DQorDie
Bubba Ho-Tep
Believe in yourself & ROCK N ROLL!!!
Posts: 635
|
Post by DQorDie on Dec 27, 2005 2:45:15 GMT -5
The next segment begins as we hear “kitchen” music that can be heard on random episodes of “Ren & Stimpy” as we see Flex Magnificent & “The Doctor of Muscletology” Dr. Frederick Delavier in their everyday clothes wearing aprons preparing their ingredients for what looks like a tasty new segment. They are in a faux kitchen set that is also decorated in various culture’s holiday ornaments. We see Christmas garland & balls set up as well as a menorah & a pair of boxing gloves for Boxing Day. And what would the holidays be without some Afro-centric materials for Kwanza! As we see them prepare the title pops up on the screen. “How Do Not Be a Stubborn Fat Peice of Crap Und Start Eating Right For Once In Yo Fat Flabby Life....Wit Flex Magnificent & “De Doktor of Muscletology” Herr Doktor Frederick Delavier.” As the segment begins the camera adjusts to see the men far away as ”Mean Gene” Okerlund walks in view with a big smile on his face as he is ready to open the show. Mean Gene Okerlund: Hello everybody! I’m Mean Gene Okerlund here to help co-host “How To Not Be a Stubborn Fat Peice of Crap &....” Are you kidding me? *grabs the cuecard & looks at it then looks up at the camera with a stunned look* It keeps going on like that! Well...anyway....This is a very special EWT Holiday Cooking Special as we are invited into the kitchen of Flex Magnificent & his creator “The Doctor of Muscletology” Dr. Frederick Delavier, who will be cooking up some healthy dishes for this holiday season for the whole family. Mean Gene begins to walk up to the kitchen counter to meet up with Flex & Delavier who look surprised to see Gene in their kitchen.Dr. Frederick Delavier: Sacreblue! Mean Gene, what a magnificent surprise! Flex Magnificent: Mean Gene! Just in dime fo our Holiday Cooking Special! MG: Aaah thank you gentlemen. I am sure that you certainly have some loving in the oven for us today! FM: *stops & looks at Gene rather sternly* If dat is supposed do mean someting homosexual you huv come do de wrong place, Gene. MG: *stunned* No! No! No! Gentlemen, I mean you have prepared some delectable dishes for the fans at home to prepare for this festive holiday season! FM: Oooooh! Now dat you put it dat away den you are right Mean Gene. Me & muh creatuh, Doktuh Frederick Deluhveer have prepared some magkneeficent dishes for eveyone do try at home. Und since me und herr Docktuh are de best built, de best looking, und de best trained men in de EWT who bettuh den us do show de fans out dere to huv a healthy und delish holiday? MG: *under his breath* Well I can name a few other people.... FM: *hearing what Gene said* WUT IS DAT SUPPOSE DO MEAN!! !?!?! Flex & Delavier immediately get into Gene’s face as he backs up & throws another excuse their way.MG: Nothing! Nothing! I didn’t say anything! Both men abstain from putting Gene in the menu & refrain for the time being. Mean Gene regains his composure & continues.MG: My apologies gentlemen.*adjusts tie* Dr. FD: You certainly are, Gene, but pressing on we have cooked up a variety of foods for you today. MG: Wow....I’ll bite...What do you have on the menu today Herr Doctor? Dr. FD: Well Mean Gene we’ll actually have to keep those secret until the very end where we’ll give our detailed recipes for each dish. MG: Not only have you got my mouth watering, but also my mind. So even though we won’t know what you’ll be cooking until later then what will we be doing? FM: Well Mean Gene, a tru dish is not a tru dish until you huv de perfect appetizers. Doday we huv prepared some magkneeficent appetizers for you do try out. I made dem myself. MG: Mmmm I can smell them now. I wonder what it could be? Dr. FD: Mean Gene before we bring them out we only ask that you may please close your eyes. MG: That’s a rather unusual request, but hey...why the heck not? Bring it on! Mean Gene has his eyes closed as his smelling the aroma of what Flex will be bringing out. Flex walks off to open the oven door. He pulls out a tray & places it on the counter. The tray can’t be seen well, but Mean Gene looks very happy.FM: Are you ready Mean Gene? MG: Well with how EWT catering is nonexistent...YES! Boy, am I ready. Bring it on! Mean Gene opens his eyes to see a tray full of protein bars. All different flavors & sizes.MG: Are you kidding me? I’m not eating this crap! This may be fine for.... FM: FINE FO WUT?! MEAN GENE!!! I MADE DESE WIT MY OWN HAND!!! YOU WILL EAT DEM UND BE STRONG JUST LIKE A BULL! JUST LIKE I YAM!!! NOW EAT!!!! *Gene is quivering a bit as he looks at Flex* EAT!!!!! Gene picks up a bar & takes a nibble. He seems to like what he is eating & takes a larger bite.MG: Mmmm....You know what? This isn’t half bad. What is it? FM: Sauerkraut. Mean Gene immediately spits it out & begins gagging. Flex pats him on the back very hard as Gene begins hacking heavily now. FM: Glad do see you like it! As I had said. I made it wit my own hand. I squeezed it do perfection und purfectly blended it wit my own soy whey protein to get dat added boost! Not do menchon! MG: Ugh! What else is there? FM: But don’t you wunt de recipe? MG: Please, can we just get to the main course? FM: Wow! Someone is rather hungry!? Mean Gene...Like we said dis is a very secret main cose. I believe it is just about finished right now, Gene, but me und Herr Doktor will huv do leave you alone while we tend do de main course so it will be fit fo human consumpshun. MG: Ugh! Anything but Sauerkraut protein bars. Please! What do you want me to do in the meantime? FM: Well Gene like any main cose we must have plenty of vegetables do garland it with. You start by chopping some tomatoes, preparing a salad, scalloping some podados! Make something real nice fo when we bring in de main cose. MG: OK, but where is the main course? Is it in the oven? *tries to look but Flex stops him* FM: MEAN GENE! We said it wus a surprise! Now how would you like us do spoil a surprise you had? Plus....No mere oven in dis kitchen could hold wut we huv in store for you! MG Listen! You’ve given me one surprise too many! And yes I wouldn’t like you to spoil any of my surprises, but.... FM: Excellent! Den you will wait here as we get de main cose! Now you jus sit here & prepare de salads und de garlands for de MAIN COSE!!! Flex & Delavier exit the kitchen set before Gene can get a word in edgewise. They slam the door as Gene looks frustrated as he begins to prepare a salad by chopping some tomatoes.MG: How do I get myself into these situations? Sauerkraut protein bars? Give me a break. This is preposterous. This is the last time I go on assignment with the EWT. I mean this people in here are insane. At least in the WWF the insane people were controlled. Like The Bushwhackers or the Ultimate Warrior. At least those guys had some sort of boundaries...Well theeen again....*their sounds of a struggle outside of the kitchen. Grunts & yelling can be heard as mean Gene tries to look outside the window* I can’t see a thing! What are they doing out there? This can’t be! You’ve gotta be kidding me! Mean Gene steps back as a rumbling can be seen throughout the set. Flex is seen trying to budge into the doorway with something extremely huge on his back. He finally makes it through as the sides of the doorway break apart.
It’s a 15 ft. HEADLESS FISH!!! Flex & Delavier both throw it down on the counter completely ruining Mean Gene’s tossed salad.
Gene is completely in shock. He can’t get over what he’s seeing.MG: What in the?! You’ve gotta be kidding me! This is like a shark or some sort of sea life. What the hell is this? FM: You uh right Mean Gene it is uh shark. In fact it’s a HammerHead shark! It’s steamed to keep all those essential vitamins, minerals, und nutrients inside. You know if you boil things or fry them you uhre sucking out all those healthy things da make you muscular und magkneeficent as I yam. MG: This is incredible! Aren’t hammerhead sharks poisonous? FM: No dey are not, Mean Gene. In fact they are de opposite. Dat is merely a rumuh. Dey are not poisonous. MG: Oh what a site. I just have one question....Where in the green hell did you find dis? I don’t know any places that sell WHOLE HAMMERHEADS! FM: Well I do, Mean Gene. I found it in de EWT Arena in a dark dreary fish market in one of de rooms. Dere was no fish monger around so me und de good Doktor helped ourselves. MG: A fishmarket in the EWT arena. There is no fishmarket in the EWT arena! And you said you helped yourself!? How?! That is remarkable! FM: It was tough Mean Gene, but you uh talking do de Genetic Supuhmon himself. I MADE IT EASY! MG: Oh my dat is incredible. FM: Actually Mean Gene....it’s magkneeficent! But to save de best fo de last we prepared a special dish fo you Mean Gene. But you will hub do wait as dat is yet anothuh surprise we huv in sto’. Just hol’ on Mean Gene. Flex & Dr. Delavier once again exit the kitchen to get Mean Gene’s specially prepared dinner. Mean Gene comments as they are out.MG: Hmmm I wonder what it could be....On second thought maybe I shouldn’t. But that is very strange...There is no fish market in the EWT Arena. Unless.... Mean Gene is interrupted as Flex & Delavier arrive with a giant silver platter that is covered with a lid to protect what is underneath it. MG: Oh my! What could this be. FM: Well Gene...Since you uh our honored guest we thought we’d give you..... THE HEAD!!!Gene’s face begins to turn blue at the shocking site of a giant hammerhead shark’s head placed on a silver platter for him to eat.FM: Doesn’t it look great, Gene! We made it just fo you! I know we huv had some tough times we I huv snapped at you, but dis is do make up fo’ it! Und wit de leftovuhs you can make a soup!!! Mean Gene is looking worse for wear as he is now speechless. Flex isn’t finished yet.FM: Oh! And wit yo fish head we huv prepared a special elixir do quench yo man sized thrist while you eat! *Flex pulls out a blender & pours the contents into 3 cups for all 3 men* This is a special blend of ours, Gene. You’ll love it! MG: *struggling to not throw up* I don’t know Flex. This all seems fishy & I don’t mean just the smell emanating from this behemoth I think..... FM: Come on Gene take a sip! MG: I don’t know.... FM: TAKE A SIP!!!! Flex forces Gene to chug as Flex & Delavier join Gene & all chug in unison. They stop as Gene begins throwing up in the nearby sink. Flex & Delavier back off of Gene. Gene finally stops and begins to speak.MG: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!!! FM: It was de ground up und blenderized livuh of de Hammer Head! It is rich in vitamins! MG: UGH! Don’t you know the concentration of vitamins in shark liver is TOO HIGH for human consumption?!?!!? FM: Yes, but not fo’ genetic superman like us, Gene! MG: Ooooooh! Ugh, But I could die!!! FM: Well Mean Gene, you uh old already. It was bound do happen. Whacho gonna do abowt it? The old school kitchen/household music via “Ren & Stimpy” begins playing as Mean Gene starts screaming.MG: SOMEBODY GET ME SOME HELP! THIS IS NOT GOOD!!! HELP!!!!! Dr, FD: What is his problem? FM: I dun know. He’ll walk it off. RIGHT GENE! Flex slaps Gene incredibly hard on the back. Gene falls to the floor like a ton of bricks screaming for his life!MG: Oh Mother of God!!! MY STOMACH IS EATING ITSELF INSIDE OUT!!! His screams are muted as the theme song gets louder & fades to a commercial.
|
|
|
Post by Moxie loves Natalie on Dec 27, 2005 14:30:34 GMT -5
<We fade into Moxie standing with Mean Gene in front of the EWT Logo>
MG: Ladies and Gentlemen, your EWT World Champion, Moxie...
Moxie: Gimmie that Gene!
<Moxie steals the microphone from Gene and pushes him out of the way>
Moxie: Merry 'Effin Christmas, Toom E. Merry Effin' Christmas. I'm glad that someone finally stepped up to the plate and gave me a challenge. 5 cages, 4 cages, 3 cages, 1. It doesn't matter if there's thumbtacks, lightbulbs, or weedwhackers.
Hold your interviews, Start the presses, because at the end of your "house party"... it will be the end of the "Dangerous Era" and the beginning of the Liberation!
|
|
|
Post by Joel, Mike, Currently...? on Dec 27, 2005 22:57:24 GMT -5
Joel and Mike sit at a craft table, thouroughly bummed out.
Joel: We suck.
Mike: We suck worse than suck.
Joel: Man, we give a big interview about how we're going back on the right track, and we go and lose.
Mike: We really are nerds.
Joel: We should just quit.
Mike: We should just die.
Voice: I think you should both calm down.
Joel and Mike turn around.
Mike and Joel: Gary Burghoff, tv's Radar O'Riley?
Gary Burghoff: The very same. You boys are inspirations to little nerds everywhere. You can't just give up and quit because you lost a match or two. Why, when we were pinned down at the 4077th, being shelled, did I just give up? No, I called and called until someone finally stopped the shelling.
Joel: But...
Mike: That was a tv show.
Gary: Oh. Well, no matter. You guys have to buck up! You're two of the top wrestlers in America, you have fresh and exciting matches, and you have a nifty gimmick! You can't just up and quit!
Joel: My God, he's right!
Mike: Why didn't we think of this before! We can't quit! We're just too damn good to quit!
Joel: I have an idea! We'll add another move or two to the arsenal. Something harsh. Something dangerous. Something...something...something that really leaves a mark, and tells our opponents that they were thoroughly PWN3D!
Mike: To work, Joel! To work!
Joel and Mike run off, leaving behind a proud Gary Burghoff.
Gary: Go get 'em, boys.
|
|
Deamon Cohln
Don Corleone
AND THAT'S THE GODDAMN TRUTH!
Posts: 1,962
|
Post by Deamon Cohln on Dec 28, 2005 4:31:41 GMT -5
*Deamon and Jacola are backstage drinking some Pepsi. All of a sudden Sum Guy comes up to them with a mic in his hand.*
Sum Guy: H-hello everybody, I'm Sum Guy and I seriously need less dangerous assignments.
Jacola: I'd say so
Sum Guy: Anyway Deamon, I just want to get your opinions on some of your competitors in the 6 man gauntlet for the OX Title.
Deamon: Ah yes, the cliche "what do you think about your opponents" interview, well here it goes. Virus, you say you need to study up on me, all you need to do is look right into my eyes *he stares at the camera* and see that you have absolutly no chance to survive this match. EN Bunk, you are so lame I have never even heard of you, why should I be scared or even remotely worried about what you could do to me, that can apply to Bolt Bacana too, Jesus is Toomi just bringing in these guys from nowhere? Then there is the Very Little Bastard, Curly Long. Toomi, I know you like to be an equal oppurtunity employer, but come on. Did he threaten you with a discrimination lawsuit or something? Curly, my leg could beat your ass even if it wasn;t attached to my body. Oh, and don't even try bringing in Mr. Big, I'll just have my own Giant destroy him, right Jacola?
Jacola: Hell, if anyone even tries to come near this match I'll be chokeslamming them straight to the center of the earth bro.
Deamon: That a boy. And finally we have come to the OX Champion himself. The Man from the Land Down Unda, Spaz. You are the only one in this bunch that i have even the slightest respect of. I've watched your matches. your tough, i'll admit it, but toughness can't win you a match against the master of the DDT right here. You won't be able to stop me. I'm going a bit off topic here to but Spaz, what the hell did you do to the title belt? With that Aussie flag on there it can't look tough. but anyway from what I hear about it, at Toomi's House Pary II, your name will be moved to the side and I will be the new champ, and that's the goddamn truth. Let's go Jacola.
*They leave. Sum Guy remains and the camera focuses on him.*
Sum Guy: strong word from one of the competetors in the gauntlet, and at *Jacola bust back on camera*
Jacola: BOO!!
Sum Guy:AHHHH!!!*He falls to the floor and Jacola laughs as he walks away.*
*The camera fades away to a comercial for the "Rise and Fall of WFW" DVD featuring Deamon and Sever Cohln.*
|
|
|
Post by crauswell on Dec 28, 2005 11:11:18 GMT -5
Another Vinigette starts playing, showing once again, Crauswell. Hes still wearing his dragon costume thing.
Crauswell: 4 Days... 4 DAYS. All that remain between my coming and my imminent domination of the EWT. Oh sure... you may think that this guy is a joke! There's no way he can dominate the EWT... he can't even move around in that costume of his. Well that's where YOU'RE WRONG!!! If Samao Joe can move quickly around the ring with his girth, then I can definitely do the exact same thing... but better!
Crauswell slowly turns facing the camera once again.
Crauswell: I have waited years for this opportunity... and I intend to make it count!!!
He points at the screen with one of his fake dragon claws.
Crauswell: So EWT... I consider each last one of you gets some rest... bide you time... do whatever you want to do... because this coming year... you will bow down.... before Crauswell... and you willl respect furries. I GURANTEE IT!!!
Crauswell walks off the screen as flaming text appears once again.
4 Days: The New Era Shall Begin
|
|
|
Post by paulpodanski on Dec 28, 2005 13:02:46 GMT -5
Paul Podanski is sitting backstage, belt around his as usual. He's drinking and simply sitting there when suddenly, a strangely oddly familiar... as well as horribly ugly looking woman stomps into the locker room and looks at him.
Woman: Well well... if it isn't my son... Paul.
Podanski turns around slowly, doing a spit take
Paul: Holy... Momma?! Momma Podanski?! I thought you quit after you won the Harlot Hunt thing?!
The camera turns around, showing... the First Ever Harlot Hunt Winner... Momma.
Momma: Eh yeah... there's no frickin way I'm gonna wrestle with a bunch of skinny girls.
Paul stands up and looks her over.
Paul: So... what the hell are you doing here?
Paul's Mom looks at him.
Momma: Well... I thought I'd come watch my favorite son beat the hell out of some punk... plus there was nothing good on tv.
Paul looks at her and shrugs.
Paul: Hey... that's absolutely fine with me. And yeah... tv sucks.
Momma belches out quite loudly and sits down on a bench... almost breaking it in half.
Momma:So... you finally won a belt?
Paul: Well... I did think it up... and I did win it fair and square.
Momma shrugs
Momma: Eh... I really don't care.
Paul shrugs.
Paul: Eh whatever...
The Coach sticks his head in.
Coach: Paul... care for an... OH GOD, WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE?!
Paul looks over at Coachman.
Paul: That's my mother... why are you asking?
Coach runs off screaming... Momma looks at Paul
Momma: Why does that guy look familiar?
Paul shrugs.
Paul: Ehhhh... most assholes look alot alike I guess.
Fade to commercial.
|
|
Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,408
|
Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Dec 28, 2005 19:39:39 GMT -5
Bolt Bacana is in the ring waiting EN Bunk.
*Symphony of Destruction (Remix) by Megadeth hits and fans give a decent pop*
Howard Finkel: "Making his way to the..."
*Bunk has already gotten into the ring and wastes no time tearing into Bolt. Bunk immediantly kicks Blt in the gut before giving him a vicious Mafia kick. Bolt bounces of the ropes and lies in the ring while Bunk goes out of the ring. Bunk produces a big table and slides it into the ring, only to be hit with a baseball slide from Bolt. Bunk and Bolt are tearing at each other, fighting on the outside until Bolt Irish Whips Bunk to the guardrail near the announcers table. Bolt runs straight at Bunk and hits a running Stinger Splash sending them both through to the audience! Bunk and Bolt take no notice of this and continue fighting, even hitting some of the people who are too stupid to realize that people are fighting 2 feet away from them. Bunk blocks a punch from Bolt and hits the Kryptonite Krunch! Bolt is grabbing his back in pain as Bunk picks him up and hits the Emerald Fusion on the concrete! Bunk throws Bolt down the stairs in a gentle way before tossing him to the outside of the ring where they were fighting about 15 minutes ago. Bunk is about to hit a Yakuza Kick when Bolt hits a dropsault on Bunk. Bolt looks around before grabbing his legs and hitting a catapault on Bunk right to the steel post! Bunk is busted wide open as Bolt delivere shots right tot he wound, damaging it even more. Bolt eventually stops and throws Bunk in the ring only to continue his battery on Bunk. Bolt just looks at Bunk before picking him up and delivering a Black Dragon DDT. Bunk is bleeding profusely and doesn't realize Bolt is waiting behind him, looking to hit the Bolt From The Blue V.2. Bunk turns around and is kicked in the gut and is hit with the V.2! Bolt goes for the pin, feeling confident.
1....
2....
3....NO WAY BAH GAWWWWD! Bunk kicks out! Bolt curses under his breath, wondering how Bunk kicked out. Bunk makes his way up and starts to fight back, hitting an Enziguri and locking in the Cloverleaf. Bolt screams in pain, but manages to power out of it, sending Bunk right into the referre. Bunk is on the ground, loosing pints of blood, as Bolt looks at the table and smiles devilishly. Bolt throws the ref out of the ring before setting up the table. Bolt places Bunk on the ring until "St. Anger" by Metallica blasts over the loudspeakers as Jason Maverick comes running down, trying to save EN Bunk. Bolt immediantly knocks him out of the ring and rattles his brains with a chair shot right to the skull. Bolt gets back into the ring and picks Bunk up. Bolt ascends the ropes, preparing to send Bunk through wood. "The Risen Devil" Scott Andrews comes out, moving the table as Bolt hits the Bolt From The Blue. Bolt looks up at Andrews, wondering why the hell he interfered. Andrews merely looks at Bolt before he leaves. Bolt shruggs it off and turns around only to be hit with a Punk-Handled Suplex. Bunk makes the cover and the ref manages to get up and make the pin.
1....
2....
3....!
Fink: Here is you're winner, E! N! Bunk!
Bunk leaves the ring with Andrews and Maverick as Bolt lokks at them, furious and pissed off.
|
|
|
Post by chanceconfidence on Dec 28, 2005 20:45:09 GMT -5
Chance Confidence is standing by, looking a bit annoyed as Sum Guy can be seen next to him.
Sum Guy: I'm Sum Guy and I buys my clothes at flea markets! I'm here with the former Tri-State Champion... Chance Confidence. Mr Confidence... how does it feel that... not only have you lost twice in a row to Maelstrom... but that this week... you have to go one on one with The Outlaw...
Chance quickly yanks Sum's Mike away and glares at him.
Chance: How do I feel? HOW DO I BLOODY FEEL?! How do you think you nimrod?! The P.T.A. has been breathing down my neck all damn week... * mocking Principal Pain * Oh Chance... I believe that you failed to achieve your goal with the haste that I recommended you exhibited... but you could not grasp the reasoning breathing my tactical supervision and decided to improvise your own strategic maneuvers causing you to fail... look Timmy Talktoomuch! I don't give a DAMN what you think! I am sick and tired of being abused and manipulated behind the scenes!!!
Sum tries to take the mike back, but Confidence shoves him out of the way.
Confidence: So you know what... Pain. I'll be glad to next week... annihilate that 515 pound... slow as mollasses... piece of garbage you call the Canceler! Because I will do anything to shut you up ONCE AND FOR BLOODY ALL!!!
Sum manages to find another microphone and returns.
Sum: but wait... you're still in the P.T.A. right?
Chance looks at him with a pretty much dumbfounded look.
Chance: OF COURSE I'M NOT IN THE P.T.A. ANYMORE!!!
The crowd cheers visibly.
Chance: Pain... it's time you learned once and for all... that Chance Confidence is the best there is... period... end of discussion. Now if you'll excuse me... I have to prepare for my match with with redneck hick cowboy who rapes horses.
Confidence walks off and Sum Guy looks at the camera.
Sum Guy: Well... I'm Sum Guy and my favorite color is beige.
Fade to commercial.
|
|
therob
Hank Scorpio
Mcginley to Slim's O'neil
Posts: 7,257
|
Post by therob on Dec 28, 2005 20:52:14 GMT -5
Dean Malenko makes his way out to the ring ready to face The Rob then the Rock and Roll Superstars music hits. Out comes The Rob with a bottle of Jack daniels. stumbling into the ring. The Rob picks up a mic and begins to speak.
The Rob- Now deany boy I respect you but I'm going to have to beat your ass tonight. Dont hold it against me just let it go let it go dean DEAN!!! As The Rob drunkingly sobs.
Dean looks at The Rob completley confused.
The Rob stands up wipes the tears and hands his JD to the ref.
The match begins with a great series of moves from dean while The Rob is completley lost from being completley wasted. Dean starts getting a bit cocky and puts him into the texas cloverleaf really early into the match. The Rob reaches the ropes and dean lets go. dean turns his back and The Rob picks up his bottle of booze. Dean turns around and gets a bottle smased into his face. tThe ref calls for the bell and The Rob gets dq'd. The Rob too drunk to realise pins and counts to three himself and celebrates his victory while EMT'S help out dean.
|
|
|
Post by The Lach is very tired on Dec 29, 2005 3:35:31 GMT -5
*Some TNA style music hits & Ron Killings heads to the ring.*
RA: The following contest is scheduled for one fal & it is for the EWT OX Division Championship, introducing the challenger. From Charlotte, North Carolina, weighing in at 230 lbs he is a former NWA World Heavyweight Champion Ron "The Truth" Killings!
*Party Starter hits & Spaz heads to the ring.*
RA: And From Sydney, Australia, weighing in at 216 lbs he is the EWT OX Division Champion Spaz!
* Both men shake hands as Referee Lee takes the title from Spaz. The bell rings & the two lock up. Killings lifts Spaz up & hits a Sidewalk Slam. Spaz is surprised & is quickly up. Killings charges at Spaz & he pulls off a Powerslam into a cover.*
1 2 KICKOUT!
*Killings kicks out. Spaz lifts Killings up & hits a Vertical Suplex, followed by a second & a third the crowd cheer as Spaz gets up & points to the heavens. Killings is slowly up & Spaz nails a Belly To Belly Suplex. Spaz grabs Killings' legs & tries to lock on a Sydney Cloverleaf but Killings kicks Spaz away. As Spaz bounces off the ropes Killings rolls him up.*
1 2 NO!
*Spaz is able to fight out. He gets up & Killings tries to kick Spaz in the gut but Spaz grabs the leg, takes down Killing & locks on the Sydney Cloverleaf! Killings is able to get to the ropes though & Spaz breaks the hold. Killings pulls himself up with the ropes & Spaz whips him across the ring. As Killings bounces back Spaz nails him on the chin with a Dropkick. Killings head bounces hard off the mat & Spaz climbs the turnbuckle. He signals to the Spazphiles & hits a Shooting Star Press.*
1 2 3!
RA: Your winner & still EWT OX Division Champion Spaz!
*Party Starter plays as Spaz heads up the ramp with his belt.*
*Cut To Promo for Toomi's House Party II*
|
|
Maelstrom
AC Slater
The Tide Will Turn!
Posts: 236
|
Post by Maelstrom on Dec 29, 2005 7:57:40 GMT -5
Maelstrom is backstage heading towards his Aquarium, a smile on his craggy features, while the EWT Tri-State Title hangs off his shoulder. As he approaches the door to the Aquarium a pool of water can be seen flowing from the room ... Maelstrom rushes in. Before the camera can follow Maelstrom a cry of Anguish can be heard from the larger than life champion of the sea.The Cameraman slips on the water as we go inside. As we gain our bearings inside the Aquarium we can see Maelstrom knelt by a very large tank that clearly stood centre stage in the Aquarium ... but it is now empty. On the tank's side a sign reads ..Here swims Barracus: The mightiest of the Hammerheads! As the camera zooms in on the face of Maelstrom, he can be seen mouthing the name Barraccus. His face a picture of grief and twisted rage. In the background, as the giant of the sea's emotions spiral out of control beneath the surface, a monitor is showing highlights of the recent EWT segment ...“How Do Not Be a Stubborn Fat Piece of Crap Und Start Eating Right For Once In Yo Fat Flabby Life....Wit Flex Magnificent & “De Doktor of Muscletology” Herr Doktor Frederick Delavier.” As the replay video cuts in and out of the highlights, Maelstrom can be seen peering over the tank watching the television ... on seeing his loyal companion being butchered and fed to Mean Gene ... a loud guttural rumbling can be heard! MAELSTROM: FLEEEEEXX!!!Maelstrom smashes the huge tank with his fists in rage ... blood flows from his bloodied hands, the red mist of anger clearly overtaking common sense. Before we can assess the situation any longer Maelstrom storms out of the Aquarium. The cameraman gets taken out by a massive sledgehammer of a blow as Maelstrom goes off ... to no doubt find Flex!(the picture cuts out to TV snow ... and a Technical Fault sign appears)
|
|
|
Post by Banned Member on Dec 29, 2005 12:45:51 GMT -5
* The show comes back from break with Outlaw leaning against a wall staring at Ms.White who is bending over doing stretches in front of him. The Outlaw whistles,and with Ms.White turns around,and looks at Outlaw.*
MW: Mer......
OL: Excuse me who am I?
MW: Fine whatever Outlaw. What are you doing looking at me like that?
Ol: I was darn right thinking that I was right in letting you go.
*Ms.White looks on in shock,and walks away in disgust. When Maelstrom comes storming in though muttering something about Flex,and broken fish tanks.*
OL: My whats the matter there Maelstrom? You look like you lost your best friend.
Maelstrom : What do you know about that!
OL: Well for starters the whole arena can hear ya crying. Over what a lost fish?
Maelstrom : It was a shark!
OL: Ah I see. Out in the West all we need are horses,and thats it,and if I were you I worry more about losing that Tri State title to me. Than wondering about some lame ass fish that is gonna end up as a tuna sand which anyways.
*Maelstrom decks Outlaw with a right hand,and storms away. The Outlaw gets up holding his jaw.*
OL: Ya thats right. You run,and look for that fish. I will becoming for that title,and no shark will be able to save you.
*An ad for Sum Guys favorite matches is shown.*
|
|
Doomrider
Hank Scorpio
I wanna bang Marla.
Posts: 6,058
|
Post by Doomrider on Dec 29, 2005 14:27:29 GMT -5
-=Scene=- We return from a commercial break with the Killer Bees in the ring. Six Feet Under’s rendition of “Let Me Put My Love Into You” begins to play as the curtains part and “Delicious” Dick Slater emerges from backstage pushing Senor Splash in a wheelbarrow. Senor is rubbing his stomach and shouting something about the music being too loud. He swats to the cameraman to move out of the way as Dick pushes him down the ramp way to ringside. Dick tips the wheelbarrow and Senor rolls out. He stands up as Dick motions for the pre-match rituals of both men. Dick takes some cocoa butter from his apron, removes the apron, and starts lubing himself down.
-=Jim Ross=- COCOA BUTTAH! COCOA BUTTAH! COCOA BUTTAH!
-=Jerry “The King” Lawler=- I haven’t seen something this disgusting since One Night in Chyna!
-=Scene=- Splash, disgusted by this, vomits in a bucket left for him at ringside. The Killer Bees stand in the ring perplexed by these two miscreants. Splash, now sobering up, and Dick, now lubed up, high five each other and roll into the ring. Dick starts dancing erotically towards the ref. While he’s distracted, Splash removes his flask from his back pocket and clocks Brian Blair, who stumbles out of the ring. Splash pockets the flask as Dick is pushed away from the referee…by the referee and asks for the bell to ring. Splash and Jumpin Jim are left in the ring to start the match. They lockup and Splash gives Jim a swift shin kick. Jim backs up and limps in pain as Splash gives him a quick eye poke. The ref pushes Splash back and scolds him, but Splash, somewhat dizzy, grabs the ref and starts doing the tango. This gives time for Jim to take in Bumblebee Blair, who charges Splash. The ref and Splash stumble back as Blair gives Senor several axe handles to the back, bringing him to his knees. Brunzell illegally runs into the ring and the Bees pick up Splash for a double suplex. All of this has awoken Splash’s digestive system. Blair falls on him for the pin, but Splash emits a burp so heinous is knocks Brian off of him and knocks him out.
-=Jim Ross=- BAG GAWHUD KEEEEEYNG! DAT BURP KNOCKED BRIAN BLAIR OUT COLD! OUT COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD STONE….
-=Jerry “The King” Lawler=- I used to be married to The Kat…
-=Scene=- With Blair out, Brunzell charges in the ring, but Senor Splash makes it to his side of the ring and tag in “Delicious” Dick. Dick slithers into the ring and immediately skeeves out Brunzell. Slater gives Brunzell a kick to the gut, then starts massaging his back. Brunzell freaks out and starts pummeling Slater. Dick counters and irish whips Brunz into the ropes. As Jim comes towards Dick, he nails him with a sick big boot to the face, knocking Brunzell to the ground.. Slater mounts Brunzell and rides him like a pony. The ref, wanting to end this match, considers it a pin and gives a three count. The bell rings and Senor Splash and Dick Slater win their first tag team match! Slater starts dancing erotically again and massaging his middle aged man boobs as Senor Splash is threatening to pee into the mouths of the people in the front row. Just as Senor starts undoing the strings on his board shorts, EWT security charges the ring and pulls the two out of the ring. “Let Me Put My Love Into You” starts again as the two are dragged upstage as we cut to a commercial for the Flex Magnificent Manhood Maximizer.
|
|
|
Post by pta on Dec 29, 2005 14:54:53 GMT -5
Here Comes the Ax
Here comes the Smash
Demolition immiediately make their way out towards the ring, gettign a decent pop from the crowd as they head down the ramp.
Announcer: The following contest tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first... at a combined weight of 583 pounds, Demolition!!!
Ax and Smash quickly step into the ring and await their opponents.
They don't have to wait long as Pomp and Circumstance starts up and Principal Pain and Canceler head out to the ring.
Announcer: And the challengers... at a combined weight of 750 pounds, Principal Pain and the Canceler... the P.T.A!!!
The P.T.A. gets obviously booed as Pain climbs into the ring, Canceler following. Pain then stands in the center of the ring... ripping off his suit as usual. He looks across the ring at their opponents and quickly steps out of the ring, wisely letting the Canceler start things off. Ax and Smash look at each other, than the Canceler. Smash quickly exits the ring... as Ax looks at him.
The bell rings and Ax immediately tags in Smash. Smash looks at him and they start arguing... Smash steps into the ring... tagging Ax again! Ax... looks at him, the Canceler starting to get impatient now. The two shrugs and steps into the ring at the same time, charging forward and going for a double clothesline. Canceler somehow counters though, sending them BOTH into orbit with a back body drop! Ax and Smash both hit the mat and groan.
Canceler lifts the legal man, Smash, up by the throat with ease. Smash flails about wildly, trying to escape, but Canceler isn't goign to let that happen. He lifts him up and slams him down with a powerslam to the mat. He goes for an early cover. 1...2...
But Ax breaks up the count. Canceler slowly rises up, glaring right at Ax, then grabbing him by the throat and choke tossing him right out of the ring! Ax goes flying as Smash rises to his feet, only to get a clothesline and go back down hard. Canceler leaps up and goes for a huge leg drop, but Smash rolls out of desperation and avoids it.
Canceler grunts a bit and slowly rises to his feet, Smash charging forward and hitting a shoulder block, senind Canceler back... a half inch. He looks at Smash as if he's crazy. Smash looks a bit scard and backs away, only to get lifted up and dropped right on his skull with a brainbuster! Canceler slowly rises back up, dragging Smash with him and tags in Pain.
Pain quickly looks at Canceler and signals for the hickory Stick! Canceler lifting up Smash with a full nelson andm charging forward, Pain running forward as well and taking him out with a flying clothesline. Smash goes down hard as Pain goes for a cover. 1...2...
But Ax enters the ring now and breaks up the count. Pain looks up at him, Ax not as intimidated now, laying into Pain with him hard fists with to face, sending him reeling back a bit. He hoists Pain up and slams him down with a suplex. Pain groans as Smash rises up and stomps at pain to soften him up. He then hoists him up to his feet, lifting him up for a Powerbomb, but Pain counters! He locks in a mid-air armbar submission...Smash grunting and trying to get him to break the hold, but Pain not letting go. Ax tries to get involved, but Canceler intercepts and lays him out with a yakuza kick.
Pain keeps the submission hold locked on, but Smash eventually starts fighting back, grabbign Pain and slamming him down with a sidewalk slam to the mat! Pain groans and Smash quickly gets back up. He turns around and looks at Canceler. Canceler glares back.
He backs up and charges forward, nailign the flying clothesline and somehow taking Canceler down! The crowd cheers as Ax looks at Smash and nods, climbing up atop and leaping off at a rising Canceler with... the Double Axe Hammer! Canceler groans and goes back down like a sack of bricks.
Meanwhile Pain is back on his feet... Smash turning around, he and Crush charging forward for a doubles clothesline, but pain quickly counters, rolling underneath then immediately leaping up with the dropkick. Ax takes it and goes down. Smash tries to lift Pain to his feet, only for Pain to counter, first with a shot to the chest... then taking him down with a dragon screw into the leg lock submission!
Smash groans and yells in agony as Pain locks the submission move in... Ax slowly rises to his feet and runs forward, breaking it up before Pain can do too much damage. Pain groans, rising up, then getting hoisted back up back into the air... perhaps for another powerbomb.
But Canceler quickly charges forward and hits a clothesline from behind to Ax, causing him to hunch over slightly and allowing Pain to deliver a Total Shot to the mat! Ax groans and rolls otu of the ring, but Smash is still the legal man.
Pain gets to his feet and grabs Smash as he rises up, apparently trying for a german suplex. However, Canceler immediately gets back behind him and hoists his own tag tag partner for a german! Instead, he bounces him off the ropes and turns around for a double german suplex pin on Smash. 1.....2.....
NO! Ax once again breaks up the count. Pain looks at bit frustrated, releasing the bridge, as Canceler lifts him up onto his shoulders and pains leaps off for the crossbody onto Ax! The crowd boos as it connects.
Ax is back down again as Canceler gets back onto the apron finally. Ax managing to to do the same. Pain gets to his feet and walks over, lfiting up a prone Smash and attempts to hoist him up for the Suspender... but Smash is fighting it desperately, Pain growls a bit frustratingly, trying again and again to get Smash up, but instead Smash counters, hoisting Pain up and slamming him down with a suplex! The two are both down now... Smahs crawling over to Ax, Pain to Canceler. Ax gets the tag first, Canceler secondly.
Ax charegs forward like a mad man with the hot tag, oly to get shut down with a Big Boot from Canceler. He goes down hard as the big man lifts him up and into Military press position! Pain quickly readies himself on the turnbuckle.
But suddenly, Smash gets yanked off the apron! The referee looks confused and runs over to check what's going on. As he does, Chance Confidence leaps up onto the apron and delivers a LOW BLOW kick to Canceler. Canceler dropping Ax immediately and falling to the ground prone. Pain has already leaped off, Smash catching him in mid air and tossing him right out of the ring. Confidence is gone now.
Canceler lays there prone as Ax hooks the leg. 1....2.....3!!!
Announcer: Here are your winners.... Demolition!!!
Pain sits up... unable to believe what just happens. He looks around the arena looking pretty angry and starts cursing. Ax tries to exit the ring... but the Canceler rises up to his feet... looking pissed off. He hoists him up onto his shoulders, then slams him down hard with the ISD! The crowd boos as Canceler sits back up and has a look of pure anger in his eyes.
Fade to commercial
|
|
Limey
Unicron
It's been awhile.
Posts: 3,062
|
Post by Limey on Dec 29, 2005 17:31:04 GMT -5
*"Unstable" hits. WARRIOR IS OUT!!! THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR IS OUT!!!! He runs down to the ring, and slides in, shaking the top rope as if he's part of a bizarre mating ritual!!! His crowd response, however, is pretty apathetic.*
Chimel: The following contest is scheduled for ONE-FALL!!! Making his way to the ring from Parts Unknown...weighing in at 275 pounds, and the MASTER of the Body Press...Ladies and gentlemen...THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR!!!!!
*The crowd response for the Warrior is pretty lukewarm. The Warrior tries to spice things up by shaking the top rope vigorously. Crowds of minorities, liberals, women, gay people and embarrassed republicans boo him mercilessly.*
JR: It looks like the Warrior isn't getting the crowd reaction he was expecting here, Carl!!
Chimel: Aaaaand his opponent...
*The crowd pop as "RIP" hits. Limey and Carla O Woe make their way out to a huge crowd pop. Carla and Limey throw up the horns, then pose at the top of the entranceway.*
Chimel: Accompanied to the ring by the CURRENT GND Division champion, CARLA O WOE...
*Carla nods her head "Oh, yes!!" as the crowd cheer for her. She holds her title up high...although there are a few chants for "OCEANIC!!!"...*
Chimel: From Liverpool, England...weighing in at 15 stone....LIMEY!!!!!!
*The crowd pop as Limey throws up the horns, and gets into the ring. He nods appreciatively at the cheering fans when...*
*SNEAK ATTACK BY THE WARRIOR!!!! The match has begun!*
*The bell rings as the Warrior stomps away at Limey, who has been felled by a clothesline to the back of the head. Carla, surprised and stunned, yells abuse at the Warrior. The Warrior laughs mockingly at Carla before returning to stomp at Limey. Warrior picks up Limey by the head, and Irish Whips him into the ropes, hitting Limey on the rebound with a SHOULDER BLOCK!!! Limey scrambles to his feet, unaware that the Warrior is pointing at Limey, getting ready for his patented series of finishers!!! The crowd jeers the Warrior, but this makes no difference to him.*
*Limey stumbles around, dazed. Warrior runs at him, and hits him with a clothesline!! Limey once again tries to recover, but Warrior charges at him again with another CLOTHESLINE!!!! Warrior starts pumping himself up, and he grabs Limey by the head, pulling off an Irish Whip! Limey bounces off the ropes, and runs straight into Warrior, who lifts him up, and hits a GORILLA PRESS SLAM!!! Warrior runs the ropes, and everyone knows what's coming next as Warrior hits the BIG SPLASH!!!! Warrior gets to his knees and holds his arms out as a tribute to the Gods of Destrucity. Limey rolls over to his back, evidently half-awake....*
*LIMEY HANDSPRINGS UP!!!! LIMEY HANDSPRINGS UP AFTER TAKING WARRIOR'S BIG SPLASH!!!!*
*The crowd pop madly for Limey as he dusts himself off, and throws up the horns!!! The Warrior is in severe denial as Limey appeals to the crowd!!! He approaches Warrior, and laughs at him to his face.*
Limey: (Incredulously) Big Splash? That it? That's your finisher, a Big Splash?
*The Warrior, severely P.O'd, runs over to Limey, and yells right to his face. Limey folds his arms, and nods along with what Warrior is saying, not phased in the slightest. The Warrior, having now reached his limit, throws a wild punch straight at Limey...Limey slaps away the punch, and hits Warrior with a dropkick!!! The crowd pop as Limey points at Warrior, who is stumbling up to his feet! STO!!! STO to the Warrior!!! Limey calls for the Twist O' Lime as the Crowd pops!!! Limey grabs the Warrior by the hair, and then brings him to his feet before kicking him in the gut!!! Limey then lifts up Warrior...TWIST O' LIME!!! TWIST O' LIME TO THE WARRIOR!!! Limey goes for the cover!!!*
1, 2, 3!!!
Winner: Limey.
*Post-match, Limey grabs the Microphone. The crowd pop as he and Carla are in the ring, the Warrior on the ground.*
Limey: First off, Warrior! Get yourself used to REAL WRESTLING!! Flex Bloody Magnificent knows more wrestling moves than you ever will! Here in EWT, you will NOT see ANYONE get bowled over by the types of splash you pull off! It takes so much more to make it here in EWT, Warrior, and you only have to look at our top stars to realise that!!!
*The crowd chants for Limey as the Warrior rolls out of the ring. Limey addresses the fans once more.*
Limey: Secondly...and this is for Mister Dangerously...I really hope you make the right decision in putting me in the survival cage at the perfect start to the year, TOOMI'S HOUSE PARTY....II!!!! Don't get me wrong, there ARE a whole load of potential greats just waiting to make it to the cage...
*A mixture of scattered chants for the likes of Mike Ragnal, Maelstrom, Podanski, and many others starts up.*
Limey: But I can take the heat, Toomi. I have faced the odds before, Toomi! Screaming Sausage Mayhem, don't forget it! And I will gladly go through all sorts of hell you can put into a steel cage, Toomi! It doesn't matter to me! What matters is that if anyone, ANYONE stands in my way of getting the gold at Toomi's House Party II, life will GIVE...THEM...LIMES!!!!!!!
*Carla applauds Limey at this as Limey throws up the horns to a huge pop. Limey and Carla then exit the ring, stepping over Warrior as they pass.*
*Fade to Commercial for Toomi's House Party. Toomi is shown in his office. He sneers at the camera.*
Toomi: You think you know how to throw a party?
*Scene cuts to Toomi standing in the middle of an X-shaped ring in an abandoned warehouse. His arms are folded as he speaks.*
Toomi: Five rings...
*The scene flashes to Toomi standing above six sillhouttes.*
Toomi: Six men...
*The scene flashes to Toomi standing behind a cage. He grabs it and leers menacingly into the camera.*
Toomi: A cage surrounding each ring...
*Scene flashes to Toomi standing in front of a caged dome.*
Toomi: A dome covering each cage...
*Scene flashes to Toomi, behind another cage, weilding a hammer.*
Toomi: One cage with easily accessible weapons...(Toomi strikes the cage with the hammer. The resounding *CLINK* resonates throughout the scene)
*Scene flashes to Toomi standing in the middle of a caged dome ring, the EWT World Heavyweight title suspended high above the ring.*
Toomi: All culminating in a vicious brawl for the Ultimate prize. Three men enter...only one can leave with the gold...
*Scene flashes back to Toomi in his office. He stands up, and produces a bottle of Champagne.*
Toomi: Now that...is how you throw a party. Hope you remembered a cake...
*Toomi pops the Champagne bottle right at the camera. The scene flashes to a visual of the Toomi's House Party II logo.*
Announcer: Toomi's House Party II, avaliable on PPV!!!
*Fade out...*
|
|
Deamon Cohln
Don Corleone
AND THAT'S THE GODDAMN TRUTH!
Posts: 1,962
|
Post by Deamon Cohln on Dec 30, 2005 4:16:06 GMT -5
*The camera fades into the ring. The announcer is standing there mic in hand. The Islanders music hits and the come walking down to the ring.*
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen this tag team match is scheduled for one fall. Now entering the ring accompanied by Bobby Heanan, Haku and Tama, The Islanders!
*The crowd seems impartial to the Islanders as the walk into the ring and Bobby walks to the other side of it. There is a short pause until ICP’s-Halls of Illusion hits and out walks The Cohlns. The crowd is booing heavily as Deamon walks out looking intense as ever. He walks straight to the ring as Jacola follows him smooth and calm. He tries to play to the crowd but only receives more boos and some pretty vulgar comments. They slide into the ring at the same time and hit the middle rope and throw up the “Wings of Change” hand signs they created.*
Announcer: And their opponents, Deamon and Jacola, The COHLN Brothers!
*Deamon is staring at his opponents with a intense glare. Jacola is now on the turnbuckle playing to the now booing heavily crowd.*
The Match: Deamon and Haku are first In the ring and Deamon does not want to wait and while Haku is talking to Tama, Deamon rams him in the head with his forearm. He procceds to bash him with his arm whil Tama gets back on the ropes as Deamon knocked him to the ring floor with Haku. Deamon Irish Whips Haku into the ropes and jumps over him as he reurns and bounces on the opposite side. On his second bounce Deamon bounces off of a side rope and nails Haku with a Missle Dropkick. Haku is now on his back and Deamon is going to the ropes. He bounces of the Middle rope and Lionsaults on Haku. Deamon gets up and tags in Jacola. Jacola picks up Haku as Tama comes into the ring to help him. Deamon gets on the toprope and lands The Crush before Tama can get anywhere near Jacola. Bobby tries to pull out Haku but Deamon hits both of them with a baseball slide. Deamon is on the outside of the ring and looking up at Jacola. He yells something at him and he picks up Haku. He holds his hand out and grabs him and put him on his shoulders. He throws him up and hit’s the Angelic Powerbomb. He walks over and tags in Deamon. He waits for him to get up. He kicks Haku in the gut and puts his head in between his arms. He runs up the trunbuckle and hit’s the Deamon Doom DDT! He goes for the pin.
1... 2... 3! The bell rings!
Announcer: Here are your winners! Deamon and Jacola. The Cohln Brothers!
*Deamon and Jacola exit like they have some place to be at that very moment. The camera fades out as they leave.*
|
|
|
Post by Toom E. Guci on Dec 30, 2005 8:35:58 GMT -5
*Toom E Dangerously comes walking out towards the ring. He grabs the microphone & stands center ring.* Well, well, well....it has become the time everybody has waited for. You see, at Toom E's House Party II the Survival Cage makes it's EWT return. And in it, Moxie will be defending the EWT Championship. Obviously, Moxie has had nothing to say as of late because he's been preparing for this hellacious match, as he hasn't even been backstage in a few days. But Moxie, rest assured, your wait is over. Because I have finally decided who will be in this year's Survival Cage. And the participants are: Limey HeartBreak Hitman Brett Micheals Billy "the Virgin" Ubermark Mike Ragnal
Now, the OFFICIAL line up, as in who will be in which cage, will not be decided until we have a drawing this next week. So the actual match ups are endless. *And as Toom E starts to walk away, he suddenly stops & speaks again.* Oh, my bad. I forgot the final participant in the Survival Cage. Moxie, I'm sure you remember him & know him quite well, as EWT is proud to present the return of....HitmanMark.
|
|
|
Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on Dec 30, 2005 10:44:21 GMT -5
*HBH is backstage with Rosa watching Toom E's announcement. A smile comes across his face*
HBH: Excellent. Now I'm one step closer to becoming the EWT Heavyweight Champion.
Rosa: Yes, but I don't think you should get ahead of yourself. You still have to get through Limey, Billy Ubermark, Mike Ragnal, and HitmanMark. Not to mention Moxie himself.
HBH: Let me tell you something. All 5 of those participants will find out exactly why I am The Showstoppa, The Icon, The Main Event! And I'll tell you something else. If that HitmanSmark thinks he can all of a sudden come back take the title, he's got another thing coming. I don't care if he's in the EWT Hall of Fame. He'll get something alright, but it'll be in the form of some Sweet Chin Muzak!
*Cut to next segment*
|
|
Deamon Cohln
Don Corleone
AND THAT'S THE GODDAMN TRUTH!
Posts: 1,962
|
Post by Deamon Cohln on Dec 30, 2005 15:18:14 GMT -5
*Deamon and Jacola are standing in screen, arms folded in black trench coats. Jacola is in his mask and he begins to speak*
Jacola: Toomi, just look at us, look at the warriors that stand before you. You have me, the monster of a man that will not be stopped. That’s why I need that title shot. All these other losers can’t pull off half the stuff that I can given the oppurtunites, and from what I hear from Deamon, and what happened now, you have to have a degree in politics to get anywhere here.
Deamon: When you can’t get booked you can’t win matches Toomi. That’s why I was glad to hear I was in the 6-man gauntlet. But as time went by I was thinking, why would you put me in a 6-man match. It’s because you were scared. You were scared of me. You were scared of me winning that title with too much ease over that down under blunder named Spaz. So you put 4 more obstacles in my way before I can get to him.
Jacola: Your scared Toomi, you’re scared to give me that title shot. You don’t want two Cohlns as champs, me as World Heavyweight, yeah that’s right Moxie, I called it Heavyweight, champion and my bro as OX champ. Your scared of giving us what we deserve. And you’re the only reason that real warriors don’t get their time in the spotlight.
Deamon: Warriors, that’s what we are Toomi, not your personal power trip. If you hold us down, we will get back up and attack. And what your doing now is holding us down while digging a hole to bury us in. You don’t want the Cohlns as champs, when we should be Triple Crown champs together. Jacola, Heavyweight, Me OX and both of us as Tag, Screw the Ragnals, Moxie and Spaz. We are the new age of EWT, hit it Jacola.
Jacola: and that’s the GODDAMN truth, not the shocking truth, The GOD. DAMN. TRUTH.
*The form the wings of change with their hands and slowly move toward the camera until it fades out.*
|
|
Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
|
Post by Ragnal on Dec 30, 2005 17:37:46 GMT -5
*Cut back to the ring, where there are chains hanging around the ring with Hardcore weapons, a row of mirrors lined up on one small section of apron, and a table set up with custard pies, whack-a-mole hammers, water seltzer bottles, and skeet balls. Lillian Garcia is standing in the middle of the ring to announce the match.*
LILLIAN: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is Joe Ragnal’s Fun House match. Entering first…
*Ich Will plays as Tony Chang enters the arena, arms out in prayer. He heads down to the ring, and examines the items hanging about the ring.*
LILLIAN: He is the Disciple of the Connection…Tony CHANG!
*Faint plays as Joe Ragnal enters and heads down to the ring, both arms behind his back.*
LILLIAN: And his opponent…from Scranton, PA, he is one half of the EWT Tag Team Champions…the Cloudbreaker, Joe RAGNAL!
*As Joe gets into the ring, he and Chang have a stare down, until Joe extends his hand to shake. Chang questions this, but without taking an eye off of Joe, he shakes his hand, and gets shocked. Chang jumps in surprise and grabs his hand away, as Joe looks with a smile and shows him a joy buzzer strapped to his hand. Joe then takes his other hand from behind his back and squirts Chang in the face with a seltzer bottle. The crowd laughs as Chang is knocked into the ropes and stumbles backwards outside the ring. Joe grabs a steel chair hanging from the chains and goes outside to meet with Chang, who’s at the weapons table, as Chang gets up with his back to Joe, Joe readies the chair for a swing, but gets hit with a pie by Chang as he turns around. Before he can wipe the pie off his face, Joe’s knocked down by a clothesline from Chang. Chang grabs a WAM hammer, and smacks Joe in the head as hard as possible with it. After a few more hits with the hammer, Tony Chang tosses it aside and picks Joe up off the ground, but Joe raises his hand up and presses the joy buzzer on Chang’s forehead. He pushes Joe away and grabs his head, feeling slightly woozy. After he finally gathers himself, Tony turns around, and is met with a steel chair, courtesy of Joe. Joe drops the chair and goes for the pin.*
1!2!
*Kickout from Chang. Joe picks Chang up and whips him back inside the ring, and brings a pie in with him. Joe sets the pie down in a corner, and grabs a steel chain hanging from the ropes, Joe wraps it around his fist, and gets ready to strike as Chang turns around, but Chang turns and hits Joe in the face with a tonfa he hid in his ring trunks. Chang pleaces it back where he found it, and looks down smiling as blood drips down the custard remains on Joe’s face. Chang goes to pin.*
1!2!
*Kickout by Joe. Chang picks Joe up and knees him in the gut a few times, then he goes to whip Joe towards the mirrors, but Joe counters the whip with a stronger one and falls to the ground, as Chang goes headfirst into the mirror, breaking it. Now Chang’s face is a bloody mess. The two of them slowly get back to their feet, as Chang pulls the tonfa back out, and sees Joe crawling to a corner, using the ropes as leverage. As Joe gets up, Chang is ready to strike, when suddenly, Joe hits him with the custard pie he brought into the ring. As Chang stumbles around the ring wiping the pie off his face, Joe slides out of the ring, picks up another pie, gets back into the ring, and places it on the ground. As Chang finally gets the pie off, he turns around, and gets lowblowed by Joe with the tonfa. Chang reacts painfully, and Joe hits a pump handle DDT on him, Chang’s face landing in the pie. Joe rolls him over and goes for a pin.*
1!2!
*Kickout by Chang. Joe looks down at Chang with his arms on his hips, and picks him up again. Joe whips him into the ropes and looks for a cross body, but Chang grabs him and hits him with a swinging sidewalk slam. Chang rolls out of the ring and grabs a sledgehammer from under the ring. He slams it against the steel steps and smiles. He rolls back into the ring and slams it into Joe’s stomach, taunting him as he continues to beat him severely.
CHANG: This is how you try to defend your false sister, Ragnal? By getting beaten severely?! IS THAT IT? Well, just wait!
*Chang lets the sledgehammer down and gets behind Ragnal as he slowly gets up, preparing to attack Joe with the Viperbite. Just as Chang raises his leg, however, Joe turns around, and sprays him down with a seltzer bottle. Chang blocks the water away, but to no avail, and gets sprayed through the ropes and down to the floor. Joe looks down at Chang, getting up off the floor, and jumps off the ropes and hits an Asai Moonsault on him. The two of them slowly get off the floor and start to trade punches with each other back and forth until Chang slams Joe into the steel steps, hurting his shoulder. Chang tosses Joe back into the ring, and then slides back in himself. Chang readies for another Viperbite, but Joe turns around again and hits Chang in the face with a pie, and as he’s staggering, Joe puts him in a headlock, bounces off the ropes, and then hits him with a Windfall. Joe goes for the pin.*
1!2!3!
*The bell rings, and Joe rolls out of the ring as quickly as possible, wiping the blood and pie remains off of his face. He points back at Chang, and yells out,
“THAT’S what you get!”
And then walks to the backstage area, as Chang gets up looking disgusted.*
|
|