter than I already was, but.... Holy S***! It's too bad Michaelangelo ain't around to sculpt me!
(Moniqua laughs again.)
*MONIQUA*: Ladies and gentlemen, take a good, hard look at my Handsome Boys! Already, the competition pales in comparison to them! Never before has the E.W.T. seen such a magnificent pair of specimines. You'll notice, however, that each of these fine gentlemen have their own special styles. They need something to tie them together and make their styles blend in more. And nothing will do that better than a matching pair of GOLD BELTS! Like the E.W.T. Tag-Team Championship Belts that are currenlty held by that motley, rag-tag pair, The Ragnals. Its a disgrace that such perfectly beautiful belts would be wasted by hanging around the guts of those two miserable creatons, but that'll change, eventually. Soon, we shall liberate the Tag-Team Title Belts from the Ragnals, and they will hang perfectly around the waists of my Handsome Boys. Won't that be MARVELOUS?!
(Chocula nods his head in the affirmative, as he adjusts his sunglasses.)
*UC*: Damn straight! Anyways, you heard Moniqua. We've got to get back to picking out our wardrobe for our Team Debut, next week. So, Ciao, you jive ass turkeys!
*MONIQUA*: C'mon, boys! We still have lots of shopping to do!
*UC*: That's right! We have to get me a new watch to go with some of these suits. What do you guys think? Should I go Rolex or that ten Euro job that street vender was selling that had Huckleberry Hound on it?
(Moniqua and Billy look at each other and grin. They then look back at Chocula and all three of them bust out laughing.)
*MONIQUA*: Oh, Segnior Chocula, you're SO funny. Rolex, of course!
*UC* (with a huge smile on his face): Of course! Ha! Ha! (looks away from the other and looks disappointed) Crap!
*BU*: Oh yeah. And S.D. Jones... you can just go ahead and have the win in this match. You can think of it as a Christmas Gift, because not having me there to kick your second-rate ass is the ONLY way you were going to win, tonight. Later, chump.
(With that, the ToomiTron goes dark. The crowd roars angrily with disapproval, and chants of "Screw the Virgin" can be heard in parts of the arena. S.D. Jones, who is still standing in the ring, waves his hands in frustration at the screen. The referee speaks briefly with the announcer, who then addresses the crowd.
*ANNOUNCER*: Here is the official decision.... your winner of this match, as the result of a forfeit, "Special Delivery" Jones!
(S.D. Jones raises his hand above his head in victory, but still has a scowl on his face after being screwed out of his match. The crowd gives S.D. a moderate applause, but then goes back to disgruntled "Screw the Virgin" chants. As S.D. Jones leaves the ring, the sceen fades to black.)
|
|
Deamon Cohln
Don Corleone
AND THAT'S THE GODDAMN TRUTH!
Posts: 1,962
|
Post by Deamon Cohln on Dec 23, 2005 10:49:23 GMT -5
*The camera fades in to the ring. ICP’s- Halls of illusion suddenly hits and out comes Deamon and Jacola Cohln. One is much larger then the other but Deamon seems to be leading in. Deamon slides under the rope as Jacola just climbs over it.*
Joey Styles: This is gong to be one hell of a match folks! The Cohln Brothers versus the Nyrds!
Sum Guy: Yeah, the Cohlns. Yay.
Announcer: Now entering the ring, at a combined weight of 465 pounds. The Cohlns!
*The crowd boos them as Deamon hops on the top rope with his usual routine.*
Joey: Well these guys are cocky Sum.
Sum: That may lead to their downfall. Hopefully.
*Deamon and Jacola are looking toward the ramp for their opponents. All of a sudden you hear a phrase come out of the loudspeakers*
It’s all about the Pentiums, baby.
*The crowd explodes into a frenzy as the Nyrds come out, jumping around hip-hop style*
Joey: The crowd just seems to love these Nyrds Sum!
Sum: To bad it wasn’t that way in school! Ha!
*Joel and Mike slide into the ring. Mike gets in the center to try his Ron Killings dance but before he can even start Deamon hits him with a flying clothesline tom the side of the head.*
Joey: The Cohlns want to start this quick!
Deamon takes the fallen Mike and picks him up while Jacola is pounding on Joel at the turnbuckle. Deamon whips Mike into the ropes and tries to grab him. Mike counters with a flying knee! Deamon is down but him gets back up and Joel finally gets away from Jacola. Joel and Mike head off to their corners as Deamon and Mike stare at each other from across the ring. Deamon moves forward and snaps to try and tackle Mike but he moves away. Deamon sees his opportunity and knocks Joel off the rope as Mike come over and hits Deamon in revenge. Mike grabs Deamon and tosses him against the opposite ropes and jumps up hitting the huracarana while Deamon is still running! Mike goes for the pin.
1... Deamon kicks out early.
Deamon gets up and is visibly irritated. Mike goes in for a move but Deamon counters it to a corkscrew arm drag. Deamon still has his hand and lock Mike in an armbar. Mike is able to brake it and attacks Deamon with a few forearms. Deamon brake the streak and whips Mike into the corner Jacola is in. Joel is now yelling at the referee to look at the other corner where Jacola is choking out Mike with the tag rope. This just makes the ref stay and yell at him Deamon move over and lands a Missle Dropkick as Jacola lets go of Mike. Mike falls to the mat. Deamon goes for the pin.
1... 2... Kickout by Mike!
Mike is inching toward his partner and the crowd can feel it. They are cheering but are stopped when Deamon kicks him in the back halting his progress. Deamon picks him up and tosses him off of the ropes and goes for a DDT but mike counters into a bulldog! They both are down now and the ref begins the count. 1! The two are crawling for they’re corner slowly. 2! They just can’t seem to reach. 3! 4! They’re partners are reaching out! 5! 6! Double tag! Now Jacola and Joel are in the ring together Joe runs over and is stopped in his tracks by Jacola who is just staring at him. Jacola cocks back and nails Joel in the head sending him to the mat. Jacola picks him up and body slams him back down.
Joey: Jacola is just manhandling them out there.
Jacola tries to pick Joel up again but is distracted by Mike who is on the turnbuckle yelling at Jacola. He moves over to teach Mike a lesson when Joel comes out of nowhere and hits him with a dropkick to the head which knocks him over leaving Mike to grab his head and bounce it off of the ropes. Joel goes jumps up and spins around Jacola until he can hit a DDT on him sending him to the mat. Joel goes for the pin.
1... 2...Deamon interferes and saves the match!
Deamon is now kicking Joel while he’s down and Jacola is still hurt. Deamon heads back to his corner and drags Jacola with him. He grabs the tag rope and tags himself in. Mike comes in and sends some forearms to Deamon as the crowd cheers but Deamon counters and tosses him to the ropes but Joel comes back and kicks Deamon in the gut. He places Deamon’s head between his les and goes for the Bravestarr Clash! but Deamon counter and tosses him into the turnbuckle! Deamon motions something at Jacola and Deamon goes for the Deamon Doom DDT! He hits it! Deamon goes for the pin as Jacola takes sweeps Mikes legs out from under him at the other side of the arena causing him to bash his head on the apron!
1... 2... 3 The bell rings and the Cohlns are in the ring victorius!
Joey: That’s ther first win as a tag team but damn did the have to earn it against those crafty Nyrds!
Sum: Watch out Joey Deamon’s about to speak.
Deamon: Everybody! Tonight you should go home and mark this date down on your calenders. This is the day that the Cohln Dynasty in EWT begins. And at the PPV this month I will claim my first true victory, when I defeat all those guys in the 6-man Gauntlet! It’s going to be a hell of a match but as you all have already figured out! *the crowd boos* I can’t lose! *the crowwd boos louder* Just watch out Spaz. You won’t be holding that title for much longer. AND THAT’S THE GODDAMN TRUTH!
*Deamon’s music hits and they walk out as the camera fades away.*
|
|
|
Post by Virus aka Captain No-Nuts on Dec 23, 2005 12:59:50 GMT -5
(The camera fades back to Virus's locker room, where he is shown softly chuckling as he watches Deamon's short, but intense, promo. Virus shakes his head, then Sum Guy comes bursting into the room. The door slams shut and latches forcefully behind him.)
Virus: What the...!?
SG: I'm Sum Guy and my interview senses were tingling. I'm here with Virus, one of the 5 men booked into a 6-man Gauntlet match with Spaz for the EWT OX Division title at the next Pay-Per-View! So, Virus, any thoughts?
Virus: Yes. First off, how the hell did you get here so quickly?
SG: Uh... actually, good question. I don't know.
Virus: Riiiight. Anyway, as far as that match goes, it'll be a challenge, and that I'm sure of. But I've got something all 5 of those other competitors in this match don't. I've got the height, I've got the weight, I've got the speed, and I've got the wrestling ability ALL IN ONE PACKAGE! Sure, Spaz has got some nice skills, and he's got the speed. Curly's got speed AND a little bit of ability, but that VLB hasn't gotten a clean win in I don't know how long. Deamon... well, I still need to study up on him, so I won't comment. Let's see, who else is there... Same for Bolt Bacana. EN Bunk, however, is the only person I'm not concerned with, because I've already faced him, several times. I know him, and I'm confident I'll be able to beat him if we face off in that Gauntlet.
Sum Guy: Can we wrap this up, Virus? I'm getting a little claustrophobic.
(Indeed, Sum Guy is sweating profusely and getting a little twitchy, even though the locker room is quite spacious. Virus, thinking SG is just acting, keeps going.)
Virus: So, no matter who it is, no matter what they think, I will stand tall over all of you at the next PPV. And anybody who thinks otherwise had better PREPARE... TO BE... INFECTED!
(SG is in a very, very bad way now, looking around nervously and twitching severely. Virus turns back to him.)
Virus: What's the next Pay-Per-View called, anyway?
SG: I DOOONN'T KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!
(Sum Guy darts over to the door before Virus can even muster a "WTF?" expression. Sum Guy gives the handle several tugs, but it won't open.)
SG: I'm Sum Guy, AND THE DOOR'S LOCKED TOO!!!
(Sum Guy backs up several steps, then charges the door like a rhino. The door bursts off its hinges, and Virus is left standing there, looking dumbstruck at what just happened as we fade to commercial.)
|
|