Lick Ness Monster
Dennis Stamp
From the eerie, eerie depths of Lake Okabena
Posts: 4,874
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Post by Lick Ness Monster on Jun 2, 2010 9:29:48 GMT -5
Meh, after reading all negative posts about Platinum Dunes I will say this.... As least they weren't responsible for H2! Come to think of it, what kind of movie(s) would we have been treated to if PD got the rights to remake Halloween.. I remember Rorschach once saying that as meh as some of the Platinum Dunes movies are, they're still leaps and bounds better than Zombie's Halloween flicks. If I remember right, his exact words were that those movies are so bad that they make fans long for the days when Myers was duking it out with Busta Rhymes and LL Cool J. Fitting words for that particular statement.
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Post by Big DSR Energy on Jun 2, 2010 12:00:29 GMT -5
Meh, after reading all negative posts about Platinum Dunes I will say this.... As least they weren't responsible for H2! Come to think of it, what kind of movie(s) would we have been treated to if PD got the rights to remake Halloween.. I remember Rorschach once saying that as meh as some of the Platinum Dunes movies are, they're still leaps and bounds better than Zombie's Halloween flicks. If I remember right, his exact words were that those movies are so bad that they make fans long for the days when Myers was duking it out with Busta Rhymes and LL Cool J. Fitting words for that particular statement. I didn't even see Zombie's HALLOWEEN movies, and I still long for those days. The next HALLOWEEN movie should ignore Rob's films and be a sequel to RESURRECTION, titled something obnoxious like "Myers N Da Hood." And also, Da Hood should somehow be in Space...and it's Christmas.
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Post by Rorschach on Jun 2, 2010 13:48:12 GMT -5
Meh, after reading all negative posts about Platinum Dunes I will say this.... As least they weren't responsible for H2! Come to think of it, what kind of movie(s) would we have been treated to if PD got the rights to remake Halloween.. I remember Rorschach once saying that as meh as some of the Platinum Dunes movies are, they're still leaps and bounds better than Zombie's Halloween flicks. If I remember right, his exact words were that those movies are so bad that they make fans long for the days when Myers was duking it out with Busta Rhymes and LL Cool J. Fitting words for that particular statement. Heh....and I still stand by that. ;D Let's see...what would we have gotten in a PD remake of Halloween? *At least one still from pre-production of Form and Fuller leaning or sitting on a Haddonfield police cruiser. *a more normal sized Myers *Megan Fox as Laurie Strode.....no scratch that, not as the Laurie Strode we all know and love, but as the single skankiest, whorish, and nasty version of the character that you could ever imagine. By the time we're done with the intro sequence where she blows some random jock in the locker-room, you'll hate her and despise her so much that you'll be rooting FOR Myers. But since this is PD we're talking about here, THAT won't be intentional. Her friends will ALL be so vapid and shallow that SHE will be the likable one by default. See, THEY all "go all the way" with boys, which makes them even more promiscuous and hateable...Laurie only gives BJ's, so SHE's the default "virginal one" of the group. *I can totally see more stunt casting for Loomis....maybe Alec Baldwin or Anthony Hopkins. It won't matter, because the character will be utterly wasted and underwritten to the point that he may as well not even show up. And being Platinum Dunes, expect a creepy swerve where it's shown that Loomis just MAY have some sort of sexual attraction to Laurie, and MYERS is the "good guy" protecting his sister from the creepy pedo psychologist. *The Myers mask will be altered to be more "XTREME!!!!11" and possibly painted blood red, cause red is scarier than white, yo! *It will be directed by the French-Portugese director of Madonna's last music video that she did in the 90's.....expect lots and lots of AWESOME and CUTTING EDGE music video effects, and every scene to have a "CAAAT!" scare or three, because that is truly what makes a film frightening. God....I'm trying SO hard to make this bad, but not, you know, parody levels of bad, and I still think what I wrote up there sounds better than Zombieween Parts 1 and Two, Y'all!. ;D
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Post by Sir Woodrow on Jun 2, 2010 17:44:44 GMT -5
I would love a Halloween that follows on from H20, Ignores resurrection and makes a reference to Rob Zombie's efforts as Movies made about Michael where they portrayed him as a "Hillbilly Mama's boy"
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Post by Rorschach on Jun 3, 2010 1:25:46 GMT -5
So here's a question for you all: Outside of SAW sequels and subpar remakes of horror classics....what has the American horror industry REALLY got left in it's tank?
Seems like we're getting outclassed by Europe and Japan at EVERY turn here, people! ;D
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Post by sunwukong on Jun 3, 2010 1:30:04 GMT -5
Every so often something small will come along that's interesting, but by and large it's a wasteland of watered down PG-13 snoozefests, crappy remakes, lousy adaptations, and the odd terrible sequel.
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Post by Rorschach on Jun 3, 2010 1:35:00 GMT -5
Every so often something small will come along that's interesting, but by and large it's a wasteland of watered down PG-13 snoozefests, crappy remakes, lousy adaptations, and the odd terrible sequel. Right, like Paranormal Activity. But outside of that, what is the US doing? Seems like nothing BUT Platinum Dunes remakes, and SAW sequels, along with the odd sci-fi hybrid like Splinter or Splice. I guess if you count DTV stuff like the After Dark Horror Fest, then yeah, there's a lot of interesting (if not all THAT good) stuff out there. But theatrically....seems like we're dragging our feet until some rich studio exec catches wind of some amazing Japanese or German film and orders his studio to snatch up the rights so that it can be REMADE (IE "dumbed down" more than likely) for an American audience.
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Post by sunwukong on Jun 3, 2010 1:37:02 GMT -5
And I don't really get why that is. Horror is a low risk game anyway. The movies are cheap to produce, "critic proof" in that horror is almost universally slagged on so it doesn't matter one way or the other, and through other revenue channels you're almost gurantted to recoup your investment.
Really, horror is the one genre that you can JUSTIFY taking risks in commercially and economically. But Hollywood seems uninterested in that.
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Post by Rorschach on Jun 3, 2010 1:45:27 GMT -5
And I don't really get why that is. Horror is a low risk game anyway. The movies are cheap to produce, "critic proof" in that horror is almost universally slagged on so it doesn't matter one way or the other, and through other revenue channels you're almost gurantted to recoup your investment. Really, horror is the one genre that you can JUSTIFY taking risks in commercially and economically. But Hollywood seems uninterested in that. Yeah, but it just must not be the guaranteed money maker that say, a Tyler Perry comedy, or a Seltzer-Friedberg movie must be. That's the only reason I can figure WHY we aren't seeing a renaissance in cheapo slasher flicks. God, just typing that almost made me lose faith in the human race.
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Post by sunwukong on Jun 3, 2010 1:53:37 GMT -5
This is going back to something discussed earlier in the thread, but part of the problem is insisting on putting A-Level money (albiet the very low end) behind these things. ANOES should not have cost 35 million. There's absolutely no excuse for that.
Tyler Perry's "Why did I get Married?" cost 15 million and made about 60 million.
ANOES cost 35 and thus far sits 62 million domestic (plus another 30+ million international). Keep that budget down, and you've got a great money maker. As it stands, no great shakes.
The Tyler Perry model is one that easily applies to the horror genre. Perry's movies are very profitable, but outside of one or two they're not box office smashes. They've got a loyal audience that will turn out and he keeps the budgets down, thus ensuring great profit returns. We could (and should) be seeing that with horror flicks. But they don't get it.
Then there's the problem of when something good does come along, it's mishandled. Drag Me To Hell only grossed 42 million (off a 30 million budget). I firmly believe this is because they did it as a summer release. They release that thing in mid-September and catch the Halloween mood, it's a 60 mill grosser EASY.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 3, 2010 2:02:34 GMT -5
I think Splice will fall into the "mishandled" category. By that, I mean...it won't make a lot of money, but will do good business as far as reviews go, because i'm hearing some decent buzz on this. Whether or not it does well is anybody's guess, although it's budget is $26 million and they bought it at Sundance. But you put that film around Halloween and it may have done better.
Hoping it does well enough though. A Sundance sci-fi/horror film starring some well-known actors gets picked up by Dark Castle and gets a mid-summer release at the same amount of theaters as some of the other big heavyweights. That's a win enough for the genre.
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Post by sunwukong on Jun 3, 2010 2:08:12 GMT -5
Hollywood's big problem with releasing horror movies at Halloween is that they all get cold feet when one movie tends to dominate the season. For most of the decade, studios have been afraid to compete directly with Saw during the Halloween season, although last year Paranormal Activity proved it could be done, so hopefully that mindset starts easing.
You'd think it would be a pretty common sense proposition to release horror movies during Halloween (granted, you need to get them out in September to maximize theater runs), as people are more likely to want to be scared then than say, sunny, warm June.
But what do I know.
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Post by Rorschach on Jun 3, 2010 2:09:12 GMT -5
This is going back to something discussed earlier in the thread, but part of the problem is insisting on putting A-Level money (albiet the very low end) behind these things. ANOES should not have cost 35 million. There's absolutely no excuse for that. Tyler Perry's "Why did I get Married?" cost 15 million and made about 60 million. ANOES cost 35 and thus far sits 62 million domestic (plus another 30+ million international). Keep that budget down, and you've got a great money maker. As it stands, no great shakes. The Tyler Perry model is one that easily applies to the horror genre. Perry's movies are very profitable, but outside of one or two they're not box office smashes. They've got a loyal audience that will turn out and he keeps the budgets down, thus ensuring great profit returns. We could (and should) be seeing that with horror flicks. But they don't get it. Then there's the problem of when something good does come along, it's mishandled. Drag Me To Hell only grossed 42 million (off a 30 million budget). I firmly believe this is because they did it as a summer release. They release that thing in mid-September and catch the Halloween mood, it's a 60 mill grosser EASY. That's a great point and another great irritant to me as a horror fan: when you DO get great films (and f*** what everyone says about there being NO good "PG-13" horror... Drag Me To Hell was an excellent horror movie which carried that rating) they're horribly released and handled by studios, who turn around and THEN have the audacity to bitch that horror makes them no money! Well, no s*** Sherlock! You release a film called Halloween in damn May or June, and it's GOING to wither on the vine, even if it's NOT an abortion directed by Rob Zombie. People LOVE going to horror movies in October...for one, the weather is usually wet and cold, and so it's a great time to hit the theater, and two, you have that whole "Halloween" mood you were talking about. Two plus two equals four, suckas! I mean, Trick R Treat was another film that, had it seen the light of day theatrically, and had it been promoted as THE "must see event movie of the Halloween season" could have been HUGE. HUGE! But it got shuffled off DTV and probably only made a fifth of what if COULD have done. *sigh* Horror CAN turn big profits when it's hyped, and released correctly.
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Lick Ness Monster
Dennis Stamp
From the eerie, eerie depths of Lake Okabena
Posts: 4,874
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Post by Lick Ness Monster on Jun 3, 2010 11:04:05 GMT -5
That's a great point and another great irritant to me as a horror fan: when you DO get great films (and f*** what everyone says about there being NO good "PG-13" horror... Drag Me To Hell was an excellent horror movie which carried that rating) they're horribly released and handled by studios, who turn around and THEN have the audacity to bitch that horror makes them no money! Well, no s*** Sherlock! You release a film called Halloween in damn May or June, and it's GOING to wither on the vine, even if it's NOT an abortion directed by Rob Zombie. People LOVE going to horror movies in October...for one, the weather is usually wet and cold, and so it's a great time to hit the theater, and two, you have that whole "Halloween" mood you were talking about. Two plus two equals four, suckas! I mean, Trick R Treat was another film that, had it seen the light of day theatrically, and had it been promoted as THE "must see event movie of the Halloween season" could have been HUGE. HUGE! But it got shuffled off DTV and probably only made a fifth of what if COULD have done. *sigh* Horror CAN turn big profits when it's hyped, and released correctly. See also: Midnight Meat Train. The movie with a kickass trailer, a faithful script, and actors that fit their respective parts to PERFECTION somehow comes and passes through a handful of theaters with nary a mention on TV, to the point that I honestly didn't even know that the film was RELEASED in theaters. That, to me, is the essence of the mishandling of horror films. From the "nobody cares but me" file, Happy Town returned to the airwaves last night, and it's good to have it back. Since they're being given the chance, hopefully these guys can deliver a better series finale than a typical show centered around an impenetrable mystery (*cough* The X-Files *cough* Lost).
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erisi236
Fry's dog Seymour
... enjoys the rich, smooth taste of Camels.
Not good! Not good! Not good!
Posts: 21,904
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Post by erisi236 on Jun 3, 2010 11:29:29 GMT -5
See also: Midnight Meat Train. The movie with a kickass trailer, a faithful script, and actors that fit their respective parts to PERFECTION somehow comes and passes through a handful of theaters with nary a mention on TV, to the point that I honestly didn't even know that the film was RELEASED in theaters. That, to me, is the essence of the mishandling of horror films. Well, MMT was intentionally buried, so in that respect it was handled well, you weren't supposed to know it was out. As for what American horror has over Euro and J horror there is at least one thing, budget. Say what you will about the product but American movies still at least look better then everyone elses.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 3, 2010 12:53:51 GMT -5
See also: Midnight Meat Train. The movie with a kickass trailer, a faithful script, and actors that fit their respective parts to PERFECTION somehow comes and passes through a handful of theaters with nary a mention on TV, to the point that I honestly didn't even know that the film was RELEASED in theaters. That, to me, is the essence of the mishandling of horror films. Well, MMT was intentionally buried, so in that respect it was handled well, you weren't supposed to know it was out. As for what American horror has over Euro and J horror there is at least one thing, budget. Say what you will about the product but American movies still at least look better then everyone elses. But here's the thing about look...too much of it, and you have the "all style, no substance" theorization, otherwise known as the " Wachowski Effect". Sure, we have the budget, yet still...there's French horror and J-horror and whatnot still kicking our ass, because they actually put in the story and the memorable characters, and etc., etc., etc.
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Post by Rorschach on Jun 3, 2010 23:02:07 GMT -5
Well, MMT was intentionally buried, so in that respect it was handled well, you weren't supposed to know it was out. As for what American horror has over Euro and J horror there is at least one thing, budget. Say what you will about the product but American movies still at least look better then everyone elses. But here's the thing about look...too much of it, and you have the "all style, no substance" theorization, otherwise known as the " Wachowski Effect". Sure, we have the budget, yet still...there's French horror and J-horror and whatnot still kicking our ass, because they actually put in the story and the memorable characters, and etc., etc., etc. I move that said effect be renamed the "Michael Bay Effect". If anything, the Wachowskis were notorious for OVERDOING the story to the point where it was such a muddled mess, all you COULD do was sit back and look at the pretty FX. Bay on the other hand....that man knows how to create a billion dollar turd that looks terrific....but yet is STILL a turd despite being a solid gold plated one. ;D
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Post by sunwukong on Jun 3, 2010 23:15:49 GMT -5
The Wachowski's gimmick was making people think they had some deeper meaning or greater point. After the first Matrix came out, there was all this critical stuff being written in academia about neo-Platanism and eastern philosophy and how the movie brought it all together.
The only problem was...it didn't. It was just a veneer of babble they placed on top of a sci-fi/action flick. They were throwing that stuff out there and it got people talking, but when the sequels came and people thought they'd get a better exploration of it, they were greeted with boring, bloated messes of nonsense and gibberish.
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Ken Ivory
Hank Scorpio
This sorta thing IS my bag, baby.
Posts: 5,282
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Post by Ken Ivory on Jun 4, 2010 7:40:43 GMT -5
Well it was this time 4 years ago I went to see The Omen remake in the cinema on it's opening day.
It had it's moments (opening sequence was cool/creepy) but nothing on the original (as is the case 99.9% of the time)
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Post by mysterydriver on Jun 4, 2010 8:19:14 GMT -5
Did I ever mention that I finished Legion? Maybe because I'm trying to unremember it...
So many problems with that movie beyond the ones I can't discuss. I'm not sure why I had to wait to watch the rest when the last 20 minutes were insanely predictable. Every bit of foreshadowing is a bash to the skull. Dennis Quaid goes from interesting character to cliche just like everyone else. The Deus Ex Machina is very much a cop out.
Anyway, outside of babbling, rambling, and ranting, I'll say it's just plain bad in my opinion.
Next time I struggle to watch a movie, I should realize there is a reason for it.
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